Mom (2013–…): Season 3, Episode 22 - Atticus Finch and the Downtrodden - full transcript

I had all these plans
about becoming a lawyer...

and I was doing so good...

then last night I went online

and... and...

and...

Oh, for God's sake, you're like a cat
trying to cough up a hairball!

And what?!

Then I found out how
much it's gonna cost!

For two more years of college

and three years of law
school, I need two... h...

- two... two...
- Two what?!



$200,000!

Poor thing. No wonder she's crying.

All night. I had to make
her sleep downstairs.

Where am I gonna get that kind of money?

I'm a waitress.

People are gonna have to
leave me thousand-dollar tips.

And I'm not that good a waitress!

She's really not.

Anyway, I know I'm supposed to end...

on an up note, so, um...

I'm grateful to be sober...

and...

and...

... and...



Clap. Put her out of her misery.

Thank you.

How's the peach pie? Is it worth it?

I think so. You want some?

Just a nibble.

Oh! So worth it.

Christy.

Would you pass me the sweetener?

Ladies, can we please show a
little compassion for our friend?

Hey, I showed compassion for 22 hours.

Right now this is just white noise.

Sweetie, how much is it gonna cost

for just one semester of college?

$8,423...

plus books.

Okay, then you don't need $200,000,

you just need that.

Yeah, I guess.

You have to start looking for
scholarships, student loans,

anything you can get your hands on

to help you pay for the first semester.

Okay. I could do that.

There you go.

One step at a time.

Thanks, Marjorie.

You always know how to calm me down.

And didn't you tell me you
had some money set aside?

$4,000. But I spent it on
my daughter's wedding dress,

and now she's not getting married!

Nice. She's sleeping
at your house tonight.

♪ ♪

- Feeling better?
- Yeah.

Marjorie's right.

I just got to take
this one step at a time,

roll with the punches.

Oh, hey, you're home early.

Are you kidding me?!

Oh!

What's her problem?

Seriously?

Think about it.

For how long?

♪ ♪

You did this to me.

What did I do?

I'm talking to the dress.

Ah. It's not talking back, is it?

How can she afford pot?

How can she afford anything?

I just told her, if she's gonna
live here, she has to get a job.

Great. She can be the
bud-tender at the pot store.

Actually, uh, that's
not an entry level job.

You know I'm gonna have
to pay for her school, too.

- Says who?
- Says me. What kind of mother

would I be if I didn't help
my daughter get an education?

I didn't help you... Does
that make me a bad mother?

It's one of the things, yeah.

Okay, let's try this another way.

How much more money are we talking about

for her to go to school?

Same as me, I guess.

Eight, nine grand a semester.

All right, so what's the
first thing you need to do?

There's only one thing I can do.

♪ ♪

Psst.

Hey. Size two, gettin' married?

Come here.

Let me show you something.

Never been worn.

Pay cash, and I'll throw in the shoes.

♪ ♪

Hello?

In here.

What's up?

Just doing as I was told,
trying to find scholarship money

anywhere I can. Question:

do we have any Native
American blood in our family?

Ah. I did have a Paiute boyfriend

right around the time you were born.

Close enough.

One-eighteenth Paiute.

The Beer Distributors of
America give out a scholarship?

Yes. And if anybody deserves it, I do.

"Napa Valley Trial Lawyers Association."

Yeah, that's a good one.

But I got to go to a
banquet and give a speech

on why I want to practice law.

Really? Let's hear what you wrote.

- Yeah?
- Sure.

Great.

"Good evening and thank you.

"Ever since I was a little girl,

I've wanted to help people in trouble."

Oh, screw you!

Oh. Almost forgot.

The Bonnie Plunkett Scholarship...

No boring speech necessary.

Oh, my God. Where'd this come from?

You're not selling fake
ecstasy again, are you?

No. But for the record,
I never called it ecstasy,

I just walked around Coachella

and offered people $20 gummy bears.

That money's from
Violet's wedding dress.

You sold the gown of shame?

Not only did I sell it, I
got invited to the wedding.

You could be my plus-one.

How much is here? ‭$500.

That dress cost me four grand.

Yeah, and I sold it
for a thousand dollars.

So wait, you're keeping half?

You got a problem with that?

Yeah! I'm trying to go to college!

Well, you should take a business class

and learn how the world works.

Mom!

Oh, for God's sake.

- Thank you.
- Not so fast. Tell me you love me.

I love you.

Like you mean it.

I love you.

Now, was that so hard?

I'm such a whore.

♪ ♪

All right, folks,

this is the part of the
evening that always tugs

at my recently
scraped-out heartstrings...

where we offer a helping
hand to one deserving student

who's seeking a career in the law.

Now, this year we have three

outstanding young candidates
who will say a few words

about why they want to be an attorney.

And we'll begin with Christy Plunkay.

Thank you.

It's actually Plunkett.

But I kind of like the sound of Plunkay.

It's more... funkay.

All right, then, not fun-nay.

Ever since I was a little girl,

I dreamed of being a lawyer

because I wanted to make a difference.

I wanted to help people

like Atticus Finch did
in the inspiring novel,

"To Kill a Mockingbird."

I believe that the real
superheroes in our society

are lawyers.

Especially trial lawyers.

Um...

you know what?

This is all crap.

Let me tell you why I'm really here.

I wasted a lot of my life
using drugs and alcohol.

I was a complete and total mess.

But... three years ago, I got sober,

got my GED, finished two
years of community college

with a 3.8 grade average...

... all while I was working as
a waitress and legal secretary.

At the same time, I was
raising my son and daughter,

and caring for my
mentally-challenged mother.

So, the answer to why I want
to be a lawyer is simple:

I know first-hand what it's
like to fall through the cracks.

And I also know

what it's like to be
given a second chance.

If you decide to help me out,

your money won't be wasted,

'cause I have lived enough
to appreciate how precious

an opportunity like this is.

Thank you.

Also, I never read
To Kill a Mockingbird,

I just saw the movie.

- Where's Christy?
- Who knows.

Elks Club, Lions Club, Moose Lodge.

Every night she's out
begging a different animal

for scholarship money.

Good for her.

She's in the solution, not the problem.

You know,

whenever you burp up
one of those clichés,

I get a pain right behind my eye.

I know.

I got this.

I'm sorry, what's happening?

It's my treat.

Yeah, I just don't understand.

I came into a little extra money
selling Violet's wedding dress,

and I want to buy my
friends, and Marjorie,

coffee and dessert.

She loves you, she just
doesn't know how to express it.

Didn't Christy buy that dress?

Yes.

Then shouldn't she get all the money?

She thinks she did, that's close enough.

Anyway, I'm looking
for other stuff to sell,

you guys got anything
you want to get rid of?

I have a Bowflex, a
Thighmaster, and an Ab Rocker.

Still in their boxes, I'm guessing.

That is so mean.

And yes.

I'll take it all. Anybody else?

Oh hell, I got a garage full of stuff.

You'd be doing me a huge
favor by clearing it out.

A huge favor?

Then why don't you pay the bill?

Well, Freaky Friday's over.

Hey.

Hey.

How'd it go?

Kind of a disaster.

Where were you?

Elks, Beavers, Woodchucks?

The Shriners.

When I told them I was
sober, they started to boo.

Aw.

Where's Violet?

She's sleeping.

At 9:00?

Apparently the good parties
don't start till 11:00.

Did she even bother
looking for a job today?

Who knows.

I don't have the energy
to fight with her anymore.

Well, lucky for you, I'm
sitting on a lot of anger,

and I need to squirt it at somebody.

Wake up!

What the hell? Give me back my blanket.

It's my blanket, buck-o.

Now here's how this is gonna go,

no more parties, no
more laying around here

smoking reefer.

What's "reefer?"

Shut up.

You have got till the end
of the week to get a job.

Why are you being so mean to me?

My whole life is falling apart.

Don't let her play you.

Your life is falling apart

'cause you're stupid!

Yes!

You need to move

out of the problem,
and into the solution.

Ow.

What's that mean?

It means stop

feeling sorry for yourself
and get on with your life.

- Mom.
- What?

I love you so much right now.

Oh, okay, thanks, I love you, too.

For your information, I
don't feel sorry for myself.

Get back in there!

Okay, that's it, you're getting a hug.

So, what do you think?

Oh...

my God!

I know, it's a mess.

Can't even park my Range Rover in here

'cause of these damn Jet Skis.

Since when do you play drums?

My ex-husband took lessons.

- Really?
- Yeah.

He had no rhythm in bed,

I don't know why he thought
he could play the drums.

What is that? A hang glider?

Yeah, he was into all
kinds of extreme sports.

Hmm, explains why he
married an alcoholic.

- So all this stuff is his?
- Yep.

And he doesn't want it?

Oh, he wants it.

So how soon can you
get it all out of here?

I don't know, Marjorie,
I did everything you said.

I applied for, like, ten
scholarships and got nowhere.

Yeah, I could apply for a student loan,

but I'll never get out from under it.

Yes, I'm staying positive.

Yes, I know it's all in God's hands.

Behind you.

I got to go, my mother has a canoe.

It's a kayak.

Open 1A.

What's happening?

Hang on, let me put this down.

Where did you get that thing?

Jill's garage.

She gave it to me to sell.

I got stuff from everyone.

Does Mrs. Hathaway know you're
using her apartment for storage?

Mrs. Hathaway is in the
hospital in critical condition.

She does not need the
stress of hearing from me.

Then I guess you're in business.

I even came up with a slogan,

"Don't junk it, Plunkett."

How about,

"Don't throw it away, Plunkay."

What's "Plunkay?"

Never mind. I got to get to work.

Is Violet here? I could use
some help with the Jet Skis.

Believe it or not, she and
a bunch of her girlfriends

- went to Lake Tahoe for the weekend.
- What?

I told her to find a job.

And I told her to do the laundry,

and I'm still wearing yesterday's pants.

Hey, ask around at the restaurant,

see if anybody wants to buy a guitar

autographed by Sammy Hagar.

Working on scholarships?

No.

Trying to find out if the
government breaks your legs

when you can't pay
back your student loans.

Why do you assume you won't
be able to pay them back?

After you graduate, you're
gonna be a rich attorney.

I was never doing this
to become a rich attorney.

I want to help people who
are in trouble, you know?

The downtrodden.

Oh honey, when are you
gonna figure it out?

We are the downtrodden.

Make a lot of money so we
can be the "up-trodden."

Hello?

Oh, crap. In here!

You want me to take this?

No, she's my fault.

Oh.

Hey.

- Hey, how was your weekend?
- It was great.

I won $38 at the casino.

Look at that, Christy, your
money problems are over.

Yeah, turns out I'm really
good at slot machines.

Anyway, the best part is I got a job.

Really? Where?

At Harrah's. I'm gonna
be a blackjack dealer.

Wait a minute, you're
moving to Lake Tahoe?

Yeah, my friend Lindsay's dad is
a pit-boss and he hooked us up.

We're gonna share an apartment
and go to dealer school.

It'll be a blast.

But what about finishing college,

making something of your life?

money.

When people win at blackjack,
they give you a tip.

So I figure, all I got to do
is make sure that they win.

Oh, God, she'll be stripping in a month.

May I step in?

Have at it.

That sounds like a
terrific plan, Violet.

Good luck.

That's how you step in? Step out.

What? She's an adult.

Maybe college isn't the
right thing for her now.

So you'd rather have her deal blackjack?

No, it's a terrible idea,

but let her find out for
herself that she's an idiot.

Thanks, Grandma.

Anyway, I'm gonna go lie
down for a little while.

I'm going out later to celebrate.

I can't believe this.

Hey, look at the bright side,

you now have one less
tuition to worry about.

I don't care about the money anymore,

I just want her to be safe.

Hey, I happen to remember
another cute, young blonde

who left home early to
find her way in the world,

and she turned out just fine.

I wound up addicted to drugs,
alcohol, with a police record

and two children.

Maybe I wasn't talking about you.

Oh, my God.

I got the scholarship
from the trial lawyers.

Oh, honey, that's great!

It's like Marjorie says,

"When God closes a
door, he opens a window."

Ow.

♪ Happy birthday, dear Christy ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Keep coming back. ♪

Three years sober, I'm so proud of you.

Thanks, Marjorie.

I don't know what's more impressive,

three years without a drink
or a whole week without crying.

I just want to thank you guys.

I couldn't have made it through
this year without you.

I'd like to say that
you're all my family,

but that word has
such ugly connotations.

How's it going with the college tuition?

Almost there.

If I get the tax refund I'm hoping for,

grab some extra shifts
at the restaurant,

and perform my own root
canal, I might just make it.

Or...

you could have a mother
who wants to make amends

for not being there the first time

you tried to get an education.

What's this?

I sold Jill's Jet Skis for...

how much did I tell you?

$5,000

Right, five grand.

Anyway, that's my cut and...

and now it's yours.

Good luck at school.

Oh, Mom, thank you.

Don't count it in front of Jill.