Miz & Mrs. (2018–…): Season 3, Episode 9 - Episode #3.9 - full transcript

This is so tight.

It's literally making
my butt look so flat.

You just popped it out,
didn't you?

Just...

Oh, my god, you totally, yeah,
you just blew it out.

- Oh, my god, did I?
- I hope that wasn't expensive.

But I guess you're not
wearing that.

All right, now you're good.

Now you can go skiing.

Someone packs a little, uh,
heavy,

- Um, snowsuits,
- if you will.



Did you think about that?

- No, I...
- Snow boots... we have kids...

- Mittens, hats.
- No, and by the way,

your snowsuits look amazing.

They're incredible.

- Well...
- And how much did they cost?

Probably a-an arm and a leg.

And what the hell is that?

Does my butt look flat
on those, though?

No, your butt's...
Your butt's in there.

It's not really...
I need more space.

That, honestly,

looks like a garbage bag.

That's not nice.



I'm not trying...
I'm not trying to be mean,

but you're telling me that
doesn't look like a garbage bag.

It does not look
like a garbage bag.

- It's fashion, Michael mizanin.
- Okay, I'll show you fashion.

I can make a snowsuit
real quick.

When I was a kid,

you would take the bread
out of the bag

and you would
put it on your foot

and that was your,
you know, way of

making sure that
you don't get...

- Wet.
- ...Water into your boot.

All right, let's go
to the mountains.

Wwe's it family.

Mike, are you kidding me?

We are...

awesome!
*MIZ AND Mrs*

*MIZ AND Mrs*
Season 03 Episode 09

Episode Title "Ricky Balboa"
Aired on July 25, 2022.

Ready to go to the mountains?

Roe-Roe,

- ready to go to the mountains?
- Yeah.

Pumpkin's ready.

Pumpkin's ready.
Pumpkin's ready.

Monroe, you ready to see snow?

Yeah, I want to skate.

- You want to skate?
- You want to skate?

- Well, I don't know if we're gonna be skating.
- You know, I knew how to skate

by the age of three.

I know most people are not

excited about the cold,
but I grew up freezing.

- So, I like it.
- Yeah.

It's not always fun,

but it's home.

Should we sing
some songs, roe-roe?

Okay, which song
do you want to sing?

Do you want to sing
the alphabet song?

Elsa.

♪ A, B ♪

- ♪ C ♪
- no!

- No? Okay, uh...
- I want Elsa.

- You want Elsa?
- You want... Elsa?

Okay.

We are not allowed

on this show to sing
the popular songs

because those popular songs

are very expensive.

So, what do I have to do?

I have to make up the songs.

My kids may not be getting

frozen, they're getting
"freezin'" by me, their dad.

♪ Elsa ♪

♪ she has ♪

♪ ice that comes
out of her hands ♪

Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, okay, okay,

okay, okay.

I want to play on the mountain.

We're gonna play
on the mountain,

Monroe, uh, once we get up
to where it's all tons

of snow.

It's gonna be amazing.

I also packed some stuff for,
uh, for training

to help you get ready.

Oh, I thought we were kind of,
we were gonna relax

- with the girls.
- We are...

We are gonna relax.
Of course, we're gonna relax,

but we're also gonna,
you know, kind of get your...

- Yeah.
- ...Get your body moving.

Get it moving.

I...
I don't think I...

I-I didn't think this through.
I made a very quick decision.

I was very excited,
I said yes...

Do you think we could
maybe get a match?

You two as a team
at the royal rumble.

I haven't been in the ring
forever, but...

- ...Why not?
- Yeah.

- Yes. Yes.
- Okay, good. All right, awesome.

- Thanks, Bruce.
- I look forward to it.

- I appreciate it, man.
- Wow.

But with that comes
a lot of responsibilities.

Now it's hitting me.
Now it's-it's real.

I-it takes a year
to get in shape

and-and even more
to get in ring shape.

It's just if I would have known,
I would have...

I think I would have dedicated
more time to getting ready.

We'll go up in the mountains.

- We'll train.
- Mm-hmm.

The last time I wrestled
was wrestlemania 33,

which was about five years ago.

Nikki Bella wants
a tag from John cena.

Look, look, look, look,
look at Maryse!

Oh, Maryse.
Come on!

I never thought,
after having two babies,

that I would be
back in the ring.

I spy

something white.

Oh, do you see
something white, Monroe?

Horse.

People train for years
to get in ring shape.

It-it's crazy.

It's like all the work
is very overwhelming.

- Oh, it's too hot?
- It's too hot in here?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Wow, look
at that place, girls.

It's beautiful.

- Cheese.
- Cheese.

Wow.

- Wow, huh?
- Whoa!

Wow, look at this place.

- Oh, my gosh.
- Wow.

Everything is absolutely
perfect, you know.

It's so good.
We should move to big bear.

I don't know
if we should move there,

but I will tell you this.
Like, when you walk

into a beautiful cabin,
see the snow outside,

you see your kids smiling.

Whoa! Bunk bed.

Look at you.

It makes everything worth it.

Maddie wants to setu

she said, "I want
it mto see the hot tub."h it.

Oh, the hot tub
is right over here.

- In a nice, warm room.
- Whoa.

That is fantastic.

Look at this.

- I want up-up.
- You want up-up?

Okay, you want to see the water?

I'm not gonna put you in,

but you're gonna see the water.
Ready? One, two, three.

- It is hot in here.
- Yeah.

- Whoa!
- Whoa!

Whoa!

It's a hot tub.
Can you say "hot tub"?

- Hot tub.
- Every movie

that you've ever seen
that's like a ski trip

has the amazing hot tub,
am I wrong?

And...

- I got a hot blonde.
- Like, and she's usually...

- Let's make a movie.
- ...Skiing in a bikini.

Yeah, please do.

If you got it, flaunt it.
Let's go.

The neighbors
are gonna love that.

It's perfect. You go in here
and you jump in the water.

What?

In Montreal,

you go in the sauna,
and the steam opens your pore,

and then you just take
a chain saw

and then you just do a hole
outside in the water

- and then you go in it.
- No, you don't.

You go, "one, two, three, go."

No, you don't.

You're from Cleveland.
It's not that cold.

- It's cold, but...
- It's cold in Cleveland.

Where I'm from,
us, all the kids...

- I lived by lake Erie.
- Oh.

Okay. Uh, I lived by Alaska.

No, you don't.

Can I get a map here?

Because I don't think Alaska
is anywhere near mont...

Like, Cleveland's right here,

like, Montreal's, like,
right there.

And then...

...I think over here
would be Alaska.

If I'm not mistaken, Maryse.

It's literally froze over, babe.
Uh, you did not just do that.

We'll come back
when we have our jackets.

Who wants to build a snowman?!

It looks like a non-pg,
um, item.

All right, first off,
it's not done yet.

- We're-we're getting there.
- It-it's...

Put the carrot in.

- Good.
- Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oops.

Are you hungry?

- Hey, are the kids down?
- Yeah, they're sleeping.

- Perfect. I set it all up.
- What?

- Set up what?
- Whole training regimen.

- A what?
- Whole training regiment.

Why?

'Cause we got to train.
We got to get you ready.

- Now? Not now.
- Yeah.

Like, I need a moment.

- All right, take a moment.
- Like, I have two kids.

- I just put them down.
- Okay, ready?

- I was... Oh, my gosh, really?
- Let's move it.

I'm exhausted
just to look at you.

- Come on, Maryse.
- Oh, my gosh.

- Leave me alone, leave me alone.
- Come on, kid, come on.

You're gonna be spitting nails, kid.

You're gonna be eating thunder

and crapping lightning.

You got to believe.

You got to believe, mare...

That's what I'm talking about.

- That's the type of spirit I want.
- Well, I need to...

No, no, you don't need
to practice that on me.

I got other stuff
planned for you.

It's gonna be
like the movie rocky.

You're gonna be rocky.

Yeah, but I-I like Adrian,
so I'm just gonna be Adrian.

- No, okay, I like Adrian, too.
- You could be Ricky.

No, I'm Mickey. I'm the trainer.

- I'm the trainer, Maryse.
- That's what I said.

I'm the trainer.

You're gonna be like
Sylvester Stallone.

Sylvester Stallone?

- Yes.
- Does he have an accent?

Oh, my god, Maryse,
are you kidding me?

- No, that's Arnold Schwarzenegger.
- Oh, my god.

You saw all these movies
in French.

Does he sound like...

"Allo, oui, oui..."

- "Adrian!"
- Yes.

"Allo, oui, oui, Adrian."

You're gonna be eating thunder
and crapping lighting, kid.

Uh, I'm tired.
I'm gonna go take a nap.

You got to... No, no, no.
We are gonna go train.

Are you ready? You weren't...
Do you really want to train

- in those boots?
- That's the only shoes I have

because I wasn't coming here
to go train.

- I was coming here to chill.
- Are they heavy? Are they heavy?

- They're fine. They're boots.
- Good, perfect.

If they're heavy, they're good.
Get your jacket.

- Let's go on.
- Geez.

Ready?

All right.
First station, Maryse.

So, what I want you to do here

is I want you to chop
some wood, okay?

It's gonna help really build
some muscles and stuff.

So, first I'll show you how.
Boom. Just like that.

Let me set one up for you.
Here you go.

Okay. It's ready. Okay.

Can you take a picture
of me going like that?

Well, you-you're not gonna...
All right.

Station two. Station two.

Ready? Come on.
Let's jog over.

Come on, Maryse. Let's go.

Second one.
It's kind of the same motion.

We take our sledgehammer.

We're gonna hit
the wheel three times.

Then we're gonna
set it down, flip the tire.

Okay. Sledgehammer.

- I have my nails on.
- Okay, yeah, nails.

Maryse is the type
of person that,

when she's in something,
she's 110% in.

Next station.
We got it. Let's go.

Let's jog over to the next
station. Come on, Maryse.

But she hasn't been in the ring
in almost ten years.

So, now, this is fun.

We're going sled-riding.

Maybe there's a way
that I can show her that,

"look, we're mizanins.

We can go into our fears
and we can conquer anything."

Get in this. So... Okay.

I think we should
come back in the summer.

I think so, too, but, uh, right
now we're in training mode.

- Pull this sled.
- Hold on.

Pull this sled!

Come on, Maryse.

Grab on to this
and I want you to pull this.

Wait, no, no, not kicking me.

I don't want you to kick me,
I want you to pull, Maryse.

Maryse, I want you to...

That is not the training
that I-I wanted...

I have this-this rope.
All you got to do is just...

Maryse.

Maryse, okay.

Maryse. Maryse.

Maryse!

These boots are amazing.
See? They don't sink.

This is going great.

It's like... Speaking French...

Huh?

Oh, boy.

- It's really nice.
- Yeah.

It's beautiful, huh, Monroe?
Do you like it?

And we're in California.

Do you want to go sled-riding?

Building a snowman is one thing,

but going sled-riding
to see if they're scared

or if they want to go
down the big hill, like,

it's kind of exciting for us.

- Am I right?
- Mm-hmm.

They're sled-riding.

They're sled-riding.

Come on, Monroe.

Come on.

Ooh!

I don't think that's how
it's supposed to go.

Here you go.

- Ready? Ready, Maryse?
- Okay.

- You ready?
- Yeah.

Here we go!

Whoa! Whoa!

Oh!

Good job, roe-roe, you okay?

Again.

Again?
Okay, let's go again.

Okay, you want
to do it yourself?

Okay, go ahead.

My mind is going,

"is she gonna be okay?"
but my heart is going,

"this will make me really proud

if she can go down
this hill by herself."

Sure you want to go
by yourself?

- Yeah.
- You ready?

One, two,

three.

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

Oh, my gosh.

She's going up this hill
by herself,

going down the hill by herself,
and having a blast.

Oh, my gosh, watch this one.

Oh, my gosh, is she for real?

Oh, I want to see
this one really bad.

- Oh, my gosh, Michael.
- This is like a black diamond.

This is like a black diamond
for four-year-olds.

Oh, my gosh.

Here we go!

Oh,.

Oh, my gosh, watch this one.

Oh, my gosh, is she for real?

Oh, I want to see
this one really bad.

- Oh, my gosh, Michael.
- This is like a black diamond.

This is like a black diamond
for four-year-olds.

Here we go!

Oh,.

Somehow, someway

she turns and hits the only tree
in a ten-foot radius.

Give me a kiss. Are you okay?

And I'm like,

"oh, my gosh, I'm the worst
parent ever."

Oh, no. Oh, no.

You okay? Let me see.

I honestly... I want to tell
you, I was really proud of you.

Yeah, but you-you did
really good.

Th-those bumps you went over?

I was like, wow, that was...
Was that fun?

That was amazing.

- Yeah.
- You're a very strong girl, you know that?

You're very strong.

Oh, you want down? Okay.

Do you want to go back up?
You do?

This is what I'm talking about.

She's going back up.

She's going back up.
This is amazing.

It's like you dust yourself off,

you pick yourself up,
and you go up there.

I don't know about anyone else

or their parenting styles
or whatever,

but I'll tell you what,
when my daughter

bumps her head on a tree

and gets back up
and says, "I want to go again

and I want to prove to myself
that I can do this,"

that's, oh,

I-I was so proud,
so proud of her.

- She's gonna be a bad ass.
- Yes.

Like you're not gonna have
to get your gun out

when the boys come to the house.

No, she'll whup their ass.

- Roe-roe.
- Good job.

- See that?
- I'm watching.

I got to grow a pair now.
I'm her mommy, you know?

I'm looking at her bravery

and how she's not afraid
and it makes me kind of go,

"Maryse, what are you doing?"
'cause I'm, you know,

I'm nervous about
getting back in the ring.

- I haven't been...
- You really feel nervous

about getting
back in there, huh?

Yeah, I'm nervous.
I have two kids now.

- Yeah.
- I can't get hurt.

Times change.
Like, I'm not as crazy

and as wild as I used to be.

- I will be in... in that ring
- Thank you.

Right there with you.

I had no clue
you were feeling this way.

Like, I mean, Maryse,
you're Maryse.

Whatever you set your mind to,

you are always able
to succeed at it

because that's just who you are.

It's like, stop worrying
about this and that.

You've done it a million times,

just get right back
there and do it.

- And you're going to.
- Isn't that crazy?

'Cause I'm gonna be
right there by your side.

Well, that scares me
a little bit, like...

Like, honestly, no, whenever
you're feeling like,

maybe,
"I don't know what I'm..."

I'm gonna be right there.

We're gonna go kick some ass.

I'll show you how mizanins
conquer their fears.

Follow me.

Mike?

- Where are you going?
- You'll see.

We are going there.

Oh, no.

I've done a lot of stupid
things in my life.

This might be the stupidest.

The cold

is like my worst nightmare.

Like, this is the worst.

I hate being cold,
I hate freezing,

but any time we can put
our minds to something,

we can do it.
So, Maryse...

Oh, my god, Michael.

We can do anything.

I told you, Maryse,
we are mizanins!

We put our minds into something,
we can do anything!

Who's awesome?!

- Awesome!
- Awesome!

I'm awesome! Aah!

That is... Oh, my god.

Yeah. Yeah.

We've seen me do
a lot of stupid things.

This might take the cake.

- Oh-oh-oh. Wow.
- Are you okay?

That is... Oh.

- Are you okay?
- I'm okay.

- Why would you do that?
- It's on me. I'm... Oh, my god.

You know, you didn't,
you didn't have to do all that.

You know you had me at... At
the end of your speech, right?

You didn't have
to go all the way.

I-I don't go
in the water like this.

- You could have told me that.
- It's a Canadian thing,

- but I-I don't do that.
- Oh, my god.

What do you mean
you don't do that?

- That was pretty funny.
- You told me you did that.

You've never done
a polar plunge?

No.

You crazy?

I am so cold.
All right, we're going home.

We're going home.
Oh, my god, it's cold.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Okay, I want to try with Monroe.

Yeah, Monroe.
Here, Monroe, do mommy.

You got this. Yeah.

There it is.

It's time to train.
Like, we have...

I-I've set up everything
outside in the snow

for you to train, so we can
get ready for the royal rumble.

Like Ricky Balboa?

- Rocky. It's Rocky Balboa.
- That's what I said.

You got to believe.
You got to believe, mare.

Let's go, Maryse.

There you go. Yeah, yeah!

That's how it's done.

Yeah, that's right. Boom.

Trying to not break my nails.

Whoa, yeah!

You're gonna be
spitting nails, kid.

You're gonna be eating thunder
and crapping lighting.

- Lock up, lock up.
- Okay.

Boom, there it is.

Ready.

It's hard.

Here, hit it.

All day.

Yeah!

Maryse!

Aah!

All right.

This is the final one.

You need speed in the ring.

Are you ready? Go.

Go, pumpkin, go, go, go, go.
Get her. Get her, Maryse.

- Get her, Maryse.
- Really?

Get her!

I got her!

The training was hard,

but it-it's fun. I remember...

It makes me remember
why I love this.

Yeah!

Yeah!

She got her.

We're gonna make s'mores.

Good.

Now, mash it in.

I want to...

- Is it good?
- You take it, you cut it in a half.

Is it good?

No?

- Take a bite, chew. Chew.
- I'm telling you,

they're French.
My kids are French.

- Chew.
- Totally French.

They're good.

- Oh, my god.
- They're good.

- You want that chocolate?
- Madison's taking the chocolate.

- Did you, did you want to eat that?
- She's my daughter.

- Okay, of course it is. That's wonderful.
- Definitely my genetic.

I think it was fun.

Absolutely.
We trained, we relaxed.

We-we did a little bit of
everything that we wanted to do.

I think the girls
really enjoyed themselves.

They saw snow
for the first time.

We made s'mores that...

I don't even know how
a kid can not like s'mores,

but our kids don't.

Well, I-I didn't even know
what a s'more was

- till... until you told me.
- Come on, smalls.

You're killing me.
You're killing me, smalls.

Hey.

- You make me laugh.
- Why?

'Cause you were just staring.
It's like you're doing a...

It's peaceful, it's nice.

- It's, like, quiet.
- No, it's a GQ magazine.

It was...
Wait, here's my GQ pose.

Where are the kids?

- Where are the girls?
- They're sleeping.

What are you trying to do?

I'm trying
to take you over there.

In the hot tub.

- You want to go in the hot tub right now?
- Yes.

Oh, okay. Like,
all you have to do is say...

I'll come to you.

That's my fantasy.
Like, that's what I want.

I think you deserve

a little treat.

Oh, boy.

- Wow, it's hot.
- I know.

Here we go, ready?

Boom! That's how it's done.

To an incredible trip.

That lake had to be

really, really freezing.

- It was cold.
- I can't believe you did that.

So, if the shrinkage is so much

when you go in the cold,

what does the hot tub do, then?

- Why don't you find out?
- Oh.

Out, now. Go. Go. Go.

You, out.

Let's go. Bye, bye.

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