Mozart in the Jungle (2014–2018): Season 3, Episode 9 - Creative Solutions for Creative Lives - full transcript

Gloria, I brought you
a pumpernickel scone.

Gloria, that's voodoo!

I can't believe we just
made that announcement
to the whole world

without asking me first!

I apologized.

Come on, Gloria, don't get
caught up in the past.

Just so you know,
everyone out there

can hear everything
you're saying.

It will take years of
fundraising to even come close...

I'm not talking about years.
I'm talking about now.

Right now.



You want to see now?
Now, I am cleaning my desk.

Because we don't have enough
money for a janitorial staff!

I'm trying
to save this orchestra.

Our orchestra!

And you just asked a roomful
of multimillionaires

to give their money
to the wrong thing

Gloria, no!
It's not the wrong thing!

It's actually the same thing.

It's the orchestra and
the youth orchestra,
they go together.

Not according to the I.R.S.

The I.R....
That just means "IRS".

Okay, I'm talking
about children,

I'm talking about
the future, Gloria.

It's a fantastic idea!



- Yeah.
- It's a beautiful idea.

And it would ensure an
audience for the future!

But you can't just whip up
a citywide not-for-profit

out of thin air!

By the way, you have
to forgive Maestro Pembridge.

He's having a hard time.

How do you know about that?

Everybod knows.
Right?

- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.

You know, there is one way that
we could get the seed money

and do it pretty quickly.

Yeah, well,
he's not gonna do it.

No, wait, wait.
I'm very unpredictable.

I might do it.
Tell me, tell me.

Well, after the Venice concert,

we have been flooded
with requests for you
to do an endorsement.

You know, like portable
speakers, or a watch...

but there is one
that's pretty big.

Big? Like, big, big how?

- Oh, he's not gonna do it.
- Tell me, I don't
discriminate.

Just tell me, tell me.

Ah!

What'd I tell you?
He's not gonna do it.

Okay, Gloria...

Okay, we have the music,
there's kids in the city.

Millions of them.

What costs money?
Why do we need the money?

Instruments cost money.

- Chairs. Chairs cost money.
- Chairs cost money?

Chairs don't cost money.
Chairs are just there.

Okay, are you joking with me?
No, go on.

Okay, okay, I feel
obligated to do something

that I've never done in my life.

And I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna get the money myself.

Be my guest!

In fact, go out on the street

and just pull it off
the money tree!

That's exactly what
I'm gonna do.

Oh, Craigy G?

- Yes, Maestro?
- About your, you know, the...

Mm-hmm?

I can't believe
you're a person, man.

Hey, everyone. Hi.

Hi, Esther.

Um, thank you all
so much for being here.

I am so excited.

Oh, are you kidding?

A chance to play the premiere

of Thomas Pembridge's
first composition?

I've actually had a poster
on my wall since middle school.

It's of him conducting
shirtless, on a fjord.

Oh, I had that poster, too.

It was right above my bed.

Okay. Um,
let's get started.

So what I think is really
great about this piece

is the kind
of polarized dynamics.

So there's the tenderness
and then there's the tension.

Oh my God.

Maestro.

Hey, Maestro,
what are you doing here?

I was just in the neighborhood.

My tailor, he lives in Brooklyn.

Yes, he's a genius with buttons.

Well, please carry on, Maestra.

Like I'm not here.

Just think of me as the ghost
that haunts the theater.

Okay. Will do.

All right, so, um.

Let's... let's take it
from the top.

Hmm?

That was so great, guys.

For the...
For the first time, wow.

Okay.

Hey, Esther, I think
that you could

um, afford to be a
little bit freer.

Where it says
molto espressivo...

Hmm.
Oh, bloody hell, no.

What?

Hmm?
Oh, Nothing.

Okay.

The molto espressivo,
I really think, go for it.

- Psst.
- Um...

Psst.

I don't want to be a pest
but I think I've got
a few tiny thoughts.

Okay, yes, what are they?

One, I want you to
think of it as a solo piece,

- and the rest is just echo.
- Mm-hmm.

It's just a very fine
line, but it's important.

- Yes.
- Now, bar one also,

- I want it to be clearer.
- Okay.

- I want it...
- Yeah.

I want you to get the tempo.
It needs to flow.

- Sounds good.
- All right?

- I'll do that.
- Good.

I'm so sorry, Mr. DeSousa.

But we can't give you the loan.

But it's not for me.
It's for the children.

- It's for the music.
- I know.

And the program that
you're trying to start,
it sounds great.

Program? I'm not
doing a TV program.

No, no, no, the music program.

Oh, yeah.
I just don't call it
a music program.

I call it music and
the sounds that make a family.

Well, you...

You applied
for the loan as an individual.

And you listed as assets to
be held as collateral...

Beethoven, Mozart,
and T-chai-Tchaikovsky.

Yeah, I know that one.
I like it.

Oh good.
She likes that one.

Well, now, it was all worth it.

But you do understand in
terms of a loan agreement,

that these are just the
names of music composers.

They don't actually have value.

Tell her that you would have
gone mad without the music.

Oh, no, but I will start
crying if I say that.

Let's see, the only other
thing you listed here

is a mate gourd.

Mat... ma-mate?
Mate gourd?

And the value, it depends
on what a person's
opinion is on mate?

I was joking.

You know, it's just a joke.

Wow you don't have any credit,
which I've never seen before.

- No credit cards? No, no...
- Nothing.

No mortgage, house, nothing?

No, I don't owe any
money to anybody.

That seems like
I don't exist, right?

It's how the bank thinks.

I don't get it.

So the bank will give out
loans to people

who usually will make money back

to pay it back.

I'll just get another loan
and I'll pay you back.

No, but how is the bank
going to trust you?

I give you my word,
it's me, I tell you.

You're the bank.
Trust me.

I'm not the bank.

I just work for the bank.
Excuse me.

I have to be in this meeting.

Okay, okay.

- Okay.
- That's it.

Thanks so much for your time.

I know you're not the bank.

You know, you're
this "Creative Solutions

For Creative Lives" bank.

Listen, at the end of
the day, those are
just slogans.

It's not really real.

Well, let's make this real.

What if I was a potato farmer?

And I come to you and I say,

"hey I want to plant tomatoes."

Mm-hmm.

I want a loan for planting
tomatoes, and you go,

"Have you any experience
with tomatoes?"

And I go, "No.
No, but just give me a loan."

- Well, you wouldn't
give it to me, right?
- No.

- Because I plant potatoes.
- Potatoes.

But what if I come and
I say I'm a tomato farmer.

I'm gonna plant tomatoes.

That's exactly what I'm saying
right now, you know?

I am a musician.

I'm gonna give you the music.

Hi, Jordan.

Where are you?

Oh, God.
I'm so sorry, Honey.

No, hold on.
Just stay there
with your teachers.

I'll be right there.
I'm on my way.

Okay? Okay.
Okay, bye. Dammit.

I forgot that today
was the day I'm supposed
to pick up my son.

Do you need a ride?

No, no, no, it's okay.

Yes, I'll give you a ride.
Come, come, come.

I have a vehicle.
Come.

Oh, okay, okay.
If you don't mind.

Yeah, no, no.
It's good.

He should have stuck
with potatoes.

Okay.

Hey, you really...

I know, I know.
I'm so sorry.

I apologize,
I shouldn't do that.

I'm actually gonna go.

Great.

No. I'm not going to go.

I'm going to go into this
cozy little room

and I'm gonna just take a nap.

- That sounds great
- And I promise you...

- I'll shut the fuck up.
- Thank you.

Okay, um, let's go
from the same place.

So, you can just
drop me off here.

All right?
All right, it's okay.

- Okay, um...
- The door's right here.

Okay, okay. We're here.
Hello, young man.

Hi, can I ask you a favor?

Can you hold my
bicycle for a moment?

Yes, please?

- I have your word?
- You have my word.

Excellent.

Hey, little man.

I'm so sorry, I'll make
it up to you.

Jordan, this is Mr. DeSousa.

- Hello.
- Hi.

My name is Rodrigo, how are you?

Good.

Do you play the piano?

- No.
- No, he doesn't play anything.

Ooh.

Uh-huh.

Hello!
Who wants to play a game?

Me!

Come gather round
in a circle, come on.

Okay!
Let's make a circle.

Good, great.
Welcome.

Okay. Who's got a heart?

Everybody?
You also have a heart?

You can join, you can join.

Come, come, come.

And what sound does
a heart make?

Boom, boom.

Muy bien.

Okay, so guys, okay, grab
your instruments, please.

And where were we?
We were in the heartbeat.

Right? We're in
the heartbeat.

So how was it, the heartbeat?

So, bop. Okay. Esso.

Can you help us with the
heartbeat with your tubes?

And let's have
the claves going, please.

Bop, bop, bop,
bop, bop. Right.

Bop, bop, bop.

Mississippi, hot dog.
Mississippi, hot dog.

♫ Palo, palo, palo
bonito palo eh ♫

♫ Eh palo bonito palo eh ♫

Rapido!

♫ Palo, palo, palo
bonito palo eh ♫

♫ Eh palo bonito palo eh ♫

Bye, Anthony.

Bye.

You see, that's it.
It's percussions.

Your instrument is percussions.

Absolutely, and
once they find it,

there's no going back,
you know? Yeah.

And you will never sleep again.

- That's exciting.
- But he'll be happy.

Uh, I've got a check for you.

Check?

- It's from you.
- Yeah.

I just wanted to say I like
what you're trying to do.

Thank you.

I should get him
home for dinner now.

Okay.

Well, I can cook one day
for you and him.
You know?

- Can you cook?
- We'll make up something.

Fuck!

Bullshit! Bullshit!

Thomas? Is there
something wrong?

It's the coda!

It's the bloody coda!

I mean, God, I don't know
what the hell I was thinking.

It's derivative bullshit.

Cut it, cut it.

Okay, you want me
to cut the coda?

Yeah, cut the fucker right out
like a country surgeon.

No, do not cut the coda.

The Maestro just said
to cut the coda.

I know, but I'm conducting
so let me handle it.

- Cut it.
- Okay.

Thomas, do not make
this complicated.

It's not derivative,
it's a beautiful
simple love song.

Oh, God, what?

Damn, fuck!

What the hell are you...
you've destroyed this
now for me.

I mean, now I've
got to think about it
like it's a love song?

It's not a fucking love song.

Okay, why don't you just
go home and get some sleep?

In fact, why don't we all
go home and get some sleep?

Then we'll come in
fresh tomorrow.

- I'm done, I'm done!
- Polish this up.

And do the show, no problem.

Yeah, now.

Is everybody good?

Oh, that's good. Okay.

Okay, let's do this right.

I got everybody coffee.

I fixed it.

Uh...

I don't have page three.

You have to tape together
the top of old page four

with the new page 36.

You were right, darling.

You know, it's a love story.

It just needed simplifying.

It was already really simple.

It did not need
to be simplified.

Actually, now it's
just more complicated.

Listen, darling,
I know this is difficult,

and also, it's your first thing.

But listen, I really
want this to be right.

So would you please
just try it for me.

Okay.

Um...

Okay. From the coda,
all right.

Esther, you're playing
something completely different.

It's what the Maestro
wrote, right here?

Okay, but it doesn't go
with anything else.

Yeah, I think that's
actually really cool.

Ben, why are you
just standing there?

There is no Clarinet
part anymore.

I just felt you know, it was,

frosting on frosting...

Okay, that's it.
Come here.

I don't know why you're
doing this to yourself.

But everything that I was trying
to get across in this piece

is no longer there.

It's what the composer wants.

Okay, I just need a minute
with him, Esther, so...

And I just was to make sure
that the Maestro gets
what he needs.

Okay, I'm the conductor
and I will make sure
that the maestro...

Okay, but, Maestro...

Just back the fuck off.

It was such an honor
working with you.

I think you're a genius.

Thank you, darling.

Hey, Esther, um...

Did she just quit?

That's how I interpreted
that, yeah.

Esther, Esther, please,
wait, I'm so, so sorry.

Can we please
just talk about this?

I really thought maybe
you had something.

But I guess what everyone
says about you is true.

Wait. What? What does
everyone say about me?

I have figured it out.

Claude, you are going
to take Shawn's part

and I'm going to rewrite
Esther's part

so that Shawn can play it.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Yes, it's totally fine.

- Look.
- I don't want it.
I don't want it.

Are you guys good?

Rodney the Ringman needs to run
through his lighting cues.

We're completely
fucked so we may as well

watch him throw
his rings around.

Bring it on!

Guys, house is open
in fifteen minutes.

I can't do it!

Hailey...

Oh, look at this!

Yeah.

- Shawn!
- Oh my God.

Stop it.

You know, at time like
this I wish my parents
had believed in me.

Well, you know what?
They didn't, so fuck 'em.

Now you've just got to
play with the blood.

All right, does everybody
know what we're doing?

- No.
- Yay!

- No.
- Okay, all right.

Shawn, we are going...

Hailey, this is a nightmare!

I know it's a nightmare,

it's a fucking
horrible nightmare,

and I'm so, so, sorry that
you have to dream it with me,

but we are going to make
something so amazing

if you just hang on
and follow through.

No, we're not.

Hey.

- Hey.
- What is this place?

I have no idea.

I have a friend
performing here tonight.

How are you?

Good.

I scheduled the surgery
for next week.

Did you tell anyone?

No, I mean it's too
hard to tell people.

What am I gonna say?
I'm either off for
two months,

or just gone.

If it doesn't go well.

"Are you whining about
nighttime following
the daylight?

About rain that comes
after sunshine?

Are you complaining that there
are ugly things in life?"

Vítêzslava Kaprálová
died when she was 25.

But before she did, she wrote
and conducted over fifty pieces

at a time when women
were supposed to be
muses, not artists.

So tonight we celebrate
finding our way.

♫ Kdyz straze sve cas vymenuje ♫

♫ V noveho roku znameni ♫

♫ Necht dobre je ♫

♫ Necht dobre je ♫

♫ Necht dobre je
co v budoucnu je ♫

♫ Pokryto v jeho mlceni ♫

And now without further ado

be amazed by The Crystal Fruits.

That was Lizzy.
She's amazing.

Sounds great.

What are you gonna do if they
say you can't play anymore?

It's no if.

They called me this afternoon.

I'm done.

Anyway, this is cool.

What do you mean,
"it's cool?"

I only had a couple years left.

Shit happens, you have
to go to plan B.

- Plan B?
- You don't have one?

I've never thought about it.

Maybe this should be
your plan B.

I think you should go do that.

- Really?
- Yeah.

You could do that, too.

Yeah.

You could manage, like, six.

Maybe a pie.

Hi, Cynthia.
Oh my God.

Are you Kevin Majors?

Kevin Majors!

Kevin, this is Gloria, my boss.

Yeah. I was there when you
scored those 12 points

against the Spurs,
the last 80 seconds!

You don't know,
this guy's fantastic.

Oh my, he's amazing.

- He's amazing. You're amazing.
- So amazing.

I'm a big fan of you guys too.

Well maybe some time
we could talk about the
Donors Benefits program.

Gloria, why don't you join us?

No, no, no, no.
You know what?

You guys have a
terrific evening together.

Could I have a martini, please?

Shawn, I need you to pay
attention to me right now.

You really just need
to play this note

instead of all of these notes.

It'll still have
the same effect.

Hailey, psst, psst.

What?

I have the solution.

No, no, not now.

I've just reworked four parts.

I am using the weapons at hand.

I am using the weapons at hand.

Well, to use your analogy,

I have a bloody great missile.

Okay, I actually really think
it sounds better this way.

It's a lot simpler.

I don't understand why
it wasn't like this

actually, the entire time.

Fine.

One second.

Ah, Hailey.
Nice to see you.

He owes me a favor.

Actually, after tonight,
I probably owe you one.

Joshua Bell.

Hey, I know you probably
don't normally do gigs

of this size, but...

You know this guy
gave me my first big break

when I was, what, 14 years old?

I think we're gonna have fun.

Have you had a chance
to look over the part?

Well, um, you know,
I would like your input.

Maybe you can just give me
an idea of your vision?

There are just a
few things that I...

Totally, totally.
Lizzy!

What?

I need you to vamp
for five minutes.

What? Why? Why?

Why, why?

Oh, shit Joshua Bell?
Hi.

Um...
Yes, I was born to vamp.

Okay, so, this part where
it says molto espressivo,

- I really think it's
important that we honor it.
- Molto.

We have a saying here in Prague:

Stokrát nic umorilo osla.

A hundred times and nothing
killed the donkey.

This reminds me of home.

Are you in the circus?

No?

You can tell me.

How's your conducting technique?

Um, I hope it's good.

I mean, I've been
learning from the best.

Thomas is...

Actually, it's more about
what's inside here

than what you do
with your hands.

If we were following you,

have a good idea of
what's in your brain,

if you convey that in some way,

- Whether it's like this
or like this...
- Uh-huh.

- It'll be successful, so um...
- Yeah.

And you seem to
know what you want.

I'm happy to hear
that it seems that way.

You two.

Have you kissed her yet?

No.

It's almost midnight and
Communism will be here at 1 am.

Come on, what
are you waiting for?

Aw...

And you, madam?

How do you feel about
the rise of the proletariat?

Weird answer.

Hello. I'm very excited to
present to you a new work

by Thomas Pembridge.

Um, uh, Thomas, would you
like to say anything?

Hmm, Sure, sure.

Thank you very much.

Hailey.

All these wonderful
young musicians.

And thank you to Joshua.

You know, I wrote
this for a friend.

Who means a lot to me.

She has my heart, but of course,

I don't see her
anywhere here, so...

There you go.

Anyway, um...

In the words of Aristotle...

Fuck me, really?

Aw, fuck it.

Na zdraví.

.srt Extracted, Resynced by
Dan4Jem, XII.MMXVI