Melrose Place (1992–1999): Season 3, Episode 26 - Melrose Impossible - full transcript

Care to hear anything
special, sweetheart,

like, um, Mozart, Rachmaninoff,

perhaps a funeral dirge?

♪ ♪

Aw, I hope you don't plan
on taking all night.

I'm running out of scotch, babe.

Well, what have we here?

"Dear Michael..."

Well, that's original.

"I'm sorry you had to find me
this way.

"Being with you has
been a painful addiction,



"one that I'm not strong enough
to free myself from.

"Please know
the reason I've taken my life

is not to punish you..."

Michael?

What the hell are
you doing here?

Oh, my God, you killed her.

No, no, I just...
It's just... I just...

Look, I just now came home
from work and sat down.

You just now walked in?

Michael, you were
having a drink.

I thought she was
kidding, all right?

Shut up and call 9-1-1.

The phone's over there.

9-1-1 operator?



Yes, I need an ambulance.

There's a woman here
who's unconscious.

Can you tell me what's happened?

Do you know why?

I'm not exactly sure why.

All right, we'll get
to that in a minute.

Just stay on the line with me,
and we'll figure it out, okay?

In the meantime, I want you
to give me your address.

It's 1125 Beachfront Walk.

Okay, now, did you
find her unconscious?

♪ ♪

She must've taken pills...
I'm not sure what kind.

She was unconscious, pupils
dilated, pulse weak at 90.

She stopped breathing
while I was examining her,

so I was able to start
CPR in time.

Thank God I didn't
have to work late.

We've got her from here now, doctor.
Thanks.

Blood pressure's crashing...
Get her in the room now!

Michael.

Want one of these?

You look like you're about
to ball your eyes out.

What are you hanging around for?

Me? I'm just
an interested observer.

But aren't you even curious
as to why

I came to the beach house
in the first place?

Syd, you're like a bad penny.

You keep turning up no matter
what I do to get rid of you.

I went there because I needed

to talk to you about
Jane's business.

It's going under,

and you're
her only hope for more cash.

She's too proud to come
to you herself.

You really think I want to talk
about investments right now?

Michael, with a conscience
like yours,

it's as good a time as any.

Get the hell out...
In case you hadn't noticed,

my wife could be dying in there.

Well, yeah, but what
do you want from me...

Condolences or congratulations?

Hey.

You need a hand with that?

No, I got it.

No, really, come on.
No, I'm fine.

Let me give you a hand, really.

I got it...
Could you do me a favor

and push the hair out of my eyes

so I can see where I'm going?

Just push it back...
There you go.

There you go... thank you.

Thank you.

That's good, thank you...
After you.

Careful, it's steep. I'm okay.

I'll take that...
Where you going?

Uh, the car...
I have a big shoot.

All right, I'll take
this down to the car.

Why don't you finish your laps?

Hey, yes, sir.

A little brotherly competition?

What? No.

Hey, don't make something
out of nothing.

Come on, it's getting heavy.

♪ ♪

Thanks for coming
over before work.

I know it's early.

It's no problem...
I'm just glad to hear from you.

Haven't seen you around
too much.

Is everything okay?

Uh, everything's great,
actually.

I'm in remission.

Oh.

I mean, that's great.

Yeah, I'm glad to hear it.

Yeah, you and me both.

So what does this, uh...

What does this mean for you now?

Well, you know me.

I can't sit around
twiddling my thumbs.

I mean, DD has been my life,

and it broke
my heart to give it up

because I got sick.

But I'm better now,
and more than anything,

I want to go back to work
for the company I helped build.

You can't be serious.

Oh, I am,

but I'm not willing
to humiliate myself

and ask Alison directly.

Amanda.

You could get hired anywhere.

So why not try your hand
at another agency,

one with less baggage?

Well, honestly,
I can't deny the fact

that I'm still recovering
from Hodgkin's.

I mean, if I went elsewhere,

they'd expect me
to be in top form.

And quite simply,
I'm not there yet.

I need to build stamina,

and knowing DD as well as I do

would help ease me back in.

Besides, it's like home to me.

Makes sense, I guess.

Then you'll approach Alison
about hiring me back?

Well, I can't promise
I'll have any clout.

I knew I could count on you.

Thanks.

See you. Bye-bye.

Hello? Hey, gorgeous.

Hi.

Thought I'd give you
a call, check in.

I know I've been
out of touch lately,

but things have been kinda
crazy, you know?

Completely wacko, in fact.

It's no problem... What's up?

That's a hell of a way to talk
to the man in your life.

Michael, we need
to get together.

Now, that's more like it.

I want to see you too, babe.

How about dinner tomorrow night?

Mm, some place romantic.

How's The Ivy?

Fine... 7:00, I'll meet you.

No, make it 7:30,
and I'll pick you up.

All right.

Hey... I love you.

You know that.

Yeah, I do.

I'll see you tomorrow.

♪ ♪

I expect one of two things...

Either a total refund
or delivery by tomorrow.

If your company
can't accommodate

either of those options,

then consider
the account closed.

Well, I'm sorry too.

Idiots.

Hi.

You wanted to suggest something?

Yeah, about the,
uh, account exec position.

I know somebody who's
experienced in the field,

is dedicated to the job,
and very talented.

Sounds perfect.

Who?

Amanda.

You're being funny, right?

Look, you gotta admit
that she's tops in the field.

And we're overworked
and understaffed,

and she could do
a lot to lighten the load.

She put you up
to this, didn't she?

What incredible nerve.

Whatever your feelings are
about Amanda,

you know that she can do
any job here blindfolded.

So why not use her
to your advantage?

Exploit her skills?

Exploiting Amanda.

What a concept.

At least think about it.

All right, I will.

So I guess I'm just
gonna have to say this

and get it over with, don't I?

I'm sorry about the other night.

Oh, are you?

There's always so much going on
between me and my family,

and sometimes,
it makes me rebellious.

I didn't mean to make you
feel uncomfortable.

You're right,
it was inappropriate,

but I appreciate
you admitting that.

Apology accepted.

Good.

But I have to admit
I like you, Billy.

Talking to you, anyway.

You're a good sounding board...
You're a real friend.

Thanks.

Which is why I'm hoping
that you'll have

dinner with me tonight?

Look, if we're gonna
work together,

you gotta stop playing games.

I'm not playing games.

You don't understand.

Some pretty major stuff
happened with my family,

and my father's really,
really angry with me,

and I'm scared.

I don't know what to do, Billy.

Hey, it's okay.

And I have no one I can talk to
about this... no one.

Come on, I'm sure
that there are...

I have a lot of rich relatives
and phony acquaintances,

but what I need is a friend.

And right now, you're
the only one I've got.

Please?

Have dinner with me?

Don't tell me I died
and went to Hell.

Close.

But fortunately for you,

I came by your house last night,

and your devoted husband
had no choice

but to save your life.

What are you talking about?

He was having a drink, Kimberly.

He was waiting for you to die.

I suppose he wanted me
out of the picture

so he could enjoy...

certain other things.

Not the least of which is
$100,000 for my settlement.

You tried to kill yourself
when you had

that kind of money in the bank?

I did not try to kill myself.

I was poisoned.

But he doesn't have
to get away with it.

If you went to the house,

you could slip some Seconals
into my vitamin pill bottle.

I'll file charges,

the police would search
the place, find the pills,

and he could be brought to
justice for attempted murder.

I think you need
a good, long rest.

That's not to say
there wouldn't be

some monetary compensation
for you.

Really?

How much?

Oh, for five minutes work,
I don't know...

50 bucks?

For breaking and entering,
plus falsifying evidence?

Try 50,000. That's absurd.

I could get anybody
to do it for that amount.

Fine, do it then.

But not anybody knows
everything I know,

nor witnessed
everything I witnessed.

And I'm not lifting a finger

until the money's in my account.

♪ ♪

I'll have it wired tomorrow.

While you're there,

check around for a letter
I was reading that night,

something I'd written
a while back.

It might be misconstrued.

When you find it, dispose of it.

For 50 grand... I'll eat it.

♪ ♪

So my dad spent his whole life

building his store,

and it broke his heart

when I didn't take it over.

But I had to do

what was right for my life.

And I think in the end,

he was okay with that.

Hm.

It's been so different for me.

My mother died when I was six,

leaving my father
to raise me by himself,

and I became his whole world.

So...

my entire life...

I mean, everything...

I let him decide.

So I finally take a stand,

and I break it off with Lowell,

and Daddy freaks out.

What?

When did that happen?

Last night.

My father's even threatening
to cut me off...

financially and emotionally.

Hey, you're smart,
and you're talented,

and you'll do fine on your own.

Oh, well.

I guess it'll force me
to live by my word.

I always said I wanted
a normal, down-to-earth life.

Promise me
you'll show me the ropes?

I could manage a few pointers.

I understand you're interested

in coming back to work at DD.

That's accurate.

I have to say
I don't understand why

you'd want to take a step
backwards career-wise.

Obviously, you wouldn't
come in at the same level.

My motives are simple.

I'm not interested
in working any place

that's less than the best.

All right.

There is one position open...
Small accounts rep,

but you'd be working
out of a cubicle, not an office,

with a starting salary
in the low 30s.

It's quite a step down,

but if you want the job,
it's yours.

I'll take it.

Fine.

If you're up to it physically,
full-time hours.

There'll be no running
off to chemo every day,

no preferential treatment.

That won't be a problem.

When do I start?
Tomorrow morning.

But, remember, Amanda...

I'm the boss.

Of course you are.

♪ ♪

But not for long.

Morning.

Hey.

Well, welcome back.

How does it feel?

Terrific, actually.

Good, glad to hear it.

Amanda, I hope
you're comfortable out here.

I'm just happy to be home.

Brooke, would you bring Amanda
up to speed on her accounts?

But before you get started,
would you mind

running downstairs
and getting me a cappuccino?

I'll go...
Anyone else need anything?

Brooke? Billy?

Sure, I'll... I'll have one.

No thanks.

Okay, be right back.

Love the Miss Congeniality act.

I don't think Amanda's acting.

I think she's just sincere
and wanting to get back to work.

More like she saw an opportunity

to slip rat poison in my latte.

Hey, you hired her back,

so get used to trusting
your own judgment.

Can I ask you something?

Given that I work for Alison,

and that she has this history
of being enemies with Amanda,

how do you think
I should act towards her?

As you would
to anyone... friendly.

Hm.

Is there some trick
to this thing?

No.

Look, I think we better
clear the air between us.

About?

Yesterday with Jo.

You know, I didn't mean
to step on your toes.

It's just that when you haven't
seen a person in years,

it's hard to tell
who the key players are.

Yeah, I'm aware of that.

Obviously, you feel
something for her...

and I want to respect that.

All right?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm sorry
I jumped on you then.

That's okay.

Hey, just so you know,
I'm just a little protective

when it comes to Jo.

So what's the story with her...
You used to go out? What?

Yeah.

Pretty seriously.

We were even business partners
for a while.

It's kinda hard to describe...
Jo's a special person.

I don't know how else
to say it... she just...

She means a lot to me.

So why aren't you with her?

Jo and I have always
had a strong bond.

It's just our timing's been off.

I don't know, you know...

some time down the line,

I could... see
something happening.

Yeah, yeah, I can see that too.

You know, you got a good
life here, Jake.

You're a lucky man.

I'm not that lucky.

I still have to work
for a living.

Better get a move on.

Yeah... hey, brother.

I didn't bring too much with me.

Can I borrow a shirt?

Yeah, help yourself.

Thanks.

I will.

Thank you, Mr. Lambert,

and, please, accept my apology.

Thank you.

Is there a problem?

Yes, and her name is Amanda.

You wanted to see me?

I need to know why
the Lambert campaign

wasn't sent out this morning.

I'm sorry, I have no idea
what you're talking about.

Don't you dare
play dumb with me.

I gave Lambert my word that it
would be delivered on schedule,

and I personally
left a memo on your desk

instructing you to arrange it.

Alison, I never
received your memo.

So I'm supposed to believe

that on your first
day back, coincidentally,

there's a major screw-up
with the only client

I personally handle?

If I had gotten the memo,
I guarantee you

I would've made it a priority.

I know how important
the Lambert account is.

I'm warning you, Amanda.

I have no intention of putting
up with your petty sabotages.

I'm sorry.

The memo was buried
on your desk.

It never got to Amanda.

♪ ♪

See to it that this campaign
is sent out ASAP.

Here's the information.

Make sure to follow it up.

And you lived with her.

Oh.

♪ ♪

My god, sometimes, it amazes me
how gorgeous you are.

I'm not much
for public affection.

Well, you might
feel differently about that

in about half a minute.

What's this?

I want you to be
my wife, Amanda.

Oh.

What's the matter with you?
I'm serious here.

Oh, it's sweet.

But I'm...

I'm not marrying you.

I mean, I appreciate
everything you've done for me

through the course
of my illness,

but as we both know,

I'm better now.

Wait, what are you saying?

I'm saying I'm not interested
in seeing you anymore,

much less marrying you.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You don't want to see me?

Since when?

Our relationship...

uh, for lack of a better word,

was based on need, and that need
no longer exists.

So you want to break up?

Just like that?

It's not as though we were
together in any real sense.

I mean, I was vulnerable,
and you were there.

Frankly, you took
advantage of the situation

by drawing me into
a physical relationship.

A lesser person might've
filed suit.

Do you have any idea
what I've gone through

just to be with you?

Do you have any idea at all?

Kimberly tried to commit suicide

because I left her for you.

Stop right there.

This is more than I need
or want to know

about your psycho,
compulsive marriage.

Hey.

I love you, damn it.

And I've given up
everything just so I can.

Doesn't that mean
anything to you?

It means that you got
too involved

with your patient, doctor,

which, ultimately,
is not my problem.

Nurse, you paged.

That would've been us,
Dr. Mancini.

Something I can do
for you gentlemen?

I'm Detective Hayes.

This is Detective Lange.

We're investigating
the Kimberly Shaw case.

Wait, clarify something
for me... what case?

Well, Dr. Shaw's made
some serious allegations.

She's stated you tried killing
her with drugs.

That's ridiculous...
I'm the one who found her.

I saved her damned life.

You guys don't get it.

My wife can be,

shall we say, overly dramatic.

You know what?

I'm gonna go talk to her
and find out

what this little
ploy's all about.

Excuse me.

She says she has a witness.

Well, I don't care
what she says.

There is no witness
because there is no crime.

Kimberly tried to kill herself,

and I have the suicide note
to prove it.

Where would this alleged note be?
At my home.

Dr. Mancini, we obtained
a search warrant earlier today.

We went over your premises
with a fine-toothed comb.

The officers didn't find a note.

They did, however,
find a vitamin bottle,

which Dr. Shaw alleges
you filled

with a prescription
pharmaceutical.

This is nuts.

She's nuts.

Can't you see that?

The contents of the bottle

are being analyzed as we speak.

If the note turns up, call me.

Meanwhile, I would suggest
staying in town.

Attempted murder is
a very serious charge.

♪ ♪

I need these reports finished
before my 3:00 meeting.

You should probably plan
on staying late tonight.

I need some updated
account stats

for my presentation tomorrow.

The figures you gave me
yesterday were incomplete.

I'll get right to it.

Good... the sooner, the better.

Was there something else?

Yeah, we need
to have a little talk.

I have a ton of reading
to follow up on.

What can I do for you?

You could take it a little
easier on Amanda for starters.

You know damn well she's doing
the best she can.

I mean, it's obvious you're just
riding her hard out of spite.

How dare you.

How dare you tell me
how to run this business.

I'm not telling you
how to run it.

I'm just telling you
not to be such a bitch.

Get this straight, Billy.

What goes on between me
and Amanda is private property.

She personally has a lot of
wrongs to make right by me,

and she knew that
coming into the game.

She also knows that she is
my employee, as are you.

And the last thing
I need is to be challenged

at every turn
by my subordinates.

Oh, is that what I am to you,
a subordinate?

Between the hours of 9:00
to 5:00, you're damn right.

Fine.

Noted for the record.

All of a sudden,
she's the queen mother.

Yeah, she was pretty
rough on you.

How much did you hear?

Enough to know
that if I were you,

I would have steam coming
out of my ears.

Yeah, well,
working with your boss

is starting to send
my blood pressure

higher and higher every day.

Well, maybe you should try my
remedy for stress. What's that?

Well, whenever I've had it
up to here

with the world,
I play air hockey.

Oh, don't tell me... You have

a full-fledged
arcade at your mansion.

No, there isn't.

I usually go down to
the Santa Monica Pier to play.

You? Yes, me.

In fact, I'll tell you what.

I'll take you there after work,
my treat.

Oh, arcade games
aren't exactly my thing.

Oh, come on.

It's a great way to work through
any and all kinds of tension.

Just give it a chance.

All right...

but be prepared to lose.

I'll be visualizing Alison's
smiling face as the hockey puck.

Attempted murder?

Are you out of your mind?

Nice to see you too, Michael.

If this is another one
of your pathetic gestures

to keep me tied to you,
Kimberly, forget it.

Oh, I don't know... once Amanda
gets wind of the fact

that you're being charged
with attempted murder,

I seriously doubt
she's gonna hang around

and wait for the conjugal
visits to kick in.

You tried to take
yourself out of the game.

I wasn't even there
when it happened.

No, but you were just
gonna let me

lay there and die, weren't you?

Correct me if I'm wrong,

but isn't that the whole
point of suicide?

I can't believe I ever loved
you, you heartless bastard.

And anyway,
I didn't let you die.

I saved your pitiful ass.

You did not save me, Michael.

Fate just stepped in,
and when it did,

it revealed to me
my life's mission...

To make yours a living hell.

Whoa, you are really
losing it, Kimberly,

especially if
you think you can make

this attempted murder crap fly.

There's no proof...
It just doesn't exist.

Wrong, Michael.

Very wrong.

♪ ♪

Damn it!

All right.

Retrace your steps.

You stood here.

You took it.

You walked over here.

You sat down... reading it.

Then Sydney came in...

Sydney!

What's the number? What's...

Shooters.

You clipped it, didn't you?

Right from the scene
of the so-called crime.

Who is this? No, let me guess.

Um, someone who's rude, brash,

and too self-important
to identify himself.

Must be... Michael?

Yeah, right,
I'm laughing my head off.

Where's Kimberly's suicide note?

Funny you should
mention that, Michael.

Have you ever heard
the expression,

"Possession is
9/10ths of the law?"

Just get to the point.

The note's for sale, Michael.

All right.

I'll meet you at the corner
of Wilshire and Grove,

the coffee shop, in an hour.

We'll negotiate.

I'll bring my calculator.

♪ ♪

You know, you're not supposed
to do that

while you're on the job.

Well, it's my brother's place,
and you're a waitress in it,

so need I say more?

Fine... you want to break
his number one rule

and piss him off, go for it.

What, you're gonna run
and tattle?

Actually, I'm off-duty,

which means I have
better things to do

than care about a loser
like you.

See? I was right
about that game.

You were right... it was fun,
it was a lot of fun.

It's magic, makes
all your troubles fade away.

Alison who, right?

Actually, it reminded me of her.

Really? How so?

Aw, you'd never know it...
Alison and I

used to have a blast together.

She was great,
and totally spontaneous,

open to anything, fun.

That sounds extremely
past tense.

Well, put it this way.

I've had a better time
with you in one night

than I've had with her all year.

Which says what exactly?

It says a lot, I guess.

You know, it feels really good

to be myself
around a man for a change.

Just friends.

I think it's a first for me.

♪ ♪

Ready to play some more?

Yeah, let's do it.

So have you ordered yet?

Oh, I'm starving.

I usually eat at Shooters,

but since I had
to rush over here...

What, I don't even
get a cheeseburger?

The last thing I wanna do

is break bread
with my blackmailer.

Now, just name your price.

Okay.

Kimberly mentioned some
insurance money you're privy to.

What of it? I want half.

You honestly think
you're gonna get 50 grand

for some stupid piece of paper?

You're as loony as Kimberly is.

You know, it all but absolves
you of any wrongdoing, Michael.

Without the note,

and together
with the planted drugs

they're gonna pin on you,

you'll be breaking rocks
in no time.

I wonder if the burgers
are any good here.

This is a bunch of bull.

Pay you for what?

How do I even know
you have the damn note?

"You'll probably
never believe this, Michael,

"but you are my reason
for living.

Nothing else compared."

All right.

The money's yours...
Just hand it over.

You'll get it as soon as the
money is posted into my account.

Here's the number.

"Nothing else compared."

I guess there really is no
accounting for taste, is there?

You know, Sydney, if I were you,

I'd watch my back...

because neither me nor
the misses likes you very much.

♪ ♪

Mr. Lambert's on the line,
and he's really worked up

about some problems
with the campaign,

and Alison is at her AA Meeting.

Just say
she's out of the office,

and tell him to leave a message.

I'll try, but he's really upset.

I don't mean to eavesdrop,

but putting off Lambert
could be a big mistake.

In the past, if he didn't get

immediate attention,
he took it personally.

We almost lost him a couple
times as a result.

Yeah, but Alison's the sole rep
on that account...

at her own request.

Lambert knows me and my work.

I can cover for her.

Billy, I know how he operates.

He'll walk... trust me.

Transfer it to Amanda.

Thanks for the vote
of confidence.

Hey, you know him best.

Would you mind
pulling his file for me?

Sure.

Mr. Lambert.

It's Amanda Woodward.

No, Alison isn't here
at the moment.

She's at an AA meeting.

Oh, you didn't know that?

She's had some terrible personal
difficulties this year,

which may explain some of
the glitches with your campaign.

Now... how can I help you?

You know, I've been doing
some thinking,

and I've come to the conclusion

that we've got a lot
of catching up to do.

About what?

Your life.

I want to know more about it,

about the people in it.

And I want you to know
the same things about me.

So I propose...

that you let me take you and Jo

out to dinner tonight.

Oh, I don't know...
Uh, it's a weekend night.

I should probably stay here.

That's already been
taken care of.

Danny, the lead bartender,
is gonna cover for you.

Really?

Well, I'm not so sure
I'm comfortable

with the three of us.

It'll just be
a get-to-know-you thing.

We're gonna have to start acting
like brothers sometime, Jake.

Yeah, all right.

Where? My surprise.

Just set it up with Jo.

And... wear
something nice, okay?

Hi.

How'd it go?

Great.

I always get inspired
by my meetings.

They help keep me grounded.

Anything going on here?

Actually, yes.

While you were out,
Mr. Lambert called,

and he was angry
and demanding action.

And I ran it by Billy,

and he said to give
the call to Amanda.

Amanda? Why?

I guess because she was familiar
with the account from before.

Well, what happened?

Did the situation get resolved?

Yes, but now Lambert
is insisting

on Amanda being
his account rep exclusively.

Unbelievable.

You know, I don't want
to bad-mouth anyone,

but I have to say this.

I think that Amanda
has designs on your job.

What are you gonna do? Nothing.

I refuse to lose sleep over
Amanda's trademark backbiting.

Besides, in
her current position,

she's virtually powerless.

Would you get Lambert
on the phone?

I want to set him straight
about this as soon as possible.

Alison, um...

I hope you know
that outside these doors,

you can count on me to be
your eyes and ears.

Thanks... it means a lot to me.

Shouldn't you be
posting bail somewhere?

Oh, not since I have this.

You remember it, don't you?

It's your pledge
of eternal love,

your homage to heartbreak,

your suicide note.

"I'm sorry you had to find me
this way," blah, blah.

"Please know
that my reasons for doing this

is not to punish you,
but to escape you,"

and all that crap.

How much did the little witch
charge you?

Oh, it's bad business
to compare costs, Kimberly.

Besides, we should move on
to matters of more importance

like the fact that you're
gonna drop the charges,

take a job out of state,
and, generally,

get the hell out of my life.

Or what?

Or I'll see to it
that the state board

and every California hospital
gets a copy of this note,

written by a clearly
unstable physician.

I am never leaving you
or this state, Michael.

Never.

That's a copy, of course.

I had 200 made.

Now, let me break
this down for you.

If you stay, you'll probably
lose your medical license.

You'll be
downright unemployable.

Soon after, you'll enter
the ranks

of the homeless population.

But with any luck,
you'll still be able

to live out at the beach...

in a refrigerator box.

But if you go...

well, then I'll destroy
the note,

the whole incident
will be ruled accidental,

and we'll all live
happily ever after.

Well, at least I will.

So why don't you put a call
into those detectives

and tell them it was
all a terrible mistake?

With every cell of my body,
I hate you.

I hear Anchorage General

has a good treatment program
for that disorder.

So I convinced Jake
that the way to ride a bike

is to tie a rope
to the handlebars,

sit on it backwards,
and steer with the rope

by looking over his shoulder.

I can't believe
you fell for that.

I was 5 years old, it seemed
like he knew what he was...

Well, everything was fine
until he crashed

into old man Jackson's car.

And then, of course,
Mom blamed me for it,

and I got the stuffing
whipped out of me,

and Jake got off scot-free.

You know, if anybody
oughta pay for this meal,

it should be you,
Jake, considering...

Oh, yeah, I can get that.

Oh, let's all go dutch.

No, hey... I invited, I pay.

I thought you declared
bankruptcy a few years ago.

I thought they took away
your credit cards.

I got it from one
of those special TV deals.

Can I see it? Jake.

That's really rude.

Some brother I got, huh?

You know, he's always thinking
the worst of me.

Just let me see the credit card.

Wait, you think
I lifted it, huh?

Or maybe I knocked somebody
over the head for it?

Well, it sure as hell
wouldn't be the first time.

♪ ♪

You know what?

I'm getting sick
of taking crap from Mr. Perfect.

Jess, sit down.

I'll pass.

I hope you enjoyed your meal.

Jake.

He went through all
this trouble to buy us dinner.

You could be a little
more gracious.

Jess.

Jess.

Look.

I know that your brother can be
really touchy about things,

but he really does
want to work things out.

And you just gotta be
patient with him.

You know, all my life, I had
tried to be a brother to him,

but he has shut me out
from the beginning.

And now that my mother gone,
he's all that's left.

It just makes it hard, you know?

I am so sorry
that this happened.

Oh, well.

If nothing else, at least
I got to know you better.

You're everything he described.

Don't believe the hype.

No.

I can see why
he cares about you.

Why don't you come back
to the table?

No.

No, we'll iron things
out later, all right?

I think it'd be better
if I went somewhere

and cooled off for a while.

♪ ♪

Thanks for listening to me.

Hey. Hi.

I brought over some reports

that need to be edited
before tomorrow.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to just
dump this on you.

It doesn't have to be
first thing... maybe by noon?

You're amazing.

Look.

I know I've been
a real workaholic lately,

but I'm trying not to be.

In fact, I promise,

from now on after 5:00,

no more shop talk.

Billy? What's wrong?

You can't just come over here
and expect sex on demand.

I'm not demanding anything.

I'm just... being with you.

Why are you acting this way?

I thought... I thought things

were happening between us again.

Yeah, they were
for about 10 minutes.

What is that supposed to mean?

Hell, you've changed
since you got promoted.

But the new you is rude,
and selfish,

and completely egocentric.

I'll look over the reports
for you tonight,

if that's what you want.

But sleeping with the boss

isn't exactly
in my job description.

Good night.

So...

without one word to me,

you've decided that we're
just employer-employee now?

Right about the same time
you decided

I was a subordinate
from 9:00 to 5:00.

I see.

I want those reports
first thing in the morning.

The noon deadline was for
someone I cared about.

♪ ♪

What do you want?

I just came by to tell you

that I'm leaving
town for a while...

Fine... so bon voyage already.

And to let you know
that I'm perfectly aware

of your clever,
little screw-over.

And if I had more time,

I'd think of an equally
clever retort...

maybe even a painful one.

But, unfortunately,
I'm in a rush.

Well, I don't want to keep you.

Michael might be letting
you get away with this,

but he's weak.

I'm not.

You owe me, Sydney.

And believe me,
I'll be back to collect...

with interest.

Have you been waiting long?

Just five minutes or so.

Martini, very dry.

So did you bring
all her current files?

I even got
her phone logs in there.

Oh.

By the way, I didn't get
a chance to tell you...

That bit about Lambert's memo
being on Alison's desk?

Brilliant.

I thought so.

Get my friend here
anything she wants.

It's on me. Thanks.

Martini, very dry.

So what do you think?

This is really
excellent work, Brooke.

Just excellent.

Glad you approve.

We're gonna make quite a team
at DD, aren't we?

That's the plan.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪