Masters of Sex (2013–2016): Season 1, Episode 8 - Love and Marriage - full transcript

Previously on
"Masters of Sex"...

William: Libby, we have a family.
Just the two of us...

That's enough for me.

Ethan: We can resume the capping
with Bill's frozen sperm,

but he knows the odds are
essentially a million to one.

If he thinks I've intervened,
he will have my head.

Vivian: Aren't you worried leaving
me alone in your apartment?

Ethan: Should I be?

My last girlfriend, she didn't
like spending the night.

I had my heart broken.

- Vivian: Is it over between you two?
- Ethan: That's the past.



You, me... that's the future.

William: Virginia. Dr. DePaul.

Whom we were lucky enough
to lure away from Cornell.

Lillian: I'm going to start
a clinical outreach program.

That could save
millions of women's lives.

Virginia: I know I don't have an M.D.,

but I do know which strings to pull
around here to get things done.

Lillian: $12,000 for the first 6 months.
Can you pull those strings?

- Austin: Mrs. Scully?
- Oh, Dr. Langham, w-what a nice surprise.

I've never had
any secrets from him.

But now I have you,
and I want to tell everyone.

- Austin: But you won't, right?
- Barton: This is complicated for me.

I mean, I love my wife.

We should undertake
the research with each other.



- We could go out for a bite.
- I can't.

I'm meeting Libby
for a late dinner.

All right, then.

- Well, did he say anything to you?
- Jane, don't worry.

He thinks...
You're a good secretary.

Well, he doesn't seem
happy at all.

Dr. Masters
rarely seems happy with anyone.

Now, there are a few things...
Minor things.

For example, when Dr. Masters
says "It's getting late,"

what he really means is
"You're staying late."

So I shouldn't ask
if I'm staying?

No, just assume that you are.

What he really expects of you
is to act like a seismometer,

registering his unspoken vibrations
from miles away.

Okay.

And he's very fussy
about his desk, as you know.

So, just remember, mail gets stacked
on the left, coffee on the right,

and no stray paper clips
anywhere, ever.

- No paper clips.
- Ever.

- And no mayonnaise.
- On his desk?

No, on his pressed
ham sandwich or any sandwich.

He'd prefer there were a law
against mayonnaise.

No mayonnaise, paper clips,
or questions.

That's right.

He's an odd one, Dr. Masters, but at least
he's not like my cousin Mae's boss.

She kept me on the phone
for two hours last night crying.

Crying?

Mae devoted her
entire life to Mr. Burwell...

That's his name.
Did everything he asked...

Typing, filing,

late-night sex
on the mimeograph.

Basically put all of her eggs
in his basket,

until one day, his wife got wind,
and Mae was o-u-t...

No severance,
no letter of recommendation.

He didn't just fire her.
He rubbed her out of existence.

That sounds... a little extreme.

Actually, it's
the oldest story in the book.

He was married, he felt guilty,
so she paid the price.

Anyway, do you want to try
the new snack shack for lunch?

Oh, I'd love to, but I have
some work to finish up at lunch.

Mrs. Masters?

Mm-hmm?

I'm Walter.

The handyman, Walter.
You called me about the gutters?

Of course. I'm so sorry.
Um...

From your voice
on the phone, I-I...

Thought you were older.

It's... it's this way.
Please. Come in.

Thank you.

Let me find you
the key to the shed.

- Can I get you a lemonade or...?
- No, thank you.

You probably think it's silly
to hire someone to clean your gutters.

It's usually the husband's job.

Mine works so hard, I can't remember
the last time he got around to it.

Well, I did check them
before I knocked.

I'd say he was last up there
around D-Day.

Actually, I think Hoover
was still president.

You can return these
when you're finished.

Yes, ma'am.

Dr. Johnson.

Dr. DePaul.

I was wondering if I might
take a moment of your time.

I'm busy.

Oh, I can see that,
but they look like they could wait.

Did you know every
teaching hospital in the country

assigns the bodies
donated to science a number?

Meaning the students have
no connection to the dead.

Instead, I ask families
to tell me names, stories,

anything about their loved one,

so that my students will understand
this was once a human being.

Well, I hope you
can be as generous with me.

I want to complete
my undergraduate degree,

and one of the requirements
for a B.S.

Is basic anatomy... your class.

But since I've logged
so many hours with Dr. Masters

and learned so much
about anatomy already,

I-I was hoping I could
place out of your class.

Why would you want a degree?

You're doing fine
using your other assets.

Because I'd like to avoid
comments like that in the future.

Look, there's obviously
no love lost between us,

so wouldn't it just be easier...

No.

No, you cannot
place out of my class.

Well, can I at least get partial
credit for my work with Dr. Masters?

No.

Well...

I suppose I'll see you
in class then.

...With service
to pueblo, Colorado,

with stops in Kansas City,
Wichita, and La Crosse,

now boarding on platform C.

All aboard.

Hi. I'm, uh...

Canceling these tickets, sir.

The Abraham Lincoln
southbound from Chicago...

- Here you are.
- Thank you.

The train will arrive
in one hour on platform A.

Austin.

Margaret.

I was, uh, wondering
if we could have...

We need to talk.

Uh, all right. Uh...

I-I'm, uh, beginning to have second
thoughts about our going away tonight.

In... in fact, I'm... I'm having second
thoughts about a number of things.

You mean about us seeing
each other?

Well, Margaret, that... is a blow.

But, of course, if... if you've
made up your mind...

I respect your decision.

Of course. Having your respect
is what matters most.

Well, I-I-it came to me
as I was... I was sitting here,

waiting for you, thinking
how I told my dear husband

I was going to visit
aunt Caroline,

an aunt he... he knows
I haven't seen in 10 years.

And... and I...

I realized I was gonna be stuck
with that aunt Caroline story forever.

And...

This was never anything more
than a casual fling, anyway.

Was it?

I will always
think of you with...

With such affection, Margaret.

Of course.

"Elevations of systolic
pressure are between 30mm to 80mm."

"Diastolic pressure elevations are
usually in the range of 20mm to 40mm."

"With minimal-intensity
orgasmic experience,"

"diastolic pressure readings
essentially may be unaffected."

I would read it with more
conviction at the actual presentation.

Well, you could read it
with a monkey on your hat.

I'm not sure that changes
the basic fact that...

What, I-it's... it's boring?

Isn't this why doctors publish
their findings in scientific journals,

where it's supposed to
be boring?

I don't want to
introduce our work in a paper.

I want to use
the Friday presentations.

I agree, but to stand up
there and read a list of statistics,

it's... it's not exactly going to set
the world or the Friday meetings on fire.

We're scientists...

Not arsonists.

Yes, but don't you
think w-we should start

with one of our
more dynamic findings,

like...

Vaginal contractions?

Every woman, myself included,
has experienced them,

but nobody knows they exist.

And we will present that... how?

We know they exist
because we've watched them,

but you can't wire up a vagina
for graphical verification.

And so the medical community
is left taking our word for it.

Do you know what we need?
Home movies.

I use a Brownie to film the kids'
school plays and birthdays.

And so the minute we work out how to,
uh, fit a Brownie into a woman's vagina,

our problem... is solved.

Uh, I think the male subject's
refractory period

is... resolving.

If so,
the time between resolution

and a secondary arousal
is 16 minutes, 33 seconds.

You don't trust my timing?

I'm expected home.

And I know you're trying to spend more
time with Libby in the evenings, so...

Uh, yes. Of course.
You're right, uh...

I lost track of the time.

I mean, we have
all the data we need, right?

I-I'll see you in the morning.

- Good night.
- Good night.

- Hey, kids!
- Daddy!

Guess who I ran into
at the hospital today.

Santa Claus!

In March?

- A machine gun!
- A lady Alice doll!

- Bam! Bam! Bam!
- Stop that. Stop it.

Elise, darling, for you.

It's a Hoover constellation
vacuum.

Top of the line.

It actually floats on air,
like a hovercraft.

- Don't shoot!
- Thank you, dear.

Bam! Bam! Whoa!

Aah!

Some poor woman is in tears.

Another, please.

She's late, is she?

Isn't everybody always late?

And everything is late...

Too late. Too, too late.

You picked the only nice place
in town for a proper drink.

I can see you're not
a regular here.

Oh, does my jacket look
like it's from Bull Shoals, Arkansas?

Because you are?

I moved to St. Louis
with a friend a year ago.

A friend?
I like that.

Are you living in sin
with this friend?

Is she pressuring you to marry?

We don't see each other anymore.

Yes. That's going around.
Seems to be a minor epidemic.

Hope you have
a pleasant evening.

Are you waiting for... Barton?

I was just
talking to your friend...

Dale.

Uh, Dale is a student
in my graduate advisory.

He has a very bright future
in pathology.

- Does he?
- Yeah.

I thought you were
at a board meeting tonight.

Canceled.
And aunt Caroline?

Sick.

The provost was nice enough
to call me last minute,

offer to advise me on
next year's courses over drinks.

But now that you're here, I-I think
I'll leave you two to a quiet evening.

- Yes, let's reschedule.
- Oh, no. I insist you join us.

No, I really can't intrude.

I do have a new girl now,

and she'll be thrilled if I show up,
surprise her, take her to a show.

- May I say something to you?
- Margaret, the boy wants to go.

No, I want Dale to hear this.

I'm very fond of Dale, despite
our very brief friendship.

Stay single.

I only say this to you
because when you're young and in love,

everyone thinks
they'll be the exception.

Sure, maybe mom and dad slept
in separate beds, and then separate rooms.

Maybe the older couples you know
bicker or fight...

Maybe don't talk at all,
if they ever did.

But at your age, you can't imagine
it will ever be you.

But it will be.

Which is bad enough,
but what's even worse...

...Is how much
you'll feel like a failure...

...Because when the person
who knows you best

loses interest,

that really
takes something out of you.

Like surgery almost.

And you really start
to wonder...

...If you'll ever
be whole again.

Anyway... I'm babbling.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

What in God's name...?

I was just sitting here.
She started talking to me. I...

That boy, Barton,
is not a graduate student.

Dale gets me women...

Professional women.

I came here tonight
to meet a prostitute.

It's not the first time
I've done this.

And now that that ugly secret
is out in the open,

maybe we should go in
on a room together

with whoever
you're here to fuck!

I...

I'll get myself home.

Obviously,
there's a great deal of overlap

between the digestive
and the endocrine...

But before we explore
the similarities,

let me make my policy on
punctuality perfectly clear...

It's mandatory.

I apologize I'm late,
Dr. DePaul.

Dr. Johnson's sorry.

Who can identify this organ?

Mr. Deasy?

- Liver.
- Spleen.

No, Mr. Deasy. It's the spleen.

Which will be on the exam, gentlemen,
so I suggest you wake up.

Mr. Banks?

Lester?

- Lester?!
- Jesus!

Dr. Masters.
I thought you were Nosferatu.

The Akeley pancake camera,

used to shoot the first full-length
documentary, "Nanook of the North."

Arriflex 35...
Same camera they used

to shoot "Dark Passage"
with Bogie and Bacall.

Piece of garbage.

I mean, in what universe
is Agnes Moorhead the killer?

And what is, uh...
What is this?

It's a lesterscope...
Patent pending. I, uh, like to tinker.

Five hours ago, that baby was
down the throat of a Chinaman

with an esophageal tumor.

It's been sterilized.

And this device shoots film?

I-I wouldn't shoot
a Western with it, but sure.

Can I count on
your discretion, Lester?

Because what I'm proposing

is not like the cesarean footage
you shot for me last month.

I'm now conducting some, uh...

Unusual medical research.

And I could use someone

with your particular expertise.

What is it?

It's... a lens, essentially.

Cold light illumination?

I'm a bit of a tinkerer myself.

My question for you, Lester, is

can you turn that lens
into a functional

and fully operational
movie camera?

♪ You can't have one
without the other ♪

♪ Love and marriage ♪

♪ Love and marriage ♪

♪ It's an institute
you can't disparage ♪

♪ Ask the local gentry ♪

♪ And they will say
it's elementary ♪

♪ Try, try,
try to separate them ♪

♪ It's an illusion ♪

♪ Try, try, try,
and you will only come ♪

♪ To this conclusion ♪

♪ Love and marriage ♪

♪ Love and marriage ♪

♪ Go together
like a horse and carriage ♪

♪ Dad was told by mother ♪

♪ You can't have one,
you can't have none ♪

♪ You can't have one
without the other ♪

I'd like to take you
out tonight...

A date.

Jack Lemmon and Judy Holliday
are playing at the Everstone.

Y-you want to take me
to the drive-in?

Gutters are
as good as new, ma'am.

Uh, except your son's
been missing this.

Uh, would you like
to settle up now or...?

Of course.
I'll get your money.

Something wrong?

Uh, no. Not at all.

I've, uh... I've always loved
these ein houses.

I just never met anybody
who actually lived in one.

You're an architecture buff?

I spend all day
fixing up folks' houses.

You pick things up.

Do you know anything
about plumbing?

There's a leaky faucet in the bathroom
that's driving us crazy.

Sure.

I don't normally
watch television during the day.

I just happen to be
an Arthur Murray fan.

So was my wife.

Uh, she'd, uh, watch,

and insist that we go dancing
every Saturday night

to try to do them one better.

- Are you going this Saturday?
- No, I'm not. Uh, my wife, she passed.

Uh, she got sick unexpectedly.

I'm so sorry.

It's easier if you think less.

- Yes. I've found that to be true.
- About the dancing.

Now, when I was outside,
I could see you were counting beats.

- Oh.
- You've got to think with your feet.

Now, what they're doing right now,
that's called the tango.

That first step's
a little tricky,

but you go slow, slow,
quick, quick, slow.

That's the pattern.

- Can you do it? Oh, please.
- Oh, it... it's been a long time.

Okay.

Try closing your eyes.

- I should hire you to be my teacher.
- No, I...

I mean it. We could watch
the show and practice the steps.

Then I'd have something
to dazzle my husband with

some Saturday night
at the Imperial.

Ah, I couldn't
take money for that, ma'am.

Why not?
It's just another odd job.

Now, see?
You're still counting.

Steak sandwich?

Thanks, Viv.

I had resigned myself to Welsh rarebit.
Instead, I got steak.

- Hey, I got a question for you.
- Hmm?

Where can a guy
find a decent ring?

- Don't tell me you knocked her up.
- What? No.

But Vivian and I have been
seeing each other a while now.

I think it's time to start
considering the future.

- Why would you do that?
- Because...

My old man was 20 when he married
my mother. I'm pushing 30.

And...

I've sown my oats.

Maybe more than my share.

Married men live longer.

- Definitely feels longer.
- There are great tax benefits.

And every man who's ever amounted
to anything had a wife at home.

34 presidents
of the United States,

and only one of them
was a bachelor,

and no one remembers his name.

James Buchanan.

Friends come and go.
Kids grow up and move away.

Even your patients
can get a second opinion.

But your wife...

She's the one
that sticks beside you,

no matter your faults...
And failings.

I've met Elise.

She... she's a lovely woman.

And with all respect, you're not
exactly husband of the century.

You're lucky Elise has hung in there.
You ought to buy her something.

I bought her a vacuum.
She didn't care that it hovered.

You ought to buy her
something nice.

To show her that loyalty and devotion
are still appreciated in this world.

There is a decent
jeweler over on Washington.

I know they film the outside
of vaginas in those kinds of films,

but filming the inside?

I don't think
I've ever heard of that.

Because it's never
been done before.

And to think it could be you
on the cutting edge of science.

- I think it's creepy.
- Creepy? Why?

Is it creepy to film a heart
during a bypass?

It's done all the time now.

Besides, nobody will even know
it's you.

It will just look like
an anonymous organ.

Like...

One of those hand models
in those ads for dish soap?

Yes, exactly,

but for something slightly more
important than sparkling China.

In high school, I was voted
most likely to be in pictures.

See? Not only is it not creepy,
it was meant to be.

But anyone who's anyone
in movies always has a screen name.

Okay, then, you can
have a screen name, too.

Beave St. Marie.

I gave it a complete overhaul and
retrofitted it with a relay lens system.

- And it shoots in color?
- At 24 frames per second.

You know,
a lot of movie directors

invent their own cameras...
Georges Méliés, Orson Welles.

Not that I'd compare myself
to Welles, but...

- No?
- Stylistically, I'm closer to Hitchcock.

Does Ulysses
still have a vibrating function?

I had to disable it.

Why would a camera have a vibrating
function? That would ruin the focus.

The vibrating sensation
helps some women achieve orgasm.

Lester Linden, our documentarian,
this is patient F-26-002.

- Pleasure.
- Ma'am.

Okay, then.
Guess I'm ready for my close-up.

She controls the device,
but you control the camera.

Now, the trick here
will be focus.

Vaginas don't bite.

Tell me when to start.

When should she start, Lester?
You're the director.

Action.

I fear Lester may have
been in over his head tonight.

So to speak.

Well, I suppose all we can do

is wait and see
what "hitch" comes back with.

We still have time
to get some work in.

Uh, actually, I was hoping we might
postpone our session until tomorrow night.

Because...?

It turns out
I have something to do tonight.

Dr. Lloyd Danes. 79 years old.

He and wife Susan had four
children, nine grandchildren.

An ophthalmologist,
a fly fisherman.

He played the accordion every
Saturday night at Dooley’s.

Can you play
the accordion, Mr. Deasy?

- No, ma'am.
- I didn't think so.

Ladies first.

Smelling salts
for Mr. Banks, please.

Well, anyhow, I can tell everything about
a person from their canceled checks.

- Can you tell about me?
- Everything.

- Everything?
- Everything.

Well...
Is it all right?

Well, yes.

You're frivolous,
romantic, generous,

somewhat over-impulsive.

You're ambitious.
You're a little scatterbrained.

You also have a weakness...

Why do you keep looking at me?

Because I'd take you
over Judy Holliday any day.

Do you know how many times in our marriage
I've wondered if you were insane?

But you taking me here, now, given
everything... This is proof.

More proof.

We didn't have drive-ins
in our day.

We didn't need them. We were
married when we first slept together.

- We were of our time.
- That's not why we waited.

Barton...

I-I have spent the day racking
my brains, pacing, wondering...

"Maybe I should
light his clothes on fire."

"Maybe I should drive his car
into the pool."

"Maybe I should tell him all
about the man I've been seeing,"

who, by the way, wanted me in his bed,
though he didn't love me.

- Marg... Margaret...
- I don't say this to punish you,

although God knows
you deserve to be punished.

I mean, prostitutes?

That is so insulting to me
and so far beneath you.

I will... I will... I will never
do it again ever. I swear to you.

Even if you never
laid a hand on a hooker again,

that wouldn't change what is
so impossible to understand.

This morning, when you came
in my room, I was practically naked,

and you didn't look
at my body once.

Not once.

And yet your face
was filled with such...

Love.

Because I love you.
You know that.

We didn't sleep
together before we were married

because you weren't interested
in sleeping with me.

And I excused it away by saying passion
is for teenagers and... nymphomaniacs.

Passion is not what makes
a good marriage.

This is a perfect,
beautiful man who loves me,

who doesn't care
that I'm tall and athletic,

who doesn't...

Doesn't want me
to act stupider than I am.

This is a man
who understands me.

And 30 years later,
we're still the best of friends.

How many people can say that?

It's not enough.

- We have to divorce.
- What?!

- Absolutely not!
- We have to.

Margaret...

I'm the person who knows you best.
I know you don't want a divorce.

- But this is broken.
- And I do not want a divorce.

- Barton.
- So we're not getting divorced.

This marriage of ours is broken.

And unless you want me
to break along with it...

You have to let me go.

It wasn't very long after I met
Nina that she got her promotion...

Her first chance
to write a radio show.

I thought only students
haunted the library at this hour.

I found our work tonight
with Dr. Danes very exciting.

The accordionist/
ophthalmologist.

If you'll excuse me, I need
to prepare for my presentation tomorrow.

The pap-smear proposal?

Dr. Masters
is planning to be there.

Well, that makes one.

Have you ever seen
a roomful of male doctors

listen to a lecture
on female cancers?

They're not exactly riveted?

Not exactly.

Men are such idiots.
Even the smart ones.

You should ask a friend to go
and clap loudly.

Uh, sometimes a-a ringer helps.

I don't want their adulation.
I just want them to support me.

This work
is very important to me.

Then I'm sure
it will go your way.

Lower thoracic? You should
be much further along than that.

Underestimate my exam
at your own peril.

I wouldn't be here at this hour
if I underestimated your exam.

Teardrops are popular.
What color are your wife's eyes?

Brown. Uh,
more green, maybe?

Let's say hazel.

In which case, you can't
go wrong with emeralds.

What about this one?

What is that... 1/10 of a carat?

You'll have to buy her
a microscope to go with that.

No, let's see, um...

Let's see this one.

Remember, the ring's supposed
to cost at least two months' salary.

I'm still a fellow.
You know what they pay me.

I was in med school
when I proposed to Elise...

Actually hocked my car
to buy her a ring.

I was gonna take her to Chez nous,
get the chef to stick it in a cream puff.

But she swallowed it?

I missed the date.

There was a stomach bug
going around.

She found me passed out
on the bathroom floor.

She drove me
to the emergency room.

So there I was, okay?

I was... oh, thank you...
Sprawled on a gurney,

and the ring falls out
of my coat pocket.

Well, I could barely sit up.

But I said to her, "Everything
I own is in that ring."

"And it's yours
if you'll take me."

Everybody in the E.R. applauded.

Do you have a layaway plan?

There's a popular misconception

the pap smear requires
costly equipment

and lots of training
to administer...

Training you won't find outside
a world-class hospital like this one.

Well, it seems expensive now,
but don't forget, a ring lasts forever.

It's teachable,
and it saves women's lives.

And Vivian will be thrilled.

Women always are...
At the beginning.

Next slide, please.

Next slide!

This sample was taken
from a 42-year-old patient

with no family history
of malignancy.

Note the poorly differentiated
cells...

Stage iv cervical cancer.

With early screening, this woman
could have been cured.

Instead, she has
early metastases to the liver.

Would anyone care to venture
a prognosis?

She's terminal, obviously.

Which is why it's incumbent
on hospitals like this one

to lead the charge
in Pap test education.

What I'm proposing is a pilot
program to train country doctors

to become proficient
in deduction...

How 'bout that Dr. DePaul?
Guaranteed cure for insomnia.

...Treatment for their patients
once the results have been determined.

The possibility...

The truth is, I can feel
resistance to my plan already.

You saw that room.

And the administration
is already rumbling

there's insufficient funding
for my proposal.

Funding...
A process that will leave you

feeling like the Minotaur
in the maze.

I have six months.

Funding can take years.

Hmm. You seem to have gotten
your study funded quickly enough.

My study is mainly
paid out of pocket... mine.

Including
Mrs. Johnson's salary?

Primarily.

She functions
as more than a secretary,

but the hospital
won't subsidize her

for her research work
because she's uncredentialed.

It galls me to say it, but
she may be one of my better students.

Her credential
might not be far off.

She's doing well, then?

Exam's tomorrow. We'll see.

The bottom line is, I need
to push my proposal through,

I need to do it now,

and I'm not going to be shy
about asking for your help.

I'm ready to head to room 5 now.

You?

I've been, uh...

I've been thinking
about something.

Uh, you've mentioned
several times

about continuing...
Your education.

Yes, uh...

Your... your point was always
that the timing was off.

Hmm. But it's important to you.

Then... if you want to
pick up a class

here and there in the evenings,

I won't object.

You've been
talking to Dr. DePaul?

No.

I'm actually
sitting in on her anatomy class.

Ahh.

Taking it, in fact,
for credit...

Now.

Excellent.

Um, of course, you could have
told me, but, uh...

How's it going?

W-we have
our first big test tomorrow.

Well, you should
be at home, studying.

Uh, w-we can resume our work
tomorrow night.

- Are you sure?
- Very sure.

I can't...

I can't tell you how much
that means to me, Bill.

- Well...
- Thank you.

And I will never let my classes
interfere with our work here.

Good luck tomorrow.

Mmm...

The heart?

No, it's in his head.

Right... temporal fossa.

Good.

I don't know why
you're even doing this.

To get a degree.
I explained that to you, didn't I?

Icky blue vein?

No?

But why do you need a degree
when you already have a job?

Because, uh,
a degree is like magic.

You still do your job,
but when you have a degree,

people believe you know
what you're talking about.

So, it's like
they can see you better?

Yes, in fact.

And it's why you two are
going to go to college one day,

so people see you
right from the start.

Will you still be
in college when we go there?

At this rate, probably.

Inferior vena cava.

Good job, mom.

I'm glad you came back,

although I thought these
earrings were for your wife.

My wife doesn't
appreciate my gifts anymore.

That's just wrong...

A man so romantic and generous.

You know, when you slipped
that ring on my finger today...

Hmm?

...My stomach got
that roller-coaster feeling.

- You know why?
- Why?

Because that moment,
that is the moment.

That is the moment
when everything is good.

Half-day?

Uh, for us both, it seems.

How are you progressing
with the sex study?

Very well.

Uh...

We've amassed an unprecedented
amount of data.

We've killed a few sacred cows
along the way.

We've opened up many new doors.
It's, uh...

Well, it's ground-breaking work.

I think a presentation
is not too far in the future.

I look forward to it.

Have you come across
any information

about people's abilities
to change their sexual habits?

- I-I only ask...
- I know why you're asking.

Uh, I've run across
a few treatments.

Uh, I can't verify they work.

I've also been
doing some reading.

Apparently, there's, uh...
Aversion therapy...

- And electroshock.
- Jesus, Barton.

Wha...

I do know a psychologist
in New York, Dr. Sandor Rado.

He's been touting
something he calls

"Adaptational Psychodynamics."

Hmm.

Sounds like something
Pavlov did to dogs.

It's a form of aversion therapy.

Patient's given a drug...
Apomorphine.

It induces nausea
while the patient engages

in the behavior
that he wishes to change.

The hope is the brain rewires itself
to perceive the activity it used to enjoy

as, uh... repulsive.

I wish I could be of more help.

You're standing here.

That's enough.

Dr. DePaul,
if I can bend your ear?

Are you ready to hatch a plan
to raid the hospital's coffers?

It's about, uh,
a smaller matter.

Uh, Mrs. Johnson
might come to you

to, uh, sign up
for another class.

Um, I would appreciate it if
you would tell me if she does.

You can't ask her yourself?

Mrs. Johnson has a tendency
to overfill her plate.

Her work on the study
is time-consuming...

Uh, important.

Her course work
is getting in the way?

Well, the study
needs to be a priority.

Because if she did manage
to stand on her own two feet,

that would mean
she could walk away.

Fine.

You help me, I'll help you.

Save my spot, will you?

I have a little something
I want to...

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

How do you feel about German?

The language?

Good housekeeping
has a schnitzel recipe

that I thought I could come
around and cook for you tonight.

Actually, I have plans tonight.

And so do you. I'm taking
you out, someplace special.

- Where are we going?
- Top secret. Wear a dress.

Ooh, tea length or floor length?

Surprise me.

But is the restaurant
formal? Should I wear gloves?

- It's Delmonico’s.
- Delmonico's?!

My cousin Frances went to
Delmonico’s with a boyfriend,

and she came back with a fiancé.

Really?!

All the girls in the dorm
call it "The Hitching Post."

Should I be getting a manicure
or something to show off tomorrow?

A manicure is never a bad idea.

Is it a brilliant cut
or an emerald cut?

- The diamond.
- I-I don't know.

W-well, they're
completely different styles.

One's round.
The other's rectangular.

- I-I think it's kind of football shaped.
- A marquise cut?

I suppose I'd have to look.

Yes! Yes, I'll marry you!

Oh, my God!
I have to call my mother!

Hey, doc. You're up.

Dr. Langham.

I was wondering if a new bone
disease had been discovered,

we hadn't seen you in so long.

I want back in the study.

That, um... issue

I was dealing with that time before,
it's no longer an issue.

Oh, meaning you want
back in the study with Jane?

It doesn't have to be Jane.
No, you and Bill have a study to run.

I understand that.

Whoever you want to
put me with is fine.

In fact, I'm open
to anyone, everyone.

I know it's all
in the service to science.

Right.

Well, yeah, we could always
use good subjects.

I'm better than good.
I'm back. Excuse me.

Then I'll sign you up.

One of the perks
of being a doctor...

I can let myself into
the dispensary anytime I want.

- But the point of this drug...
- Apomorphine.

...Is to make you sick?

I take it, and you...
Pleasure yourself.

Maybe just sit there.

Point is, I look at you,
I get sick,

and then I'm cured
of this terrible habit.

I don't know.
It doesn't seem right.

I'm paying you.

I don't think that's the point!

It is the point.
It's why you're here, isn't it?

If I stopped paying, it's not
as if you'd ask to see me again.

- I like your company.
- Oh, don't hustle me.

Who says it's a hustle?

Because there is
no universe where you and I

are anything other
than a business transaction!

I'll pay you double...

Triple, whatever you want.

Don't make me beg for this.

I'm just trying to picture it.

I sit across from you,
and you vomit.

Hell, if I wanted that reaction, I could
just go home and visit my parents.

I'm not proud of this!

I mean...

Do I look in the mirror and
wish that I was someone else?

Maybe once a day.
But then I think...

Fuck them.

I mean it. Fuck them!

Don't be a child.

Because I'm the one cowering
in a dark room like a baby?

No.

There's only one person
that gets to be sickened by me.

And that's me.

Everybody else...

...They can go fuck themselves.

You should change your mind.

When you do,
you know where to find me.

Look at this. Somebody's
gonna have to give me lessons.

I hope my wife is watching,

because she would be proud
of this tango.

You know, I heard somewhere your feet can
cover five miles in a night of dancing.

And I figured my wife and I must have
danced the tango from here to Zanzibar.

What a lovely story.

Mrs. Masters?

Mrs. Masters?!

- You're sure I can't call your husband?
- Oh, I feel fine.

And I don't want to worry him
till we know what's going on.

You were so good to bring me, Walter,
but y-you don't have to stay.

I don't have anywhere to be.

Mrs. Masters? I'll be quick.

You can have your boy
bring the car around.

Oh, he's not my boy,
he's, um...

Uh, he's the handyman.

I'll wait outside.

Well, I think
we found our culprit.

Your blood pressure is 100/65.

That's very low.

Yes, but a little hypotension
is nothing to fret about.

It's your hormones.

They cause your blood vessels
to widen,

increase the blood flow
to the baby.

To the...

We see it all the time
in the first trimester.

It's harmless.

So long as you don't get
too dizzy,

your pregnancy should proceed
without any problems at all.

How did your exam go?

I have no idea.

You should see
the other students in the class.

I am quite the outsider
in that world.

In many worlds, I suppose.

Not here.

I'm not even sure
I'll keep taking classes.

We're plenty busy here.

Well, whatever you decide.
It's up to you.

I thought you disabled
the vibrating function.

I did.
That's Lester's hands shaking.

Well, in his defense,
I don't think he's ever seen

the outside of a vagina,
let alone the inside of one.

I think that's
the refractory period ending.

The time between resolution
and secondary arousal...

13 minutes, 3 seconds.

I cannot believe
you find this footage arousing.

No, it's not the footage.

It's the fact that we're
the only two people in the world

who've seen it.