My Babysitter's a Vampire (2011–2012): Season 1, Episode 8 - Die Pod - full transcript

In conclusion, our yearbook
needs a facelift.

Or at least some serious Botox,
which brings us to the photos.

A lot of us spend as much time
gaming as we do in school.

We think we should be able to use
our avatars as our yearbook photos.

Why look like yourself when you could
look like a Level-25 Storm Ranger?

I feel that who I am
on the inside

is better represented
by Thor Angerheart.

Thanks to the yearbook
committee for your time.

We think this idea could take the White
Chapel Rememberer to the next level.

Um... no.

Don't think we're gonna
use that. But thanks anyway.



- Sorry, guys.
- I knew these wouldn't help!

I propose
we go totally retro

and use this old-school camera
for the student photos.

An old camera? That's how
you're going to improve

- the yearbook? Lame!
- Thanks for coming.

That's my camera-
or, it used to be.

- It was my grandma's.
- How do you know?

I sold it to her
at a yard sale on Saturday.

Easy money! Just sitting in my basement
wrapped in a bunch of blankets,

waiting in the bottom
of a huge double-lock chest.

And now we can't use wicked
avatars as our yearbook photos!

- Thanks!
- Sorry! But I made ten bucks.

Goes right
to the go-cart fund.

What... is this?



Hello?

♪ She's the girl next door. ♪

♪ Nice but not in a heart ♪
♪ that's pure. ♪

♪ She's the girl next door. ♪

♪ Just for me. ♪

♪ What you get is ♪
♪ what you see. ♪

♪ No more ♪
♪ "Maybe it's Maybelline" ♪

♪ She can give you everything ♪
♪ you need. ♪

♪ She's the girl next door. ♪

♪ Nice but not in a heart ♪
♪ that's pure. ♪

♪ She's the girl next door. ♪

♪ Just for me. ♪

Attention all students...
The chess club will meet tomorrow-

Well?
How'd the meeting go?

Can I use my Mii
as my yearbook photo?

Sorry, Rory.
They shot us down.

- Maybe next year.
- Come on!

You want me to take 'em out?
Maybe eat their families?

No!

Just kidding, man!

You looked all,
"Oh, no, Rory's a maniac!"

- That was great.
- Don't joke about that, okay?

Sometimes I wonder
what you do at night.

Oh, it's pretty nuts.
The less you know, the better.

Four thousand
sixty-eight, Four thousand sixty-nine...

Anyway, what do the yearbook
nerds want to do?

Hannah Price wants
to use some lame old camera

for the photos.
She probably doesn't even know

she has to develop the old film.
She's probably

still staring at the back
of the camera right now,

wondering why
the screen isn't working.

She's standing right
behind me now, isn't she?

Later.

- Heh...
- Hi, Ethan!

I like your shirt.

Uh, thanks.

It's, it's a small.
I'm super sorry

about not liking your idea
this morning. It was a really

good one. Maybe we can
still find a way to use it.

Really? Uh,
what about your camera?

Yeah... about that...
Can I trust you?

Well, I don't know.
Um, I'm gonna go find out.

Huh?

I'm getting my hair done
after school.

Do you want to come?

Why are you getting a makeover
for the yearbook photo?

Vampires don't even show up
on film.

I know, but this would
have been my first

hot yearbook photo ever.
The others were...

Not...
the best photo of you.

I don't care if nobody else can see it.
I'll know I looked good.

What about you?
Don't you care?

I don't know. I kind of just wish
I could forget this whole year.

Hey, Sarah?

Um... A girl just asked me
if she could trust me.

What does that mean?
Is it a trap?

- What does that mean?
- What do you mean?

Sarah, you have got to stop
hanging out with him.

You're turning into the same person.

Next thing you know,
you'll be reading comic books

and snorting when you laugh.

Hannah Price just asked me
if she could trust me. Can she?

- Can she?
- I can't watch this happen.

If she wants to trust you with something,
it probably means she likes you.

Really?

What do I do?

Just see what happens.
Think of it as an experiment.

Good idea.

I need to collect
more data.

Ugh!

I should just smash this pile
of junk over with an axe

and take what I want!

Hey, Hannah...

I've thought about it,
and, yes, you can trust me.

Why would I want to trust
a little monkey boy like you?

I don't know...
You, you didn't say.

Well, how about I say this...

You're a pathetic
little weasel!!!

And then she started swearing!

And some of them were,
like, double swears!

- She got pretty creative.
- Well, did she smile?

Kinda... When she thought
I was gonna cry.

Yep. She likes you.

How can she change so fast?

A lot of things do-
too fast.

What's wrong?

It's silly. I'm just...

...upset that I won't be
in the yearbook photo.

It makes me realize
how much has changed.

Yeah.

So this morning,
Hannah was really nice to me

and asked if she could...

- confide in me.
- Dude, it's a trap.

I knew it!
The next time I saw her,

She swore like my dad
in traffic.

There are two sides
to every girl, like a coin:

Heads, she's crazy;

Tails... same as heads.

- Huh. - Hey, Cammy.
Oh, I totally love your skirt.

Oh, thank you!

Heads.

Oops, I am so sorry!

Tails.

Good luck with that.

You!
You're the girl from the photo.

- So are you.
- No, I'm Hannah Price.

So am I...

...with a twist.

All the awful things
people said I did today-

all the swearing,

cutting off Kelly's hair,
putting glue

in Mrs. Murray's shoes-
that was you.

No,
that was us.

We are not the same.

You're right;
You look fat in that skirt.

Whatever you are,
just go away!

I'm not going anywhere.

In fact, you're gonna be seeing
a lot more of me.

- Ow!
- Ha-ha! Yes!

Now that was
a three-pointer!

Who else wants
some of this?!

If she asks you out,
you'd better say yes.

Oh, she saw us.
What do we do?

Just act natural.

Well, I'm naturally nervous,
so that should be easy.

Baby still crying
because he can't be Superman

- in the yearbook?
- Superman? Please.

He's a bit too... retro.

A little too...
old school.

Aww. And it was such a nice
nerd shirt.

I don't care how much
of a crush she has on you.

She just made
Benny's list.

Dark room?
More like "red room"!

All right.

Time for a little revenge photo,
princess.

Courtesy of Thor Angerheart.

Ethan? Um...

Can I talk to you?

Maybe...
Will it hurt?

Uh, never mind.
I gotta go.

On your way home to geek it up with
your buddy with the huge head?

Probably.
Didn't you just leave?

Huh... Maybe dating isn't
such a good idea after all.

I'll call you tonight,
okay?

I will not go nuts
over this.

Ah!
I forgot something.

- My number?
- No, this.

Ah! Ow!
Ah! Ow!

Ow...

Well...
it took a vision,

but I finally understand
a girl...

...or two.

An evil twin?
Dude, come on.

Well, somehow the evil part of
Hannah became a whole other person.

One Hannah is normal; the other
is a pile of angry snakes.

So, you got twins
crushin' on ya.

Yeah. But
one of them is evil.

- We have to do something.
- Yeah, you're right.

I'll come over tonight, we'll
play some Heckbot Rebellion,

take care of it tomorrow.
She is still just a girl.

Yeah, you're right.

What's the worst she could do?
Make fun of someone's shoes on Facebook?

Exactly.

What
a goof wagon.

I may have
to frame that one.

Nice work. I've always thought the figure
eight was the most evil of rope knots.

Okay, turn off the geek switch for a
second, and pay attention to the plan.

We're gonna use this camera to
make a whole bunch of new friends,

and then turn this town
inside out.

Geek?

Lose the attitude, snuggles.
I don't like taking orders.

Oh, then I'd better be
really nice to you,

'cause I so care.

I'll get it.

Hi, Benny.
Where's the fire?

Maybe it'll start
in your garage, Frank.

Who's Frank? My name's Ross.
I thought you knew that.

- Debbie make pie tonight?
- Who's Debbie?

Get us some pie,
will you, Frank?

Alert the boy.

Ethan!

Benny's here-
I think.

Hey, Benny.
You're early; that's a first.

I'm also not here
at all.

Gimme a call at home.

You and your grandma
change your voicemail message again?

I love the one where you two are doing
impressions of each other.

You've got Benny.

Hello? Hello!

Ethan,
I have caller ID.

- Benny?
- Come on!

I'm not late yet, dude. But
I will be. Just a few minutes.

Just... just get...
get here quick, okay?

Yeah, yeah.
I'll be there in five.

Wait!

What are you?

I'm your best friend.

I know you.

I know you're good
at stopping evil plans.

I'm here to warn you
to stay out

- of mine!
- Wait, wait, no!

Benny, in a year this town is gonna be
filled to the roof with evil doubles.

- What were you thinking?
- Obviously I wasn't.

Hey, Ethan.

Grandma was just yelling at me
for selling her camera.

Benny,
you have an evil twin too.

He just trashed my phone
and took off.

Did you take a photo
of yourself with my camera?

Yeah, but just of my butt.
And only for revenge.

There have been cultures
in history that believe

a photo can steal the soul.
That camera can!

Or, at least, it makes
a negative copy of your soul.

When the photo gets developed,
out pops and evil you.

Oh, no...

Hannah Price wants to use that camera
for the yearbook photos tomorrow.

Well, then you'd better get it back.
And most importantly,

destroy all the negatives
that she has.

- That's the only way to get rid of the twins.
- All right. Well, now that

we have a plan, can we all
forgive original Benny?

No!

Benny?

Oh...

Hey, babe.
Like my new ride?

You bought a go-cart?

Rented. But I'm thinking
of stealing it.

- Are you sleepwalking again?
- No.

But I am walking
out of this town.

So if you want a shot
at this,

then you'd better
hurry up.

The only shot I'd take at
that is with a right foot.

Oooh.

Time's running out,
sweetness.

How could he get
even more weird?

Oh, hey, shutterbug.
Today's the big day.

I've got the photo booth
all set up here.

So? You ready
to make some memories?

None of these losers deserve
a close-up.

I'm gonna herd 'em
into the gym for a group shot.

Uh, well, we can't do that.
But I sure do love your...

...your big-picture thinking.

Well, do you get it?

Hey.

Oh! Ooh! Okay, okay!
Oh! Good on you

for expressing yourself!

Come on.
Hey.

If you hit on me again,
I'm gonna hit on you,

but not in the way
you think!

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
if you're gonna punch me,

don't I get to have fun
annoying you in the first place?

Whoa, okay?
Sarah, let me guess:

You saw Benny today,
and he was a complete jerk.

Yeah!
But even more than usual.

No time to explain-
magic camera,

Hannah invented evil twins,

we gotta destroy the negatives
before more evil twins-ugh!

I stop Hannah.
You guys find Benny.

You heard the man.
Let's go!

Everybody into the gym.

We're doing a class photo;
No individual glamour shots.

You're not movie stars.

Um... what do you mean

we're not going to be doing
individual photos?

Um, I don't know how to dumb
that down for you, supermodel.

I didn't get my hair done
and buy this outfit

so I could be surrounded
by hoodies and yoga pants.

Does this really look
like a face that cares?

If I don't get
my close-up...

...it won't look
like a face at all.

Are you one of us?

Or are you just naturally
crusty?

What?

Never mind.

You just made
Erica's list.

Quiet happens now!!

No duck faces, no rabbit ears,

and no blinking
when the flash goes off.

I don't care if your eyes dry up
and fall out of your head.

Keep them open!

Any mistakes and rumours
about you will be spread

to every corner
of the world!

Okay, then.

One,

two, three,
cheese.

- Mr. G?
- Okay, happy time.

I thought
Hannah was taking the photos.

Oh, Hannah was making the other
students cry, so I went ahead

- and took over.
- Where did she go?

Oh, she went
into the dark room, I guess.

She was in an awful hurry
to get that class

photo that she made
developed.

- Heh... class photo?
- Oh, yeah.

She must have got
a hundred students in there.

I just wish she didn't have
to threaten their lives

so many times.

- Ethan!
- Hannah?

- She was... and then she was-
- It's okay. I'm here to help you.

Where are the negatives

to your camera?
We have to destroy them.

Ethan!

Don't untie her!
She's evil.

She's lying.
I'm Hannah.

Destroy the negatives, quick.
They're in that case.

Ethan, I'm Hannah, and if you
touch that case, I'll ruin you.

Hannah. This is
for ruining my yearbook photo.

Gah!

- You're tougher than you look.
- Use the acid!

No!

Ah...

How did you know
that one was the evil twin?

Evil twin? Really?

I just came in here
to eat-

uh...
slap her around a bit.

- Hannah, are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

What's happening?

It's all over.
I destroyed all the negatives.

Not quite.

You missed one...
or two.

You know,
I think Evil Benny

needs a worst friend.

Say, um, "Oh, no!"

- No! Stop!
- Oh, no!

It's locked!

Stolen camera,
stolen souls,

locked best friend
in a room.

This was a good day.

Hey, Benny.

Or should I call you
Evil Benny?

What makes you think
I'm the evil one?

Maybe I'm normal
and you're just a goody-goody.

Yeah, I don't think
either of us is smart enough

to make any sense of that.

But only one of us is leaving
this washroom.

What if I cook ya?

Use the magic you never had
the stomach to use, huh?

Turn you inside out, maybe?

Right.

I bet you're no better
at magic than I am.

Nice jacket, though.

Looks so real-
pleather.

- Somebody!
- Get us out of here!

Erica said
you two were here.

Should I...
leave you guys alone?

No, Benny's twin has the camera.
You have to go find him.

No problem. I'll just follow
the sound of stupid.

And... the trail
of toothpicks.

You're such a jerk!

I know you are,
but what am I?

You dropped something!

Time's up, sweetness!

Yeah.

Are you okay?

I just flushed myself down the toilet.
I'm gonna need some time.

My twin really ruined
the yearbook photos.

We'll have to take them again.

Well, when you have
some free time, maybe

- you'd feel like a movie?
- Great idea!

My boyfriend loves movies.
See you later, Ethan.

Boyfriend?
That rots, dude.

At least I got my camera back.

That means grandma won't spank me-
with lightning.

So Hannah never had
a crush on me;

She was just really nice.

Yeah,
that can happen too.

So... you're saying

that a girl can either be
nice to you

or mean to you
when she likes you,

or maybe she doesn't like you,
and she's just really nice?

Yeah, that's about right.

That's such a mind bender.

Ethan!
Evil Benny rented a go-cart.

- Come on!
- I'm over it. Later!

You're welcome!

♪ She's the girl next door. ♪

♪ Nice but not in a heart ♪
♪ that's pure. ♪

♪ She's the girl next door. ♪

♪ Just for me. ♪