Mork & Mindy (1978–1982): Season 4, Episode 15 - I Don't Remember Mama - full transcript
Orson erases Mork's family from Mork's memory in order for Mork to focus on his work.
No-no, na-no.
Come in, Your Oral Fixationship.
Orson's gonna love
this report. Ha, ha.
No, he won't.
He's gonna hate it.
I couldn't get this report
past a white defensive back.
Yeah.
I don't know, I don't know. I
mean, what do I say to him?
Well, Orson will buy anything
as long as I make him believe
that he's thin for a
very brief moment.
Okay. All right,
here goes nothing.
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
- Mork calling Orson.
- Hi.
- Ready to go?
- Oh, not now, little pooter.
I have to make
my report to Orson.
Come on, Mork. You've
had all week to do that.
I got off work early so we could
take Mearth clothes shopping.
Come on, talk to Orson later.
Oh, come on now,
Mind, he relies upon me
to keep him aware of
the late-breaking events
and technological advancements
and miraculous breakthroughs.
Oh, what's your report on?
Ants.
Come on, Mearth, we're going.
Oh, Mind, we can't go
unless you write me another
"Please excuse Mork" note.
- Come on, Mork...
- Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.
Hi, sweetheart.
I'm so glad we're going.
Listen, it's getting
late. Let's go, let's go.
Come on. Oh my gosh, let's go.
I thought kids were supposed
to hate to go clothes shopping.
I thought we'd have to drag him
out of here kicking and screaming.
Oh, so did I. That's why I told
him we were going to the circus.
This is a joke,
and I'm the butt of it.
Mearth, don't be...
Now, don't be like that.
I think you look very handsome.
- Doesn't he, Daddy?
- Yes.
Yes. What does he know?
He promised to
take me to the circus.
That's what your Mommy told me.
Oh, uh, sir.
We're ready to be altered.
Altered? Like Mrs.
Simmons' cat? I don't want him
moping around the house all
day and then laying on the TV.
So, what do you think?
That fits like a glove.
You've gotta be...
You know, you
can wear that home.
You've gotta be putting
me on. I mean, look at this.
- The shoulders need to be taken in.
- Oh, sure, yeah, okay.
And sleeves can go up.
Okay, sleeves here?
- Here?
- Yeah.
- The buttons can be moved over.
- All right.
And, uh, don't forget to erase
the chalk marks when you're done.
She acts like she's your mother.
She does, doesn't she?
I can't believe it.
Look at all these scribbly
marks he put all over me.
I feel like some kind
of rotten subway.
Do you know something?
Mother's Day is coming up.
I believe it's in May, and I
just canceled your present.
Mearth, I told you...
I told you we were
going clothes shopping,
and that's what we're
doing, and that's final.
Wait a minute, how
about a sailor suit?
You can't go anywhere
in a sailor suit.
Donald Duck does.
He's right, Mind, and Donald
Duck doesn't have to wear pants.
Why don't you see if they
have any suspenders?
You could use a pair.
I don't need them now. I'm waiting
for Emmett Kelly's garage sale.
Remember that tie I knitted you?
I could make you a pair
of suspenders to match.
Right. It never hurts to browse.
Come on, sweetheart.
Come with me.
Morning.
I knew it. You can
always tell by the part.
Well, thank you for inviting
me to your barbecue, sir,
and I'll be right back. I
think I forgot the potato salad.
I'm tired of waiting
for your report.
Do you have it or did your
neighbor's dog eat it again?
Are you kidding, sir?
Mr. Clutch with no report?
Come on now, I had
a real winner for you,
but I decided to
expand my perspective
and go for a subject
of broader scope.
Sir. Sir, I'd tell it to you,
but it's a little hard to articulate
while I'm being roasted.
Thank you, sir.
The report this week,
sir, will make you laugh,
it'll make you cry, it'll
become part of you.
Because today, I
tied Mearth's shoes.
Where did I put my lighter?
Come on now, have mercy.
Listen, I know my reports recently
have been about as interesting
as a PTA newsletter, but please...
- Silence!
You're not fulfilling
your mission on Earth.
The scope of your reports is
becoming alarmingly narrow.
You've been letting your
wife and son interfere
with your
responsibilities to Ork.
I've had enough!
You will eliminate all
contact with your family unit.
Come on now, sir, I can't.
I mean, they need me.
I'm head of the household,
king of the castle.
MC of the home version
of Hollywood Squares.
From now on, Mork,
concentrate on your job
and put your family aside.
Never, sir. Listen, I can
cope with being tied to a stake.
I can cope with being burned.
But I will never
forget my family.
Wanna bet?
When I get done with you,
the only thing you'll
remember about Earth
is not to stick a
fork in the toaster.
For sure, totally.
For sure. Ha-ha-ha.
Boxing has been
good to me, Howard.
Aah, ow.
Oh.
Greetings, I'm Mork
from Ork, na-no.
This may sound cliché but
will you take me to your leader?
Se habla Yiddish?
That takes care of the
suit, but to tell you the truth,
I don't have the strength
to go on for the shoes.
Let's just call it a
day, Mork, okay?
How do you know
my name, Earthling?
Oh, give me a break.
Can I just have the
checkbook, please?
I can't. Our planets don't
have trade agreements,
but will you take
me to your leader?
Are you putting me on?
Oh, I can't. I'm
afraid you wouldn't fit.
Mork.
The meanie tailor must have
dropped at least 50 pins in my pants.
I feel like I've
got prickly heat.
Na-no, I'm Mork from Ork.
Come on, Dad, I'm
Mearth, your son.
Oh, then I must be a moon. Aah.
Mommy, has he been
nipping on the ginger ale again?
No, sweetheart.
I think your dad is having
a little memory problem.
I think we better
go home right now.
Okay, the suit will be ready
in a couple of months, maybe.
Will that be cash or a charge?
- Oh, do you accept a charge?
- Oh, gladly.
Okay, okay.
Suit'll be ready
on Tuesday, huh?
- Come on.
- But where are you taking me?
- Home.
- Oh, but we just met.
Shouldn't we have a drink first?
I'll still respect you.
Oh, Earth primitive.
Just like a museum without
the overpriced gift shop.
- Now will you take me to your leader?
- I keep telling you,
you don't wanna meet our leader.
Look, Mork, look around.
Don't you recognize this place?
I mean, you live here
with me and Mearth.
- Who's Mearth?
- Me, your son.
Remember, the guy that carries
all the heavy stuff around the house?
And I'm your wife.
We're married.
Married? No, no. We
Orkans never marry.
And besides, I would never marry
a species who'd make Don Ho rich.
Mork, something has happened to
you to make you forget your life on Earth.
Here, sit down. I think maybe
I can help you to remember.
Oh, gladly.
Oh, no, I can't go
through this again.
Daddy, Daddy, that's way off.
Here, turn around.
Here, you sit just like this:
- Like I do.
- Kay-o. Ah!
Oh, all the blood is
rushing to my feet.
If we're not married, why are
we wearing matching rings?
Perhaps you like
the same cereal.
No.
It's because we made a commitment
to spend the rest of our lives together.
Whoa. Wait a minute there, whoa.
Getting a little too intense now.
I don't know what your game is,
lady, but I'm not staying around here.
Not gonna stay till
some hunchback goes,
"Quick, we must do this,"
and puts my brain in a jar.
- Wait a minute.
- No, no.
Mork!
Mork, we're not
trying to hurt you.
Mork, we're not trying
to hurt you, we love you.
Well, Mommy...
looks like I'm, uh, the
man of the house now.
Sort of looks that way,
doesn't it, sweetheart?
Mm-hm.
Fix dinner.
Hey.
Daddy?
Mork?
Shh! Down on your knees.
Don't you recognize
Sebal, god of humidity?
I sure do. That's right.
When it's his birthday,
we're out of school.
Come on.
Come with me. Come on over here.
This is the seat of honor.
Right here, right here.
Sit right down there.
And just think.
Mork from Ork,
this was your life.
Oh, if I'd only known, I would have
done something special to my hair.
Yes, Mork, you've had
a very interesting life.
You spent a typical Orkan
boyhood in a nursing home,
complaining about the
food and the sing-alongs.
- Oh, to be young and senile again.
- "Soon it was on to Chester A...
School for Boys,
where you were voted
most likely to wear wool.
You were sent to
Earth to observe.
There you met a beautiful,
small-nosed woman."
Listen.
Mork, I'll never forget the
day we exchanged our vows.
Remember, Orson
turned you into a dog?
And for weeks you kept
sneaking out for Gaines-Burgers.
Mork. Ha-ha-ha.
Do you recognize that voice?
Yes. Is it Ella Fitzgerald?
Phew. Ahem.
No, silly, that's Mom.
Mom? Is Moms Mabley here?
No.
It's Mindy McConnell.
Oh, it's you again.
You look great. I can't believe anybody
as foxy as you isn't married already.
I am married, Mork.
I'm married to you.
Think about it, Mork.
Oh.
- Mork...
- Oh, that'll be a lot easier this way.
Try to think of the good times.
Think of all the fun
we've had and the laughs.
Think about this, Mork.
Who do you call
your little pooter?
Is my old shop teacher
here, Mr. Bromex?
No, he's not here.
Oh, go ahead, Mearth.
"And so, with
your blushing bride,
you inherited a
wonderful family."
Listen.
Fredzo, wait.
You're not supposed to
go out until I say my line.
How come you got
a line and I didn't?
Oh, you're such a wiener.
Oh! This is ridiculous.
- Dad.
- Hi.
Mr. Bromex!
Mr. Bromex, it really is you.
No, Mork, it's Dad. Fred
McConnell and Grandma Cora.
Look at them, Mork,
and concentrate.
Oh, isn't she a
little young for him?
Honey... Come here, honey.
Now, every now and then
we're given a second chance,
and when that
opportunity comes along,
you gotta be smart enough to
know how to take advantage of it.
Now, look, I'll go
warm up the car,
we'll take Mork out for a
little ride and we'll drop him off.
Say, in, uh, a silo
in South Dakota.
- Grandma, he's doing it again.
- Oh, Fred, lay off.
Now, the kids are very happy.
Happy? He doesn't
even know who she is.
- Dad...
- Please, please, please.
We'll have time to talk about all
this at the party after the show.
Will you take your seats?
Take your seats, please.
The couch, two chairs.
Will you take yours, please?
Thank you, thank you.
Mork, you've encountered
many beings in your travels,
but none as eccentric
as this next person.
Mork, is that you?
Exidor, is that you?
He remembers! He remembers.
Mork, this is a red-letter day.
You've got your memory back,
and I'm finally gonna
meet Moms Mabley.
Exidor, it's so good to see you.
I mean, I was getting really
lonely having no one to really talk to.
Ask him more questions
so that he remembers more.
Forget it. I owe him $10.
I'll cover it.
In that case, he owes me 20.
- Mindy, I have a full tank of gas.
- Good.
I'll get you a match.
I've got it.
I know what to do.
The solution is as simple and
plain as the nose on Pepe's face.
Hypnosis.
All I need is a gold watch.
- Hey!
- Here.
Thank you.
Unfortunately, a subject cannot
be hypnotized unless he's willing.
Safe!
Juanita, you got
away with it this time,
but don't you ever,
ever take that big a lead
on the left-handed
pitcher again.
- Mork, step into my office.
- Gladly.
Hi, Skeeter.
Working on a
little sister for you.
All right, Mork, put your
hands in front of your face
and repeat after me.
"Oh, no, please don't."
All right.
Oh, no, please don't.
Too late.
That man is an
absolute raving lunatic.
Madam, you flatter me.
- Are you all right?
- Who are you?
Amazing.
Total amnesia.
All right, get out of my house.
Oh, no, no, thank you
very much, but I have to go.
Tonight is the first Annual
Exidor Dance Marathon.
You run 26 miles
and then bunny hop
across the finish line.
I don't care what the guy said,
I was standing right
there and Juanita was out.
Well, I guess now's
as good a time as any.
Oh, God.
Come in.
I don't mean to be patronizing,
but on Ork we have doorbells.
Well, we're a slow
but happy people.
Anything on your mind?
Well, besides 14 pounds per square
inch air pressure, nothing really,
except I want to thank you very
much for your hospitality this evening,
and I'd like to find out what was
the name of that dessert we had?
Jell-O.
You used to love to
eat it in the mornings.
But then you don't
remember, do you?
What are you doing?
Well, whenever I get depressed,
I engage in an old Earth custom
called cleaning out the closet.
- Mind if I watch?
- No, actually you could help.
- Half of the stuff is yours.
- Ooh.
Is this mine?
No.
Too bad, it's my color.
Whoa, ha, ha!
Where did you get
this stuffed Splock?
Was the Orkan carnival
passing through here?
No. You won this for
me on our honeymoon.
You won it by throwing lead
bottles at a pile of softballs.
Remember?
Then we went to the anti-gravity
bar to hear your favorite group,
Wink Geezba and
the Gold Diggers.
I remembered we danced
on air till the suns came up.
And we went for a little walk
on the beach, and you told me...
I guess it doesn't matter
what you told me, does it?
Your eyes are leaking.
It's called crying.
Why are you crying?
Oh, I'm crying because...
Because you're
here and I miss you.
Oh.
What are you doing now?
I'm expressing emotion.
See, on Earth, when people
love each other, they do this.
The capital of
New York is Albany.
What did you say?
You have a mole on the bottom of
your foot shaped like Scatman Crothers.
Oh! I'm about to remember
something really important now.
- About us?
- No.
That Italian restaurants
are closed on Mondays.
Oh. Oh!
The memory dam is breaking!
It's all coming back to me now.
But I need some help.
Now I know I... I can remember
everything except all the teams
in the National Hockey
League. We better try once more.
I finally remembered
what I wanted to say to you.
- Oh, what?
- I love you.
Oh, Mork...
Oh, Mork, I was so scared.
What happened to you?
Where have you been?
When?
- When you got amnesia.
- Oh, I was trying to forget that, Mind.
You know...
You know what happened?
Orson got a little mad at me,
and, well, he closed my
account in the memory bank.
- Why?
- Well, see,
I've been spending so much
time with you and Mearth that...
Well, I've been
neglecting my job.
And he thinks I'm
a bad observer.
I keep forgetting that what
you do is a real important job.
I mean, it's not like you get a W-2
form or you have a pension plan.
And you get paid in sand.
Yeah, but it's still my
job, Mind. I've blown it.
See, I've even let my
subscription to Ebony run out.
Well, we'll just
have to renew that.
And also, we're gonna
have to make sure
that you spend as
much time as you need
to make your job a good one.
Oh, Mork, you're gonna be
the best observer Ork ever had.
Even better than Andy Rooney?
Yes. And neater too.
Just one more shot
for old time's sake.
I remember our phone number now.
It's all coming back to me.
Hello.
Dad. No, no, no.
Dad, wait, wait, wait.
I've got some great news.
Mork remembers.
That is the great news.
Well, he likes you.
Talk to you later. Goodbye.
You know...
Lady. Lady, it's
happening again.
- Oh, no.
- I'm losing it.
I'm fading back
into the distance.
I don't know. All I can
remember is one word.
Big kiss.
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
Mork calling Orson. Come
in, Your Saturated Fatship.
And now for the
fast-breaking news of Earth.
Reported with keen
insight and renewed vigor,
plus greetings from
the McConnell clan.
- You remember your family?
- Of course, sir.
I'd better check the warranty
on that memory helmet.
Oh, it works fine, sir,
but nothing can make
me forget those that I love.
Of course, you must keep in
mind your responsibilities too.
Allow me to demonstrate, sir.
Notice, while I am
balancing this ball,
I am also carrying on a
serious conversation with you.
Fascinating illustration.
Sorry, sir, I can't hear you.
I'm concentrating on the ball.
That's the point I
want to make, sir.
You see, when you accept the
responsibility of a job and a family,
you must be very careful to
fulfill your duties to each one.
Yeah, it's easy once you
get the hang of it. Ha-ha-ha.
Isn't this the kind of snazzy
report you've been looking for, sir?
It's got everything.
Handsome leading man,
staggering special effects,
memorable theme song.
Morko, the boy from
beyond You know...
Why do I put up with him?
If it wasn't for the
pension, I'd quit.
Come in, Your Oral Fixationship.
Orson's gonna love
this report. Ha, ha.
No, he won't.
He's gonna hate it.
I couldn't get this report
past a white defensive back.
Yeah.
I don't know, I don't know. I
mean, what do I say to him?
Well, Orson will buy anything
as long as I make him believe
that he's thin for a
very brief moment.
Okay. All right,
here goes nothing.
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
- Mork calling Orson.
- Hi.
- Ready to go?
- Oh, not now, little pooter.
I have to make
my report to Orson.
Come on, Mork. You've
had all week to do that.
I got off work early so we could
take Mearth clothes shopping.
Come on, talk to Orson later.
Oh, come on now,
Mind, he relies upon me
to keep him aware of
the late-breaking events
and technological advancements
and miraculous breakthroughs.
Oh, what's your report on?
Ants.
Come on, Mearth, we're going.
Oh, Mind, we can't go
unless you write me another
"Please excuse Mork" note.
- Come on, Mork...
- Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.
Hi, sweetheart.
I'm so glad we're going.
Listen, it's getting
late. Let's go, let's go.
Come on. Oh my gosh, let's go.
I thought kids were supposed
to hate to go clothes shopping.
I thought we'd have to drag him
out of here kicking and screaming.
Oh, so did I. That's why I told
him we were going to the circus.
This is a joke,
and I'm the butt of it.
Mearth, don't be...
Now, don't be like that.
I think you look very handsome.
- Doesn't he, Daddy?
- Yes.
Yes. What does he know?
He promised to
take me to the circus.
That's what your Mommy told me.
Oh, uh, sir.
We're ready to be altered.
Altered? Like Mrs.
Simmons' cat? I don't want him
moping around the house all
day and then laying on the TV.
So, what do you think?
That fits like a glove.
You've gotta be...
You know, you
can wear that home.
You've gotta be putting
me on. I mean, look at this.
- The shoulders need to be taken in.
- Oh, sure, yeah, okay.
And sleeves can go up.
Okay, sleeves here?
- Here?
- Yeah.
- The buttons can be moved over.
- All right.
And, uh, don't forget to erase
the chalk marks when you're done.
She acts like she's your mother.
She does, doesn't she?
I can't believe it.
Look at all these scribbly
marks he put all over me.
I feel like some kind
of rotten subway.
Do you know something?
Mother's Day is coming up.
I believe it's in May, and I
just canceled your present.
Mearth, I told you...
I told you we were
going clothes shopping,
and that's what we're
doing, and that's final.
Wait a minute, how
about a sailor suit?
You can't go anywhere
in a sailor suit.
Donald Duck does.
He's right, Mind, and Donald
Duck doesn't have to wear pants.
Why don't you see if they
have any suspenders?
You could use a pair.
I don't need them now. I'm waiting
for Emmett Kelly's garage sale.
Remember that tie I knitted you?
I could make you a pair
of suspenders to match.
Right. It never hurts to browse.
Come on, sweetheart.
Come with me.
Morning.
I knew it. You can
always tell by the part.
Well, thank you for inviting
me to your barbecue, sir,
and I'll be right back. I
think I forgot the potato salad.
I'm tired of waiting
for your report.
Do you have it or did your
neighbor's dog eat it again?
Are you kidding, sir?
Mr. Clutch with no report?
Come on now, I had
a real winner for you,
but I decided to
expand my perspective
and go for a subject
of broader scope.
Sir. Sir, I'd tell it to you,
but it's a little hard to articulate
while I'm being roasted.
Thank you, sir.
The report this week,
sir, will make you laugh,
it'll make you cry, it'll
become part of you.
Because today, I
tied Mearth's shoes.
Where did I put my lighter?
Come on now, have mercy.
Listen, I know my reports recently
have been about as interesting
as a PTA newsletter, but please...
- Silence!
You're not fulfilling
your mission on Earth.
The scope of your reports is
becoming alarmingly narrow.
You've been letting your
wife and son interfere
with your
responsibilities to Ork.
I've had enough!
You will eliminate all
contact with your family unit.
Come on now, sir, I can't.
I mean, they need me.
I'm head of the household,
king of the castle.
MC of the home version
of Hollywood Squares.
From now on, Mork,
concentrate on your job
and put your family aside.
Never, sir. Listen, I can
cope with being tied to a stake.
I can cope with being burned.
But I will never
forget my family.
Wanna bet?
When I get done with you,
the only thing you'll
remember about Earth
is not to stick a
fork in the toaster.
For sure, totally.
For sure. Ha-ha-ha.
Boxing has been
good to me, Howard.
Aah, ow.
Oh.
Greetings, I'm Mork
from Ork, na-no.
This may sound cliché but
will you take me to your leader?
Se habla Yiddish?
That takes care of the
suit, but to tell you the truth,
I don't have the strength
to go on for the shoes.
Let's just call it a
day, Mork, okay?
How do you know
my name, Earthling?
Oh, give me a break.
Can I just have the
checkbook, please?
I can't. Our planets don't
have trade agreements,
but will you take
me to your leader?
Are you putting me on?
Oh, I can't. I'm
afraid you wouldn't fit.
Mork.
The meanie tailor must have
dropped at least 50 pins in my pants.
I feel like I've
got prickly heat.
Na-no, I'm Mork from Ork.
Come on, Dad, I'm
Mearth, your son.
Oh, then I must be a moon. Aah.
Mommy, has he been
nipping on the ginger ale again?
No, sweetheart.
I think your dad is having
a little memory problem.
I think we better
go home right now.
Okay, the suit will be ready
in a couple of months, maybe.
Will that be cash or a charge?
- Oh, do you accept a charge?
- Oh, gladly.
Okay, okay.
Suit'll be ready
on Tuesday, huh?
- Come on.
- But where are you taking me?
- Home.
- Oh, but we just met.
Shouldn't we have a drink first?
I'll still respect you.
Oh, Earth primitive.
Just like a museum without
the overpriced gift shop.
- Now will you take me to your leader?
- I keep telling you,
you don't wanna meet our leader.
Look, Mork, look around.
Don't you recognize this place?
I mean, you live here
with me and Mearth.
- Who's Mearth?
- Me, your son.
Remember, the guy that carries
all the heavy stuff around the house?
And I'm your wife.
We're married.
Married? No, no. We
Orkans never marry.
And besides, I would never marry
a species who'd make Don Ho rich.
Mork, something has happened to
you to make you forget your life on Earth.
Here, sit down. I think maybe
I can help you to remember.
Oh, gladly.
Oh, no, I can't go
through this again.
Daddy, Daddy, that's way off.
Here, turn around.
Here, you sit just like this:
- Like I do.
- Kay-o. Ah!
Oh, all the blood is
rushing to my feet.
If we're not married, why are
we wearing matching rings?
Perhaps you like
the same cereal.
No.
It's because we made a commitment
to spend the rest of our lives together.
Whoa. Wait a minute there, whoa.
Getting a little too intense now.
I don't know what your game is,
lady, but I'm not staying around here.
Not gonna stay till
some hunchback goes,
"Quick, we must do this,"
and puts my brain in a jar.
- Wait a minute.
- No, no.
Mork!
Mork, we're not
trying to hurt you.
Mork, we're not trying
to hurt you, we love you.
Well, Mommy...
looks like I'm, uh, the
man of the house now.
Sort of looks that way,
doesn't it, sweetheart?
Mm-hm.
Fix dinner.
Hey.
Daddy?
Mork?
Shh! Down on your knees.
Don't you recognize
Sebal, god of humidity?
I sure do. That's right.
When it's his birthday,
we're out of school.
Come on.
Come with me. Come on over here.
This is the seat of honor.
Right here, right here.
Sit right down there.
And just think.
Mork from Ork,
this was your life.
Oh, if I'd only known, I would have
done something special to my hair.
Yes, Mork, you've had
a very interesting life.
You spent a typical Orkan
boyhood in a nursing home,
complaining about the
food and the sing-alongs.
- Oh, to be young and senile again.
- "Soon it was on to Chester A...
School for Boys,
where you were voted
most likely to wear wool.
You were sent to
Earth to observe.
There you met a beautiful,
small-nosed woman."
Listen.
Mork, I'll never forget the
day we exchanged our vows.
Remember, Orson
turned you into a dog?
And for weeks you kept
sneaking out for Gaines-Burgers.
Mork. Ha-ha-ha.
Do you recognize that voice?
Yes. Is it Ella Fitzgerald?
Phew. Ahem.
No, silly, that's Mom.
Mom? Is Moms Mabley here?
No.
It's Mindy McConnell.
Oh, it's you again.
You look great. I can't believe anybody
as foxy as you isn't married already.
I am married, Mork.
I'm married to you.
Think about it, Mork.
Oh.
- Mork...
- Oh, that'll be a lot easier this way.
Try to think of the good times.
Think of all the fun
we've had and the laughs.
Think about this, Mork.
Who do you call
your little pooter?
Is my old shop teacher
here, Mr. Bromex?
No, he's not here.
Oh, go ahead, Mearth.
"And so, with
your blushing bride,
you inherited a
wonderful family."
Listen.
Fredzo, wait.
You're not supposed to
go out until I say my line.
How come you got
a line and I didn't?
Oh, you're such a wiener.
Oh! This is ridiculous.
- Dad.
- Hi.
Mr. Bromex!
Mr. Bromex, it really is you.
No, Mork, it's Dad. Fred
McConnell and Grandma Cora.
Look at them, Mork,
and concentrate.
Oh, isn't she a
little young for him?
Honey... Come here, honey.
Now, every now and then
we're given a second chance,
and when that
opportunity comes along,
you gotta be smart enough to
know how to take advantage of it.
Now, look, I'll go
warm up the car,
we'll take Mork out for a
little ride and we'll drop him off.
Say, in, uh, a silo
in South Dakota.
- Grandma, he's doing it again.
- Oh, Fred, lay off.
Now, the kids are very happy.
Happy? He doesn't
even know who she is.
- Dad...
- Please, please, please.
We'll have time to talk about all
this at the party after the show.
Will you take your seats?
Take your seats, please.
The couch, two chairs.
Will you take yours, please?
Thank you, thank you.
Mork, you've encountered
many beings in your travels,
but none as eccentric
as this next person.
Mork, is that you?
Exidor, is that you?
He remembers! He remembers.
Mork, this is a red-letter day.
You've got your memory back,
and I'm finally gonna
meet Moms Mabley.
Exidor, it's so good to see you.
I mean, I was getting really
lonely having no one to really talk to.
Ask him more questions
so that he remembers more.
Forget it. I owe him $10.
I'll cover it.
In that case, he owes me 20.
- Mindy, I have a full tank of gas.
- Good.
I'll get you a match.
I've got it.
I know what to do.
The solution is as simple and
plain as the nose on Pepe's face.
Hypnosis.
All I need is a gold watch.
- Hey!
- Here.
Thank you.
Unfortunately, a subject cannot
be hypnotized unless he's willing.
Safe!
Juanita, you got
away with it this time,
but don't you ever,
ever take that big a lead
on the left-handed
pitcher again.
- Mork, step into my office.
- Gladly.
Hi, Skeeter.
Working on a
little sister for you.
All right, Mork, put your
hands in front of your face
and repeat after me.
"Oh, no, please don't."
All right.
Oh, no, please don't.
Too late.
That man is an
absolute raving lunatic.
Madam, you flatter me.
- Are you all right?
- Who are you?
Amazing.
Total amnesia.
All right, get out of my house.
Oh, no, no, thank you
very much, but I have to go.
Tonight is the first Annual
Exidor Dance Marathon.
You run 26 miles
and then bunny hop
across the finish line.
I don't care what the guy said,
I was standing right
there and Juanita was out.
Well, I guess now's
as good a time as any.
Oh, God.
Come in.
I don't mean to be patronizing,
but on Ork we have doorbells.
Well, we're a slow
but happy people.
Anything on your mind?
Well, besides 14 pounds per square
inch air pressure, nothing really,
except I want to thank you very
much for your hospitality this evening,
and I'd like to find out what was
the name of that dessert we had?
Jell-O.
You used to love to
eat it in the mornings.
But then you don't
remember, do you?
What are you doing?
Well, whenever I get depressed,
I engage in an old Earth custom
called cleaning out the closet.
- Mind if I watch?
- No, actually you could help.
- Half of the stuff is yours.
- Ooh.
Is this mine?
No.
Too bad, it's my color.
Whoa, ha, ha!
Where did you get
this stuffed Splock?
Was the Orkan carnival
passing through here?
No. You won this for
me on our honeymoon.
You won it by throwing lead
bottles at a pile of softballs.
Remember?
Then we went to the anti-gravity
bar to hear your favorite group,
Wink Geezba and
the Gold Diggers.
I remembered we danced
on air till the suns came up.
And we went for a little walk
on the beach, and you told me...
I guess it doesn't matter
what you told me, does it?
Your eyes are leaking.
It's called crying.
Why are you crying?
Oh, I'm crying because...
Because you're
here and I miss you.
Oh.
What are you doing now?
I'm expressing emotion.
See, on Earth, when people
love each other, they do this.
The capital of
New York is Albany.
What did you say?
You have a mole on the bottom of
your foot shaped like Scatman Crothers.
Oh! I'm about to remember
something really important now.
- About us?
- No.
That Italian restaurants
are closed on Mondays.
Oh. Oh!
The memory dam is breaking!
It's all coming back to me now.
But I need some help.
Now I know I... I can remember
everything except all the teams
in the National Hockey
League. We better try once more.
I finally remembered
what I wanted to say to you.
- Oh, what?
- I love you.
Oh, Mork...
Oh, Mork, I was so scared.
What happened to you?
Where have you been?
When?
- When you got amnesia.
- Oh, I was trying to forget that, Mind.
You know...
You know what happened?
Orson got a little mad at me,
and, well, he closed my
account in the memory bank.
- Why?
- Well, see,
I've been spending so much
time with you and Mearth that...
Well, I've been
neglecting my job.
And he thinks I'm
a bad observer.
I keep forgetting that what
you do is a real important job.
I mean, it's not like you get a W-2
form or you have a pension plan.
And you get paid in sand.
Yeah, but it's still my
job, Mind. I've blown it.
See, I've even let my
subscription to Ebony run out.
Well, we'll just
have to renew that.
And also, we're gonna
have to make sure
that you spend as
much time as you need
to make your job a good one.
Oh, Mork, you're gonna be
the best observer Ork ever had.
Even better than Andy Rooney?
Yes. And neater too.
Just one more shot
for old time's sake.
I remember our phone number now.
It's all coming back to me.
Hello.
Dad. No, no, no.
Dad, wait, wait, wait.
I've got some great news.
Mork remembers.
That is the great news.
Well, he likes you.
Talk to you later. Goodbye.
You know...
Lady. Lady, it's
happening again.
- Oh, no.
- I'm losing it.
I'm fading back
into the distance.
I don't know. All I can
remember is one word.
Big kiss.
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
Mork calling Orson. Come
in, Your Saturated Fatship.
And now for the
fast-breaking news of Earth.
Reported with keen
insight and renewed vigor,
plus greetings from
the McConnell clan.
- You remember your family?
- Of course, sir.
I'd better check the warranty
on that memory helmet.
Oh, it works fine, sir,
but nothing can make
me forget those that I love.
Of course, you must keep in
mind your responsibilities too.
Allow me to demonstrate, sir.
Notice, while I am
balancing this ball,
I am also carrying on a
serious conversation with you.
Fascinating illustration.
Sorry, sir, I can't hear you.
I'm concentrating on the ball.
That's the point I
want to make, sir.
You see, when you accept the
responsibility of a job and a family,
you must be very careful to
fulfill your duties to each one.
Yeah, it's easy once you
get the hang of it. Ha-ha-ha.
Isn't this the kind of snazzy
report you've been looking for, sir?
It's got everything.
Handsome leading man,
staggering special effects,
memorable theme song.
Morko, the boy from
beyond You know...
Why do I put up with him?
If it wasn't for the
pension, I'd quit.