Masters of Sex (2013–2016): Season 1, Episode 9 - Involuntary - full transcript
Virginia and Dr. Masters move on to filming involuntary reactions during the study, with Jane as usual being the first subject. Ethan reveals information about his heritage that threatens their relationship.
Previously on "Masters of Sex"...
VIRGINIA:
Vaginal contractions?
Every woman's experienced them,
but nobody knows they exist.
WILLIAM:
And we will present that...how?
VIRGINIA: Home movies.
Lester Linden.
JANE:
Tell me when to start.
LESTER: Action.
WILLIAM: We're the only two people
in the world who've seen it.
ETHAN: Vivian and I have been
seeing each other a while now.
I think it's time to start
considering the future.
AUSTIN:
Don't forget, a ring lasts forever.
VIVIAN: Is it a brilliant cut
or an emerald cut? The diamond.
ETHAN:
I suppose I'd have to look.
ESTABROOKS: [ Chuckling ]
You look as if you've seen a ghost.
WILLIAM: Mother.
LIBBY:
What was Bill's father like?
ESTABROOKS:
Francis wasn't a bad man.
LIBBY: That's not the same thing
as being a good man.
VIRGINIA:
You don't have a condition, Libby.
It's Bill.
He's the one with the problem.
His sperm count.
It just... It doesn't seem right,
you blaming yourself.
LIBBY:
Bill always means what he says.
But that doesn't mean
Bill always knows what's best for him.
ETHAN: We can resume the capping
with Bill's frozen sperm.
He knows the odds are
essentially a million to one.
LIBBY:
We are owed a miracle.
INGRAM: It's your hormones.
They increase the blood flow
to the baby.
LIBBY: To the...
INGRAM: Your pregnancy should proceed
without any problems at all.
LILLIAN:
It galls me to say it,
but she may be
one of my better students.
WILLIAM:
Mrs. Johnson might come to you
to, uh, sign up for another class.
I would appreciate it
if you would tell me if she does.
Her work on the study
is time-consuming.
The study needs to be a priority.
VIRGINIA: I don't know
how to describe it, exactly.
It's... It's as if things go
fuzzy for a few seconds.
WILLIAM:
Before or after bearing down?
VIRGINIA: Before.
Still in stage one,
but as the intensity builds,
it's like a...
a moment of numbness.
How would you say that?
WILLIAM:
"Loss of sensory acuity."
VIRGINIA:
Good. That's good.
WILLIAM: Ah! What the hell?
Jesus.
VIRGINIA: Ouch. Sorry.
WILLIAM: Couldn't you have been
more careful?
VIRGINIA: It's not like
I'm doing it on purpose, Bill.
You know, there have been
a few times
where I've left here with
some bruises, thanks to you.
I had fingerprints on my hips
when we were trying vaginal
rear entry, male superior.
WILLIAM: Well, short nails
from now on, please.
VIRGINIA: Maybe you should make
mention of it in my evaluation.
"Mrs. Johnson's manicure
has proven problematic
in research sessions."
I told you, you have to fill out
my performance review.
I left the form on your desk.
WILLIAM: I don't understand
why the administration
requires this nonsense
every six months.
It's not like I'm constantly
being graded on my performance.
Although I guess one might
consider this positive feedback.
[ Knock on door ]
LIBBY: Bill?
WILLIAM: Out in a moment.
LIBBY: Bill, I need to...
LIBBY: I'm sorry.
- I... I couldn't wait.
- WILLIAM: What is it?
Are you... Are you coming down
with something?
Stomach flu or...
There's no fever.
Could it be something you ate?
LIBBY:
Your mother did bring by
a huge dish of turkey tetrazzini
this evening.
Ugh. Is there nothing that woman
doesn't use cream cheese in?
You know, when she brings dinner
over and you're not here,
I feel obliged to have seconds.
WILLIAM: Well,
you shouldn't feel obligated
to do anything on her account.
LIBBY: It'd be a lot easier
if you two just occasionally
crossed paths.
You really should make more
of an effort with her, Bill.
WILLIAM:
[ Sighs ] I will.
LIBBY: When?
WILLIAM: Eventually.
LIBBY: Why not now?
WILLIAM: I don't understand
this sudden urgency.
LIBBY: She did move here
to be closer to us.
WILLIAM: She moved here to be
closer to her grandchild.
What do you have so far?
VIRGINIA: Toe curling, back arching,
obviously nail digging.
You?
WILLIAM: Jaw clenching,
nasal flaring, hand splaying.
There are involuntary contractions
in virtually
every single muscle group.
VIRGINIA:
You know what this means?
It wasn't my fault that I
scratched you... Simply a spasm.
WILLIAM: Or more commonly known
as myotonia...
a neuromuscular condition
where one loses control
of one's muscle functions,
like a reflex.
There was that one woman
who, uh...bit her partner
and drew blood.
VIRGINIA: Yes, and the...
the man who...
grabbed fistfuls of his
partner's hair like an ape.
WILLIAM: You know,
people have always assumed
that these are signs of passion,
but what I think they are
is a patterned response
that's completely involuntary.
And if they are involuntary,
how long do they last?
How quickly do they resolve?
It's worth examining.
JANE: Sorry to interrupt.
WILLIAM:
I didn't ask for coffee.
JANE: You didn't, but
I anticipated that you would,
so I insisted they make you
a fresh pot downstairs.
I also brought you
an apricot Danish,
because that is the kind
of secretary I am...
Always looking out for you,
ready for anything.
VIRGINIA:
She's on edge about her review.
WILLIAM: Oh, for God's sake.
I have to write hers, too?
VIRGINIA: Fine.
I will write Jane's review.
You write mine.
And then I'll get started
on a checklist.
That way, as the subject's
arousal increases,
at least we'll know
what we're looking for.
WILLIAM: It would be better
if we could film it.
Bring Lester in.
Get him to record it all...
feet, hands,
stomach muscles in spasm.
We can describe them,
but why shouldn't we have
a visual record, as well?
VIRGINIA: Uh, people's anonymity,
for starters.
WILLIAM: He'd film their bodies,
not their faces.
They'd remain anonymous.
VIRGINIA:
That is asking our subjects
to put a lot of trust in us.
Who would ever say yes
to something like that?
WILLIAM: Well, Miss Ready-for-Anything
has been ready for everything so far.
I'd suggest you start there.
MARIE: Shall I get you started
with cake samplings
until she arrives?
In white, we have classic white,
white raspberry,
white almond, white amaretto,
French vanilla...
ETHAN: It doesn't really matter.
I mean, to me.
Far as I can tell, cake is
pretty much cake, right?
MARIE: Actually...
there are dozens of flavors
and even more fillings,
as you will see
when I bring you samples,
so you can participate in this,
the biggest day of your life.
ETHAN: I hope you're hungry, 'cause there's
a truckload of cake coming our way.
VIVIAN: I am so sorry I'm late.
I got stuck with a patient...
Mr. Davinish...
and I was supposed
to help bathe,
but then he just dropped
his robe without any warning
in front of me, and, you know...
Ethan, there was something
really wrong with his penis.
It looked like an anteater.
I'm so glad you're not deformed
like that.
I've never seen such a thing.
I didn't even know
it could happen to a man.
ETHAN: Not being circumcised?
What you saw was foreskin.
Mr. Davinish has it. I don't.
VIVIAN:
Well, then it's just luck?
ETHAN: No. Jesus.
They should really teach this
in candy-striping...
Or at least in sororities.
All men are born with foreskin.
But some people have the baby's
foreskin removed after birth.
Basically, they just cut away
the extra skin.
VIVIAN: Who would do that
to a little baby?
ETHAN: Jews.
I've forgotten the idea behind it...
Something about the mark of God.
But recent studies show
it also helps prevent syphilis,
so we've got that in our corner.
VIVIAN: We... We do?
You said that
like you were jewish.
ETHAN:
My parents are, but not me.
VIVIAN: Well, doesn't that mean
that you are?
ETHAN:
Technically, but I don't observe,
so it's just a label that
doesn't mean anything to me.
VIVIAN: How could you
not tell me this?
ETHAN:
Vivian, it's not a big deal.
VIVIAN: I just feel silly,
not knowing that the man
I'm about to marry is jewish.
ETHAN: I'm not jewish.
I'm nothing, okay?
The man you are going to marry
is nothing.
JANE: How would it work?
WOMAN: Thank you.
JANE: What would be
the "no trespassing
beyond this point" point?
VIRGINIA: Well, we could say
your collarbone.
JANE: Because the one thing
that cannot appear on film
is my face.
VIRGINIA: Of course.
JANE:
And going in the other direction,
I would want my rump off-limits.
VIRGINIA:
All we're trying to capture
is various neuromuscular responses...
hands, feet,
stomach contractions.
JANE: I would also want you to
steer clear of my appendix scar.
It burst on a camping trip
to the Ozarks when I was 8.
Some country surgeon
practically ripped it out
with a bowie knife.
VIRGINIA:
We will instruct Lester
to avoid
any identifying characteristics.
JANE: Can we put that in writing?
VIRGINIA: Is that really necessary?
I... I just feel like
we've done a very good job
of protecting your anonymity so far.
JANE: Because the only thing
you've filmed are my insides.
It's not like
my gammy and gampy
can look at footage of my...tunnel
and say,
"Look! It's our little Janie!"
VIRGINIA: Yes. Right.
We will put it in writing.
JANE:
Contract. Like a movie star.
VIRGINIA: Yes.
And because we are asking you
to do more,
you should get paid more.
I can write you a check
out of Dr. Masters' fund today.
JANE: Oh. Really?
VIRGINIA: Yes, absolutely.
Jane, you are essential to our study.
Once the other people in the study
see how we intend to film them,
they'll know it's safe
to participate.
It always takes one brave person
willing to go first,
and that person is you.
JANE:
I would want to see the film first
before you showed it
to anybody else.
VIRGINIA: We can arrange that.
JANE: And whenever possible,
I'd like to be shot from the right...
definitely my better side.
ESTABROOKS:
It's not a club, per se,
but we do play cards once a week.
LIBBY: Is it mostly couples?
How's this?
ESTABROOKS:
Think it's a little small.
No, it's mostly widows.
[ Chuckles ]
Back in Cleveland,
once Francis passed,
it was like I died, too.
Couples don't want you any more
when you're not part of a set.
Oh, what about that coffee urn?
LIBBY:
I have a better one somewhere.
ESTABROOKS: Oh, no, that's fine, honey.
Just bring that down.
LIBBY: No, it's dented.
ESTABROOKS: [ Chuckles ]
I don't mind.
Where's the step stool?
LIBBY: By the fridge.
LIBBY:
How about you bring it down?
ESTABROOKS: I can't reach that.
You're the one who's tall.
LIBBY:
I'm not climbing up there.
ESTABROOKS:
H-how far along are you?
LIBBY:
I'm not discussing this.
ESTABROOKS:
Oh. But it's wonderful.
Oh, I understand.
LIBBY:
No, I'm very, very serious, Essie.
I don't want to hear any words
that have anything to do
with my...condition.
I...
I don't want to tempt fate.
I haven't even told Bill.
But you have to tell him, dear.
I mean,
the father needs to know.
LIBBY: Maybe, uh,
we can use the broom,
and that can help us get it down.
Of course I'll tell him.
I'm just... I'm waiting
for the right time.
ESTABROOKS:
To share the happy news.
Well, my card club
will have coffee after all.
LIBBY: Essie, I'm very, very
glad that you've made friends,
but don't forget the real reason
that you moved here...
to be near Bill.
ESTABROOKS:
And to you and the...
LIBBY:
I know it's hard with him.
ESTABROOKS: Yes, when my son
gets an idea in his head,
it's hard to shake him of it.
LIBBY: I'm just saying, you...
You can't expect him
to meet you halfway.
And I really want
you two to be close...
closer, anyway.
I want to feel
like there's a family here.
LIBBY:
Please, Essie, please...
please make the effort with him.
Of course I will.
Don't you give it a thought.
MAN: That's what I said.
Well, what's the problem?
VIVIAN: H-hello. I'm...
JACOB: No women allowed.
VIVIAN:
I'm sorry. I didn't reali...
JACOB: Out.
LILLIAN: Banks... 79.
Robertson... 78.
Schacter... 64.
SCHACTER: [ Scoffs ]
Unbelievable.
LILLIAN: Did you say something,
Mr. Schacter?
You don't think it's fair I'm
reading the scores out loud?
SCHACTER: I don't, actually.
LILLIAN: Would you rather
I wrote them in blood
on your locker?
That's how I learned my scores
my first year of anatomy.
My fellow students
considered it a prank.
I quickly made sure I had
the best grades in class.
Maybe you'll be similarly inspired.
Steppling... 71.
Johnson... 99.
Rosen... 82.
TIM: Hey, Johnson.
You know, Banks and I
are in a study group.
TRAVIS: Yeah. Well,
you should be in it with us.
In fact,
you should probably run it.
LILLIAN: Goldman... 72.
WILLIAM: Lib?
She dozed off during "Perry Mason,"
so I insisted she head off to bed.
He's supposed to be so
incorruptible, that Perry Mason,
but he doctored a ballistics
test in this one.
Now what are you supposed
to think about him?
He's supposed to be the hero.
Can I heat something up for you?
There's still some turkey tetrazzini
left over from last night.
Libby had two helpings.
WILLIAM:
I ate at the hospital cafeteria.
ESTABROOKS: Oh? What?
WILLIAM: What did I eat?
ESTABROOKS:
[ Laughs ] Yes.
You don't remember that routine
we used to do
when you were little.
I'd give you a nickel for lunch,
and you'd buy yourself
some mac and cheese
at the school cafeteria,
and then when you got home,
I used to say to you,
"What did you eat for lunch?"
And you would say "Aw, ma."
WILLIAM:
I never called you "ma."
I don't want to argue, Billy.
I was just saying
to Libby tonight, in fact,
"He works so hard, my boy.
It's too bad he can't bring home
his work,"
especially if it's just paperwork.
- WILLIAM: It's not just paperwork.
- ESTABROOKS: Oh, no?
WILLIAM:
No, I'm doing a study.
Subject matter requires
we perform our research after hours.
ESTABROOKS:
Because the pregnant women
have to wait for their husbands
to come home
and... and drive them in?
Really, I'm interested.
I see how completely this work
absorbs you,
and I want to understand
what it is you do.
WILLIAM:
I'm not studying pregnant women.
I'm studying sex.
I watch people fornicate...
and masturbate.
Then I take down
their sexual histories,
I record the physiological changes
in their bodies, in their patterns,
idiosyncrasies.
And then I compile the data.
Still interested, ma?
ESTABROOKS: Well...Yes.
As a matter of fact, I am.
Were you hoping to shock me?
You can't... Not about sex.
Sex has been around
for a very long time.
It predates even me.
And everyone has done it,
except the Virgin Mary.
In fact, your father had
tremendous sexual appetites.
WILLIAM: If you'll excuse me,
mother, I, uh...
perhaps I have what's ailing Libby.
VIVIAN:
I just wanted some sense,
you know,
of what being jewish meant.
ETHAN: She went to
the orthodox temple on Delmar.
That's like saying
you want to learn to swim,
so you join the Navy.
VIVIAN: Well, I think it led
to a very good conversation
last night.
Ethan has realized that he...
Well, you explain it, honey.
ETHAN:
This really matters to Vivian...
religion, a church wedding.
I could really go either way,
so...I'm fine about converting
to her faith.
BIBB: Fine?
ETHAN:
It means a lot to Vivian.
VIVIAN:
And I'm thrilled, Reverend,
that Ethan is willing
to do that for me...
for us, for our children.
It's a gesture of real love.
BIBB: The first step is
to find a sponsor...
Somebody that you trust
not only as a friend
but with whom you feel
a spiritual connection.
Okay. Vivian can familiarize you
with church doctrine.
You'll study the Bible.
And when I feel you're ready,
Vivian will stand beside you
when you receive
the holy sacraments
and accept the body of Christ.
ETHAN:
That's it? There's no test?
BIBB: No.
You are declaring your faith
in front of the congregation by saying,
"I accept Jesus Christ as my savior."
VIVIAN: Just a few words.
What could be easier?
TIM: This is gonna be quick, right?
'Cause I got a psych lab.
VIRGINIA:
This is just a quick overview
before we actually start
our study group
tonight at 8:00, sharp.
The work divides very neatly
into each of us taking a subject
to lead each study group,
so, Tim, I have you
with epithelial,
skeletal, and histology.
TRAVIS: Did DePaul slip you
the answers to that last test?
Some sort of sisterhood thing?
VIRGINIA: You must be joking.
She hates me.
MASON: So, how did you get 99%?
VIRGINIA: I studied, hard,
just like you will do
on ear, eye,
and cranial nerves, Mason.
Charles, I have you with vessels
and circulation.
TIM:
And you're pre-med, right?
VIRGINIA:
I might be pre-med, someday.
I'm just trying to graduate.
TRAVIS: What, graduate?
For the first time?
CHARLES: Wow.
Either you're
the latest bloomer on Earth,
or you've been through anatomy
so many times,
a monkey could get a 99.
VIRGINIA: You know, I would send
my kids to their room
for a comment like that.
TIM: You have kids?
CHARLES: Nobody has kids.
VIRGINIA: Well, I will take that
as a backhanded compliment
that I look too young
to be a mother.
Charles, instead of vessels,
I now have you
on colon, bowel, and rectum,
parts I and II.
LIBBY: He was moving
when I brought him in.
ESTABROOKS:
The crash breaks their necks.
Sounds awful, but it's
the quickest way to go.
Come on. Let's put him
in the outside trash.
LIBBY: No, no,
the bird is my fault,
and I will take care of it.
ESTABROOKS: Your fault?
I don't understand.
LIBBY: What's the worst thing
you've ever done, Essie?
ESTABROOKS: Oh, heavens.
Where did that question come from?
LIBBY: I want to know.
I won't tell Bill.
I've done something wrong.
ESTABROOKS: Oh, honey,
we all do something we regret.
LIBBY: No, I mean recently,
and the thing I did...
Well, I just might have died...
inside, I mean...
[ Sighs ] If I hadn't done it.
And even if it's a bad thing,
that's the right reason
to do something, isn't it?
ESTABROOKS:
You mean to...save yourself?
Well, my mother did always say
you have to be
your own best friend.
LIBBY: Did you know that my
mother died when I was a girl?
ESTABROOKS: I did.
It's a terrible loss.
LIBBY: Then you don't know
the strange part is that,
a few days after the funeral,
my father disappeared.
ESTABROOKS: Bill told me
your father had passed on.
LIBBY:
Because that's what I tell people.
But the truth is...
one day he just...
didn't come home.
And my sisters and I were terrified,
sure that something terrible
had happened to him.
It took a few days,
but...a neighbor
tracked him down.
He had moved...to Virginia.
LIBBY: After that,
all I wanted was to grow up...
So that I could have a family.
So that I could have a happy ending.
ESTABROOKS:
You know what I think?
I think your happy ending is now.
You're not seeing my face, are you?
VIRGINIA: Remember, Lester,
below the collarbone.
WILLIAM: Her feet, please.
Lester, that means I'm finished.
LESTER: And cut.
WILLIAM: I noted at least five
myotonic responses.
LESTER: I was going for a kind
of Edward Steichen approach...
the body as landscape.
VIRGINIA:
I timed the carpopedal spasming
late in the excitement phase...
You?
WILLIAM: I saw it most acutely
in early plateau.
LESTER:
The undulation of stomach muscles
like ripples on a lake,
the spiking of fingers
like stalagmites...
JANE: Really? I did that?
LESTER: Well, it depends on where you
stand with the auteur theory, but...
WILLIAM:
Lester, we'd like to see
what we have here
as soon as possible.
When can you
have this developed?
LESTER: Me? Developed?
Oh, no, no, no, no.
VIRGINIA: What do you mean, no?
You develop all our film.
LESTER: The other films were...
indoor locations.
I told the boys down at the lab
it was a laryngoscopy.
Turns out a voice box and a,
you know, look really similar.
But tonight's film?
The lab boys know pornography
when they see it.
JANE: Pornography?
VIRGINIA:
It's not pornography.
WILLIAM: We're certainly not
the first people
to have filmed a sex act.
Where do other people get
that footage developed?
LESTER: You can try one of
those places down on Locust...
Not that I've been.
ESTABROOKS: Hello?
Yoo-hoo! Billy?
JANE: Who's that?
VIRGINIA: Is that your mother?
ESTABROOKS: Hello?
- WILLIAM: What are you doing here?
- ESTABROOKS: I brought you some dinner.
I thought you probably worked up
an appetite by now,
watching all that sex.
VIRGINIA: I'm impressed, Essie.
I... I would never
have expected you to be
so open-minded
about what we do here.
ESTABROOKS: Well, I wanted
to know what my son was up to,
and so if the mountain
won't come to Mohammed...
So, tell me, dear,
what is your part in this?
Um, well, generally, I...
masturbate.
ESTABROOKS: That's wonderful.
And, uh, is it Lester?
ESTABROOKS:
Do you masturbate, too?
- LESTER: Sometimes.
- ESTABROOKS: Oh.
LESTER:
I mean, you know, not here.
Am I tasting cream cheese?
ESTABROOKS: Yes.
It's my little secret. [ Chuckles ]
So, tell me, what secrets have
you people discovered tonight?
Come on. I'm all ears.
Sometimes people grab
at their partners during sex.
VIRGINIA: Um, and a romance
novel will tell you
that that is an expression
of passion or intimacy,
but what Bill and I are finding
is that it's actually something
that you can't control.
It's not desire.
It's an involuntary spasm.
That's what
we've been exploring tonight.
ESTABROOKS:
And you let people film you
while you're doing that?
JANE: Yep. I'm the first one
through the gate.
VIRGINIA: Yes.
There are so many
physical phenomena
that are just better recorded visually.
Like, uh, Bill,
what is the name of...
WILLIAM:
Sternocleidomastoid contraction.
JANE: I've had one of those?
VIRGINIA: It's a neck spasm.
WILLIAM: Opisthotonos.
VIRGINIA:
That's when your back arches.
ESTABROOKS:
So, you capture all of this on film
so that the whole world can see.
JANE: Oh, no. Just scientists.
I mean, right?
Just scientists will see?
VIRGINIA:
Yes, Bill. Black olives.
ESTABROOKS: Well, since when don't
you like black olives, Billy?
VIRGINIA: I think "detests"
is a better word for it.
I've learned how to spot them
from a mile away.
In fact, I hope you've recorded that
in my performance review, Bill.
"Mrs. Johnson continues
to distinguish herself
as my official food taster."
You haven't finished my evaluation.
WILLIAM: I'm working on it.
VIRGINIA:
What have you got so far?
Wait. Actually, let me guess.
I am an accurate typist?
Pleasant phone manner?
LESTER: In my review,
the head of my department
said I should focus more.
I wasn't sure how to take that.
WILLIAM: Let's not discuss
your review now.
VIRGINIA: Why not? In fact, why don't we
all just write my review here together?
WILLIAM: Virginia.
[ Sighs ]
VIRGINIA: Here it is.
Oh, you've actually made
some progress.
WILLIAM: Virginia.
VIRGINIA: "As an assistant,
Mrs. Johnson acquits herself
more than adequately."
ESTABROOKS: [ Laughs ]
Not a gusher, my son.
VIRGINIA: "Mrs. Johnson's
commitment to the work
cannot be underestimated."
JANE: A little short on detail.
I hope you put more detail
in mine.
VIRGINIA: "Were it not
"for Mrs. Johnson's conscientiousness,
"dedication, and enthusiasm,
"I would be at a complete loss.
She has become
absolutely invaluable to me."
WILLIAM:
Why don't you finish
writing your review yourself,
Virginia?
VIRGINIA:
This is... It's perfect.
WILLIAM: No, I'm sure you'll
come up with something better.
Actually, I have an errand to run.
ESTABROOKS:
At 10:00 at night?
VIRGINIA:
Well, our work never sleeps.
JEREMY: Sure,
we can develop it for you.
My boss has got a setup
in the basement.
We do a lot
of homemade stag films.
WILLIAM:
Well, this isn't a stag film.
It's documentary footage.
JEREMY: Oh, yeah?
Gazelles traipsing
across the savannah?
VIRGINIA: It's a film of a
woman's physiological reflexes
as she... she pleasures herself.
JEREMY: Oh, well,
if that's your deal,
I just got in
a 8-millimeter smoker...
"Ring My Bell,"
starring Rosemarie Bacardo.
Towards the end, there's some
good kink with a canoe paddle.
WILLIAM: Could you speak
to your boss, please,
see how quickly he could
turn around the footage?
JEREMY:
Yeah, he's in the back.
WILLIAM:
My feet are sticking to the floor.
VIRGINIA: Do you have a nickel?
What? We're here.
WILLIAM: Well?
- Oh, this woman is a terrible actress.
- VIRGINIA: [ Laughs ]
WILLIAM: Well, there's
no discernible detumescence,
no corrugation of the areolae.
The one thing you can't fake
is vasocongestion.
VIRGINIA:
And no woman will ever be able
to fool you again, Dr. Masters.
Not that I've ever needed to.
JEREMY:
So, Richie says leave it with him,
he'll have it ready for you Tuesday.
VIRGINIA: No, I promised Jane
we can't leave it.
WILLIAM: We're not leaving it.
He'll have to do it now.
JEREMY:
He's doing a mop-up now.
WILLIAM: We'll wait.
JEREMY: He's gonna charge you
extra for a fast turnaround.
WILLIAM: I'm not letting
this footage out of my sight.
I've heard there are places
that make duplicates.
JEREMY: Want to keep this little
lady all to yourself, huh?
- WILLIAM: The film isn't of her.
- JEREMY: Oh, that's a shame.
You should really consider putting
your girlfriend in pictures, pal.
I'd have customers lined up
around the block.
WILLIAM: Watch your mouth
around the lady.
Now hurry up and do this now.
VIVIAN: If we have time,
we could swing
by St. Peter's bookshop,
pick up a copy
of "Becoming a Christian."
ETHAN:
I can pick that up myself.
VIVIAN: No, I want to.
We're doing this together,
after all.
ETHAN: Actually, we're not.
I'm the one converting, remember?
I pretended my waffle
was the body of Christ
this morning just for practice.
VIVIAN:
Ethan, you shouldn't joke.
ETHAN: Which is exactly
the problem with religion.
You can't joke,
but you are supposed to believe
in magic bushes and floods
and three lousy fish
feeding thousands
of dusty, sandy people
in some desert.
VIVIAN: I don't need to you
to believe in those things.
I just need you to do this for me.
ETHAN: Because you want
to go to heaven.
VIVIAN: We're gonna be late.
ETHAN: Because you want
to get married in a church.
VIVIAN: I can see you're
getting testy about this,
and I really don't know why.
[ Engine turns over ]
After all, it's easy.
You just do a little studying
and stand up and say,
"The lord Jesus Christ is my savior."
You can do that, right?
ETHAN: Of course I can.
They're just words.
The lord Jesus Christ is my savior.
VIVIAN: See?
ETHAN: The lord Jesus Christ
is my savior.
- The lord Jesus Christ is my savior!
- VIVIAN: Ethan.
ETHAN: The lord...
[ Thud ]
- WOMAN: Oh, my God!
- ETHAN: Jesus Christ!
- ROGER: [ Groans ]
- WOMAN: Is he all right?
ETHAN:
Oh, my God! Don't move.
ROGER:
You hit me, you idiot!
ETHAN: I am so sorry.
No, don't move!
Something could be broken.
ROGER: Yeah... Your head,
the next time you pull
a stunt like that.
VIVIAN: We are so sorry.
He wasn't looking
where he was going.
ROGER: He almost killed me.
VIVIAN: He's usually
a very careful driver.
You're usually
a very careful driver,
aren't you, honey?
VIRGINIA: Oh, no. Last night.
I completely forgot.
TIM: We waited for you
for over an hour.
VIRGINIA:
Well, I got stuck at work.
There were a million things
happening here...
My boss's mother showed up,
and then we had to go to...
I will make it up to you.
We can have
a special lunch-hour session.
TIM:
We don't have lunch hours.
I have organic chem at 1:00.
Travis, too.
Charles has got crew practice.
VIRGINIA: Okay, well, then
another time during the day.
TIM: We can only do nights.
VIRGINIA: The problem is
that nights are tough for me.
TIM: Listen, maybe this
isn't a-a big deal for you.
You're old.
You've got this job.
You have kids.
But Charles is on academic probation,
and if I not get a "B",
my father won't pay
for my tuition anymore.
VIRGINIA:
Okay, well, first of all,
this is a big deal to me.
And I pay my own tuition,
which is part of the reason
why I have to work this job
and why I'm busy at night...
TIM: Okay, so you need
one thing. We need another.
I'm sorry it didn't work out.
VIRGINIA:
Fine. It's your loss.
I'm the one
with the nearly perfect scores.
TIM:
Which is the real reason I'm here.
Can we copy your notes?
SHIRLEY: Oh, if this isn't
the sweetest, cutest,
most darlingest thing
in the whole wide world!
VIRGINIA: Hi, Shirley.
SHIRLEY: Oh, hey, there, Gini.
VIRGINIA: How fun is this.
I didn't realize you
were having a baby shower.
SHIRLEY: Oh, you know Val.
Any excuse for us secretaries
to stuff our faces
with angel food cake
and gossip about our bosses.
JANE:
Pull up a chair, Virginia.
We can make room,
can't we, girls?
VIRGINIA:
Oh, that's all right.
I, uh... I have a lot of work
to catch up on while I eat.
Congratulations.
LILLIAN: Do you mind?
VIRGINIA:
Are you going to insult me?
LILLIAN: I don't think so.
My first year of med school,
I tried to sit
with my fellow students...
all men, of course, who made me feel
about as welcome as a case of piles.
And then I tried to sit
with the nurses.
That was a disaster.
It hasn't much changed
over the years.
VIRGINIA: So, what do you do?
Do you just eat alone
for the rest of your life?
LILLIAN: I focus on the work.
At the end of the day,
that's what endures.
That's the thing we leave behind.
WILLIAM:
Virginia, I need you to call...
Mother.
You show up in the evenings.
You show up during the day.
Do I need to call security?
ESTABROOKS:
I need to talk to you, son.
WILLIAM: Has something happened
to Libby?
ESTABROOKS:
Not anything bad, no.
I am...
I'm worried
that what I have to say
is going to come out
the wrong way.
WILLIAM: Well, whatever it is,
I'm sure it can wait
until I get home.
ESTABROOKS: No. I can't talk
to you about this at home.
Do you know what's
the worst thing I ever did?
The worst thing I ever did
was not to speak up.
I didn't speak up.
And I didn't stop
what was happening to you.
I didn't speak up
about a lot of things,
so I'm gonna speak up now.
I said your father was
a very sexual man, and he was.
He just wasn't sexual with me.
For many years,
he had a pretty secretary...
Eleanor de Sousa.
She was all high heels
and long, red nails.
She used to give you
saltwater taffy.
Do you remember?
WILLIAM: No.
And I don't know why...
ESTABROOKS: Because, Billy,
I can see that there's something
going on between you...
WILLIAM: Stop there, mother.
Virginia is my research assistant,
and I won't have you insinuating
anything improp...
ESTABROOKS:
I am just saying, Billy...
The man your father was
with Eleanor de Sousa
was the man he wanted to be.
And what we got at home
[scoffs] was very little.
I don't think "little" describes it.
ESTABROOKS: You don't want
to do that to your family.
WILLIAM:
This conversation is over.
ESTABROOKS: That's what
your father always used to say.
WILLIAM: Don't even begin
to compare him to me!
ESTABROOKS: You need to figure
out what you're doing, son.
And you need to start
by talking to your wife.
RISH:
Your vitals are fine, Dr. Haas.
Thank goodness the fall
wasn't worse.
I'll see about getting you discharged.
VIVIAN: What a relief.
ETHAN: Viv, why don't you go
handle the discharge papers?
LANGSHAW: St. Jude,
patron saint of lost causes.
ETHAN: Well, you don't look
like a lost cause.
LANGSHAW: [ Chuckles ]
Well, actually,
I have two prayer cards.
Would you...
Would you like one?
The other is St. Anthony,
patron saint of lost things.
ETHAN: Thanks,
but I haven't lost anything.
At least, I don't think I have.
LANGSHAW: You're not catholic?
ETHAN: No, I'm nothing.
I mean, I'm jewish,
but...I'm a doctor.
LANGSHAW: Well,
that's a religion of sorts.
My son's god was Pythagoras.
He always worshiped numbers,
starting when he was a boy.
- He's at M.I.T. now.
- ETHAN: That's a good school.
LANGSHAW: And what did you want
to do when you were young?
ETHAN: [ Chuckles ]
I'm not sure.
I played baseball.
I was a decent pitcher but, um...
I gave it up after high school.
I always tested well,
was good in math and science,
so Professor McAlary
suggested I go pre-med.
My parents, of course,
always wanted me to become
a doctor, and so...
I just...
[ Sighs ] I don't know...
LANGSHAW:
Floated that direction.
ETHAN: You know, the one time
I really did go after something...
it didn't work out.
LANGSHAW: Well, only the young
think floating is an option.
When you get to my age,
you... you learn floating...
floating is for boats.
ETHAN: [ Chuckles ]
[ Dramatic music plays, gunshot ]
[ Door opens ]
LIBBY: You're just in time
for the shootout.
[ Gunshots ]
[ Television shuts off ]
What is it?
WILLIAM: I don't know.
My, uh... my mother was adamant
I should talk to you.
About what, of course,
she, uh...
she wouldn't say.
Everything all right?
LIBBY: More than all right.
Uh...
Something has happened.
I can't say the words out loud
because I'm afraid
the wrath of God will just...
WILLIAM: You're...pregnant?
But that's, uh...
that's not possible.
LIBBY: It is.
WILLIAM: No, Libby, you're not.
I'm a fertility doctor.
It's... It's not possible.
The only way...
LIBBY: Yes.
The only way
I could get pregnant...
given that I'm barren...
with a uterus
incompatible with conception...
isn't that what you said?
It would be very difficult...
impossible, maybe...
for this to happen to me
with just our making love.
And yet it has happened.
And now all that matters
is that it is.
WILLIAM: I know my wife.
My wife would never...
LIBBY: Just like my husband
would never lie to me.
We have to forgive each other...
and move forward.
WILLIAM: You'll forgive me
if I... I don't see it that way.
Excuse me.
LIBBY:
You're not going anywhere, Bill.
You are in that exam room
night after night,
watching people have sex.
Human sexual response,
you call it.
But there is no humanity in it.
It is...important work,
but it's not life.
It's physiology.
It's... It's numbers.
Nothing that truly matters
in this world
can be measured like that.
The purpose of sex isn't an orgasm.
It is making life.
This is life.
This is love.
Without it...
you're just a man, lost in space,
calling out,
hoping to hear something back.
What I am...
what this baby is...
what a family is...
we're your echo.
ETHAN:
Uh, I'm going to pass on the bacon.
VIVIAN: Why? You love bacon.
ETHAN:
I like it, but...I don't know.
I'm gonna try something different.
VIVIAN: Ham?
ETHAN: I was just thinking
about my dad this morning.
He's never tasted bacon.
He was raised that way
by my grandparents.
He tried to raise us kids
that way, too.
I thought it was stupid,
and as soon as I could,
I ignored it
and ate whatever I wanted.
But it meant something to my dad.
And my dad means something to me.
VIVIAN: Everybody cares
about their parents.
ETHAN: But I never asked him.
"Why no bacon?"
"Why get circumcised?"
Why is some little wafer
supposed to be the body of Christ?
VIVIAN:
Your father believes in Christ?
ETHAN: No.
My point is that I...
VIVIAN: You're nervous
about converting.
ETHAN: [ Clears throat ]
I wouldn't say nervous...
Because I'm not going
to convert.
I understand
what this means for you.
I know you can't marry a jew.
VIVIAN: Why... Why not?
Because I...
Girls like me don't do that?
Because my parents won't understand?
I don't need to do whatever
everybody expects me to do.
ETHAN: But a church wedding
matters to you.
And you're a girl
that deserves that.
VIVIAN: You matter to me.
If we have to get married
in a courthouse,
then that's what we'll do.
ETHAN: And how would we
raise our children?
VIVIAN: The way that we decide
to raise them... Together.
Ethan, why are you suddenly acting
like you care about all of this stuff?
ETHAN: Because I should care
about something.
You know, sh-shouldn't I stand up
and declare myself about something?
VIVIAN: You're about to stand up
in front of everyone we know,
in front of everyone that we love,
and declare yourself to me.
You picked me.
ETHAN: No.
Viv, you picked me.
VIVIAN: What are you saying?
ETHAN: I'm saying,
if I could go back to when I was 20...
and design what I thought
was the perfect girl for me,
I would have designed you.
VIVIAN: [ Sniffles ]
And who would you design now?
[ Crying ]
JANE: [ Panting ]
VIRGINIA: What's the matter?
JANE:
I have to explain what's the matter?
VIRGINIA: Oh,
that's excellent footage, Jane.
In the first minute alone,
we've captured neck strain,
vasocongestion,
the start of a very promising
stomach-muscle spasm.
JANE: My stomach muscles,
my neck.
- VIRGINIA: You can't tell it's you.
- JANE: But that's the problem.
I know that it's me, but I don't
know who that girl is,
and, honestly,
I-I don't want to know.
VIRGINIA:
I'm... I don't understand.
JANE: Virginia...
I've not exactly been a saint,
as you know.
I've slept with a few men,
and...well, I like it.
I like the feeling of a man,
the weight of his body,
feeling like I don't exist
except as a million tiny
nerve endings.
And it can also feel
pretty great when I'm alone.
But it's an...
it's an inside feeling.
That's how I know sex.
That...
I don't want to see that,
and I don't want anyone else
to see it, either.
VIRGINIA: You've been fine
with this all along.
JANE: And I take pride
in the work that I've done here.
I do.
And I hope that you don't give me
a bad performance review because of this,
but...
I can't have this film out there.
I'm sorry.
I want you to promise me
you'll destroy it.
WOMAN:
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
VIRGINIA: Our girl has gone.
WILLIAM: I'm sorry?
VIRGINIA: Jane.
She won't do any more filming.
In fact, she asked us to destroy
the latest film.
I've already done it.
Now, I know you probably disagree,
but we owe her this much.
She's worked so hard for us.
This was... I don't know.
For some reason, it was
just too much for her.
WILLIAM: We paid her.
VIRGINIA: Well, I think
that's part of the problem.
Getting paid to show
her naked body?
To her mind, only hookers
and porn actors do that.
- She gave the money back.
- WILLIAM: I see.
VIRGINIA:
And so I've decided I'll do it.
WILLIAM: That's not necessary.
VIRGINIA: I've done other things
for the good of the study
because I believe in it.
And at the end of the day,
the work is what endures.
I do have one request, though.
I only want you in the room.
Lester... He's a very nice boy,
but I don't want him
seeing me like that.
Do you think
you could work the camera?
WILLIAM: Move down a bit.
There. Now you're in frame.
[ Camera whirring ]
VIRGINIA: [ Sighs ]
[ Panting ]
[ Door opens ]
Are you going to take the film in?
My screen debut?
WILLIAM: Ah. Yes, shortly.
VIRGINIA: Well, tomorrow,
I'll start looking into an editor,
'cause we need to cut it down,
- just to give people a rough idea of...
- WILLIAM: Virginia?
VIRGINIA: Mm-hmm?
WILLIAM:
I wanted to give you this.
VIRGINIA: You finished
my performance review?
No, this is way more
than you owe me.
The dictaphone didn't...
didn't cost half this much.
WILLIAM: It's not for
the dictaphone. It's for you.
VIRGINIA: I don't understand.
WILLIAM: It occurred to me,
I've been,
uh...taking advantage of you...
asking you to do for free
what every other person
who came through that door
has been compensated for.
VIRGINIA: You're joking.
This is... It's a joke, right?
WILLIAM: [ Clears throat ]
I came up with the amount
by, uh, adding up the times we've...
participated.
And there's extra
for the filming tonight,
what we would've paid Jane.
VIRGINIA: And you?
Did you pay yourself?
WILLIAM: Of course not.
It's my study.
VIRGINIA: It's our study.
WILLIAM: Right.
You shouldn't be
selling yourself short.
VIRGINIA:
I wouldn't sell myself, period.
You don't mean this...
Because if you...
if you mean this...
WILLIAM: Take the money.
I want you to have it.
VIRGINIA: [ Sighs ]
[ Door opens ]
[ Crying ]
[ Knock on window ]
ETHAN: You okay?
VIRGINIA: [ Sniffles ]
ETHAN: Hey.
VIRGINIA: No, everything's fine.
I'm just...
ETHAN:
I'm having a terrible day, too.
Do you want to be alone?
VIRGINIA: I don't know.
[ Door opens ]
EUSTACE: Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
We got a call...
Light bulb needs changing.
- WILLIAM: Go ahead.
- EUSTACE: You sure?
Now, generally,
I don't mind working this late.
My wife and me,
we're celebrating tonight.
I got the best performance
review of the whole crew today.
WILLIAM: Congratulations.
EUSTACE: How about you?
How'd you do?
WILLIAM: Not good, I'm afraid.
First, do no harm.
That's, uh...
what all physicians promise.
But I'm afraid I, uh...
I haven't lived up to that.
VIRGINIA:
Mrs. Virginia Johnson
has proven herself to be
a very competent assistant.
She has consistently demonstrated
a natural aptitude for the work,
an enthusiasm and dedication to it,
and an eagerness to take on
a larger and more integral role
as our research progresses.
There is one quality
that Mrs. Johnson possesses
that works both to her advantage
and to her disadvantage...
She cares very passionately
about everything she does.
To ensure that her professional
momentum continues apace,
it would be my recommendation
that Mrs. Johnson try not
to take her work so personally
and adopt
a more detached approach.
Office skills... Excellent.
Presentation... Excellent.
Punctuality... Needs work.
VIRGINIA:
Vaginal contractions?
Every woman's experienced them,
but nobody knows they exist.
WILLIAM:
And we will present that...how?
VIRGINIA: Home movies.
Lester Linden.
JANE:
Tell me when to start.
LESTER: Action.
WILLIAM: We're the only two people
in the world who've seen it.
ETHAN: Vivian and I have been
seeing each other a while now.
I think it's time to start
considering the future.
AUSTIN:
Don't forget, a ring lasts forever.
VIVIAN: Is it a brilliant cut
or an emerald cut? The diamond.
ETHAN:
I suppose I'd have to look.
ESTABROOKS: [ Chuckling ]
You look as if you've seen a ghost.
WILLIAM: Mother.
LIBBY:
What was Bill's father like?
ESTABROOKS:
Francis wasn't a bad man.
LIBBY: That's not the same thing
as being a good man.
VIRGINIA:
You don't have a condition, Libby.
It's Bill.
He's the one with the problem.
His sperm count.
It just... It doesn't seem right,
you blaming yourself.
LIBBY:
Bill always means what he says.
But that doesn't mean
Bill always knows what's best for him.
ETHAN: We can resume the capping
with Bill's frozen sperm.
He knows the odds are
essentially a million to one.
LIBBY:
We are owed a miracle.
INGRAM: It's your hormones.
They increase the blood flow
to the baby.
LIBBY: To the...
INGRAM: Your pregnancy should proceed
without any problems at all.
LILLIAN:
It galls me to say it,
but she may be
one of my better students.
WILLIAM:
Mrs. Johnson might come to you
to, uh, sign up for another class.
I would appreciate it
if you would tell me if she does.
Her work on the study
is time-consuming.
The study needs to be a priority.
VIRGINIA: I don't know
how to describe it, exactly.
It's... It's as if things go
fuzzy for a few seconds.
WILLIAM:
Before or after bearing down?
VIRGINIA: Before.
Still in stage one,
but as the intensity builds,
it's like a...
a moment of numbness.
How would you say that?
WILLIAM:
"Loss of sensory acuity."
VIRGINIA:
Good. That's good.
WILLIAM: Ah! What the hell?
Jesus.
VIRGINIA: Ouch. Sorry.
WILLIAM: Couldn't you have been
more careful?
VIRGINIA: It's not like
I'm doing it on purpose, Bill.
You know, there have been
a few times
where I've left here with
some bruises, thanks to you.
I had fingerprints on my hips
when we were trying vaginal
rear entry, male superior.
WILLIAM: Well, short nails
from now on, please.
VIRGINIA: Maybe you should make
mention of it in my evaluation.
"Mrs. Johnson's manicure
has proven problematic
in research sessions."
I told you, you have to fill out
my performance review.
I left the form on your desk.
WILLIAM: I don't understand
why the administration
requires this nonsense
every six months.
It's not like I'm constantly
being graded on my performance.
Although I guess one might
consider this positive feedback.
[ Knock on door ]
LIBBY: Bill?
WILLIAM: Out in a moment.
LIBBY: Bill, I need to...
LIBBY: I'm sorry.
- I... I couldn't wait.
- WILLIAM: What is it?
Are you... Are you coming down
with something?
Stomach flu or...
There's no fever.
Could it be something you ate?
LIBBY:
Your mother did bring by
a huge dish of turkey tetrazzini
this evening.
Ugh. Is there nothing that woman
doesn't use cream cheese in?
You know, when she brings dinner
over and you're not here,
I feel obliged to have seconds.
WILLIAM: Well,
you shouldn't feel obligated
to do anything on her account.
LIBBY: It'd be a lot easier
if you two just occasionally
crossed paths.
You really should make more
of an effort with her, Bill.
WILLIAM:
[ Sighs ] I will.
LIBBY: When?
WILLIAM: Eventually.
LIBBY: Why not now?
WILLIAM: I don't understand
this sudden urgency.
LIBBY: She did move here
to be closer to us.
WILLIAM: She moved here to be
closer to her grandchild.
What do you have so far?
VIRGINIA: Toe curling, back arching,
obviously nail digging.
You?
WILLIAM: Jaw clenching,
nasal flaring, hand splaying.
There are involuntary contractions
in virtually
every single muscle group.
VIRGINIA:
You know what this means?
It wasn't my fault that I
scratched you... Simply a spasm.
WILLIAM: Or more commonly known
as myotonia...
a neuromuscular condition
where one loses control
of one's muscle functions,
like a reflex.
There was that one woman
who, uh...bit her partner
and drew blood.
VIRGINIA: Yes, and the...
the man who...
grabbed fistfuls of his
partner's hair like an ape.
WILLIAM: You know,
people have always assumed
that these are signs of passion,
but what I think they are
is a patterned response
that's completely involuntary.
And if they are involuntary,
how long do they last?
How quickly do they resolve?
It's worth examining.
JANE: Sorry to interrupt.
WILLIAM:
I didn't ask for coffee.
JANE: You didn't, but
I anticipated that you would,
so I insisted they make you
a fresh pot downstairs.
I also brought you
an apricot Danish,
because that is the kind
of secretary I am...
Always looking out for you,
ready for anything.
VIRGINIA:
She's on edge about her review.
WILLIAM: Oh, for God's sake.
I have to write hers, too?
VIRGINIA: Fine.
I will write Jane's review.
You write mine.
And then I'll get started
on a checklist.
That way, as the subject's
arousal increases,
at least we'll know
what we're looking for.
WILLIAM: It would be better
if we could film it.
Bring Lester in.
Get him to record it all...
feet, hands,
stomach muscles in spasm.
We can describe them,
but why shouldn't we have
a visual record, as well?
VIRGINIA: Uh, people's anonymity,
for starters.
WILLIAM: He'd film their bodies,
not their faces.
They'd remain anonymous.
VIRGINIA:
That is asking our subjects
to put a lot of trust in us.
Who would ever say yes
to something like that?
WILLIAM: Well, Miss Ready-for-Anything
has been ready for everything so far.
I'd suggest you start there.
MARIE: Shall I get you started
with cake samplings
until she arrives?
In white, we have classic white,
white raspberry,
white almond, white amaretto,
French vanilla...
ETHAN: It doesn't really matter.
I mean, to me.
Far as I can tell, cake is
pretty much cake, right?
MARIE: Actually...
there are dozens of flavors
and even more fillings,
as you will see
when I bring you samples,
so you can participate in this,
the biggest day of your life.
ETHAN: I hope you're hungry, 'cause there's
a truckload of cake coming our way.
VIVIAN: I am so sorry I'm late.
I got stuck with a patient...
Mr. Davinish...
and I was supposed
to help bathe,
but then he just dropped
his robe without any warning
in front of me, and, you know...
Ethan, there was something
really wrong with his penis.
It looked like an anteater.
I'm so glad you're not deformed
like that.
I've never seen such a thing.
I didn't even know
it could happen to a man.
ETHAN: Not being circumcised?
What you saw was foreskin.
Mr. Davinish has it. I don't.
VIVIAN:
Well, then it's just luck?
ETHAN: No. Jesus.
They should really teach this
in candy-striping...
Or at least in sororities.
All men are born with foreskin.
But some people have the baby's
foreskin removed after birth.
Basically, they just cut away
the extra skin.
VIVIAN: Who would do that
to a little baby?
ETHAN: Jews.
I've forgotten the idea behind it...
Something about the mark of God.
But recent studies show
it also helps prevent syphilis,
so we've got that in our corner.
VIVIAN: We... We do?
You said that
like you were jewish.
ETHAN:
My parents are, but not me.
VIVIAN: Well, doesn't that mean
that you are?
ETHAN:
Technically, but I don't observe,
so it's just a label that
doesn't mean anything to me.
VIVIAN: How could you
not tell me this?
ETHAN:
Vivian, it's not a big deal.
VIVIAN: I just feel silly,
not knowing that the man
I'm about to marry is jewish.
ETHAN: I'm not jewish.
I'm nothing, okay?
The man you are going to marry
is nothing.
JANE: How would it work?
WOMAN: Thank you.
JANE: What would be
the "no trespassing
beyond this point" point?
VIRGINIA: Well, we could say
your collarbone.
JANE: Because the one thing
that cannot appear on film
is my face.
VIRGINIA: Of course.
JANE:
And going in the other direction,
I would want my rump off-limits.
VIRGINIA:
All we're trying to capture
is various neuromuscular responses...
hands, feet,
stomach contractions.
JANE: I would also want you to
steer clear of my appendix scar.
It burst on a camping trip
to the Ozarks when I was 8.
Some country surgeon
practically ripped it out
with a bowie knife.
VIRGINIA:
We will instruct Lester
to avoid
any identifying characteristics.
JANE: Can we put that in writing?
VIRGINIA: Is that really necessary?
I... I just feel like
we've done a very good job
of protecting your anonymity so far.
JANE: Because the only thing
you've filmed are my insides.
It's not like
my gammy and gampy
can look at footage of my...tunnel
and say,
"Look! It's our little Janie!"
VIRGINIA: Yes. Right.
We will put it in writing.
JANE:
Contract. Like a movie star.
VIRGINIA: Yes.
And because we are asking you
to do more,
you should get paid more.
I can write you a check
out of Dr. Masters' fund today.
JANE: Oh. Really?
VIRGINIA: Yes, absolutely.
Jane, you are essential to our study.
Once the other people in the study
see how we intend to film them,
they'll know it's safe
to participate.
It always takes one brave person
willing to go first,
and that person is you.
JANE:
I would want to see the film first
before you showed it
to anybody else.
VIRGINIA: We can arrange that.
JANE: And whenever possible,
I'd like to be shot from the right...
definitely my better side.
ESTABROOKS:
It's not a club, per se,
but we do play cards once a week.
LIBBY: Is it mostly couples?
How's this?
ESTABROOKS:
Think it's a little small.
No, it's mostly widows.
[ Chuckles ]
Back in Cleveland,
once Francis passed,
it was like I died, too.
Couples don't want you any more
when you're not part of a set.
Oh, what about that coffee urn?
LIBBY:
I have a better one somewhere.
ESTABROOKS: Oh, no, that's fine, honey.
Just bring that down.
LIBBY: No, it's dented.
ESTABROOKS: [ Chuckles ]
I don't mind.
Where's the step stool?
LIBBY: By the fridge.
LIBBY:
How about you bring it down?
ESTABROOKS: I can't reach that.
You're the one who's tall.
LIBBY:
I'm not climbing up there.
ESTABROOKS:
H-how far along are you?
LIBBY:
I'm not discussing this.
ESTABROOKS:
Oh. But it's wonderful.
Oh, I understand.
LIBBY:
No, I'm very, very serious, Essie.
I don't want to hear any words
that have anything to do
with my...condition.
I...
I don't want to tempt fate.
I haven't even told Bill.
But you have to tell him, dear.
I mean,
the father needs to know.
LIBBY: Maybe, uh,
we can use the broom,
and that can help us get it down.
Of course I'll tell him.
I'm just... I'm waiting
for the right time.
ESTABROOKS:
To share the happy news.
Well, my card club
will have coffee after all.
LIBBY: Essie, I'm very, very
glad that you've made friends,
but don't forget the real reason
that you moved here...
to be near Bill.
ESTABROOKS:
And to you and the...
LIBBY:
I know it's hard with him.
ESTABROOKS: Yes, when my son
gets an idea in his head,
it's hard to shake him of it.
LIBBY: I'm just saying, you...
You can't expect him
to meet you halfway.
And I really want
you two to be close...
closer, anyway.
I want to feel
like there's a family here.
LIBBY:
Please, Essie, please...
please make the effort with him.
Of course I will.
Don't you give it a thought.
MAN: That's what I said.
Well, what's the problem?
VIVIAN: H-hello. I'm...
JACOB: No women allowed.
VIVIAN:
I'm sorry. I didn't reali...
JACOB: Out.
LILLIAN: Banks... 79.
Robertson... 78.
Schacter... 64.
SCHACTER: [ Scoffs ]
Unbelievable.
LILLIAN: Did you say something,
Mr. Schacter?
You don't think it's fair I'm
reading the scores out loud?
SCHACTER: I don't, actually.
LILLIAN: Would you rather
I wrote them in blood
on your locker?
That's how I learned my scores
my first year of anatomy.
My fellow students
considered it a prank.
I quickly made sure I had
the best grades in class.
Maybe you'll be similarly inspired.
Steppling... 71.
Johnson... 99.
Rosen... 82.
TIM: Hey, Johnson.
You know, Banks and I
are in a study group.
TRAVIS: Yeah. Well,
you should be in it with us.
In fact,
you should probably run it.
LILLIAN: Goldman... 72.
WILLIAM: Lib?
She dozed off during "Perry Mason,"
so I insisted she head off to bed.
He's supposed to be so
incorruptible, that Perry Mason,
but he doctored a ballistics
test in this one.
Now what are you supposed
to think about him?
He's supposed to be the hero.
Can I heat something up for you?
There's still some turkey tetrazzini
left over from last night.
Libby had two helpings.
WILLIAM:
I ate at the hospital cafeteria.
ESTABROOKS: Oh? What?
WILLIAM: What did I eat?
ESTABROOKS:
[ Laughs ] Yes.
You don't remember that routine
we used to do
when you were little.
I'd give you a nickel for lunch,
and you'd buy yourself
some mac and cheese
at the school cafeteria,
and then when you got home,
I used to say to you,
"What did you eat for lunch?"
And you would say "Aw, ma."
WILLIAM:
I never called you "ma."
I don't want to argue, Billy.
I was just saying
to Libby tonight, in fact,
"He works so hard, my boy.
It's too bad he can't bring home
his work,"
especially if it's just paperwork.
- WILLIAM: It's not just paperwork.
- ESTABROOKS: Oh, no?
WILLIAM:
No, I'm doing a study.
Subject matter requires
we perform our research after hours.
ESTABROOKS:
Because the pregnant women
have to wait for their husbands
to come home
and... and drive them in?
Really, I'm interested.
I see how completely this work
absorbs you,
and I want to understand
what it is you do.
WILLIAM:
I'm not studying pregnant women.
I'm studying sex.
I watch people fornicate...
and masturbate.
Then I take down
their sexual histories,
I record the physiological changes
in their bodies, in their patterns,
idiosyncrasies.
And then I compile the data.
Still interested, ma?
ESTABROOKS: Well...Yes.
As a matter of fact, I am.
Were you hoping to shock me?
You can't... Not about sex.
Sex has been around
for a very long time.
It predates even me.
And everyone has done it,
except the Virgin Mary.
In fact, your father had
tremendous sexual appetites.
WILLIAM: If you'll excuse me,
mother, I, uh...
perhaps I have what's ailing Libby.
VIVIAN:
I just wanted some sense,
you know,
of what being jewish meant.
ETHAN: She went to
the orthodox temple on Delmar.
That's like saying
you want to learn to swim,
so you join the Navy.
VIVIAN: Well, I think it led
to a very good conversation
last night.
Ethan has realized that he...
Well, you explain it, honey.
ETHAN:
This really matters to Vivian...
religion, a church wedding.
I could really go either way,
so...I'm fine about converting
to her faith.
BIBB: Fine?
ETHAN:
It means a lot to Vivian.
VIVIAN:
And I'm thrilled, Reverend,
that Ethan is willing
to do that for me...
for us, for our children.
It's a gesture of real love.
BIBB: The first step is
to find a sponsor...
Somebody that you trust
not only as a friend
but with whom you feel
a spiritual connection.
Okay. Vivian can familiarize you
with church doctrine.
You'll study the Bible.
And when I feel you're ready,
Vivian will stand beside you
when you receive
the holy sacraments
and accept the body of Christ.
ETHAN:
That's it? There's no test?
BIBB: No.
You are declaring your faith
in front of the congregation by saying,
"I accept Jesus Christ as my savior."
VIVIAN: Just a few words.
What could be easier?
TIM: This is gonna be quick, right?
'Cause I got a psych lab.
VIRGINIA:
This is just a quick overview
before we actually start
our study group
tonight at 8:00, sharp.
The work divides very neatly
into each of us taking a subject
to lead each study group,
so, Tim, I have you
with epithelial,
skeletal, and histology.
TRAVIS: Did DePaul slip you
the answers to that last test?
Some sort of sisterhood thing?
VIRGINIA: You must be joking.
She hates me.
MASON: So, how did you get 99%?
VIRGINIA: I studied, hard,
just like you will do
on ear, eye,
and cranial nerves, Mason.
Charles, I have you with vessels
and circulation.
TIM:
And you're pre-med, right?
VIRGINIA:
I might be pre-med, someday.
I'm just trying to graduate.
TRAVIS: What, graduate?
For the first time?
CHARLES: Wow.
Either you're
the latest bloomer on Earth,
or you've been through anatomy
so many times,
a monkey could get a 99.
VIRGINIA: You know, I would send
my kids to their room
for a comment like that.
TIM: You have kids?
CHARLES: Nobody has kids.
VIRGINIA: Well, I will take that
as a backhanded compliment
that I look too young
to be a mother.
Charles, instead of vessels,
I now have you
on colon, bowel, and rectum,
parts I and II.
LIBBY: He was moving
when I brought him in.
ESTABROOKS:
The crash breaks their necks.
Sounds awful, but it's
the quickest way to go.
Come on. Let's put him
in the outside trash.
LIBBY: No, no,
the bird is my fault,
and I will take care of it.
ESTABROOKS: Your fault?
I don't understand.
LIBBY: What's the worst thing
you've ever done, Essie?
ESTABROOKS: Oh, heavens.
Where did that question come from?
LIBBY: I want to know.
I won't tell Bill.
I've done something wrong.
ESTABROOKS: Oh, honey,
we all do something we regret.
LIBBY: No, I mean recently,
and the thing I did...
Well, I just might have died...
inside, I mean...
[ Sighs ] If I hadn't done it.
And even if it's a bad thing,
that's the right reason
to do something, isn't it?
ESTABROOKS:
You mean to...save yourself?
Well, my mother did always say
you have to be
your own best friend.
LIBBY: Did you know that my
mother died when I was a girl?
ESTABROOKS: I did.
It's a terrible loss.
LIBBY: Then you don't know
the strange part is that,
a few days after the funeral,
my father disappeared.
ESTABROOKS: Bill told me
your father had passed on.
LIBBY:
Because that's what I tell people.
But the truth is...
one day he just...
didn't come home.
And my sisters and I were terrified,
sure that something terrible
had happened to him.
It took a few days,
but...a neighbor
tracked him down.
He had moved...to Virginia.
LIBBY: After that,
all I wanted was to grow up...
So that I could have a family.
So that I could have a happy ending.
ESTABROOKS:
You know what I think?
I think your happy ending is now.
You're not seeing my face, are you?
VIRGINIA: Remember, Lester,
below the collarbone.
WILLIAM: Her feet, please.
Lester, that means I'm finished.
LESTER: And cut.
WILLIAM: I noted at least five
myotonic responses.
LESTER: I was going for a kind
of Edward Steichen approach...
the body as landscape.
VIRGINIA:
I timed the carpopedal spasming
late in the excitement phase...
You?
WILLIAM: I saw it most acutely
in early plateau.
LESTER:
The undulation of stomach muscles
like ripples on a lake,
the spiking of fingers
like stalagmites...
JANE: Really? I did that?
LESTER: Well, it depends on where you
stand with the auteur theory, but...
WILLIAM:
Lester, we'd like to see
what we have here
as soon as possible.
When can you
have this developed?
LESTER: Me? Developed?
Oh, no, no, no, no.
VIRGINIA: What do you mean, no?
You develop all our film.
LESTER: The other films were...
indoor locations.
I told the boys down at the lab
it was a laryngoscopy.
Turns out a voice box and a,
you know, look really similar.
But tonight's film?
The lab boys know pornography
when they see it.
JANE: Pornography?
VIRGINIA:
It's not pornography.
WILLIAM: We're certainly not
the first people
to have filmed a sex act.
Where do other people get
that footage developed?
LESTER: You can try one of
those places down on Locust...
Not that I've been.
ESTABROOKS: Hello?
Yoo-hoo! Billy?
JANE: Who's that?
VIRGINIA: Is that your mother?
ESTABROOKS: Hello?
- WILLIAM: What are you doing here?
- ESTABROOKS: I brought you some dinner.
I thought you probably worked up
an appetite by now,
watching all that sex.
VIRGINIA: I'm impressed, Essie.
I... I would never
have expected you to be
so open-minded
about what we do here.
ESTABROOKS: Well, I wanted
to know what my son was up to,
and so if the mountain
won't come to Mohammed...
So, tell me, dear,
what is your part in this?
Um, well, generally, I...
masturbate.
ESTABROOKS: That's wonderful.
And, uh, is it Lester?
ESTABROOKS:
Do you masturbate, too?
- LESTER: Sometimes.
- ESTABROOKS: Oh.
LESTER:
I mean, you know, not here.
Am I tasting cream cheese?
ESTABROOKS: Yes.
It's my little secret. [ Chuckles ]
So, tell me, what secrets have
you people discovered tonight?
Come on. I'm all ears.
Sometimes people grab
at their partners during sex.
VIRGINIA: Um, and a romance
novel will tell you
that that is an expression
of passion or intimacy,
but what Bill and I are finding
is that it's actually something
that you can't control.
It's not desire.
It's an involuntary spasm.
That's what
we've been exploring tonight.
ESTABROOKS:
And you let people film you
while you're doing that?
JANE: Yep. I'm the first one
through the gate.
VIRGINIA: Yes.
There are so many
physical phenomena
that are just better recorded visually.
Like, uh, Bill,
what is the name of...
WILLIAM:
Sternocleidomastoid contraction.
JANE: I've had one of those?
VIRGINIA: It's a neck spasm.
WILLIAM: Opisthotonos.
VIRGINIA:
That's when your back arches.
ESTABROOKS:
So, you capture all of this on film
so that the whole world can see.
JANE: Oh, no. Just scientists.
I mean, right?
Just scientists will see?
VIRGINIA:
Yes, Bill. Black olives.
ESTABROOKS: Well, since when don't
you like black olives, Billy?
VIRGINIA: I think "detests"
is a better word for it.
I've learned how to spot them
from a mile away.
In fact, I hope you've recorded that
in my performance review, Bill.
"Mrs. Johnson continues
to distinguish herself
as my official food taster."
You haven't finished my evaluation.
WILLIAM: I'm working on it.
VIRGINIA:
What have you got so far?
Wait. Actually, let me guess.
I am an accurate typist?
Pleasant phone manner?
LESTER: In my review,
the head of my department
said I should focus more.
I wasn't sure how to take that.
WILLIAM: Let's not discuss
your review now.
VIRGINIA: Why not? In fact, why don't we
all just write my review here together?
WILLIAM: Virginia.
[ Sighs ]
VIRGINIA: Here it is.
Oh, you've actually made
some progress.
WILLIAM: Virginia.
VIRGINIA: "As an assistant,
Mrs. Johnson acquits herself
more than adequately."
ESTABROOKS: [ Laughs ]
Not a gusher, my son.
VIRGINIA: "Mrs. Johnson's
commitment to the work
cannot be underestimated."
JANE: A little short on detail.
I hope you put more detail
in mine.
VIRGINIA: "Were it not
"for Mrs. Johnson's conscientiousness,
"dedication, and enthusiasm,
"I would be at a complete loss.
She has become
absolutely invaluable to me."
WILLIAM:
Why don't you finish
writing your review yourself,
Virginia?
VIRGINIA:
This is... It's perfect.
WILLIAM: No, I'm sure you'll
come up with something better.
Actually, I have an errand to run.
ESTABROOKS:
At 10:00 at night?
VIRGINIA:
Well, our work never sleeps.
JEREMY: Sure,
we can develop it for you.
My boss has got a setup
in the basement.
We do a lot
of homemade stag films.
WILLIAM:
Well, this isn't a stag film.
It's documentary footage.
JEREMY: Oh, yeah?
Gazelles traipsing
across the savannah?
VIRGINIA: It's a film of a
woman's physiological reflexes
as she... she pleasures herself.
JEREMY: Oh, well,
if that's your deal,
I just got in
a 8-millimeter smoker...
"Ring My Bell,"
starring Rosemarie Bacardo.
Towards the end, there's some
good kink with a canoe paddle.
WILLIAM: Could you speak
to your boss, please,
see how quickly he could
turn around the footage?
JEREMY:
Yeah, he's in the back.
WILLIAM:
My feet are sticking to the floor.
VIRGINIA: Do you have a nickel?
What? We're here.
WILLIAM: Well?
- Oh, this woman is a terrible actress.
- VIRGINIA: [ Laughs ]
WILLIAM: Well, there's
no discernible detumescence,
no corrugation of the areolae.
The one thing you can't fake
is vasocongestion.
VIRGINIA:
And no woman will ever be able
to fool you again, Dr. Masters.
Not that I've ever needed to.
JEREMY:
So, Richie says leave it with him,
he'll have it ready for you Tuesday.
VIRGINIA: No, I promised Jane
we can't leave it.
WILLIAM: We're not leaving it.
He'll have to do it now.
JEREMY:
He's doing a mop-up now.
WILLIAM: We'll wait.
JEREMY: He's gonna charge you
extra for a fast turnaround.
WILLIAM: I'm not letting
this footage out of my sight.
I've heard there are places
that make duplicates.
JEREMY: Want to keep this little
lady all to yourself, huh?
- WILLIAM: The film isn't of her.
- JEREMY: Oh, that's a shame.
You should really consider putting
your girlfriend in pictures, pal.
I'd have customers lined up
around the block.
WILLIAM: Watch your mouth
around the lady.
Now hurry up and do this now.
VIVIAN: If we have time,
we could swing
by St. Peter's bookshop,
pick up a copy
of "Becoming a Christian."
ETHAN:
I can pick that up myself.
VIVIAN: No, I want to.
We're doing this together,
after all.
ETHAN: Actually, we're not.
I'm the one converting, remember?
I pretended my waffle
was the body of Christ
this morning just for practice.
VIVIAN:
Ethan, you shouldn't joke.
ETHAN: Which is exactly
the problem with religion.
You can't joke,
but you are supposed to believe
in magic bushes and floods
and three lousy fish
feeding thousands
of dusty, sandy people
in some desert.
VIVIAN: I don't need to you
to believe in those things.
I just need you to do this for me.
ETHAN: Because you want
to go to heaven.
VIVIAN: We're gonna be late.
ETHAN: Because you want
to get married in a church.
VIVIAN: I can see you're
getting testy about this,
and I really don't know why.
[ Engine turns over ]
After all, it's easy.
You just do a little studying
and stand up and say,
"The lord Jesus Christ is my savior."
You can do that, right?
ETHAN: Of course I can.
They're just words.
The lord Jesus Christ is my savior.
VIVIAN: See?
ETHAN: The lord Jesus Christ
is my savior.
- The lord Jesus Christ is my savior!
- VIVIAN: Ethan.
ETHAN: The lord...
[ Thud ]
- WOMAN: Oh, my God!
- ETHAN: Jesus Christ!
- ROGER: [ Groans ]
- WOMAN: Is he all right?
ETHAN:
Oh, my God! Don't move.
ROGER:
You hit me, you idiot!
ETHAN: I am so sorry.
No, don't move!
Something could be broken.
ROGER: Yeah... Your head,
the next time you pull
a stunt like that.
VIVIAN: We are so sorry.
He wasn't looking
where he was going.
ROGER: He almost killed me.
VIVIAN: He's usually
a very careful driver.
You're usually
a very careful driver,
aren't you, honey?
VIRGINIA: Oh, no. Last night.
I completely forgot.
TIM: We waited for you
for over an hour.
VIRGINIA:
Well, I got stuck at work.
There were a million things
happening here...
My boss's mother showed up,
and then we had to go to...
I will make it up to you.
We can have
a special lunch-hour session.
TIM:
We don't have lunch hours.
I have organic chem at 1:00.
Travis, too.
Charles has got crew practice.
VIRGINIA: Okay, well, then
another time during the day.
TIM: We can only do nights.
VIRGINIA: The problem is
that nights are tough for me.
TIM: Listen, maybe this
isn't a-a big deal for you.
You're old.
You've got this job.
You have kids.
But Charles is on academic probation,
and if I not get a "B",
my father won't pay
for my tuition anymore.
VIRGINIA:
Okay, well, first of all,
this is a big deal to me.
And I pay my own tuition,
which is part of the reason
why I have to work this job
and why I'm busy at night...
TIM: Okay, so you need
one thing. We need another.
I'm sorry it didn't work out.
VIRGINIA:
Fine. It's your loss.
I'm the one
with the nearly perfect scores.
TIM:
Which is the real reason I'm here.
Can we copy your notes?
SHIRLEY: Oh, if this isn't
the sweetest, cutest,
most darlingest thing
in the whole wide world!
VIRGINIA: Hi, Shirley.
SHIRLEY: Oh, hey, there, Gini.
VIRGINIA: How fun is this.
I didn't realize you
were having a baby shower.
SHIRLEY: Oh, you know Val.
Any excuse for us secretaries
to stuff our faces
with angel food cake
and gossip about our bosses.
JANE:
Pull up a chair, Virginia.
We can make room,
can't we, girls?
VIRGINIA:
Oh, that's all right.
I, uh... I have a lot of work
to catch up on while I eat.
Congratulations.
LILLIAN: Do you mind?
VIRGINIA:
Are you going to insult me?
LILLIAN: I don't think so.
My first year of med school,
I tried to sit
with my fellow students...
all men, of course, who made me feel
about as welcome as a case of piles.
And then I tried to sit
with the nurses.
That was a disaster.
It hasn't much changed
over the years.
VIRGINIA: So, what do you do?
Do you just eat alone
for the rest of your life?
LILLIAN: I focus on the work.
At the end of the day,
that's what endures.
That's the thing we leave behind.
WILLIAM:
Virginia, I need you to call...
Mother.
You show up in the evenings.
You show up during the day.
Do I need to call security?
ESTABROOKS:
I need to talk to you, son.
WILLIAM: Has something happened
to Libby?
ESTABROOKS:
Not anything bad, no.
I am...
I'm worried
that what I have to say
is going to come out
the wrong way.
WILLIAM: Well, whatever it is,
I'm sure it can wait
until I get home.
ESTABROOKS: No. I can't talk
to you about this at home.
Do you know what's
the worst thing I ever did?
The worst thing I ever did
was not to speak up.
I didn't speak up.
And I didn't stop
what was happening to you.
I didn't speak up
about a lot of things,
so I'm gonna speak up now.
I said your father was
a very sexual man, and he was.
He just wasn't sexual with me.
For many years,
he had a pretty secretary...
Eleanor de Sousa.
She was all high heels
and long, red nails.
She used to give you
saltwater taffy.
Do you remember?
WILLIAM: No.
And I don't know why...
ESTABROOKS: Because, Billy,
I can see that there's something
going on between you...
WILLIAM: Stop there, mother.
Virginia is my research assistant,
and I won't have you insinuating
anything improp...
ESTABROOKS:
I am just saying, Billy...
The man your father was
with Eleanor de Sousa
was the man he wanted to be.
And what we got at home
[scoffs] was very little.
I don't think "little" describes it.
ESTABROOKS: You don't want
to do that to your family.
WILLIAM:
This conversation is over.
ESTABROOKS: That's what
your father always used to say.
WILLIAM: Don't even begin
to compare him to me!
ESTABROOKS: You need to figure
out what you're doing, son.
And you need to start
by talking to your wife.
RISH:
Your vitals are fine, Dr. Haas.
Thank goodness the fall
wasn't worse.
I'll see about getting you discharged.
VIVIAN: What a relief.
ETHAN: Viv, why don't you go
handle the discharge papers?
LANGSHAW: St. Jude,
patron saint of lost causes.
ETHAN: Well, you don't look
like a lost cause.
LANGSHAW: [ Chuckles ]
Well, actually,
I have two prayer cards.
Would you...
Would you like one?
The other is St. Anthony,
patron saint of lost things.
ETHAN: Thanks,
but I haven't lost anything.
At least, I don't think I have.
LANGSHAW: You're not catholic?
ETHAN: No, I'm nothing.
I mean, I'm jewish,
but...I'm a doctor.
LANGSHAW: Well,
that's a religion of sorts.
My son's god was Pythagoras.
He always worshiped numbers,
starting when he was a boy.
- He's at M.I.T. now.
- ETHAN: That's a good school.
LANGSHAW: And what did you want
to do when you were young?
ETHAN: [ Chuckles ]
I'm not sure.
I played baseball.
I was a decent pitcher but, um...
I gave it up after high school.
I always tested well,
was good in math and science,
so Professor McAlary
suggested I go pre-med.
My parents, of course,
always wanted me to become
a doctor, and so...
I just...
[ Sighs ] I don't know...
LANGSHAW:
Floated that direction.
ETHAN: You know, the one time
I really did go after something...
it didn't work out.
LANGSHAW: Well, only the young
think floating is an option.
When you get to my age,
you... you learn floating...
floating is for boats.
ETHAN: [ Chuckles ]
[ Dramatic music plays, gunshot ]
[ Door opens ]
LIBBY: You're just in time
for the shootout.
[ Gunshots ]
[ Television shuts off ]
What is it?
WILLIAM: I don't know.
My, uh... my mother was adamant
I should talk to you.
About what, of course,
she, uh...
she wouldn't say.
Everything all right?
LIBBY: More than all right.
Uh...
Something has happened.
I can't say the words out loud
because I'm afraid
the wrath of God will just...
WILLIAM: You're...pregnant?
But that's, uh...
that's not possible.
LIBBY: It is.
WILLIAM: No, Libby, you're not.
I'm a fertility doctor.
It's... It's not possible.
The only way...
LIBBY: Yes.
The only way
I could get pregnant...
given that I'm barren...
with a uterus
incompatible with conception...
isn't that what you said?
It would be very difficult...
impossible, maybe...
for this to happen to me
with just our making love.
And yet it has happened.
And now all that matters
is that it is.
WILLIAM: I know my wife.
My wife would never...
LIBBY: Just like my husband
would never lie to me.
We have to forgive each other...
and move forward.
WILLIAM: You'll forgive me
if I... I don't see it that way.
Excuse me.
LIBBY:
You're not going anywhere, Bill.
You are in that exam room
night after night,
watching people have sex.
Human sexual response,
you call it.
But there is no humanity in it.
It is...important work,
but it's not life.
It's physiology.
It's... It's numbers.
Nothing that truly matters
in this world
can be measured like that.
The purpose of sex isn't an orgasm.
It is making life.
This is life.
This is love.
Without it...
you're just a man, lost in space,
calling out,
hoping to hear something back.
What I am...
what this baby is...
what a family is...
we're your echo.
ETHAN:
Uh, I'm going to pass on the bacon.
VIVIAN: Why? You love bacon.
ETHAN:
I like it, but...I don't know.
I'm gonna try something different.
VIVIAN: Ham?
ETHAN: I was just thinking
about my dad this morning.
He's never tasted bacon.
He was raised that way
by my grandparents.
He tried to raise us kids
that way, too.
I thought it was stupid,
and as soon as I could,
I ignored it
and ate whatever I wanted.
But it meant something to my dad.
And my dad means something to me.
VIVIAN: Everybody cares
about their parents.
ETHAN: But I never asked him.
"Why no bacon?"
"Why get circumcised?"
Why is some little wafer
supposed to be the body of Christ?
VIVIAN:
Your father believes in Christ?
ETHAN: No.
My point is that I...
VIVIAN: You're nervous
about converting.
ETHAN: [ Clears throat ]
I wouldn't say nervous...
Because I'm not going
to convert.
I understand
what this means for you.
I know you can't marry a jew.
VIVIAN: Why... Why not?
Because I...
Girls like me don't do that?
Because my parents won't understand?
I don't need to do whatever
everybody expects me to do.
ETHAN: But a church wedding
matters to you.
And you're a girl
that deserves that.
VIVIAN: You matter to me.
If we have to get married
in a courthouse,
then that's what we'll do.
ETHAN: And how would we
raise our children?
VIVIAN: The way that we decide
to raise them... Together.
Ethan, why are you suddenly acting
like you care about all of this stuff?
ETHAN: Because I should care
about something.
You know, sh-shouldn't I stand up
and declare myself about something?
VIVIAN: You're about to stand up
in front of everyone we know,
in front of everyone that we love,
and declare yourself to me.
You picked me.
ETHAN: No.
Viv, you picked me.
VIVIAN: What are you saying?
ETHAN: I'm saying,
if I could go back to when I was 20...
and design what I thought
was the perfect girl for me,
I would have designed you.
VIVIAN: [ Sniffles ]
And who would you design now?
[ Crying ]
JANE: [ Panting ]
VIRGINIA: What's the matter?
JANE:
I have to explain what's the matter?
VIRGINIA: Oh,
that's excellent footage, Jane.
In the first minute alone,
we've captured neck strain,
vasocongestion,
the start of a very promising
stomach-muscle spasm.
JANE: My stomach muscles,
my neck.
- VIRGINIA: You can't tell it's you.
- JANE: But that's the problem.
I know that it's me, but I don't
know who that girl is,
and, honestly,
I-I don't want to know.
VIRGINIA:
I'm... I don't understand.
JANE: Virginia...
I've not exactly been a saint,
as you know.
I've slept with a few men,
and...well, I like it.
I like the feeling of a man,
the weight of his body,
feeling like I don't exist
except as a million tiny
nerve endings.
And it can also feel
pretty great when I'm alone.
But it's an...
it's an inside feeling.
That's how I know sex.
That...
I don't want to see that,
and I don't want anyone else
to see it, either.
VIRGINIA: You've been fine
with this all along.
JANE: And I take pride
in the work that I've done here.
I do.
And I hope that you don't give me
a bad performance review because of this,
but...
I can't have this film out there.
I'm sorry.
I want you to promise me
you'll destroy it.
WOMAN:
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
VIRGINIA: Our girl has gone.
WILLIAM: I'm sorry?
VIRGINIA: Jane.
She won't do any more filming.
In fact, she asked us to destroy
the latest film.
I've already done it.
Now, I know you probably disagree,
but we owe her this much.
She's worked so hard for us.
This was... I don't know.
For some reason, it was
just too much for her.
WILLIAM: We paid her.
VIRGINIA: Well, I think
that's part of the problem.
Getting paid to show
her naked body?
To her mind, only hookers
and porn actors do that.
- She gave the money back.
- WILLIAM: I see.
VIRGINIA:
And so I've decided I'll do it.
WILLIAM: That's not necessary.
VIRGINIA: I've done other things
for the good of the study
because I believe in it.
And at the end of the day,
the work is what endures.
I do have one request, though.
I only want you in the room.
Lester... He's a very nice boy,
but I don't want him
seeing me like that.
Do you think
you could work the camera?
WILLIAM: Move down a bit.
There. Now you're in frame.
[ Camera whirring ]
VIRGINIA: [ Sighs ]
[ Panting ]
[ Door opens ]
Are you going to take the film in?
My screen debut?
WILLIAM: Ah. Yes, shortly.
VIRGINIA: Well, tomorrow,
I'll start looking into an editor,
'cause we need to cut it down,
- just to give people a rough idea of...
- WILLIAM: Virginia?
VIRGINIA: Mm-hmm?
WILLIAM:
I wanted to give you this.
VIRGINIA: You finished
my performance review?
No, this is way more
than you owe me.
The dictaphone didn't...
didn't cost half this much.
WILLIAM: It's not for
the dictaphone. It's for you.
VIRGINIA: I don't understand.
WILLIAM: It occurred to me,
I've been,
uh...taking advantage of you...
asking you to do for free
what every other person
who came through that door
has been compensated for.
VIRGINIA: You're joking.
This is... It's a joke, right?
WILLIAM: [ Clears throat ]
I came up with the amount
by, uh, adding up the times we've...
participated.
And there's extra
for the filming tonight,
what we would've paid Jane.
VIRGINIA: And you?
Did you pay yourself?
WILLIAM: Of course not.
It's my study.
VIRGINIA: It's our study.
WILLIAM: Right.
You shouldn't be
selling yourself short.
VIRGINIA:
I wouldn't sell myself, period.
You don't mean this...
Because if you...
if you mean this...
WILLIAM: Take the money.
I want you to have it.
VIRGINIA: [ Sighs ]
[ Door opens ]
[ Crying ]
[ Knock on window ]
ETHAN: You okay?
VIRGINIA: [ Sniffles ]
ETHAN: Hey.
VIRGINIA: No, everything's fine.
I'm just...
ETHAN:
I'm having a terrible day, too.
Do you want to be alone?
VIRGINIA: I don't know.
[ Door opens ]
EUSTACE: Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
We got a call...
Light bulb needs changing.
- WILLIAM: Go ahead.
- EUSTACE: You sure?
Now, generally,
I don't mind working this late.
My wife and me,
we're celebrating tonight.
I got the best performance
review of the whole crew today.
WILLIAM: Congratulations.
EUSTACE: How about you?
How'd you do?
WILLIAM: Not good, I'm afraid.
First, do no harm.
That's, uh...
what all physicians promise.
But I'm afraid I, uh...
I haven't lived up to that.
VIRGINIA:
Mrs. Virginia Johnson
has proven herself to be
a very competent assistant.
She has consistently demonstrated
a natural aptitude for the work,
an enthusiasm and dedication to it,
and an eagerness to take on
a larger and more integral role
as our research progresses.
There is one quality
that Mrs. Johnson possesses
that works both to her advantage
and to her disadvantage...
She cares very passionately
about everything she does.
To ensure that her professional
momentum continues apace,
it would be my recommendation
that Mrs. Johnson try not
to take her work so personally
and adopt
a more detached approach.
Office skills... Excellent.
Presentation... Excellent.
Punctuality... Needs work.