Mork & Mindy (1978–1982): Season 4, Episode 13 - Metamorphosis - The TV Show - full transcript
A short circuit causes Mork and Mearth to switch minds.
Na-no, na-no.
Well, I guess that's all
the time we have for today.
I'd like to thank my
guests, Mary Snyder,
the author of the best-seller
I Bet You'll Ban Nuclear Energy
After Your Hair and Teeth Fall Out,
and also our local Rubik's
Cube expert, Tommy Nesbitt.
Thank you, Tommy, it's
been a wonderful week.
And as Wake Up, Boulder
completes its first week on the air,
I'd like to thank someone
who exhibited a great deal of faith
in this program and in my career,
our general manager
Miles Sternhagen.
And so this is Mindy
McConnell signing off for now,
wishing you blue
skies and green lights.
Don't just sit
there, shake hands.
Pretend you just
heard something funny.
And we're out.
Well, it was nice of you to say
all those things about Sternhagen.
I'm sure it'll be a
real comfort to him.
Why? What's wrong? Is he sick?
This show ought to be
called Wake Up, Mindy.
- Sternhagen's out, he's been axed.
- You're kidding!
No, we got us a new boss.
So you just polished
the wrong guy's apple.
He's such a jerk.
I did it! Turn on the
cameras! I'm finished!
Yeah? You're not the only one.
All aboard for the
McConnell Express,
now leaving for Anaheim,
Azusa and Cucamonga.
Oh, Pops, it's
perfect in every detail.
Look at that. Little
people, little horses.
All you're missing
is a robber baron
and exploited Chinese labor
going, "I got to get to San Francisco."
Daddy, Daddy, can I be the
engineer? Can I, can I, can I?
Mearth... Mearth, I think
you just better watch me
for a while so you
can get the hang of it.
You know, I gave these trains
to Mindy over 20 years ago,
but she wasn't interested in
any toy that didn't cry or wet
or have a best
friend named Midge.
You know something, Grandpops?
That was a very
moving, nostalgic speech.
Now, fork over the controls!
Oh, no! What a bummer!
Oh. Hey, Mearth, it's okay.
Oh, Mearth, Mearth, it's all right.
It's just a few loose
connections on the transformer.
It's old and it doesn't
work very well.
You understand, son,
like the Nielsen ratings.
Hi. You'll never
guess what happened.
- They fired Sternhagen.
- Hi, hon. Big kiss.
Hold it! Come on now,
fork over those controls!
Put all the coal in the bag and
start shoveling the money in the fire.
Stop that, Daddy! Stop it.
We're playing trains,
and I'm brand-new to this.
You mustn't be a robber
all the time and do that.
Come on, let me get used
to playing with the train.
Come on now.
Come on, son, you had your
chance and you blew it really big.
- Now, come on.
- Hey, is anybody listening to me?
I mean, I think my career is more
important than playing with trains.
Mind, the 5:15's coming down
the line. If no one throws the switch,
Zeke's not gonna get his
mail-order bride named Gilda.
Will you turn that thing
off just for a minute?
Uh, we're sorry, sweetheart.
You're absolutely right.
Tell us what
happened. Right, Mork?
Of course. I should
be the dutiful husband.
Besides, Zeke sent her
a phony picture anyway.
Mommy, I'd really like to
help you, but my hands are tied
because I have to
experience this railroad stuff.
I understand, sweetheart.
Anyway, they fired Sternhagen.
They just tossed him out
on his heel without a word.
Is there nothing sacred?
First The Ropers,
now Miles Sternhagen.
Mork. See, Sternhagen hired me.
I mean, he gave me
my shot at my own show.
Now I don't know
what's gonna happen.
Oh, honey, you're very good. What
you do on your own is very good.
You'll be just fine without him.
Mearth, don't you tie that
little family to the tracks!
Oh, come on!
Are you kidding, Grandpops?
They're only rubber.
Oh, come here, my little
breadwinner. Come on. You're upset.
You have to remember that
the darkest is always about 3 a.m.
Yeah, but, Mork, if you'd heard the
plug I gave Sternhagen on the air today.
I don't know, if the new boss
heard it, I could lose my job.
Oh, well, that
could be a problem.
If you're out of work, I mean,
who's gonna pay for the food,
the rent, the bills, and
those little smoke pellets
for the engine over there?
All aboard! Head them up!
- Go ahead.
Go ahead. Good.
The way I see it, if you
work hard and do a good job,
- they'll always keep you around.
- Oh, yeah, you're right.
I'm really not that worried.
How's my hair? Do I
have on too much lip gloss?
- No, you look fine.
- Okay.
Mindy, what are
you so uptight about?
So this guy Pierson is a hotshot
with a published
thesis on programming.
He's barely out of college.
And besides, I'm
safe in sportscasting.
There's always a stink
when they fire a minority.
Oh, I'm really
not that insecure.
I mean, after all, Boulder does
have to wake up in the morning, right?
But not with you.
Ahem. Here comes our new
boss. The one wearing the retainer.
That's Pierson?
He looks more like the general
manager of a McDonald's.
- I think he's kind of cute.
- Who cares?
You know how I've lasted so long?
I've always kept my self-respect.
Never kowtowed to
any of them. Excuse me.
How do you do there, Mr. Pierson?
Jake Loomis, cameraman.
- Pleasure.
- Yeah, nice suit there.
You know, I've been with
the station for 29 years now.
I've got all the inside
dirt on everybody.
Jake, in all the world there's
nothing sadder than an old fink.
- You're fired.
- Oh, fine, great.
Well, let me tell you.
You're gonna meet the same
people on your way down
as you did on your way up!
Sonny!
Poor Jake. I feel sorry for him.
- And I don't even like him.
- Yeah, me too.
I wonder if I can get
his parking space.
May I have your attention,
please? Thank you.
I am Daniel Pierson,
your new general manager.
Now, first of all, I would like
to put an end to the rumor
that people are
going to be fired.
That is not a
rumor. That is a fact.
Tonight, I am planning an
informal but mandatory get-together
here at the station, to
share some of my ideas
and get to know
your families better.
So I want to make
KTNS the place to be.
At least, for some of us.
Well, let's all try to
keep in touch, okay?
- Sure, Mindy.
- Yeah.
Mr. Pierson. Stan
Jackson, sports at 6 and 10.
- Pleasure.
- Ooh, hey. Wow.
What a grip you got there.
You know, you'd look
great in a Broncos jacket.
Oh, there's something I'd
like to remind you of, I'm black.
Hi, I'm Judi, your
weather person.
I'd like to welcome you
with a big KTNS warm front.
Heh. How sweet.
Heh. She's very sweet.
There's more where
that came from.
Mind. Mind, Mind, am I glad
I caught up with you, hon.
Hon, I've got an
important telegram
from a major news
network in New York.
- Mork, don't do this to me.
- Read it, hon? I have to sing it!
Five, six, seven, eight.
We're looking for a newscaster
One who speaks quite well
And who doesn't wear a
toupee Like Howard Cosell
And if you've been
through college
Please join our team
Signed Roone Arledge
Mindy, is your parking
space any closer than Jake's?
Mr. Pierson, that
was just a little joke.
I'm Mindy McConnell,
employee, for now. Ha-ha.
This is my husband Mork.
He was just kidding around.
He's a little nervous
about my job.
- Ha-ha-ha-ha.
- Oh, Mindy, please, don't apologize.
I want you to know that I
appreciate family concern.
Well, just this morning
my mom called me
to make sure that I had
dressed warm. Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Oh, ha-ha.
Well, Oedipus schmedipus,
Mindy really loves mama's boys.
Oh, Mindy, I just love
his sense of humor.
You be sure to bring
him to the party tonight.
I bet he can give me
a couple of pointers
- on where young people are at.
- Oh, I will.
- For sure.
- I will.
Don't you have to be
leaving now, honey?
- No.
- Think again.
You're right.
I should go home and wait
by the phone for those calls
that are gonna come
pouring in, babe.
Sweetheart, I'm gonna do for you
what Alan Hamel did
for Suzanne Sommers.
I think you already did.
Well, you tell a friend. - Heh.
Oh, no! No!
The train is stopped!
You bad engineer.
Daddy, come in here, please,
and make it work. Please.
Oh, what's wrong, son? Oh, where's
that happy face I know so well?
"Where's that happy
face I know so well?"
If you wanna see a
happy face, go see Annie.
If you wanna see
my face, see this.
- Oh, little bulldog boy, no!
- Aargh.
Come on now, I'll fix the trains
and I'll make them run better than
Mussolini ever did, now come on.
Just tighten this little doohickey
here, this little doohickey there.
Ha-ha! And voilà, it's fixed!
Mr. Goodwrench, move
over. All right, now...
You know something, Daddy?
You're truly a superior being.
Oh, shucks, son. Let's play
this one together. Ready?
- Daddy?
- Yes, son?
Why am I talking to
you and looking at me?
Holy shazbot!
Wait, don't panic.
There's an explanation for this. There's
always an explanation for everything.
The only thing I
can't explain is this.
Why is it that Bob Hope
is still doing commercials?
Everything was fine until...
Don't do that.
- Hey, Mork, are you there?
- I'll go.
Can you open the
door? My hands are full.
It's your mother.
Now, try to relax.
Relax and pretend nothing
happened, you understand?
It'll put her uptight,
so just relax and just...
- No, no. No, no, no!
- Cut, cut! No! Stop it!
What's going on here?
Little pooter. Mind, Mind,
Mind. Big kiss, big kiss.
- What did you say, Mearth?
- I didn't say anything, Mommy.
Oh, you stoolie.
Crossed minds.
I got a little taller, huh?
Right? Did I do good?
Why me?
You transferred minds
through a train set?
This is like a bad horror movie,
only I'm married to the mad scientist.
Mind, wrong body. I'm over here.
Oh, right.
- Um, well, how long is this gonna last?
- I don't know.
I don't know. Maybe 24 hours,
150 years. What do I know?
We gotta get to that party where
they have little crackers. Let's go.
- Mearth, look...
- Yes, Mommy.
Um...
Mearth, go upstairs to your bedroom
while your father and I have a little talk.
Oh. So that's the way it is.
He's in and I'm out.
You've asked for it once
again, Butchie returns.
I'll tell you something,
son, once and for all.
Don't do that. Your
face will freeze.
No! No. Who cares?
Who cares anyway?
It's not my body.
Ooh, you're a joke!
I'm hip.
- Okay, okay, Mind.
- Mork, sit down.
I'm ready, ready, kay-o.
Kay-o, kay-o. Going to the party.
It's late, and we
ought to get to the party
- as soon as we can, that's all.
- Go to the party?
Mork, I can't take you
to the party with that face.
Little pooter. Mind, Mind, Mind.
About this face, I wanna
make something clear,
just as clear as
your complexion.
Okay? Chances are the boss is
gonna come over to look at Mork, right?
Then take my body, please.
My job is hanging
by a thread as it is.
I can't take Mearth to
the party. He's just a child.
That's true, but I'll
tell you something.
He's half a superior
being, remember that?
He'll be almost as good
as I would have been.
That's what I'm afraid of.
Call this a party? Where's
the cake and the little party hats
and the pushy father
with the camera going,
"Stay by the bull,
stay by the bull"? No!
Mork... Mearth. Mearth,
remember, my job is at stake.
Now remember our agreement.
If you're a good boy and
you don't embarrass Mommy,
then I'll give you that
note to get out of gym.
- I'll try and act like an adult, Mommy.
- Okay. Good boy.
I think Mommy should
do all the talking, so shh.
Jake. Well, I'm glad
to see you're back.
Stuffed mushroom, Mindy?
Boy, are you older than dirt.
Give me a break. Ain't I
had enough for one day?
Uh, no, thank you, but I'm
glad to see you're working again.
Yeah, well, this
is just temporary.
I'm gonna ask Pierson
for my job back tonight.
If he says no,
I'm gonna kill him.
Good evening, everyone!
Hey, thanks for coming.
And now, I would like to
introduce you to the future of KTNS.
Ju Ju.
Now, this is our
morning schedule.
You will notice that the only
major change is the removal
of Wake Up, Boulder
and Kartoon Karnival
in place of our morning movie.
So, Mindy, Skipper
Bill, you're out.
Don't worry, Mindy, he's dead.
Now, I am planning a powerhouse
opening for the new season.
To kick off the Monday movie,
you can look forward
to Ben Gazzara week.
So let's all pull together
and make KTNS
the biggest little
independent station in Boulder.
Mr. Pierson, I think
you've made a mistake.
And I'm not just saying this
because I am the host of the show,
but I really believe
that Wake Up, Boulder
is an important, vital program
and really performs a
service to this community.
Look, Mindy, it's
essential that you know
that what I've done has
nothing to do with you personally.
- It is strict economics.
- Well...
- You know, I like the Road Runner.
- Excuse me?
- Not now, not now.
- No, no, Mindy, let him talk.
I like to hear what the
general public has to say.
Oh, maybe not. Heh.
Well, I like the way the
Road Runner goes beep-beep.
And then I go beep-beep.
Are you saying that a
grown man like yourself
watches cartoons every morning?
Yes, I've seen Popeye 14 times.
And if you run it
backwards, it has an ending.
But, you know...
basically, what I
really like is, like,
when the coyote paints a
tunnel on the side of a mountain
and then the Road Runner just
goes, vroom, right through the tunnel
and then when the coyote
tries to go through, vroom, boom,
he becomes two-dimensional.
I think... I think what
Mork is trying to say
is that he appreciates
an altered sense of reality.
You know, something that contrasts
the drabness of everyday life.
I knew that.
However, Mindy, I want you
to know that my morning movie
will accomplish
the very same thing.
Bummer, this is not real.
What does he mean by that?
You don't know?
Well, heh, of course I know.
It's just a simple, um,
metaphorical approach to saying that
movies can only
simulate reality,
while cartoons, by virtue of
their being so totally unreal,
create their own level of
reality, so therefore, ergo,
it only follows that
all that which is real
is that which is
completely unreal.
Oh, I think I touched
on that in my thesis.
Oh, those are real.
Oh, that's brilliant!
Reality is direct
personal experience.
Oh, Mindy, I had no
idea that your husband
was so perceptive
about our medium.
Neither did I. Heh.
I want more, though.
I'm still hungry.
- Mm. Of course, you're still hungry.
- Unfulfilled.
- Mm, unfulfilled.
- You got it.
You are still hungry because
TV menus are limited these days,
which is why people
are hungry for knowledge
and the exchange of
ideas. Right, Mindy?
Right. Right.
And it's up to our programming
to be able to relay to the public
information that will
help feed that hunger.
Like a talk show!
- What a great idea.
- Hm-hm.
Yes, something really different.
I will call it Wake...
No, I will call it...
I will call it Stop
Sleeping, Boulder.
Finally, something good.
Oh, it is, isn't it?
Gosh, I love this business.
Well, now, all I need is the
perfect host to make it work.
Oh. Oh, look, pretty,
right under my nose.
Right again, Mork.
What we need is someone
who can exude intelligence,
warmth and grace.
- Mindy?
- Yes.
- Until we find somebody, you're it.
- Oh, thank you.
Sure. Well, I've just
created my first show. Ha-ha.
Gosh, now I know how
God and Norman Lear felt.
- Mearth?
- Mm?
You are an amazing little boy.
You got Mommy back
her job. At least temporarily.
- I'm very proud of you, sweetheart.
- Thank you, Mommy.
But can we go home right now?
Daddy's shorts are
really riding up on me.
I'm talking major snuggy here.
Come on.
Okay. Fire one.
Now, Mearth... I mean Mork,
are you sure this reverse
energy process will work?
Well, as they say in French:
- Maybe.
- Well, now,
let's just keep a
positive attitude.
I mean, it always
worked in Frankenstein.
Honey, I know this
hasn't been easy for you,
- but at least you got your show back.
- Yeah, that's true.
Actually, Pierson turned out
not to be such a bad kid after all.
He even gave Jake his job
back, after the bomb squad left.
I was glad to use your body.
I'm sorry I didn't wash it
before I gave it back to you.
Well, here goes.
Oh, great, Dad! Great.
You should work for
the Defense Department.
Oh, no, no, no. Look, you
just... You forgot to plug it in.
Oh.
Oh. Little pooter, I'm back.
- Oh.
Come here. Mm. Oh...
Well, everything is
back to normal again.
I'm certainly
happy for you kids.
I guess I'd better get...
Get off to rehearsal.
Major bummer.
This is worse. Now I'm bald.
Look out.
Here comes the face.
Mind, now come on, don't worry.
We'll switch them back, and after
that, maybe you and I can switch.
I've always wanted to be
whistled at by construction workers.
Oh!
Well, I guess that's all
the time we have for today.
I'd like to thank my
guests, Mary Snyder,
the author of the best-seller
I Bet You'll Ban Nuclear Energy
After Your Hair and Teeth Fall Out,
and also our local Rubik's
Cube expert, Tommy Nesbitt.
Thank you, Tommy, it's
been a wonderful week.
And as Wake Up, Boulder
completes its first week on the air,
I'd like to thank someone
who exhibited a great deal of faith
in this program and in my career,
our general manager
Miles Sternhagen.
And so this is Mindy
McConnell signing off for now,
wishing you blue
skies and green lights.
Don't just sit
there, shake hands.
Pretend you just
heard something funny.
And we're out.
Well, it was nice of you to say
all those things about Sternhagen.
I'm sure it'll be a
real comfort to him.
Why? What's wrong? Is he sick?
This show ought to be
called Wake Up, Mindy.
- Sternhagen's out, he's been axed.
- You're kidding!
No, we got us a new boss.
So you just polished
the wrong guy's apple.
He's such a jerk.
I did it! Turn on the
cameras! I'm finished!
Yeah? You're not the only one.
All aboard for the
McConnell Express,
now leaving for Anaheim,
Azusa and Cucamonga.
Oh, Pops, it's
perfect in every detail.
Look at that. Little
people, little horses.
All you're missing
is a robber baron
and exploited Chinese labor
going, "I got to get to San Francisco."
Daddy, Daddy, can I be the
engineer? Can I, can I, can I?
Mearth... Mearth, I think
you just better watch me
for a while so you
can get the hang of it.
You know, I gave these trains
to Mindy over 20 years ago,
but she wasn't interested in
any toy that didn't cry or wet
or have a best
friend named Midge.
You know something, Grandpops?
That was a very
moving, nostalgic speech.
Now, fork over the controls!
Oh, no! What a bummer!
Oh. Hey, Mearth, it's okay.
Oh, Mearth, Mearth, it's all right.
It's just a few loose
connections on the transformer.
It's old and it doesn't
work very well.
You understand, son,
like the Nielsen ratings.
Hi. You'll never
guess what happened.
- They fired Sternhagen.
- Hi, hon. Big kiss.
Hold it! Come on now,
fork over those controls!
Put all the coal in the bag and
start shoveling the money in the fire.
Stop that, Daddy! Stop it.
We're playing trains,
and I'm brand-new to this.
You mustn't be a robber
all the time and do that.
Come on, let me get used
to playing with the train.
Come on now.
Come on, son, you had your
chance and you blew it really big.
- Now, come on.
- Hey, is anybody listening to me?
I mean, I think my career is more
important than playing with trains.
Mind, the 5:15's coming down
the line. If no one throws the switch,
Zeke's not gonna get his
mail-order bride named Gilda.
Will you turn that thing
off just for a minute?
Uh, we're sorry, sweetheart.
You're absolutely right.
Tell us what
happened. Right, Mork?
Of course. I should
be the dutiful husband.
Besides, Zeke sent her
a phony picture anyway.
Mommy, I'd really like to
help you, but my hands are tied
because I have to
experience this railroad stuff.
I understand, sweetheart.
Anyway, they fired Sternhagen.
They just tossed him out
on his heel without a word.
Is there nothing sacred?
First The Ropers,
now Miles Sternhagen.
Mork. See, Sternhagen hired me.
I mean, he gave me
my shot at my own show.
Now I don't know
what's gonna happen.
Oh, honey, you're very good. What
you do on your own is very good.
You'll be just fine without him.
Mearth, don't you tie that
little family to the tracks!
Oh, come on!
Are you kidding, Grandpops?
They're only rubber.
Oh, come here, my little
breadwinner. Come on. You're upset.
You have to remember that
the darkest is always about 3 a.m.
Yeah, but, Mork, if you'd heard the
plug I gave Sternhagen on the air today.
I don't know, if the new boss
heard it, I could lose my job.
Oh, well, that
could be a problem.
If you're out of work, I mean,
who's gonna pay for the food,
the rent, the bills, and
those little smoke pellets
for the engine over there?
All aboard! Head them up!
- Go ahead.
Go ahead. Good.
The way I see it, if you
work hard and do a good job,
- they'll always keep you around.
- Oh, yeah, you're right.
I'm really not that worried.
How's my hair? Do I
have on too much lip gloss?
- No, you look fine.
- Okay.
Mindy, what are
you so uptight about?
So this guy Pierson is a hotshot
with a published
thesis on programming.
He's barely out of college.
And besides, I'm
safe in sportscasting.
There's always a stink
when they fire a minority.
Oh, I'm really
not that insecure.
I mean, after all, Boulder does
have to wake up in the morning, right?
But not with you.
Ahem. Here comes our new
boss. The one wearing the retainer.
That's Pierson?
He looks more like the general
manager of a McDonald's.
- I think he's kind of cute.
- Who cares?
You know how I've lasted so long?
I've always kept my self-respect.
Never kowtowed to
any of them. Excuse me.
How do you do there, Mr. Pierson?
Jake Loomis, cameraman.
- Pleasure.
- Yeah, nice suit there.
You know, I've been with
the station for 29 years now.
I've got all the inside
dirt on everybody.
Jake, in all the world there's
nothing sadder than an old fink.
- You're fired.
- Oh, fine, great.
Well, let me tell you.
You're gonna meet the same
people on your way down
as you did on your way up!
Sonny!
Poor Jake. I feel sorry for him.
- And I don't even like him.
- Yeah, me too.
I wonder if I can get
his parking space.
May I have your attention,
please? Thank you.
I am Daniel Pierson,
your new general manager.
Now, first of all, I would like
to put an end to the rumor
that people are
going to be fired.
That is not a
rumor. That is a fact.
Tonight, I am planning an
informal but mandatory get-together
here at the station, to
share some of my ideas
and get to know
your families better.
So I want to make
KTNS the place to be.
At least, for some of us.
Well, let's all try to
keep in touch, okay?
- Sure, Mindy.
- Yeah.
Mr. Pierson. Stan
Jackson, sports at 6 and 10.
- Pleasure.
- Ooh, hey. Wow.
What a grip you got there.
You know, you'd look
great in a Broncos jacket.
Oh, there's something I'd
like to remind you of, I'm black.
Hi, I'm Judi, your
weather person.
I'd like to welcome you
with a big KTNS warm front.
Heh. How sweet.
Heh. She's very sweet.
There's more where
that came from.
Mind. Mind, Mind, am I glad
I caught up with you, hon.
Hon, I've got an
important telegram
from a major news
network in New York.
- Mork, don't do this to me.
- Read it, hon? I have to sing it!
Five, six, seven, eight.
We're looking for a newscaster
One who speaks quite well
And who doesn't wear a
toupee Like Howard Cosell
And if you've been
through college
Please join our team
Signed Roone Arledge
Mindy, is your parking
space any closer than Jake's?
Mr. Pierson, that
was just a little joke.
I'm Mindy McConnell,
employee, for now. Ha-ha.
This is my husband Mork.
He was just kidding around.
He's a little nervous
about my job.
- Ha-ha-ha-ha.
- Oh, Mindy, please, don't apologize.
I want you to know that I
appreciate family concern.
Well, just this morning
my mom called me
to make sure that I had
dressed warm. Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Oh, ha-ha.
Well, Oedipus schmedipus,
Mindy really loves mama's boys.
Oh, Mindy, I just love
his sense of humor.
You be sure to bring
him to the party tonight.
I bet he can give me
a couple of pointers
- on where young people are at.
- Oh, I will.
- For sure.
- I will.
Don't you have to be
leaving now, honey?
- No.
- Think again.
You're right.
I should go home and wait
by the phone for those calls
that are gonna come
pouring in, babe.
Sweetheart, I'm gonna do for you
what Alan Hamel did
for Suzanne Sommers.
I think you already did.
Well, you tell a friend. - Heh.
Oh, no! No!
The train is stopped!
You bad engineer.
Daddy, come in here, please,
and make it work. Please.
Oh, what's wrong, son? Oh, where's
that happy face I know so well?
"Where's that happy
face I know so well?"
If you wanna see a
happy face, go see Annie.
If you wanna see
my face, see this.
- Oh, little bulldog boy, no!
- Aargh.
Come on now, I'll fix the trains
and I'll make them run better than
Mussolini ever did, now come on.
Just tighten this little doohickey
here, this little doohickey there.
Ha-ha! And voilà, it's fixed!
Mr. Goodwrench, move
over. All right, now...
You know something, Daddy?
You're truly a superior being.
Oh, shucks, son. Let's play
this one together. Ready?
- Daddy?
- Yes, son?
Why am I talking to
you and looking at me?
Holy shazbot!
Wait, don't panic.
There's an explanation for this. There's
always an explanation for everything.
The only thing I
can't explain is this.
Why is it that Bob Hope
is still doing commercials?
Everything was fine until...
Don't do that.
- Hey, Mork, are you there?
- I'll go.
Can you open the
door? My hands are full.
It's your mother.
Now, try to relax.
Relax and pretend nothing
happened, you understand?
It'll put her uptight,
so just relax and just...
- No, no. No, no, no!
- Cut, cut! No! Stop it!
What's going on here?
Little pooter. Mind, Mind,
Mind. Big kiss, big kiss.
- What did you say, Mearth?
- I didn't say anything, Mommy.
Oh, you stoolie.
Crossed minds.
I got a little taller, huh?
Right? Did I do good?
Why me?
You transferred minds
through a train set?
This is like a bad horror movie,
only I'm married to the mad scientist.
Mind, wrong body. I'm over here.
Oh, right.
- Um, well, how long is this gonna last?
- I don't know.
I don't know. Maybe 24 hours,
150 years. What do I know?
We gotta get to that party where
they have little crackers. Let's go.
- Mearth, look...
- Yes, Mommy.
Um...
Mearth, go upstairs to your bedroom
while your father and I have a little talk.
Oh. So that's the way it is.
He's in and I'm out.
You've asked for it once
again, Butchie returns.
I'll tell you something,
son, once and for all.
Don't do that. Your
face will freeze.
No! No. Who cares?
Who cares anyway?
It's not my body.
Ooh, you're a joke!
I'm hip.
- Okay, okay, Mind.
- Mork, sit down.
I'm ready, ready, kay-o.
Kay-o, kay-o. Going to the party.
It's late, and we
ought to get to the party
- as soon as we can, that's all.
- Go to the party?
Mork, I can't take you
to the party with that face.
Little pooter. Mind, Mind, Mind.
About this face, I wanna
make something clear,
just as clear as
your complexion.
Okay? Chances are the boss is
gonna come over to look at Mork, right?
Then take my body, please.
My job is hanging
by a thread as it is.
I can't take Mearth to
the party. He's just a child.
That's true, but I'll
tell you something.
He's half a superior
being, remember that?
He'll be almost as good
as I would have been.
That's what I'm afraid of.
Call this a party? Where's
the cake and the little party hats
and the pushy father
with the camera going,
"Stay by the bull,
stay by the bull"? No!
Mork... Mearth. Mearth,
remember, my job is at stake.
Now remember our agreement.
If you're a good boy and
you don't embarrass Mommy,
then I'll give you that
note to get out of gym.
- I'll try and act like an adult, Mommy.
- Okay. Good boy.
I think Mommy should
do all the talking, so shh.
Jake. Well, I'm glad
to see you're back.
Stuffed mushroom, Mindy?
Boy, are you older than dirt.
Give me a break. Ain't I
had enough for one day?
Uh, no, thank you, but I'm
glad to see you're working again.
Yeah, well, this
is just temporary.
I'm gonna ask Pierson
for my job back tonight.
If he says no,
I'm gonna kill him.
Good evening, everyone!
Hey, thanks for coming.
And now, I would like to
introduce you to the future of KTNS.
Ju Ju.
Now, this is our
morning schedule.
You will notice that the only
major change is the removal
of Wake Up, Boulder
and Kartoon Karnival
in place of our morning movie.
So, Mindy, Skipper
Bill, you're out.
Don't worry, Mindy, he's dead.
Now, I am planning a powerhouse
opening for the new season.
To kick off the Monday movie,
you can look forward
to Ben Gazzara week.
So let's all pull together
and make KTNS
the biggest little
independent station in Boulder.
Mr. Pierson, I think
you've made a mistake.
And I'm not just saying this
because I am the host of the show,
but I really believe
that Wake Up, Boulder
is an important, vital program
and really performs a
service to this community.
Look, Mindy, it's
essential that you know
that what I've done has
nothing to do with you personally.
- It is strict economics.
- Well...
- You know, I like the Road Runner.
- Excuse me?
- Not now, not now.
- No, no, Mindy, let him talk.
I like to hear what the
general public has to say.
Oh, maybe not. Heh.
Well, I like the way the
Road Runner goes beep-beep.
And then I go beep-beep.
Are you saying that a
grown man like yourself
watches cartoons every morning?
Yes, I've seen Popeye 14 times.
And if you run it
backwards, it has an ending.
But, you know...
basically, what I
really like is, like,
when the coyote paints a
tunnel on the side of a mountain
and then the Road Runner just
goes, vroom, right through the tunnel
and then when the coyote
tries to go through, vroom, boom,
he becomes two-dimensional.
I think... I think what
Mork is trying to say
is that he appreciates
an altered sense of reality.
You know, something that contrasts
the drabness of everyday life.
I knew that.
However, Mindy, I want you
to know that my morning movie
will accomplish
the very same thing.
Bummer, this is not real.
What does he mean by that?
You don't know?
Well, heh, of course I know.
It's just a simple, um,
metaphorical approach to saying that
movies can only
simulate reality,
while cartoons, by virtue of
their being so totally unreal,
create their own level of
reality, so therefore, ergo,
it only follows that
all that which is real
is that which is
completely unreal.
Oh, I think I touched
on that in my thesis.
Oh, those are real.
Oh, that's brilliant!
Reality is direct
personal experience.
Oh, Mindy, I had no
idea that your husband
was so perceptive
about our medium.
Neither did I. Heh.
I want more, though.
I'm still hungry.
- Mm. Of course, you're still hungry.
- Unfulfilled.
- Mm, unfulfilled.
- You got it.
You are still hungry because
TV menus are limited these days,
which is why people
are hungry for knowledge
and the exchange of
ideas. Right, Mindy?
Right. Right.
And it's up to our programming
to be able to relay to the public
information that will
help feed that hunger.
Like a talk show!
- What a great idea.
- Hm-hm.
Yes, something really different.
I will call it Wake...
No, I will call it...
I will call it Stop
Sleeping, Boulder.
Finally, something good.
Oh, it is, isn't it?
Gosh, I love this business.
Well, now, all I need is the
perfect host to make it work.
Oh. Oh, look, pretty,
right under my nose.
Right again, Mork.
What we need is someone
who can exude intelligence,
warmth and grace.
- Mindy?
- Yes.
- Until we find somebody, you're it.
- Oh, thank you.
Sure. Well, I've just
created my first show. Ha-ha.
Gosh, now I know how
God and Norman Lear felt.
- Mearth?
- Mm?
You are an amazing little boy.
You got Mommy back
her job. At least temporarily.
- I'm very proud of you, sweetheart.
- Thank you, Mommy.
But can we go home right now?
Daddy's shorts are
really riding up on me.
I'm talking major snuggy here.
Come on.
Okay. Fire one.
Now, Mearth... I mean Mork,
are you sure this reverse
energy process will work?
Well, as they say in French:
- Maybe.
- Well, now,
let's just keep a
positive attitude.
I mean, it always
worked in Frankenstein.
Honey, I know this
hasn't been easy for you,
- but at least you got your show back.
- Yeah, that's true.
Actually, Pierson turned out
not to be such a bad kid after all.
He even gave Jake his job
back, after the bomb squad left.
I was glad to use your body.
I'm sorry I didn't wash it
before I gave it back to you.
Well, here goes.
Oh, great, Dad! Great.
You should work for
the Defense Department.
Oh, no, no, no. Look, you
just... You forgot to plug it in.
Oh.
Oh. Little pooter, I'm back.
- Oh.
Come here. Mm. Oh...
Well, everything is
back to normal again.
I'm certainly
happy for you kids.
I guess I'd better get...
Get off to rehearsal.
Major bummer.
This is worse. Now I'm bald.
Look out.
Here comes the face.
Mind, now come on, don't worry.
We'll switch them back, and after
that, maybe you and I can switch.
I've always wanted to be
whistled at by construction workers.
Oh!