Miz & Mrs. (2018–…): Season 3, Episode 6 - Back to Miz-ness - full transcript

Roe-roe, can you fold this one?.

- She's like...
- Monroe.

- You fold that one!
- Fold that one.

- A lot of clothes, huh?
- Yes, a lot of clothes.

Since I've been eliminated
from dancing with the stars,

it's nice to be home.

- Yep, that was my eye.
- Oh, Mike..

Oh. That was my other eye..

But this week,
I'm going back to WWE,

so it's a little bittersweet
because, you know,

I love being a WWE superstar,



but I also love being
with my family all the time.

I dare you. One more time..

One more time. Oh!.

- Oh! Oh!
- Oh, my god, oh, my god.

Daddy's got her. Daddy's got her..

Oh! Come on, you a little rusty?

I got her, roe-roe.

I don't think you want a piece
of this. It's been a while

- since you've been in the ring.
- Oh, excuse me.

- It's been a while since you, uh...
- Excuse me.

...Since you've grappled
a little bit.

I got her. I got her.

Okay.

- Who's rusty now?
- Okay.



Normally, my head

between maryse's legs
would turn me on,

but seeing my life
flash before my eyes...

- How you feeling, Mike?
- I am not feeling great.

I can't breathe.

Are you tapping?

WWE's it family.

Mike, are you kidding me?

We are awesome!

Okay, what happened?
Did you get paint on your shirt?

That's okay. It's okay.
What you got over here?

- Whoa. Look at all this.
- I know. It's okay.

Were you painting? Yeah?

- I...
- Can I paint with you? Would that be okay?

No, you stay up... that m...
It gives me anxiety.

- What's going on?
- Um, I just got a phone call.

- Okay.
- John cone. WWE.

- Okay.
- You won't believe it.

Hi, Maryse. How are you?

- Hi. Is everything okay?
- How you doing?

When's the last time we talked
to each other?.

No, everything's going great.

Oh, no..

It's okay, baby. It's okay.

And then he goes,
"what about you come back

with Mike as the it couple
this Monday?"

- They want me back.
- I like this, but what capacity?

- What-what are we talking about here?
- Miz and Mrs.

Being the villains together

- that we are.
- We can do that.

No wrestling.

That's amazing.

Monday. They want me Monday.

And with the girls, it...
I have kids now.

- Yeah.
- Like, I can't just leave, like...

Oof, this is like...

I never thought I would be back.
Do you know what I mean?

- Yeah.
- I had a kid, a second one.

- That was like...
- Okay.

Look, honestly, like,

the it couple
being back is pretty amazing.

- My career was never...
- I know, Mike.

- Like, was never better when...
- But man, we got kids now.

- ...Until you were there.
- Oof.

There's always some nerves

when you're going back to WWE.

But having you there by my side,

like, I feel like we can
take on anything and anyone.

Wh... hold on a minute.
I have to think about this.

- You're not excited?
- I am super excited.

But I have different
priorities now. My kids.

We have always
figured out everything.

We can figure it out again.

Honestly, like, I think
this is a good thing.

Of course, like,
the maryse wants... I love it.

I-I love it.
I mean, this is amazing.

But it's bittersweet.

I'm the type of mom that has
to be hands-on with everything,

so there's a part of me

that feels guilty by saying yes,
and if I don't say yes,

I feel like I'm letting down
another part of me

that's-that's excited about it.

I'm gonna change her shirt right
now. I'm gonna clean her up.

You worry about that,
think about that.

Get your mind straight.

- It couple, baby.
- Oh, my god.

There's a lot that goes through
coming back to WWE.

First and foremost,
I need to gain my weight back.

Like, I lost 15 pounds
on dancing with the stars.

Got to bulk up.

Secondly, I need to figure out
my gear, my character.

Also, tan's got to be on point,
because once you have a tan,

then you got the ripped muscles.

And I don't know why, I'm a
little nervous, like, two months

- I've been gone from WWE. Two months.
- It's never been

- that long before.
- That's the longest I've ever been gone.

I don't think anyone's
ever been that, like...

What's the longest
you've been gone?

Six weeks, tops.

Did you feel like
you were going to, like,

- not know what you were doing?
- I was scared to death.

Yeah, that's-that's...

- That's where I'm at right now.
- But you're gonna be fine.

I don't know if the miz magic is
just gonna show right up

or is it gonna need some
warming up, some practice?

Some-some reps, if you will.

When you throw on the miz gear
and you look in the mirror,

- it happens, and then that...
- Oh, speaking of which,

I got new gear coming.

- Ordered some new stuff?
- Oh, yeah.

- Anything good?
- Th... yes.

I'm gonna look
like a mirror ball.

Like, I didn't win
the mirror ball,

- but I'm gonna look like one.
- I get it.

You have a tanning thong?

- Why is that funny?
- You...

Yes, I have a tanning thong.

I don't know
what the big deal is

with my tanning thong.

It's not, like, not a thing.

It's a thing.
Isn't it normal?

Not wear a thong, no.

If dolph wants tan lines,
more power to him.

Honestly, I think
it looks better

when I have golden brown buns.

I mean, that is...

Hi..

- You look so good, mom.
- Thanks, thanks.

You always look great.

- Like, you...
- That-that mommy stress..

Basketball games
and cooking dinner.

Right? Is Nick crazy?

Tamina has been with WWE
for 12 years.

Tamina now absolutely furious.

Straight to the Samoan drop.

She has kids. She has babies.

So it's nice for me
to have someone to talk to

that understands being a mom

and being a working mom
in this business.

So, I got the phone call
from WWE, and they're like,

"can you come back
with Mike?" and I'm like,

- "hold on a minute."
- It's hard, I know that,

- and I know it's hard to leave the girls sometimes.
- It's...

Especially having
to go back on the road.

It's one of those things where
I'm... I-I haven't said yes yet,

I'm thinking about it.

It's not very easy to go
and have babies

and then you come back
and then you wrestle

and you do what we do,
but it's like,

I feel like
we are changing that.

You still got goals and dreams
that you still got to finish up

sometimes I feel like moms
will forget who they are.

- Right.
- Those girls are gonna look up to you

and they're gonna see
how their mama is.

You'll be a better person
and your kids will see

that you're a better,
happier mom.

Tamina, she
puts things in perspective.

I don't like leaving my girls.

But at the same time, I guess,
I guess I get to find myself

and that's good for your kids,
it's good for your family.

We miss having you around,
so that's good, like,

bring yo ass to work..

Well, okay. If...

Your butt still look good
in your frickin' bling-bling...

- Yeah!
- ...Outfit.

I just need to get, like...

Do you say, "ducks in order"?

Yeah.

Maddie.

- Hi...
- Monroe?

You want to help me?

Madison, there's this one,
these are little sparkles.

And you put them on my jacket...
That's mommy... that's my jacket.

And I wear that
when I go to work.

And then you can put more here.
You see?

You can put more there, too.

Look, I'm gonna
show you something.

Madd... mad die,
check this out. Monroe.

- Look, it's mommy and daddy.
- Awesome!

You were not born, guys.

This is mommy and daddy
at wrestlemania 33.

- The miz!
- ♪ I came to play ♪

♪ I guess you had a dream,
but it can't be saved ♪

♪ I'm here to stay,
best get out of my way... ♪

- Mommy and dadda.
- That's dadda.

I don't think my girls
really understand

the whole scenario
that comes around

what we really do for a living.

We used to travel the world
along together.

Maryse

and the miz!

We had that whole life before.

They're very young now,
but I feel like

in a few years,
they'll understand,

then they'll be
traveling with us.

Monroe, can you do that,
with your hand?

- Yeah.
- Show me how you do it.

Like that?

There you go.

Mommy is going back to work.

We're gonna be live on TV.

I'm doing this for dadda.

I'm going back there. You see?.

And I'll stay here?

Well, you stay here
with grand mama marjo.

Oh.

I try and convince myself...

...That it's okay to leave

- for work.
- It's okay.

- And it's a good thing.
- You're allowed to leave.

It's-it's good to show my girls
that I work.

But it's just that first mt
when you leave

that's gut-wrenching.

Hey, Monroe, mad die,
are you gonna watch

mommy and daddy on TV?

- Uh-huh.
- Yeah? Madison doesn't care.

Madison's just like,
"I'm getting this stuff ready.

- I'm getting her ready."
- Boom!

The it couple is back, baby.

Are you ready for this
and this and this and this?

Ha. Oh, man. You excited?

I feel like I'm a little more
excited than you are.

Are you gonna be okay?
With the girls.

Mom, are you gonna be all right?

- Okay.
- Hi.

All right, we got to go.

I got to pack the bag up.
We got to go.

- Do you have everything...
- Bye, baby.

Love you guys.

Love you guys. Love you guys.

I hate leaving my kids.
Absolutely hate it.

Give me a kiss.

Mwah, mwah, mwah.

But I know I made
the right decision,

because I love my job...
I wouldn't even call it a job.

And it's good for us

to kind of get out of the house
and be together and do

- what we love to do together.
- Yeah.

- So...
- Like, we can actually have a conversation

where it's not like,
"mama, dadda, mama, dadda."

Picture! Look.

Cheese..

It was actually pretty nice,
on the plane, I got to say.

I had a book, and I was reading
an actual adult book,

not a kids' book.

Sometimes it's nice to get away.
It's nice to have quiet time.

Usually, when I take a shower,
my kids are either

In the shower with me or...

It's like, it's nice
to take a shower by myself.

And with me.

I-I am feeling a little anxious
about my gear,

- because I don't know how it's gonna look out there.
- Your gear looks gorgeous.

- It looks incredible.
- Yeah, I know, but it's-it's a lot.

I went a little smaller,
so it's more of a g-string feel.

But when I take three steps,
it just goes

right in my butt crack
and it's like,

it's getting swallowed up.

It does get swallowed
in that butt.

As in, like, it's a good...
It's a compliment.

When I put mine on,
they never get lost in my butt.

So why don't you just go
for what I have?

No. We don't have the same butt.

Like, my butt
is more like a f...

Like, a female, plump,
round, juicy...

Your butt is more like...
It's not furry, for sure.

- It's...
- Are you trying to tell me I have a flat ass?

- No. I'm not saying that your...
- I do not have a fl...

This is not a flat ass, all right?

- This... there is, there is roundness to it.
- It's...

It's not concave.

I mean, it's a squat butt,
like, I squat.

- Yeah. Okay...
- I have squats, like, what are you talking about?

You have the same... Madison
has the same butt as you.

What are you t...
I-I have a grown man's butt.

Uh, why are we discussing this
right now?

You look amazing in your outfit,
I look amazing in my outfit,

it's gonna be an amazing debut.

I've missed, like,
the live crowd,

and I can't wait
to get out there

and feel that energy again.

It's big. Like, it's... I...
It's what, 15, 20,000 people?

- Yeah.
- It's a lot of people.

- Yeah.
- And you know, another thing is,

I don't know if I can
be that bitch.

I've been a mom for so long,
I-I don't know.

Oh, you can be a mean girl.

You have no problem
being a mean girl.

N-not in that way. No, like...

You have no problem being mea...

N-n... I meant that
in the nicest form possible.

The good thing about
being in New York

is that they love
to hate bad guys.

- Are we still bad guys?
- I don't know.

- I guess we'll find out.
- I mean, I was cheesing

as much as I possibly could
on dancing with the stars.

- You know? And now I'm gonna come back and go...
- I don't know.

- Like, what are they gonna do?
- You know what? Sometimes,

it depends on who
you're coming out with.

Well, I'm coming out with
you, so, I mean, -okay, well...

Obviously, I'm gonna
be a bad guy.

Or maybe a good guy.

They're gonna be like,
"oh, my god,

- we missed her."
- like, I don't even know.

It's been,
like, four or five years

since we went out
into a WWE ring

together as the it couple.

Combined together,

we're the it couple.

Because everyone
wants to be just like us.

Mike and I together, it's like
old friends that haven't talked

or seen each other for 20 years,
and then they get together

and it's like
they were never apart.

- We're together all the time.
- Yeah, I know, I know. It's just...

- What are you talking about, "old friends"?
- It's just a story.

Like, we're not old friends.

Like, when we're together
out there,

I instantly just feel better,
I do better,

us together as the it couple,

I mean, there is nothing
that can stop us.

I don't know how they'll react.
I really don't.

It's-it's nerve-racking.

If they're not into it,
they'll let you know.

"Get the . Out.".

Yeah. I don't, I don't
want that today.

Welcome, everyone,

to the ubs arena
in long island, New York.

Here we go.

Did you watch me
on dancing with the stars?

You did?

- Aw.
- You guys are awesome.

Cheer for me. Don't boo me.

- Class act. Thank you so much.
- Thank you. Of course.

- Oh, maryse!
- Look at this.

- Hi. - Hey.
- What?!

- Hey! - How the hell are you?
- Good, I'm good. I'm great.

- I love this jacket.
- Oh, my gosh, your jacket. - Hey. Hey.

- How are the kids? H....
- Hello. Hi.

- Bro. Bro.
- Hi.

It feels amazing
to be back. Uh,

it never changed, even though
I'm gone for a few years,

when I come back,
it's still the same.

- It's crazy.
- Hey!

- Oh!
- Get it, get it.

Someone's got a baby girl. He's
got a baby girl, by the way.

- That's true.
- Hi.

What's up, dude?
Congratulations.

- Thank you so much.
- Hey, girl.

You put, like, what we learn
here into dancing.

- No, I'm proud of you, really. Really, you did so good.
- Oh, thank you.

Are you wrestling tonight?
I'm so confused.

- Not tonight.
- Not wrestling tonight.

- We're back. Yeah.
- Eventually? You're back?

Oh, I mean, it's just a little,
like....

- It's a little tidbit for you.
- It's just a little...

- What are you doing?
- Nothing.

I'm just gonna, just gonna...
You know.

Do you want to wrestle me?
We can wrestle.

We can have two re-debuts at once.

Just-just...
I'll wrestle you right now.

- I'll wrestle you right now.
- Oh, my god, I would love to.

I'm just gonna come out
and she'll just...

- "boom" behind me, like...
- Yeah, I... let's go.

Oh, my god.

Being a WWE superstar,

it's like being a rock star,
a movie star

and a professional athlete

all together..

There's no other job...

And I don't like to call it
a job... but there's nothing...

- Quite like it.
- ...Similar like this.

In all of entertainment.

Nice, nice, nice, nice, nice.

Three, two, one. Good.
Guys, just open yourself up

to the camera just a little bit.
There you go.

It's organized chaos,

and we do really well with that.

Hi, beautiful.

Do you want me
to read you a book?

You do?

I feel brave.

"Here are some of the feelings
you might have:

Lonely, brave, scared and kind."
look at that.

- You see that?
- It's nice. "What is being brave?

"It is when you do something
even though

it might seem scary at first."

Ooh. Wow.

You know, there comes a time
in life where you go,

"wow, this is... I love this."

- Mm-hmm.
- And I can be a mom and-and take care of my girls

and I can still do
what I love to do,

- and we have technology.
- We can actually see them and they can see us

through a video,
which is incredible.

Love you. Mm...

- Mwah.
- Okay, bye.

- All right, see? And you feel good?
- Yep.

- Can we go? - Yep.
- 30 seconds.

Quiet backstage, please.

I don't necessarily get

anxious and nervous
in a negative way,

it's more of an excitement,
because it's a live crowd,

you don't know how
they're going to react to you,

what you say, what you do.

I could get all
of these people to scream...

That's the beauty of it.

The count of three: "miz sucks."

One, two, three.

Miz sucks!

Miz sucks! Miz sucks!

Oh, my god, oh, my god,
oh, my god...

- Awesome!
- Could it be?

♪ I came to play... ♪

Oh, oh, yes!

This is like Christmas
came early!

The miz has tangoed back to raw

and brought his stunning,
beautiful, talented wife maryse.

We're good parents,

and we know that.
But we're great performers,

and we do well together.

And I'm just glad
that I actually accepted

to come back and I said yes.

- We got "welcome back" chants.
- Was...

I was not expecting that.

I was expecting to get booed
out of the building.

She puts the Mrs.
In miz and Mrs.

My wife maryse is back!

But I thought you were still

painting yourself
like a genie and dancing.

My husband was actually
the most entertaining,

the most charismatic
and the best dancer

on that whole show.

Want to dance with me?

Want to dance?
You want to see us dance?

No.

To perform in front

of a live audience, like,
you miss that, just, feeling.

This is huge
and I couldn't be more happy.

- You were swell. You were swell.
- Did I do okay? Did I do okay?

Man, that outfit is tight.

It looks... trust me,
it looks, it looks tight.

Hi!.

- Goofy! Hi, beautiful.
- Hi!

- Oh, where's beautiful?
- Hi.

- Madison.
- Baby! My baby.

Hi, beautiful. How are you guys?
Oh, how are you?

No matter how big the crowd
reacts to you,

there's nothing bigger
than seeing your kids run to yo

and give you that hug.

- Did you sleep okay?
- Yeah.

It felt like we never left.
I'm proud of you.

I'm glad you're back now.

- Yay.
- Wait, is this...

What are we doing?.

Are we running around?

Are we running around?.

With all my dresses,

it's ridiculous.

- Have you seen that?
- Oh, yeah.

- It's either I wear it like this.
- I like it like that.

Which is completely
not appropriate...

It-it's very appropriate
for where I'm sitting.

By the way, your outfit

at raw was incredible.

Like, they looked amazing in it.

Wrestling full-time
with this rack,

it's a job on it's... on its own,
because it's a pg show.

Make sure you don't
go anywhere...

You said "wrestling,"
by the way.

Are we thinking about
coming back?

Is that what we're doing?

Like, physically
getting in there

and throwing people around.

No. I'm not going back
in the ring, I'm not wrestling.

- It's not gonna happen.
- They want it.

- The audience wants it.
- They want it... good for them.

Mike, I broke my knee,
I broke my back. My teeth.

- My nose. I'm not...
- The audience wants it.

- I'm fine. I'm healthy.
- I guarantee everyone backstage wants it.

WWE superstars want it.

Fine, you don't want to go
in the ring? That's fine.

What about in the bed?

I'm just saying.

- Big Mike's always looking for the action.
- Eh... Ugh.

You just said that,
and I just physically, visually,

saw me put your.
Into a hold.

Wait, what?

I literally put your.
Into a hold.

Oh, I thought you said in a "hole.".

You said a "hold."

Oh....

I mean, I don't know if it's...

You know, when they say
the brain

is connected to, um...

- The other brain?
- ...Direct access to...

They just are twins.

- I don't know. They just, uh...
- Two peas in a pod.

- So your balls are the peas...
- They're the two... no.

- ...And the pod is...
- No... well-well, they... two boulders, uh...

- You know. Big...
- I don't like that word.

Look, fine, that-that's-that's
the n-that's the negotiation.

If you ever want to put me
in a hold, I am all for it.

You don't have to do anything
in the ring, but in that bed...

You can wear the outfit, too.

'Cause you looked sexy
in that thing, oh, my goodness.

Ooh, yeah, baby.

Very hot.

Next on miz & Mrs...

- See the puppy?
- Luppy right here.

Michael mizanin, I want a dog.

- Oh, wow, this is a beauty.
- Oh, wow.

This is Bentley.
She's just doing a little

- bit of play with a tug.
- That's play?

Do you do the bite suits?

- Yes, we wear the bite suits.
- What's it feel like?

I can arrange it.

aah! Oh,..