More Tales of the City (1998): Season 1, Episode 3 - Episode #1.3 - full transcript

[man] All right, folks.

Come on, move on,
there's nothin' to see here.

Folks, please, clear out.

[siren blares]

Where are we having the babies?

- Saint Sebastian's.
- Mm.

- And thanks for the "we".
- [chuckles]

You can't do it alone, can you?

I thought I might have to.

Uh- oh.

How did it happen?



His car apparently skidded
in the Broadway Tunnel.

There was a... a fire.

[sobs] Oh, God!

I'm supposed to give you this.

It's your husband's personal effects.

[sighs]

He really loved that Gucci belt.

- Oh, no!
- What?

I gotta call my mother.
She'll be beside herself.

[New Age music playing]

Hm.

- Birdsong?
- Yes, ma'am.

How long have you worked at Pinus?

About two years now.



- Oh, you like it here, then?
- Yes, ma'am.

All these old ladies...

you, um... like...

- waiting on them?
- [chuckles]

I don't think of them as old.

[both laugh]

Oh, you're a diplomat, young man.

Ah, what's your real name?

We're not allowed to say.

- [chuckles] You're not, huh?
- No, ma'am. [laughs]

Are you going to...

rub my back?

If you like.

I like.

- Isn't it terrible?
- [woman] Awful.

The media is eating it up. [sighs]

I-- I am dreading
the six o'clock news tonight.

- Oh, one thing.
- Uh- huh?

I spoke with DeDe Day this morning.

She's holding up fine,
all things considered.

What with the babies due
and her mother missing.

Mrs. Halcyon is missing?

Well, they can't locate her.

She said she was going to the house
in Napa, but she never showed up.

I... I suspect, and this is
just my theory, mind you, that...

she's touring the missions around there.

She's deeply religious, you know.

Have they made any arrangements
about the funeral?

Well... that's the sad part.

Beauchamp had a clause in his will
for cremation, but...

considering the nature of his... accident,

the family feels
it would be in poor taste.

I see.

Tell me, Mildred...

Should I come in today?

No, no, no. We've shut down, actually.

I'm just taking calls
and handling the press.

Oh, I know, dear. You must be wondering
about your job at a point like this.

But I'm sure there will be a place for you
once the dust settles.

Meanwhile, why don't you just take
a little time off?

- Thank you, Mildred.
- Oh, not at all, dear.

I'm sure that's the way
Beauchamp would've wanted it.

Bye- bye, now.

Mm.

[sighs]

I dreamed about a friend last night.

- Michael?
- No.

The, uh... man with the transplant.

- At the flower market?
- [groans]

All right. Okay.

Okay. I, uh won't bring it up.

It was only a dream.

You know, it could be a memory.
You should talk about it.

I don't wanna be your favorite hobby.

- Is that what you think?
- [chuckles]

No.

Not at all. I-- I just don't...

- Well?
- I... I'm afraid...

Mary Ann.

I don't even know
who I was six months ago.

I'm not even sure if you'd like him.

You know what?
I do know who I was six months ago,

and I'm positive you wouldn't like her.

- Come on!
- No, I...

- [both laugh]
- I mean it.

She was... out of it.

And I had to get away from myself
as fast as I could.

It's been that way my whole life.

You know, things just keep changing and...

it happens so fast, I can't even remember
all the "me"s I've been.

Scares me to death.

Why?

Because I don't have the slightest idea
who I'm gonna finally end up being.

I could help you with that.

[sighs]

[chuckles]

[laughs]

So...

tell me about your dream?

Well...

[low chanting]

Um...

there was this walkway...

um, with a metal railing.

I was really high up...

and there were people with me,
people I knew.

Um, I... I don't know
what they looked like, I just...

knew that I knew them.

And they were chanting...

something, I don't remember.

And then, suddenly, uh...
there was this...

rose.

And the transplant man leaned over to me
and said, um...

"Go ahead, Burke. It's organic."

And, uh... I started to run.

And?

That's it.

I woke up.

[tuts] Oh... Maybe we're making too much
about this guy with the transplant.

I mean, we've both been talking about him,
and maybe you, like...

superimposed him
on your existing memories.

Except for one thing.

He didn't have a transplant.

He was bald as an egg.

Go ahead, Burke.

It's organic.

[low chanting]

[women sighing and laughing]

[gasping and sighing]

[loud gasping]

A long time!

Oh, yes!

- Jane.
- Oh, my!

Let it out!

They're hot.

Jane!

There, I can feel it. Hot, hot, hot.

- Yes!
- Oh, yes!

[all gasping and sighing]

- Shh.
- [silence falls]

Ladies...

we all know why we're here tonight.

So let's get on with it.

May I present to you...

the newest recipient
of the mysteries of Pinus...

Frannie Halcyon.

[ululating]

[ululating continues]

She got Bluegrass!

[gasps]

- Oh, she has Bluegrass!
- Lucky, she...

[all gasping and sighing]

Bluegrass is Helena's.

[exclaiming and sighing continues]

I had Bluegrass once!

[laughter and sighing continues]

- Thelma?
- What, sweetie?

If I’m completely paralyzed,
how come it hurts?

- Where?
- In my legs.

And my thighs, and my arms a little bit.

That's freaky.

I see my leg lying down there,

but it feels exactly like somebody’s
bendin' it up toward the ceiling.

Dr. Beery says there’s always some
sensory disturbance with Guillain- Barré.

- You mean I'm not wacko or...
- [chuckles]

I'd love to be a little wacko.

[chuckles]

No way! You're normal.

- Not in Florida, I ain't.
- Who is?

[telephone rings]

- Hello?
- [Betty] Who's this?

This is Jon Fielding,
I'm a friend of Michael's.

Isn't this Mona Ramsey's apartment?

She's staying downstairs right now.
Would you like her number?

[telephone rings]

- Yeah?
- Mona?

- Hello, Betty.
- I thought you were dead.

I sent you a postcard from Nevada.

Oh. I was worried sick.

What were you doing?

Just... stuff.

How's the weather in Minneapolis?

Never mind that. I have to talk to you.

- Go ahead.
- I mean in person.

There are... things you don't know.

Don't be so sure.

You don't understand, Mona.
I want you out of that house!

Forget it, I'm not leaving.

Think again, Mona.

You could be in serious danger.

- What?
- You heard me.

What kind of danger?
What are you talking about?

I can't discuss it on the phone.
I'm coming to see you.

I can stay at a friend's apartment.
I've already worked that out.

[sighs] You can give me two hours
of your time, Mona!

- [sighs]
- You owe me that.

[tuts]

I guess I do.

It was the most piss- elegant funeral
I've ever seen. [chuckles]

They carried this...

big processional cross up the aisle
with a big red rose in the middle.

- Oh, no!
- You got it.

Burke took one look at that rose

and puked all over
the pew in front of him. [chuckles]

[laughing] Jesus!

Oh, I thought it was highly appropriate.

Beauchamp Day was an asshole.

- [sniffs]
- Good enough for a roll in the hay.

That was a brief lapse.

Hey...

I had a great idea today.

We...

are going to repaint your apartment.

Swell! I'll be the stepladder.

I brought you some paint samples
from Hoot Judkins. I like this, this...

putty color here, I think that's nice.

Faggot fawn.

Cut it out.

Well, it is the color of the year.

Three years ago it was chocolate brown,
then forest green.

It was handy, though.

If you woke up in a strange apartment,
at least you knew what year it was.

Look, Dr Kildare, painting my apartment
is definitely above and beyond--

Bullshit.

If I'm gonna live there,
we have to gussy the place up a little.

Live there?

[gasps]

Isn't-- Isn't that a little premature?

Haven’t you always wanted
to shack up with a doctor?

Jon, I'm so flattered--

I'm not flattering you, turkey.

I'm asking you to marry me.

[sighs]

Jon, you can't spend your life
hauling me to the toilet.

Says who?

This isn’t Magnificent Obsession.

Things don't work like that.

You’re gonna take the mystery

- out of our unnatural relationship.
- [laughs]

I'll risk it.

Hm.

[woman on PA] Dr. Rausch, report
to the nurses' station in obstetrics.

Dr. Rausch, report
to the nurses' station in obstetrics.

Paging Dr. Allbright.

Dr. Sakowitz, report to cardiology.

Dr. Sakowitz.

Aah.

May I help you?

Did you talk to him?

- Did you ask him about me?
- Oh--

I was afraid to.

Why?

- Because I think he recognized me.
- Well, what if he did?

Look, I don't mind approaching him
if you're too squeamish.

This man could hold the key to it all.
Maybe I worked for him or something.

You were never on the payroll
at St Sebastian's

and you were never a patient there.

I asked Jon to check.

You have been a little sleuth,
haven't you?

I want to help.

If you really believe that...

[low chanting]

[gasps]

Burke, what is it?

Uh...

I just remembered.

[laughs] Uh...

They were, uh...

They were chanting a poem.

Who were?

The people in my dream.

When I was up on that damn...

walkway thing.

Over and over again, but sort of, um...

[chanting]
Upon the mountain of the flesh...

[Burke] ...whispering.

Like somebody knew I could hear.

[chanting] High upon the Sacred Rock...

I think we should talk
to the transplant man.

Not yet, please!

What if something horrible
caused your amnesia?

What if he was a part of it?

Psst.

Turkey!

Michael?

No, Marie Antoinette.

[panting]

What's the matter?

Look!

At what?

Down there, dummy.

My hand.

[laughing]

Well, don't just sit there! 

Clap your hands if you believe in fairies!

[laughing]

Mm.

Feels like spring, doesn't it?

- Shall we make it official?
- I guess. Sure, whatever.

Is it something you'd like to talk about?

I'm fine, really.

[Mona sighs]

[humming]

[Anna] Brian.

- Oh. Am I in your way?
- Oh, no.

I just wondered.

Have you noticed anything
a little off about Mona?

[chuckles] How much time have you got?

[laughs]

I meant recently.

Hm. She, uh... isn't herself, and...

I thought maybe she said something.

Not to me. She thinks I'm a hopeless pig.

[chuckles] Maybe she wouldn't,
if you invited her to dinner.

What?

She needs a friend, Brian.

It would do you both some good.

The friendship of women, huh?

I'm telling you, it's not half bad.

[humming]

[Brian] Ahem.

[Brian] Well, why not, then?
Because I'm a waiter?

- Because I'm straight?
- Brian, look. This is nice, but--

Mona, you don't even know me.

- I was at Wounded Knee!
- Look, I don't care if you--

- You were?
- Yeah.

- I don't believe you.
- [sighs]

- I cooked a meatloaf.
- At Wounded Knee?

Yesterday, I cooked a goddamn meatloaf
for the first time in my life

and now you won't even eat it with me.

- You didn't tell me that.
- Well, I'm telling you now.

Come to dinner, Mona. Tonight.

Okay.

[sighs]

Why didn't you tell me you're vegetarian?

You said you'd already cooked it.

Besides, I'm-- I'm not as strict
as I used to be.

Ground beef isn't nearly as personal
as a hunk of steak.

You don't know which part of the cow
it came from.

[laughs]

["Suzanne" by Leonard Cohen playing]

Right there. Mm- hm.

- When was this?
- Law school.

Which one is you?

I'm the dip with the David Harris glasses.

- You wear glasses?
- No, not anymore.

- Too vain. Contacts.
- Mm.

♪ She's half- crazy ♪

♪ But that's why you wanna be there ♪

That's me in Chicago in 1968.

Going limp for the police.

Where else did you go limp?

- Selma. Washington.
- ♪ And just when you mean to tell her ♪

- ♪ That you have no love to give her ♪
- Are you making fun of me?

I went limp in Minneapolis.

No shit!

- The War?
- Yeah.

Have you read Jerry Rubin's new book?
Growing (Up) at 37?

- No, was it good?
- Uh...

For a laugh, maybe. I'll lend it to you.

He says he became a radical
because he was uptight

about the size of his dick.

- Ah, come on!
- I kid you not, it's in there.

- [chuckles]
- We fought a revolution

because Jerry Rubin has a teeny weeny.

- [laughs]
- Bummer, huh?

Yeah.

Tippety- tum! Tippety- tum!

Tippety- tum!

Tippety- tum! [chuckles]

Tippety- tum!

Tippety- tum!

[both laughing]

- Mm!
- Excited?

Mm. [chuckles]

[gasps] You haven't told me
about the names yet.

Names.

- For the babies!
- Oh!

Have you picked 'em yet?

Hm. Edgar, I guess.

If one of them is a boy, after my father.

And, if one of them is a girl,
I'll name her Anna.

That's pretty. Any particular reason?

Daddy asked me to. Right before he died.

- Hm.
- Family name, huh?

[chuckles]

He just said he liked it.

I don't know why.

Nobody knew what was on his mind.

He didn't even tell us he was dying.
Not right up until the very end.

I guess I'll always be sorry
I didn't get to share that.

Ohh...

[sobbing]
He was so busy trying to protect us...

that he didn't let us see
what he really was!

[weeping]

[whispers] Oh, sweetie...

You carry a lot of baggage, don't you?

[laughs] Huh.

Aww.

Wouldn't it be nice
to leave some of it behind?

[sighs]

♪ Peace will come ♪

♪ Let it begin with me ♪

[sighs]

So, uh... what's the matter?

♪ Peace will come ♪

- My mother's coming to town.
- ♪ Let it begin with me ♪

Does Mrs. Madrigal know?

I wanna handle it myself.

She said some pretty spooky stuff
on the phone.

Does she know about Mrs. Madrigal?

I don't know.

But if she does know,
she must assume that I know,

so what could she possibly
have to tell me?

[sighs] I don't need any more surprises.

[chuckles]

♪ Let it begin with me, with me ♪

I think you should tell Mrs. Madrigal.

You're right.

I should go.

Mm. [chuckles]

Thanks for being so nice.

No problem.

[Mona] Sweet dreams!

Just say it one more time.

[groans] For God's sake,

- get some sleep, will you?
- Just five minutes!

Okay?

Just... Go on.

Uh...

"High upon the Sacred Rock

The Rose Incarnate shines,

Upon the Mountain of the Flood

At the Meeting of the Lines."

I got it. I got it!

What's-- What's the name of the mountain
in the Bible?

- Uh... Calvary.
- No, no.

It's the one--
the one Noah's Ark landed on.

The Mountain of the Flood. Get it?

Ararat.

I wonder. Yeah...

What the hell are you doing?

- Just checking the phone book.
- Oh!

Come to bed! God damn it!

It's just gonna take a few seconds.

Arante...

Araquistáin... Ar...

Ararat!

Ararat Armenian Restaurant,
1000 Clement Street!

So?

[laughs] So...

it might be a connection!

Don't you wanna figure this out?

All right, Angie Dickinson.
What’s Rose Incarnate, then?

Huh?

A belly dancer at the restaurant?

- It might be, smart- ass.
- [chuckles]

And the Meeting of the Lines?

I don't like your attitude.

Well, then, you don’t wanna
hear my theory, I guess.

- You've got one?
- Yep.

Let's hear it!

Well?

I think it could be
some kind of cult. 

Cult?

You think that's what it was?

- Well, I don't know.
- Yes, you do. You just said you thought--

No, I don't think anything.
I'm guessing about my life,

- which is not the easiest thing to do.
- I know.

I'm sorry.

- I didn't mean to growl.
- No, I...

- I didn't mean to yell at you either.
- Let's get some sleep.

Okay?

Okay.

- Burke.
- Yeah?

In the dream...

do you remember if you...

- Doesn't matter.
- What?

Do you remember if you were chanting too?

No.

No, you weren't
or no, you don't remember?

No, I don't remember.

[sighs]

[birdsong]

[Mona] It was such a transformation.

Not so much as an innuendo
all night long.

And get this. He cooked a meatloaf.

The boy is full of surprises.

- And I've got one for you, I'm afraid.
- What?

My mother's coming to town.

That's right.

But why?

She says there are things
I don't understand,

that I might be in danger.

In danger? Hm!

How?

I don't know. I was hoping
you'd tell me. Is there...

anything I should know about,
besides your change an' all?

Can't imagine.

- Did you tell her about me?
- Of course not.

- But you think she knows?
- [sighs] Maybe.

How could she?

I don't know.

I don't know squat.
God, the moon is in caca.

[sighs]

[Michael] Toes...

fingers...

and...

[purrs]

- Pssh!
- [screeches]

[laughing] Oh!

- Oh, Mouse!
- [laughing]

Oh, Mouse!

- [chuckles]
- [sighs]

- You're getting all shaggy.
- How's old Mystery Meat?

He thinks...

He thinks it might be a cult.

[gasps]

Maybe they had him deprogrammed,
like a Moonie.

Oh, Mouse.

My parents would love to deprogram me.

I wonder how that works.

Lock you in a padded cell
and zap your nuts

every time you respond
to a Bette Davis movie?

- Have you heard from them?
- Oh, I guess you could call it that.

My mother wrote
to say that it's killin' my father

and my father wrote
to say that it's killin' my mother.

They're terribly worried
about each other. [chuckles]

- [distant siren wails]
- [sighs]

Do it again.

- Pssh!
- [both giggling]

[beeps horn]

[sighs]

[sighs]

It's just typical.
One minute I have a friend,

next minute,
he turns out to be a total fucking weirdo.

Come now, dear.

I can't believe this doesn't bother you.

It was midnight, Mona.
He thought he was alone.

You don't get it, do you?

He was watching someone
across the way.

- You mean...
- Yes!

He was naked
and he had binoculars.

Really?

Yes, really.

Hm.

Poor dear. No wonder he needs a friend.

He has a friend, man's best friend.

He was waving it over the rooftops.

[sighs]

I'm so sick of men and their dicks.

Don't look at me when you say that. Mm- mm.

[both laugh]

[Burke] ♪ I remember you ♪

♪ You're the one who said
"I love you, too" ♪

♪ Yes, I do ♪

♪ Didn't you know? ♪

♪ I remember too ♪

- ♪ A distant bell ♪
- Ararat restaurant?

♪ And stars that fell ♪

This is Rachel
from District Social Security calling.

Can you tell me, have you employed

a Mr. Burke Andrew
over the last three years?

♪ Ask me to recall ♪

- ♪ The thrill of them all ♪
- Andrew.

- A, N, D...
- ♪ Then I will tell them ♪

♪ I remember you ♪

No?

Are you-- Are you quite sure of that?

Thank you.

[chuckles]

I don't think I've ever
heard you sing before.

You have a gorgeous voice.

Thank you.

Have you ever sung, uh...
like, professionally?

Only in church.

- Hm.
- Back in Nantucket.

The Good Shepherd choir.

[chuckles]

What are you up to?

Nothing.

- It's...
- [both laugh]

- Can't I just be curious about you?
- That’s what my mother said

- on the phone last night.
- She called you?

Uh...

They're freaked, aren't they?

What do you expect?

They hate this town.

Their only child ended up under a bush
in Golden Gate Park with amnesia.

- Now he's back chasing ghosts.
- Do you remember that?

- What?
- Waking up under the bush.

Not really.

How do you know if it really happened?

My parents told me.

Well, how do you know
that they're telling the truth?

What?

- What the hell?
- They could've deprogrammed you.

I may be loony, lady,
but I'm not dumb.

I'm sorry!

I'm no baby!

I was a reporter, Mary Ann.

I was in the AP.

Excuse me.

My name is Mary Ann Singleton.

They told me out front
you might be able to help me.

Oh, shit!

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. If--
If it's not a good time,

- I can come back later--
- Not you.

How many goddamn words can you write
about Patty Hearst, anyway?

- I never tried.
- Well, don't.

Sit down.

The bureau chief said you used to work
with a guy named Burke Andrew.

Two...

Uh, no.

Three years ago.

For four or five months at most.
He couldn't hack it.

- They fired him?
- No, he quit. Got bored.

Wanted to chase his own stories.

Something happen to him?

Burke has amnesia.

He doesn't remember anything
after he left here.

I was hoping maybe you might be able to--

He never talked about personal stuff.

Did he ever write stories about cults?

[chuckles] No, the freak beat's mine.

Uh... So, when, uh...
did this amnesia zap him?

Four months ago.
The police found him in Golden Gate Park.

He was...

passed out or... something.

Uh... The last time...

I met him...

No, it'd have been earlier than that.

No...

Let's see.

Uh...

Aah...

Yeah.

About five months ago.

I ran into him one night
at Lefty O'Doul's.

He said I could eat my heart out

because he was onto
something really bizarre.

- Let's see. Uh...
- So he was still reporting?

Ehh... A freelancer.

There’s a difference.
They always talk crazy.

Where is...

Oh, there it is.

Transubstantiation.

I'm afraid I don't--

Neither did I.

I, uh... I asked him did he have
any substantiation for his story.

And he said, "Transubstantiation
would be more like it."

I asked him,
"What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

And he told me to look it up.

What does it mean? [chuckles]

Look it up yourself, sweetheart.

[chuckles]

[telephone rings]

[groans]

- Hello?
- D'Or.

Mm! Yes, hun.

Are you feeling paternal?

Uh...

I think my water just broke.

Mother's here but I'd rather go with you.

[panting]

[panting]

Okay?

Yeah, ready to go.

Okay.

I'm so frightened, D'Or.

I feel like I'm gonna be punished
for something.

For what?

The babies' father is Chinese.

Big deal.

[sighs] That's easy for you to say.

Fine, I'll say it again. Big fuckin' deal!

Oh...

Mama doesn't know?

Thought so.

That's what you've been bawling about,
isn't it?

[sighs]

In part, I guess.

What's the other part?

Oh, not one of my friends has called.

- Your luck's changing, then.
- Why?

Because.

- I am the first of your new friends.
- Oh.

And we are not that easy to get rid of.

Except when you're droppin' babies.
Then we get squeamish as hell. [laughs]

I'll be here, though.
Right outside the door.

Hm.

Want me to tell your mother
about the babies?

No.

[sighs]

I'll tell her.

Oh...

I love you, D'Or.

Ditto, kiddo.

[chuckles]

[cutlery clinking]

[sighs]

What are you doing?

Checking out the view.

That's what every San Franciscan does
when they visit someone else's apartment.

[sighs]

It's very nice.

Whose place is this, anyway?

Susan Patterson's. You don't know her.
She's, uh, in Switzerland for the spring.

[liquid pouring]

Mm.

Looks like you've been here
since last spring.

This or bourbon?

Neither, thanks.

I don't have any Perrier.

That’s fine. I took a quaalude
a little while ago.

Oh, for God's sake!

Would you rather
I took one of your Valiums?

[sighs]

Mona, let's not argue.

We haven’t seen each other
in a long time, darling.

Least we can do is just--

Why are you here?

[Betty sighs]

You know about your father, don't you?

I know that he left you. That’s old news.

Let's not play games, Mona.

I know he's your landlord

and I know about the sex change.

And I know that you know all about it.

I repeat, why are you here?

Because I have a right to be here!

He deserted me, Mona!

He left me with a child to support
while I was still a teenager.

Now he thinks he can waltz right back in

and lay claim to the child that he never--

I am not a child
and nobody’s laid claim to me.

I didn’t even know that she was my father
until two weeks ago.

Did he tell you-- Oh.

Pardon me.

Did she, by any chance, tell you

what she did with the private detective
I hired?

The what?

Last summer,

you sent me that photograph
of your so- called landlady.

I saw the similarities immediately,

so I hired a private detective

to help me find out if it was true.

- He moved into your house, Mona.
- [sighs]

28 Barbary Lane.

Mr. Williams. The guy in the roof?

We stayed in touch by telephone.
He called me frequently.

He said he thought
that Andy had become Anna Madrigal.

Then he just disappeared.

Did you know him, Mona?

Not at all. He was...

weird.

I know. He was...

- best I could round up on short notice.
- Hm.

The point is...

what happened to him?

We wondered that, too.

"We?"

All of us, including Mrs. Madrigal.
She even called the police about it.

I want to see her, Mona.

- Will you arrange it?
- [sighs]

You're gonna do it anyway.

You're right.

I will.

[woman on PA] Paging Dr. Balmer.
Paging Dr. Balmer.

Shh.

[D'Orothea chuckles]

Smile!

Come on! Oh! [laughs]

All right.

Dr. Rausch, report to...

Yeah!

- Hello!
- [cooing]

Hello, sweetie.

Hello, darling.

- [woman] Sorry?
- [woman 2] Can you hear me?

- Mother, I saw him.
- [baby crying]

He was wonderful.

Doctor, these could be patients who...

- We need to get...
- I know. I need her to do...

[telephone ringing]

I'm ready.

[cable car bell ringing]

[Michael] What happened
to our Sherpa guide, anyway?

[Jon] He died of exposure
at 8,000 feet.

Well, shit! You just can’t get
good Sherpas anymore.

[chuckles]
Don't make me laugh, I'll drop you.

- Oops!
- [laughing]

Just don’t look down.
Pretend you’re Karen Black in Airport.

"I can't fly this plane!"

[Michael] This is just great.

- What?
- The room.

You said you were going to paint it.
I never expected this.

- What's it called?
- Wallpaper?

The name of the wallpaper, smart- ass.

I don't know. Navajo, I think.

Reminds me of camp when I was a kid.

When we used to play
Cowboys and Indians. [chuckles]

Well, don't get any ideas.
My loincloth is at the cleaners.

[laughs]

I love this.

What?

Doin' nothin' with you in bed.

Thanks. I think.

I mean it.

I've waited a long time to find somebody
to do nothin' with in bed.

[sighs]

- Well, how about it?
- What?

Can I move my stuff in?

All those blazers and ties.

[sighs]

- You don't want me to, do you?
- No.

I do.

I just don't want this
to be a doctor- patient thing.

- Is that what you think?
- Well, you are a doctor.

It would only be natural for you
to wanna nurse me back to health.

I hate wiping your butt.

You do?

Yes.

With all my heart.

[sighs Oh, you don't know
how much that means to me.

[laughs]

Mm.

- [baby crying]
- [sighs]

Aren't they beautiful?

[cooing]

[Jon] Isn't that magnificent?

[Michael chuckles]

Imagine a club with that kind of dough.

Well, the club didn't build it,
the Floods did.

The Floods?

Old aristocratic family.

Big bucks in the old days.

You don't say.

Boy, I could learn a lot from you.

You don't think...

Pass me the phone.

Pass me the phone!

[sighs]

- Oh! This could be it!
- What's going on?

Really...

could...

be.

[sighs]

Hey, Mary Ann.

Ajax Detective Service here.

You thought you’d screw me up
with that damn poem, didn't you?

[chuckles]

I think so. Can you come down?

Hello?

[DeDe] She told me
I should've had an abortion.

I thought she was Catholic.

She is.

She’s also from Hillsborough
and a member of the Francisca Club.

Those things have dogmas all their own.

One of their best- known tenets is
you don’t have a baby with slant eyes.

Don't even think about it.

- I have to live with it.
- Do you?

- I can't run away.
- Maybe not.

But you can run towards something.

- Like what?
- A new life.

Where you don't have to deal with the kind
of people you've been dealing with.

- I think it's a little late for me.
- [scoffs] Wrong, hon.

It wasn't late for me.

I may be from the wrong part of Oakland,

but we are not that far apart, you know.

I was worshiping false idols
before I was out of a training bra.

I was worse than you.

With me, it was a conscious choice.
With you, it’s your family tradition.

Never underestimate the power of that.

Or the power of the almighty dollar.

Listen, um... [chuckles]

I wanted money so bad...

I dyed my skin black to get it.

What?

DeDe...

Remember that night
we went to the fashion show?

When you said it was tough
living at the end of the rainbow?

Sure.

Well...

Maybe San Francisco
isn't the end of the rainbow.

D'Or.

Do you mean leave?

I think Burke's dream home
is about the PU club.

- The what?
- The Pacific Union club.

It was built by a man named Flood,

which makes Nob Hill
the Mountain of the Flood!

So this could be a locker key, then.

Sure.

Oh, but...

But what about the rest of it?
What about the Meeting of the Lines?

Well, the cable cars
meet at California and Powell.

- That's not a block away.
- That's brilliant.

That must be it!

Uh, no--

But then what's all this got to do
with transubstantiation?

- Come again, ma'am?
- Do you have a dictionary?

Eh, there on the shelf,
next to The Persian Boy.

Yesterday, I went down
to the AP office.

I met a guy
who ran into Burke about five months ago.

And Burke told him...

that he was working on a story about...

Read that.

"Transubstantiation.
In the Mass of the Roman Catholic Church,

the conversion of bread and wine
into the body and blood of Christ."

Is Burke Catholic?

- Episcopalian.
- Close enough.

- Is it?
- Well, sure.

Some Episcopalians
are more Catholic than Catholics.

They believe that the... [sighs]

You know, the round bread thingy.

The Communion wafer.

- [Mary Ann laughs]
- Yeah.

They believe the wafer turns into flesh
the minute it hits their mouth.

That's gross.

- Well, it's just symbolism.
- No, it's not. Uh...

They actually believe it converts.

That's what transubstantiation means.

It makes you that much holier

if you think you're eating flesh
and drinking blood.

How do you know all this?

I used to date an Episcopal seminarian.

[both] Oh!

Well!

He was really into it.

He practically shaved in holy water.

And on Christmas Eve,
he dragged me off to Mass at--

- Jesus Christ!
- [Mary Ann] What is it?

Grace Cathedral!
It's gotta be Grace Cathedral!

[Mary Ann] Grace Cathedral?

[gasps]
It's right next door to the PU club.

On the Mountain of the Flood,
at the Meeting of the Lines!

And the Rose Incarnate is, um...

The biggest rose in the whole damn town!

[both in unison] The rose window!

- [organ music plays]
- [chuckles]

- Aaah! [squeals]
- [chuckling]

This is just plain goofball, Mary Ann.

It wasn't a window in my dream,
it was a rose.

- A red one.
- Burke.

You used to go to services here.
You said so yourself.

And...

Well, I called this guy
they call the verger

and he told me the transplant man
sings in the choir here.

So?

So?

You used to sing in the choir
back home in Nantucket.

Don't you think maybe you sang here too
and that you met him?

[sighs]

Am I a pain in the ass?

You think Burke Andrew,

boy reporter,
stumbled on something sinister here?

An Episcopal cult? Come on!

Well, then, why were you writing a story
about transubstantiation?

Who says that I was?

The only reason Jack Lederer
wrote the word down

is because he didn't know what it meant.

Then why do I feel so creepy?

Because your heritage
is the Little Brown Church in the Dell.

[sighs]

Come on, you heathen.

Let's go get religion.

[cable car bell rings]

[Anna] My, Betty, you've held up well.

Your figure is as good
as it was 30 years ago.

[chuckles]

Yoga helps a lot.

Hm.

And a few snips and tucks,
you know... here and there.

- Wh--
- [laughs]

No, I'm not being catty.

I'm the last person to denigrate
the value of surgery.

[sighs]

So...

What can I do for you, hm?

I wanna know what you're doing
with my daughter.

It's monstrously perverse.

I'm giving her a home...

and love.

And I didn't, is that what you're saying?

Of course not.

And if you and Mona
are finding it hard to be friends,

a lot of the blame falls on me.

Aren't you the noble one? [scoffs]

No.

Not at all.

The truth is, Andy...

you're just using Mona.

I see.

You-- You want her around...

to satisfy some...

oh, sick maternal urge.

So you can feel like a real woman.

You know that about me, do you?

I know you'd stop at nothing
to get what you want.

Betty, what are you talking about?

You tell me.

Assault...

kidnapping...

murder?

Really?

All that, hm?

Well, what else am I to think?

I hire a private detective to check up
on you and he just...

disappears?

Oh! That.

Yes, that.

Wh-- I didn't even know
he was a detective

until Mona told me last night.

Then why did you burn his papers
the night he disappeared?

- I did nothing of the kind.
- Maybe not.

But you had a little helper.

I had a helper?

Mm. Mary Ann something?

She was dating Mr. Williams
and oh, he was just thrilled about it.

But then he went out with her
on Christmas Eve...

and he never came back again.

And she went right up to his apartment,
took out his files

and burned them on the roof.

You can't be serious.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I am really sorry.

- I guess I just lost track of the time.
- No.

Don't be silly. Everything's fine, really.

Michael has been perfect, uh...

[sighs]

Have you seen Mr. Williams?

No. No-- No... No, I haven't. I--

N-- Not for a day or so, anyway.

- You couldn't possibly know any of this.
- Unless there was a witness.

Very reliable witness, in fact.

What do you want from me, hm?

Nothing.

I just wanna see your face
when I phone the police.

And tell them there's been
some sort of... What? Foul play?

That's for them to decide, isn't it?

Betty, Mary Ann wouldn't hurt a soul.

Well, then she has nothing to worry about.

You'll drag her through hell for nothing.

I know that feeling well enough.

[sighs]

I'm sorry.

I really am.

I know I hurt you.

Badly.

And I have always,

always been sorry...

that-- that I did.

Please, don't ruin my family
because I ruined ours.

Hang up the phone, Betty.
You don't want to do this.

It's not good for anyone.
I'm sure we can find some way--

Yes, thank you.

I have information
regarding a missing person.

Okay, fine. I can wait.

[distant siren wails]

Are you the witness?

What if I was?

So you've been here since Christmas.

I had to keep an eye on Mr. Williams.

He wasn't very reliable.

[sighs] So I came out here to--

Put those down! Please.

You certainly have a ringside view.

Hmm. [chuckles]

Still have your little quirk, I see.

What the hell are you talking about?

No, not you, Officer.

I'm talking about...

your little hoochie- cooch show at midnight

for my handsome young tenant.

- My name-- Um--
- Hang up the phone, Betty!

Hang up the phone!

How did you know?

They're my children.

A mother knows these things.

Christ!

- Tell you what. Hm?
- [sighs]

You don't make any trouble for me,
I won't make it for you.

You expect me to trust you?

Oh, yes.

I was a weasel of a man, Betty.

But I'm one hell of a nice woman.

[sighs]

[door closes]

[rattling]

[rattling continues]

[footsteps approaching]

Tiny mint?

Let's just stay quiet for a while.

[sighs]

Remember anything?

I guess the choir sits up by the altar.

Maybe we should have a look up there.

Won't we be...

obtrusive?

Just for a minute.

[Burke hums Wagner's "Bridal Chorus"]

Sh! Sh! [giggling]

God, they're starting.

Come on, let's go.
I don't remember any of this.

- [door opens]
- Oh, my God, don't look.

It's the transplant man!

Where?

He's at the front door
and he has something with him.

There's no one there.

[sighs]

I swear to you, he was there a minute ago.

Well, he ain't there now.

[sighs]

Well, we'll just...

walk out naturally, like we're gonna get
some fresh air

- or somethin', okay?
- Yeah.

[woman] Sh!

[sighs]

Um... What did you mean,
he had something with him?

It was a Styrofoam cooler.

Am I supposed to know what that means?

Jon saw him leave the hospital
with one last week.

- He must've gone outside or something.
- Unless, um...

It could go up to... to the...

- To what?
- T-- To, uh...

To what?

Quasimodo, maybe?

Burke...

[sighs]

[whispers] Let's...

Let's try three.

- Come on, Burke, open the door.
- Wait a minute.

Look!

See if it fits.

[whirring]

Well...

It's done.

- Did she ask about Mr. Williams?
- She did.

I said I couldn't imagine

what had happened to him.

Did she believe you?

The point is, dear...

do you?

You must.

Okay.

Hm. Can I have a sip?

Mm.

Give her a call.
She's leaving town tomorrow.

[sighs]

She did the best she could, dear.

Can I ask you something?

Go ahead.

The anagram.

What is it?

- I'll make a deal with you.
- Uh- oh. [chuckles]

I'll explain the anagram...

if you stay friends with Brian.

What does he need a friend for?
He has his little bimbo in the window.

I have a feeling that that's over.

- You didn't tell him that I saw him?
- No, of course not.

How come you always know everything?

Don't exaggerate, dear. It's not becoming.

This is it.

- This is what?
- I don't know. Um...

It just feels right.

What, th-- this room?

No. No.

Over there.

[keys rattling]

- [elevator whirring]
- Come on.

- Burke, for God's sake!
- Wait.

I think there's a door up here.

Blessing and glory and thanksgiving
be unto Thee, Almighty God.

Therefore, with Angels and Archangels
and with all the company of Heaven,

we laud and magnify Thy glorious name,

evermore praising Thee and saying,

Holy, holy, holy, Lord God of hosts,

Heaven and earth are full of Thy glory.

Glory be to Thee, O Lord most high.

Amen.

All glory be to thee, Almighty God,
our heavenly Father,

for that Thou of thy tender mercy

didst give Thine only Son Jesus Christ...

[gasps]

...to suffer death upon the cross
for our redemption,

who made there, by His one oblation
of Himself once offered,

a full, perfect, and sufficient sacrifice,
oblation, and satisfaction

- for the sins of the whole world...
- I can't.

...and did institute,
and in His holy Gospel command us...

- If I can...
- ...to continue, a perpetual memory...

- ...you can.
- of that, His precious death and sacrifice

until His coming again.

For in the night in which He was betrayed,

He took bread,

and when He had given thanks,

He brake it,

and gave it to His disciples, saying...

"This is My Body...

Do this in remembrance of Me. "

Likewise, after supper, He took the cup,

and when He had given thanks,
He gave it to them, saying,

"Drink ye all of this,
for this is My Blood of the New Testament,

which is shed for you and for many,

for the remission of sins.

Do this, as oft as ye shall drink it...

[service continues]

- Is this the Meeting of the Lines?
- [gasping]

[gagging]

[screams]

[gasps]

- [screaming]
- [Mary Ann] Let's get out of here!

Come on!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

The key! The key!

- I got it.
- [clattering]

[panting] Right...

- [Mary Ann, trembling] Sh!
- Okay.

[creaking]

[man chants] High upon the Sacred Rock
The Rose Incarnate shines

[all chant] Upon the Mountain of the Flood
At the Meeting of the Lines

High upon the Sacred Rock
The Rose Incarnate shines

Upon the Mountain of the Flood
At the Meeting of the Lines

High upon the Sacred Rock
The Rose Incarnate shines

Upon the Mountain of the Flood
At the Meeting of the Lines

Okay. Okay.

High upon the Sacred Rock
The Rose Incarnate shines

Upon the Mountain of the Flood...

[Mary Ann whimpers]

[whirring]

It wasn't a foot.

What? What are you-- I saw it, Burke!
There's nothing else it could be!

- No.
- We have to--

When I was here before...

- You were here before?
- It wasn't a foot.

What, you remember?

It was an arm.

What were you doing?

I was getting a story.

No, no, no! What were they doing?

[panting] With the arm?

They were eating it.

[panting]

[man] Go ahead, Burke.

It's organic.

I simply can't believe
what's happening to this city.

Some folks get mighty serious
about religion, ma'am.

You better wake DeDe, Emma.

She'll miss her plane.

Yes, ma'am.

This is really corny.
I hope you know that.

Come on, turkey. Try.

[sighs]

♪ They know
We're their personal property ♪

♪ Nana, can you buy me a toy? ♪

♪ Please, what do you say? ♪

♪ I know, at Christmas, your bills... ♪

My, that is a dark secret. Hm.

Try again.

♪ Make it two ♪

This is fun!

♪ Don't wanna share mine ♪

[sighs]

Don't be so goddamn B- movie.

Shut up and walk.

[Burke] It is the chance of a lifetime.

Come with me.

[sniffles]

[sighs]

Okay.

[sighs]

Come on.

[laughing]

[Michael] Oh!

Oh! [sighs]

- ♪ It ain't no fun with another ♪
- Mm.

Oh!

I am, indeed! I adore that one.

That's it?

♪ What'll we do ♪

Oh.

- ♪ With these two? ♪
- [sighs]

♪ Now that we're three ♪

♪ And there's only you and me ♪

♪ We're not Mum or Dad ♪

A man...

and...

a girl?

This? This is it?

♪ Nana, can you buy me a toy? ♪

God, it's so sexist.

♪ What do you say? ♪

I beg your pardon, young lady?

Girl.

The word is "woman."

No. You're a woman, dear.

I'm a girl.

And proud of it.

My own goddamn father.

A sexist!

- [sighs] My darling daughter...
- [chuckles]

transsexuals can never be sexists.

Mm- mm.

[laughs] God!

So, if I'd have died in that hospital--

- Oh, Jesus!
- No, listen.

If I'd have died...

they'd have been munchin' on me
up on that catwalk.

They didn't eat whole people, my love.

Just amputated parts.

What a relief.

Hi, guys.

What you eatin'?

Michael's mother sent him a pound cake.

Well...

it's progress, at least.

- Is it? There wasn't even a note attached.
- Hm...

She's trying, Mouse.

Yeah. A fruitcake would have made me
a little nervous.

Hey, munchies!

Here, take. Eat.

Thanks.

I loved Burke's article.

Yeah, so did everybody else.

[Mona] What's the matter?

[Michael] Burke was offered a job
at New York Magazine.

[Mona] Oh.

Hope you're not leavin' us. 

[chuckles]

- How could I?
- [Mona] Oh.

Mwah!

[sighing]

[knocking]

Come in!

Hey! What's this?

- From Michael's mother.
- Oh, right.

Also...

there's this big protest going on
at the Civic Center today.

Anti- nukes.

- Thought you might wanna join me.
- Go limp together, huh?

Maybe it's not your thing.

What, are you kidding?
Everything's my thing.

[both laugh]

It could be a real flaky crowd, but...

We'll fit right in.

- Yeah.
- [chuckles]

[birdsong]

- Now, you'll write, darling. You promise?
- I promise.

Okay.

- Got your passports?
- Oh, shit.

- Get in.
- And you'll be careful of strangers.

- Would you?
- Oh, Mother.

There are no strangers where we're going.

[whispers] Yeah.

Thank you.

Say bye- bye! [laughs]

How did this happen, Emma?

I don't even know where Jonestown is!

So, how's business?

[Mother Mucca] Lord, child!

Busier than hell!

Must be deer season.

Yeah. And we got all them truckers
from the interstate.

Bobby got herself a CB radio.

Now we can't beat 'em off with a stick.

Ho-- How about you?

Oh, this, that. A little gardening.

You ain't still growin'
them reefer plants?

I just called to wish you
Happy Mother's Day.

[chuckles]

You mean you...

[chuckles]

Go on with you, child.

I'm sending you that snapshot of Mona.

Oh, that'll be real nice.

I like havin' pictures around.

[Anna] Nice evening.

Oh, hi!

Burke's plane get off okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, fine.

Here's his key.

Sit.

[sighs]

I've been meaning to thank you
for your help on Christmas Eve.

The party, you mean?

The bonfire.

On the roof.

Oh.

[sighs]

You're welcome.

[sighs]

When you first got here,

I thought the freedom
might be too much for you.

But I was wrong.

You're gonna do just fine.

[both laugh]

[sighs]

I know.

[sighs]

[sighs]