No Offence (2015–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript

- (man) That's not my memory.
- (Woman) What?

I was the only one
whose glass she didn't top up.

- (man) I kept your glass topped up.
- Yeah, and she watched you having to.

- Yet you carried on flirting with her.
- Flirting? Behave.

She loves it. It's like a hobby for her.

- So you were?
- Were you talking to me?

No, because I was listening
to the other five cabbages talking shit,

with an empty glass,
on the only night I've had off in weeks.

Yeah, and five times in the last month,

I've invited you round to mine,
or me to yours,

and five times it's, "Can't, Bob."
"Oh, no, Bob." "Won't, Bob."



What's that about, eh?

Pull up! Next junction.

Where we off?

I'm going home.

People who want to be liked this much
are the ones fucking off, Bob.

- Seriously.
- I'd rather have a wank.

(sighs)

- I can radio you another driver, mate.
- Let him use his own minutes.

Go on. Break the bank, Bob.

- Drive.
- Grow up!

See Lurch? Get me as close to him
as you can without drawing attention.

I don't want dragging into fuzzy stuff.

He's wanted for attempted murder,

stabbing of that Asian kid
down Fallowfield.



That's Mervyn Manley.
We've a warrant out for his arrest.

- We getting him or what?
- I know what I'm doing.

Look after my stuff,
and turn the meter off, yeah?

Ripped By mstoll

(man laughs)

(passengers) ♪ Too shy, shy

♪ Hush, hush, eye to eye

♪ Too shy, shy...

OK.

Hiya. Hiya.

- Here you are, give us that.
- Cheers. Is she in yet?

- Yeah. I'll take this to the kitchen.
- And these.

- And what are you carrying?
- You, usually.

♪ Hush, hush, eye to eye

♪ Too shy, shy, hush, hush...

Guess whose funeral this got played at!
Dinah, whose funeral?

Looks like recruitment
for a gay fuzz federation.

- Mervyn Manley.
- Manley's dead?

- He's dead.
- How?

How? Yes! Ten points
for the bright bird at the back.

Thanks for asking,
since no one else has.

Just like this. Boom!

- Go finger yourself, you...
- He went straight under a stag-do bus.

His head came back in bottles.
How long had we been after him?

Dinah, can I have your opinion
on this woman in reception?

Connie, I'm not your woman
for early-bird crackheads.

She's got really credible-sounding
information about an armed robbery.

- Would you like the air miles or not?
- Yeah. Yeah.

I saw him on the telly, clear as a bell.

I live paused, poked it back a bit,
and there he was, freeze-frame.

Him to a T. Couldn't not be him. To a T.

Mrs Patterson, this is a kid
you'd recognise from locally or?

Mitchell. Mitchell, my grandson.
Clearer than a bell.

Have you any idea
of Mitchell's whereabouts right now?

He's at home watching Downton
with his Frosties

till his jeans dry for Scarborough,
so I'd get your skates on.

Sorry, excuse me, madam.
Just give me two seconds, please.

Boss wants a word.
I'll shuffle this one through.

Eh, it's not a dental appointment.
I'm reporting a serious crime here.

- Word about what?
- She didn't look cute.

(sighs)

(sobbing)

- Joy?
- Di, I can't face it.

This is what I most hate myself for,

being spacky at taking it on the chin
with bad news.

- Bad news? What?
- Deering's called me into her office.

Oh, Christ!
I've just gone and used a tampon.

- Wow.
- I'm not even on.

Joy, calm down.
Well, she's called me in an' all.

Why?

You're both through to the shortlist
for sergeant. Congratulations.

From nine opening candidates.

That's an unexpectedly big badge
in my favour.

Big day. Very big day.

- How many are on the shortlist?
- Two. But seriously, cheers, girls.

The odds on that return were...
148,000 to one.

So you know what?

Fuck MacLaren. Fuck the Googles.

They couldn't find a clit
without a search engine.

Hey, hey, hey.
Detective Constable Freers?

Inspector Deering, I would like
to formally withdraw my application

on the grounds that, well,
Dinah's gonna walk it, we all know that.

Prospective Sergeant Joy Freers,

pipe down or I will deselect you
personally and permanently.

What have I just said?

Two top-notch officers under my wing

beat seven gormless prostates
from all over the posh shop.

You think you cheated the odds
getting this far?

News for you, Lady Fuzz, we all did.

- That understood?
- Yes, ma'am. Thank you.

If ever she needed a couple
of your mum's doodahs, it's now.

- I think she's had a pair already.
- No, Dinah.

Don't get used to that smile.

Well done getting this far.

But it's you that will be withdrawing.

Secure the blinds and come and sit here.

Nobody is relishing this.

That coat is one of
your Gina's graduation pieces,

which I know cos she offered
to make me one for silly money.

Otherwise, with the clarity of the
footage, you could have been anybody.

But you're not, are you, Dinah?

You'll withdraw on domestic grounds.

Fine.

Sorry I walked away,
but I'd been drinking.

Yeah, on the one night I'm allowed to.

- You ran a man under a bus.
- I did not. He tripped.

You fled.

Walking away, I know,
isn't doing nothing wrong.

He was wanted for attempted murder.

- Amongst five others.
- But the only one without an alibi.

Do it in longhand,
in the style of a personal letter to me.

Use Viv, not Inspector.

(knocking at door)

Ma'am, there's... an urgent police
matter that requires your attention.

- They ready for me, Spike?
- Indeed they are, ma'am.

What took 'em?

(squirts spray)

(groans)

I'll have to go via the loos. I've used
the sprays the wrong way round.

- Dinah, coming?
- Yeah.

(all cheer)

Thank you very much. I hadn't a clue,
I swear. This time I hadn't a clue.

(horn blares)

We're off down
to Bailey Street mortuary.

Someone just in
you would not believe.

Now, Dinah, love,
your jack plug's hanging, darling.

Right, stick your thingies on, lads.
Disco for this one, I think.

(siren wails)

So a little Chinese lady, yeah?
Accident on the M56, yeah?

Dog's unsecured on the back seat,
but she's opened a bag of Maltesers.

Her little Jack Russell, he jumps
up front for some of that and boom!

Little Chinese lady, she goes
smack into the back of a vehicle,

ambulance, as it happens,
so our 55-year-old Miss Saigon...

- That's Vietnam.
...ends up with the entire head,

(American accent)
The entire head of the dog

slammed right down her little face.

- You're taking me to see that?
- I knew it'd cheer us both up.

(siren wails)

According to his pedigree stud records,

the dog's more or less paid
for her house.

Bernard, darling, I know I said
I'd let you take the punch line,

but Dinah here, she means a lot to me.

She's just been shat on comically,
so do you mind?

According to her medical records, she's
got a history of gastric infections

invoked by the ingestion of...

...dog semen.

So did Jacky Russell push
or was he jumped?

(snorts)

One for me.

The left clavicle
is crushed to a paste...

- Miller.
- What?

- Ooh. What about it?
- She needs moving up the queue.

There's another Down's girl missing,

I saw a misper report
on Deering's desk.

Lads, you need to get me back to base.

- Oh, my God.
- (Spike) You got the job.

- Oh, my God.
- It's you.

How?

- Sarge.
- Connie.

There was a Down's syndrome girl
reported missing on Wednesday,

Jocelyn Wade.

They found her messing with
the chocolate fountain in Thornton's.

In her dreams. Dinah thinks
we've seen her on a slab.

Oh, no.

And when I was in here
with the inspector,

there was a weird little flyer
for a missing persons.

Yeah, the other Down's girl.

- Where's the report?
- (Connie) There wasn't a report.

When they opened reception first thing,

that flyer was just stapled
to the front door.

It must've been put there last night
cos it's not rained since.

The lads can grade the image,

but we'll struggle
with these last couple of digits.

Jocelyn drowned.

Just like Lucy Cooke in March.
I need that file too, Connie. Thanks.

- You?
- I know.

You?

Joy.

This is between you and me
till we know what we're talking about.

You've just got a new boss and you've
nothing to say about my promotion?

Yeah. You'll wish you weren't so high up
if this turns out to be our fault.

A girl disappeared about six months ago.
Lucy Cooke.

Where did we find the body?

The Down's syndrome girl?
Accidental drowning.

- But where did the body show up?
- River Irwell, south bank.

Fallen into the river
with a broken tibula, fibula;

explained why she never
made it back to the bank. Why?

What if it wasn't accidental?
Who else worked the case?

(boy) Nan?

My nan? What's she on about,
the barmy old bint?

We know what he's going to say.
He's going to say he was at my party.

I was at her birthday party.

Oh, yeah, baby? No.

I've checked, they've checked,
we've all checked the party video

and he's the only person not in it.

- (phone buzzes)
- Oh, sorry.

Ask her who paid for the party,
ask who paid for the presents,

because none of the others
could be arsed.

And then ask the vicious old bitch
who shot the video.

Me.

Nobody was coming
till I said I'd cover the bar.

(phone buzzes)

(phone buzzes)

How was Jocelyn Wade
not filed as high priority?

Her parents reported her missing
on Wednesday. You two brought it in.

She was high priority.

Yeah, Joy,
you were the reporting officer.

No, her parents called it off because...

(door opens)

(Spike) Knock, knock, knock.

I thought this was just for me.

Little sneaky wank or summat.

Look, her parents called it off.

And you let 'em?
Without visual confirmation?

Jocelyn Wade we're on about.
She's in the mortuary.

(Joy) They didn't want her
wasting our time.

No, she'd vanished
two or three times before.

This was her storming off
after a ballistic row.

Her parents claimed it was
never actually a missing persons.

She didn't live with the parents.

She was an electorally registered adult.
She even had a husband.

That's two Down's girls drowned within
six months. What if this is a hat-trick?

What, you think they're connected?
When did this girl go?

Nobody's filed a missing persons
under that name, so we have to start...

(door opens)

(footsteps)

Hello?

(door slams)

(Deering urinates)

(Deering sighs)

♪ Now if you feel that you can't go on

♪ Because all of your hope is gone

♪ And your world around
is crumbling down

♪ Darling, reach out

♪ Reach out

(Deering urinates)

Ha! ♪ I'll be there

♪ With a love that will shelter you

♪ I'll be there

♪ With a love that will see you through

Ah, Jesus.
She touches paperwork we've gotta read.

Right...

(Spike) We need to know
who posted this.

(Joy) The lads are working
on the phone number.

(phone rings)

Joy, I've got your back.
You've got my heart.

Let me start the talking with the boss
and you kick in when you can.

- If she'll let you get a word in, yeah?
- Yeah.

Prepare a sealed briefing room, please.

Right, the date that we've been given
on Cathy Calvert is patchy,

so the circumstances
of her disappearance can't be matched.

But the first two girls,
Jocelyn Wade and Lucy Cooke,

both turned up drowned
within ten days of vanishing.

Which can't not give us hope
for Cathy Calvert, right,

if that's a pattern feature.

She's got to have been missing since
last night and we think in grave danger.

- And we haven't had...
- Ma'am.

So this call was made using
the last two numbers of seven and nine.

(officer) Oh, hello. I was ringing
about the missing persons flyer.

- (man) Do you know where she is?
- You mean Cathy Calvert?

- (man) Who's this?
- Who's this?

(man) You're a copper?

(officer) You know, it's weird,
I often get mistaken for one,

but, no, I work in Comet
and I saw your...

(man) Yeah, right. Comet went bust
years back. Just find her.

I redialled two minutes later.
Line was dead. Roaming VPN?

Bring Jocelyn Wade's parents in
for aggressive questioning.

She interviews, you assist.

You're taking me
to Cathy Calvert's family.

All we're doing is responding
to a potential missing persons report.

Could be a hoax
or a twatting incident.

- What do I mean?
- Trolling, ma'am.

The only patterns we'll be discussing
will relate to the furnishings.

Lucy Cooke, was she buried or cremated?

- Uh, buried.
- (Deering) Get an exhumation order.

(man over radio) Go ahead, ma'am.

(Deering) I want
all officers on leave recalling.

If they're pulling sickies,
set their car alarms off

and see how fast
they can reach the pavement,

then drag 'em in and get 'em up to date.

Hello! Detective Inspector Deering
and DC Kowalska.

- (loud dance music)
- This is taking the piss.

Ow! I thought they were the other shoes.

Oh, hello.
It's only us, and it were open.

Oh, deary, deary, 999.
Little ratty's last supper.

Are any of you Cathy? Is Cathy here?

Thank you.

When, where and wearing what
did anybody last see Cathy?

- Who's Cathy?
- She was reported missing.

This address. Catherine Calvert.

Oh, our Cath?

Do they mean our Cath?

- Where are your parents?
- They're in...

Where is it? Not Del Monte.

- Alicante.
- Do they know she's missing?

- Who is?
- Cathy.

Since when?

Who's got the most recent photo
of Catherine Calvert

of this address,
born 22nd September, 1998?

N...

No.

N...

Ah, here we go.

Mam and Dad's wedding. Yeah.

When were that taken?

Saturday before last.

- That's why they're on their honeymoon.
- Who are they travelling with?

Uncle Buck and Beryl and her ex... kids.

No. Which airline? Which airline?

Oh, for... easyJet or Ryanair?

Um, easyJet, cos me dad's phobic
about trumpets since Afghanistan.

Didn't I use to cut your hair?

Very well, actually.

Fucking mercy, please.
How did this happen?

- She's not a mong. She's not a mong.
- Down's.

She's not, though.

This is you again.

Speed bumps at 70. This is one fuck-up
I cannot bail you out of.

- Me?
- Yeah.

It's me that's got to go to MacLaren's
office and explain the shit out of this.

- Ma'am, we weren't wrong.
- Her chromosomes say different.

Catherine Calvert,
matching the same description,

was involved in an RTC
we attended recently.

(Deering) Oh, fuckin' hell.

I wanted to see him on his own turf.
You're coming with me.

- Ma'am?
- With me.

Stand these people down.

It was a genuine error.

When you raised the alarm
for three in a row,

three Down's syndrome girls in a row,

which the press are repeating like
parrots, all this shit was appropriate.

You're chasing a girl
who is evidently not Down's,

who hasn't even been reported missing
by her own family.

- This is nowhere near a three.
- It's the same girl.

A Catherine Calvert
was riding up front on a double-decker

when it did an emergency stop.

Her x-rays show fractures
in both of her cheekbones,

a broken nose, extensive swelling.

She vanished within a narrow radius
of the other two girls.

- If we made the mistake...
- Fair dos, cos look at her.

...then so could he.

No. No.

We've seen this before.
You're not doing this to me again, Viv.

You've got something wrong
but won't admit it,

so you're letting your ego
carry on regardless.

This internment order? No.

Declaring martial law? No.

Air surveillance? No.

Stand these people down.

Everyone to their first positions.
Spend as much as it takes.

What, me?

One of us has to
and I've Obama to deal with.

(door opens)

- I hadn't finished.
- Viv, whoa. Know when to give up.

I asked for a private meeting, which you
decided to have in front of my flock,

making unfounded allusions

to my professional fuck-ups
in front of a junior officer. Name one.

Staniford case.

What are you bringing that crap up for?

You need reminding
you're addressing a senior officer.

Fuck off, Darren.
Give us a minute cos this is serious.

- Viv...
- This is the same case, sir.

If Cathy Calvert was Down's enough
to convince a serial snatcher,

then she's Down's enough to deserve
every penny we can chuck her way.

And I've a much longer version of that
if your prostates can stand it.

(urinates)

This is Jocelyn Wade?

We're deeply sorry for your loss.

She's gone, Mikey.
Do you know what that means?

I understand. She's dead.

Does Mikey understand that,
as Jocelyn's husband,

we'll need a pretty long conversation?

- Ask him.
- Fine. I've got nothing to hide.

No, Mikey.
They only want to talk, sweetheart.

Come on, let's go.

I'm going nowhere for a while, Laurie.
I'm sorry.

- Connie brought me up to speed.
- Not spoiling any surprises, am I?

So when have I ever
planned your birthday on your birthday?

If the heat dies down, you'll find me

with the band in the basement
in whatever state.

Well, don't expect me.
This is a real bad 'un.

But if I do get back,
the looser the better.

I just came by
for a quick battery charge.

Tide me over for a while.

See you later.

(Joy) Can you each tell me
where you were

on the day and time
of Jocelyn's disappearance?

Can you also state clearly for the tape

whether there were any internal
family grievances or disputes

between yourselves and Jocelyn

that might have primed you
to act grievously towards her,

ie were either or were both of you

involved in her disappearance or demise
in any way?

Except we will be asking
those questions separately,

over a period of time
and in fuller context.

Well, primarily
I would like a big answer to:

What was your motivation for
withdrawing the missing persons report

when, according to our sources,

Jocelyn was never seen again
by anyone else after that first day?

Did she come home?

No.

Did you see her
at her home in Northenden?

No.

Who decided
she was no longer a missing person?

That... That was me.

Are we under suspicion?

Oh, God, no, no.
These... These are just questions.

Can you give us your name for the tape?

I'm Mikey. Michael Wade.
Michael Taylor Wade.

Simon, you're wrong, I can sing.

I'm sure you can, Mikey.

Can you tell me where you were
the day Jocelyn disappeared?

- I was in the Marchmont.
- And the Marchmont's what? A clinic?

It's a hotel.

We only moved to Derbyshire

cos we thought Jocelyn
had fallen in with a bad crowd.

We'd no idea she was the ringleader.

By 18, she'd earned enough
from prostitution to get her own flat.

Yes, we're her legal parents,
but we haven't had control of Jocelyn,

and it was the police who said it first,

we haven't had control of Jocelyn
since she was... 15, 16?

What about her 14th birthday?

Broken nose, me. Collarbone, him.

She pinned the social worker
to the floor and peed on her face.

I was having sex.

With who?

Gary and Brenda.

Um...

These are people... They made you
do things you didn't wanna do.

No. I'm really good at it.

She made him... do inhuman stuff.

She didn't make him.

No, Angela.

The idea came from somebody's head first
and it won't have been little Mikey's.

- No.
- Sex for money?

If they didn't pay,
Jocelyn wouldn't let them come back.

Jocelyn knew loads.

She meant a lot to you, Jocelyn?

She's everything.

Still everything.

Jocelyn Wade, she was a high-functioning
member of the community.

Well, she was a prostitute.

And her young husband also rented
his arse out for all it was worth.

Turns out to be more than you think,
from their Halifax account.

Lucy Cooke was the North Chester
Rose Queen 2008, '09, '10.

All three girls vanished or were
last seen alive in roughly this area.

Far as we know, Cathy Calvert shared
no social contacts with the other two.

Well, she wasn't a Down's girl,
so why would she?

Except she showed up somewhere
within the guy's catchment area

with the same features.

He made the same mistake we did.

For somebody out there, folks,
this is a big, fat turn-on.

Cathy Calvert only looked the way
she did for a very short period of time.

This fella moves like a dart
and so must we.

Don't go spunking the budget dragging in
cross-eyed uncles and step chaps.

Concentrate on shops,

addresses within sight of bus stops
close to where the abduction sites were.

Chop chop.

Oh, and charm, charm, not coercion.

We sure as shit haven't got time
for warrants.

Catherine Calvert.

Oh, yes. I did her nose myself
because we were so short-staffed.

Three sutures to the bridge of her nose.

First was a walk-in,
the second was 24 hours later.

I booked her into the fracture clinic
to get her packing changed.

- Packing?
- Nasal septal dressings.

Her orbital sinuses had collapsed,

so we had to push a roll of sterile
underlay up there with Jackson forceps.

Yeah, no, I get it, right.
When was this?

Saturday 3:30.

She'd have been cleared when?

The fracture clinic's carnage
at the best of times,

but Saturday was Liverpool
versus United, so God knows when.

- DC Tanner to DC Kowalska. Come in.
- (Dinah) Spike?

Cathy came back to the hospital
on Saturday to the fracture clinic.

Are you with Ruth?

OK, Ruth,
so if you're travelling by bus,

which is the nearest stop
to the fracture clinic?

(Ruth) Belvedere Road,
next to the flower stall.

(Dinah) This is Cathy outside
the hospital on her second visit.

She's trying to get home, but buses
are packed, so none are stopping.

Yeah, now, look. She's given up
on the bus and started thumbing a lift.

Now you wait for it.

Wait for it... And there. There's
the white van stopping for Cathy.

Look at the rear lights.

(Spike) Yeah, the nearside indicator's
on its way out.

Freeze the numberplate.

- Yeah, and bring it down.
- Yeah.

(Deering) Smaller.

What are you squinting at?
I could read it from Rhyl.

I'm authorising force-wide observations

on all channels
for a white transit van.

VRM: Delta Victor 51, Alpha Bravo Echo.

Driver to be apprehended on sight.

Yes, ma'am, this guy picked up speed
the second he saw us.

(Dinah) It was a 13-year-old
at the wheel of Granddad's work van.

- Come again?
- (Spike) The granddad was paralytic.

Kid straps bricks to his feet and learns
to drive between here and Wythenshawe.

Respect, actually.

Tune me in.

Based on where we found
Lucy and Jocelyn,

we've narrowed down to where
they could have been put in the water.

We're working with the assumption
that he likes to keep the girls

close to where he drowns them.
That's the main target of the CCTV.

The combined area's still way too big
for the manpower we can drum up.

Ma'am, we found this on a scaffolding
firm's CCTV near Salford Bridge.

It's about an hour after Cathy Calvert
was abducted, yeah?

Watch the white van.

He must have switched plates,
cos look at the nearside light cluster.

That's him. That's the fucker.

He comes off at the bridge
and obviously takes a left.

(chuckles) And bang!

Both Lucy Cooke and Jocelyn Wade
had traces of iron filings

in their upper respiratory system.

Right, can you get that other map
back up?

Sorry, if you please.

Right, Lucy Cooke was found
in the Irwell here,

Jocelyn Wade in this little river,
or technically a brook.

Now, if he's turning right,
then we're twiddling thumbs.

To the right of the bridge
is all new developments for aluminium.

But if we're looking for iron filings
and he's taken a left...

The only block around there that used
to be but isn't any more a foundry

with heavy long-term residue
of iron filings in the riverbed.

And I know most of that cos my sister
bought a flat a couple of blocks down

and all you see on a Sunday lunch

is rats eating polystyrene cups
and each other's arses

while you're chewing
on your Linda McCartney.

Right, so that...

that is the most credible point
of deposit into the river.

This point, if whoever he is knows his
docklands, and it's looking that way,

is the only point
where the current's strong enough

to transport a body downstream

and pick up enough iron filing deposits
on the way.

I don't care what they say. Sometimes
you're really nearly worth every penny.

Tell everyone downstream of here
that they're wasting their time.

Repeat, wasting their time.
Bonded warehouse 47120.

Left bank of the river,
repeat, left bank of the river.

Armed police! Armed police!
Show yourself!

Armed police! Armed police!
Show yourself!

- Show yourself! Armed police!
- Armed police!

Show yourself!

(shouting continues)

To the floor now! To the floor now
or you're not getting the choice.

Hold your weapons. Heel!

- Where's the girl?
- In the back.

Requesting general medical assistance.
Will relate specifics according to...

- (woman) What you doing? Bog off.
- Girl's in there?

Yeah, but it's 60 and breathing
with its legs open.

Uncuff him. Back off out. Back off out.

Stop! Stop the vehicle now!

Stuart! Get out!

Echo 265 November, white van.

- What you doing?
- He drowns them.

He puts them in the water.

- Open the door!
- Show yourself!

Open the door!

He's jammed the pedal.

- Clean as a whistle, ma'am.
- Van didn't travel far.

He's here somewhere.

There!

DS Freers requesting
urgent medical assistance

and lights on the water.

- Come on, move!
- Dinah!

- She's in here!
- Let me help! Let me help! Let me help!

Call in air support.
Fan out the dogs in every direction.

I want every inch
of this scrubland searched.

- Oh, my God.
- This one does not get away from us.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Cathy. Cathy!

Oh, thank God.

Thank God.

Hello, sweetheart. Can you talk?

I need you to talk, Cathy.

Can you say your name?

No, no, no. Don't fall asleep.

I'm Dinah.

Stay with me, stay with me.
You're alright.

I wanna know how that man with a van,
A, knew we were coming

and, B, managed to get past 16 vehicles,
seven dogs and two dozen officers.

We've got limited CCTV footage
on the docks

cos it's still 60 percent derelict.

Right, listen carefully.

DS Freers will explain how the rest of
this long night's gonna play out. Sarge.

- What you just said in the car.
- I didn't think you were listening.

- It was just a bit of conversation.
- Yeah, most of it was.

Till you predicted
what Spike's just confirmed.

We're probably gonna get zero
from CCTV, therefore...

Oh. Therefore,
just from search and arrest records,

we know that the population
down at the dockside

multiplies when the sun goes down.

So I'd put this on foot, ma'am.

Target the vagrants,
target the prostitutes,

because this guy we're after,

he knows that landscape
like the back of his hand,

and, I'm not being funny,
but so do that lot.

- Somebody must have seen him.
- See? A plan.

OK, get some scran,
and then ready your bones

for the other side of midnight
in Manchester.

I'm never not listening.

Oh, Jesus, Ruth.

Oh, that's going in
like a damp-proof course.

I was only in the water three minutes.

Yes, but people have been shitting in it
for centuries.

Ow, ow, ow.

You've made this
a very arse-about-face day for me.

What are we supposed to make of you?

I wanna speak to Cathy
as soon as the medics are done.

- She was asking for you.
- (Deering) Ditch that.

No staff to go near the girl

till after Dr Peep has finished
psychiatric assessment.

She asked for me personally?

With Dinah dressed like this,
she's just another patient

until I personally sign
her discharge forms.

I didn't hear that.

Stick a bump on the head in her records
to explain walkabouts.

There's a machine round the corner.
Buy her nice things.

I'm nipping home
for a shit, shave and a shampoo.

You're a star.

How are you, gorgeous?
Remember me? Dinah.

I know. I thought they said
you weren't allowed in.

I'm... I'm not.

But I had to see for myself
you were alright.

We're flying your mum and dad
back from Spain. They're on their way.

You're looking great.

They've taken the packing out.
Really painful. It...

Said it should have been changed
four days ago.

Cathy, you were seen climbing
into a van outside the hospital.

I can't even remember
leaving the hospital.

I'm trying, but nothing comes back.

Your tox reports show high levels
of Rohypnol. It can mask areas of pain.

Have you had pain in any other areas
than you told the doctors?

Did you get her to ask me that?

What have I said?
Nothing hurts. Nothing else hurts.

It's OK, sweetheart.
A good night's sleep will...

Look, I'm not going to sleep! I'm not!

I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. No.

I'll come and see you first thing, yeah?

Please.

She's fine, Magda.
She's been dried and sterilised.

But I'd barbecue the clothes
if I were you.

(in Polish)

Hospital? What for, Mum?

What you doing up?

We are not standing here.
I've done food. Come on.

Mum.

We were chasing a perp
and my shoe broke.

I fell in the water, that's it.

Why is she lying, Spike?

Your mum dived in the water
and saved a girl's life.

- Did you?
- She did.

No gambling on weekdays.

We've got to eat,
so we can play and eat.

Honestly, thanks, Magda,
but we've gotta get straight back.

Rest assured, I'll be back to fleece you
again, don't worry. Come on.

We can take some food with us, though,
if you've got boxes.

Decent-sized boxes.

What happened to the girl?

Um, she'd gone missing
and bumped into a bad lot.

- Was she hurt?
- Well, she's sitting up and talking.

She's gonna be fine, honestly.

- Her mum and dad'll be with her by now.
- Eh? Hasn't the boss told you?

Oi.

Catherine Calvert's parents,
they didn't make it back from Spain.

(Stuart) The flight vouchers
the embassy gave 'em,

they buggered off
in the opposite direction.

Tenerife.

I was gonna wait till tomorrow
to tell you.

What time
did they board that flight, Spike?

Before we pulled her out of the water?

Before they knew
whether she was dead or alive?

Well, she is alive, Dinah,
thanks to you.

(phone rings)

Sorry.

It's the duty social worker.

Hi, Gary. Hiya, mate.

Yeah, I need
an emergency protection order sorting

for a girl you'll have seen in the news,
Catherine Calvert.

- Date of birth, 22nd of September...
- Oh, thanks, just...

I need to wash my face.
Just give us a sec. I'll be right back.

Go on, get your food sorted.
You're gonna need it.

Mum, do us a big vodka, yeah?

Oi, mouth.

She doesn't need to be hearing that
right now, does she?

(door closes)

- No.
- Not a question, Ruth.

Has something happened?

Your parents didn't make it
back home yet, Cathy.

What that means is...

They're not coming, are they?

It means we're obliged
to hand you over to social services.

Why can't I just go home anyway?

Because every single member
of your family's on drugs charges.

They wouldn't be if I were there.

Cathy...

You don't have to go into the system.

There's room for you at my house.

Who else lives there?

My daughter, Tessa. She's ten.
And me mum, Magda.

We're a good team.

You're 16 next month.

What benefits you're entitled to,
you keep for yourself.

Blow half, save half,
do whatever you want with it.

We wouldn't take anything off you.

You can take these now
and think about it.

Or take them now and tell me
to get the social workers off your back.

Do you...
Do you need more time to think?

Or do we leave here together?

Take me with you.

Social services are not
gonna be happy with this.

So remember what we both just said.

Right, I'll be as fast as I can.

Do not move.

Ripped By mstoll