My Name Is Earl (2005–2009): Season 4, Episode 2 - Monkeys Take a Bath - full transcript
When they were kids, Earl and Randy once saw their rather sensitive neighbor Clark Clark cry and decided to play tricks on him (like giving him a newspaper stating the suicide rate under babies has increased) just to see him cry again. Not much later, he and his wife moved. Now, Earl wants to make up for this and he visits Clark Clark to apologize and ask him what he can do to cross him off the list. Clark then tells Earl the reason he moved wasn't the pranks, it was because he had sex with Earl's mother! Shocked, Earl goes to his parent's house and confronts his mum. When his dad finds out, he moves in with Earl and sets out for revenge by having a one-night-stand as well.
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Proudly Presents YTET- ?????
my
name is earl.S04E02
When dad called to say
that we need to come by
and pick up all our old stuff,
I didn't realize we were
going to have tobuyit back.
Your father said you could
have everything for $64.73.
I tried to talk him down,but
he seemed pretty firm.
Hey,look! It's
Milo. Remember him?
Mom and Dad got him for me
'cause halways tells the truth.
"Hi,Earl. Remember that time
you got real drunk
and pooped in bed?"
That is true.
Embarrassing but true.
Yeah. I never
really liked Milo.
Ah! Darnell,check it out!
It's one of them IQ machines.
Try to get the ball in the furthest
hole and,if you do,you're a genius.
I used to playhis at the mall
when we would skip school.
I was the only one that
could get genius every time.
They called me
"The Ball Genius."
In the seventh grade,that
name took on a new meaning,
but this is where
it all started.
****
*****
******
*******
what are you doing?
i'm not stealing it.
i'm just going to hold on to
it so nobody buys this thing.
couple of hours,they'll be
begging usto takit off their hands.
"ball genius."
see? this is why i don't
go to yard sales with you.
hey,earl,i'm trying to decide between
buying the lawn darts or our old baby teeth.
the lawn darts are more fun,
but our baby teeth
are more practical.
seeing those lawn darts was
karma's way of telling me
it was time to
do #87 on my list:
"chased away mom
and dad's friends."
back in the '80s,our
next-door neighbors,cathy
and clark clark,were my
parents' best friends.
hey,have you guys seen this new
"we are the world" short film on
that music television video channel?
i think spiders heat
up faster than ants.
i'm good at this,randy.
maybe iwillbe a scientist.
that would be awesome,earl.
"randy forgot to wipe
earlier."name is ear l
i mean,all those
poor,starving children,
and... and all those
musicians with their
different musical styles--
bob dylan,dan aykroyd--
and they're all coming
together,and they're all harmonizing
for... for humanity.
what tool.
seeing a grown man shed
actual tears was hilarious,
and,once we saw
it,we had to see more.
poor birdies!
dead birds were so much fun,
we took it up a notch,and found a place
at the mall that made fake newspapers.
why are babies
killing themselves?
but,eventually,we
pushed him too far.
later that afternoon,
clark realized he just
couldn't take it anymore.
all i know is is he was
real upset about something.
he was so emotional,i couldn't
understand what he was talking about.
it just doesn't make any sense.
people just don't
move in one day.
something's going on here.
"oh,randy tortured mr.
clark and made him cry."
come on,randy.
we need to go find the clarks.
"randy touches
himself sometimes."
shh! easy,buddy.
hey,hey,hey,hey!
you don't want that.
it's all jacked up,and it
ain't got no marble on it.
not a problem.
that's a straight-up,street-balling
move right there,willy.
you're like the karl
malone of mailmen.
how much,
$3.25.
uh-uh. no. that's mine.
i had my eye on it way
before you had your eye on it.
i'll go $4.00.
- $4.25.
- $4.68.
- $5.00.
- darnell,how much money you got on you?
$45. but we gotta stop and get
dodge's asthma medicine,so more like...
$45.00!
sold.
oh,hell to the no.
this was on there when
we were bidding on it.
if you wanted your
fake peeper back,
shouldn't have driven
up the price so high.
every day's a new adventure.
wasn't that hard
to find mr. clark.
he was the only clark
clark in the phone book,
and they only
moved one town over.
guys,i appreciate
what you're doing,
but you weren't
the reason we moved.
we weren't?
i really... i can't
say why we moved.
but... but you know what?
i have lived with
this for too long,
and maybe it's time that
i got it off my chest.
we moved because your
mother and i had an affair.
mom?
hey,boys. you
want some cookies?
i've got hot snickerdoodles.
you know what i want
more than cookies,mom?
i want to know why you
had sex with mr. clark.
i'd prefer the snickerdoodles.
who told you about
me and clark clark?
clark clark.
clark clark.
damn you,clark clark!
apparently,dad was always working,and
clark's wife was always at self-defense class,
so they kept each
other company,
but just as friends
until the a&p
had a le on wine coolers.
do you have any queens?
you are the only
queen that i can see.
go fish.
do you have any twos?
i've got two lonely lips
and two supple breasts.
why don't you come on over
here anfish around for them?
the next day,mom was
ashamed of herself,
and broke things off.
ka no. please.
you are the most generous
lover i have even known.
oh... cathy just rolls over and goes
to sleep after she getshertinglies.
what we did was wrong,clark.
it was a moment of weakness.
it was a mistake.
your husband is the
one making the mistake.
he doesn't take care
of you like i would.
look! he doesn't even have
your storm windows up yet!
your father's home!
anyone want to tell me
why the clarks are moving?
i tried to talk to him,
but all he'd do is tell me i
need to put up storm windows.
is there a hurricane coming?
all i know is he
wasrealupset about something.
he was so emotional,
i couldn't understand
what he was saying.
doesn't make any sense.
people don't just
move in one day.
you need to tell dad.
your fatr is no angel,you know.
i once found a hooters receipt
in his jean jacket pocket.
look,no one knows what it's like
to be cheated on more than i do.
dad deserves to know.
dad deserves to know what?
"oh,carl,wait until you hear
this.apparently,your wife..."
what the hell is going on?
what was the puppet
talking about?
mom?
carl,do you rember 1985?
my wife's a whore!
all neighbors are welcome!
line forms at the garage!
when you're little,and
your parents split up,
they decide who gets you.
when you're adults,and
they split up,
you decide who gets them.
i got dad.
women! you're with
them for 40 years!
you learn the special
way to fold the towels!
you go see neal sedaka
at the civic center!
you even put up one
of those piece of crap
thomas kincaid paintings
in the bedroom-- andor what?
i hear ya! you steal
for them,fight for them,
they still hand you a
different-colored baby
from a different-colored
father. bitches.
- bitches!
- and clark clark.
who the hell doe
he think he is,
sticking it to my
mother? your wife?
he's lucky you
don't kick his ass!
oh,he's lucky,all right.
but his luck just ran out.
i'm going to make him wish
he went across the street
and banged mrs. henderson.
let's do this!
i know this isn't
a time to brag,
but ididbang mrs. henderson.
why did you stop?
keep doing what you
were doing in the car.
sorry. it's the
eye of the tiger
it's the thrill of
the fight,rising up
to the challenge
of a rival,and the
last known survivor
stalks his prey in the night...
carl!
hi,cathy. is clark here?
yeah! he's doing a
puzzle the sun room.
how are you?
great. can you just
get clark,please?
sure.
rising up,back on the streets
did my time
took my chances
went the distance,now
i'm back on my...
here he comes.
carl,listen.
what the hell is
wrong with you?!
he's half your size!
it's the eye of the tiger
it's the thrill of the fight
rising up to the challenge
of a rival
you!
...of the tiger
the eye of the tiger.
my nosstopped bleeding.
but i think i ruined my sock.
well,at least you got
to punch clark clark.
you got your revenge.
man,i'm jealous.
that's got to feel
pretty good,huh?
actually,no.
i don't feel any
different at all.
and you know why?
'cause i'm not really
mad at clark clark.
i'm mad at your mother.
that's who i should
be getting revenge on.
dad,don't fight mom.
you already got your ass
kicked by one woman today.
i'm not fighting your mother.
if i'm going to feel
better,i ne real revenge.
an eye for an eye!
i need to get laid!
damn it. swear to god
i used to be able to do
this drunk when i was a kid.
stop eyeballing me,willie.
if you want this
back,fork over the cash.
last night she took a shower,and
she left it on the sink.
i tried to grab it for you,
but it was staring at me and
i got a little freaked out.
if she puts it down again,it's
looking the other way
i'll give it another shot.
i know it was wrong,i do,
but it's not like he
didn't push me there.
he was never home.
and when he
was,well,let,let's just say
your father does not know
his way around a woman's body.
he's got two moves.
squeeze the charmin and
poke around down there
like he's trying
to pop a balloon.
yeah,that guy sure is
terrible at touching moms.
hey,know what might
make us feel better--
not talking about this stuff.
i mean,what do i have to
do,draw him a map of my vagina?
oops. i'll go get
us more drinks.
okay.
i'm gonna tinkle.
randy,you look stressed.
what's the matter,punkin'?
there words on the
menu you're stuck on?
if i tell you,
you promise not
to say anything?
well,well,well.
fee,fi,fum,fo,
i smell the stink
of a stank-ass ho.
oh,god.
who's the cheatin' piece of trash strumpet who
doesn't deserve to have the same last name as you now?
that's right. i read
your christmas letters.
leave me alone!
i'm just saying we
might've gotten along
if we'd a own we both can't
be satisfied by hickey men.
i am nothing like you!
damn it,you got
me with your heel!
maybe i had one
moment of weakness,
butyou,you made
cheating a lifestyle.
i love my husband.
he does the best he can.
great.
darnell,get me a rag!
somebody kicked me in the
face in the bathroom again!
there she is.
if your mother thinks
she's the only one
with sexual
options,she is mistaken.
once again,dad,i
- i gotta say
i'm a little
conflicted about this.
next.
hello,brenda.
carl. i like your shirt.
well,according to you
on numerous occasions,
this color brings out
the blue in my eyes.
makes 'em sparkle.
what can i do for you today?
today...
today i'd like to open
a separate account,
one that would be
separate from my wife.
perhaps one that i could
use to pay for dinner for two
at casa de maison
with somebody that
likes... blue eyes?
next.
oh,y-you can go.
i'm just watching my
dad try to get laid.
look,uh...
i'm sorry if i sent
the wrong message,
but i was just
trying to be nice.
it's jt customer service.
with a face like
that,who needs hair?
so...
just to be clear,
you're,uh...
not interested in...
having sexual
relations with me?
no.
i'd like to close
my account,please.
our first stop was a disaster,
but dad assured me
that the bank teller
wasn't the only woman in
town who flirted with him.
next.
hello,diana.
there mmyy ncaamrle.is e ar l
i'd like a box of
your largest condoms,
ribbed for her pleasure,
and when i say "her," i might
just be talking about you.
...gotta go again.
take off my other sock.
dad said there was
one other woman in town
who flirted with him--the
waitress at the diner.
so we headed over to
give him one more chance.
you stay here. i
think those other women
would've been game if i
hadn't had my son with me.
i think it creeped
them out a little.
i wanted dad to
feel better,but...
i was hoping he
wouldn't find a girl.
i was also hoping he
didn't get hit again,'cause
he was outta socks and i'd
been wearing mine for a week.
she's coming out as
soon as she freshens up.
i told i'm running across
the street for condoms.
d
- dad.dad! dad! wait.
we,we really should
talk about this.
i
- i don't know if i'm cool with this actually happening.
patty?
hey,hey,earl.
when did you
start working here?
oh,a couple of months
ago. i had to pick up
a second job. my hooking
took a bit of a hit
when bush monkeyed with the
daylight savings schedule.
i'll be needing these
for use this evening
with a young lady who delivers
on the promises she
makes with her eyes.
i thought you need the
largest kind we had.
just ring it up,pecker tease.
listen,i just don't know
that sex with a hooker's
what my dad's looking for.
n
- not that you're not great.
i've heard wonderful things.
thanks.
word of mouth is very
important in my line of work.
it's right uthere with eye
contact and concealing sores.
hello.
i see you met my son.
i just had to run across the
street for a few personal items,
anda little something for you.
thank you.
oh,they have nuts in them.
that's sweet,but some of
my clientsave allergies
so i need to keep this
a peanut-free zone.
dad,
patty's a hooker.
no. no,no,no,she's not.
she's a waitress. a
waitress who flirts with me.
daytime hooker,nighttime
waitress.
damn it! this was not how
this was supposed to work.
it's not revenge sex
if i have to pay for it!
if you change your mind,
sometimes i have
coupons inthe penny saver
it says "massage," but...
i'm not changing my mind!
alright,so the
chicks didn't work t.
forget the chicks.
i say we go back
to clark clark's,
but this time we bring a bat.
we do it when his
wife's at work.
why did she do this to me?
why did she make
me feel this way?
there were two things
i could've sworn
i'd never see
withy own eyes--
a real bear carrying
a picnic basket,
and my dad crying.
i was taught from a young
age that hickey men don't cry.
don't cry,or i'll give
you something to cry about.
and no matter what happened,
he always made sure i
nevesaw him shed a tear.
damn it.
earl,go get me my
reading glasses.
i have to look
for my fingertip.
whatever life dished out,he
always remained strong.
well,my mom's dd.
pass the corn.
a funny thing happens
when the man you look
up to your whole life
breaks his own rules and cries.
it finally
givesyoupermission to.
everything with joy
happened so long ago,
but all this stuff with
mom makes it hurt again.
that's what i'm afraid of.
it's never gonna go away.
so we cried.
together.
we even tried talking
about how we felt,
which was hard for mdad
and the son he raised
to ignore his feelings.
it's like someone
took out my stomach.
i don't even know why.
stomped on it. that's
what it feels like.
yeah,but not with a sneaker.
with something worse.
like a golf shoe.
i don't know golf
shoes. are they heavy?
no,but they got
spikes on the bottoms.
oh,then,yeah,dad,that's
what it feels like.
a golf shoe.
right.
and the more honest we
were about how we felt,
the more honest we
became about everything.
if i just wouldn't've
spent so much time at work.
no! do not blame yourself.
i will not stand here and
let you blame yourself.
i'm not saying what
they did wasn't wrong,
but i will say they're
not the only ones to blame.
okay,now you're
bringing some stuff up
i'm not sure i'm ready to hear.
after a whole night of crying,
and more hugging than
i'd like to admit,
we discovered
something unexpected.
i think i feel better.
me,too.
anger's a heavy
burden to carry,
but dad realized that revenge
didn't make it any lighter.
forgiveness did.
and forgiveness lightened
the burd of guilt,too.
and if it worked
for mom and dad,
maybe it could work for me,too.
joy.
i!forgive you for
cheating on me.
good,'cause i'd do it
again in a heartbeat.
now move,you're
standing in my light.
forgiveness was a
peaceful feeling.
i felt calm.
more focused.
i can't say if my words
made joy feel the same,
but i like to
think it might have.
i did it! i did it!
genius!
and maybe by forgiving
her,i showed her
that there's room in your heart
for things other than revenge.
that sometimes it's far
better to give an eye
than to take an eye.
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Proudly Presents YTET- ?????
thank you.
Proudly Presents YTET- ?????
my
name is earl.S04E02
When dad called to say
that we need to come by
and pick up all our old stuff,
I didn't realize we were
going to have tobuyit back.
Your father said you could
have everything for $64.73.
I tried to talk him down,but
he seemed pretty firm.
Hey,look! It's
Milo. Remember him?
Mom and Dad got him for me
'cause halways tells the truth.
"Hi,Earl. Remember that time
you got real drunk
and pooped in bed?"
That is true.
Embarrassing but true.
Yeah. I never
really liked Milo.
Ah! Darnell,check it out!
It's one of them IQ machines.
Try to get the ball in the furthest
hole and,if you do,you're a genius.
I used to playhis at the mall
when we would skip school.
I was the only one that
could get genius every time.
They called me
"The Ball Genius."
In the seventh grade,that
name took on a new meaning,
but this is where
it all started.
****
*****
******
*******
what are you doing?
i'm not stealing it.
i'm just going to hold on to
it so nobody buys this thing.
couple of hours,they'll be
begging usto takit off their hands.
"ball genius."
see? this is why i don't
go to yard sales with you.
hey,earl,i'm trying to decide between
buying the lawn darts or our old baby teeth.
the lawn darts are more fun,
but our baby teeth
are more practical.
seeing those lawn darts was
karma's way of telling me
it was time to
do #87 on my list:
"chased away mom
and dad's friends."
back in the '80s,our
next-door neighbors,cathy
and clark clark,were my
parents' best friends.
hey,have you guys seen this new
"we are the world" short film on
that music television video channel?
i think spiders heat
up faster than ants.
i'm good at this,randy.
maybe iwillbe a scientist.
that would be awesome,earl.
"randy forgot to wipe
earlier."name is ear l
i mean,all those
poor,starving children,
and... and all those
musicians with their
different musical styles--
bob dylan,dan aykroyd--
and they're all coming
together,and they're all harmonizing
for... for humanity.
what tool.
seeing a grown man shed
actual tears was hilarious,
and,once we saw
it,we had to see more.
poor birdies!
dead birds were so much fun,
we took it up a notch,and found a place
at the mall that made fake newspapers.
why are babies
killing themselves?
but,eventually,we
pushed him too far.
later that afternoon,
clark realized he just
couldn't take it anymore.
all i know is is he was
real upset about something.
he was so emotional,i couldn't
understand what he was talking about.
it just doesn't make any sense.
people just don't
move in one day.
something's going on here.
"oh,randy tortured mr.
clark and made him cry."
come on,randy.
we need to go find the clarks.
"randy touches
himself sometimes."
shh! easy,buddy.
hey,hey,hey,hey!
you don't want that.
it's all jacked up,and it
ain't got no marble on it.
not a problem.
that's a straight-up,street-balling
move right there,willy.
you're like the karl
malone of mailmen.
how much,
$3.25.
uh-uh. no. that's mine.
i had my eye on it way
before you had your eye on it.
i'll go $4.00.
- $4.25.
- $4.68.
- $5.00.
- darnell,how much money you got on you?
$45. but we gotta stop and get
dodge's asthma medicine,so more like...
$45.00!
sold.
oh,hell to the no.
this was on there when
we were bidding on it.
if you wanted your
fake peeper back,
shouldn't have driven
up the price so high.
every day's a new adventure.
wasn't that hard
to find mr. clark.
he was the only clark
clark in the phone book,
and they only
moved one town over.
guys,i appreciate
what you're doing,
but you weren't
the reason we moved.
we weren't?
i really... i can't
say why we moved.
but... but you know what?
i have lived with
this for too long,
and maybe it's time that
i got it off my chest.
we moved because your
mother and i had an affair.
mom?
hey,boys. you
want some cookies?
i've got hot snickerdoodles.
you know what i want
more than cookies,mom?
i want to know why you
had sex with mr. clark.
i'd prefer the snickerdoodles.
who told you about
me and clark clark?
clark clark.
clark clark.
damn you,clark clark!
apparently,dad was always working,and
clark's wife was always at self-defense class,
so they kept each
other company,
but just as friends
until the a&p
had a le on wine coolers.
do you have any queens?
you are the only
queen that i can see.
go fish.
do you have any twos?
i've got two lonely lips
and two supple breasts.
why don't you come on over
here anfish around for them?
the next day,mom was
ashamed of herself,
and broke things off.
ka no. please.
you are the most generous
lover i have even known.
oh... cathy just rolls over and goes
to sleep after she getshertinglies.
what we did was wrong,clark.
it was a moment of weakness.
it was a mistake.
your husband is the
one making the mistake.
he doesn't take care
of you like i would.
look! he doesn't even have
your storm windows up yet!
your father's home!
anyone want to tell me
why the clarks are moving?
i tried to talk to him,
but all he'd do is tell me i
need to put up storm windows.
is there a hurricane coming?
all i know is he
wasrealupset about something.
he was so emotional,
i couldn't understand
what he was saying.
doesn't make any sense.
people don't just
move in one day.
you need to tell dad.
your fatr is no angel,you know.
i once found a hooters receipt
in his jean jacket pocket.
look,no one knows what it's like
to be cheated on more than i do.
dad deserves to know.
dad deserves to know what?
"oh,carl,wait until you hear
this.apparently,your wife..."
what the hell is going on?
what was the puppet
talking about?
mom?
carl,do you rember 1985?
my wife's a whore!
all neighbors are welcome!
line forms at the garage!
when you're little,and
your parents split up,
they decide who gets you.
when you're adults,and
they split up,
you decide who gets them.
i got dad.
women! you're with
them for 40 years!
you learn the special
way to fold the towels!
you go see neal sedaka
at the civic center!
you even put up one
of those piece of crap
thomas kincaid paintings
in the bedroom-- andor what?
i hear ya! you steal
for them,fight for them,
they still hand you a
different-colored baby
from a different-colored
father. bitches.
- bitches!
- and clark clark.
who the hell doe
he think he is,
sticking it to my
mother? your wife?
he's lucky you
don't kick his ass!
oh,he's lucky,all right.
but his luck just ran out.
i'm going to make him wish
he went across the street
and banged mrs. henderson.
let's do this!
i know this isn't
a time to brag,
but ididbang mrs. henderson.
why did you stop?
keep doing what you
were doing in the car.
sorry. it's the
eye of the tiger
it's the thrill of
the fight,rising up
to the challenge
of a rival,and the
last known survivor
stalks his prey in the night...
carl!
hi,cathy. is clark here?
yeah! he's doing a
puzzle the sun room.
how are you?
great. can you just
get clark,please?
sure.
rising up,back on the streets
did my time
took my chances
went the distance,now
i'm back on my...
here he comes.
carl,listen.
what the hell is
wrong with you?!
he's half your size!
it's the eye of the tiger
it's the thrill of the fight
rising up to the challenge
of a rival
you!
...of the tiger
the eye of the tiger.
my nosstopped bleeding.
but i think i ruined my sock.
well,at least you got
to punch clark clark.
you got your revenge.
man,i'm jealous.
that's got to feel
pretty good,huh?
actually,no.
i don't feel any
different at all.
and you know why?
'cause i'm not really
mad at clark clark.
i'm mad at your mother.
that's who i should
be getting revenge on.
dad,don't fight mom.
you already got your ass
kicked by one woman today.
i'm not fighting your mother.
if i'm going to feel
better,i ne real revenge.
an eye for an eye!
i need to get laid!
damn it. swear to god
i used to be able to do
this drunk when i was a kid.
stop eyeballing me,willie.
if you want this
back,fork over the cash.
last night she took a shower,and
she left it on the sink.
i tried to grab it for you,
but it was staring at me and
i got a little freaked out.
if she puts it down again,it's
looking the other way
i'll give it another shot.
i know it was wrong,i do,
but it's not like he
didn't push me there.
he was never home.
and when he
was,well,let,let's just say
your father does not know
his way around a woman's body.
he's got two moves.
squeeze the charmin and
poke around down there
like he's trying
to pop a balloon.
yeah,that guy sure is
terrible at touching moms.
hey,know what might
make us feel better--
not talking about this stuff.
i mean,what do i have to
do,draw him a map of my vagina?
oops. i'll go get
us more drinks.
okay.
i'm gonna tinkle.
randy,you look stressed.
what's the matter,punkin'?
there words on the
menu you're stuck on?
if i tell you,
you promise not
to say anything?
well,well,well.
fee,fi,fum,fo,
i smell the stink
of a stank-ass ho.
oh,god.
who's the cheatin' piece of trash strumpet who
doesn't deserve to have the same last name as you now?
that's right. i read
your christmas letters.
leave me alone!
i'm just saying we
might've gotten along
if we'd a own we both can't
be satisfied by hickey men.
i am nothing like you!
damn it,you got
me with your heel!
maybe i had one
moment of weakness,
butyou,you made
cheating a lifestyle.
i love my husband.
he does the best he can.
great.
darnell,get me a rag!
somebody kicked me in the
face in the bathroom again!
there she is.
if your mother thinks
she's the only one
with sexual
options,she is mistaken.
once again,dad,i
- i gotta say
i'm a little
conflicted about this.
next.
hello,brenda.
carl. i like your shirt.
well,according to you
on numerous occasions,
this color brings out
the blue in my eyes.
makes 'em sparkle.
what can i do for you today?
today...
today i'd like to open
a separate account,
one that would be
separate from my wife.
perhaps one that i could
use to pay for dinner for two
at casa de maison
with somebody that
likes... blue eyes?
next.
oh,y-you can go.
i'm just watching my
dad try to get laid.
look,uh...
i'm sorry if i sent
the wrong message,
but i was just
trying to be nice.
it's jt customer service.
with a face like
that,who needs hair?
so...
just to be clear,
you're,uh...
not interested in...
having sexual
relations with me?
no.
i'd like to close
my account,please.
our first stop was a disaster,
but dad assured me
that the bank teller
wasn't the only woman in
town who flirted with him.
next.
hello,diana.
there mmyy ncaamrle.is e ar l
i'd like a box of
your largest condoms,
ribbed for her pleasure,
and when i say "her," i might
just be talking about you.
...gotta go again.
take off my other sock.
dad said there was
one other woman in town
who flirted with him--the
waitress at the diner.
so we headed over to
give him one more chance.
you stay here. i
think those other women
would've been game if i
hadn't had my son with me.
i think it creeped
them out a little.
i wanted dad to
feel better,but...
i was hoping he
wouldn't find a girl.
i was also hoping he
didn't get hit again,'cause
he was outta socks and i'd
been wearing mine for a week.
she's coming out as
soon as she freshens up.
i told i'm running across
the street for condoms.
d
- dad.dad! dad! wait.
we,we really should
talk about this.
i
- i don't know if i'm cool with this actually happening.
patty?
hey,hey,earl.
when did you
start working here?
oh,a couple of months
ago. i had to pick up
a second job. my hooking
took a bit of a hit
when bush monkeyed with the
daylight savings schedule.
i'll be needing these
for use this evening
with a young lady who delivers
on the promises she
makes with her eyes.
i thought you need the
largest kind we had.
just ring it up,pecker tease.
listen,i just don't know
that sex with a hooker's
what my dad's looking for.
n
- not that you're not great.
i've heard wonderful things.
thanks.
word of mouth is very
important in my line of work.
it's right uthere with eye
contact and concealing sores.
hello.
i see you met my son.
i just had to run across the
street for a few personal items,
anda little something for you.
thank you.
oh,they have nuts in them.
that's sweet,but some of
my clientsave allergies
so i need to keep this
a peanut-free zone.
dad,
patty's a hooker.
no. no,no,no,she's not.
she's a waitress. a
waitress who flirts with me.
daytime hooker,nighttime
waitress.
damn it! this was not how
this was supposed to work.
it's not revenge sex
if i have to pay for it!
if you change your mind,
sometimes i have
coupons inthe penny saver
it says "massage," but...
i'm not changing my mind!
alright,so the
chicks didn't work t.
forget the chicks.
i say we go back
to clark clark's,
but this time we bring a bat.
we do it when his
wife's at work.
why did she do this to me?
why did she make
me feel this way?
there were two things
i could've sworn
i'd never see
withy own eyes--
a real bear carrying
a picnic basket,
and my dad crying.
i was taught from a young
age that hickey men don't cry.
don't cry,or i'll give
you something to cry about.
and no matter what happened,
he always made sure i
nevesaw him shed a tear.
damn it.
earl,go get me my
reading glasses.
i have to look
for my fingertip.
whatever life dished out,he
always remained strong.
well,my mom's dd.
pass the corn.
a funny thing happens
when the man you look
up to your whole life
breaks his own rules and cries.
it finally
givesyoupermission to.
everything with joy
happened so long ago,
but all this stuff with
mom makes it hurt again.
that's what i'm afraid of.
it's never gonna go away.
so we cried.
together.
we even tried talking
about how we felt,
which was hard for mdad
and the son he raised
to ignore his feelings.
it's like someone
took out my stomach.
i don't even know why.
stomped on it. that's
what it feels like.
yeah,but not with a sneaker.
with something worse.
like a golf shoe.
i don't know golf
shoes. are they heavy?
no,but they got
spikes on the bottoms.
oh,then,yeah,dad,that's
what it feels like.
a golf shoe.
right.
and the more honest we
were about how we felt,
the more honest we
became about everything.
if i just wouldn't've
spent so much time at work.
no! do not blame yourself.
i will not stand here and
let you blame yourself.
i'm not saying what
they did wasn't wrong,
but i will say they're
not the only ones to blame.
okay,now you're
bringing some stuff up
i'm not sure i'm ready to hear.
after a whole night of crying,
and more hugging than
i'd like to admit,
we discovered
something unexpected.
i think i feel better.
me,too.
anger's a heavy
burden to carry,
but dad realized that revenge
didn't make it any lighter.
forgiveness did.
and forgiveness lightened
the burd of guilt,too.
and if it worked
for mom and dad,
maybe it could work for me,too.
joy.
i!forgive you for
cheating on me.
good,'cause i'd do it
again in a heartbeat.
now move,you're
standing in my light.
forgiveness was a
peaceful feeling.
i felt calm.
more focused.
i can't say if my words
made joy feel the same,
but i like to
think it might have.
i did it! i did it!
genius!
and maybe by forgiving
her,i showed her
that there's room in your heart
for things other than revenge.
that sometimes it's far
better to give an eye
than to take an eye.
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