Neighbors from Hell (2010): Season 1, Episode 5 - Family from Hell - full transcript
Tina's parents, who have always hated Balthazor, come to see their daughter and her family in their new home.
Hon, you've vacuumed
those curtains 50 times already!
Calm down!
They're filthy!
You calm down!
- You calm down!
- Calm down!
- Calm down!
- Calm d... aah!
What happened to these curtains?
And what happened
to my tri-tiered fruit caddy?
I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you
until you love me
Papa-paparazzi
Pazuzu, we have guests coming!
And now my fruit is just lying there
in an unsorted pile!
Step off, papa-nazzi!
I'm getting ready
for the Lady Gaga concert!
It's all falling apart!
Babe, it's just my parents
coming for a visit.
Why are you so topsy-turvy?
Maybe it has something to do with
the fact that your parents hate my guts!
Balthy.
They don't hate your guts.
Yes, they do.
Remember when your father cried
for 51 days after your nuptials?
Maybe I should just hide in my room.
Tell them I ate some bad cheese
and got the squirts.
I can catch up on Lost.
You need to remember something,
Mr. Man.
You are
the most important demon in hell.
You're our Neo!
Except without the hairless virility
that is Keanu Reeves.
Thanks for the pep talk, guys.
I'm really starting
to get jazzed on myself!
I haven't gotten jazzed on myself
for six whole weeks.
Maybe I should switch hands.
Come on!
That's not cool!
In the car, everyone!
It's time to hit the hellport!
Now that I'm Neo,
I fear nothing.
It's them!
Mee maw!
Pee paw!
Hello, children!
It's been so long
since your father ripped you
from our dark, dark hearts!
Here's your damn gift.
Meat! Meat!
A meat-eating devil plant?
I love him so!
I'll name him Morey!
Meat!
He likes me!
Stay still!
I'll put you out!
No need!
I'm jazzing all over myself!
Mom, dad,
you know Balthazor's allergic
to meat-eating devil plants!
I thought
he was allergic to success.
I apologize.
Meat!
And, of course,
this is the kitchen.
Humans cook everything...
even meat!
- Meat!
- Earth food must be delicious.
You're certainly filling out.
Let's do it again!
Excuse me, children.
What are you holding in your hands?
A baseball glove?
My life.
Those are objects
of earthly banality!
They will destroy your soul!
Mom,
put them down right now!
We do not jack in this family!
That's right.
We only spank.
This is the grill.
I'm impressed.
You've done very well for yourself,
Balthazor.
How is it going at work
with the mission?
It's good.
I'm making inroads with the boss.
We have frozen yogurt machines
and piranha tanks on every floor.
Yogurt machines?
I'd love to see that.
You would?
You want to go to the office now?
As long as
it doesn't jam up your plans.
Are you kidding?
I want you to jam me up all day long!
I'll go get my keys.
I know you're undercover,
but you have to be careful,
or you'll become the thing
you're trying to take down.
Look what happened
to Donnie Brasco.
Have you seen
my psoriasis medication?
In the wheelie luggage!
I looked there!
In the zipper part!
What zipper part?
For Lucifer's sake!
That man would lose his tail
if it wasn't attached.
Hiyooo, Tina girl!
Look!
I'm a one-man band!
You could say I've been playing with
myself ever since Brad went on Zoloft.
- What's wrong, girl?
- My mother came to visit.
And she keeps putting me down.
Nothing I do seems right to her.
That crazy bitch needs to get
her bitch ass out of town!
You got the mother-daughter blues
M-o-t-h-e-r d-a-u-g-h-t-e-r blues!
You need to join my one-man blues band
to get your mind right.
Suddenly, hanging out with my mom
doesn't seem so bad.
Thanks for that.
Bye!
Not the blue zipper part.
The red zipper part.
We need to move fast.
The situation is worse
than I thought with the children.
Cellphones?
Baseball mitts?
Makes me want to bathe
in my own sick!
Don't worry, dark dearest.
I just got Balthadope
to invite me to his office.
And once I'm done there,
he will be, too.
Zebulon!
Then Tina and the kids
can come home with us.
You're a dark genius.
Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear!
A scrupley conundrum
that's not so much fundrum.
And here's another piranha tank.
And a yogurt station.
This one's my favorite
because they have sugar-free.
It's very slimming.
Looks delicious.
Zebulon!
That's not a topping!
Hellman,
who the Huck Finn is this,
and why is he deep-throating
one of my prized piranhas?
This is my father-in-law...
Zebulon.
He's mercury deficient.
Let me try that.
We've got a new topping!
Where's my Blackbarry?
I need to remember that.
Piranha popings.
Got it, sir.
I've got 3,000 tons
of toxic sunscreen to unload.
It's jammed with steroids
like my Blackbarry.
Day one, huge muscles.
Day two, death.
Ideas. Now.
Repackage it...
as a nutritious kurdish
breakfast cereal.
You can call them kurd-flakes.
Light bulb moment!
What if we feed it to our crops
and grow super pumpkins?
We'd really clean up at Halloween.
Speaking of Halloween,
do you want to borrow
my vagina costume?
Oh, wait.
You don't need it.
We're going with Zeb's idea.
I like the cut of your jib, Z-pack.
Swing by the office. We can play
some Russian roulette with my tiger.
Zebulon, what are you doing?
You almost got me
in trouble there.
What? I was just giving you
some razzmatazz.
Like chums do.
We're chums?
Of course we are.
You're a hero now.
Mad respect.
Mad respect back to you, sir.
Awesome.
You look tired.
Is Balthazor's failure
keeping you up at night?
Funny, you don't have a job!
But it looks like
you're too busy for housework.
You have an eyelash under your eye.
Wait. I was wrong.
It was a new wrinkle.
Isn't it amazing that
you have a degree in demonomics
and all you do
is sit around all day?
Marjoe! Get in here!
Meet my mom, please!
How do?
I'm Marjoe Saint Sparks
from next door.
Probably checking out my rig.
Don't worry.
It's not a back brace.
It's music...
that you can wear!
I'm in a band.
We're actually both
in the band together,
which means I have to leave now
and go practice.
If you need anything,
you can ask Pazuzu.
I'd like a time machine
and a box of condoms.
Zeb, you have a fantastic energy!
Why don't you come work for me?
Be my ideas man.
Flattered,
but a strong "no, thanks".
I'm retired from the game.
But, hey, here's a free idea.
Cut the dead weight.
Fire Balthazor.
Fire Balthazor.
I mean, super pumpkins?
Come on!
There he goes again. Chumming it up.
Busting my stuff.
Balthazor, a word.
Okay, here's how it's gonna go.
Make your father-in-law
take this job.
I'd love to help out, sir,
but I can't.
Zebulon and I are in a great place
right now,
I don't want to do anything
to mess that up.
Well, in that case...
forget I said anything.
Relationships come first.
Thanks for understanding.
That was sarcasm,
you vagina monologue!
Get him to take this job,
or you're fired!
Sounds great!
Take five, everybody!
Tina, what are you doing?
I've been looking for you everywhere.
Sorry, babe.
I've been saved
by the power of music!
That's great news.
Here's more great news.
Killbride told me
that if I didn't get Zebulon
to accept a job at Petromundo,
I'm fired.
Now you're hitting
the high notes, girl!
I haven't heard that kind of screaming
since I got a tattoo of Cat Stevens
on my pubis!
Yusuf Islam!
All over my peace train!
Here's the best part.
I need you to help me convince your dad
to take the job tonight.
But, babe, we have a gig tonight.
What about my dreams?
Are these your dreams, Tina?
Or are you just running away
from your mother?
Oh, no, Yoko Ono.
I'm not letting you
break up this band.
Put that down, you goose!
Youse gots water in the house!
No, Marjoe.
Balthy's right.
I'm like a teen
runaway in a two-man one-man band,
desperately trying to avoid
my mother's withering criticism.
But if I don't face this demon now,
I'll never stop running.
That is so beautiful
and heartfelt.
I just realized something
pretty darn important, Balthy.
This band comes first.
This band comes first, too!
What are you doin'?
It's time to go
to the Lady Gaga concert!
I can't go, goblin.
I'm sick!
I'm pretty sure I'm dying.
Too sick for disco stick?
I'm afraid so.
I need you to check
my temperature.
You don't seem
to have a temperature!
What are your symptoms?
I have soreness in my head...
and in my heart.
It makes my eyes leak clear stuff,
and I sigh like this...
- Okay, what's goin' on?
- I overheard something.
Something that can change
everything for everyone forever.
Well, that doesn't sound
like such a big deal.
Zebulon is trying
to get Balthazor fired
so Tina and the kids
will be sent home.
But Balthazor said
they were best bestie chums!
Come on.
We've got to save everything!
I'll take that one, medium rare!
I'll have a snowjito, please.
Do you want that
with Jack Frosting on the rim?
If Jack Frosting
is a big fat loser zero,
she's already got one at home.
Zebulon, wouldn't it be fun,
now that we're chumsticks,
for us to work together?
And maybe even carpool?
I think you should take
the job at Petromundo.
If anyone sees anything alcoholic
on or around this table,
hand it to me now!
I have some nail-polish remover
in my purse.
Give it to mommy, Mandy.
I'll do it under one condition...
Beg me.
Zebulon, would you please
take the job at Petromundo?
You've got to sell me on it, boy.
Really make me drop my panties.
Please take the job!
I'm begging you!
That was just louder.
I want to see emotions, man.
Announce to the whole restaurant
that you need your father-in-law
to save your ass because
you are a loser.
Dad, don't do it!
You're not a loser!
Yeah, dad.
You're almost a success...
Sort of.
Plus, there's a really hot guy
at the next table and I wanna seem cool.
- Mandy's right, Balthazor.
- He's not that hot.
We all make sacrifices
for the mission, babe.
This one's mine.
You taste delicious.
Attention, everyone!
Is that Hellman?
What is that crazy S.O.B. up to now?
Attention!
I just wanted everyone here to know
that I am a loser.
And I need
my father-in-law... him...
... to save my ass
because I am a loser.
One more thing.
Geez Louise!
What now?
Say that you're a loser,
just like everyone in your family,
including your loser father.
Dad!
Your horns are showing!
- Mommy, what's happening?
- It's part of the show, Muffin.
Take the job at Petromundo!
Take the job!
Now, that's what I call
a real execution man.
See, Tommy, the big green man
represents Christmas,
and the man he's drowning
represents "other cultures".
Isn't that nice?
Go, Christmas!
Stop all of this insouciance
at once!
What?
Uncle Vlaartark has something
very important to tell you!
Hecubah & Zebulon are trying to get you
fired so your family'll go back to hell,
and he's not your chum,
he's only pretending to like you!
What?
Mom, is this true?
Were you trying
to sabotage Balthazor?
Only so you'd come back to hell.
I missed you and the kids.
You have a funny way of showing it.
Why do you criticize
everything I do?
Because everything you do is wrong.
Now, I love you very much,
so pack your things.
You're going back home
with us right now!
Don't make me put on my smack hands!
You think that scares me?
I will bring the ruckus!
Bring it!
I eat ruckus for breakfast!
I know!
I can see it in your hips
and your thighs!
Stop these shenanigans at once!
Now!
Look, mommy!
It's Santa!
Zebulon! Hecubah!
How dare you defy my powers
with your...
defiance?
You think you know better
than the Dark Lord?
No, your best evilness.
We just thought...
Thinking is for ninnies
and ninny hookers!
I want you back down below at once!
I have an eternity
of torture-room drains
for you to clean...
with Swiffer Wetjet!
Have you ever heard of those?
They're hell... on dirt!
Satan out!
You're crazier
than a crap-house rat.
I really thought
you were gonna kill
your own father-in-law
for your job.
We were just chumming.
Last time I saw chumming like that
was at Ike and Tina's
Christmas throwdown '74.
Talk about decking the halls...
And anything else that talked back.
I thought Zebs
was the most ruthless S.O.B. I ever met,
but you just proved to me
you're an ass ton
more ruthless than him!
I can hang tough when I need to.
So forget about giving him a job.
I'm keeping you.
- He'll need a raise.
- Why not?
You just gave me one.
Well, I missed my Lady Gaga concert.
But coming here helped me
find something way more valuable.
Really?
What's that, Pazuzu?
This gold coin I found
in the men's latrine!
That's no gold coin.
That, my gaga-loving goblin,
is a urinal cake!
What? This is cake?
It is cake!
And it's delicious!
We love you!
What a week!
It's nice to have the house
back to ourselves.
I do miss the fake friendship
I had with your dad.
And I'm sorry you didn't resolve
your issues with your mother.
That's okay.
You know, Balthy, I realized something
pretty dern important.
Family visits can be
a real punch to the snooter,
but I couldn't survive them
without...
our family.
That was so tender.
Just like this T.G.I. Christmas
figgy pudding!
Yummers!
Here, have some.
It's fun to be fed!
Tina, you rascal!
That tickles my nethers!
I'm still over here
at the light switch, Balthy.
That plant sure knows
a choice slab of meat
when it sees one.
Tina, I love you.
I love you, too, hon bun bear.
those curtains 50 times already!
Calm down!
They're filthy!
You calm down!
- You calm down!
- Calm down!
- Calm down!
- Calm d... aah!
What happened to these curtains?
And what happened
to my tri-tiered fruit caddy?
I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you
until you love me
Papa-paparazzi
Pazuzu, we have guests coming!
And now my fruit is just lying there
in an unsorted pile!
Step off, papa-nazzi!
I'm getting ready
for the Lady Gaga concert!
It's all falling apart!
Babe, it's just my parents
coming for a visit.
Why are you so topsy-turvy?
Maybe it has something to do with
the fact that your parents hate my guts!
Balthy.
They don't hate your guts.
Yes, they do.
Remember when your father cried
for 51 days after your nuptials?
Maybe I should just hide in my room.
Tell them I ate some bad cheese
and got the squirts.
I can catch up on Lost.
You need to remember something,
Mr. Man.
You are
the most important demon in hell.
You're our Neo!
Except without the hairless virility
that is Keanu Reeves.
Thanks for the pep talk, guys.
I'm really starting
to get jazzed on myself!
I haven't gotten jazzed on myself
for six whole weeks.
Maybe I should switch hands.
Come on!
That's not cool!
In the car, everyone!
It's time to hit the hellport!
Now that I'm Neo,
I fear nothing.
It's them!
Mee maw!
Pee paw!
Hello, children!
It's been so long
since your father ripped you
from our dark, dark hearts!
Here's your damn gift.
Meat! Meat!
A meat-eating devil plant?
I love him so!
I'll name him Morey!
Meat!
He likes me!
Stay still!
I'll put you out!
No need!
I'm jazzing all over myself!
Mom, dad,
you know Balthazor's allergic
to meat-eating devil plants!
I thought
he was allergic to success.
I apologize.
Meat!
And, of course,
this is the kitchen.
Humans cook everything...
even meat!
- Meat!
- Earth food must be delicious.
You're certainly filling out.
Let's do it again!
Excuse me, children.
What are you holding in your hands?
A baseball glove?
My life.
Those are objects
of earthly banality!
They will destroy your soul!
Mom,
put them down right now!
We do not jack in this family!
That's right.
We only spank.
This is the grill.
I'm impressed.
You've done very well for yourself,
Balthazor.
How is it going at work
with the mission?
It's good.
I'm making inroads with the boss.
We have frozen yogurt machines
and piranha tanks on every floor.
Yogurt machines?
I'd love to see that.
You would?
You want to go to the office now?
As long as
it doesn't jam up your plans.
Are you kidding?
I want you to jam me up all day long!
I'll go get my keys.
I know you're undercover,
but you have to be careful,
or you'll become the thing
you're trying to take down.
Look what happened
to Donnie Brasco.
Have you seen
my psoriasis medication?
In the wheelie luggage!
I looked there!
In the zipper part!
What zipper part?
For Lucifer's sake!
That man would lose his tail
if it wasn't attached.
Hiyooo, Tina girl!
Look!
I'm a one-man band!
You could say I've been playing with
myself ever since Brad went on Zoloft.
- What's wrong, girl?
- My mother came to visit.
And she keeps putting me down.
Nothing I do seems right to her.
That crazy bitch needs to get
her bitch ass out of town!
You got the mother-daughter blues
M-o-t-h-e-r d-a-u-g-h-t-e-r blues!
You need to join my one-man blues band
to get your mind right.
Suddenly, hanging out with my mom
doesn't seem so bad.
Thanks for that.
Bye!
Not the blue zipper part.
The red zipper part.
We need to move fast.
The situation is worse
than I thought with the children.
Cellphones?
Baseball mitts?
Makes me want to bathe
in my own sick!
Don't worry, dark dearest.
I just got Balthadope
to invite me to his office.
And once I'm done there,
he will be, too.
Zebulon!
Then Tina and the kids
can come home with us.
You're a dark genius.
Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear!
A scrupley conundrum
that's not so much fundrum.
And here's another piranha tank.
And a yogurt station.
This one's my favorite
because they have sugar-free.
It's very slimming.
Looks delicious.
Zebulon!
That's not a topping!
Hellman,
who the Huck Finn is this,
and why is he deep-throating
one of my prized piranhas?
This is my father-in-law...
Zebulon.
He's mercury deficient.
Let me try that.
We've got a new topping!
Where's my Blackbarry?
I need to remember that.
Piranha popings.
Got it, sir.
I've got 3,000 tons
of toxic sunscreen to unload.
It's jammed with steroids
like my Blackbarry.
Day one, huge muscles.
Day two, death.
Ideas. Now.
Repackage it...
as a nutritious kurdish
breakfast cereal.
You can call them kurd-flakes.
Light bulb moment!
What if we feed it to our crops
and grow super pumpkins?
We'd really clean up at Halloween.
Speaking of Halloween,
do you want to borrow
my vagina costume?
Oh, wait.
You don't need it.
We're going with Zeb's idea.
I like the cut of your jib, Z-pack.
Swing by the office. We can play
some Russian roulette with my tiger.
Zebulon, what are you doing?
You almost got me
in trouble there.
What? I was just giving you
some razzmatazz.
Like chums do.
We're chums?
Of course we are.
You're a hero now.
Mad respect.
Mad respect back to you, sir.
Awesome.
You look tired.
Is Balthazor's failure
keeping you up at night?
Funny, you don't have a job!
But it looks like
you're too busy for housework.
You have an eyelash under your eye.
Wait. I was wrong.
It was a new wrinkle.
Isn't it amazing that
you have a degree in demonomics
and all you do
is sit around all day?
Marjoe! Get in here!
Meet my mom, please!
How do?
I'm Marjoe Saint Sparks
from next door.
Probably checking out my rig.
Don't worry.
It's not a back brace.
It's music...
that you can wear!
I'm in a band.
We're actually both
in the band together,
which means I have to leave now
and go practice.
If you need anything,
you can ask Pazuzu.
I'd like a time machine
and a box of condoms.
Zeb, you have a fantastic energy!
Why don't you come work for me?
Be my ideas man.
Flattered,
but a strong "no, thanks".
I'm retired from the game.
But, hey, here's a free idea.
Cut the dead weight.
Fire Balthazor.
Fire Balthazor.
I mean, super pumpkins?
Come on!
There he goes again. Chumming it up.
Busting my stuff.
Balthazor, a word.
Okay, here's how it's gonna go.
Make your father-in-law
take this job.
I'd love to help out, sir,
but I can't.
Zebulon and I are in a great place
right now,
I don't want to do anything
to mess that up.
Well, in that case...
forget I said anything.
Relationships come first.
Thanks for understanding.
That was sarcasm,
you vagina monologue!
Get him to take this job,
or you're fired!
Sounds great!
Take five, everybody!
Tina, what are you doing?
I've been looking for you everywhere.
Sorry, babe.
I've been saved
by the power of music!
That's great news.
Here's more great news.
Killbride told me
that if I didn't get Zebulon
to accept a job at Petromundo,
I'm fired.
Now you're hitting
the high notes, girl!
I haven't heard that kind of screaming
since I got a tattoo of Cat Stevens
on my pubis!
Yusuf Islam!
All over my peace train!
Here's the best part.
I need you to help me convince your dad
to take the job tonight.
But, babe, we have a gig tonight.
What about my dreams?
Are these your dreams, Tina?
Or are you just running away
from your mother?
Oh, no, Yoko Ono.
I'm not letting you
break up this band.
Put that down, you goose!
Youse gots water in the house!
No, Marjoe.
Balthy's right.
I'm like a teen
runaway in a two-man one-man band,
desperately trying to avoid
my mother's withering criticism.
But if I don't face this demon now,
I'll never stop running.
That is so beautiful
and heartfelt.
I just realized something
pretty darn important, Balthy.
This band comes first.
This band comes first, too!
What are you doin'?
It's time to go
to the Lady Gaga concert!
I can't go, goblin.
I'm sick!
I'm pretty sure I'm dying.
Too sick for disco stick?
I'm afraid so.
I need you to check
my temperature.
You don't seem
to have a temperature!
What are your symptoms?
I have soreness in my head...
and in my heart.
It makes my eyes leak clear stuff,
and I sigh like this...
- Okay, what's goin' on?
- I overheard something.
Something that can change
everything for everyone forever.
Well, that doesn't sound
like such a big deal.
Zebulon is trying
to get Balthazor fired
so Tina and the kids
will be sent home.
But Balthazor said
they were best bestie chums!
Come on.
We've got to save everything!
I'll take that one, medium rare!
I'll have a snowjito, please.
Do you want that
with Jack Frosting on the rim?
If Jack Frosting
is a big fat loser zero,
she's already got one at home.
Zebulon, wouldn't it be fun,
now that we're chumsticks,
for us to work together?
And maybe even carpool?
I think you should take
the job at Petromundo.
If anyone sees anything alcoholic
on or around this table,
hand it to me now!
I have some nail-polish remover
in my purse.
Give it to mommy, Mandy.
I'll do it under one condition...
Beg me.
Zebulon, would you please
take the job at Petromundo?
You've got to sell me on it, boy.
Really make me drop my panties.
Please take the job!
I'm begging you!
That was just louder.
I want to see emotions, man.
Announce to the whole restaurant
that you need your father-in-law
to save your ass because
you are a loser.
Dad, don't do it!
You're not a loser!
Yeah, dad.
You're almost a success...
Sort of.
Plus, there's a really hot guy
at the next table and I wanna seem cool.
- Mandy's right, Balthazor.
- He's not that hot.
We all make sacrifices
for the mission, babe.
This one's mine.
You taste delicious.
Attention, everyone!
Is that Hellman?
What is that crazy S.O.B. up to now?
Attention!
I just wanted everyone here to know
that I am a loser.
And I need
my father-in-law... him...
... to save my ass
because I am a loser.
One more thing.
Geez Louise!
What now?
Say that you're a loser,
just like everyone in your family,
including your loser father.
Dad!
Your horns are showing!
- Mommy, what's happening?
- It's part of the show, Muffin.
Take the job at Petromundo!
Take the job!
Now, that's what I call
a real execution man.
See, Tommy, the big green man
represents Christmas,
and the man he's drowning
represents "other cultures".
Isn't that nice?
Go, Christmas!
Stop all of this insouciance
at once!
What?
Uncle Vlaartark has something
very important to tell you!
Hecubah & Zebulon are trying to get you
fired so your family'll go back to hell,
and he's not your chum,
he's only pretending to like you!
What?
Mom, is this true?
Were you trying
to sabotage Balthazor?
Only so you'd come back to hell.
I missed you and the kids.
You have a funny way of showing it.
Why do you criticize
everything I do?
Because everything you do is wrong.
Now, I love you very much,
so pack your things.
You're going back home
with us right now!
Don't make me put on my smack hands!
You think that scares me?
I will bring the ruckus!
Bring it!
I eat ruckus for breakfast!
I know!
I can see it in your hips
and your thighs!
Stop these shenanigans at once!
Now!
Look, mommy!
It's Santa!
Zebulon! Hecubah!
How dare you defy my powers
with your...
defiance?
You think you know better
than the Dark Lord?
No, your best evilness.
We just thought...
Thinking is for ninnies
and ninny hookers!
I want you back down below at once!
I have an eternity
of torture-room drains
for you to clean...
with Swiffer Wetjet!
Have you ever heard of those?
They're hell... on dirt!
Satan out!
You're crazier
than a crap-house rat.
I really thought
you were gonna kill
your own father-in-law
for your job.
We were just chumming.
Last time I saw chumming like that
was at Ike and Tina's
Christmas throwdown '74.
Talk about decking the halls...
And anything else that talked back.
I thought Zebs
was the most ruthless S.O.B. I ever met,
but you just proved to me
you're an ass ton
more ruthless than him!
I can hang tough when I need to.
So forget about giving him a job.
I'm keeping you.
- He'll need a raise.
- Why not?
You just gave me one.
Well, I missed my Lady Gaga concert.
But coming here helped me
find something way more valuable.
Really?
What's that, Pazuzu?
This gold coin I found
in the men's latrine!
That's no gold coin.
That, my gaga-loving goblin,
is a urinal cake!
What? This is cake?
It is cake!
And it's delicious!
We love you!
What a week!
It's nice to have the house
back to ourselves.
I do miss the fake friendship
I had with your dad.
And I'm sorry you didn't resolve
your issues with your mother.
That's okay.
You know, Balthy, I realized something
pretty dern important.
Family visits can be
a real punch to the snooter,
but I couldn't survive them
without...
our family.
That was so tender.
Just like this T.G.I. Christmas
figgy pudding!
Yummers!
Here, have some.
It's fun to be fed!
Tina, you rascal!
That tickles my nethers!
I'm still over here
at the light switch, Balthy.
That plant sure knows
a choice slab of meat
when it sees one.
Tina, I love you.
I love you, too, hon bun bear.