Mary Tyler Moore (1970–1977): Season 3, Episode 21 - Murray Faces Life - full transcript

♪ WHO CAN TURN THE
WORLD ON WITH HER SMILE ♪

♪ WHO CAN TAKE A NOTHING DAY ♪

♪ AND SUDDENLY MAKE IT
ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE ♪

♪ WELL, IT'S YOU, GIRL
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT ♪

♪ WITH EACH GLANCE AND EVERY
LITTLE MOVEMENT YOU SHOW IT ♪

♪ LOVE IS ALL AROUND
NO NEED TO WASTE IT ♪

♪ YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWN
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪♪

[Mary] MR. GRANT!

YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.



I KNOW, BUT IF YOU
THINK I LOOK GREAT,

WAIT TILL GINGER
ROGERS SHOWS UP.

OH, WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS?
THE BLACK TIE, RUFFLED SHIRT.

YEAH, WELL. HEY, WHAT TIME IS
THAT PRESS CLUB AFFAIR ANYWAY?

OH, I GOT PLENTY OF TIME.

BOY, ARE WE GONNA THROW CHRIS
MATTHEWS A BASH HE WON'T SOON FORGET.

IT ISN'T EVERY DAY A LOCAL REPORTER
WINS THE PULITZER PRIZE, HUH?

YEAH. TONIGHT WE
TOAST ONE OF OUR OWN.

I GUESS YOU'RE REALLY
PROUD OF HIM, HUH?

AS A MATTER OF
FACT, I'M SO PROUD,

I THINK I'M GONNA GO
TOAST HIM RIGHT NOW.

HEY, MURRAY, YOU BELONG TO
THAT PRESS CLUB, DON'T YOU?

- YEAH.
- SO HOW COME YOU'RE
NOT GOING TONIGHT?

- IT'S TOO DEPRESSING.
- DEPRESSING?



MURRAY, RUSH THESE
OVER TO MASTER CONTROL.

MURRAY THE MESSENGER BOY.

WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH HIM? I DON'T KNOW.

[Rings] NEWSROOM.

OH, HI, RHODA.

YEAH, SURE. I CAN PICK YOU UP.
OKAY. WE'LL HAVE DINNER TOO.

I'LL MEET YOU AT THE CORNER OF LAKE
AND NICOLETTE IN WHAT, 20 MINUTES?

OKAY. SEE YOU THEN. BYE-BYE.

HOW'S MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY
COMING, MARY?

OH, FINE, TED. I TYPED
TEN MORE PAGES FOR YOU.

I'D LIKE TO TRY A NEW
TITLE ON YOU, MAR. MM-HMM?

THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD.

I, UH, THINK THAT'S
BEEN TAKEN, TED.

OH, YEAH... CIRCUS MOVIE.

HERE YOU GO, TED.
TEN TYPED PAGES.

ALL RIGHT. [Chuckles]

SURE, A DOLLAR A PAGE.

YOU WANNA PROOFREAD IT FIRST?

OH, NO, THANKS,
MAR. I TRUST YOU.

I WOULD LIKE TO READ IT OVER,
THOUGH, FOR ANY MISTAKES.

MARY, DID YOU EVER FEEL LIKE
JUST GOING OUT ALL BY YOURSELF...

AND GETTING BOMBED
OUT OF YOUR MIND?

HEY, MURRAY, WHAT IS IT?
YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT IT?

- BLOTTO, YOU KNOW. THAT'S ALL.
- MURRAY.

SMASHED, SNOCKERED. HEY, MURRAY.

PUMMELED, PLASTERED,
LOOPED. MURR!

BLACKED OUT, YOU KNOW?
REALLY BOOZED UP. HEY!

LOOK, UH, WHY DON'T
WE GO GET SOME COFFEE?

MARY, I THINK YOU
MISSED MY POINT.

COME ON.

HI, RHODA. HI.

- RHODA!
- YES. YES. RHODA.

- [Groans]
- RHODA, WHO WAS PROMISED
SHE WOULD BE PICKED UP...

AT 7:00 TONIGHT, AND WHO
WAITED ON THE CORNER...

OF NICOLETTE AND LAKE FOR
TWO HOURS AND 12 MINUTES.

- YOU DIDN'T WAIT ALL THAT TIME?
- YES, AND YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?

BECAUSE YOU ARE THE MOST
RELIABLE PERSON IN THE WORLD.

I KNEW YOU'D SHOW UP. OH.

I'M SO SORRY.

IT'S JUST THAT SOMETHING VERY
IMPORTANT CAME UP AT THE NEWSROOM.

I KNEW IT, KID. I REALLY DID.

I KNEW YOU HAD TO HAVE
A REALLY GOOD REASON.

YEAH. I HAD TO HAVE
COFFEE WITH MURRAY.

RHODA, HE WAS TALKING ABOUT
GOING OUT AND GETTING SMASHED,

AND I TRIED TO
TALK HIM OUT OF IT.

SMASHED? ARE WE TALKING
ABOUT SWEET, GENTLE MURRAY?

HMM. WHAT'S BOTHERING HIM?

WELL, IT'S NOTHING THAT
HE CAN PUT INTO WORDS.

I MEAN, I... HE JUST SORT
OF PUTS IT INTO SIGHS.

SOUNDS LIKE A CONVERSATION
WITH MY MOTHER.

CAN WE DISCUSS THIS OVER DINNER?

I HAD DINNER WITH MURRAY.

OH, MARY. HEY, HOW
ABOUT A SANDWICH?

YEAH, OKAY. THAT'LL BE GREAT.

RHODA, I REALLY FEEL
AWFUL ABOUT THIS.

AW, LISTEN, FORGET ABOUT
IT, KID. WE'VE ALL DONE THAT.

ONCE WHEN I WAS
IN GRAMMAR SCHOOL,

I WAS SUPPOSED TO PICK UP MY
LITTLE BROTHER FROM KINDERGARTEN.

- I FORGOT ALL ABOUT HIM.
- I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD
A LITTLE BROTHER.

I DON'T ANYMORE. HE WANDERED
AWAY. THEY NEVER FOUND HIM.

ANY SIGN OF HIM? UH-UH.

HE HASN'T CALLED.
HE'S THREE HOURS LATE.

HE'S NEVER BEEN
THREE MINUTES LATE.

MR. GRANT, MAYBE WE'RE
JUST WORRIED FOR NOTHING.

YEAH, MAYBE IT'S NOTHING.
MAYBE HE'S JUST REAL SICK.

I'M GONNA CALL MARIE.
GOOD. CALL MARIE.

WAIT A MINUTE.

IF I CALL MARIE AND HE'S NOT
HOME, WE'LL JUST WORRY HER.

MARY, YOU CAN FIND OUT IF MURRAY'S
THERE WITHOUT GIVING AWAY ANYTHING.

[Sighs]

HELLO, MARIE. IT'S MARY.

OH, FINE, THANKS. AND YOU?

GREAT. AND THE KIDS?

GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.

AND EVERYBODY ELSE?

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT... THAT
IS EVERYBODY ELSE, ISN'T IT?

EXCEPT FOR MURRAY,

AND OF COURSE, WE ALL
KNOW HOW MURRAY IS.

SO, MARIE,

MR. GRANT IS CALLING.

HELLO, MARIE.

OH, WELL, IT HAS BEEN
A LONG TIME, HASN'T IT?

OH, YEAH.

WELL, I JUST THOUGHT
I'D CALL AND SAY HELLO.

[Chuckles] BECAUSE IT'S BEEN SO
LONG SINCE WE'VE SEEN EACH OTHER.

MMM. WHAT?

DINNER?

OH, YEAH. YEAH, THAT'D
BE... THAT'D BE FINE.

THURSDAY? YEAH, THURSDAY
WOULD BE REAL GOOD.

MM-HMM. YEAH.

NO KIDDING. TWO EXTRA TICKETS?

HA. OH, BOY, IT'S LUCKY
I CALLED THEN, HUH?

YEAH. OKAY. UH-HUH.

I GUESS THAT'S IT THEN. YEAH.

MM-HMM. MM-HMM.

YEAH. THURSDAY, DINNER
AND THE AUSTRALIAN BALLET.

RIGHT. BYE, BYE, MARIE.

THANKS A LOT, MARY.

[Ted] AND FINALLY, IN
ORLANDO, FLORIDA, YESTERDAY,

A JUDGE ORDERED WILLIE McKEEVER,
WHO'D BEEN ARRESTED FOR DRUNKEN DRIVING,

TO GO AND GET HIMSELF
A NEW DRIVER'S LICENSE...

SO THAT THE JUDGE
COULD REVOKE IT.

THIS IS TED BAXTER. GOOD
NIGHT AND GOOD NEWS.

I KNOW. I'M LATE.

MURRAY! MURRAY! HOW YOU DOING?

OH, MURRAY, YOU'RE HERE.

AND YOU'RE ALL RIGHT? ALL
RIGHT, NOW WAIT A MINUTE.

BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING,
YOU WERE GONE ALL DAY, RIGHT?

RIGHT. WELL, I JUST WANT
YOU TO KNOW THAT IT'S OKAY,

AND IF YOU DON'T WANT TO
TELL US WHERE YOU WERE,

THAT'S OKAY TOO.

I WENT TO THE MOVIES.

YOU WENT TO THE MOVIES?
THE MOVIES, YOU WENT TO?

MARY WAS WORRIED SICK. I HAD
TO WRITE TED'S COPY FOR YOU,

AND YOU WENT TO THE
MOVIES? MR. GRANT?

UH, HE'S... [Mouths Words]

UH...

LISTEN, MURRAY, SO
YOU MISSED A DAY, HMM?

EVERYBODY'S ENTITLED TO
MISS ONE DAY ONCE IN A WHILE.

LOU?

I THINK I'M GOING TO THE
MOVIES AGAIN TOMORROW.

WELL, EVERYBODY'S
ENTITLED TO MISS...

TWO DAYS ONCE IN A WHILE.

PROBABLY OUGHT TO FIRE ME.

MURRAY, NOBODY'S GONNA FIRE
YOU. WHY? YOU DON'T NEED ME.

I WAS OUT ALL DAY, YOU GOT THE
SHOW ON THE AIR. NOBODY MISSED ME.

HEY, MURRAY, WE ALL MISSED YOU.

WE REALLY DID. MURRAY, I
JUST WANT TO TELL YOU...

THAT YOUR COPY HAD THAT
EXTRA-ADDED ZING TONIGHT.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

I TELL YOU WHAT.

LET'S ALL GO INTO MY OFFICE
AND HAVE A GOOD STIFF BELT.

THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, MR. GRANT. LET'S
ALL GO IN AND HAVE A GOOD STIFF BELT.

COME ON.

STRAIGHT SHOTS ALL
AROUND? UH, SURE.

HEY, MURRAY, DO YOU THINK
IT WOULD HELP IF YOU KIND OF...

OPENED UP AND JUST TOLD US EXACTLY
WHAT IT IS THAT'S BOTHERING YOU?

MAYBE IT WOULD, IF I KNEW.

MURRAY, I THINK I
KNOW WHAT IT IS.

YOU'RE DEPRESSED BECAUSE
YOU WENT TO SCHOOL...

WITH CHRIS MATTHEWS.

HMM? ALL RIGHT.

NOW HE'S A BIG-SHOT
REPORTER WITH A PULITZER PRIZE,

AND ALL YOU ARE
IS A NEWS WRITER...

STUCK IN A LOCAL TWO-BIT
OPERATION. MR. GRANT...

- NO, MARY. HE'S RIGHT.
- OKAY. SO IT'S THE WORK?

- YEAH.
- WELL, I CAN DO
SOMETHING ABOUT THAT.

- AND IT'S THE MONEY.
- WELL, I CAN DO SOMETHING
ABOUT THAT.

- AND MY MARRIAGE.
- MARY?

MURRAY, YOUR MARRIAGE?
MARY, YOU KNOW I LOVE MARIE.

IT'S JUST THAT, WELL, I ALWAYS
PICTURED COMING HOME AT NIGHT...

AND HAVING WITTY
CONVERSATIONS OVER MARTINIS.

YOU KNOW WHAT WE
TALKED ABOUT LAST NIGHT?

WHETHER WE SHOULD
CHANGE BUTCHERS.

I MEAN, MARIE IS
NOT GLORIA STEINEM.

WELL, WHAT'S THIS GLORIA
STEINEM THING YOU HAVE?

I MEAN, TAKE AWAY GLORIA STEINEM'S
SUPER INTELLECT AND WHAT DO YOU GOT?

NEVER MIND. BAD EXAMPLE.

YEAH, AND THAT'S
WHAT BUGS ME TOO.

YOU KNOW, LAST WEEK I REALIZED THAT I'M
NEVER, EVER GONNA MEET GLORIA STEINEM.

OR SOPHIA LOREN.

MURRAY, YOU'RE A LITTLE
DOWN ABOUT MARRIAGE.

I'VE BEEN THERE.

CARLO PONTI'S BEEN THERE.

I USED TO THINK THAT, WELL, I MIGHT
HAVE A SHOT AT THE PULITZER PRIZE...

OR THAT I COULD BECOME
A CONCERT PIANIST...

OR THAT MY HAIR WOULD
STOP COMING OUT IN THE COMB.

WELL, IT FINALLY STOPPED. OKAY.

OKAY.

YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT
MY DREAM WAS? I'LL TELL YOU.

TO PLAY CENTER FIELD
FOR THE NEW YORK GIANTS...

IN THE POLO GROUNDS.

I DON'T PLAY CENTER FIELD.

THERE'S NO NEW YORK GIANTS.

AND IN 1964, MURRAY,

THEY TORE DOWN THE POLO GROUNDS.

MURRAY, LIFE IS...

LIFE IS THIS... RIGHT HERE.

YEAH.

BUT I'M 40 YEARS OLD.

I'M HERE NOW.

WHERE AM I GONNA
BE IN TEN YEARS?

OH, MURRAY.

WILL YOU STOP WORRYING
SO MUCH ABOUT THE FUTURE...

AND JUST TAKE LIFE AS IT COMES?

RIGHT.

WHAT, DO YOU
MEAN JUST LIVE LIFE...

FROM MOMENT TO MOMENT? RIGHT.

- YOU MEAN FOR THIS MOMENT
RIGHT NOW?
- [Together] RIGHT.

THIS IS THE WORST MOMENT
I EVER HAD IN MY LIFE.

[Rhoda, Knocking] MAR?

YEAH. COME ON IN. HI, KID.

GOT A LETTER FROM MY MOTHER.
OH. WHAT'D SHE HAVE TO SAY?

I HAVEN'T OPENED IT YET, MAR.

I'M AFRAID TO READ HER
LETTERS WHEN I'M ALONE.

SO LET'S SEE WHAT'S
HAPPENING ACROSS THE MILES.

AH.

OH, GREAT.

- GREAT. THIS IS GREAT.
- RHODA, WHAT ARE YOU
"OH, GREATING" ABOUT?

WELL, THE DICHTERS GOT DIVORCED,
UNCLE MAX WENT BROKE IN BUSINESS,

AND MY COUSIN EDITH, SHE HAD
HER GALL BLADDER REMOVED.

AND THIS IS PAGE ONE, MAR.

[Groans] UNCLE LEONARD DIED.

OH, RHODA, I'M SORRY.
WERE YOU VERY CLOSE?

NEVER MET THE MAN.

UNCLE MAX I MET,
OH, YEARS AGO, ONCE.

COUSIN EDITH, I
CAN'T PLACE HER, MAR.

MAKES ME CRAZY.

I MEAN, FROM THIS
LETTER I GET THE FEELING...

THAT HAD I ONCE JUST
DROPPED THEM A LINE,

THEY WOULD BE ALIVE, HAPPILY
MARRIED, SUCCESSFUL IN BUSINESS...

AND STILL HAVE
THEIR GALL BLADDERS.

BOY. AREN'T YOU GONNA
FINISH READING IT?

NO, I AM NOT. MY MOTHER
PUTS THE CHEERY STUFF IN FIRST.

YOU KNOW, TO HOOK ME.

MARY, THAT WOMAN COULD
DEPRESS JOHNNY MANN.

YOU OUGHT TO TRY BEING
AROUND MURRAY THESE DAYS.

OH, IS HE STILL IN
THAT FUNK? YEAH.

YOU KNOW, I KNOW
WHAT THAT IS, MARY.

I READ AN ARTICLE
IN COSMOPOLITAN.

THEY TELL YOU
EXACTLY WHAT TO DO...

WHEN A MAN GETS TO
THAT STAGE IN LIFE...

WHEN HE FEELS DOWN, DEPRESSED
AND LIKE NOBODY WANTS HIM.

- WHAT DID IT SAY?
- DROP HIM.

THERE'S GOTTA BE
SOME WAY TO REACH HIM.

MR. GRANT'S TRYING TO HELP HIM BY
GIVING HIM SOME ON-CAMERA STUFF TO DO.

OH, YEAH. I REMEMBER
THE LAST TIME HE DID THAT.

OH, YEAH? WE WERE HOPING
PEOPLE MIGHT HAVE FORGOTTEN.

NO CHANCE. HE WAS TERRIBLE.

BUT IT WASN'T HIS FAULT.

THE POOR MAN WAS SO AFRAID HIS TOUPEE WAS
GONNA FALL OFF, HE DIDN'T MOVE HIS LIPS.

[Laughing]

MARY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

OH, I'M JUST, UH, DOING A
LITTLE PERSONAL TYPING FOR TED.

HE'S BEEN DICTATING A BOOK
INTO THE TAPE RECORDER.

A BOOK? TED? YEAH.

RIGHT. [Laughs]

- WHAT IS IT, A COMEDY?
- [Laughing] YEAH, IN A WAY.

IT'S HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY.

[Bangs Desk]

- HEY, MURR, WHAT IS IT?
- TED'S WRITING
HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY.

THE GREATEST
STRAIGHT LINE I EVER HAD,

AND NOTHING IS COMING TO ME.

AW, MURRAY, ARE YOU
STILL FEELING THAT WAY?

HEY, DIDN'T THE MAN-ON-THE-STREET
INTERVIEWS GO WELL?

I DON'T THINK SO. LOU'S
LOOKING AT THE FILM RIGHT NOW.

WELL, WILL YOU STOP WORRYING?

I'M SURE HE'S GONNA LIKE
THEM VERY MUCH. YEAH.

I KNEW IT.

I KNEW I SHOULDN'T
HAVE SENT HIM.

YOU TALKING ABOUT
MURRAY'S INTERVIEW?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT HIS
QUESTION OF THE DAY WAS?

"WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU KNEW THE
WORLD WAS COMING TO AN END TOMORROW?"

WELL, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

MARY.

TWO NUNS BROKE INTO TEARS BECAUSE
HE LOOKED LIKE HE KNEW SOMETHING.

GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT, LOU. WHAT
DID YOU THINK ABOUT MY INTERVIEWS?

WELL, THEY, UH... TERRIBLE, HUH?

NO. NO.

NO. NO, NO.

NO. NO, NOT AT ALL.

NOT AT ALL. NO.

I, UH, UH, THOUGHT THERE WAS SOME
REALLY GOOD STUFF THERE, MURRAY.

SOME REALLY GOOD
STUFF. OH, YEAH?

YEAH. WELL, WHEN YOU
GONNA SHOW IT ON THE AIR?

WELL, UH, I'D LIKE TO
PUT IT ON RIGHT AWAY,

BUT WE HAVE THIS OTHER FILM WE HAVE
TO PUT ON FIRST, YOU KNOW, WHILE IT'S HOT.

- WHICH FILM, LOU?
- WELL, UH,

THE ONE ON, UH,
SAFETY IN THE BATHROOM.

OH, SAY, MURR, I JUST SAW
THAT INTERVIEW YOU DID.

- OH, YEAH, TED? WHAT'D YOU THINK ABOUT IT?
- [Whistles]

[Imitates Explosion]

YOU FINISHED WITH
MY MEMOIRS YET, MARY?

NO, TED, I'M JUST
UP TO CHAPTER 27.

AH, YES... THE YEARS
OF TRIUMPH. RIGHT.

YOUR HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION.

I HAVE TO HAVE THAT
CHAPTER BY TONIGHT, MARY.

I'M HAVING A MEETING WITH MY
PUBLISHER FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

I'LL DROP IT OFF AT YOUR
APARTMENT AS SOON AS I'VE FINISHED.

FINE, MARY. [Chuckles]

SAY, IF YOU WANT TO
HAVE A FEW LAUGHS,

STOP IN AND SEE THAT MURRAY
INTERVIEW BEFORE YOU GO HOME.

UH, TED, COULD YOU SIT DOWN FOR
A MINUTE? I'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU.

SURE.

TED, I'D LIKE YOU TO START
BEING NICE TO MURRAY.

WHY, IS HE BEING
PROMOTED OR SOMETHING?

MURRAY IS GOING THROUGH
A VERY DIFFICULT TIME.

HE'S UNHAPPY.

HE'S TALKING ABOUT
QUITTING. QUITTING?

YOU CAN'T JUST GO AROUND TELLING
THE MAN THAT HE'S... [Imitates Explosion]

YOU GOTTA SHOW SOME
SYMPATHY UNTIL HE SNAPS OUT OF IT.

GOTCHA.

SAY, MURR,

YOU KNOW WHEN I, I DID
THAT LITTLE BOMB THING?

- WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN IT
DEROGATORILY.
- IT'S OKAY, TED.

YOU GOING STRAIGHT HOME, MURRAY?

UH, NO, I THINK I'LL GO
TO THE HOCKEY MATCH.

YOU KNOW, MARIE THOUGHT
IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA...

IF I SPENT ONE NIGHT
A WEEK WITH THE BOYS.

[Chuckles] AFTER BEING
MARRIED FOR TEN YEARS,

I DON'T KNOW ANY BOYS.
WELL, SURE YOU DO.

YOU'RE GONNA BE MY
GUEST TONIGHT, MURRAY.

OKAY, WHY NOT? FIRST
WE'LL HAVE A LITTLE DINNER.

THEN WE'LL GO TO SOME
OF MY BACHELOR HAUNTS.

IT'S GONNA BE A
GREAT NIGHT, MURR.

UH, CAN WE USE YOUR
CAR? I'VE GOT A FULL TANK.

WELL, HERE IT IS, MURRAY...

THE SILVER FOX'S LAIR. [Laughs]

I DECORATED IT ALL MYSELF.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO TELL ME.

IT'S AMAZING. THIS IS
JUST HOW I PICTURED IT.

MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME, MURR.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SIT
IN MY VIBRATING CHAIR?

UH, THANKS, TED, BUT, UH,

I ALREADY HAD ENOUGH
EXCITEMENT FOR ONE EVENING.

SAY, MAYBE WE CAN GO
DOWN TO THE REC ROOM...

AND PLAY A LITTLE PING-PONG.

THERE'S ALWAYS A COUPLE OF CHICKS DOWN
THERE WE CAN PLAY MIXED DOUBLES WITH.

UH, NO, I'LL PASS ON
THE PING-PONG, TED.

- HOW ABOUT A DRINK?
- UH, THANKS,

BUT I ALREADY HAD TOO MUCH WHEN
WE WERE RUNNING FROM BAR TO BAR.

WELL, I THINK I'LL HAVE ONE.

WHICH ONE OF THOSE PIANO
BARS WAS YOUR FAVORITE, MURRAY?

I THINK THE LAST ONE,

WHERE YOU LEANED ON THE
PIANO AND SANG "I GOTTA BE ME."

THAT WAS MY FAVORITE TOO.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO
HEAR IT AGAIN? ♪ I ♪

I THINK I'LL HAVE THAT DRINK
NOW, TED. THAT'S GREAT.

WE'LL HAVE A COUPLE
OF BELTS AND LOOSEN UP.

THEN WE'LL REALLY TALK ABOUT
WHAT IT IS THAT'S EATING YOU.

UH, THANKS, TED, BUT, UH,

I REALLY DON'T WANT
TO TALK ABOUT IT.

YOU STILL FEEL A LITTLE DOWN,
HUH? YEAH, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

MAYBE... MAYBE YOU'LL FEEL
LIKE TALKING TO FLUFFY THEN.

FLUFFY? IT'S REALLY TERRIFIC.

YOU KNOW, WHEN THE STEWARDESSES
AROUND HERE GET A LITTLE DEPRESSED,

I LET 'EM TALK TO FLUFFY, AND IT
ALWAYS CHEERS 'EM RIGHT UP AGAIN.

I NEVER KNEW STEWARDESSES
GOT DEPRESSED.

NOT WITH FLUFFY
AROUND, THEY DON'T.

HIYA, MURRAY. MARY TELLS ME YOU
FEEL A LITTLE DEPRESSED LATELY.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT?

GO AHEAD.

TALK TO HIM.

YOU'D LIKE TO TALK TO
MURRAY, WOULDN'T YOU, FLUFFY?

YEAH, TED, I'D LIKE TO
TALK TO HIM MAN-TO-DOG.

[Laughs]

YOU'RE A HAPPY
MAN, AREN'T YOU, TED?

YEAH, I... SURE, I GUESS I AM.

WHY?

WHY AM I HAPPY?

WELL, I GUESS ONE
OF THE REASONS IS...

THAT I'M THE BEST DARN
NEWSCASTER IN MINNEAPOLIS-ST. PAUL.

TED, NOW, YOU DON'T
REALLY BELIEVE THAT.

YOU'RE DARN RIGHT I DO.

IF I DIDN'T BELIEVE
IT, I WOULDN'T BE...

THE BEST DARN NEWSCASTER
IN MINNEAPOLIS-ST. PAUL.

AND I AM, AREN'T I, FLUFFY?

YOU BET YOU ARE, TED. [Laughs]

DON'T YOU EVER GET DEPRESSED?

WELL, SURE I GET DEPRESSED.

ALL SENSITIVE, DEEP-THINKING
PEOPLE GET DEPRESSED.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU
DO TO SNAP OUT OF IT?

WELL, I... OPEN THE
DOORS OF MY CLOSET,

LOOK AT ALL MY CLOTHES.

- [Doorbell Rings]
- OH.

THAT MUST BE THE CHICK IN
208 COMING UP FOR A NIGHTCAP.

HI, TED. OH, IT'S JUST YOU.

COME ON IN.

- OH, UH, HERE YOU GO, TED. HI, MURRAY.
- MAR.

HOW DO YOU LIKE THE OLD
PAD, MAR? WELL, WELL, WELL.

IT CERTAINLY IS YOU,
ISN'T IT? THANK YOU.

WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK,
MAR? NO, NO, THANK YOU.

SO, MURRAY, HOW YOU FEELING?

UH, YOU KNOW. I'VE BEEN
TRYING TO PEP HIM UP, MAR.

EVEN HAD OLD FLUFFY TALK TO
HIM. SAY HELLO TO MARY, FLUFFY.

OH, NO, THAT'S OKAY, TED.
HI, MARY. HOW ARE YOU?

HI. FINE, THANK YOU.

MAR, SEE WHAT YOU
CAN DO WITH THIS LUG.

I MEAN, HE'S REALLY
DOWN IN THE OLD DUMPS.

WELL, YOU KNOW,
MURRAY, I THINK...

THAT WE'VE BEEN ALL WRONG
ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING.

I MEAN, WHY ARE WE
TRYING TO CHEER YOU UP?

IF YOU FEEL SAD,
YOU SHOULD BE SAD.

I WAS A LITTLE SAD
MYSELF TODAY. SO WAS I.

AND I KNOW THE LAST THING
IN THE WORLD I WANTED...

WAS SOMEBODY
TRYING TO CHEER ME UP.

YOU SHOULD FEEL WHAT YOU
FEEL. IF YOU'RE SAD, BE SAD.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA, MAR.
LET'S ALL LET IT HANG OUT.

LET'S ALL BE SAD TOGETHER.

[Phone Rings]

UH, I'VE GOTTA GET THAT.
WE'LL BE SAD IN A MINUTE.

[Rings] PROBABLY
THE CHICK IN 208.

SHE JUST WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE.

HOW YOU DOING, SWEETHEART?

OH, HIYA, MOM.

UH, I'LL, UH, I'LL CALL
YOU RIGHT BACK.

UH, EXCUSE ME.

WELL, I GUESS I'LL BE GOING.

- YEAH, ME TOO.
- WELL, I'LL SEE YOU
MONDAY MORNING THEN.

YEAH, I'LL SEE YOU
MONDAY MORNING,

AND, UH, LOOK, THANKS
FOR THE ADVICE...

ABOUT JUST LETTING
MYSELF BE SAD.

RIGHT.

OH, MURRAY, DON'T BE SAD.

WHEN YOU'RE SAD IT JUST
MAKES ME FEEL... [Sobbing]

SO SAD.

WELL, I, LOOK, I THINK
I'M COMING OUT OF IT.

REALLY. REALLY?

YEAH. LOOK.

SEE? IS THAT SAD? [Chuckles]

- DOGGONE IT, MURRAY! YOU GOT A GOOD LIFE.
- YEAH.

- YOU GOT A WONDERFUL FAMILY.
- YEAH.

- YOU GOT GOOD FRIENDS
WHO REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU.
- YEAH.

SO WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES
IT MAKE IF SOME GUY YOU

WENT TO COLLEGE WITH
WINS THE PULITZER PRIZE?

[Moans] I WENT ONE
TOO FAR, DIDN'T I?

MARY, YOU DIDN'T. YOU
DID ME A LOT OF GOOD.

I JUST NEVER REALIZED...

SO MANY PEOPLE WERE
AFFECTED BY HOW I FELT.

DOESN'T HELP MUCH,

BUT IT SURE MAKES ME FEEL GOOD.

OH, MURRAY. [Laughs]

SAY, MAR, REMEMBER, I WAS
FEELING A LITTLE DOWN MYSELF TODAY.

YOU KNOW HOW THEY SAY
EVERYBODY HAS A BOOK IN HIM?

I THINK IN TED'S
CASE IT WAS JUST GAS.

HOW'S IT COMING, MAR?
FINE, TED. ALL FINISHED.

YOU HAVE THE REST OF
THE MONEY YOU OWE ME?

OH.

WHAT'S THE TITLE, TED?

"TED BAXTER'S GOOD NIGHT
AND GOOD NEWS, BY TED BAXTER,

VOLUME ONE."

OH. YOU KNOW, I THINK
I HAVE A BETTER TITLE.

I LED NO LIVES.

[Mews]