Mozart in the Jungle (2014–2018): Season 1, Episode 5 - I'm with the Maestro - full transcript

They could have just
hugged it out, you know.

_

Father?

Can I ask for your guidance?

Please?

I'll try to be helpful if I can.

Okay, I have to tell you,

I'm not religious, okay?

I'm spiritual.

I'm a musician,

I find my spirituality



through all the things
that are much more powerful

than anything you guys do.

But, uh... my God is music.

Yeah?

God appears in many ways.

Yes. Yeah, it does.

And...

Have you ever felt this dreadful passion?

I...

Close my eyes and I see her.

I see her eyes.

Her lips.

I...

She's coming.



She's coming to town and

I want to rid myself of this feeling,

of this overwhelming feeling.

Well, my relationship is with Jesus.

So girlfriend advice
isn't really my specialty.

But I can say that

it is wise to keep inner strength when

when in the presence of temptation

through the death and
resurrection of our God.

I grant you pardon and absolution.

In the name of the Father and of
the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

Um...

I'm not confessing.

I thought that...

But uh...

Thank you, it's, uh...

I...

So I just have to remain strong

but I can still be around her?

I'm not exactly sure that was my meaning.

That works.

I mean, I got it.

Thank you. That's actually really good.

- Oh.
- Makes sense. Thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

Just don't tell your union rep.

What if I told you I am the union rep?

I still can't believe
they needed multiple oboes

for a small horror film.

What are the chances?

I was going for a real
vintage Elmer Bernstein thing.

Oh.

A period contemporary mind fuck, you know?

Would you ever be up for
hearing some more of my demos?

Over drinks?

Oh, I'd love to, but I'm
actually extremely busy.

So I wouldn't be able
to hear them, you know?

Absolutely.

Forgive me for my ardor.

It's as much of a liability as a strength.

Hmm. Bye.

I'm going to remember that line.

That wasn't bad, right?

Play some music, watch a movie.

You know, I can promise you,
any jobs I can throw your way,

from now on I will.

I'd really appreciate
it. I just want to play.

I once had a session where
I spent the entire day

playing a Moog synthesizer with one hand

while rolling joints with the other hand.

I think the movie took place in space

or was it Africa?

Or maybe I was just fucking spaced out?

See you, DD.

Bye, guys.

Hey.

You girls want to go grab a bite?

I'm not really hungry.

I have to wash off after the indignity

of working on that piece of crap film.

Yeah, I feel like I should call
my sister and tell her I love her.

No, I can't. Alex is
doing a showcase tonight.

I'm glad to see this Alex
thing is really working out.

Yeah, well, we'll see.

You know, on second thought,

I could maybe eat a little something.

My treat, of course, Cyn.

Is this...

a real evil eye?

Absolutely, dude. Straight from Athens.

It'll ward off anything.

Used to have a whole store up.

Chipotle bought us out.

Do you have anything that's stronger?

You mean like witchcraft?

I was thinking more like sage.

Well, Betty,

I have to ask you something,

and don't get mad.

Fire away.

Have you ever thought about
just being nice to Hailey?

Let me give it a shot.

Yeah, that's not gonna happen, Cyn.

Betty, she's harmless.

Yeah, harmless as a puppy with fleas.

Take your eye off her,

and the symphony will suddenly
be filled with sorority girls

who dabble in music.

Plus, you know, mentoring's
not really my jam.

Can we have a check, please?

You remember how hard it
was when we started out?

Give her a break.

Why? I didn't get one.

When I started out, I was one
of six women in this symphony.

When Catherine Lee got pregnant,

they had no fucking idea
what maternity leave was.

They just let her go.

I mean, it absolutely
infuriates me hearing these kids

complain about how hard they have it.

I mean, shut up.

Go cry some place else.

I mean, I got where I was because
of my talent and my hard work.

- Hear you are, ma'am.
- Thanks.

- No.
- Betty.

I said it was my treat.

Thanks.

How bad is it?

What?

Your wrist? Tendonitis.

It's that obvious, huh?

It's obvious to me.

What are you on?

A nice cocktail of Grey
Goose and a mild steroid.

- Ooh.
- I know, I'm no wallflower.

Hey!

- You little shit.
- Son of a bitch.

- Fuck you, bitch.
- Fuck you!

Ow!

Are you okay?

Yeah, thanks.

Nice move.

Just a reflex.

Oh. I have some ice for that at home.

Come on.

Hi, everybody.

So, what you're about to see

is a work in progress.

Emphasis on the word progress.

Which, uh, on my note card here

is written in capital
letters and underlined.

I helped him come up with that.

Okay, so a couple years
back Addison introduced me

to a little book called Moby Dick.

I... I just, I loved it,

and I wanted to see if there was a way

we could bring its epic scale

to a more intimate
dimension with our bodies,

and we're just now at a place where
we're looking to get some feedback.

So, yeah, thank y'all
so much for being here.

It's so cool, I've never seen him dance

in front of an audience.

Do you think he's meant to be Captain Ahab?

I think he's the albino sperm whale.

That's good, right?

They move really well together.

Like brother and sister.

Shit. _

Gotta go.

Keep my eye on him.

Yeah.

Hello? Hello, Maestro?

Hello, I need you to come meet me.

I'll text you the address.

Yes, of course. Yes, definitely.

You know this is Hailey, right?

Hailey! Hailey.

Oh, Maestro, I'm so sorry I'm late.

We have to be very discreet tonight, okay?

Very discreet, do you
understand what I'm saying?

- Yes.
- Yes?

Total discretion, got it.

- Yes, strong, good.
- Hailey?

Okay, be strong, be brave.

What? What, what?

- Nothing, nothing, nothing.
- What? Oh, fuck.

Hailey Rutledge.

Oh my God, hey.

I didn't know you were in NY.

Yeah, NY, it's so funny
that you call it that.

How are you?

I'm good. Man.

At college, she turned me
onto Ayn Rand, it was like,

Did you know that John
Cage once performed here?

And, like, Philip Glass supposedly

donated this keyboard that's
like 10 feet long or something?

Philip Gla... I hate Philip Glass.

You hate Philip Glass?

Wow. Who is this guy?

Is that like your boyfriend?

- Boyfriend, girlfriend?
- No.

Hey, I'm Derrick.

- Is that...
- No, it's not.

Derrick, it's so nice to see you.

You have to go now.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Bye.

Is he an old love of yours?

Forgive me, I am so mortified right now.

Ha. Ha ha.

- Next.
- Okay, you're next.

Oh.

Hi, two tickets under Rodrigo de Souza.

Okay, um...

They're actually under Harmonic.

- Phil.
- Phil.

Phil Harmonic.

Thank you so much.

Next.

Hey, I figured it out, man.

I'm a really big fan.

Thank you much. Thank you, thank you.

- Hailey...
- Yes?

Okay, listen to me, okay?

Okay.

Pay close attention to
what I'm going to say.

- Yes.
- All right?

Under no circumstance

no matter what I say, no matter what I do,

are you going to allow me to go
backstage after the performance.

- Okay?
- Okay.

Promise me.

I promise.

No, promise properly.

Do like this.

Okay.

- Good.
- Great.

- Promise.
- Promise.

Okay, cool, so I'll e-mail you.

All right, thanks so much for coming.

- I really appreciate it.
- Hey, sorry to interrupt.

- Oh, hey.
- That was awesome.

Sorry if I stink.

You don't stink, you smell like work.

Congratulations. You
guys were fucking great.

Yeah, I'd never read Moby Dick, but...

I feel pretty confident

I could bullshit my way
through that dinner party now.

I saw Hailey leave.

Yeah, she had a work emergency.

Do you have your lip stuff?

Mmm.

I'm gonna be honest, I don't
give a shit about movement,

but, no, that inspired me.

Inspired you to do what?

I don't know, get my ass in shape?

Nice place.

It's home.

I did what I could with it.

My sister's kids.

They were bastards when they were young.

Here, check this out.

These are my babies.

Betty, this is incredible.

If not maniacal.

Some early Zeppelin.

Oh, the first Black Sabbath.

That is some witchy shit.

I also have an extensive
collection of prog rock.

What, you think I only
get it up for Brahms?

Wow.

After all these years,

I didn't know how cool you are.

Cheers.

You smoke?

Hit me.

Ah.

My one regret.

He was as brilliant as he was handsome.

Dare I ask what's going
on with you and Thomas?

I'm not sure I even know.

I mean, he's gone.

What does it matter, really?

Didn't ever commit, anyway.

He's not in a position to,

not with his wife and his public persona.

You know, growing old is horseshit.

But growing old alone,

it's the best.

So 40 years with the New York Symphony

doesn't seem like it
turned out so bad for you.

I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Wait, why can't I let you go
backstage after the performance?

Because the performer that
we are watching tonight,

she's my wife.

Oh.

She's really pretty.

Well, yeah.

Shut up!

You shut the fuck up!

She's got a lot of blood.

Yeah.

I had no idea that that
old man and that fish

had the hots for each other like that.

You and Alex have really great chemistry.

Yeah?

I think we just know each
other's bodies really well.

So are these all producer types?

Uh, more like casting directors and agents.

That's cool.

So... You're a tattoo artist?

Yeah, uh-huh.

For a little while now.

My early work is mostly
primitive symbology,

you know, peace signs, anchors.

Yin-yangs, that type of shit.

So you're a bearded guy magnet.

Yeah, it definitely attracts
those I wish to repel.

For sure.

What about you? I mean, a
pretty, smart Julliard dancer.

That's gotta put you on
top of the food chain.

If I ate.

Uh, no.

Yeah, here and there, I guess.

Nothing serious, though?

Heavens, no.

Heavens, no?

Why not? What about...
What about other dancers?

- Other dancers?
- Yeah.

Okay, excuse me. I've
gotta go press the flesh.

Okay.

Um, bathroom's this way, yeah?

Seriously, your ass and legs
are exactly what I have in mind.

- They're perfect.
- Oh, well, thanks.

So, you'll come to Florida?

I'll put you up in a nice hotel.

Maestro, I can't let you do this.

You made me do the Mexican thumb kiss.

You're not Mexican. You're
not going to go to hell.

- No, Maestro...
- It doesn't matter. It's fine, it's fine.

- Please.
- It's fine. Give me two minutes.

No, I can't give you two minutes.

Give me two minutes.
It's under control, okay?

I have it fine.

Okay, but in two minutes,
I'm going to come in there,

- And I'm going to...
- Shh.

Forcibly remove you.

My message warned you to stay away.

I know.

But I didn't come to see you.

I came to listen to the music.

I couldn't leave without saying

how exquisite your performance was.

Very sophisticated.

Very thoughtful.

You got me thinking.

And your technique with a bow.

Phew...

Even better than I remembered.

It's very nice for one's technique

to practice bowing of a floating ice shelf.

I've been performing
in Greenland, you know?

Yes, Greenland.

As part of my efforts to raise
awareness about climate change.

You got arrested, right?

Yeah.

Three times.

Three times in Greenland.

We succeeded.

Anna Maria...

Nothing changes.

I guess your hair changed.

That's very funny.

But it's just hair.

I guess I'll be leaving now.

All right, going in.

Maestro, the car is...

Oh my God, I'm so sorry.

Hey, Hailey!

Who is she?

Uh, me? I'm with the Maestro.

I mean, like, I work with him...

- No.
- Below him.

Underneath... Underneath him.

- You kissed her?
- What?

- No!
- No, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, she plays the oboe. No.

She's my assistant.

Then maybe I am seeing into the future.

Anna Maria, look into my eyes.

Calm down, look into my eyes.

Okay, no, no, no. Breath
in. Breathe in a little bit.

Oh, my God.

The day you left to conduct for Oslo

you became disloyal,

and faithless.

When you abandoned Mexico,
when you broke with my family,

you abandoned integrity.

For what? Celebrity?

The adoration of cheap little women?

No! No, she...

I told you, she plays the oboe.

Yeah, or maybe for some sickening
pursuit of glory, who knows?

- Glory?
- Yeah.

You think this is about glory?

Yeah.

Glory is for football players.

I'm about the magic. I'm
about the magic, okay?

- Yeah?
- Glory? Glory?

I'm leaving.

- I'm leaving.
- Baby, baby.

Que, Que, Que?

Just don't tell me I'm
about the glory. Come on.

- I'm sorry.
- Aye.

- Oh, baby.
- What?

Let's... Let's not make
a whole drama out of it.

No, don't make a drama.

We're adults now, okay?

Yeah. Of course.

Please, baby, I have one question.

When you go to sleep,

in your luxury apartment late at night,

your noise machine is drowning out
all the sounds of the city below.

- Yeah?
- How do you feel then?

I see what you're trying to say, yeah.

Does it bring your ego pleasure,

making dead music in your sterilized world?

Remarkable only for its lifeless artifice?

Don't say those things.

How do you feel then, mi Amor?

I see what you're saying. Ow.

You fucking disgust me.

- I disgust you?
- Yeah.

Fine. Okay, let me go. Let me go.

Let me go. Okay.

You know what? I'm gonna go.

Okay? Okay, yeah.

Because I'm about the magic.

I'm about the magic.

This is going to be TBD, okay?

This is how they say it in this country.

- TBD.
- TBD?

- TBD.
- TBD, TBD.

Hailey,

I told you not to let me go in.

Didn't I? Eh?

Oh, hey, um, sorry it's so late.

Alex texted me and told me
to come over after the show.

But my phone died, and...

Yeah, he's asleep.

Oh, fuck. Of course.

Um, okay, well,

I brought you guys, like,

this really shitty bottle of rosé.

Uh, as a congratulations.

Here, you should keep it.

Why don't you come in
and we'll just wake him up

and we can all drink it together?

Really?

Yeah, sounds like fun.

He's in my bed.

Oh.

He, like, fell asleep on your bed?

Yeah, he fucking does it all the time.

I'm worried he's narcoleptic, or something.

Uh...

Hey, um...

We don't know each other very well.

Uh, but, do you mind
if I ask you a question?

No, we're not fucking.

I mean, we used to, but, uh...

we kind of realized it was
screwing with our dancing

so we stopped, and that was 5 months ago.

That was your question, right?

Yeah. Well, I wasn't trying to be
that blunt about it, or anything.

But...

Mmm, well, I have a bluntness problem.

So I'm told.

Um, but, absolutely no fuckage

occurring between Alex and I.

Cool. No fuckage.

You know, I'm gonna hit the dusty trail.

I'm, like, super tired.

Why don't you guys just sleep in my bed

and I'll sleep in his?

That's so sweet.

I just got to get up
like, super early, so...

Is this what I said about
us sleeping together?

Because, honestly, it's so, so over,

and the bed thing, I feel like
he just kinda got used to it.

No, my roommate does it all the time.

I totally understand.

You are a fantastic dancer,
and I hope you enjoy the rosé.