Mozart in the Jungle (2014–2018): Season 1, Episode 9 - Now, Fortissimo! - full transcript

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[applause]

♪♪

[police siren]

_

[crowd repeating in French]

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♪♪ [violin]

[police siren]

[speaking French]

[repeating]



[sirens continue]

Man: Your work, what is
it that inspires you?

- Ana Maria: Love and hate.
- [grunt]

Your vibrato's not going
to sit up and fix itself.

- Uhh!
- Tight?

- Can't breathe.
- Good.

Okay, take your hands out of the water.

- Now play.
- Okay.

♪♪

You need to sing through
the oboe and lightly.

Stop trying to squash a
mosquito with a sledgehammer.

Okay. I get it.

Vaughan Williams called
it a rondo pastorale.

But you're, like, clear
cutting an entire forest.



Is that your cat?

I love Abyssinians.

We had a Burmese in Raleigh.

I just miss her so, so much.

Where is she? Here, kitty, kitty.

She's dead.

Okay, let's go again.

Yes, immediately.

[phone vibrates]

I'm sorry. Let me just turn that off.

[grunt]

Rodrigo?

I guess I was right after all.

Looks like Raquel owes me an Americano.

I probably need to take this.

I bet you do.

Hello, maestro.

Hey, Hailey,

are you ready for an adventure?

I need you to get us a car.

A zippy car.

What, like a zip car?

A zippy car, yeah.

Anything zippy is good.

Yeah, yeah.

We have to go find our new soloist

who's playing out of town,

and we have to go now.

- Um...
- Really?

I'm actually in the middle of a lesson

with Betty Cragdale.

Oh? Okay. Okay.

Okay, well, finish your lesson,

and when you finish, call me, okay?

Because we have to leave immediately.

All right? Okay. Ciao.

[scoff]

Thermos in the void.

Awesome.

Hi.

Hi. How'd it go today?

It was a fucking nightmare,
but she knows her shit.

I gotta go. Rodrigo's waiting.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Uh, kind of.

Look at this.

Uncle Dean settled the estate.

- Holy shit.
- I know.

What are you going to
do with all this money?

I don't know.

I'm sifting through all
the proverbial fields.

Understandably.

Part of me feels like I should invest it,

be responsible for the
first time in my life.

The other part feels like I should
go fucking crazy, and, you know,

hire David Bowie to play
on our fucking roof.

Oh, my God, let's do that.

I went to college with this Finnish kid,

and he was into Wicca and
sexual humiliation, and stuff,

- and, well, his dad died,
- Whoa.

and he invested the inheritance,

and then he died,

and so his mom got it all,

but she was, like, super-rich anyway,

so it didn't make a difference.

You're going to be fine.

Look, I'm really sorry, but I have to go.

Gotta go. I understand.

Okay.

I love you.

Thanks for coming over at
such short notice, D.D.

No problem. I was already
in the neighborhood

making some house calls.
It's bar mitzvah season.

Lots of action.

So, uh, listen, my wrist.

Still bothering you?

It's actually getting worse.

Jesus. Cynthia, let me tell you,

you got to see a real fucking doctor.

I've already made the appointment.

Well, I'm all out of that codeine,

so I wanted... Do you have
anything a bit stronger?

Well, what I can give you

is a couple of Fentanyl and some Oxy,

but I got to tell you,
Cynthia, as a friend,

I am worried about you.

I do not want to see you
getting hooked on these.

Do I look 5, D.D.?

That's sweet, but don't you worry.

I think I can do this.

Yes, we can do this. Yes, we can. Yes.

Okay.

GPS voice: Calculating...

toxic waste facility.

A toxic waste facility?

I thought we were going to
pick up a new musician.

That's where she’s performing at 12 p.m.

And if you don’t hurry up, Hailey,

we're going to miss the
whole violin concerto.

Violin con...

Are we going to pick up Ana Maria?

- Yes.
- Oh, my God.

I know, okay? I know. I know.

But it's my first concert,

and I have to make a bold statement.

And Ana Maria, she plays with...

with the blood, you know?
She plays with the fever.

She's going to rip open
August Memorial Hall

like a golden hawk soaring in
its path of righteousness.

That is amazing, but with all due respect,

the last time you saw her,

it did not seem like a good situation.

But I can tame her.

If she's not with another
guy or with another girl,

I think I'm the only one that can...

I don't want to think
about those things, okay?

I don't want to think about that.

Let's just find her, and
I'll talk about the...

It just seems a little masochistic.

I mean, she's just a loose cannon,

and you could really have
anyone that you wanted.

Hailey,

I have to say I’m a
little bit afraid, okay?

Okay.

But, uh, I mean, I've put this
orchestra through a lot of hell

trying to find some life in it,

trying to make sense out of it

because that’s the only way that
this is going to be relevant.

That's the only way that this is going
to have some kind of importance.

And Ana Maria, she...

she gives me life, you know?

She's... She's my life.

Turn left in 200 yards.

Turn left here in 200 yards.

Are you going to repeat the directions

the entire way.

- No, no.
- Okay.

Remain in left lane.

[turn signal clicking]

Try to remain on the
left as much as you can.

Cynthia: It's you.
[laughs] Come in, come in.

Did I get the day wrong? We said Saturday.

Saturday. Right. You are right.

- I'm going to...
- Am I early?

You know what? Uh, no,

because you're the one who
wears two watches, so...

I'm going to pour you some wine.

We have important orchestra
business to discuss.

- Yeah?
- This is good.

- Oh?
- [slurping]

It's really good.

This doesn’t really feel right.

That's exactly why we
should be here, Hailey.

This is very Ana Maria-like
and Rodrigo-like as well.

Oh.

There's just, like, there's no one here.

There's a mysterious genius to Ana Maria

- that nobody can understand.
- [horn honking]

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Hey!
- What?

I take it from your haircuts

you're here for that classical music freak.

Freak? A freak?

Yeah. She came. Snuck in here.

A whole fucking cavalcade of weirdos.

Left before the cops could show.

What I got from the show

was pretty nuanced and
theatrical, actually.

Oh, I'm glad you felt that way.

She's great, right, sir? Thank you.

You don't have to call me sir.
My name's Eric.

I'm probably going to get fired tonight.

[coughing]

You guys clear out of here.

It's extremely toxic. [cough]

This is a toxic waste facility.
[cough cough]

You think I'm wearing this
Hazmat suit for my health?

- Okay, so go ahead.
- Let's go. Yeah.

Go on. Go.

We'll find her. We'll find her.

- Drive safely, have a nice day, huh?
- Okay.

They're going to come at us hard

about lowering the base salary

for incoming musicians,
but that's just a feint.

They're hoping we fight them on that.

The real battleground

is going to be about pension and health

and the deductibles for dependents,

and then they're going
to try to drive a wedge

between the older members of the orchestra

- and the younger members.
- Mm-hmm.

Bob.

Y-Yeah?

Stop talking.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did I... Was I going too fast?

- Sometimes I ramble on, I know.
- Shh.

Silencio. Just for a moment.

Oh. Okay. Yeah.

Now turn your face towards the window

so it's sort of in profile.

Oh. Okay.

You have a nice profile.

Well, thank you.

Uh, ahem.

You know,

sometimes I look out over
across the orchestra,

and I see you playing your
cute little piccolo...

It's a regular-sized piccolo.

...and I think to myself,

He is not wildly unattractive.

On the contrary,

he is actually oddly cute.

Real-Really?

Fucking A.

Yes.

Fucking A.

You're very witty.

Cynthia, um,

are you a little, uh...

Horny?

Horny? No. I was going to say drunk.

Are you a little drunk?

Why haven't we ever fucked, Bob?

Fu... Ha!

Uh, ha ha ha.

Whoa. All right. Well, I... Ha ha ha.

Isn't that a little... pretty,
you know, obvious?

I don't know. Is it?

Well, I... You know, you’re
usually looking ahead of you

towards the, you know, towards the podium,

and I'm behind you with
my... my little piccolo.

Well, why don't you get
behind me with your piccolo?

Nothing like this ever happened

when Lazlo was head of the committee.

Anything?

Yes. Only Bears Allowed says

that she's definitely staying
around this area somewhere.

And is Only Bears Allowed
a reliable source?

Yeah. He has many followers on Grindr.

It says here.

Yeah, I, uh, checked the system,

and we've only got one
room left at the inn.

You two want it?

Yeah.

Uh, yes, of course.

Fantastic. There you go.

Now, there's laundry on 2

and a sauna on 3 if you crazy kids need it.

We actually won't. Thank you.

I don't sleep anyways right now, you know?

I'm not sleeping very well.

Do you have those long
triangular prism chocolates?

You know, the...

- Toblerone. Of course.
- Yes.

In the mini bar.

It's my weakness, man. Thank you.

- Thank you.
- Let's go.

So, uh, I was thinking about
keeping the secret to myself,

but, um, fuck it.

I need the hive brain. What do you got?

I say you buy an apartment and flip it.

My cousin makes iBanker
levels of paper doing that.

I'm just kind of... I'm nervous
about being tied down.

What about the animals?

Elaborate.

Alpaca farm. They're beyond cute,

and that wool's like gold.

Yeah. I just... I once priced out

a beekeeping apiary for our rooftop,

and I don't think that I
could adequately care

for insects, animals, or babies...

plants, even.

I hate plants.

What about you, Evan?

Do you have to spend it all now or...

I have three or four student loans

and a bunch of parking tickets.

I could really use some help on those.

Whatever you do, just be careful.

Remember Taylor Bell?

Heck, half the kids we grew up with?

They got their trust funds,

and then they never did
anything with their lives.

But I guess as long as you know
what you want to do with your life,

then this will just be gravy.

- Lizzie.
- Just...

Uh, Lizzie?

[door closes]

Did she just leave?

Hailey.

Hailey.

Hailey.

- Hailey.
- Uh, what?

Look.

It's Ana Maria.

She posted her location.

Okay.

Fishtown. Have you ever been there?

No.

It's pretty convenient, right?

For an ecological show.

Fishtown.

I guess, yeah.

Okay.

Uh, what time do you want to leave?

Let's go now.

- You pack the bags.
- Okay.

I'll clear out the mini bar.

Okay.

One for you and one for me.

Oh, thank you.

No worries.

Do you want it?

Uh...

Toblerone. That's my... my weakness.

♪ I'm going to swing from the chandelier ♪

♪ From the chandelier, ah... ♪

Oh. Good morning, sleeping beauty.

Oh.

One post-coital caprese omelet

for the sexiest cellist in
the Western Hemisphere,

courtesy of Chef Robertito.

That's really nice of you, Bob.

Here you go.

You know, I feel so good.

♪ I want to fly like a
bird through the night ♪

That's really loud.

Yeah. Oh. What time is it?

Shit. Oh. I don't even have a watch on.

[laughing]

Oh, Holy shit.

What?

I got to get going.

I'm picking up my kid at the airport.

Oh.

She's at Stanford

studying engineering.

Thank God she’s not a musician,

although, I must say,

playing the piccolo does on occasion

have its advantages.

Huh? Hmm?

I'll see you at the symphony, kid.

Yeah. Thank you for the omelet.

♪ I want to swing from a chandelier ♪

[door closes]

[pigeons fluttering]

Hailey, come up here.

Did you find her?

You've got to see this.

What is it?

I want to live here.

An old factory can become an opera house.

♪♪[vocalizing]

No, no, no, no. The acoustics
are really shitty, no.

Just imagine all the people working here,

all the blood and all the sweat

and the tears and the...

I don't want to live here anymore. No.

Okay. Maybe we should just go
back to the hotel and regroup.

No.

She's around here.

I can feel it.

That's why I never learned how to cook.

'Cause it always... [gasps]

What did I tell you?

Is that, like, her green room or something?

A green... No, no. She's Ana Maria.

She's beyond green room. She's, uh...

You know, she doesn't use these
kind of first-world commodities

that you and I use, you know?

Uh...

[shuddering]

[muttering]

You know what? Um,

I think this was a very bad
idea from the beginning.

Let's just go back to the car, you know?

Let's just drive for a little bit.

I'll send her an email, yeah?

Come on, come on. Come on, Hailey.

Wait. No.

You gave me this job

so I could learn something, right?

Not just drive you to abandoned warehouses

and toxic waste dumps.

This isn't about symphony.

This is about you.

You have to do this for the blood.

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.

I know.

Destiny awaits me in that
fucked-up tent room.

And when you return, I will be here, and...

No. No, no, no. No, Hailey.

No, you've been exemplary this weekend.

You have to go back, okay?

I have to do this on my own.

It's funny, no?

How like the last time we visited her,

you were preventing me from seeing her,

but now you're, like,
won't let me not see her.

Yeah, it's really funny.

Actually,

can you just hang out for two minutes?

Just the first two minutes

because it always gets a little bit crazy.

Absolutely, Maestro.

Ana Maria.

You want me.

I need you.

Tell me why you need me so bad.

Because it's my opening night
at the New York Symphony.

I need a soloist. Only you can do it.
Come on.

- Ha!
- "Ha"?

You heard me. Ha.

Playing for those dusty old
widows at August Memorial?

Limos drop them off, hearses pick them up.

And what, perchance, do
you want me to play?

Brahms? Mozart? Handel?

Sit down.

Sit down.

Amore...

I want you to play the Sibelius.

Sibelius?

Yes.

That is what we first made love to.

I know.

The "Adagio,"

followed by the "Allegro Ma Non Troppo."

G major, please.

Yes.

I had packed that music
away a long time ago,

never to be played again.

I know.

But will you do it one more time?

Remember us...

Berlin, Kenya...

- Oh, stop.
- Iceland, please.

You. You and me. You and me.

You and me.

They say true art must
transcend any prejudice.

I will do it.

For you, mi Amor.

Ana Maria, thank you.

I will do it.

[loud grunting from tent]

Ohh! Ohh!

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

One second, one second. Ana Maria, what...

- What is that?
- Chastity belt.

I must conserve my passion,

or else there is none left for
me to give away on stage.

Okay.

But I will take it off
after I play the concert.

Don't worry.

[ringing]

- [ringing]
- All right, yeah.

Hey. Whoa.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Miss me?
- Yeah.

I did, actually. I missed you a lot.

I love to hear shit like that.

Whoa. Just so you know,
Addison is home right now.

Oh. S'up, Addison!

Okay.

Also, I haven't even really
brushed my teeth yet.

Grow a pair and get on top of me.

Wow. You're pasty as fuck.

I thought you were just in Miami.

I don't tan.

- Take off my pants.
- Okay.

Ah. There.