Nip/Tuck (2003–2010): Season 1, Episode 12 - Antonia Ramos - full transcript

The plastic surgeons operate a Latino woman with bad breast implants, but find out these are just a customs deception devised to turn would-be immigrants into couriers by their spooky acquaintance, Colombian drug baron Eduardo Escobar, who forces them to 'harvest' more of those cocaine packages, in addition to paying him a fortune they can't raise so fast, even selling precious assets. At the same time nymphomaniac Gina Russo bleeds Christian financially and emotionally in the name for her/their baby. Meanwhile Julia is the only member of her Pilates class that doesn't blackball Sophia, the transsexual.

Previously on Nip / Tuck:

Silvio stole that money!

Yeah, that's right, asshole. I'm pregnant.

Great.

Good God.

Every time I see what women do
to themselves with these tit jobs...

it makes me ashamed
of what I do for a living.

These tit jobs are 70?% of our business, Liz.

Think about that the next time
you slip your grossly overpaid ass...

into your courtside seats at the WNBA.

So, was Julia completely insane
when she was pregnant?



No more than usual. Why?

Gina just seems
particularly out of her mind lately.

Apparently, so are you.
I can't believe you're sticking with this.

She's keeping the child, Sean.
What was I supposed to do?

This poor woman.
Those guys are butchers down there.

I don't even think Bobolit
puts in doubles anymore.

There. You all right?

Okay, last one. Got it.

Does this look like saline to you?

The color's off. So is the consistency.

What the hell are they putting
in these things there?

Heroin.

That tit you're holding is worth $250,000.

What do you want?



What's mine. Pepe, fetch the tits.

Now finish sewing her up.
I'll wait in Dr. McNamara's office.

I can't stand the sight of blood.

Where's the dyke?

Still throwing up her McGriddle.

-And how's my Maria doing?
-Resting comfortably in recovery.

When will she be ready to travel?

I have to get her back to Colombia
to get implanted again.

You can't put her through that.

Her muscle tissue was terribly damaged
by the last surgery.

She could lose all feeling in her breasts
if you try again.

Small price to pay
for the chance at the American dream.

That girI begged to be my mule,
just to get into this country.

Who are we to judge her
if she wants something better...

something you two
take for granted every day?

I've heard enough of this bullshit.

She's not going anywhere.
I'm calling the cops.

You do that, Dr. Troy. I had some things
I wanted to discuss with them...

about a former patient of yours.
You guys remember Silvio Perez, right?

I'm sure you remember
where you dumped his body.

Now let's talk shop.

Your business and mine are a lot alike.

We help people deaI with the hate
they feeI about themselves.

You do it by carving up their faces.
I do it by dulling their senses.

A nose job, an eight ball....

What's the difference?

Now, what keeps us in business
are two things. One:

People are always
going to hate themselves.

Two: We do our jobs
with the utmost precision.

No scars, no loose ends,
and no missing $300,000.

I want my money back.

What money?

The money Silvio Perez stole from me
to pay for his new face.

Now, I'll give you a week to pay me back...

because you guys
did such a nice job on Maria.

We don't have access to that kind of cash.
We spent it...

-on business improvements.
-Not my problem.

We're not liquid right now. Sorry.

That's a pretty wife, Dr. McNamara.
I could get it up for her.

She work out?

Remember your guiding principles, ladies:

Form...

precision...

breathing.

Find your core...

and then just let your muscles
obey your will.

And lift...

and switch.

Julia.

-Color me shocked.
-Shoulders pulled down your back.

Never in a million years
would I imagine you'd give up Jude...

-for us mere mortals.
-Long necks.

-How's your core these days?
-Long lines.

Overextended. How's your divorce?

Going around, from what I hear.

Annie told Tory
that Mommy and Daddy aren't talking.

-Let's do some roll-ups.
-My sympathies, Julia.

Raise up your arms...

and roll up, with your head
and shoulders following.

Deepen the curve...

and exhale rolling down.

Shoulders down your back.

Julia McNamara, right? Sophia Lopez.

Oh, my manners! I'm sorry.
I am a patient of your husband's.

You're just as pretty as in your picture.

Right. Of course. Yeah.
Sophia, he's told me all about you.

And he's told me all about you, too.

Especially, Julia, about how yoga Pilates
really works for you.

Dr. McNamara thought it would work
for me, too. Maybe lengthen my muscles.

Make them look feminine
and lean like yours.

Pull the belly off the floor.
Bellybutton to spine.

Goodness, I feeI like Gumby.

lnhale as you extend.

Exhale down.

Sit back on your heels to child's pose.

Extend your back and breathe.

-Good.
-Maybe after we're done...

I could treat you to a smoothie.

Sophia, l'd love to...

but I have to pick
my daughter up after school...

and then I have a class, so....

Excellent. Roll up to sitting...

and namaste. Thank you, class.
Great work today.

Do you have to eat that on my bed?
Those are $1,100 sheets.

I have to eat, asshole.

Fat makes the baby's brain grow.

This bed has sharp corners. Not good.

We're gonna have to babyproof this
before junior shows up.

Too bad you didn't babyproof it before.

Here. I earmarked the stuff we need.

$4,000 for a pram?

It's a Burberry. They're all the rage.

Here. This one's half the price.

Yeah, screw you
and your $1,100 sheets, asshole!

-You have the money.
-No, I don't!

Jesus! What's up your ass?

Hard day at work.

I'm just a little tense.

Really?

Well, I could think of
a couple of interesting ways to relax.

What's the matter?
Not turned on by pregnant women?

No, just not turned on by you.

-Sorry.
-Me, too.

I'm repulsive.

No more so than usual, sweetheart.

Spare me, Christian. I know
how pathetic I am, coming on to you.

You know, it's these damn hormones.

What is this? You still smoking?

How else am I supposed
to deaI with my cravings?

The withdrawaI is hard on the baby.
I can only eat so much.

What, would you rather I suck on these
or some random guy?

Do you have any idea the damage
that cigarettes have on a fetus?

Try acupuncture.

That would take care of my addiction,
not my oraI fixation.

Then I will buy you
a bag of goddamn lollipops!

-No more of these.
-Fine.

But I get the Burberry pram.

-Did you sell a shirt?
- The Boatox. $140,000 for my speedboat.

Can you believe it?
It's worth at least $75,000 more.

We're lucky that Bobolit
had this kind of cash around.

-ls that all you got?
-No, I hocked my Rolex for $20,000.

How much did you get?

I emptied our family emergency fund
and my personaI account...

called in a few outstanding bills.

And?

I'm at $25,000 right now.

-What?
-I'm sorry, Christian.

I have a wife and kids.
I don't have the disposable income you do.

I could cash in some bonds,
but I'm gonna take a bath on them.

Then get wet, Sean! I sold my baby.
You need to come up with some money.

I know that. Any ideas?

I guess you're gonna have to take on
a few less desirable clients.

Tell me what you don't like about yourself.

I'll need the money
for your surgery up-front...

and in cash.

Here you go.

Sure you're not hungry, guys?

My girlfriend, she loves
the hot shit restaurants in town...

but I prefer it here.

Nothing beats a fruity tooty.

He's your personaI taster?

With power comes envy.

With envy comes assassination.

Maybe if you laid off the cocaine,
you wouldn't be so paranoid.

You need to watch your mouth.

I don't tolerate rudeness
during the dinner hour.

You got the money?

It's a little short.

$20,000 at most.

That's not what we discussed, gentlemen.

We'll get the rest.

Don't worry about it.

-I've got another girI coming in.
-Another girl?

Si. You know, otro burro.

But getting in isn't easy.

Not for them, and not for my shit.

Especially after 9/1 1 .

So we make a deal.

I get them a work permit
through the modeling agency...

I set up in Fort Lauderdale...

and in return,
they carry something in for me.

Three trips for me...

and they're free
to pursue the American dream.

And everybody wins.

Except for these poor girls
who have their chests butchered.

My method beats
12-year-olds swallowing...

20 rubbers full of rock cocaine
and swimming across the Rio Grande.

We're not gonna operate
on your slaves anymore.

We'll get you your money,
and then we'll be done.

I tell you when you're done.

And know this:

lf you don't do
what I've asked you politely to do...

I'll take this hand
back to Colombia with me.

And then your family will learn
what it means to be hungry.

This fabric is cheap.

It's nylon. Babies piss and shit.

Then find it in basic black,
because I am not wearing orange.

Bad news, folks. Your Burberry pram's
back-ordered for 16 weeks.

Oh, shit, goddamn it!

Have you met the mother of my child?
lsn't she lovely?

It's a mommy thing. I get it.
What are you about, what, six months?

-I'm six months and four days.
-Any kicking yet?

Awesome! I just feIt something.

It's probably just gas
from the three burritos.

I have cravings,
and he doesn't understand.

Tell you what. I'm gonna
sneak you to the top of the list.

-One of my ladies isn't due for six months.
-Really? God, that would be so fantastic.

No problem.

Excuse me.

-Brad? I want to see that crib over there.
-Okay, I'll show you.

Hello.

The flight arrives at 7:00.
Be at your office by 8:00.

Leave the door unlocked.

This is my address,
and you just have everything sent to here.

-Great. I'll go get the color swatches.
-Okay. Thank you.

You gave a clerk your address,
but you won't give it to me?

Grow up, Gina.
We're having a baby. Together.

I have a right to know where you live.

Wrong. You have no rights
untiI you earn them.

And give the guy your credit card.
I'm going next door to Baskin-Robbins.

Okay, that'll be $4,250 plus tax.

Say, Brad, can I take a look
at that order form?

She wants to give you
her cell phone number.

-Okay. Great. It's right there.
-Thanks.

Just put your Jane Hancock
on the "X," Julia.

-What's the petition for?
-To ban the trannie from our Pilates class.

Don't you think that's a little harsh?

Pilates is a sacred gift
we moms give ourselves.

You know, I don't want the pressure
of having to wear makeup...

or shave my legs
for some man in our midst.

Sophia is a woman, and Sean
has assured me that she's into men.

I get The Learning Channel.
I know how they do the operation.

All they do is slice the penis in half like at
a weenie roast and then shove it all inside.

-Suzanne!
-No, let me finish, Julia.

The bottom line is if you've got a dick,
find a coed gym.

Sorry, Suzanne. I'm not signing it.

It's cruel. It's inhumane.

Okay, Julia. Have it your way.

I mean, the truth is, sweetie,
all the other moms in class have signed.

That means I present the petition
to the teacher...

and Sophia Lopez is off to crunch.

Suzanne, wait.

Don't turn in the petition.
Let me talk to her.

Maybe I can save her the embarrassment.

Gently suggest that perhaps
this class isn't a good fit.

Julia, you are so brave.

This is insane! They just call
and expect us to jump? Forget it.

Stall untiI we think up a way
to get out of this.

Drug lords don't have voice mail, Sean.
And this is our way out of this.

One more operation, and we walk away.

He won't call the police.
He's bluffing. We bluff right back.

The last time I called his bluff,
I got a shot of BOTOX in my dick!

Trust me, this guy's dangerous.
We're stuck, and we're doing this.

I said I wanted a Burberry.

It's an additionaI present.

Why didn't you tell me
you live on a houseboat?

Jesus, you make me crazy over
babyproofing bed corners...

and you live on
a goddamn floating deathtrap.

Nobody invited you.

There are rats the size of toddlers
down here at the docks.

There's water everywhere.
He could fall off and drown.

Or she.

-Are you stupid?
-I told you I couldn't do this alone.

You can't do it at all.

Take your shitty stroller
and take your judgments...

and get the hell off my property, asshole.

At least move to a trailer park.

There's lot of drunk, hard up men who'll
sleep with anything. You'd like it there.

Dinner will be ready in 20 minutes.

Where you going?

-Late surgery.
-Who has surgery at this hour?

-Busy patient.
-Well, thanks for the notice, Sean.

lf I knew you wouldn't be here,
I wouldn't have made all this food.

lf I don't go to work, there won't be
any food to put on the table!

Screw it! We're going to McDonald's.

Mom, I know what you're thinking...

that Dad's.... You know.

He told me about the affair.

He'll never do it again.
That's not what's going on.

Your father should
never have told you that.

At least he didn't lie to me, Mom.

Stop protecting him, Matt, and me!

It is so damn inappropriate!
We're your parents, not your pals.

A concept some people in this house
have lost totaI track of.

Do you know
what's going on with him lately?

Nope.

Which is apparently just great,
because according to you...

what happens in this family
is none of my business.

Hey, guys. What's up?

Celebrity surgery.

You know how private
these aging pop singers are.

Liz, you need to leave.

Why, Christian? So you can remove
more implants filled with heroin...

without a proper anesthesiologist?

That's not what we're doing.

Cut the bullshit, Sean. I know what's
going on. I can see the fear in your eyes.

Liz, this is dangerous. Don't do this for us.

I'm not doing it for you, Christian.

I'm doing it for the girls
that monster is using as his mules.

I can't give them back their dignity, but
I can damn well lessen their physicaI pain.

I'm staying.

Change of plans. We've got a big problem.
Get your stuff.

Old school.
Guys, don't you miss the '80s, man?

Yo, what's up? How you doing, man?
Let me give you a tour.

Her fever's easily over 102.
How long has she been like this?

She told Pepe
she was puking on the plane.

lf the implant broke, you're gonna
have to scrape out whatever leaked.

I'm not leaving any of my shit
in this puta 's tits.

What's her name?

Antonia Ramos.

Antonia? Ms. Ramos? You speak English?

Si. Yes.

My name is Dr. Troy.
Would you mind if I take a look?

No.

These aren't symptoms of
a heroin overdose but of sepsis.

She's got an acute bacteriaI infection...

undoubtedly from filthy instruments
used by your South American butchers.

That's good, right?

No. lf it spreads to her heart or lungs,
she could die.

-Can you put her out?
-I'll run an lV, give her Versed.

-She won't remember.
-Let's move her. All right, on three.

Antonia, we're gonna move you, all right?
Two, three, go.

It's okay. We're gonna give you a shot,
Antonia, and you're gonna be all right.

It's okay, sweetie. It won't even sting.
Okay, we're tight.

Okay.

Okay. Here we go.

Ready? Go.

-All right?
-Yeah.

Last one.

Okay, get them.

That stuff's filthy. I could get her infection.

Take it, man. Do it, now. Take it.

-Wait. Where are you going?
-Don't worry, the room's paid for.

This woman is ill and needs to be
given lV antibiotics immediately...

or she could die.
You're responsible for her.

Not anymore.
You guys can keep the girl, man.

Like, you know, consider her a tip.

I know why you asked me here, Julia.

Okay. And how do you feeI about that?

I feeI you should give
Dr. McNamara another chance.

When I first met you, Julia...

I could sense you needed a girlfriend
to talk to, just like I do sometimes.

Sophia, how do you know
about my problems with Sean?

Because I'm friends with Liz.

Dr. McNamara loves you, Julia.

The way he talks about you so admiringly.

He thinks you hung the moon.

I'm sorry.

It's okay, sweetie. Let it out.

No.

It's just that...

I'm so angry with him.

I know. It must feel
like unbearable pain, Julia.

I recognize that. But he's a man...

the most flawed of species.

But, Julia...

look at all of Dr. McNamara's
positive attributes.

Actually, Sophia...

I think he's the one that wants to leave.

He's been almost unrecognizable lately.

Marriage is hard, Julia.

I know. I've been there, and I failed.

When I was a man.

Right.

ls there a problem?

Don't worry, Julia.

lf I let those people bother me,
l'd have slit my wrists years ago.

Well, actually, Sophia...

as well as talking about my marriage...

I also came here because of the women
in our Pilates class. They're....

Curious about me.

They don't want you in the class, Sophia.

But I do.

You're responding well to the Augmentin.

The infection looks like it's subsiding,
Ms. Ramos.

It's true what they say about the States.

Things are better here.

People are better here.

When will I be well enough to travel
to Fort Lauderdale?

I need to meet my agent.

I'm going to be a model, you know.

There is no modeling agency, sweetheart.

We took the information you gave us
to check out the agency.

It's nothing but a post office box...

and an answering service.

You were lied to. About everything.

I don't understand.

There is no work permit
waiting for you here, Antonia.

You're gonna have to leave
once your tourist visa expires.

Leave?

But my family is counting on me.

I can't go back.

They need money.

Please, isn't there something you can do?

We can help you heal, Antonia,
but we can't change the laws.

Hi, Suzanne. You remember Sophia.

Hello, Suzanne.
Don't you just love this class?

It's so harmonious.

Julia, may I have a word with you outside?

That's all right, Suzanne.

Anything you want to say to me,
you can say in front of my friend.

ls there a problem, Suzanne?

No, Sophia. No problem at all.

Can we begin?

I'm sorry. I can't teach a class
with only two people in it.

I've got a 3-person minimum. Sorry.

Yeah, this is good stuff.
Pricey, but worth it.

You live in a high-rise building
with a balcony, got rug rats...

this stuff is a necessity.

What about if you live on a houseboat?

You could block a deck off with it, too.

Actually, I recommend doing that.
She likes to keep the portholes open.

Who? Gina? How would you know?

I delivered some stuff to her yesterday
on the good ship Lollipop.

You're one lucky dude.
Some women just take to pregnancy.

Like I told you, Brad,
pregnant women are not my thing.

I've done way too many
post-delivery tummy tucks.

You're missing the boat, Doc.
Pun intended.

Pregnancy does wonders for
a woman's sex drive. They're insatiable.

You want to know the best time?
39 weeks.

-Why is that, Brad?
-Two reasons.

First, you get to come inside them,
and chemicals in the semen...

help dilate the cervix and bring on labor.
They're desperate for it.

Second, they start expelling breast milk.

You ever taste
the nectar of the gods? Sweet!

Why don't we just order 50 yards
of fencing, and call it a day?

Okay, buddy, but take my word for it.

You liked Gina before she conceived,
you're gonna love her now.

She's a tigress.

Did you screw her?

Well, yeah. She told me about you
guys' situation. I thought we were cool.

You're bragging to me about banging
the mother of my unborn child...

and you think I'm cooI with that?
What kind of sick fetish freak are you?

She told me you weren't together.

What's the difference?
That's my child you're poking at!

I didn't mean to. I swear.

She was just so lonely and beautiful.
You can't see it, but I can!

CanceI my order! Stay away from my kid!

Can we talk?

Sure.

I'm sorry...

for yelling at you yesterday.

Your dad and I are going through
a rough patch. I'm sure it won't--

No, Mom...

I think you're right about Dad.
Something is going on.

Why do you say that?

Because he wrote me a check
to buy some schooI stuff...

and they wouldn't cash it.
The bookstore said it was overdrawn.

Annie, honey, come over here, please.

Go ahead, sweetie. Go to your mommy.

-Who the hell are you?
-Get out of our house.

No need for alarm, guys.
I'm a business associate of Sean's.

I was in the neighborhood, and l--

Get out of my house,
or I'm calling the police.

Lovely house.

That's delicious. What is that?
That's organic?

Tell Sean...

that I stopped by...

and I met his beautifuI family.

Bye, pumpkin.

How many?

lf you want me to quit,
prescribe some Wellbutrin.

Not cigarettes, you dumb slut.

How many dicks have you had
since you became pregnant with my baby?

Just because I have your asshole DNA
inside me, doesn't mean you own me.

When are you gonna realize
this isn't about me and you?

You're carrying a baby.

There's more than one life
depending on the well-being of your body.

You can't just let some sicko
stick his dick inside you right now.

Are you questioning my love for this baby?

Along with the love you apparently
don't have for yourself, yes.

Jesus.

Why are you crying?

I'm crying because I'm 35 years old,
I'm pregnant, and I'm alone!

And I just slept with some pervert...

who wanted to lick my stomach
while I went down on him.

I can't believe you had sex with that guy.

It wasn't about sex, Christian.
It was about....

It was about reassurance.

For just half an hour
I feIt like I wasn't alone in this.

I love this baby so much.

And I know this is probably
my last chance to feeI whole...

to have a purpose, but I cannot do it.

I'm not equipped.

I can't take care of a baby.

What was I thinking?

You can do this, Gina. You just...

can't do it alone.

Pack your things.

Sean, just give me a second here, man.

lf you even look at my family again,
I'll kill you! You understand?

-I will kill you.
-Puto.

Let me cap him, boss.

No. We can't shoot him.
He's the talented one. Get up.

Sit him down.

That was brave, coming into my house,
roughing up my shit.

You're not the pussy I thought you were.

-Escobar.
-What?

We done?

Did I finish?

Where were we?

Why did you threaten my family?

I have done everything
you asked me to do.

Yeah, this is true, Sean.
But I'm going to be asking you to do more.

And frankly, I need to get
the resistance thing out of the way.

And now that you know
that I know where you live...

there won't be any resistance, will there?

You continue to work on my clients,
and I'll let your family live in peace.

I want you to watch something.

Turn around, mami.

Now you watch this, okay,
and you realize...

that if I wanted it...

this could be your wife.

What are you doing?

What does it look like I'm doing?

I don't want you sleeping on the couch.

How about the balcony?

At least I can smoke in peace out there.

You can sleep with me.

You're an expectant mother.
You need the back support.

But no monkey business.

-Better not snore, asshole.
-Right back at you.

What?

I just feIt the baby.

It's kicking.

Really?

What's it feeI like?

We've got a heavyweight champion
in there.

-He's a feisty little guy, isn't he?
-Or a girl.

It's Russo.

What?

My last name.

It's Russo.

Our 2:00 is here.

Miss Gutierrez, tell us
what you don't like about yourself.

My breasts.

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