Melrose Place (1992–1999): Season 3, Episode 27 - A Hose by Any Other Name - full transcript

Hello.

Ooh... Amanda, it's Michael.
Don't hang up.

I have nothing more
to say to you, Michael.

Look. All right.
Then just listen?

I know you've been avoiding me.

Maybe you don't think
I'm sincere, but I am.

I honestly love you, and I
can't accept losing you.

Well, you're gonna
have to accept it

because that's the way it is.

Good-bye. I mean it.

Good morning, Michael.



What do you want?

Do you happen to know
where Kimberly is?

I have some forms
from one of her patients

she's been needing to sign
for over a week.

I don't know, Matt.

She's probably living
under a freeway somewhere.

I don't care!

I'm just glad she's gone!

Man: Come on, Shaw!

Get the lead out! Let's go!
Let's go! Let's go!

Come on, you wimps, move it!

You want to be victims
all your life?

Come on, move it!
Move it! Move it! Move it!

Come on, Shaw!



Get up off your butt!

Move it! Move it!
Move it! Move it!

Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go! Let's go!

Get the lead out! Let's go!
Let's go! Let's go!

Maureen, she's behind you.

Unh!

Now, you listen to me, Shaw.

You're in
No More Victims camp now.

You will not stop.
You will not give up.

You will succeed, and you will
be stronger than you ever were

when you walk out of here.

No More Victims means control,

it means strength,

and it means never, ever letting another
human being get you down again.

You got that?

You got that?

I got that.

I got that.

Good.

Jess, what's going on?

I'm packing.

I was up all night thinking
about last night, and, uh...

and I think it's time
I get out of here.

It's obvious you don't
want me around,

and I don't blame you.

If I didn't trust somebody,

I wouldn't want them
around, either.

Hey, take it easy! You
don't have to go anywhere.

I'm going back to Ellensburg.

I'm a dead-end guy, Jake.

I belong in a dead-end town.

I don't know why
I didn't trust you last night.

I'm sorry, man, you know?

We just got off
on the wrong foot.

Maybe... or maybe it's just me.

Jake, I got so many
regrets, man.

I always wanted to
protect you, you know,

be a big brother to you.

But somehow,
the roles got reversed.

And now...

all I want in the whole world

is for you to trust me.

Hey. I got a late meeting
tonight with my tax guy.

I need someone I can trust
to cover the bar.

Can you do that for me? Sure.

Good! So you're staying? Thanks.

OK. Forget about it.
Come on, let's go.

There were 12 messages for you
on the voicemail this morning,

all from a Michael Mancini?

Ohh. This guy is
driving me nuts.

If he calls back,
transfer him to security.

Done.

Uh, Brooke.
Do you have a minute?

Yeah.

You and I have to turn up the
heat on our Alison project.

Her days of playing
president are over.

I want my office back,
yesterday.

I don't know what else
we can do.

Oh, we can destroy her,
that's what.

I mean, anyone
as incompetent as she is

had to have made some mistakes.

I want you to check her schedule,
her files, everything.

Find me something I can
blow her away with.

OK, but I've got to tell you,

I don't feel great about this.

Alison has been good to me.

Brooke, she's using you.

Stick with me, and you
might have a future.

With my experience
and your family connections,

we could build
something big together.

Or you could spend your
life trotting after Alison

with your steno pad.

You're right.

Good. Then get to it.

Damn it, Brooke, would
you get it together?

You're not working
for your daddy anymore.

Uh... Amanda, I know that
starting at the bottom again

is putting you
under a lot of stress,

but don't take it out on Brooke.

Why not? She's there.

I can't send the fabric
back to you.

It's already cut and sewn.

Wait. Look. Look.

You are my best suppliers.

I promise I will have a check out
to you by the end of the day.

Yes, you have my word.
Thank you.

Hey, Jane. How's it going?

What do you want, Syd?

Come on. That's no way
to talk to your sister.

I just wanted to
take you to lunch.

I really can't. I'm swamped.

And I could use some
help buying a new car.

I was thinking about
one of those

cute, little Jaguar
convertibles.

Yeah, right, in your dreams.

I have ways of making my
dreams come true, Jane.

I don't have time for this.
I've got work to do.

Too bad you don't have the money

to get the work to the stores.

I, however, got 100 grand
from Michael and Kimberly.

What?

I caught them doing
things to each other

they shouldn't have,

and they threw all
kinds of money at me

to keep my mouth shut.

You're making this up.

Blackmail is
a growth industry, Jane,

especially when you're
dealing with snakes.

Now, I would waste
this considerable sum

on senseless luxury items,

unless there was some struggling
young company somewhere

I could invest in?

Are you sure you have this
money free and clear?

You bet your ready-to-wear I do.

This is my lawyer's office.

If you want my help, meet
me there in the morning.

We'll draw up some papers.

Ciao.

In conclusion, gentlemen,

I am reinvigorating client
relationships across the board,

and this week will present
a new campaign

to Mrs. Molly's Cookies,

one of the lynchpin accounts
of the agency's.

D and D is again
on the offensive

and moving into the future
with confidence.

All the best, et cetera,
et cetera,

Alison Parker, president.

Make sure that this gets
messengered over

along with the quarterly report
to every member of the board.

OK?

Right away.

Oh, and Tyler Hirsch,
C.E.O. Of Mrs. Molly's Cookies,

will be here in two days
for our presentation.

So tell Billy to be in here
early tomorrow

to go over everything we have.

Will do.

I've got something.

Alison is meeting with Tyler Hirsch of Mrs.
Molly's Cookies

day after tomorrow.

And?

My dad knew Tyler's father.
There's a story there.

Later. Ahem.

See? I'm being nice to her.

Oh. Good.

Amanda's voice:
Hi. I can't come to the phone.

So do what you do
after the beep. Thanks.

Amanda, come on.
I know you're there.

Now, pick up.

Come on. You can't keep
avoiding me like this.

Come on. I care about you.

I cared about you.

I gave up everything.
I mean, get real.

I saved your damn life.

Now, stop playing with me,

and pick up the phone!

You know, I can't put
up with this from you.

Do you understand me?

I can't! I won't!

Man: Wilshire Memorial.

Hello. Oncology, please.

I'll connect you.

Oncology clinic. May I help you?

Hi. This is Amanda Woodward.

I have an appointment with Dr.
Stevens tomorrow.

May I speak with him, please?

I'm afraid he's left
for the day.

If this is an emergency,
I can page him.

No, but tell Dr. Stevens
that I want to make sure

that Dr. Michael Mancini
is not at this checkup.

I don't want to be
bothered by him.

Well, this is a private
appointment,

and we'll do our best
to keep it that way.

Just make sure that Mancini's not there.
Understand?

And tell Dr. Stevens I
want to file a complaint.

Hey, Jo. This is
a pleasant surprise.

What can I get you?

Oh, a beer would be fine. OK.

Is Jake around?

Ah, no, actually, he's working
on his taxes tonight.

But listen. I wanted to
let you know that, uh,

Jake and I patched
things up this morning

after what happened
at dinner and everything.

Oh, good.
I was worried about that.

Yeah, I know you were.

That's what so great about you.

You give a damn.

I mean, look. You really
helped me out with Jake.

You didn't have to.

It wasn't that big a deal.

To me it was.

All right. Then you're welcome.

You know what? Maybe we
should try dinner again.

And this time, maybe it
should just be the two of us.

Oh, I don't know, Jess.

Well, Jake had mentioned
that you two

weren't seeing each
other anymore, so...

He said that?

Honestly...

I brought it up.

Look.

I'm just a regular guy who...

happens to think
you're incredible.

Just think about it, OK?

OK.

Sergeant: Come on, move it.

Get that hill.

Come on, now.

Forward, halt!

Whoa.

Right face. Huh!

All right, ladies.

No More Victims
means just that...

No More Victims.

Now, you've given me
two weeks of your old life

so that you can go back into
your new life with courage

and without fear,

with confidence

and without doubt,

and with the physical
strength and stature

to stand up to anyone
who means you harm

and scream,

"I'm not a victim anymore!"

Let's hear it! Scream it!

All: I'm not a victim anymore!

I'm not a victim anymore!

I'm not a victim anymore!

I'm not a victim anymore!

I'm not a victim anymore!

I'm not a...

All right, Shaw.
All right, Shaw.

That's good. Thanks, Shaw.
Heh heh heh!

That's enough. OK.

Let's pair up
and do our takedown exercises.

Let's go! Move it!

Well, look who's left:

The skinny little doctor.

You want to try
and take me down?

I'm game.

Hunh!

Not bad.

But I'm a whole lot badder.

All right, ladies.
Watch your intensity.

Come on. Get up.

You're on the same team here.

You're doing very well, Amanda...

As a matter of fact, much
better than we expected.

You're well on your way
to a full recovery.

Well, Dr. Stevens, you may
not have expected it,

but I certainly did.

Now, I hope you can help
me with another problem.

Yes. I understand
you have a complaint?

I am being harassed by one of
the doctors on staff here...

Michael Mancini.

I want it stopped.

That's unfortunate.

He's your referring physician.

There's really nothing I can do.

I suggest you contact the
chief of staff, Dr. Hobbs.

Well, if he's anything like the
last chief of staff, Peter Burns,

I doubt he'd be much help.

I'm sorry. That's the
best I can offer,

unless you want
to go to the police.

One of these days, I'm gonna sue
the hell out of this hospital.

Hmm. Again, you're doing well.

We'll see you again
in two weeks.

Dr. Stevens,
is there something else?

You get the hell out of here,

or I swear to God
I'll scream bloody murder.

Shh! Please, Amanda,
come on, now.

I had to see you.

I never felt this way
about anybody.

I know you must
feel something for me.

Please, Amanda.

Unh! Ohh!

The only reason I put up
with you for this long

is because you helped me
when I was sick.

Now, you have two seconds, or
I'm calling the nurse in here,

and your reputation is ruined.

Oh, for God's sake!

That's right, Amanda,
I'm begging you.

You see? I'm at your mercy.

All I ask from you is a chance,

a chance to prove that
I can be good for you.

Michael, this is
beyond embarrassing.

If you ever had any dignity...

I don't care about that. All
I want is you to love me.

Get up, you slime,
and get out of here.

You disgust me.

All right. OK, I'll leave.

But I know what's wrong here.

You think I'm the old Michael,

trying to play for some
advantage or something,

but I'm not... You'll see.

No, I don't ever want to see
or hear from you again.

Jane: Uh... I don't understand.

This says Sydney becomes
president of Mancini Designs?

Mmm. We feel that's
the best way for her

to protect her sizeable
investment in the company.

Sydney, you don't know
anything about designing.

Jane, I know
a good deal about design.

But out of courtesy to you,

I'll let you keep
your sphere of influence.

I'll just run the business end.

You know even less about that!

Oh, unless you count
running a call girl ring.

Don't tick me off, Jane.

I'm trying to save
your pathetic, little butt.

Ah, there's no need
for us to lose our tempers.

The proposal's quite simple,
really.

If you want Ms. Andrews
to invest her money

in your company,

you agree to her terms.

If not...

You'll go bankrupt.

I'm only trying to help, Jane.

Just don't.

Mrs. Molly's stock in trade
has always been familiarity

and product trust.

Consequently, as you can see,

the campaigns over the last
5 to 10 years

hardly changed at all.

The challenge is to be
innovative...

Hey, all.

Thought I'd join you.

I'm sorry, Amanda.

I really don't need you
at this meeting.

Oh, well, that's too bad

because I really
know this client,

and I'd like to help,

but if you don't
want me in here...

Come on. It's a key campaign.

We can use all the help
we can get.

All right, Amanda. Have a seat.

But I'm running this meeting.

Oh, absolutely.

As I was saying...

the approach I feel
we should take

is conservative
and family-oriented as before,

but with a little more energy.

The child in the stressed-out
modern world comes home

to Mrs. Molly's cookies
in the kitchen,

taking him and us
back to a simpler time...

Tom Sawyer, neighbors, warmth.

May I say something?

I can't see how
I would stop you.

Well, recently, the son of
the founder of the company

has taken the reins,

and I think we should appeal
to his youthful new energy

and his new line of
fat-free cookies.

The Tom Sawyer idea can encomp...

Hear me out.

A young, vibrant female executive
opens her desk drawer,

only to find that her bag of Mrs.
Molly's fat-free cookies is empty.

So, spying a Mrs. Molly's
delivery truck 15 floors below,

the executive,
desperate for the only cookie

that can satisfy her hunger,

leaps out of her window,
diving into the truck below.

And the announcer is saying,

"There is no wrong time to dive into Mrs.
Molly's fat-free cookies."

I'm sorry, Amanda.
Not in a million years.

We are going with
the Tom Sawyer idea.

Billy, you and Amanda go see if you
can come up with some variations

on that theme,

and have them in my office
by end of day.

Can't blame a girl for trying.

You know, I don't have
a lot of experience,

but I don't know, maybe you
should try Amanda's approach.

Brooke, leave it alone.

Alison, I don't like Amanda

any better than you do,

but you're trying to take D
and D in new directions,

and just because
the idea was Amanda's

doesn't make it a bad one.

I just think that there are
times to hedge your bets

and there are times
to break new territory.

I know, Brooke,

and usually I'm the one
with the wild ideas,

but this just
doesn't feel right.

Maybe that's because you're
in the president's chair now.

Don't let that inhibit you.

Heck, all Mrs. Molly
can do is say no.

Tell you what,

why don't you give it
some thought,

and we'll talk about it tonight
at Shooters after work?

All right.

But without Amanda.

That's a deal.

Jo: I didn't even know these places
existed in the city anymore.

Yeah, well, leave it
to a small-town boy

to find small-town pleasures,
even in the big city.

That's your turn, my dear.

Now, see, the trick
to this thing is, uh,

don't pay attention to
the big clown head there

or to the Dutch boy back here

that's doing something
illegal with his finger.

Thanks for the tip.

This is fun.

Yeah.

Yeah, I tell you,
I'm a pretty simple guy.

I don't need much.

To me, having it all
is the excitement

of being committed
to one person...

You know, having
something that lasts.

The main reason Jake and I never
really got along

was because he was always putting
up a wall around his emotions.

Will you shut up?
I'm trying to putt here.

Sorry.

We won't count that...
That's clown distraction.

I wasn't looking at the clown.

I was thinking about the
dirty little Dutch boy.

No, I'm talking
about this clown.

I'm sorry. I... I talk too much.

I like the way you talk.

God, you're so
different from Jake,

it's hard to believe
you guys are brothers.

Yeah, I know.

I guess I just feel too much.

It's just that...

emotion is a wave
between people.

It's passion.

And when it rises up,
you just...

you got to catch it,
and you got to feel it.

Jess, I don't think that I...

You know what?

I think I should show you
how to handle your club.

OK?

OK. Come on.

Come here. Here you go.

Just set the club down.

See? Get it down and relaxed.

Yeah. OK. Now take
it back gently.

Take it back gently.

And then a step.

That wasn't bad, was it?

I'm not gonna let that
get in my way.

Everything OK at this table?

You guys get rowdy,

I'm gonna have to throw you out.

Jake Hanson,
this is Brooke Armstrong.

Brooke just joined D and D.

Nice to meet you.

Likewise.

Well, I'd better
get back to my bar.

I'm shorthanded.

I'll see you.

You know... Jake's available.

Just on the off chance
that you're interested.

So when did you
turn into matchmaker?

Anyway, I'm hitting the sack.

I think I'm gonna stay
and play a little pool.

I think I'm going to
stay a while, too,

check out this Jake character.

All right. Don't
stay out too late.

Remember we have to get that
presentation in shape tomorrow.

OK, Mom.

What?

You know I'm interested in
you, not Jake, don't you?

I've stopped trying to figure out
what or who you're interested in.

I want to go home with you
right now, Billy.

I want you to unbutton my blouse

and pull up my skirt...

Brooke, I'm not really...
sure about you.

Are you single or not?

Yeah.

But it's a little
too complicated for me.

What do you see in me, anyway?

I mean, I...

I don't have a trust fund,

and I don't play polo.

I'm just a kid from the suburbs.

Don't blame this on my money.

I've made it damn clear

how attracted I am to you

and that I am interested,

but I'm tired of chasing.

I don't make a fool out
of myself for anybody.

OK, take it easy.

Don't worry about me.

You're the one
who missed your chance.

I won't be asking you again.

Mr. Hirsch, this is
Billy Campbell,

the new exec on your account.

Pleasure to meet you, sir.

Likewise.

And Brooke Armstrong,
my assistant.

Pleasure to meet you,
Mr. Hirsch.

Please, everybody,
you can call me Tyler.

There's no need to be
this formal.

I mean, I'm just a little
cookie maker.

Hardly, Tyler.

You're the best specialty
baker in the business.

Amanda Woodward.

Yes. I've heard great things about
you from our management team.

Well, the torch has passed.

Alison's in charge now.

I'm just observing.

Well...

we've come up with a campaign

that we think you'll find
entertaining, Tyler.

Picture a female executive...

Young, stressed from her day
in a big-city high-rise.

She opens the drawer
of her desk,

looking for the one thing

that can help her
through this day from hell.

She picks up a bag of Mrs. Molly's
fat-free sandwich cookies.

But it's empty.

She can't believe it.

She paces in a rage,

and then she spots
out her window

a Mrs. Molly's delivery truck,
15 floors below.

She thinks for a moment, then throws
open the window and leaps into the air,

diving for the truck below.

And our announcer intones as she flies
toward the truck like Superman,

"There is never a wrong time to
jump for a Mrs. Molly's cookie."

Is there something wrong?

How could you?

God, what kind of woman are you?

My mother took her life by
jumping from a 15-story window,

and you poke fun at that?

You... you make a joke?

Oh, no. Tyler, I didn't...

You are beyond disgusting,
young lady.

You are... you are inhuman.

Mr. Hirsch, please.

Don't say another word!

Alison, I am so sorry.

I had no idea.

This is terrible.

You'd better pray
you had no idea.

You'd better pray you had
nothing to do with this.

Hey, you gonna be OK?

Got me.

Doesn't look great right now.

Hello. Yes, um,

when Mr. Hirsch
gets back to the office,

will you please tell him
that Alison Parker called?

There's been a terrible
misunderstanding,

and I need to speak to him.

Thank you.

I think everything's
gonna straighten itself out

as soon as Tyler calms down.

I don't know.

I feel like I'm in a shark tank.

There's betrayal everywhere.

I need to talk to
someone I can trust.

Um, I'm here.

I can see that.

What I need is for someone to
treat me like a human being.

Take me to dinner, all right?

I'm sorry.

Will you?

Sure. Yeah, I'll, uh,
see you around 7:00.

Good evening, Amanda.

Playing dress-up, are we?

No, we are not.

I am the new president
of Mancini Design,

and by the way, you should know.

D and D is on probation.

I am not at all happy

with the way you've been
handling our account.

Perhaps you should talk
to Alison about this.

I'm no longer running D and D.

Oh, please.

We both know who holds
the cards over there.

Alison is no more
in charge of D and D

than Jane is of Mancini Designs.

I expect a meeting
with you by next week.

♪ They say ♪

♪ The mozzarella and the pasta
and the primavera ♪

♪ And the linguini ♪

♪ And all the pastas,
bom bom... ♪

What the hell are you
doing in my apartment?

Hi, dear. Come on in.

Put your feet up.
Have a glass of wine.

You know, when you were staying
with me at the beach house,

I took the liberty of
getting your keys copied.

Look, Michael.

I haven't called the police about
your little obsession here

because I still felt
some gratitude

for your help
with my medical problem.

Cancer... Amanda.

I cured you of cancer.

And hasn't it worked out well?

You come home healthy but
tired after a long day,

and I whipped up the best
tortellini and pesto in the city.

Imported pine nuts...
That's the key.

Get out, or I call 9-1-1.

Amanda, you know, after what
happened at the hospital,

I understood what our...
Or rather, your problem was.

You don't believe
in my sincerity,

how selfless I can be.

But you know,
I'm starting to see

a little something in your eye.

I think you're starting
to get it.

Oh, OK. Oh, for God's sakes,
don't bother with that.

I'll leave.

I'm just happy to see you're
having a good dinner tonight.

I've got patience now, Amanda.

Time is on my side.

Stop all this, Michael,
and leave me alone.

You'll come around, baby.

You'll come around.

Sergeant:
We've been progressing very well

with our physical
and mental toughness discipline.

But we seem to be
having some problems

keeping our feeling of unity,

which I feel is
very important, ladies.

Now, Kimberly came to us
a few days late,

and she's been having
some problems fitting in.

So I've spoken to Maureen,

and she has something
she wants to say about unity

in our search for selfness.

Kimberly, I'd like to apologize
for lashing out at you.

It was unfair.

See, I come from a disadvantaged
and abusive relationship.

Anyway, I just...

I want to apologize for
taking it out on you.

And I'd like to welcome
you to our group

as a sister.

Thank you, Maureen.

And let me tell you first
from the bottom of my heart

that I couldn't care less
about your feelings.

I hate feelings.

And you can lash out at me
all you want

because it just makes me
stronger.

You see, I'm not here
for sisters.

I'm here for power.

I thirst for strength, battle
skills, and determination,

and when I am filled
with those qualities,

I will flat-out destroy
those who have hurt me

and take back what is mine.

I will find selfness
when I am standing

on the corpses of my enemies.

Now I'd better get some sleep.

Night.

Thanks for dinner, Billy.

It really meant a lot.

It was nice to go
back to Pancho's again

and get away from the
pressures of the office,

even though I couldn't
black out on margaritas.

Hey, they pour
a mean mineral water.

Mostly, thanks for listening.

Sometimes I think
no one understands,

and then I realize
at least you try.

What are you talking about?
I understand.

You're under a lot of stress.

Billy, no offense,

but you've never been in
this kind of position.

It's worse than
a pressure cooker.

But I'm handling it.

I guess, also, with the
trouble with my parents,

there's... no one
to feel proud of me.

I obsess, and I can't sleep.

Well, you're home now, so you
can catch up on your sleep.

All right? So I'll see
you in the morning?

I have... so much on my mind.

I'll be up for hours.

Unless, of course,
I could find a friend

who could help me
relieve the tension.

You were always
real good at that,

if you know what I mean.

Come on, before I dock
your paycheck.

Why don't you try a hot bath
or a cold shower, all right?

Because I got
other things to do.

Billy.

Billy!

Billy.

This time,
I thought I'd ask you.

Shh. I'll be right down.

Yeah. I'm, uh... sorry that I
couldn't make up my mind before.

But I have now,

and I know what I want,
and it's you.

Come up... but quietly.

We don't want to wake Daddy.

It's, uh, nice watching you come
down a spiral staircase again.

Remember, Billy, not at work?

Anyway...
Alison's looking for you.

She seems a little, uh,
bent out of shape.

She doesn't know
about us, does she?

I didn't tell her.

I'd better get in there.

Be prepared. It's close to
time for our palace coup.

You wanted to see me?

Yes, Brooke. Sit down.

You probably know that Billy
and I had a long relationship.

In fact, we were
almost married once.

Yeah.

Well, that's over.

I guess I never really
understood that until now.

And now I feel like I don't
have any friends in the world.

Oh, I'm sure that's
not true, Alison.

Well...

I don't mean to get
too personal, Brooke, but...

I'm grateful to you for
being someone I can trust.

Well, you're welcome.

And the feeling's mutual.

Good, because it's
open warfare around here,

and I need you
to do a favor for me.

Sure, whatever you need.

I want you to spy
on Amanda for me.

Befriend her, find out what she's
trying to do before she does it,

because I know
she's up to something.

That Tyler Hirsch fiasco
was no accident.

If that's what you
need me to do, Alison,

I'll do my best.

Thank you. Means a lot to me.

Don't mention it.

I'm glad to do it, really.

This is the toughest challenge
of your training so far, ladies.

You are divided into two groups.

Each group will go
into your sweat lodge,

and you will stay there
in the heat,

and all you have to do is repeat
the chant that I taught you.

Now, you may hallucinate
in the heat and intensity,

but that's just birth pains

of your new warrior self
being born.

Now, let's go!

Find your mission.
Be transformed.

Move out!

Inside of myself is the warrior.

Inside myself is the warrior.

All: Inside myself
is the warrior.

Inside myself is the warrior.

Inside myself is the warrior.

Inside myself is the warrior.

Inside myself is the warrior.

Inside myself is the warrior.

Inside myself is the warrior.

Inside myself is the warrior.

Ooh.

Inside myself is the warrior.

Inside myself is the warrior.

Inside myself is the warrior.

Jane: You're a fraud, Kimberly.

You know that?

Michael only saw you as
a pale imitation of me.

Look at you. You're a mess.

Sweaty, smelly...

You really are a
lunatic, aren't you?

Jo: What she is is a witch.

Aren't you, Kim?

A lying, betraying,
baby-stealing witch.

Jane: Good. Witch is good.

Sydney: And a murderer.

How many people have you
tried to kill, Kimberly?

Michael, Matt, me...

I may be nuts, but Kimberly here

is a pure, drooling, evil troll.

Wouldn't you say so, Kimmy?

Amanda: You can chant
all you want,

but it won't work.

You know why? I'll tell you...

Because you're a pathetic, scrawny,
stupid little girl from Ohio.

You're weak, and you're scared,
and you're unbalanced.

You're not even very sexy.

I stole your husband right
from under your nose,

and I didn't even want him.

He's mine. He's mine. Inside
myself is the warrior...

He doesn't want you.
Nobody wants you.

Nobody even likes you.

Your life is over, Kimberly.

Why don't you just die?

You tried once.
Do it again. Die, Kim.

Die, Kim.

Die, Kim.

Die, Kim.

Die, Kim.

All: Die, Kim.

Noooo!

No, no, no!

Unh!

Sergeant: What was that?
Hold it. Hold it.

I don't care what you say, Sarge.
She's nuts.

She's completely lost control.

No, I haven't.
I've found my mission.

Hi. How are you doing?

Better since you walked in.

Is, uh, Jake here?

No. No. He's, uh...
He's off tonight.

Did you need to see him?

No, actually, it's better. Um...

I need to talk to you alone.

All right.

Kevin, cover for me, will you?

Kevin: Sure, Jesse.

Let's go out back,
get some privacy.

Look, um...

Oh, I know there's something
between us, you know,

like, this electricity, but...

Yeah, I'll say.

Um... we can't do this,

because it's just
gonna hurt Jake,

and I don't want to do that.

I know there's a lot of other women
in the world you could go out with.

Oh, OK. OK, I get the drift.

You don't have to drag it out.

But let me tell you something:

Losing what we have is tragic.

You know why?

It's more than
electricity between us.

I feel something for you that's
much stronger than that.

Just tell me if you feel that...

That pull.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess,
but that's not the point.

The point is that, um...

We can't do this.

I'm gonna kiss you.

Just once. I...

just want something to remember.

Once.