My Babysitter's a Vampire (2011–2012): Season 2, Episode 1 - Welcome Back Dusker - full transcript

I'm bored and hungry.

Shh...

We're told to wait, we wait.

She'll show up...

eventually.

[knock]

Hey, any word from Sarah
about babysitting tomorrow?

Not yet.
[sigh]

But it's only ten-thirty.

Hey, y'know,

I bet old Mrs. Pruit
would love to come.



She babysat you when you
were a baby, remember?

Wasn't she the one
with the eyepatch?

Yeah.

I think her parrot
kept attacking me.

So you do remember.
Okay, keep trying Sarah.

'Kay.

[hissing]

[scream]

[distant growling noise]

[phone rings]

Hel-
Eeeeek!

Does that screech
mean Sarah's back?

Or did something
vampirey and bad happen?

Or both?
I read online



Dirk Battison is making
an appearance right here!

Dirk Battison!
From Dusk!

Can you believe it?

I'm pretty sure
that's just a rumour.

How would you know?

'Cause I started it.

I thought it might
lure Sarah back.

I needed to know she's okay.

It's my fault that
she drank human blood.

Just don't be mad.

I don't get mad.
I get hungry.

[beep]

[hissing]
Whoa!

Aren't you going
to invite me in?

[nervous chuckle]

* She's the girl next door.

* Nice, but not
in a heart that's pure *

* She's the girl next door

* Just for me

* What you get is what you see

* No more maybe
it's may believe *

* She can give you
everything you need *

* She's the girl next door.

* Nice, but not
in a heart that's pure *

* She's the girl next door

* Just for me

[*]

So good to see you again!

Yeah, it's good
to see you too.

But what happened?

Did you find Jessie
and make him pay

for turning you
into a vampire?

I'm fine!

Okay...

I have some challenges,
but I've accepted it.

So let's just move on, okay?

I'm so excited to
get back to school,

aren't you?

Yeah, but you don't
have to accept it.

I'm still looking
for a vampire cure

to get you back to normal.

This is Whitechapel!

Vampires are normal here.

[sigh]

Fine.

Just what matters
is that you're back.

For good?

I should let you
get some sleep.

It is really good to be back.

Of course I'm glad
she's back, but...

I don't know, she seemed...

different, and...

Okay, come one, cut it out.

I was just testing something.

I was trying to summon
chicks, and then...

Aww.
Wow.

Just focus from now on, Benny.

I'm worried about her.

Sarah's probably
just traumatized.

She'll need time to adjust!
And then...

So then the fledgling says,

"My dentist is the one
with the cavities now!"

Adjustment complete!
Trauma all gone.

Vampires all happy-happy.

Look who I bumped into.

Care for a welcome back chick?

Benny, so cute!

That'll be a
yummy snack later.

What?

It's a joke!

Ethan, I don't remember
you being so serious.

I don't remember
you being so funny.

But good one!
[laughs]

[bell rings]

That's us.

Even immortals still
have to go to class.

Bye!

You know,
I'm not usually a fan

of full-blast undead
blood-suckers,

but she makes it look good.

Oh, almost forgot.

Now that you're back,

I'm supposed to give you this.

It's from the Council.

The Council?

The Vampire Council.

After Jessie left,

the Vs are less wild,
more structured.

Kind of lame.

But the parties are
totally worth it.

'Specially the snacks.

Initiation?
Orientation?

I'm not joining any fang club!

Stop right there, young lady.

Excuse me?
Who are you?

Your new vice
principal, Mr. Stern.

You may call me sir.

And you are a young missy

who doesn't think twice about
littering our hallways.

Okay, I'll think
twice about it.

There.
Are we done?

Good.

Not so fast.

Not until you make a deposit
in the nearest trash can.

Whatever you say.

Help!
Get me out of here!

I don't know what happened!

I got angry,

and then I couldn't stop it.

Duh!

Vampire urges are
so much stronger

than fledgling urges.

Don't worry.

I think I got this.

Anybody!

Young lady,
you are not only expelled...

You should be arrested!

Benny, do that
brainwave trick?

Abovyu-memneth-

obliviarctic-kaput!

I -
You -

What are you kids
staring at?

Get back to class!
Now!

[hissing]

Going somewhere, little one?

Now is not a good time,

unless you'd enjoy watching
your arms grow back.

[chuckles]
See, this is the problem.

Vampire on vampire attacks.

Two more just last night.

Same night you
came back to town.

Your brothers and sisters
on the Council are...

concerned.

What, just because we
have the same teeth,

we're family?

No thanks.

Fine.
Maybe the one we want's

your little
vampire-hunter boyfriend.

[chuckles]

[hissing]

Leave him alone!

Leave ME alone,

unless you want to see some
vampire-on-vampire attack

right now.

And he's not my boyfriend!

Forget her.

Let's go after the geek.

The brainy one,
not the magic one.

Good.

The magic one creeps me out.

I know how she feels.

When I first got my powers,
I totally couldn't deal.

I got so mad once,
I wanted to bite the moon.

But I didn't.

The moon's safe.
For now.

Can we change the subject?

I've had enough vampire
drama for once day.

[crowd talking]

Wow, the rumour was true!

It's Dirk Battison from Dusk!

I can't believe he's here!

I can't believe anyone cares!

Ew! I heart blood, sparkle,
and feel sad a lot.

Lame.

Hey, Dirk!

Ethan Morgan here.
School newspaper.

Surprised you're here.

Yeah, me too.

I didn't even know about this
'til I saw it on the net.

My agent
stopped calling me

after Dusk IV,
the 3D musical went

[explosion sound]

Well, this is Whitechapel.

Vampires will always
be kind of big here.

Some hoax!

You were trying
to keep us apart.

Well tough buns,

because Dirk is going to
spend some quality time

with his number one fan.

Okay, but after
the signing.

I have a duty to my fans.

Dusk II, scene 28.

We're vampires.

We take what we want!

Remember?

Whoa.

Ow.

Who is your personal trainer?

Back off!

He's mine.

Okay, lame-ohs.

Who wants authentic
guy-from-Dusk coffee cup!

Bidding starts at one hundred!

Where's your limo?

Limo?
I drove my mom's hatchback.

It's parked across the street.

Listen to me, Dirk.

Your Dusk adventure

is about to get real.

Oh, you're one of those.

Well, look I can't bite you.

I did that once,
and I got sued.

And I got gum disease.

Ahh!

Sarah?

I think Erica's a
little out of control.

I'm sure she's fine.

But you need to
watch your back.

I think some angry vampires
are looking for you.

Me?

No, the Duskers
are mad at Erica

for stealing Dirk.

I'm surprised he
even showed up.

Uh...
here we go.

Dirk? Ethan?
Hey!

I know you guys are sad
about Dirk leaving,

but you don't
have to get rough.

Things are about to get a whole
lot rougher, little hunter.

[hissing]

Whoa!
You're real?

Look, I'm no hunter,

but some of my best
friends are vampires.

Erica? Rory?

Wait, Rory's your friend?
And you admit it?

Dude, that's just messed up!
[laughing]

The Council knows you're
in on the recent attacks.

And they want to
see you suffer

in person!

Stand back!

I don't hunt vampires,

but I have staked
in self-defence.

Oh yeah.

This is a number 2 pencil.

Yeah, Two!
Know what that's for?

Or should I draw
you a picture, huh?

Huh?

There's something behind me,
isn't there.

Whoa!

Come on!

Whoa.

Looks like I'm not the only
one with anger issues.

I didn't do anything!

Why are they so
steamed at Ethan?

They think
he's after them.

First, two vamps were
attacked in his backyard,

then two more tried
to pick him up

and they were taken out too.

I'm really worried about him.

Me too.

I promised them
I'd hand Ethan over

so they wouldn't end me.

But he didn't do anything!

He said they were attacked
by a smelly green mist?

Smelly green mist?

Did Ethan's mom
make tacos again?

By the way, is he here?

The Council wants us to
"bring him to justice",

wherever that is.

Psst! It's true,
there is a green mist.

I saw it.

That's Ethan, but
I don't see him.

I'm right here.

Whoa, do you know
what this means?

I've perfected the
invisibility spell

without even trying!

Or he's in that locker.

Ow!

Yes, Benny, I'm in the locker.

If the vamps come for
me here at school,

at least I've got back up.

You can count on me.
Ow!

After I bring you to justice.

Do you know
if that's around here?

I can't help you, Rory.

I need time to
prove I'm innocent.

But the halls are
full of fangs.

Those aren't real vamps.

It's Dusk day at WC High,

in honour of Erica's
new pet movie star.

Gotta go.

Just sit tight,
and don't let the vampires bite.

Same to you.

Remember, bite your tongue,
not their face.

'Kay, so, locker boy.

I get beat up all day
because they blame you,

and you blame a green mist,

and I bet the mist
blames the unicorns.

The mist was real, Benny.
Almost alive.

And it had a smell.

It smelled like...
evil.

Evil?

Okay, now I'm intrigued.

Wonder if any of
these smell familiar.

Here, try this one.

Okay.

Oh!

Smells like bacon
and gym socks.

Impressive.

Um, here, try this.

Ew, wow.

Wait.

It's pretty close.
What is it?

A-ha! Sulphur, or,
to the necromancer, brimstone.

And where there's brimstone,
there's black magic.

Or rotten eggs.

There were no eggs.

Black magic it is!

This mist is about
to get demystified!

Can I get a hi-five?
Woo!

Ugh, dude, did you spill
some of that on your hand?

Naw, I scratched my butt.

Ugh!

Ethan...!

Ethan!

Nope, guess he's not home.

[dials phone]

Ethan, where are you?

Oh, great, I'll be right over.

No, don't worry,

I won't tell any vampires
you're hiding at the library!

Fang code zero, I repeat,
fang code zero.

Ugh!

Ow!
Mind the head!

Sorry, man,

should have put a this-end-up
stamp on this blanket.

Okay.

All clear.

I doubled back and snuck in.

And I marked every spell
that involves evil smoke,

sulphur, and violence.

Wow, that's a lot
of smokey violence.

Hence the name black magic,

and not nice, sunny,
smiley face magic.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

there's over
a dozen disappearances

in the last month.

And on almost all of them,

they say no recent
picture available.

So this magic mist attacks
people who don't own a camera!

Or a mist
that attacks people

who don't show up
on camera.

Right!
Shy people.

No, dude, vampires!

Here, this must be it.

Inspira mortis.
The breath of death.

Whoever uses this can
transform their anger

or dark energies
into a physical vapour

that seeks out and destroys
its intended target.

That's why it
totally ignored me!

It's only going
after vampires.

We have to warn Sarah.

Hi, this is Sarah -

Come on, Sarah!
Where are you?

[sniffs]

[hissing]

Goin' somewhere, half-pint?

Let me through.

I have to talk to the Council
about these vampire attacks

before it's too late.

I swear, I'm not
trying to hurt anyone.

Too bad.
'Cause I am.

I think I found a way to
fight the breath of death.

And don't say hold your noses.

Ancient tribes used these witch
bottles to lure evil spirits

away from people,

and then trap them.

Cool.

Last time I checked,

we're fresh out
of witch bottles.

Any container can work.

Like this.

As long as you put the
right symbols on them

and I say the right
spell over it.

The hard part's the bait.

Bait?

Items from the
spirit's target.

Well, this mist is
targeting vampires

so we put vampire
stuff in the jar?

What vampire stuff?

Not my internal organs,

I need those!

Have you gone
number 1 recently?

Ew!

Hi, this is Sarah.

Please leave a message
after the beep.

[sigh]
Sarah's not answering.

[phone rings]

Sarah?

Not quite, but I know where
she is, and it's not good.

The Council put her on trial.

Two goons just showed up
to drag me to the hearing.

A trial?
No, this is bad.

They're all in danger.

Where is it?

The old mason lodge.

I'd hurry if I were you.

Do we have to go?

There's more to me
than vampires.

I played Hamlet in
Shakespeare for Dogs.

Ew.

Might want to take
that off your résumé.

[growling]

Okay, okay.
We're going.

Just don't get your
fangs in a twist.

Ah!

You show no allegiance
to your kind.

You forfeit your protections
by wilfully conspiring -

Who cares who I conspire with.

My friends aren't
your problem.

You're the ones who
need their protection.

Give her a break.

So she doesn't
come to meetings.

She's never been
much of a joiner.

She even quit the
Dusk fan club,

and I was president!

Your best friend did that?
No way!

Sorry, sweetie, but it's true.

Now pipe down before
you get eaten.

Sarah's always
done her own thing.

Sometimes she's
not even any fun.

She's my friend.

She's one of us now.

And she's no threat to us.

You may not be a threat,

but your little
stake-wielding friends are.

Deliver them to us

as a sign of loyalty.

Or, if you'd rather
side with them,

you can accept our
punishment on their behalf.

But we will have blood;

yours or theirs.

So come and get it, princess,

'cause I've been itching
for a fight all day.

[hiss]
Let her go!

I'm the one you want!

I've got this!
Why are you here?

Trying to protect you!

Well I was trying
to protect you.

Well, we're
protecting you too!

Look, I didn't
touch your friends.

They were attacked by a spell

called the Breath of Death.

Yeah, pretty scary, right?

But what matters is
we can stop it!

True!

They made me go in a jar.

Quiet!

Perhaps we owe these boys

a chance to prove
their innocence.

That's very
reasonable, thank you.

I move the mortals
be devoured now.

You can't do that!

How does that let us prove
our innocence at all?

If the attacks continue
after you're gone,

then I guess you
were innocent!

Seems fair enough.

I totally disagree
with that assessment!

I guess I got my
orientation after all.

You taught me when
to control myself,

and when not to.

Sarah, wait!

You call yourself a council?

Don't you even have
to take a vote?

Fine.
All in favour?

Show of hands.

[growling]

Benny, Benny!
The witch bottle, hurry!

Get it off of me!

Here, breathy-deathy!

Yeah, din-dins!

Mmm, smells yummy!

It's working!

Ew, that's bad.

And gross.

Ethan, are you okay?

Sarah...

What do we do with him?

Destroy him!
We command it!

Where's the witch bottle?

Rory, it still needs
something, do you mind?

Ow!
My hair!

Secantos-delthorum-

recantos-elthor!

Ah!

[screaming]

Gotcha!

Anti-vampire mist, anyone?

Still mad at me for
defending the mortals

who just saved your life?

Erica was right;

you ARE no fun.

Fine.

You're free to go.

Thank you.
That's more like it.

Stop!

Before you go...

I want Dirk's autograph.

For a friend.

Vampire awkward!

Okay, guys,
your mom and I

will be home from
Gourmet Disco at 11.

No staying up late,
no scary movies.

And none of that laser
sabre thingy, all right?

We get it.
Sarah's in charge.

Yep. I promise.
It's all good.

Yeah, all good.

All right.

[screaming on TV]

Look, I know things are
different now, and...

if you feel like you
need to move on...

Well, I guess it's okay.

Thanks, but I kinda
like it right here.

Having fun with my friends.

Because I AM fun, right?

[hissing]

Yeah!

Yes, you are SO fun.

Hey, look.
It's Dirk.

They're real!

Vampires are real!

They can fly!

Look, look, I have a picture
of my vampire girlfriend.

There, see?
She's a real vampire!

Sources say the
struggling actor

is currently
receiving treatment.

Poor guy.

We really freaked him out.

You know what really
freaks me out?

If that mist is so
out of Benny's league,

who is powerful enough
to conjure it up?

Whoever it is,

they really don't
like vampires.

Maybe they just haven't
met the right ones yet.

[chuckles]