Nevsu (2017–2021): Season 2, Episode 5 - The Suicide - full transcript
I'm sorry, you came on a crazy day.
Here, this is Gili.
Gili is a respected
senior copywriter here.
He's head of advertising
for the local Ethiopian market.
-Gili, please, train him.
-Train him?
Show him around the office.
He's just out of advertising school.
Take him in,
treat him as if he were family.
Okay, bye.
Nice to meet you. I'm Shiri.
-Shirley?
-No.
Shirley is a girl's name.
-Shiri.
-Right, Shiri, sure. Nice to meet you.
This is the conference room.
This is our little kitchen, for everyone.
We don't make too much
of seniority here.
Accounting is over there.
That's it. School is over.
Here, you get paid for what you do.
-Espresso?
-No, thanks, I don't…
-Where is the restroom?
-Over here.
-This way, go right and then left.
-Okay.
-Let me, I'll hold it for you.
-Thanks.
What?
God damn it.
12,000 shekels for an intern
who just graduated from school,
and his name is Shirley!
And they change our names!
Calm down. It's only
one thousand more than you get paid.
But I've been working there for five
years,
-and I'm training him!
-Then ask him to train you in negotiation.
No, Tamar, tomorrow
I'm going to quit. It's humiliating.
Come on, unemployed people earn
less than Shirley, even less than Gili.
But it is odd that he makes more
than you do.
No, it's not odd.
There aren't many options here.
Either Carmon was drunk when
he signed the contract,
or some kind of a typo or something, or…
What?
Unbelievable. I always get screwed.
I even got screwed on
my first job at the street market.
Why does everyone get ten shekels
an hour and I only get five?
-Kid, look at you, you're a little guy.
-I'm not a little guy!
No, little guy, don't cry!
Have some sweet pepper!
That wasn't racism. You were just short.
And that's not racism?
Right, I'm both black and short.
I don't know why Carmon
has decided to screw me over.
Okay, Gili, before we start
blocking roads,
maybe you should find out
about everyone's paychecks?
Maybe this Shirley is his relative.
Man, how I hate being a sucker!
-I feel like breaking something!
-Here.
Amos Oz, A. B. Yehoshua,
and of course, this as well.
You can now get the book Si Senior
for fifteen shekels.
Si Senior?
I've never heard of it. Let's see.
"A bored housewife embarks on
a journey of self-discovery
and desire in Tuscany"?
Why would you offer me this?
Do you expect me to let go
of David Grossman for one moment
to read about the desires
of a bored housewife in Tuscany,
named Nurit Sasoni?
-Okay, that will be 252…
-Wait a minute,
I'm just trying to understand
how that Sasoni girl
managed to fill 300 pages
about her desire in Tuscany…
Hey, watch where you're going.
Si senior, uno momento!
"Antonio wrapped the ribbon
around Amalia's eyes…"
What are you doing?
-What are you doing?
-What are you doing?
Why would you scare me like that, Jacob?
That book really drew you in.
I haven't heard a word
from you all night.
-Is this the new book from Grossman?
-No, the old one from Nurit Sasoni.
-Who is Nurit Sasoni?
-A young talent.
-Will I like it?
-No, I don't think so.
I could use some literature.
That book by Nadav Eyal,
about globalization, is depressing.
I don't know if you could
call this "literature."
Is it poetry? I don't like poems.
No, Jacob.
It's an erotic novel.
Oh, erotic?
Goodnight.
You heard the word "erotic,"
said "goodnight," and started snoring.
Why? Not at all. Have fun.
I used to be the liberal one of us.
If you're such a liberal, Jacob,
how come you've never covered
my eyes with a lace ribbon?
To play pin the tail on the donkey?
Why are you always finding ways
to call me a donkey?
I don't know what you want.
I want us to go on an erotic journey,
to discover our darkest desires.
I want you to cover my
eyes with a lace ribbon
and watch Eighty Shades of Grey.
Fifty Shades of Grey.
Jacob, if you know so much about it,
how come you didn't take
me to a Tantra course?
Who is Tantra?
-Police, we have a search warrant.
-Again?
You were here just two weeks ago.
-Where is your son's room?
-Exactly where it was the last time.
Don't you remember searching
here and not finding anything?
Too bad you don't have door stickers,
to remind you that you've been here.
-Well, well.
-What is this, cigarettes?
You wish it was cigarettes.
No, I don't want it to be cigarettes.
-Actually, it's just cigarettes.
-What do you mean, just?
Cigarettes kill!
I didn't know my son smokes.
-Ohayon Team, are you at Nordau St.?
-Affirmative.
We're searching at the Getacho house.
We're Chalacho.
Oh, you're looking for Getacho?
It's on the upper floor.
Looks like we got the wrong apartment.
Sorry for the mistake, ma'am.
No, it's good you came.
Otherwise, I wouldn't have found out
my son smokes.
Say, Gili, where's the printer here?
Walk down the hall until you hear
a printer noise. You can manage.
What? I didn't get it.
Go straight all the way, on the
right, by the clock.
Oh, thanks.
Say, what's with you?
You're giving him a terrible welcome.
Mendel, come on,
we barely had any financial assistance.
That kid's rolling in it.
-What do you mean?
-I saw his contract.
-You have no idea how much he makes.
-How much?
Twelve thousand.
Oh, nice.
Nice? He's just starting out.
-Nice start.
-It's not bad as a middle and end, too.
According to you.
Mendel, how much do you make?
-Can't complain.
-How much is that in shekels?
No worries.
"No worries" means more
than twelve or less than twelve?
No, for less than twelve,
I'd say "good enough."
Oh my God, you make more than Shirley?
How much? Twenty?
No, with twenty I'd say "Thank you, Lord."
But wait, Gili, how much do you make?
For me it's "so help me God."
-Dude, where's the ashtray?
-Here it is.
Gili, you smoke?
Are you kidding? I'm a heavy smoker.
I quit, but I'm trying to restart.
The problem is, they cost so much.
You can't afford to smoke much
on 12,000 a month.
You make less than twelve?
What? No, no. I meant generally.
Do you make less than twelve?
I make more.
So do I.
Sure, so do I.
That's why I can afford to take a class
to finally quit this crap.
Okay. Now, pay attention.
Men, please lean toward your women.
Put your hands
on your partner's heart chakra.
The heart chakra is located on
the left side of the chest.
Jacob, she said chest.
My chest hasn't reached my waist yet.
It's up here.
-She said heart chakra, not heart.
-The heart chakra is here.
I'm not comfortable holding your
boob here.
What do you care? They're all
busy with their wives' tits.
Now, pay attention,
we're about to connect the heart chakra
to the ear chakra.
So, gentlemen, take a deep breath
and gently breathe on your partner's ear.
Keep sending energy to the
heart chakra with your hand.
This requires a college degree.
Exhale, Jacob, exhale.
I don't like this public exhaling.
Public?
How do you blow out birthday candles?
Not in public?
I feel like an idiot.
-Jacob, come here.
-Sorry?
-Come back!
-Is everything okay?
No, there's no one to breathe on me
Do you want me to breathe on myself?
Nitza, come here.
This whole public Kama Sutra thing
isn't for me.
You see who I'm dealing with here?
He's repressed.
How can I fulfill
my sexual desires like that?
Nitza, wait.
-Let's not get judgmental.
-Okay.
-Everyone advances at their own pace.
-He's not.
Can't you see what's going on here?
Everybody's undressing.
He's putting on his shoes.
Ms. Tantra, I respect what you do.
I'm Ananda.
Sorry, Ms. Ananda Tantra,
I'm sure this Indian teaching
has proven itself,
but I'm more a one-on-one kind of guy.
I mean, one man on one woman.
We didn't do it in public
back in the sixties.
You know what? I get you.
I totally get you. If you don't mind
waiting for me here for half an
hour until I finish the session,
I'll give you a private session.
That's great,
but my parking is running out.
What parking, Jacob?
We're in the countryside.
You're parked in an orchard. Sit down.
We're going to take off our
shoes and wait for you.
Every time these cops come here,
they don't find anything
and mess up the house.
Don't talk about the Israeli Police
that way.
If not for them, I wouldn't have known
you were smoking.
I should write a thank-you letter
to the Israeli Police,
who were sent here by God.
I wasn't sent by God. I know the way.
What's with all this mess?
The police searched here.
-Where am I going to eat now?
-Wait, let us put everything back.
Wow, that's lovely. What is it?
It was Dad's.
He used it to kill mosquitoes.
It's great.
The Israeli Police are the best.
There's nothing they can't find.
Except a search warrant.
How come they never come to me?
Because you don't have
criminal children at home.
Excuse me, Eliran lives with me.
Who knows what he's hiding there?
Shmelash, what do you
need them to search for?
Everything. Ever since my wife died,
I can't find anything in my house.
I need the help of the Israeli Police.
Jacob, close your eyes, please.
Okay.
I want us to dive into
your deepest fantasy.
I'm not a man of fantasies,
I'm all about the here and now.
Then please close your eyes here and now
and dive into the fantasy for the
sake of our relationship.
I'd like you to picture this
fantasy as a round, red ball
that's inside your stomach.
It's warm, and it wants to get out.
Here, it is arising.
Feel it in your chest,
feel it bubbling,
it's up in the neck,
now it's in your throat,
and the fantasy wants to get out!
Nudist beach? Doctor and nurse?
Warder and prisoner?
Say it already! What is your fantasy?
Nasty idiot!
What? What did he say?
Good, good, let it out.
Beggar pissing on the wall!
Why is he talking to me like that?
It's his fantasy. It's got nothing
to do with you. Accept it.
Dirty girl with rabies and lice!
How can I accept that?
I'm shocked by this Carmon person.
Of all people, you get the least?
What an Israel-hating racist.
He's fine with the ultra-orthodox.
-I feel like breaking something.
-Here.
Now I remember.
When you asked him for a raise
two months ago, what did he give you?
Rackets and beach chairs, that loser.
How much did you ask him for then?
Carmon, first, I'd like you to
know I really love working here,
-and in my opinion, I'm giving my best.
-Yeah, well?
But I have a family, a little girl.
Now summer's here, and I want to
spoil my little girl, you see?
Gili, why didn't you say so?
You need summer treats?
Here.
Water wings,
a beach chair with a hole for your beer,
a sunshade,
rackets with no ball,
a cooler,
and a five-piece beach kit.
So you've never even asked.
-What if he says no?
-Then let him say no.
No, no, Tamar, I can't have that.
I won't be humiliated like I was
at the market.
Then tell him you got an
offer somewhere else,
that they offered you
15-thousand shekels.
Who did?
What's the biggest ad agency?
-What, CMI?
-Yes.
-They really want you.
-Why do they want me?
They're tracked you down through
an American copywriter scout.
Wow, that's very flattering.
What did he see I was doing?
I'm making it up, Gili!
You have to make
him believe you're leaving.
Don't let him buy you off
with a little gift.
-Go to hell, dirty kitten!
-Is that…?
You naughty little animal!
Should we check on them?
No. Just ask for that raise,
and let's move out.
Witch! Slave!
I'm going to hit the shower. I have
to splash some cold water on myself.
Go wash the filth off yourself,
you dirty zebra.
-Hello.
-Ananda, it's Nitza.
Nitza, it's midnight.
Well, you don't have sex at noon, do you?
You said I could call.
Okay, but not at all hours.
What's going on?
Is this about his dirty talking?
"Dirty talking" is an understatement.
He does use very poetic language,
but even Eliezer Ben-Yehuda's
wife would go nuts.
I'm starting to miss the nights
we'd fall asleep
-with a David Grossman book.
-Nitza, you must realize
that Jacob has been repressing his
fantasy for a very long time.
Years of fantasies are coming unclogged.
Unclogged?
It's like a sewer in there.
Jacob is like a fragile snail
coming out of his shell.
If he feels like he's being judged and
criticized, he'll go back in.
Nitza, where are you, my wild beast?
I'll be right there! Listen to me.
I worked for the
Ministry of Education for 30 years,
and I grew a very thick skin.
Yes, Gili, what is it? What did you want?
Gili, it's Friday.
CMI, you know them:
the advertising agency.
Yeah.
So they tracked me down
through an American scout.
They want me to run
the Africa department.
-Are you serious?
-Yes.
Wow, that's crazy.
Right, but it's very true.
They offered me 15 grand.
Of course, those are American standards.
It's hard to say no.
I can't let you say no to that.
What?
I'd hate to lose you, but I can't
prevent you from getting ahead.
You could try. It's only
4,000 shekels more.
Gili, come on, never mind the money.
It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!
I've been abroad. Been there, done that.
Carmon, what I really
care about is the money.
I want to stay here. I love working here.
Gili, I love you too,
but when you really love someone,
you set them free.
I'd like to make a toast to Gili.
It was clear that we were
just a stop on the way for him,
that he's much bigger than us.
Oh, you're not that small.
Compared to your new agency,
we're nothing.
Well then, friends,
Here's to Gili Chalacho,
who, as of next week, is the new
head of the Africa department
-at CMI!
-Wow!
Gili, I didn't…
I'm really going to miss you.
We all will! How could you
not miss such a sweet guy?
-Gili!
-Gili! Gili!
-Gili…
-Guys,
Gili, a little speech.
Thank you all.
I have nothing to say.
Maybe only when you really want someone,
you don't want them to go,
so you convince him to stay.
-Gili, are you crying?
-No.
-You are.
-No, I wasn't offered anything.
I made it all up. Happy now?
I just wanted a raise.
Why am I the only one
who makes 11,000 here?
You actually cried?
With tears?
Yes, yes, all the special effects.
-I'm never going back to that office.
-What do you mean?
I'm not going back, Tamar.
Like a Turkish movie. When
someone cries, it's over.
Kids, if Dad's looking for me,
I'm not here.
-What?
-Nitza, Nitza, honey…
Oh, kids,
-have you seen Mom?
-No.
Oh, okay, if you see her, tell
her I'm waiting for her at home.
What was that?
Ugh, I don't know.
-Is the cowboy gone?
-Yes.
I see you have a lot of questions, Tamar,
but you should know that there are
things kids just shouldn't know
-about their parents' issues.
-You're right.
But just so you know,
your father is a sex addict.
-I'm going to the bedroom…
-No.
If you had any idea what I went through
last night…
No, no, don't tell us.
It's best that you talk
about it privately.
But there's no one to talk to!
-The man is a sex addict.
-Him, talk to him.
-Bye.
-Yes, but he must go to rehab.
-He's obsessed, don't you get it?
-Thank you, have a wonderful day.
Okay, you're calling Carmon
right now to fix it.
No way! After I made up a job and
they threw a party for me,
-where I cried?
-Yes, you did many things
except going to Carmon and telling
him: I deserve more money.
It's Carmon. I'm answering.
No, no, don't answer.
I'm not here, I'm not here.
-I'm not here.
-Hello, Carmon.
Yes, he's here.
No, Carmon, he doesn't want to go back
to your racist, discriminating office.
Then how can you explain the fact
that your Ethiopian employee
earns less than everyone?
Should we go see what other companies
think about it?
Gili, would you open the Tzaneret
web page?
Thirteen? After all these years?
Are you kidding?
Fifteen is something
I can check with Gili about.
Fifteen is exactly what you wanted.
But that was before I cried.
-What's the price?
-Stop, you're distracting me.
I'll tell you what, he's
on the phone right now,
with the show's editor,
he's really distracted.
Okay, hold one second.
Eighteen.
The highest salary in the office.
Tamar, there's no price for my dignity.
-Yes, he'll take it.
-What?
Bye, Carmon.
How can I show my face at the
office after this?
Gili, you have 18 thousand shekels.
Buy a sombrero and a mustache.
There you go.
Gili, why are you wasting
your money on me?
I got a raise. I wanted to get
you something. It's nice.
Maybe I should tie it to Shmelash so
it can pick up the crumbs after him.
Hello, Alamito.
I got you an electric spoon and pantyhose.
Shmelash, what's with you?
The Israeli Police are the best.
The moment I told them I suspected
I had drugs in my house,
they immediately arrived,
opened all the closets,
searched the drawers…
Guess what they didn't find?
Seriously, Shmelash, why would you
mess with the police like that?
They're already mad at us.
Come on! Everybody's doing it now.
I heard they've found some crazy stuff.
For Almo, the cops found the map with
the road from the village to Sudan
which his grandfather drew on a card,
and a pack of cards his grandfather used
to play with at the Integration Center.
Awesome. Mom, for years I've been
begging you to find the tapes
-Dad recorded stories for me on.
-Okay, I'll find it.
You've been saying that for years.
I have no time.
Then why don't you call someone who
has time and gets paid for it,
and just wants to keep
searching in our community?
Where did you keep Dad's tapes?
In a coffee jar.
My mom just remembered he sometimes
hides drugs in coffee jars.
There's nothing here,
no cigarettes, no coffee.
We didn't look in the storage place.
Oh, sorry, I haven't cleaned
there since last Passover.
Wait a second, you said
something about coffee.
-Yes, give it to me.
-I'm not giving anything.
It's evidence. I'm confiscating it.
Are these old tapes?
Yes! You're awesome!
You have no idea what a
treasure you've just found.
What's in there?
These are my father's tapes, in which
he's telling me stories in Amharic.
We've been looking for it for ages.
We thought we'd lost it.
Wait a second. You called the police.
We got a judge to sign a warrant
to find you these tapes?
You're mad at us for not having drugs?
Sorry to disappoint you, Officer.
You, come here, with you butt toward me.
And you, don't you ever call
us again, because we won't come.
What's with the anger, man? You've
just made a family happy.
The police are for everyone.
We deserve the police
just like anyone else.
Bathing in mud, my filthy pig?
-Stop with the zoo, come on, stop.
-Are you crazy?
-I'm sorry.
-That really hurt.
What? Like, really hurt?
Like that?
-Have you been a bad boy?
-Nitza…
-It's doing something to me.
-What?
-Who's been a bad boy? Were you a bad boy?
-Yes, yes, I was.
-Who was bad?
-Come to me, you dog.
Come here.
Yes, yes.
I need to see Dr. George, please.
-Today, if possible.
-What a night…
Jacob, what a wonderful night it was.
Thank you.
-Yes, yes.
-It made me years younger.
It's better than Botox.
It was amazing.
Oh no, what happened to your face?
Are you alright?
I'm okay. My filling
came out from all the slapping.
I'm trying to make a dentist appointment.
I don't know my own strength.
-So you didn't enjoy it?
-I did, actually.
It was great until my crown broke off,
but then you hit me hard and I lost focus.
Well, your swearing
made me lose focus too.
What swearing?
Let's just say that
hearing you calling me a dirty animal
really killed my self-esteem.
Oh no, it's my libido. I'm sorry.
I didn't realize.
The last thing I want is to hurt you.
-And the last thing I want to hurt you.
-So what should we do?
Okay, go for it.
Filthy witch! Did you hear me?
I didn't. Did it hurt?
No, it's great!
Okay, let's go to bed,
my ugly little bunny.
Nitza, hold the call,
I'll be right out. Is it a client?
No, it's from Rachel's Tomb.
Why do they need the car?
They don't.
Sweetie,
who put those things in your hair?
Is that a zip tie?
Ma'ayani, tell me who did it.
Mommy will strangle him.
Daddy put the zip tie in.
Welcome one and all.
Hi, I'm Mahmoud. We spoke earlier.
I'm Jacob. This is my wife, Nitza.
My brothers,
Yassin and little Abu Jihad.
Jacob, they don't look alike.
They're a terrorist cell.
May I ask your name, pretty lady?
Zauditu. And yours, kind sir?
Shmalash, at your service.
Where have you been hiding
this rare flower?
With the cleaning supplies.
Here, this is Gili.
Gili is a respected
senior copywriter here.
He's head of advertising
for the local Ethiopian market.
-Gili, please, train him.
-Train him?
Show him around the office.
He's just out of advertising school.
Take him in,
treat him as if he were family.
Okay, bye.
Nice to meet you. I'm Shiri.
-Shirley?
-No.
Shirley is a girl's name.
-Shiri.
-Right, Shiri, sure. Nice to meet you.
This is the conference room.
This is our little kitchen, for everyone.
We don't make too much
of seniority here.
Accounting is over there.
That's it. School is over.
Here, you get paid for what you do.
-Espresso?
-No, thanks, I don't…
-Where is the restroom?
-Over here.
-This way, go right and then left.
-Okay.
-Let me, I'll hold it for you.
-Thanks.
What?
God damn it.
12,000 shekels for an intern
who just graduated from school,
and his name is Shirley!
And they change our names!
Calm down. It's only
one thousand more than you get paid.
But I've been working there for five
years,
-and I'm training him!
-Then ask him to train you in negotiation.
No, Tamar, tomorrow
I'm going to quit. It's humiliating.
Come on, unemployed people earn
less than Shirley, even less than Gili.
But it is odd that he makes more
than you do.
No, it's not odd.
There aren't many options here.
Either Carmon was drunk when
he signed the contract,
or some kind of a typo or something, or…
What?
Unbelievable. I always get screwed.
I even got screwed on
my first job at the street market.
Why does everyone get ten shekels
an hour and I only get five?
-Kid, look at you, you're a little guy.
-I'm not a little guy!
No, little guy, don't cry!
Have some sweet pepper!
That wasn't racism. You were just short.
And that's not racism?
Right, I'm both black and short.
I don't know why Carmon
has decided to screw me over.
Okay, Gili, before we start
blocking roads,
maybe you should find out
about everyone's paychecks?
Maybe this Shirley is his relative.
Man, how I hate being a sucker!
-I feel like breaking something!
-Here.
Amos Oz, A. B. Yehoshua,
and of course, this as well.
You can now get the book Si Senior
for fifteen shekels.
Si Senior?
I've never heard of it. Let's see.
"A bored housewife embarks on
a journey of self-discovery
and desire in Tuscany"?
Why would you offer me this?
Do you expect me to let go
of David Grossman for one moment
to read about the desires
of a bored housewife in Tuscany,
named Nurit Sasoni?
-Okay, that will be 252…
-Wait a minute,
I'm just trying to understand
how that Sasoni girl
managed to fill 300 pages
about her desire in Tuscany…
Hey, watch where you're going.
Si senior, uno momento!
"Antonio wrapped the ribbon
around Amalia's eyes…"
What are you doing?
-What are you doing?
-What are you doing?
Why would you scare me like that, Jacob?
That book really drew you in.
I haven't heard a word
from you all night.
-Is this the new book from Grossman?
-No, the old one from Nurit Sasoni.
-Who is Nurit Sasoni?
-A young talent.
-Will I like it?
-No, I don't think so.
I could use some literature.
That book by Nadav Eyal,
about globalization, is depressing.
I don't know if you could
call this "literature."
Is it poetry? I don't like poems.
No, Jacob.
It's an erotic novel.
Oh, erotic?
Goodnight.
You heard the word "erotic,"
said "goodnight," and started snoring.
Why? Not at all. Have fun.
I used to be the liberal one of us.
If you're such a liberal, Jacob,
how come you've never covered
my eyes with a lace ribbon?
To play pin the tail on the donkey?
Why are you always finding ways
to call me a donkey?
I don't know what you want.
I want us to go on an erotic journey,
to discover our darkest desires.
I want you to cover my
eyes with a lace ribbon
and watch Eighty Shades of Grey.
Fifty Shades of Grey.
Jacob, if you know so much about it,
how come you didn't take
me to a Tantra course?
Who is Tantra?
-Police, we have a search warrant.
-Again?
You were here just two weeks ago.
-Where is your son's room?
-Exactly where it was the last time.
Don't you remember searching
here and not finding anything?
Too bad you don't have door stickers,
to remind you that you've been here.
-Well, well.
-What is this, cigarettes?
You wish it was cigarettes.
No, I don't want it to be cigarettes.
-Actually, it's just cigarettes.
-What do you mean, just?
Cigarettes kill!
I didn't know my son smokes.
-Ohayon Team, are you at Nordau St.?
-Affirmative.
We're searching at the Getacho house.
We're Chalacho.
Oh, you're looking for Getacho?
It's on the upper floor.
Looks like we got the wrong apartment.
Sorry for the mistake, ma'am.
No, it's good you came.
Otherwise, I wouldn't have found out
my son smokes.
Say, Gili, where's the printer here?
Walk down the hall until you hear
a printer noise. You can manage.
What? I didn't get it.
Go straight all the way, on the
right, by the clock.
Oh, thanks.
Say, what's with you?
You're giving him a terrible welcome.
Mendel, come on,
we barely had any financial assistance.
That kid's rolling in it.
-What do you mean?
-I saw his contract.
-You have no idea how much he makes.
-How much?
Twelve thousand.
Oh, nice.
Nice? He's just starting out.
-Nice start.
-It's not bad as a middle and end, too.
According to you.
Mendel, how much do you make?
-Can't complain.
-How much is that in shekels?
No worries.
"No worries" means more
than twelve or less than twelve?
No, for less than twelve,
I'd say "good enough."
Oh my God, you make more than Shirley?
How much? Twenty?
No, with twenty I'd say "Thank you, Lord."
But wait, Gili, how much do you make?
For me it's "so help me God."
-Dude, where's the ashtray?
-Here it is.
Gili, you smoke?
Are you kidding? I'm a heavy smoker.
I quit, but I'm trying to restart.
The problem is, they cost so much.
You can't afford to smoke much
on 12,000 a month.
You make less than twelve?
What? No, no. I meant generally.
Do you make less than twelve?
I make more.
So do I.
Sure, so do I.
That's why I can afford to take a class
to finally quit this crap.
Okay. Now, pay attention.
Men, please lean toward your women.
Put your hands
on your partner's heart chakra.
The heart chakra is located on
the left side of the chest.
Jacob, she said chest.
My chest hasn't reached my waist yet.
It's up here.
-She said heart chakra, not heart.
-The heart chakra is here.
I'm not comfortable holding your
boob here.
What do you care? They're all
busy with their wives' tits.
Now, pay attention,
we're about to connect the heart chakra
to the ear chakra.
So, gentlemen, take a deep breath
and gently breathe on your partner's ear.
Keep sending energy to the
heart chakra with your hand.
This requires a college degree.
Exhale, Jacob, exhale.
I don't like this public exhaling.
Public?
How do you blow out birthday candles?
Not in public?
I feel like an idiot.
-Jacob, come here.
-Sorry?
-Come back!
-Is everything okay?
No, there's no one to breathe on me
Do you want me to breathe on myself?
Nitza, come here.
This whole public Kama Sutra thing
isn't for me.
You see who I'm dealing with here?
He's repressed.
How can I fulfill
my sexual desires like that?
Nitza, wait.
-Let's not get judgmental.
-Okay.
-Everyone advances at their own pace.
-He's not.
Can't you see what's going on here?
Everybody's undressing.
He's putting on his shoes.
Ms. Tantra, I respect what you do.
I'm Ananda.
Sorry, Ms. Ananda Tantra,
I'm sure this Indian teaching
has proven itself,
but I'm more a one-on-one kind of guy.
I mean, one man on one woman.
We didn't do it in public
back in the sixties.
You know what? I get you.
I totally get you. If you don't mind
waiting for me here for half an
hour until I finish the session,
I'll give you a private session.
That's great,
but my parking is running out.
What parking, Jacob?
We're in the countryside.
You're parked in an orchard. Sit down.
We're going to take off our
shoes and wait for you.
Every time these cops come here,
they don't find anything
and mess up the house.
Don't talk about the Israeli Police
that way.
If not for them, I wouldn't have known
you were smoking.
I should write a thank-you letter
to the Israeli Police,
who were sent here by God.
I wasn't sent by God. I know the way.
What's with all this mess?
The police searched here.
-Where am I going to eat now?
-Wait, let us put everything back.
Wow, that's lovely. What is it?
It was Dad's.
He used it to kill mosquitoes.
It's great.
The Israeli Police are the best.
There's nothing they can't find.
Except a search warrant.
How come they never come to me?
Because you don't have
criminal children at home.
Excuse me, Eliran lives with me.
Who knows what he's hiding there?
Shmelash, what do you
need them to search for?
Everything. Ever since my wife died,
I can't find anything in my house.
I need the help of the Israeli Police.
Jacob, close your eyes, please.
Okay.
I want us to dive into
your deepest fantasy.
I'm not a man of fantasies,
I'm all about the here and now.
Then please close your eyes here and now
and dive into the fantasy for the
sake of our relationship.
I'd like you to picture this
fantasy as a round, red ball
that's inside your stomach.
It's warm, and it wants to get out.
Here, it is arising.
Feel it in your chest,
feel it bubbling,
it's up in the neck,
now it's in your throat,
and the fantasy wants to get out!
Nudist beach? Doctor and nurse?
Warder and prisoner?
Say it already! What is your fantasy?
Nasty idiot!
What? What did he say?
Good, good, let it out.
Beggar pissing on the wall!
Why is he talking to me like that?
It's his fantasy. It's got nothing
to do with you. Accept it.
Dirty girl with rabies and lice!
How can I accept that?
I'm shocked by this Carmon person.
Of all people, you get the least?
What an Israel-hating racist.
He's fine with the ultra-orthodox.
-I feel like breaking something.
-Here.
Now I remember.
When you asked him for a raise
two months ago, what did he give you?
Rackets and beach chairs, that loser.
How much did you ask him for then?
Carmon, first, I'd like you to
know I really love working here,
-and in my opinion, I'm giving my best.
-Yeah, well?
But I have a family, a little girl.
Now summer's here, and I want to
spoil my little girl, you see?
Gili, why didn't you say so?
You need summer treats?
Here.
Water wings,
a beach chair with a hole for your beer,
a sunshade,
rackets with no ball,
a cooler,
and a five-piece beach kit.
So you've never even asked.
-What if he says no?
-Then let him say no.
No, no, Tamar, I can't have that.
I won't be humiliated like I was
at the market.
Then tell him you got an
offer somewhere else,
that they offered you
15-thousand shekels.
Who did?
What's the biggest ad agency?
-What, CMI?
-Yes.
-They really want you.
-Why do they want me?
They're tracked you down through
an American copywriter scout.
Wow, that's very flattering.
What did he see I was doing?
I'm making it up, Gili!
You have to make
him believe you're leaving.
Don't let him buy you off
with a little gift.
-Go to hell, dirty kitten!
-Is that…?
You naughty little animal!
Should we check on them?
No. Just ask for that raise,
and let's move out.
Witch! Slave!
I'm going to hit the shower. I have
to splash some cold water on myself.
Go wash the filth off yourself,
you dirty zebra.
-Hello.
-Ananda, it's Nitza.
Nitza, it's midnight.
Well, you don't have sex at noon, do you?
You said I could call.
Okay, but not at all hours.
What's going on?
Is this about his dirty talking?
"Dirty talking" is an understatement.
He does use very poetic language,
but even Eliezer Ben-Yehuda's
wife would go nuts.
I'm starting to miss the nights
we'd fall asleep
-with a David Grossman book.
-Nitza, you must realize
that Jacob has been repressing his
fantasy for a very long time.
Years of fantasies are coming unclogged.
Unclogged?
It's like a sewer in there.
Jacob is like a fragile snail
coming out of his shell.
If he feels like he's being judged and
criticized, he'll go back in.
Nitza, where are you, my wild beast?
I'll be right there! Listen to me.
I worked for the
Ministry of Education for 30 years,
and I grew a very thick skin.
Yes, Gili, what is it? What did you want?
Gili, it's Friday.
CMI, you know them:
the advertising agency.
Yeah.
So they tracked me down
through an American scout.
They want me to run
the Africa department.
-Are you serious?
-Yes.
Wow, that's crazy.
Right, but it's very true.
They offered me 15 grand.
Of course, those are American standards.
It's hard to say no.
I can't let you say no to that.
What?
I'd hate to lose you, but I can't
prevent you from getting ahead.
You could try. It's only
4,000 shekels more.
Gili, come on, never mind the money.
It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!
I've been abroad. Been there, done that.
Carmon, what I really
care about is the money.
I want to stay here. I love working here.
Gili, I love you too,
but when you really love someone,
you set them free.
I'd like to make a toast to Gili.
It was clear that we were
just a stop on the way for him,
that he's much bigger than us.
Oh, you're not that small.
Compared to your new agency,
we're nothing.
Well then, friends,
Here's to Gili Chalacho,
who, as of next week, is the new
head of the Africa department
-at CMI!
-Wow!
Gili, I didn't…
I'm really going to miss you.
We all will! How could you
not miss such a sweet guy?
-Gili!
-Gili! Gili!
-Gili…
-Guys,
Gili, a little speech.
Thank you all.
I have nothing to say.
Maybe only when you really want someone,
you don't want them to go,
so you convince him to stay.
-Gili, are you crying?
-No.
-You are.
-No, I wasn't offered anything.
I made it all up. Happy now?
I just wanted a raise.
Why am I the only one
who makes 11,000 here?
You actually cried?
With tears?
Yes, yes, all the special effects.
-I'm never going back to that office.
-What do you mean?
I'm not going back, Tamar.
Like a Turkish movie. When
someone cries, it's over.
Kids, if Dad's looking for me,
I'm not here.
-What?
-Nitza, Nitza, honey…
Oh, kids,
-have you seen Mom?
-No.
Oh, okay, if you see her, tell
her I'm waiting for her at home.
What was that?
Ugh, I don't know.
-Is the cowboy gone?
-Yes.
I see you have a lot of questions, Tamar,
but you should know that there are
things kids just shouldn't know
-about their parents' issues.
-You're right.
But just so you know,
your father is a sex addict.
-I'm going to the bedroom…
-No.
If you had any idea what I went through
last night…
No, no, don't tell us.
It's best that you talk
about it privately.
But there's no one to talk to!
-The man is a sex addict.
-Him, talk to him.
-Bye.
-Yes, but he must go to rehab.
-He's obsessed, don't you get it?
-Thank you, have a wonderful day.
Okay, you're calling Carmon
right now to fix it.
No way! After I made up a job and
they threw a party for me,
-where I cried?
-Yes, you did many things
except going to Carmon and telling
him: I deserve more money.
It's Carmon. I'm answering.
No, no, don't answer.
I'm not here, I'm not here.
-I'm not here.
-Hello, Carmon.
Yes, he's here.
No, Carmon, he doesn't want to go back
to your racist, discriminating office.
Then how can you explain the fact
that your Ethiopian employee
earns less than everyone?
Should we go see what other companies
think about it?
Gili, would you open the Tzaneret
web page?
Thirteen? After all these years?
Are you kidding?
Fifteen is something
I can check with Gili about.
Fifteen is exactly what you wanted.
But that was before I cried.
-What's the price?
-Stop, you're distracting me.
I'll tell you what, he's
on the phone right now,
with the show's editor,
he's really distracted.
Okay, hold one second.
Eighteen.
The highest salary in the office.
Tamar, there's no price for my dignity.
-Yes, he'll take it.
-What?
Bye, Carmon.
How can I show my face at the
office after this?
Gili, you have 18 thousand shekels.
Buy a sombrero and a mustache.
There you go.
Gili, why are you wasting
your money on me?
I got a raise. I wanted to get
you something. It's nice.
Maybe I should tie it to Shmelash so
it can pick up the crumbs after him.
Hello, Alamito.
I got you an electric spoon and pantyhose.
Shmelash, what's with you?
The Israeli Police are the best.
The moment I told them I suspected
I had drugs in my house,
they immediately arrived,
opened all the closets,
searched the drawers…
Guess what they didn't find?
Seriously, Shmelash, why would you
mess with the police like that?
They're already mad at us.
Come on! Everybody's doing it now.
I heard they've found some crazy stuff.
For Almo, the cops found the map with
the road from the village to Sudan
which his grandfather drew on a card,
and a pack of cards his grandfather used
to play with at the Integration Center.
Awesome. Mom, for years I've been
begging you to find the tapes
-Dad recorded stories for me on.
-Okay, I'll find it.
You've been saying that for years.
I have no time.
Then why don't you call someone who
has time and gets paid for it,
and just wants to keep
searching in our community?
Where did you keep Dad's tapes?
In a coffee jar.
My mom just remembered he sometimes
hides drugs in coffee jars.
There's nothing here,
no cigarettes, no coffee.
We didn't look in the storage place.
Oh, sorry, I haven't cleaned
there since last Passover.
Wait a second, you said
something about coffee.
-Yes, give it to me.
-I'm not giving anything.
It's evidence. I'm confiscating it.
Are these old tapes?
Yes! You're awesome!
You have no idea what a
treasure you've just found.
What's in there?
These are my father's tapes, in which
he's telling me stories in Amharic.
We've been looking for it for ages.
We thought we'd lost it.
Wait a second. You called the police.
We got a judge to sign a warrant
to find you these tapes?
You're mad at us for not having drugs?
Sorry to disappoint you, Officer.
You, come here, with you butt toward me.
And you, don't you ever call
us again, because we won't come.
What's with the anger, man? You've
just made a family happy.
The police are for everyone.
We deserve the police
just like anyone else.
Bathing in mud, my filthy pig?
-Stop with the zoo, come on, stop.
-Are you crazy?
-I'm sorry.
-That really hurt.
What? Like, really hurt?
Like that?
-Have you been a bad boy?
-Nitza…
-It's doing something to me.
-What?
-Who's been a bad boy? Were you a bad boy?
-Yes, yes, I was.
-Who was bad?
-Come to me, you dog.
Come here.
Yes, yes.
I need to see Dr. George, please.
-Today, if possible.
-What a night…
Jacob, what a wonderful night it was.
Thank you.
-Yes, yes.
-It made me years younger.
It's better than Botox.
It was amazing.
Oh no, what happened to your face?
Are you alright?
I'm okay. My filling
came out from all the slapping.
I'm trying to make a dentist appointment.
I don't know my own strength.
-So you didn't enjoy it?
-I did, actually.
It was great until my crown broke off,
but then you hit me hard and I lost focus.
Well, your swearing
made me lose focus too.
What swearing?
Let's just say that
hearing you calling me a dirty animal
really killed my self-esteem.
Oh no, it's my libido. I'm sorry.
I didn't realize.
The last thing I want is to hurt you.
-And the last thing I want to hurt you.
-So what should we do?
Okay, go for it.
Filthy witch! Did you hear me?
I didn't. Did it hurt?
No, it's great!
Okay, let's go to bed,
my ugly little bunny.
Nitza, hold the call,
I'll be right out. Is it a client?
No, it's from Rachel's Tomb.
Why do they need the car?
They don't.
Sweetie,
who put those things in your hair?
Is that a zip tie?
Ma'ayani, tell me who did it.
Mommy will strangle him.
Daddy put the zip tie in.
Welcome one and all.
Hi, I'm Mahmoud. We spoke earlier.
I'm Jacob. This is my wife, Nitza.
My brothers,
Yassin and little Abu Jihad.
Jacob, they don't look alike.
They're a terrorist cell.
May I ask your name, pretty lady?
Zauditu. And yours, kind sir?
Shmalash, at your service.
Where have you been hiding
this rare flower?
With the cleaning supplies.