New Amsterdam (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 13 - The Blues - full transcript
- Previously on New Amsterdam.
- His name was Muhammad.
He asked me to marry him.
- Broke up?
- Brain aneurysm.
I still miss him.
I told you about the songs I'm writing,
well, I'd love to make a demo.
I was wondering if you could...
Give you money?
Don't think it's a good idea.
I have plans with Ella.
- Ella?
- Thanks for introducing us.
I've been taking a little bit
more Adderall than prescribed.
I think that I need to report
an impaired physician.
[SOLEMN PIANO MUSIC]
♪
[COUGHS]
♪
Don't forget to go over the rib.
The vein, the artery,
and the nerve run under, okay?
What you got?
EMS notification,
diabetic coma on the way.
Ooh, sounds interesting.
I thought you had a VIP patient?
Ah, that's after my shift.
I've got time to take one more.
Of course you do.
Allison Medrano, 68-year-old
fishing boat captain
with Type II diabetes.
Rescued by Coast Guard, unconscious.
Finger stick blood sugar, 745.
She's received ten units
sub q times four,
but she's still unresponsive.
Found these in her pocket.
Diabetes meds prescribed by
a Dr. Jessica Medrano.
She's a primary care doctor here.
This could be her mom.
Let's page Max and Dr. Medrano,
and let's get her into Trauma One.
[JAZZY PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]
♪
[SCOFFS]
What are you doing?
Do you see that man?
He's my son.
And you hiding all the way
over here because...
If you believe two people are together
for the wrong reason,
it's your responsibility to...
Oh, no, no. See... no, no, nope, nope.
I'm gonna stop you right there.
See, as a rule, I don't do family drama.
So, if you wanna talk about that,
I recommend you talk to Iggy.
Iggy is busy all day,
and there is no family drama.
Then why are you hiding?
Because I need to see if my son is...
No, no. No family drama, man.
Look, my only advice for you:
stay out of your boy's dating life.
- Hey, you want a coffee, Vijay?
- Ooh.
[MACHINE BEEPING]
Blood PH of 7.19.
Blood sugar still over 700.
Injecting ten more units of insulin.
- Mom.
- Hey.
Can I get some water?
Absolutely. Uh, Casey?
On it.
Ms. Medrano, you're at
New Amsterdam Hospital,
and I will be happy to answer
any questions you might have.
Where's my boat?
Except for that one.
I... I don't know what that means.
She's captain of a fishing boat.
Seriously?
What, you expecting
a peg leg and a parrot?
No, but, uh, that'd be cool.
I just didn't realize there
were any of you left
in New York City.
There's not.
Industry moved on; she didn't.
Huh.
Fishing boat captain in New York City,
that... that's a throwback.
- What an interesting job.
- Mm-hmm.
Excuse me.
He does that sometimes.
Nourishment Consultant,
Media Distribution Officer,
pneumatic tube repair?
What do these people even do?
Aren't you the Medical Director?
Aren't you supposed to know?
- [PHONE RINGS]
- Oh.
Hello.
Has anyone here ever met a Chiropodist?
Of course you haven't,
because they don't exist.
But 100 years ago,
there was a whole department
full of 'em cutting people's toenails.
But the field evolved and Chiropody was
absorbed into Podiatry.
Chiropodists became obsolete.
Why are we talking about Chiropodists?
Because you're firing us?
No.
We're talking about
Chiropodists not just because
it's a really fun word to say,
but because I'm willing to bet
that right here, at New Amsterdam,
there are people here whose jobs
are obsolete, bogus, wasted.
Jobs that aren't really jobs at all.
But just because your job is obsolete,
doesn't mean you are.
- Wait, are you firing us?
- No.
I wanna find people whose
talents are being wasted
and give them meaningful work.
I wanna give them jobs that matter.
Every time a patient walks out our doors,
our people should feel like
they contributed to
that patient's success.
And no... [CHUCKLES]
I am not firing anybody.
Every department is gonna
try this experiment,
just for one day, stop working.
Just sit there, stand there,
don't do anything.
And if nobody misses what you do
or needs you to do something
for one whole day,
then your job may be obsolete.
Clearly not talking about those people.
But if it is you, come to me.
I wanna find you a new job.
A job that inspires you,
a job that makes a difference,
a job that makes you an integral part of
New Amsterdam's mission.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[KEYPAD CLICKING]
Dr. Panthaki?
Dr. Sharpe.
Fancy meeting you here.
Yeah, well, no.
No?
I came here to see a patient,
and I thought I'd stop by and say hi.
I walked by your office,
but they said you were on
the floor, so here I am,
casually bumping into you,
accidentally on purpose.
I see.
I can also accidentally on purpose leave.
No, I'm glad that you decided
to stop by...
Accidentally on purpose.
And would you consider
joining me on an adventure?
An adventure?
It's a small adventure.
Do you like Radiohead?
Yes.
Love them. [LAUGHS]
Then we'll need to be on
a train from Penn Station
in a few hours.
Why? Where are we going?
Philadelphia.
So we'd be staying overnight?
We would be.
You know, yeah, no,
I can't do that right now... with you.
Okay.
I mean, I want to eventually, I'm just...
Helen, I'll make you a bootleg.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Well, I'm still not 100% sure
as to why Ms. Medrano
collapsed on the ship.
Did her blood sugar spike
before or after the fall?
That's the million dollar question.
So, this must be some VIP
for you to drag me
all the way up here.
It is.
So, who's the patient?
You are.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
♪
Yeah... hey, uh, Dora...
Hold on.
I just wanna take in this
momentous occasion.
What occasion?
The day you chased after me.
I wanna remember everything:
what I was wearing,
where I was standing...
You haven't texted me.
- Nope.
- Or paged me.
Did you miss me?
Well, I just figured by now
people would...
People would admit that they
were getting paid to not work?
That's not exactly...
And that they would ask you for work,
when they could just keep on
doing nothing?
That's not really in
the spirit of what I'm trying...
If it was me, no way I'd tell you.
Max...
What's going on with, um, you know?
She's with Iggy.
I think I'm gonna be sick.
You did the right thing.
As a doctor, sure.
But as a friend, I absolutely did not.
You absolutely did,
as a doctor and as a friend.
[SIGHS] All right.
Feel free to sit.
I'm fine.
Okay.
All right.
So, it says here you went to
Whitman College.
Yep.
All the way up in
Walla Walla, Washington, huh?
Did you like it?
Loved it.
Why there?
Well, I guess it's because
I thought that they would
prepare me for a career in
lifesaving medicine.
One which I would love to
get back to right now,
unless you're gonna tell me
what this all about.
Okay.
Somebody reported that you have
a problem with Adderall.
[SCOFFS] Sharpe.
I'm not at liberty to discuss
that with you.
Please.
[SIGHS] So, do you?
Do I what?
Do you have a problem with Adderall?
- No.
- Okay.
Do you have any idea why someone
would suggest that you do?
Look, I spoke to Sharpe about
a personal matter,
a minor personal matter,
and she has blown it way out of
proportion.
Right, well, can you tell me
about the personal matter?
No.
Why not?
Because it's personal.
And because quite frankly,
this whole ambush
is unbelievably insulting,
and I'm done pretending like it isn't.
I wouldn't do that.
I have been empowered by
the hospital to determine
if you've been operating
as an impaired physician.
[SCOFFS]
And if you have a problem with Adderall,
I will tell Max and he'll
report it to the medical board.
So, what, if I leave, I'm suspended?
No, if you leave, you're fired.
- Dr. Reynolds.
- Dr. Goodwin.
- I need a consult.
- What's the case?
Allison Medrano, let's just call
her a "non-compliant diabetic."
Hemoglobin A1C off the chart?
Yeah, and I wanna make sure
her collapse wasn't due to
a silent heart attack.
Okay, I'll stop by after the rounds.
- Thank you.
- Oh, by the way,
heard about your speech this morning.
You got someone for me
in your department?
No, everyone in
my department's on overdrive.
But did you know there's a guy
in the basement
- who still prints X-rays?
- X-rays...
went digital a decade ago.
Well, that's why you should check on him.
Hello?
Need an X-ray?
Does that thing still work?
What, the XR-180? Oh, yeah.
And I like to keep it
nice and shiny, just in case.
When was the last time someone ordered
an old-fashioned X-ray from you?
Uh, 2008... give or take.
So, you just been down here since 2008?
Doing what?
- Am I about to get fired?
- Do you like your job?
Um, I used to.
I loved it, actually.
Everybody needed me.
Docs used to say nobody handled
radiograph paper better than I did.
I'm Max Goodwin,
I'm the Medical Director here.
Aw, nuts. I am gonna get fired.
No, no, I'd liked to find you a new job.
A job that makes you feel needed again.
Would you be interested?
It's like you can see right through me.
[LAUGHS]
- It's an X-ray joke.
- X-ray joke.
It's great. So what do you say?
You know, with technology
being what it is
and me being as old as I am,
I think I'm just gonna
ride it out until retirement.
I mean,
if you're not firing me.
Rohan.
Pappa.
You came all the way down here
and won't say nothing to your father?
I didn't wanna bother you.
Bother? No, no.
I wanna apologize to you, beta.
For what?
I know I've hurt your feelings before,
when I refused to support your music.
I should have been
more supportive of you.
That doesn't mean that you use
Ella to get back at me.
What?
Yeah, she doesn't need to be dragged into
our family business.
Is that what you think is going on?
That I'm using her?
I am trying to protect her.
Excuse me.
I'm hanging out with Ella
because I actually like her,
not that it's any of your business.
I think you are misunderstanding me.
No, I'm understanding you just fine.
And I know it's hard for you
to comprehend, Pappa,
but the reason I could stay
sober for a year
was that I didn't have to deal with this.
I...
[SIGHS]
I didn't have to deal with you.
[MELANCHOLY PIANO MUSIC]
♪
Jessica, you should move back
to Sheepshead Bay.
Mom, I'd love to, but my job is here.
You know, most parents would be
proud their kid's a doctor.
Well, there's something
to be said about tradition.
Our family has a tradition...
Of diabetes, heart disease,
and lung cancer.
People gotta die of something.
Allison Medrano,
I need you to get back inside.
Who the hell are you?
- Your doctor.
- Since when?
Well, since you had to be
evaluated for heart disease.
- Dr. Medrano.
- Dr. Reynolds,
thank you for taking care of my mom.
I don't need taking care of.
We're gonna do a full work-up,
but I need you to get back
inside first, all right?
Yeah, yeah.
- Mom.
- Jeez...
[COUGHING]
Mom!
Hold on. Hold on.
I need a stretcher out here!
Okay.
[SCOFFS]
You get what's ironic about this.
No. Help me out.
I have a prescription for Adderall.
I mean, the risk would be
in me not taking my medication.
You know, I'd be, like, mid-appendectomy
getting distracted by how the appendix
looks like a giant shrimp.
So, you find it ironic
that you've been placed
in jeopardy by a tool that
helps you succeed?
No. No, I find it ironic
that I'm being persecuted by
a psychiatrist for taking a medication
prescribed by a psychiatrist.
That was harsh; I know
you're not persecuting me.
It's okay. It's fine.
It's just...
I've got ADHD.
I've taken Adderall,
as prescribed, since I was 12.
It's a non-issue.
Yeah.
And you've never taken more
than your prescribed dose?
I'm sure I have doubled up
by accident, okay?
Double shifts, the days,
they can just run in together.
But you've never taken it
just to, you know,
just to get through the day?
No.
Hard no.
You sure about that?
You can't run an ED
propped up on pills, okay?
It's unethical and I wouldn't do it.
So, your drug use has never
led to the harm of a patient?
Oh, you know what? I've killed thousands.
I just... I get high and I start
stabbing people
with my scalpel.
This isn't personal, Bloom.
I'm not trying to insult you.
You're asking me if I've ever
risked a patient's life
because I'm stoned.
Yeah, and you haven't
answered the question.
Because if I had,
we wouldn't be here right now.
I would have turned in my license, okay?
[SIGHS]
No, I have never harmed
a patient because of Adderall.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Do you remember LaDavius Powell?
LaDavius Powell? That ring a bell?
It's a patient of yours that came in,
allergic to Cephilicam.
You prescribed it anyway.
If your nurse hadn't have
caught the mistake...
No, that's not the whole story, so...
No?
[CLOCK TICKING]
[SIGHS]
Earlier you assumed
that it was one single doctor
that voiced concern. That's not the case.
Multiple people have complained
that you're having problems.
You're making mistakes on
your patient reports.
Your reaction time has slipped.
Your behavior has been erratic.
And this mistake you made
with LaDavius Powell could have
very easily cost him his life.
And now you've sat there
and looked me in the eyes,
and you've lied to me about it.
What part of the story am I missing?
What have I got wrong?
You said, in your own words,
if your drug use ever led to
the harm of a patient,
you would turn in your license.
So what are you waiting for?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
♪
Dr. Hayek to pediatrics.
Dr. Hayek to pediatrics.
It's okay. I've got this.
[WHISPERS] Right.
[WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY]
Oh, boy, she was smoking,
collapsed with a blood sugar of over 700.
It took 100 units of insulin
to bring her back.
So, it's the high blood sugar.
Well, we still don't know
why it keeps spiking.
What if it's the smoking?
Yeah, smoking's bad for you.
What if she has a carcinoid tumor
that's being stimulated by nicotine?
Just now when she collapsed,
she was smoking.
On the boat when she collapsed,
she was smoking.
What if the nicotine from
the cigarettes is
squeezing the tumor, making it kick out
huge amounts of glucagon,
and that is what is driving
the blood sugar through the roof?
Well, I did a CT on Al's abdomen
and her chest and no tumor.
But all of her symptoms point to it.
Except it's not there.
So do exploratory surgery and find it.
Who does exploratory surgery anymore?
We do when we know something's wrong.
Mr. Harris...
Uh, you're from
the Med Co-Op Group, right?
Actually, I'm just... uh,
I've been here for nine years.
I kept you waiting that long?
No. I heard your speech today.
I think I've got one of those
obsolete jobs.
So, uh, what's your job?
- To sit there.
- Ah.
Before the arm showed up,
I sat in a booth and checked badges.
I was the guy you said good morning to,
asked about the traffic
down from Westchester.
Always packed on the FDR,
no matter what time of day.
But go down 2nd Ave before
7:00 a.m., not so bad.
Good to know.
But since the arm,
people don't even notice me.
And I wanna do more than
just sit in a chair all day.
I know I can do more.
See, you're exactly who I'm looking for.
Uh... Oh, Dr. Goodwin...
No, you are the reason
I started this search.
- Dr. Goodwin.
- Yeah?
- You're in her way.
- Oh, sorry.
So what's my new job gonna be?
I have no idea.
So now what?
Well, now I'd like to hear
about your life before
your Adderall use began.
Are you seriously asking me
to talk about my childhood?
Or I could just file my report right now.
Fine.
[SIGHS]
Well, my mom was a disaster,
my sister, worse,
and my dad was a saint.
There ya go.
There you go.
Okay, well, how was your mom a disaster?
[GRUNTS]
She was an alcoholic.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, well,
boo-hoo, right?
She was, uh...
She was a part of this... this tacky
nouveau riche Upper East Side crowd.
Everybody knew she drank.
But it didn't matter,
'cause Jeanie was so fun.
Her parties were fabulous.
Yeah, but then the party ended, right?
Yeah.
That it did.
Then she'd start complaining...
About how Mr. Benson
wouldn't flirt with her,
or the Dover sole was dry,
always something.
And she'd get mean.
- Was there physical abuse?
- No.
Would she get sick after she drank?
Yeah?
Who'd take her to bed? Who'd clean up?
That'd be me.
What about your sister, she help?
I didn't need help.
Someone had to clean her up,
so I cleaned her up.
How old were you
the first time that happened?
I don't know.
Ballpark.
- Seven, maybe.
- Wow.
You've been taking care of
people long before
you became an ED doctor, huh?
Yeah.
Well, that's the silver lining of having
Hurricane Jeanie for a mom.
You learn how to be good in a crisis.
Yeah, I bet.
Sounds like your dad left you
in quite a tricky situation.
I didn't say that.
No?
You didn't say much about him at all.
My dad... my dad took
a two-bit dermatology practice
and he turned it into
a million dollar business.
That's amazing.
Yeah, he was gone a lot,
but when I called, he always answered.
Every time.
So, uh, you can dial back
the Freudian horse-crap, okay?
There's nothing Freudian about saying
that he neglected you.
He was amazing dad.
He wasn't the alcoholic.
He wasn't the one pissing on the carpet.
He wasn't the one vomiting on himself.
No, he was the one who left
a second-grader alone
to deal with it.
Because he knew what you already told me:
someone always has to clean it up.
You just described him as
an emotionally-closed off
workaholic who was in
complete denial that
his personal life was on fire.
Who does that sound like?
[SOMBER MUSIC]
♪
- Dr. Goodwin.
- Yeah?
I've been emailing the powers
that be at New Amsterdamear.
About my useless job for years.
And nothing, no response.
I don't even feel bad about
taking a paycheck
for doing nothing anymore,
but you should know that
because I tried to contact someone,
New Amsterdam legally
can't take that money back.
I wouldn't even try,
but what's your obsolete job?
- Tech.
- Cool.
- In the accounting department.
- Ah.
Whenever FlashPay has any
kind of software update,
it's my job to install it on
every single computer
throughout the whole hospital.
That sounds like a very important job.
It was five years ago,
when New Amsterdam still used FlashPay.
Now only one person in
the whole hospital uses it.
Who's that?
Me, when I update it on
all the computers.
- I'll find you a new job.
- Great.
- So, what'll that be?
- No idea.
Systolic 140; pulse ox 97.
- Popcorn on a stick.
- Lap sponge.
[TENSE MUSIC]
Wet wrap the whole tip.
You see anything?
Nothing.
We visualized the entire abdomen.
Yeah.
I can't believe we let
Dr. Goodwin talk us into this.
He thought a carcinoid tumor
fit all her symptoms.
Well, he was wrong.
Fresh ESU pencil on the tray.
I'm gonna run the bowel.
- All 23 feet of it?
- Yep.
[SCOFFS]
Then you're crazier than he is.
♪
- Hey, man of the hour.
- I...
Your son is the sweetest,
We have been having the best time.
We're gonna go to Battery Park tonight.
Yes...
About Rohan...
It appears I may have hurt
my son's feelings this morning.
Oh.
Unintentionally, of course,
but I wanted to clear things up
before you heard his side of the story.
There are sides?
Not exactly, it's just I was
looking out for you, you see?
Uh trying to... protect you.
Why would I need protecting?
I was concerned that my son
had taken an interest in you
simply to... to hurt me.
Why would you think that?
Because of a disagreement we had.
Or because you don't think
your son could be interested in
someone like me?
Oh, well, no, I... I just...
Because you actually thought
the only reason Rohan
would ever be interested in me
is if he was using me to get back at you?
No, that's not what I meant.
Well, you must have meant it
on some level
or you wouldn't have said it.
I fear there has been
a profound misunderstanding here...
No, I think I heard you loud and clear.
Hi, welcome to Pain de Vie. Excuse me.
Hi, um, I'll get a small latte.
- Sure, is whole milk okay?
- Yeah.
And can I get two muffins?
You know this is why no one
likes therapists.
You're taking my life and you're...
You're twisting it around.
Okay, well, then help me out.
Tell me a different story.
Help me understand.
All right, how 'bout this?
Dad saved himself from
an impossible situation.
No, he was not perfect,
but I never doubted that he loved me.
So you can come at me all day,
but I'm not blaming him for my mistakes.
I'm not blaming him for
your mistakes, either.
He did the best he could
for as long as he could.
Did you hear me? I'm not
blaming him for your mistakes.
Okay, so why the hell are we
still talking about this?
Because you went to Whitman College
in Walla Walla, Washington.
You literally could have gone
anywhere else,
but you went all the way
across the country.
Family psychological histories
are a lot like genetic ones,
and you have the gene for running.
So I'm asking you...
What are you running from?
[SNIFFLES]
You're right. I'm like my dad.
We both ran.
And yeah, he was running from my mom.
But I am not running from,
I am running to.
I'm an ED doctor.
I run to crisis.
I mean, I run to help people.
And yeah, you know what?
My childhood, it sucked.
But it made me who I am.
And this hospital is lucky to have me.
[SNIFFLES]
- Okay.
Thank you for that.
[SIGHS]
Do you think you can get
your Adderall under control?
Yes.
And do you think that practicing medicine
is the best thing for your recovery?
I know it is.
[SNIFFLES]
Okay then.
Get back out there.
You're clear.
Go show 'em how it's done.
[SNIFFLES]
[SOLEMN MUSIC]
♪
[DISTORTED VOICE] Lauren?
♪
[DISTORTED VOICE] Lauren.
I didn't know what else to do.
No problem.
I was cleared.
Clevidipine infusion rate:
1 milligram per hour.
Balfour retractor standing by.
She is so stubborn.
Show me a kid who doesn't think
their parents are stubborn.
She's overweight, diabetic,
and spends most of her time
chain-smoking, eating
fried foods, and drinking.
And she has no intention
of ever changing.
That's problematic.
That's a recipe for disaster.
I'm the only one telling her to stop.
The rest of her buddies
out in Sheepshead Bay,
they all have the same bad habits.
Maybe they all need a little attention.
They need a swift kick in the pants.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
You know, I got out there often as I can,
prescribe them what they need,
but it's just...
[SIGHS] It's not enough.
Found it.
Yeah, I can feel an abnormal
nodule right here.
I'm gonna cut it out,
send it to pathology.
Is it crazy I'm happy
Dr. Reynolds found a tumor
in my mom's bowel?
No, you're not crazy.
Come with me, you gave me an idea.
[UPBEAT PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]
♪
- Thank you all for coming.
- He is canning us.
Hmm?
It's just like that scene in "Goodfellas"
when they tell Joe Pesci
he's gonna get made
and he's all excited and dressed up,
and then he goes in the room, and whack!
- They whack him.
- I am not whacking you.
I'm hiring you, all of you.
We're opening a new clinic
in Sheepshead Bay.
And since you're all on payroll already,
this will actually be the first
profitable thing I've done.
Sheepshead Bay?
New Amsterdam runs satellite clinics
all over the city,
but we've neglected this part
of Brooklyn and the people
who live there,
and that ends today with your help.
Sounds great, but I'm kinda over
the parking attendant thing.
Good, because you'll be
running our reception area.
Greeting people,
making sure they feel at ease.
That I can do.
Anna, you'll be installing
our new computer systems.
- Linux or DOS?
- No idea.
And Jessica, you'll be
caring for the community
who raised you and who needs you now.
Thank you, Max.
Hello? I hope I'm not too late.
Everyone, meet our new
radiology department.
♪
[GAGGING AND CRYING]
You're gonna need the suture kit.
- Yeah.
- [COUGHING]
[DISTORTED DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[SLOW AND DISTORTED COUGHING]
♪
[CRYING]
[MUSIC INTENSIFYING]
♪
[COUGHING]
♪
[DOOR CLICKS OPEN]
Ask me again.
What are you running from?
[INHALES SHARPLY]
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
[SHAKY BREATH]
I told my mom that I was going to NYU.
That I'd be here in town, close by.
Dad had died the year before,
and things had gotten...
I didn't even tell her that
I applied to Whitman.
I didn't tell Vanessa, my sister.
And I knew...
I knew that they wouldn't be
okay without me.
I mean, I protected Vanessa.
She thought I was a rock star.
But she was 12...
I mean, I couldn't... I couldn't
take her with me.
I wanted to,
but I knew if I didn't go...
Then I was never gonna get out.
[SNIFFLES]
One night, I... I tucked her up in bed...
And I left.
I, um...
I left my little sister.
[SNIFFLES]
She's in rehab now, again.
Fourth time.
That is not on you.
I could have saved her, you know?
I mean, I could have saved my mom.
You were a kid, that is not your job.
Then whose was it?
I mean, I was all they had,
and then I just... I just left.
Listen to me.
There are people all over the world
with families just like yours.
All over the world.
And many of them, most of them,
they never get out.
You saved the only person
that you could save.
You did not fail.
What you did was an act of
incredible strength.
I don't feel strong.
You only have to be strong
enough to do one more thing.
[INHALES SHARPLY]
I need help.
Okay.
We can do that.
Okay?
Were you, uh,
were you really clearing me
to go back to work?
And let a drug addict loose in the ED?
God, no.
- [LAUGHS]
- You kidding me?
[SOBS]
♪ Throw away your things ♪
♪ When this is over ♪
♪
♪ Oh, when the ice ♪
♪ Is melted away ♪
♪
♪ And the hunger returns ♪
♪ I will be the same ♪
Hey.
Hey.
I wasn't expecting to see you.
Because I cut you off at the knees?
I came on too strong.
It's a personality defect.
No, you didn't, and it's not.
It was spontaneous and fun
and completely lovely.
And that's what made it
utterly terrifying for me.
I haven't wanted to take
a chance on something...
um, on someone in a really long time.
I mean, I used to be
a person who took chances,
and I really wanna be that person again.
You don't have to explain.
No, I want to.
You make me want to.
I... I have baggage.
And it comes with me wherever I go.
And to be honest, I'm so tired
of dragging it around with me.
Is that an overnight bag?
Yes.
I have literally brought
my baggage with me.
[LAUGHS]
But only 'cause there's
a Radiohead concert in Philadelphia.
Any interest in going with me?
♪ - I took it for love ♪
♪ Or at least something beautiful ♪
[CHUCKLES]
Of all the windows in all the
hallways in this hospital,
you had to stand in front of mine.
Get your own window.
I needed your advice today, my friend,
but you were busy.
Yeah, I mean, that happens sometimes.
As a result, I managed to lose
my only friend
and my only son.
I'm sure it's not that bad.
It is that bad.
Oh.
Okay, sorry.
So what do I do now?
Iggy, I need you to help me.
Okay.
[SOBBING]
♪ Where have you been ♪
♪ And what have you done ♪
♪
How's the VIP?
[SCOFFS]
Not feeling very important.
Well, you are,
to me, to everyone.
It's gonna be hard,
but... when you make it...
Your job's gonna be right here
waiting for you.
My job means everything to me, Max.
I know the feeling.
♪
♪ Moving pictures ♪
♪ In silent films ♪
♪
- His name was Muhammad.
He asked me to marry him.
- Broke up?
- Brain aneurysm.
I still miss him.
I told you about the songs I'm writing,
well, I'd love to make a demo.
I was wondering if you could...
Give you money?
Don't think it's a good idea.
I have plans with Ella.
- Ella?
- Thanks for introducing us.
I've been taking a little bit
more Adderall than prescribed.
I think that I need to report
an impaired physician.
[SOLEMN PIANO MUSIC]
♪
[COUGHS]
♪
Don't forget to go over the rib.
The vein, the artery,
and the nerve run under, okay?
What you got?
EMS notification,
diabetic coma on the way.
Ooh, sounds interesting.
I thought you had a VIP patient?
Ah, that's after my shift.
I've got time to take one more.
Of course you do.
Allison Medrano, 68-year-old
fishing boat captain
with Type II diabetes.
Rescued by Coast Guard, unconscious.
Finger stick blood sugar, 745.
She's received ten units
sub q times four,
but she's still unresponsive.
Found these in her pocket.
Diabetes meds prescribed by
a Dr. Jessica Medrano.
She's a primary care doctor here.
This could be her mom.
Let's page Max and Dr. Medrano,
and let's get her into Trauma One.
[JAZZY PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]
♪
[SCOFFS]
What are you doing?
Do you see that man?
He's my son.
And you hiding all the way
over here because...
If you believe two people are together
for the wrong reason,
it's your responsibility to...
Oh, no, no. See... no, no, nope, nope.
I'm gonna stop you right there.
See, as a rule, I don't do family drama.
So, if you wanna talk about that,
I recommend you talk to Iggy.
Iggy is busy all day,
and there is no family drama.
Then why are you hiding?
Because I need to see if my son is...
No, no. No family drama, man.
Look, my only advice for you:
stay out of your boy's dating life.
- Hey, you want a coffee, Vijay?
- Ooh.
[MACHINE BEEPING]
Blood PH of 7.19.
Blood sugar still over 700.
Injecting ten more units of insulin.
- Mom.
- Hey.
Can I get some water?
Absolutely. Uh, Casey?
On it.
Ms. Medrano, you're at
New Amsterdam Hospital,
and I will be happy to answer
any questions you might have.
Where's my boat?
Except for that one.
I... I don't know what that means.
She's captain of a fishing boat.
Seriously?
What, you expecting
a peg leg and a parrot?
No, but, uh, that'd be cool.
I just didn't realize there
were any of you left
in New York City.
There's not.
Industry moved on; she didn't.
Huh.
Fishing boat captain in New York City,
that... that's a throwback.
- What an interesting job.
- Mm-hmm.
Excuse me.
He does that sometimes.
Nourishment Consultant,
Media Distribution Officer,
pneumatic tube repair?
What do these people even do?
Aren't you the Medical Director?
Aren't you supposed to know?
- [PHONE RINGS]
- Oh.
Hello.
Has anyone here ever met a Chiropodist?
Of course you haven't,
because they don't exist.
But 100 years ago,
there was a whole department
full of 'em cutting people's toenails.
But the field evolved and Chiropody was
absorbed into Podiatry.
Chiropodists became obsolete.
Why are we talking about Chiropodists?
Because you're firing us?
No.
We're talking about
Chiropodists not just because
it's a really fun word to say,
but because I'm willing to bet
that right here, at New Amsterdam,
there are people here whose jobs
are obsolete, bogus, wasted.
Jobs that aren't really jobs at all.
But just because your job is obsolete,
doesn't mean you are.
- Wait, are you firing us?
- No.
I wanna find people whose
talents are being wasted
and give them meaningful work.
I wanna give them jobs that matter.
Every time a patient walks out our doors,
our people should feel like
they contributed to
that patient's success.
And no... [CHUCKLES]
I am not firing anybody.
Every department is gonna
try this experiment,
just for one day, stop working.
Just sit there, stand there,
don't do anything.
And if nobody misses what you do
or needs you to do something
for one whole day,
then your job may be obsolete.
Clearly not talking about those people.
But if it is you, come to me.
I wanna find you a new job.
A job that inspires you,
a job that makes a difference,
a job that makes you an integral part of
New Amsterdam's mission.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[KEYPAD CLICKING]
Dr. Panthaki?
Dr. Sharpe.
Fancy meeting you here.
Yeah, well, no.
No?
I came here to see a patient,
and I thought I'd stop by and say hi.
I walked by your office,
but they said you were on
the floor, so here I am,
casually bumping into you,
accidentally on purpose.
I see.
I can also accidentally on purpose leave.
No, I'm glad that you decided
to stop by...
Accidentally on purpose.
And would you consider
joining me on an adventure?
An adventure?
It's a small adventure.
Do you like Radiohead?
Yes.
Love them. [LAUGHS]
Then we'll need to be on
a train from Penn Station
in a few hours.
Why? Where are we going?
Philadelphia.
So we'd be staying overnight?
We would be.
You know, yeah, no,
I can't do that right now... with you.
Okay.
I mean, I want to eventually, I'm just...
Helen, I'll make you a bootleg.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Well, I'm still not 100% sure
as to why Ms. Medrano
collapsed on the ship.
Did her blood sugar spike
before or after the fall?
That's the million dollar question.
So, this must be some VIP
for you to drag me
all the way up here.
It is.
So, who's the patient?
You are.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
♪
Yeah... hey, uh, Dora...
Hold on.
I just wanna take in this
momentous occasion.
What occasion?
The day you chased after me.
I wanna remember everything:
what I was wearing,
where I was standing...
You haven't texted me.
- Nope.
- Or paged me.
Did you miss me?
Well, I just figured by now
people would...
People would admit that they
were getting paid to not work?
That's not exactly...
And that they would ask you for work,
when they could just keep on
doing nothing?
That's not really in
the spirit of what I'm trying...
If it was me, no way I'd tell you.
Max...
What's going on with, um, you know?
She's with Iggy.
I think I'm gonna be sick.
You did the right thing.
As a doctor, sure.
But as a friend, I absolutely did not.
You absolutely did,
as a doctor and as a friend.
[SIGHS] All right.
Feel free to sit.
I'm fine.
Okay.
All right.
So, it says here you went to
Whitman College.
Yep.
All the way up in
Walla Walla, Washington, huh?
Did you like it?
Loved it.
Why there?
Well, I guess it's because
I thought that they would
prepare me for a career in
lifesaving medicine.
One which I would love to
get back to right now,
unless you're gonna tell me
what this all about.
Okay.
Somebody reported that you have
a problem with Adderall.
[SCOFFS] Sharpe.
I'm not at liberty to discuss
that with you.
Please.
[SIGHS] So, do you?
Do I what?
Do you have a problem with Adderall?
- No.
- Okay.
Do you have any idea why someone
would suggest that you do?
Look, I spoke to Sharpe about
a personal matter,
a minor personal matter,
and she has blown it way out of
proportion.
Right, well, can you tell me
about the personal matter?
No.
Why not?
Because it's personal.
And because quite frankly,
this whole ambush
is unbelievably insulting,
and I'm done pretending like it isn't.
I wouldn't do that.
I have been empowered by
the hospital to determine
if you've been operating
as an impaired physician.
[SCOFFS]
And if you have a problem with Adderall,
I will tell Max and he'll
report it to the medical board.
So, what, if I leave, I'm suspended?
No, if you leave, you're fired.
- Dr. Reynolds.
- Dr. Goodwin.
- I need a consult.
- What's the case?
Allison Medrano, let's just call
her a "non-compliant diabetic."
Hemoglobin A1C off the chart?
Yeah, and I wanna make sure
her collapse wasn't due to
a silent heart attack.
Okay, I'll stop by after the rounds.
- Thank you.
- Oh, by the way,
heard about your speech this morning.
You got someone for me
in your department?
No, everyone in
my department's on overdrive.
But did you know there's a guy
in the basement
- who still prints X-rays?
- X-rays...
went digital a decade ago.
Well, that's why you should check on him.
Hello?
Need an X-ray?
Does that thing still work?
What, the XR-180? Oh, yeah.
And I like to keep it
nice and shiny, just in case.
When was the last time someone ordered
an old-fashioned X-ray from you?
Uh, 2008... give or take.
So, you just been down here since 2008?
Doing what?
- Am I about to get fired?
- Do you like your job?
Um, I used to.
I loved it, actually.
Everybody needed me.
Docs used to say nobody handled
radiograph paper better than I did.
I'm Max Goodwin,
I'm the Medical Director here.
Aw, nuts. I am gonna get fired.
No, no, I'd liked to find you a new job.
A job that makes you feel needed again.
Would you be interested?
It's like you can see right through me.
[LAUGHS]
- It's an X-ray joke.
- X-ray joke.
It's great. So what do you say?
You know, with technology
being what it is
and me being as old as I am,
I think I'm just gonna
ride it out until retirement.
I mean,
if you're not firing me.
Rohan.
Pappa.
You came all the way down here
and won't say nothing to your father?
I didn't wanna bother you.
Bother? No, no.
I wanna apologize to you, beta.
For what?
I know I've hurt your feelings before,
when I refused to support your music.
I should have been
more supportive of you.
That doesn't mean that you use
Ella to get back at me.
What?
Yeah, she doesn't need to be dragged into
our family business.
Is that what you think is going on?
That I'm using her?
I am trying to protect her.
Excuse me.
I'm hanging out with Ella
because I actually like her,
not that it's any of your business.
I think you are misunderstanding me.
No, I'm understanding you just fine.
And I know it's hard for you
to comprehend, Pappa,
but the reason I could stay
sober for a year
was that I didn't have to deal with this.
I...
[SIGHS]
I didn't have to deal with you.
[MELANCHOLY PIANO MUSIC]
♪
Jessica, you should move back
to Sheepshead Bay.
Mom, I'd love to, but my job is here.
You know, most parents would be
proud their kid's a doctor.
Well, there's something
to be said about tradition.
Our family has a tradition...
Of diabetes, heart disease,
and lung cancer.
People gotta die of something.
Allison Medrano,
I need you to get back inside.
Who the hell are you?
- Your doctor.
- Since when?
Well, since you had to be
evaluated for heart disease.
- Dr. Medrano.
- Dr. Reynolds,
thank you for taking care of my mom.
I don't need taking care of.
We're gonna do a full work-up,
but I need you to get back
inside first, all right?
Yeah, yeah.
- Mom.
- Jeez...
[COUGHING]
Mom!
Hold on. Hold on.
I need a stretcher out here!
Okay.
[SCOFFS]
You get what's ironic about this.
No. Help me out.
I have a prescription for Adderall.
I mean, the risk would be
in me not taking my medication.
You know, I'd be, like, mid-appendectomy
getting distracted by how the appendix
looks like a giant shrimp.
So, you find it ironic
that you've been placed
in jeopardy by a tool that
helps you succeed?
No. No, I find it ironic
that I'm being persecuted by
a psychiatrist for taking a medication
prescribed by a psychiatrist.
That was harsh; I know
you're not persecuting me.
It's okay. It's fine.
It's just...
I've got ADHD.
I've taken Adderall,
as prescribed, since I was 12.
It's a non-issue.
Yeah.
And you've never taken more
than your prescribed dose?
I'm sure I have doubled up
by accident, okay?
Double shifts, the days,
they can just run in together.
But you've never taken it
just to, you know,
just to get through the day?
No.
Hard no.
You sure about that?
You can't run an ED
propped up on pills, okay?
It's unethical and I wouldn't do it.
So, your drug use has never
led to the harm of a patient?
Oh, you know what? I've killed thousands.
I just... I get high and I start
stabbing people
with my scalpel.
This isn't personal, Bloom.
I'm not trying to insult you.
You're asking me if I've ever
risked a patient's life
because I'm stoned.
Yeah, and you haven't
answered the question.
Because if I had,
we wouldn't be here right now.
I would have turned in my license, okay?
[SIGHS]
No, I have never harmed
a patient because of Adderall.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Do you remember LaDavius Powell?
LaDavius Powell? That ring a bell?
It's a patient of yours that came in,
allergic to Cephilicam.
You prescribed it anyway.
If your nurse hadn't have
caught the mistake...
No, that's not the whole story, so...
No?
[CLOCK TICKING]
[SIGHS]
Earlier you assumed
that it was one single doctor
that voiced concern. That's not the case.
Multiple people have complained
that you're having problems.
You're making mistakes on
your patient reports.
Your reaction time has slipped.
Your behavior has been erratic.
And this mistake you made
with LaDavius Powell could have
very easily cost him his life.
And now you've sat there
and looked me in the eyes,
and you've lied to me about it.
What part of the story am I missing?
What have I got wrong?
You said, in your own words,
if your drug use ever led to
the harm of a patient,
you would turn in your license.
So what are you waiting for?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
♪
Dr. Hayek to pediatrics.
Dr. Hayek to pediatrics.
It's okay. I've got this.
[WHISPERS] Right.
[WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY]
Oh, boy, she was smoking,
collapsed with a blood sugar of over 700.
It took 100 units of insulin
to bring her back.
So, it's the high blood sugar.
Well, we still don't know
why it keeps spiking.
What if it's the smoking?
Yeah, smoking's bad for you.
What if she has a carcinoid tumor
that's being stimulated by nicotine?
Just now when she collapsed,
she was smoking.
On the boat when she collapsed,
she was smoking.
What if the nicotine from
the cigarettes is
squeezing the tumor, making it kick out
huge amounts of glucagon,
and that is what is driving
the blood sugar through the roof?
Well, I did a CT on Al's abdomen
and her chest and no tumor.
But all of her symptoms point to it.
Except it's not there.
So do exploratory surgery and find it.
Who does exploratory surgery anymore?
We do when we know something's wrong.
Mr. Harris...
Uh, you're from
the Med Co-Op Group, right?
Actually, I'm just... uh,
I've been here for nine years.
I kept you waiting that long?
No. I heard your speech today.
I think I've got one of those
obsolete jobs.
So, uh, what's your job?
- To sit there.
- Ah.
Before the arm showed up,
I sat in a booth and checked badges.
I was the guy you said good morning to,
asked about the traffic
down from Westchester.
Always packed on the FDR,
no matter what time of day.
But go down 2nd Ave before
7:00 a.m., not so bad.
Good to know.
But since the arm,
people don't even notice me.
And I wanna do more than
just sit in a chair all day.
I know I can do more.
See, you're exactly who I'm looking for.
Uh... Oh, Dr. Goodwin...
No, you are the reason
I started this search.
- Dr. Goodwin.
- Yeah?
- You're in her way.
- Oh, sorry.
So what's my new job gonna be?
I have no idea.
So now what?
Well, now I'd like to hear
about your life before
your Adderall use began.
Are you seriously asking me
to talk about my childhood?
Or I could just file my report right now.
Fine.
[SIGHS]
Well, my mom was a disaster,
my sister, worse,
and my dad was a saint.
There ya go.
There you go.
Okay, well, how was your mom a disaster?
[GRUNTS]
She was an alcoholic.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, well,
boo-hoo, right?
She was, uh...
She was a part of this... this tacky
nouveau riche Upper East Side crowd.
Everybody knew she drank.
But it didn't matter,
'cause Jeanie was so fun.
Her parties were fabulous.
Yeah, but then the party ended, right?
Yeah.
That it did.
Then she'd start complaining...
About how Mr. Benson
wouldn't flirt with her,
or the Dover sole was dry,
always something.
And she'd get mean.
- Was there physical abuse?
- No.
Would she get sick after she drank?
Yeah?
Who'd take her to bed? Who'd clean up?
That'd be me.
What about your sister, she help?
I didn't need help.
Someone had to clean her up,
so I cleaned her up.
How old were you
the first time that happened?
I don't know.
Ballpark.
- Seven, maybe.
- Wow.
You've been taking care of
people long before
you became an ED doctor, huh?
Yeah.
Well, that's the silver lining of having
Hurricane Jeanie for a mom.
You learn how to be good in a crisis.
Yeah, I bet.
Sounds like your dad left you
in quite a tricky situation.
I didn't say that.
No?
You didn't say much about him at all.
My dad... my dad took
a two-bit dermatology practice
and he turned it into
a million dollar business.
That's amazing.
Yeah, he was gone a lot,
but when I called, he always answered.
Every time.
So, uh, you can dial back
the Freudian horse-crap, okay?
There's nothing Freudian about saying
that he neglected you.
He was amazing dad.
He wasn't the alcoholic.
He wasn't the one pissing on the carpet.
He wasn't the one vomiting on himself.
No, he was the one who left
a second-grader alone
to deal with it.
Because he knew what you already told me:
someone always has to clean it up.
You just described him as
an emotionally-closed off
workaholic who was in
complete denial that
his personal life was on fire.
Who does that sound like?
[SOMBER MUSIC]
♪
- Dr. Goodwin.
- Yeah?
I've been emailing the powers
that be at New Amsterdamear.
About my useless job for years.
And nothing, no response.
I don't even feel bad about
taking a paycheck
for doing nothing anymore,
but you should know that
because I tried to contact someone,
New Amsterdam legally
can't take that money back.
I wouldn't even try,
but what's your obsolete job?
- Tech.
- Cool.
- In the accounting department.
- Ah.
Whenever FlashPay has any
kind of software update,
it's my job to install it on
every single computer
throughout the whole hospital.
That sounds like a very important job.
It was five years ago,
when New Amsterdam still used FlashPay.
Now only one person in
the whole hospital uses it.
Who's that?
Me, when I update it on
all the computers.
- I'll find you a new job.
- Great.
- So, what'll that be?
- No idea.
Systolic 140; pulse ox 97.
- Popcorn on a stick.
- Lap sponge.
[TENSE MUSIC]
Wet wrap the whole tip.
You see anything?
Nothing.
We visualized the entire abdomen.
Yeah.
I can't believe we let
Dr. Goodwin talk us into this.
He thought a carcinoid tumor
fit all her symptoms.
Well, he was wrong.
Fresh ESU pencil on the tray.
I'm gonna run the bowel.
- All 23 feet of it?
- Yep.
[SCOFFS]
Then you're crazier than he is.
♪
- Hey, man of the hour.
- I...
Your son is the sweetest,
We have been having the best time.
We're gonna go to Battery Park tonight.
Yes...
About Rohan...
It appears I may have hurt
my son's feelings this morning.
Oh.
Unintentionally, of course,
but I wanted to clear things up
before you heard his side of the story.
There are sides?
Not exactly, it's just I was
looking out for you, you see?
Uh trying to... protect you.
Why would I need protecting?
I was concerned that my son
had taken an interest in you
simply to... to hurt me.
Why would you think that?
Because of a disagreement we had.
Or because you don't think
your son could be interested in
someone like me?
Oh, well, no, I... I just...
Because you actually thought
the only reason Rohan
would ever be interested in me
is if he was using me to get back at you?
No, that's not what I meant.
Well, you must have meant it
on some level
or you wouldn't have said it.
I fear there has been
a profound misunderstanding here...
No, I think I heard you loud and clear.
Hi, welcome to Pain de Vie. Excuse me.
Hi, um, I'll get a small latte.
- Sure, is whole milk okay?
- Yeah.
And can I get two muffins?
You know this is why no one
likes therapists.
You're taking my life and you're...
You're twisting it around.
Okay, well, then help me out.
Tell me a different story.
Help me understand.
All right, how 'bout this?
Dad saved himself from
an impossible situation.
No, he was not perfect,
but I never doubted that he loved me.
So you can come at me all day,
but I'm not blaming him for my mistakes.
I'm not blaming him for
your mistakes, either.
He did the best he could
for as long as he could.
Did you hear me? I'm not
blaming him for your mistakes.
Okay, so why the hell are we
still talking about this?
Because you went to Whitman College
in Walla Walla, Washington.
You literally could have gone
anywhere else,
but you went all the way
across the country.
Family psychological histories
are a lot like genetic ones,
and you have the gene for running.
So I'm asking you...
What are you running from?
[SNIFFLES]
You're right. I'm like my dad.
We both ran.
And yeah, he was running from my mom.
But I am not running from,
I am running to.
I'm an ED doctor.
I run to crisis.
I mean, I run to help people.
And yeah, you know what?
My childhood, it sucked.
But it made me who I am.
And this hospital is lucky to have me.
[SNIFFLES]
- Okay.
Thank you for that.
[SIGHS]
Do you think you can get
your Adderall under control?
Yes.
And do you think that practicing medicine
is the best thing for your recovery?
I know it is.
[SNIFFLES]
Okay then.
Get back out there.
You're clear.
Go show 'em how it's done.
[SNIFFLES]
[SOLEMN MUSIC]
♪
[DISTORTED VOICE] Lauren?
♪
[DISTORTED VOICE] Lauren.
I didn't know what else to do.
No problem.
I was cleared.
Clevidipine infusion rate:
1 milligram per hour.
Balfour retractor standing by.
She is so stubborn.
Show me a kid who doesn't think
their parents are stubborn.
She's overweight, diabetic,
and spends most of her time
chain-smoking, eating
fried foods, and drinking.
And she has no intention
of ever changing.
That's problematic.
That's a recipe for disaster.
I'm the only one telling her to stop.
The rest of her buddies
out in Sheepshead Bay,
they all have the same bad habits.
Maybe they all need a little attention.
They need a swift kick in the pants.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
You know, I got out there often as I can,
prescribe them what they need,
but it's just...
[SIGHS] It's not enough.
Found it.
Yeah, I can feel an abnormal
nodule right here.
I'm gonna cut it out,
send it to pathology.
Is it crazy I'm happy
Dr. Reynolds found a tumor
in my mom's bowel?
No, you're not crazy.
Come with me, you gave me an idea.
[UPBEAT PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]
♪
- Thank you all for coming.
- He is canning us.
Hmm?
It's just like that scene in "Goodfellas"
when they tell Joe Pesci
he's gonna get made
and he's all excited and dressed up,
and then he goes in the room, and whack!
- They whack him.
- I am not whacking you.
I'm hiring you, all of you.
We're opening a new clinic
in Sheepshead Bay.
And since you're all on payroll already,
this will actually be the first
profitable thing I've done.
Sheepshead Bay?
New Amsterdam runs satellite clinics
all over the city,
but we've neglected this part
of Brooklyn and the people
who live there,
and that ends today with your help.
Sounds great, but I'm kinda over
the parking attendant thing.
Good, because you'll be
running our reception area.
Greeting people,
making sure they feel at ease.
That I can do.
Anna, you'll be installing
our new computer systems.
- Linux or DOS?
- No idea.
And Jessica, you'll be
caring for the community
who raised you and who needs you now.
Thank you, Max.
Hello? I hope I'm not too late.
Everyone, meet our new
radiology department.
♪
[GAGGING AND CRYING]
You're gonna need the suture kit.
- Yeah.
- [COUGHING]
[DISTORTED DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[SLOW AND DISTORTED COUGHING]
♪
[CRYING]
[MUSIC INTENSIFYING]
♪
[COUGHING]
♪
[DOOR CLICKS OPEN]
Ask me again.
What are you running from?
[INHALES SHARPLY]
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
[SHAKY BREATH]
I told my mom that I was going to NYU.
That I'd be here in town, close by.
Dad had died the year before,
and things had gotten...
I didn't even tell her that
I applied to Whitman.
I didn't tell Vanessa, my sister.
And I knew...
I knew that they wouldn't be
okay without me.
I mean, I protected Vanessa.
She thought I was a rock star.
But she was 12...
I mean, I couldn't... I couldn't
take her with me.
I wanted to,
but I knew if I didn't go...
Then I was never gonna get out.
[SNIFFLES]
One night, I... I tucked her up in bed...
And I left.
I, um...
I left my little sister.
[SNIFFLES]
She's in rehab now, again.
Fourth time.
That is not on you.
I could have saved her, you know?
I mean, I could have saved my mom.
You were a kid, that is not your job.
Then whose was it?
I mean, I was all they had,
and then I just... I just left.
Listen to me.
There are people all over the world
with families just like yours.
All over the world.
And many of them, most of them,
they never get out.
You saved the only person
that you could save.
You did not fail.
What you did was an act of
incredible strength.
I don't feel strong.
You only have to be strong
enough to do one more thing.
[INHALES SHARPLY]
I need help.
Okay.
We can do that.
Okay?
Were you, uh,
were you really clearing me
to go back to work?
And let a drug addict loose in the ED?
God, no.
- [LAUGHS]
- You kidding me?
[SOBS]
♪ Throw away your things ♪
♪ When this is over ♪
♪
♪ Oh, when the ice ♪
♪ Is melted away ♪
♪
♪ And the hunger returns ♪
♪ I will be the same ♪
Hey.
Hey.
I wasn't expecting to see you.
Because I cut you off at the knees?
I came on too strong.
It's a personality defect.
No, you didn't, and it's not.
It was spontaneous and fun
and completely lovely.
And that's what made it
utterly terrifying for me.
I haven't wanted to take
a chance on something...
um, on someone in a really long time.
I mean, I used to be
a person who took chances,
and I really wanna be that person again.
You don't have to explain.
No, I want to.
You make me want to.
I... I have baggage.
And it comes with me wherever I go.
And to be honest, I'm so tired
of dragging it around with me.
Is that an overnight bag?
Yes.
I have literally brought
my baggage with me.
[LAUGHS]
But only 'cause there's
a Radiohead concert in Philadelphia.
Any interest in going with me?
♪ - I took it for love ♪
♪ Or at least something beautiful ♪
[CHUCKLES]
Of all the windows in all the
hallways in this hospital,
you had to stand in front of mine.
Get your own window.
I needed your advice today, my friend,
but you were busy.
Yeah, I mean, that happens sometimes.
As a result, I managed to lose
my only friend
and my only son.
I'm sure it's not that bad.
It is that bad.
Oh.
Okay, sorry.
So what do I do now?
Iggy, I need you to help me.
Okay.
[SOBBING]
♪ Where have you been ♪
♪ And what have you done ♪
♪
How's the VIP?
[SCOFFS]
Not feeling very important.
Well, you are,
to me, to everyone.
It's gonna be hard,
but... when you make it...
Your job's gonna be right here
waiting for you.
My job means everything to me, Max.
I know the feeling.
♪
♪ Moving pictures ♪
♪ In silent films ♪
♪