Monsters (1988–1990): Season 1, Episode 19 - Rain Dance - full transcript
A couple who exploit native Americans get more than they bargain for when they buy a rain-making idol.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
[FATHER SIGHS]
[EXCLAIMING IN ANNOYANCE]
[UTENSILS CLATTERING]
Honey, it's family hour,
there must be something on.
DAUGHTER:
Oh, wow, Candy Critters!
[FATHER EXCLAIMS]
Oh, great. It's Monsters,
our favorite show!
Shh, it's starting.
[MONSTROUS LAUGH]
[FATHER CHUCKLES]
[GENTLE FOLK MUSIC PLAYING]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Here, careful.
Tom.
I'm leaving.
Take me to the airport.
I saw a lizard today.
A Gila monster
tried to get in.
He was probably
just looking for water.
Like everyone else
around here.
Oh, honey.
To the great drought
of '89.
Thank you.
I mean it, Tom.
I won't take another minute
of this desert air.
Honey, we're going.
We're going,
first thing in the morning.
As soon as the shippers
come for this stuff.
You are not gonna
believe it.
You know,
the lost tribe,
the vanished ones?
Well, I found them.
I walked straight
into the mother load.
This stuff is prehistoric.
Everything you sell
is pre-historic.
No, I mean, pre-historic.
Honey these people lived
hundreds, thousands
of years ago.
And then the whole tribe
just disappeared,
without a trace.
What they left behind were
incredibly advanced
stone cities.
Empty.
Except for this stuff.
Hey, you see
the pattern here?
Huh? You see what's
chipped and worn?
That's not my work
this time, Vanessa.
This is the genuine article.
Honey, this is just
the loose change.
This...
[COUGHING] Tom...
Tom, my skin.
You aren't paying
any attention to my needs.
Look at this, baby.
Nobody wears
turquoise anymore.
Honey, do you have
any idea
what my dealers will pay me
for a piece like this?
They'll kill each other
to give me ten grand.
I paid those Indians
16 bucks
for the whole basket-full.
Sixteen bucks.
This piece,
belonged to an ancient
Indian princess.
I want you to have it.
Has it ever
occurred to you,
that once in a while,
just once,
I might like something
that hasn't been used?
Bill bought Claudia,
a ruby brooch from
the House of Babylon
last week.
All right, okay.
So a ruby brooch
isn't the same
as your tourist trinkets,
and your old coffee cups,
and your...
And your Halloween masks.
Halloween mask?
Vanessa.
I'll have you know
that this is the only one
of its kind in existence.
So, maybe not the only one.
Bill and Claudia vacationed
in the Hamptons.
The got a condo
in the south of France.
They travel.
Where do we go?
Oh, oh.
Go out to the desert,
or some other
tragedy torn place.
If there's a hurricane,
if there's a flood,
a famine or a fire,
Tom and Vanessa Solo
are there.
Why can't you do something
respectable like Bill?
Like Bill?
Vanessa, he's on trial
for insider trading.
He's a criminal.
He's a white-collar criminal.
Oh, great!
This is...
It's so tasteless.
[STOMPING]
So maybe life hasn't been
all that glamorous.
Maybe I have missed
the gold ring now and again.
And you're right,
we are here
in the middle of the desert.
But I want you
to listen, Vanessa.
Listen close.
I think I hear
our ship coming in.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
[HOARSELY] I got
something for you.
Hey, what'd I tell you?
Even granny wants
to cash in on the gravy train.
Didn't hear you drive up.
Let me give you
a hand with this.
[WHEELS SQUEAKING]
[RASPINGLY] It is Massau,
God of Death.
It is Massau,
God of Death.
Oh, I don't know.
There's not much of a market
for Gods of Death
these days.
I don't think
I can use it.
All right,
all right. I...
You look hungry.
I'll tell you what. I'll...
I'll give you
20 bucks for it.
I can probably
sell it for...
I don't know, 25.
Take it or leave it.
It is from the Kachinas.
Pueblos tribe.
The Kachinas
danced to bring the rain.
But there was
a price to pay.
For when the rains came,
there had to also be a death.
It was Massau's bargain.
Death for life.
A necessary balance.
Going once.
Buy a lot of nachos
for 20 bucks.
Thousands of years ago,
on this very ground,
my people lived
and prospered,
from horizon to horizon.
A sea of grass.
Trees, with fruit.
And then this,
greed, property.
And then,
the rain stopped coming.
For 23 years,
it did not rain.
We all became Kachinas.
Thousands dancing
for the rain.
Yeah. And everybody lived
happily ever after like you.
Look, I'd offer you
a ride, but...
Historians, they tell,
of our sudden disappearance.
They scratch
their heads and say,
"Where did they all go?
"All that is left,
is stone...
"and sand."
[LAUGHING]
Massau knows.
Wherever Massau walks,
nothing remains
but stone
and dust.
[MURMURING]
Yes, perhaps.
Perhaps the rains
will come.
When the night is full
and shadows
of our dead walk the earth.
Yes.
Perhaps.
Massau...
will come again.
Yes.
[LAUGHING EVILLY]
TOM: First thing
I'm gonna buy
is an Olympic size
hot tub with a fountain.
You'd like that?
I'd love that.
And then
we'll settle in Jamaica
or some tropical island
where the economy's
collapsing.
Laying in the sun,
soaking up the tan, huh?
Hmm.
Hmm?
Listening to the waves.
Being waited on hand
and foot by the natives.
And buying up
all their heirlooms.
Isn't nature incredible?
When crops fail,
people get hungry.
And sooner or later
they're as happy pigs in mud
just to sell their family
treasures for a song.
I think it's God's way
of making them
share their past
with the rest of the world.
Fifteen grand
guaranteed,
the mask alone.
And jewelry, six figures.
The God of Death...
priceless.
Mm. You're all greedy.
[CHUCKLES]
Come on, Tommy.
Let's go to the airport
and get a hotel.
Come on,
one with the hot tub
and a vibrating bed.
Hmm, and room service.
Champagne, roast beef,
chocolate cream cake.
I can't, honey.
I can't leave this stuff.
You're not gonna be happy
till I look like
that shriveled old hag.
Hey.
Tomorrow night,
at this time,
we will be eating
the rarest, bloodiest
roast beef,
and drinking
the best champagne,
the most expensive
in the city.
And then,
you can call Claudia
from the restaurant.
Tear her heart out.
[LAUGHING]
Tomorrow.
But tonight...
That woman
gave me the creeps.
That's her job.
[RUSTLING]
What was that?
That's granny...
giving you the creeps.
[LAUGHS]
[GLASS BREAKING]
Tom.
[SIGHING]
All right, all right.
I'll go have a look.
TOM: The mask!
Oh! oh!
[WHISPERING] Robbers.
Hold these.
Bathroom.
Tom...
Shh.
Tom, look.
What you doing?
Look.
Honey, don't do that.
Don't do that.
We can glue it.
Then glue it.
Those dirty,
conniving crooks.
I'm going after them.
Tom, stop.
[LOUD THUD]
That was good.
Fifteen thousand.
Fifteen thousand bucks, honey
Fifteen thousand bucks,
I can't believe it.
Oh, yeah!
The lost tribe,
the vanished ones.
And I fell for it.
Like yesterdays
biggest fool.
I'll have the whole
lot of them arrested.
Every last one of them.
Okay, honey.
I know what I'll do.
I'll sue them.
I'll sue the whole
Indian nation.
I'll sue the Federal government
for allowing them
to live in this country.
They have not heard
the last from Tom Solo.
All right, honey.
Why don't you go to bed.
All right, all right.
All right.
Calm down, calm down.
Calm down.
We still have
the Death God here.
We still have the jewelry.
I will see
those bastards in court.
I swear it.
You homely looking thing
I'll be glad
when you're not here
to watch every move I make.
Oh.
[SIGHS]
[FLUTE MUSIC PLAYING]
[MAN CHANTING
IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
[CHANTING CONTINUES]
[SCREAMING]
Tom.
Tom, wake up.
It moved.
Damn it, Tom. Wake up.
That thing is alive.
You're dreaming.
Tom, the Death God.
It grabbed my hand.
And the floor beneath it,
it's all rotting.
And my face Tom,
my face.
You had a nightmare.
Go on back to sleep.
Sleep, I'm leaving.
Oh, oh, my face.
It's all drying up.
Oh, my God!
My face!
Oh!
[CHANTING CONTINUES]
[THUDDING]
I'm up.
[EXHALES]
Vanessa?
Honey?
Who the hell moved
the Death God?
Vanessa?
Vanessa, open the door.
Open the door, honey.
What the...
What the hell's that?
[CREAKING]
[GASPS]
[VOICES WHISPERING
INDISTINCTLY]
My turquoise.
Somebody's gonna
pay for this.
[GASPING]
What the...
What are you doing?
You're not supposed to move,
you're a statue.
You want me to leave?
No problem. No problem.
I'm out of here.
[SNAPPING]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Priceless...
[GASPING]
[WIND HOWLING]
OLD WOMAN: Perhaps,
now the rain will come.
For wherever Massau walks,
nothing remains,
but stone and dust.
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
[FATHER SIGHS]
[EXCLAIMING IN ANNOYANCE]
[UTENSILS CLATTERING]
Honey, it's family hour,
there must be something on.
DAUGHTER:
Oh, wow, Candy Critters!
[FATHER EXCLAIMS]
Oh, great. It's Monsters,
our favorite show!
Shh, it's starting.
[MONSTROUS LAUGH]
[FATHER CHUCKLES]
[GENTLE FOLK MUSIC PLAYING]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Here, careful.
Tom.
I'm leaving.
Take me to the airport.
I saw a lizard today.
A Gila monster
tried to get in.
He was probably
just looking for water.
Like everyone else
around here.
Oh, honey.
To the great drought
of '89.
Thank you.
I mean it, Tom.
I won't take another minute
of this desert air.
Honey, we're going.
We're going,
first thing in the morning.
As soon as the shippers
come for this stuff.
You are not gonna
believe it.
You know,
the lost tribe,
the vanished ones?
Well, I found them.
I walked straight
into the mother load.
This stuff is prehistoric.
Everything you sell
is pre-historic.
No, I mean, pre-historic.
Honey these people lived
hundreds, thousands
of years ago.
And then the whole tribe
just disappeared,
without a trace.
What they left behind were
incredibly advanced
stone cities.
Empty.
Except for this stuff.
Hey, you see
the pattern here?
Huh? You see what's
chipped and worn?
That's not my work
this time, Vanessa.
This is the genuine article.
Honey, this is just
the loose change.
This...
[COUGHING] Tom...
Tom, my skin.
You aren't paying
any attention to my needs.
Look at this, baby.
Nobody wears
turquoise anymore.
Honey, do you have
any idea
what my dealers will pay me
for a piece like this?
They'll kill each other
to give me ten grand.
I paid those Indians
16 bucks
for the whole basket-full.
Sixteen bucks.
This piece,
belonged to an ancient
Indian princess.
I want you to have it.
Has it ever
occurred to you,
that once in a while,
just once,
I might like something
that hasn't been used?
Bill bought Claudia,
a ruby brooch from
the House of Babylon
last week.
All right, okay.
So a ruby brooch
isn't the same
as your tourist trinkets,
and your old coffee cups,
and your...
And your Halloween masks.
Halloween mask?
Vanessa.
I'll have you know
that this is the only one
of its kind in existence.
So, maybe not the only one.
Bill and Claudia vacationed
in the Hamptons.
The got a condo
in the south of France.
They travel.
Where do we go?
Oh, oh.
Go out to the desert,
or some other
tragedy torn place.
If there's a hurricane,
if there's a flood,
a famine or a fire,
Tom and Vanessa Solo
are there.
Why can't you do something
respectable like Bill?
Like Bill?
Vanessa, he's on trial
for insider trading.
He's a criminal.
He's a white-collar criminal.
Oh, great!
This is...
It's so tasteless.
[STOMPING]
So maybe life hasn't been
all that glamorous.
Maybe I have missed
the gold ring now and again.
And you're right,
we are here
in the middle of the desert.
But I want you
to listen, Vanessa.
Listen close.
I think I hear
our ship coming in.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
[HOARSELY] I got
something for you.
Hey, what'd I tell you?
Even granny wants
to cash in on the gravy train.
Didn't hear you drive up.
Let me give you
a hand with this.
[WHEELS SQUEAKING]
[RASPINGLY] It is Massau,
God of Death.
It is Massau,
God of Death.
Oh, I don't know.
There's not much of a market
for Gods of Death
these days.
I don't think
I can use it.
All right,
all right. I...
You look hungry.
I'll tell you what. I'll...
I'll give you
20 bucks for it.
I can probably
sell it for...
I don't know, 25.
Take it or leave it.
It is from the Kachinas.
Pueblos tribe.
The Kachinas
danced to bring the rain.
But there was
a price to pay.
For when the rains came,
there had to also be a death.
It was Massau's bargain.
Death for life.
A necessary balance.
Going once.
Buy a lot of nachos
for 20 bucks.
Thousands of years ago,
on this very ground,
my people lived
and prospered,
from horizon to horizon.
A sea of grass.
Trees, with fruit.
And then this,
greed, property.
And then,
the rain stopped coming.
For 23 years,
it did not rain.
We all became Kachinas.
Thousands dancing
for the rain.
Yeah. And everybody lived
happily ever after like you.
Look, I'd offer you
a ride, but...
Historians, they tell,
of our sudden disappearance.
They scratch
their heads and say,
"Where did they all go?
"All that is left,
is stone...
"and sand."
[LAUGHING]
Massau knows.
Wherever Massau walks,
nothing remains
but stone
and dust.
[MURMURING]
Yes, perhaps.
Perhaps the rains
will come.
When the night is full
and shadows
of our dead walk the earth.
Yes.
Perhaps.
Massau...
will come again.
Yes.
[LAUGHING EVILLY]
TOM: First thing
I'm gonna buy
is an Olympic size
hot tub with a fountain.
You'd like that?
I'd love that.
And then
we'll settle in Jamaica
or some tropical island
where the economy's
collapsing.
Laying in the sun,
soaking up the tan, huh?
Hmm.
Hmm?
Listening to the waves.
Being waited on hand
and foot by the natives.
And buying up
all their heirlooms.
Isn't nature incredible?
When crops fail,
people get hungry.
And sooner or later
they're as happy pigs in mud
just to sell their family
treasures for a song.
I think it's God's way
of making them
share their past
with the rest of the world.
Fifteen grand
guaranteed,
the mask alone.
And jewelry, six figures.
The God of Death...
priceless.
Mm. You're all greedy.
[CHUCKLES]
Come on, Tommy.
Let's go to the airport
and get a hotel.
Come on,
one with the hot tub
and a vibrating bed.
Hmm, and room service.
Champagne, roast beef,
chocolate cream cake.
I can't, honey.
I can't leave this stuff.
You're not gonna be happy
till I look like
that shriveled old hag.
Hey.
Tomorrow night,
at this time,
we will be eating
the rarest, bloodiest
roast beef,
and drinking
the best champagne,
the most expensive
in the city.
And then,
you can call Claudia
from the restaurant.
Tear her heart out.
[LAUGHING]
Tomorrow.
But tonight...
That woman
gave me the creeps.
That's her job.
[RUSTLING]
What was that?
That's granny...
giving you the creeps.
[LAUGHS]
[GLASS BREAKING]
Tom.
[SIGHING]
All right, all right.
I'll go have a look.
TOM: The mask!
Oh! oh!
[WHISPERING] Robbers.
Hold these.
Bathroom.
Tom...
Shh.
Tom, look.
What you doing?
Look.
Honey, don't do that.
Don't do that.
We can glue it.
Then glue it.
Those dirty,
conniving crooks.
I'm going after them.
Tom, stop.
[LOUD THUD]
That was good.
Fifteen thousand.
Fifteen thousand bucks, honey
Fifteen thousand bucks,
I can't believe it.
Oh, yeah!
The lost tribe,
the vanished ones.
And I fell for it.
Like yesterdays
biggest fool.
I'll have the whole
lot of them arrested.
Every last one of them.
Okay, honey.
I know what I'll do.
I'll sue them.
I'll sue the whole
Indian nation.
I'll sue the Federal government
for allowing them
to live in this country.
They have not heard
the last from Tom Solo.
All right, honey.
Why don't you go to bed.
All right, all right.
All right.
Calm down, calm down.
Calm down.
We still have
the Death God here.
We still have the jewelry.
I will see
those bastards in court.
I swear it.
You homely looking thing
I'll be glad
when you're not here
to watch every move I make.
Oh.
[SIGHS]
[FLUTE MUSIC PLAYING]
[MAN CHANTING
IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
[CHANTING CONTINUES]
[SCREAMING]
Tom.
Tom, wake up.
It moved.
Damn it, Tom. Wake up.
That thing is alive.
You're dreaming.
Tom, the Death God.
It grabbed my hand.
And the floor beneath it,
it's all rotting.
And my face Tom,
my face.
You had a nightmare.
Go on back to sleep.
Sleep, I'm leaving.
Oh, oh, my face.
It's all drying up.
Oh, my God!
My face!
Oh!
[CHANTING CONTINUES]
[THUDDING]
I'm up.
[EXHALES]
Vanessa?
Honey?
Who the hell moved
the Death God?
Vanessa?
Vanessa, open the door.
Open the door, honey.
What the...
What the hell's that?
[CREAKING]
[GASPS]
[VOICES WHISPERING
INDISTINCTLY]
My turquoise.
Somebody's gonna
pay for this.
[GASPING]
What the...
What are you doing?
You're not supposed to move,
you're a statue.
You want me to leave?
No problem. No problem.
I'm out of here.
[SNAPPING]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Priceless...
[GASPING]
[WIND HOWLING]
OLD WOMAN: Perhaps,
now the rain will come.
For wherever Massau walks,
nothing remains,
but stone and dust.
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]