My Babysitter's a Vampire (2011–2012): Season 1, Episode 10 - Doug the Vampire Hunter - full transcript
Ethan wins a day with the famous 'Doug the Vampire Hunter'. But he must hide Sarah, Rory and Erica so that Doug doesn't find out that they are, you know, VAMPIRES! So will they end up being the hunted? Or the hunters?
So you uhm...
You get sent here often?
How could I let you convince
me to rewire the PA system?
Because I'm
incredibly charming.
Seriously? Dude, the Hulk would
turn pink before she talked to you.
Pink with envy.
I'm never rewiring anything
for you again.
OK, what good is a ghost alarm
in school if it isn't insanely loud?
How was I supposed to know it was
gonna blow out the principal's window?
Young lady?
You might want to go in.
Trust me,
you do not want
to tick him off.
Yeah, especially when we have
to go in there after you.
Don't do that.
Ah! That is some nasty earwax!
- We are running out of daylight.
- Ha! Ha! Ha!
You, uh,
better go in there.
Pff! That girl was
a total "butter ears".
- What?
- I liked everything
"but her ears".
Wow! How are you
still dateless?
I don't know.
* She's the girl next door. *
* Nice but not in a heart *
* that's pure. *
* She's the girl next door. *
* Just for me. *
* What you get is *
* what you see. *
* No more *
* "Maybe it's Maybelline" *
* She can give you everything *
* you need. *
* She's the girl next door. *
* Nice but not in a heart *
* that's pure. *
* She's the girl next door. *
* Just for me. *
Oh, man, that earwax was epic!
I'm serious. I couldn't get
the earbud out. It was like
it yanked it back in.
Earwax can't do
that, Benny.
Hence my unease, but that explains
why my charm fell on deaf ears.
Maybe she just ignored you.
Like all the other girls do?
If they're running from you,
they're not ignoring you.
Hey, guys!
Getting punished for
your ghost alarm thing, huh?
Sarah, can I ask you
a question?
Do girls have like
way more earwax than guys?
Is it a puberty thing?
Do guys have fewer brain cells
or is it just a Benny thing?
Well, I mean...
it takes a lot
more than that...
She didn't even wait
for my answer.
Is it just me or are there a lot
more weeds here than usual?
Maybe they only get pulled
when someone gets punished.
Oh, gardening isn't
a punishment, gentlemen.
It is an opportunity.
An opportunity to get hands
dirty and jabbed with thorns?
No, an opportunity
to look within.
To banish the weeds
inside your soul.
- Ahh.
- Ahh?
What you have to do
is remove the root,
so that the weeds
never grow again.
I really think a spray bottle
of Weedageddon'd be easier.
Thanks for telling us this,
Principal Hicks, but...
why are you telling us this?
Normal troublemakers clog
toilet bowls.
You two rewire PAs,
break my office windows,
talk about space demons.
- I worry about you.
- So you want us to clog more toilets?
No, forget it.
Carry on weeding.
Man, that inner weed stuff was
pretty emo.
Man, that sick music concert
ran really late last night.
Wow!
I see you've noticed
my limited edition t-shirt.
Who's Single Tare?
It's Single TEAR.
You listen to Single Tear?
I didn't think you liked
anything cool.
Have you heard the new remix
of Love Shaped Heart?
Ah! Hearing it is
one thing, spice angel,
but seeing it is a more
awesome thing. I'm downloading
their double acoustic Antarctica
concert video as we speak!
Really? I've tried to download
that like a 100 times,
but all I keep getting are videos
of the stupid has-been singer.
♪ I'm about to choose you ♪
♪ I'm about to buzz you ♪
♪ baby. ♪
♪ Heyyyy- ♪
Looks like you've been "roll'd".
I hate that!
- I know!
- I found one torrent
that's the real deal. Ultra
hi-def, 10-channel surround.
It's 246 gigs of Single Tear
angst and frustration.
- What's wrong?
- What's wrong...
...is that I have something
in common with you.
Two things,
my fellow bloodsucker.
We're practically soulmates.
I'm going home
to change my shirt.
I wonder if my allergies will kill
me before the sunstroke does.
My money is on the sun.
You burn like a marshmallow.
There she is. I'm gonna try
and talk to her again.
See if she can ignore
my funniest story.
Oh! Come on!
Hey, Sarah.
You know, the buttons are
on the front, right?
Very funny.
I think I have a virus.
Can you, you know, geek
this thing for me?
Sure! Ha! Ha!
No... Oww!
- ...problem.
- Thanks, Ethan.
If you do this for me, I'll be
grateful 'till the day you die.
I'd say I'd die, but I have this
whole immortal thing going on.
Later!
And that is why I'm no longer
welcome at the bowling alley.
You know, I think
you're really interesting.
Do you want to talk
about yourself for a bit?
What kind of girl can resist
both my bowling anecdote
and talking about herself?
Strange!
Speaking of strange...
Hey, Rory, what's up?
Erica and I totally like
the same band.
Single Tear?
Aren't all those songs about
how hard it is to be them?
Yeah, they totally speak
to me.
They're rich and famous.
I'm a vampire. Nobody gets us.
Nobody's ever got you.
I don't think liking
the same band is gonna
make much of a difference.
Ah, maybe not right away,
♪ There's no time ♪
♪ like the future. ♪
Ah! Ugh!
- You know what's going on here?
- Yeah, the music industry is
finally fighting back
at illegal downloads.
No, but this is
messed up.
Yeah, messed up
with 4 gigs of clutch tunes.
- Can I have it back?
- Not a chance.
But you can tell us the last
place you plugged it in.
My parents won't let me
download at home.
They think the internet
is a bad influence.
You're already a soulless
undead creature of the night.
How much worse can you get?
Dude, if my mom knew
I was a vampire
I'd be grounded
for like a month.
I've got 80% of my future
love life downloaded, boys.
By tomorrow, I predict
Erica and I will interface.
Hey!
Did that cord just move?
What the heck is that?
Our homework.
Oh man!
OK, fine. I really want
to see that video.
Uh... I don't have it yet.
But I can totally
air guitar it for you! Waaaaaa-
Stop immediately forever!
When will this download
be finished?
Uh, tonight. I'm downloading
in the school's computer lab,
and I can totally
burn you a DVD.
Fine, I will meet you here
tonight to pick it up.
Like... a date?
I just don't wanna anyone
to see us together.
Ah! An intimate date!
I'm gonna need candles.
Whoa, this is weird.
Chlorophyll polymer ectoplasm?
It's like a combination
of paranormal weed
and Ethernet cable.
There's plant matter
in the cables?
No, they're combined.
Half alive, half plastic.
Like Heidi Montag.
Ooh! Nice burn.
Nobody's reported anything
like this online.
- I wonder.
- Me too.
Mostly about what it would be
like to have eyes on my feet.
Then I'd always see
where I'm going.
And you'd get a black eye
every time you kicked something.
Nah, just wear special
see-through shoes.
Oh, weird.
Sarah's laptop is virus-free.
Maybe it's a hardware problem.
Smells mouldy.
Like my grandma's sock drawer.
Let's open this thing up.
Ugh!
Circuit salad! Ugh!
Here, probably the same
as Rory's Zypod
and the cables
in the computer lab.
Computers, cables, Zypods...
I think I have a theory.
Really?
My theory is that you should
be able to figure this out.
I was thinking there's
actually something strange
growing in the school's
computer network.
That's it! I knew I was
onto something.
We gotta get back to the
school and stop this thing.
I got another theory.
It's gonna be scary.
My theory was right.
Do you remember this hallway
being so...
ominous and terrifying
this afternoon?
It's not so bad.
It's just
a deserted hallway with...
...creepy flashing lights
and an overriding sense of doom.
Yeah, it's terrifying!
Let's just get in there
and get this over with.
Yeah.
Oh, I think
we're too late.
Man! This stuff spreads fast.
This girl is
garnished.
What do we do? I think we need
some kind of weed killer.
I am not going to pull any weeds
out of this girl's face.
You go to the chemistry lab
and I'll call Sarah.
- Hello?
- Hey, Sarah, it's me.
Hey! How's my laptop?
Please, please tell me
you brought it back to life.
Um, not exactly.
Are you busy tonight?
Not anymore.
Erica met a guy
while we were waiting in line for
a movie, and then she ditched me!
Great! I mean, um,
we could use a hand
with something.
It's kind of related
to your laptop.
Wait, you're asking me
for computer help?
I thought you were
the "nerds on demand".
Well, this isn't exactly
a programming issue.
Do you like gardening?
The last time I bought
a plant, I killed it in a week.
Perfect! The more plants
you've killed, the better.
You guys really need to stop
inhaling the science experiments.
- Be there in a bit.
- OK!
- Let's wax some weeds!
- OK.
W-w-wait!
We don't want to burn
her face.
Spray her roots!
I mean, legs.
- Can I use my line again?
- If you insist.
Let's wax some weeds!
- Stop, stop, stop!
- I'm stopping.
- What did you see?
- I saw a tree.
It was... angry.
How could you tell?
Was it choking squirrels?
Aw, man!
I was really hoping you guys
would have this fixed by now.
This didn't screw up
my download, did it?
Maybe we should look up
your angry tree online?
Uh, not here.
Something tells me that it's not a
good idea to touch these computers!
Looks like the school's wireless
is down. I'm not getting a signal.
We'll do it from my place.
What about her?
Uh, I don't think we should move
her until we know what's going on.
The weed killer didn't
go over so well. - OK.
Should we call a doctor?
Gardener?
Cable guy?
Couldn't you guys just water her
and make sure she gets enough sun?
OK, we'll come back for her.
Let's go!
- Rory, I said don't touch it!
- Don't worry about me.
I'm big, bad,
bloodsucking vampire.
I can look out for myself.
- Listen...
- Ooh! Vanilla Sunrise!
Hey, Benny,
check this out.
The oldest tree in town just got
cut down a few weeks ago.
It's right next
to the school.
Yeah, looks like the tree was
a site of old druid rituals.
So this tree soaks up magic
over the years,
gets knocked down, and what,
now wants revenge?
Well, somebody cuts me off at the
shins, they're gonna hear about it.
So what does this mean
for what's happening at school?
Well, like
Principal Hicks said:
To kill the weeds,
we gotta cut out the root.
Time to do
some gardening.
- Let's wax some weeds!
- Really?
Again?
It's all I got.
Oh-oh!
What's with
the human salad bar?
Sorry, there's
this weird root thing.
- Ethan and Benny are fixing it-
- Never mind.
I just... I wanna get out of here.
This is creeping me out.
You look...
really pretty.
Thanks, I'm on a date.
- With me?
- No.
With a guy that could
actually get a date with me.
So, where's the DVD?
Almost ready. Sit down.
We can swap secrets while we wait.
Pass. I told my date
I was in the bathroom.
I'll be back
after he buys me dessert.
Ah, looking forward to it.
There, it is.
Or was.
That is one
freaky stump.
- Do you think a tree could hold a grudge?
- For what?
I carved my name into it.
"Benny loves Sally."
And Beth, Kailey, Della, Erica-
- Benny!
- Catwoman.
OK, what do we do?
Well, looks like the only way
to stop it is to cut the root.
Roots lead back
to the school.
This tree wasn't
ready to die.
Looks like we found
the mother root.
You think?
The school's internet cables
run through here.
These crazy roots have grown
right into them.
- Does this mean more yard work?
- Let's get this thing open.
Looks like someone is
holding it shut.
- Something strong.
- Maybe there's some haunted
Venus flytrap who's trying
to get illegal pay-per-view?
Right, right?
Cutting the roots should kill it.
Then we can save vegetable girl.
Yeah!
It's gardening time!
- Is that the best you can do?
- Pretty much.
- Ah!
- Ugh!
Eww!
Well, uh, she seems better.
Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!
I just downloaded myself a love life!
What's going on?
This isn't a Single Tear video
I've ever seen before.
Goodbye, evil screensaver.
Nobody can save you from
"Lord of the Power Button!"
Booyah!
Ah!
Ah-ah!
What kind of cheap boy wants
to share a slice of cake?
Erica, Erica, run!
Save yourself!
- OK.
- No, wait. Come back!
Oh...
Did anybody else just lose
their job well done feeling?
Hey, where's Benny?
- Where did you get that?
- Janitor's closet.
Always upgrade
before a boss level.
- Let's go.
- OK.
I will not be destroyed
by poison or blade!
I will build a new force
fertilized by human souls.
We're dealing
with one angry tree now.
And it's upgraded
its hardware.
- With Rory.
- Ew!
This thing's mostly cable
and computer now.
We can't just spray it
with weed killer.
No, but smashing works
on almost everything.
- I'm with her.
- Wait!
If it's half tree,
half computer, maybe a virus can
infect its system
and take this thing down.
Where do you just get
a computer virus?
You've hacked into a computer
system before, right?
- Just cover me!
- Cover you with what!?
Just keep killing and don't let me
get killed, OK? Simple enough?!
Come on, come on, come on.
OK, this is what I call computer hacking!
You're parasites!
I'm gonna "pwn" you, newb!
I got you!
Hey, tree boy! Ha! Ha!
Get ready to be "nick rolled"!
Nooooo!
NO!
♪ Choose you love you ♪
♪ choose you love you. ♪
Rory!
Are you ok?
Guys,
I had the weirdest dream.
I was made out of carrot
and I got "nick rolled".
Ha! Ha!
I can't believe
Hicks blamed us for this mess.
Maybe we should start clogging
more toilets. It would be easier.
Thanks for fixing
my laptop, Ethan.
No problem.
Do you have
my Single Tear DVD?
Right here.
Not so fast.
When I was almost plant food,
you took off
to save yourself.
You and I? So done.
Whatever.
Just give it to me.
No!
Please?
Well, OK, I can't
stay mad at you.
- Now, can we go out?
- Not a chance.
Nice try.
Well, you almost stood up
to her this time.
Baby steps, boys.
Baby steps.
* She's the girl next door. *
* Nice but not in a heart. *
* that's pure.. *
* She's the girl next door.. *
* Just for me.. *
You get sent here often?
How could I let you convince
me to rewire the PA system?
Because I'm
incredibly charming.
Seriously? Dude, the Hulk would
turn pink before she talked to you.
Pink with envy.
I'm never rewiring anything
for you again.
OK, what good is a ghost alarm
in school if it isn't insanely loud?
How was I supposed to know it was
gonna blow out the principal's window?
Young lady?
You might want to go in.
Trust me,
you do not want
to tick him off.
Yeah, especially when we have
to go in there after you.
Don't do that.
Ah! That is some nasty earwax!
- We are running out of daylight.
- Ha! Ha! Ha!
You, uh,
better go in there.
Pff! That girl was
a total "butter ears".
- What?
- I liked everything
"but her ears".
Wow! How are you
still dateless?
I don't know.
* She's the girl next door. *
* Nice but not in a heart *
* that's pure. *
* She's the girl next door. *
* Just for me. *
* What you get is *
* what you see. *
* No more *
* "Maybe it's Maybelline" *
* She can give you everything *
* you need. *
* She's the girl next door. *
* Nice but not in a heart *
* that's pure. *
* She's the girl next door. *
* Just for me. *
Oh, man, that earwax was epic!
I'm serious. I couldn't get
the earbud out. It was like
it yanked it back in.
Earwax can't do
that, Benny.
Hence my unease, but that explains
why my charm fell on deaf ears.
Maybe she just ignored you.
Like all the other girls do?
If they're running from you,
they're not ignoring you.
Hey, guys!
Getting punished for
your ghost alarm thing, huh?
Sarah, can I ask you
a question?
Do girls have like
way more earwax than guys?
Is it a puberty thing?
Do guys have fewer brain cells
or is it just a Benny thing?
Well, I mean...
it takes a lot
more than that...
She didn't even wait
for my answer.
Is it just me or are there a lot
more weeds here than usual?
Maybe they only get pulled
when someone gets punished.
Oh, gardening isn't
a punishment, gentlemen.
It is an opportunity.
An opportunity to get hands
dirty and jabbed with thorns?
No, an opportunity
to look within.
To banish the weeds
inside your soul.
- Ahh.
- Ahh?
What you have to do
is remove the root,
so that the weeds
never grow again.
I really think a spray bottle
of Weedageddon'd be easier.
Thanks for telling us this,
Principal Hicks, but...
why are you telling us this?
Normal troublemakers clog
toilet bowls.
You two rewire PAs,
break my office windows,
talk about space demons.
- I worry about you.
- So you want us to clog more toilets?
No, forget it.
Carry on weeding.
Man, that inner weed stuff was
pretty emo.
Man, that sick music concert
ran really late last night.
Wow!
I see you've noticed
my limited edition t-shirt.
Who's Single Tare?
It's Single TEAR.
You listen to Single Tear?
I didn't think you liked
anything cool.
Have you heard the new remix
of Love Shaped Heart?
Ah! Hearing it is
one thing, spice angel,
but seeing it is a more
awesome thing. I'm downloading
their double acoustic Antarctica
concert video as we speak!
Really? I've tried to download
that like a 100 times,
but all I keep getting are videos
of the stupid has-been singer.
♪ I'm about to choose you ♪
♪ I'm about to buzz you ♪
♪ baby. ♪
♪ Heyyyy- ♪
Looks like you've been "roll'd".
I hate that!
- I know!
- I found one torrent
that's the real deal. Ultra
hi-def, 10-channel surround.
It's 246 gigs of Single Tear
angst and frustration.
- What's wrong?
- What's wrong...
...is that I have something
in common with you.
Two things,
my fellow bloodsucker.
We're practically soulmates.
I'm going home
to change my shirt.
I wonder if my allergies will kill
me before the sunstroke does.
My money is on the sun.
You burn like a marshmallow.
There she is. I'm gonna try
and talk to her again.
See if she can ignore
my funniest story.
Oh! Come on!
Hey, Sarah.
You know, the buttons are
on the front, right?
Very funny.
I think I have a virus.
Can you, you know, geek
this thing for me?
Sure! Ha! Ha!
No... Oww!
- ...problem.
- Thanks, Ethan.
If you do this for me, I'll be
grateful 'till the day you die.
I'd say I'd die, but I have this
whole immortal thing going on.
Later!
And that is why I'm no longer
welcome at the bowling alley.
You know, I think
you're really interesting.
Do you want to talk
about yourself for a bit?
What kind of girl can resist
both my bowling anecdote
and talking about herself?
Strange!
Speaking of strange...
Hey, Rory, what's up?
Erica and I totally like
the same band.
Single Tear?
Aren't all those songs about
how hard it is to be them?
Yeah, they totally speak
to me.
They're rich and famous.
I'm a vampire. Nobody gets us.
Nobody's ever got you.
I don't think liking
the same band is gonna
make much of a difference.
Ah, maybe not right away,
♪ There's no time ♪
♪ like the future. ♪
Ah! Ugh!
- You know what's going on here?
- Yeah, the music industry is
finally fighting back
at illegal downloads.
No, but this is
messed up.
Yeah, messed up
with 4 gigs of clutch tunes.
- Can I have it back?
- Not a chance.
But you can tell us the last
place you plugged it in.
My parents won't let me
download at home.
They think the internet
is a bad influence.
You're already a soulless
undead creature of the night.
How much worse can you get?
Dude, if my mom knew
I was a vampire
I'd be grounded
for like a month.
I've got 80% of my future
love life downloaded, boys.
By tomorrow, I predict
Erica and I will interface.
Hey!
Did that cord just move?
What the heck is that?
Our homework.
Oh man!
OK, fine. I really want
to see that video.
Uh... I don't have it yet.
But I can totally
air guitar it for you! Waaaaaa-
Stop immediately forever!
When will this download
be finished?
Uh, tonight. I'm downloading
in the school's computer lab,
and I can totally
burn you a DVD.
Fine, I will meet you here
tonight to pick it up.
Like... a date?
I just don't wanna anyone
to see us together.
Ah! An intimate date!
I'm gonna need candles.
Whoa, this is weird.
Chlorophyll polymer ectoplasm?
It's like a combination
of paranormal weed
and Ethernet cable.
There's plant matter
in the cables?
No, they're combined.
Half alive, half plastic.
Like Heidi Montag.
Ooh! Nice burn.
Nobody's reported anything
like this online.
- I wonder.
- Me too.
Mostly about what it would be
like to have eyes on my feet.
Then I'd always see
where I'm going.
And you'd get a black eye
every time you kicked something.
Nah, just wear special
see-through shoes.
Oh, weird.
Sarah's laptop is virus-free.
Maybe it's a hardware problem.
Smells mouldy.
Like my grandma's sock drawer.
Let's open this thing up.
Ugh!
Circuit salad! Ugh!
Here, probably the same
as Rory's Zypod
and the cables
in the computer lab.
Computers, cables, Zypods...
I think I have a theory.
Really?
My theory is that you should
be able to figure this out.
I was thinking there's
actually something strange
growing in the school's
computer network.
That's it! I knew I was
onto something.
We gotta get back to the
school and stop this thing.
I got another theory.
It's gonna be scary.
My theory was right.
Do you remember this hallway
being so...
ominous and terrifying
this afternoon?
It's not so bad.
It's just
a deserted hallway with...
...creepy flashing lights
and an overriding sense of doom.
Yeah, it's terrifying!
Let's just get in there
and get this over with.
Yeah.
Oh, I think
we're too late.
Man! This stuff spreads fast.
This girl is
garnished.
What do we do? I think we need
some kind of weed killer.
I am not going to pull any weeds
out of this girl's face.
You go to the chemistry lab
and I'll call Sarah.
- Hello?
- Hey, Sarah, it's me.
Hey! How's my laptop?
Please, please tell me
you brought it back to life.
Um, not exactly.
Are you busy tonight?
Not anymore.
Erica met a guy
while we were waiting in line for
a movie, and then she ditched me!
Great! I mean, um,
we could use a hand
with something.
It's kind of related
to your laptop.
Wait, you're asking me
for computer help?
I thought you were
the "nerds on demand".
Well, this isn't exactly
a programming issue.
Do you like gardening?
The last time I bought
a plant, I killed it in a week.
Perfect! The more plants
you've killed, the better.
You guys really need to stop
inhaling the science experiments.
- Be there in a bit.
- OK!
- Let's wax some weeds!
- OK.
W-w-wait!
We don't want to burn
her face.
Spray her roots!
I mean, legs.
- Can I use my line again?
- If you insist.
Let's wax some weeds!
- Stop, stop, stop!
- I'm stopping.
- What did you see?
- I saw a tree.
It was... angry.
How could you tell?
Was it choking squirrels?
Aw, man!
I was really hoping you guys
would have this fixed by now.
This didn't screw up
my download, did it?
Maybe we should look up
your angry tree online?
Uh, not here.
Something tells me that it's not a
good idea to touch these computers!
Looks like the school's wireless
is down. I'm not getting a signal.
We'll do it from my place.
What about her?
Uh, I don't think we should move
her until we know what's going on.
The weed killer didn't
go over so well. - OK.
Should we call a doctor?
Gardener?
Cable guy?
Couldn't you guys just water her
and make sure she gets enough sun?
OK, we'll come back for her.
Let's go!
- Rory, I said don't touch it!
- Don't worry about me.
I'm big, bad,
bloodsucking vampire.
I can look out for myself.
- Listen...
- Ooh! Vanilla Sunrise!
Hey, Benny,
check this out.
The oldest tree in town just got
cut down a few weeks ago.
It's right next
to the school.
Yeah, looks like the tree was
a site of old druid rituals.
So this tree soaks up magic
over the years,
gets knocked down, and what,
now wants revenge?
Well, somebody cuts me off at the
shins, they're gonna hear about it.
So what does this mean
for what's happening at school?
Well, like
Principal Hicks said:
To kill the weeds,
we gotta cut out the root.
Time to do
some gardening.
- Let's wax some weeds!
- Really?
Again?
It's all I got.
Oh-oh!
What's with
the human salad bar?
Sorry, there's
this weird root thing.
- Ethan and Benny are fixing it-
- Never mind.
I just... I wanna get out of here.
This is creeping me out.
You look...
really pretty.
Thanks, I'm on a date.
- With me?
- No.
With a guy that could
actually get a date with me.
So, where's the DVD?
Almost ready. Sit down.
We can swap secrets while we wait.
Pass. I told my date
I was in the bathroom.
I'll be back
after he buys me dessert.
Ah, looking forward to it.
There, it is.
Or was.
That is one
freaky stump.
- Do you think a tree could hold a grudge?
- For what?
I carved my name into it.
"Benny loves Sally."
And Beth, Kailey, Della, Erica-
- Benny!
- Catwoman.
OK, what do we do?
Well, looks like the only way
to stop it is to cut the root.
Roots lead back
to the school.
This tree wasn't
ready to die.
Looks like we found
the mother root.
You think?
The school's internet cables
run through here.
These crazy roots have grown
right into them.
- Does this mean more yard work?
- Let's get this thing open.
Looks like someone is
holding it shut.
- Something strong.
- Maybe there's some haunted
Venus flytrap who's trying
to get illegal pay-per-view?
Right, right?
Cutting the roots should kill it.
Then we can save vegetable girl.
Yeah!
It's gardening time!
- Is that the best you can do?
- Pretty much.
- Ah!
- Ugh!
Eww!
Well, uh, she seems better.
Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!
I just downloaded myself a love life!
What's going on?
This isn't a Single Tear video
I've ever seen before.
Goodbye, evil screensaver.
Nobody can save you from
"Lord of the Power Button!"
Booyah!
Ah!
Ah-ah!
What kind of cheap boy wants
to share a slice of cake?
Erica, Erica, run!
Save yourself!
- OK.
- No, wait. Come back!
Oh...
Did anybody else just lose
their job well done feeling?
Hey, where's Benny?
- Where did you get that?
- Janitor's closet.
Always upgrade
before a boss level.
- Let's go.
- OK.
I will not be destroyed
by poison or blade!
I will build a new force
fertilized by human souls.
We're dealing
with one angry tree now.
And it's upgraded
its hardware.
- With Rory.
- Ew!
This thing's mostly cable
and computer now.
We can't just spray it
with weed killer.
No, but smashing works
on almost everything.
- I'm with her.
- Wait!
If it's half tree,
half computer, maybe a virus can
infect its system
and take this thing down.
Where do you just get
a computer virus?
You've hacked into a computer
system before, right?
- Just cover me!
- Cover you with what!?
Just keep killing and don't let me
get killed, OK? Simple enough?!
Come on, come on, come on.
OK, this is what I call computer hacking!
You're parasites!
I'm gonna "pwn" you, newb!
I got you!
Hey, tree boy! Ha! Ha!
Get ready to be "nick rolled"!
Nooooo!
NO!
♪ Choose you love you ♪
♪ choose you love you. ♪
Rory!
Are you ok?
Guys,
I had the weirdest dream.
I was made out of carrot
and I got "nick rolled".
Ha! Ha!
I can't believe
Hicks blamed us for this mess.
Maybe we should start clogging
more toilets. It would be easier.
Thanks for fixing
my laptop, Ethan.
No problem.
Do you have
my Single Tear DVD?
Right here.
Not so fast.
When I was almost plant food,
you took off
to save yourself.
You and I? So done.
Whatever.
Just give it to me.
No!
Please?
Well, OK, I can't
stay mad at you.
- Now, can we go out?
- Not a chance.
Nice try.
Well, you almost stood up
to her this time.
Baby steps, boys.
Baby steps.
* She's the girl next door. *
* Nice but not in a heart. *
* that's pure.. *
* She's the girl next door.. *
* Just for me.. *