Mary Tyler Moore (1970–1977): Season 3, Episode 20 - What Do You Do When the Boss Says 'I Love You' - full transcript

The station's latest program director, to who Lou reports, has just been fired. Lou is nonplussed about the news as a program director is a program director, to who he pays little attention regardless. Mary thinks that he'll not think quite that way when she learns that the new program director is a woman, Barbara Coleman. Lou doesn't give Mary the satisfaction of seeing him uncomfortable by the news. As two female executives, Barbara and Mary bond. That's why Barbara feels comfortable enough in telling Mary that she's fallen in love with Lou despite the fact that he's married. As such, Mary feels like she needs to be Barbara and Lou's chaperon to make sure nothing happens between them, but if something does happen, she doesn't want to know. Being the person in the middle, Mary however does become Lou's confidante as well.

♪ WHO CAN TURN THE
WORLD ON WITH HER SMILE ♪

♪ WHO CAN TAKE A NOTHING DAY ♪

♪ AND SUDDENLY MAKE IT
ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE ♪

♪ WELL, IT'S YOU, GIRL
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT ♪

♪ WITH EACH GLANCE AND EVERY
LITTLE MOVEMENT YOU SHOW IT ♪

♪ LOVE IS ALL AROUND
NO NEED TO WASTE IT ♪

♪ YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWN
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪♪

GOOD MORNING, MURRAY. HIYA, MAR.

HAVE A NICE WEEKEND?



DID YOU EVER HAVE ONE OF THOSE GREAT
WEEKENDS WHERE EVERYTHING WENT RIGHT?

YEAH. NOT ME.

[Crying] MARY.

DORIS.

- WHAT'S THE MATTER?
- THEY FIRED MY BOSS.

OH, DORIS. COME ON IN.

HERE. SIT DOWN. NO,
NO. REALLY. I'LL BE OKAY.

[Sniffling] OH.

DORIS, REALLY, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
GET USED TO YOUR BOSSES BEING FIRED.

NO, THANKS. NO.

YEAH. PROGRAM DIRECTORS
DON'T LAST HERE VERY LONG.

[Mary] DID IT JUST
HAPPEN THIS MORNING?

NO. FRIDAY. LAST FRIDAY.

AND YOU'VE BEEN
CRYING ALL THIS TIME?



NO. JUST FRIDAY AND TODAY.

I HAD COMPANY OVER THE WEEKEND.

MARY, GET ME THE FILE ON
THE NEW HIGHWAY. YES, SIR.

THEY CANNED SNYDER, HUH? OH!

THERE'S A MEMO HERE, MR. GRANT,
ON THE NEW PROGRAM DIRECTOR.

THANKS, MARY. I KNEW YOU'D
WANNA SEE IT RIGHT AWAY.

NOT REALLY. WHY DON'T YOU
JUST LEAVE IT ON MY DESK. RIGHT.

I THOUGHT YOU'D BE REALLY CURIOUS TO
KNOW WHO YOUR NEW BOSS IS GONNA BE.

- AREN'T YOU CURIOUS,
MR. GRANT?
- NOT REALLY.

WELL, I WILL READ
IT TO YOU THEN.

IT'S NOT A VERY LONG MEMO.

IT JUST NAMES THE NAME OF THE
PERSON WHO IS REPLACING SNYDER.

ALL RIGHT. WHAT'S
HIS NAME, MARY?

HIS NAME... IS BARBARA COLEMAN.

OH.

I SEE.

IT'S A WOMAN.

YOU CAME IN HERE ALL HAPPY...

BECAUSE YOU WERE
GOING TO BE CUTE...

TO SEE MY REACTION TO
WORKING FOR A WOMAN.

OH...

WELL, LOOK CLOSELY, MARY,
BECAUSE HERE'S MY REACTION.

COME ON, MR. GRANT. I WAS JUST
HAVING FUN WITH YOU. HI, GUYS.

SAY, ANYBODY KNOW WHO
THE NEW SECRETARY IS?

CUTE LITTLE BRUNETTE
WITH A GREAT HEINIE.

I WAS GOING UP WITH
HER IN THE ELEVATOR.

GAVE HER THE OFFICIAL TED BAXTER
PINCHAREENO, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

[Imitates Crank, Giggles]

UH, WHY DON'T
YOU READ THIS, TED?

IT MIGHT TELL YOU WHO
IT WAS YOU DID THAT TO.

[Clears Throat]

"MEMO TO ALL DEPARTMENTS."

TED. TED, PLEASE JUST
READ IT TO YOURSELF.

I'M SORRY. I THOUGHT I WAS.

LOU. HMM?

YOU DON'T THINK THAT CUTE
BRUNETTE IN THE ELEVATOR IS REALLY...

COULD BE, TED.

AFTER ALL, I WAS ONLY
HAVING A LITTLE FUN.

SHE WOULDN'T BE UPSET OVER A
LITTLE THING LIKE THAT, WOULD SHE?

AND EVEN IF SHE IS, I MEAN,
WHAT IS SHE GONNA DO TO ME?

I'M THE BIGGEST STAR
ON THE STATION. [Chuckling]

BESIDES, SHE PROBABLY
WOULDN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE ME.

I WONDER HOW FAST
I CAN GROW A BEARD.

AND WILL YOU SIGN
THIS ONE TOO. MM-HMM.

- [Slurred] HI, LOU.
- PHILLY.

YOU WANNA
ARM-WRESTLE FOR A DRINK?

PHILLY, WE ONLY DO THAT WHEN
I COME DOWN TO THE SALOON.

YOU DON'T COME TO MY OFFICE
TO ARM-WRESTLE ME FOR A DRINK.

I KNOW, BUT YOU WON'T BE
THERE TILL AFTER THE SHOW.

AND THAT'S ANOTHER TWO HOURS.

YOU DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND.

THIS IS A NEWSROOM... YOU
WOULDN'T WANT ME TO LOSE MY EDGE...

AND HAVE TO WATCH TED SOBER.

[Murray] HE'S RIGHT.

COME ON IN THE OFFICE.
WE'LL ARM-WRESTLE IN THERE.

HIYA, PHILLY. NICE
TO SEE YA, PHILLY.

WISH ME LUCK.

EXCUSE ME. YES?

I'M BARBARA COLEMAN. OH! OH, HI.

HI. WELCOME TO OUR STATION.

WELL, TO YOUR
STATION. THANK YOU.

I'M MARY RICHARDS. I'M THE...

THE ASSOCIATE PRODUCER.
YES, I KNOW. NICE TO MEET YOU.

THANK YOU. WHERE
CAN I FIND LOU GRANT?

AH. MR. GRANT IS IN... A
MEETING, UH, RIGHT NOW.

UH, SO, WOULD YOU
LIKE TO COME BACK?

OH, NO, NO. THIS IS MY LAST
STOP. I THINK I'LL JUST WAIT.

WELL, PLEASE, SIT
DOWN. THANK YOU.

BOY, I AM REALLY EXHAUSTED.

FIRST DAY ON A
NEW JOB IS MURDER.

WOULD YOU LIKE A CUP
OF COFFEE WHILE YOU WAIT?

TERRIFIC. I REALLY NEED IT.
CREAM AND SUGAR PLEASE.

OH. MURRAY SLAUGHTER,
THIS IS BARBARA COLEMAN.

THE NEW PROGRAM DIRECTOR.
IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. HELLO.

I'M IN YOUR CHAIR, AREN'T I?
THAT'S OKAY. DON'T GET UP.

I DON'T NEED IT RIGHT NOW.

[Exhales]

I'LL JUST GET THIS
OUT OF YOUR WAY.

[Moaning]

[Lou] YOU BEAT ME FAIR
AND SQUARE, PHILLY.

I'LL SEE YOU IN A COUPLE
HOURS AT McCLUSKEY'S. MM-HMM.

I'LL BET YOU'RE
BARBARA COLEMAN. YES.

I'VE GOTTA HURRY
BACK TO THE BAR.

CHUCKLES THE CLOWN IS ON NOW.

THAT WAS OUR LAST
PROGRAM DIRECTOR.

HERE'S YOUR COFFEE.
[Laughing] THANK YOU.

COME ON IN, MISS COLEMAN.

OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

I LIKE A MAN WHO ROLLS UP
HIS SLEEVES WHEN HE WORKS.

I WAS GONNA DO IT
ANYWAY. HAVE A SEAT.

OH. IS THAT YOU? YEAH.

- COLLEGE?
- HIGH SCHOOL.

- YOU LOOK OLD FOR HIGH SCHOOL.
- I LOOKED OLD FOR KINDERGARTEN.

WHAT POSITION DID
YOU PLAY? TACKLE.

OH, REALLY? I USED TO GO WITH
A TACKLE ON THE CHICAGO BEARS.

OH, YEAH? WHO? STEVE FARRELL.

YOU WENT WITH A ROTTEN TACKLE.

HE WASN'T MUCH
OFF THE FIELD EITHER.

[Chuckles] YEAH.

[Murmurs]

I'M JUST MAKING THE ROUNDS OF
THE STATION INTRODUCING MYSELF.

MM-HMM. I HATE TO HAVE PEOPLE
COME INTO MY OFFICE TO MEET ME.

IT KIND OF PUTS THEM OFF. YEAH.

USUALLY THE NEW GUY COMES
IN, AND FIRST THING HE DOES...

IS RUSH INTO THIS OFFICE
ASKING TO SEE THE NEWS BUDGET.

THAT'S WHY I'M
HERE. I DON'T HAVE IT.

- WHO DOES?
- SOME GUY WHO WORKS UPSTAIRS.

- I DON'T KEEP THAT STUFF HERE.
- THEN HOW DO YOU KNOW
WHEN YOU'RE OVER BUDGET?

BECAUSE THE PROGRAM
DIRECTOR CALLS ME ON THE CARPET.

YOU RESENT PROGRAM
DIRECTORS, DON'T YOU?

ME? NAH.

I WAS A PROGRAM DIRECTOR
ONCE MYSELF... FOR A WEEK.

AND I SUPPOSE MY BEING
A WOMAN DOESN'T HELP.

AW, COME ON. YOU'RE RIGHT.

I KEEP THINKING IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE
TO PEOPLE. MAYBE IT DOESN'T TO EVERYONE.

WELL, IT SURE DOES TO ME.

MAR, IS LOU IN?

HE'S IN A MEETING WITH THE
NEW PROGRAM DIRECTOR.

I ALMOST LET HER SEE ME.

SAY, YOU DON'T... YOU DON'T
REALLY THINK SHE'D FIRE ME...

JUST FOR A LITTLE PINCHAREENO
IN THE ELEVATOR, DO YOU?

WELL, I HOPE NOT, TED.
'CAUSE IF YOU GO, I GO.

I COULDN'T WRITE
FOR ANYONE ELSE.

- DO YOU MEAN THAT, MURR?
- MM-HMM.

MY VOCABULARY ISN'T
WHAT IT USED TO BE.

[Lou] COME ON AND MEET
THE REST OF THE GANG. FINE.

TED. I WANT YOU TO MEET OUR NEW
PROGRAM DIRECTOR, BARBARA COLEMAN.

HIYA. PLEASED TO MEET YA.

PLEASED TO MEET YOU, TED.

[Lou] TED?

OH! THANK THE LORD.

WHAT?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE A CUTE
LITTLE BRUNETTE WITH A GREAT HEINIE.

OH, HI, GUYS. HI, TED. HI.

WHAT ARE YOU PLAYIN'? CHESS.

- OH. THAT'S A GAME
I WANNA LEARN TO PLAY.
- CHESS?

THAT'S NOT LIKE YOU, TED,
WANTING TO LEARN A THING LIKE THAT.

OH, YEAH? THERE'S A LOT
OF MONEY IN PLAYING CHESS.

I HEARD OF ONE KID WHO MADE
$200,000 PLAYING IT... IN ICELAND.

IF YOU MAKE THAT KIND
OF MONEY IN ICELAND,

JUST IMAGINE THE KIND OF DOUGH
YOU CAN MAKE IN A REALLY BIG TOWN.

UH-OH. THE BOSS LADY. PUT AWAY
THE GAME. PUT AWAY THE GAME.

TED, THIS IS OUR LUNCH HOUR.

I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR ANY
GAMES. I GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

UH, IT'S NOT EASY PUTTIN'
ON A NEWS SHOW, YOU KNOW.

OH. HIYA, BARBARA. I DIDN'T
KNOW YOU WERE HERE.

HELLO, TED.

HI. [Together] HI.

DO THEY HAVE ANY HOT
FOOD HERE? YEAH, THE COKE.

- THE SOUP IS LUKEWARM.
- OH, JUST LIKE
THE LUNCHROOM IN CHICAGO.

THINK WE OUGHTA
ASK HER TO JOIN US?

GO AHEAD IF YOU WANT TO. I
HAVE TO GET BACK TO THE OFFICE.

I LEFT MY MONEY ON THE
DESK, AND TED'S AROUND.

BARBARA. BYE. BYE, MURRAY.

- HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING?
- OH, FINE.

- HOW'S EVERYTHING
GOING WITH YOU?
- FINE.

- YOU MIND IF I JOIN YOU?
- OH, NO. PLEASE DO.

LISTEN, WE WERE GONNA
ASK YOU TO JOIN US, BUT...

IT'S ALL RIGHT. I KNOW.
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.

LISTEN. I'VE REALLY GOT TO GET OUT
OF THAT HOTEL AND FIND A PLACE TO LIVE.

I HOPE THERE'S SOME
NICE AREAS AROUND...

WHERE I CAN FIND
SOMETHING I CAN AFFORD.

- ABOUT HOW MUCH IS THAT?
- OH, ABOUT WHAT I PAID
IN CHICAGO.

ABOUT 400, 450 A MONTH.

I THINK YOU COULD GET
THREE OR FOUR APARTMENTS.

IF YOU DON'T MIND, HOW MUCH
DO YOU PAY FOR YOUR PLACE?

ABOUT, UH, 150, 250.

NO KIDDING? THAT'S TERRIFIC.

- HOW MANY BEDROOMS?
- NO BEDROOMS.

OH. YEAH, I USED TO HAVE A PLACE
LIKE THAT... WITH FOUR OTHER GIRLS.

MM. [Laughs]

- TELL ME A LITTLE
ABOUT YOUR BOSS.
- WHAT DID YOU WANNA KNOW?

WELL... YOU KNOW, I'VE NOTICED THAT
WHENEVER I COME IN TO A NEW STATION,

THERE'S ALWAYS ONE MAN WHO RESENTS
WORKING FOR A WOMAN MORE THAN THE REST.

OH, NO, NO, NO. MR. GRANT
DOESN'T CARE THAT YOU'RE A WOMAN.

HE JUST DOESN'T LIKE
PROGRAM DIRECTORS.

OH. UH-HUH.

UH, MARY, I'M GOING ON
SPECIAL ASSIGNMENT NOW.

UH, IF ERIC SEVAREID CALLS,

TELL HIM IT'S OKAY TO
USE THAT PIECE I WROTE.

OH. HIYA, BARBARA. I'M SORRY.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT YOU.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU
WERE STILL HERE.

YOU WON'T BELIEVE ME,

BUT I'VE HAD ONE OF HIM AT
EVERY STATION I'VE WORKED AT TOO.

I DON'T KNOW, BARBARA.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND...

HOW YOU COULD BE SO
SETTLED IN JUST THREE WEEKS.

I'VE BEEN IN MY PLACE
THREE YEARS NOW.

STILL HAVEN'T TAKEN THE
NEWSPAPER OUT OF THE GLASSES.

WHICH EXPLAINS WHY MY
ORANGE JUICE TASTES FUNNY.

HEY, WOULD ANYONE LIKE
COFFEE? OH, NO, THANKS.

BRANDY? MMM, YEAH. TERRIFIC.

THAT FRENCH RESTAURANT
WAS REALLY GREAT.

YEAH. IT WAS A THRILL FOR
ME JUST EATING AT A PLACE...

WHERE I DIDN'T HAVE TO GIVE MY ORDER
BY SPEAKING INTO A CLOWN'S MOUTH.

DO YOU KNOW THAT THERE WAS A
TIME WHEN I WOULD RATHER DIE...

THAN GO OUT WITH THE
GIRLS ON SATURDAY NIGHT?

YEAH. I CAN REMEMBER WHEN
I'D PREFER EVEN A ROTTEN DATE.

HAD ONE LAST
FRIDAY... A REAL ZERO.

I MEAN, THIS GUY COULD WALK THROUGH
AN ELECTRIC-EYE DOOR, IT WOULDN'T OPEN.

AND THEN, GIRLS, THERE ARE
SOME THAT ARE SO ROTTEN...

THAT IT'S NOT EVEN PICTURESQUE.

LIKE A GUY WHO DRINKS BEER...

AND THEN CRUSHES THE
EMPTY CAN IN HIS BARE HAND.

AND THEN HE WAITS FOR YOU TO
SAY, "OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL, ROCCO."

OR HOW ABOUT THE GUY WHO SAYS,

"I'M NOTHIN' BUT TROUBLE,
BABY, SO DON'T FALL FOR ME."

HEY, RIGHT. OR THE GUYS
WHO TAKE YOU TO THE MOVIES...

AND THEN LAUGH OUT LOUD
AT WOODY WOODPECKER.

OH, AND LET US NOT FORGET
THE WORST KIND OF ALL...

THE GUY WHO LIES
ABOUT BEING MARRIED.

UH-HUH-HUH. TELLS
YOU HE IS WHEN HE ISN'T.

YOU'RE TERRIBLE.

YEAH, IT'S EVEN WORSE WHEN YOU
KNOW HE'S MARRIED AND YOU DON'T CARE.

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO ME.

IS THAT WHY YOU LEFT CHICAGO?

NO. HE'S RIGHT
HERE IN MINNEAPOLIS.

IT'S LOU.

LOU... WH-WHO?

- LOU?
- IT'S JUST THAT LOU AND I HAVE
BEEN TOGETHER A LOT LATELY...

WAIT. WAIT, GIRLS.
LOU WHO? LOU GRANT.

YOU KNOW, WHAT WITH, UM, MEETINGS
AND DINNERS AND BUSINESS LUNCHES...

THERE'S JUST
SOMETHING ABOUT HIM.

LOU?

IT'S SO SELDOM YOU
MEET A MAN LIKE THAT.

THE NERVE OF THAT
GUY BEING SO TERRIFIC.

[Sighs] JUST MY LUCK...

HAVING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH LOU.

LOU GRANT?

GEE, I JUST... I JUST NEVER THOUGHT
OF HIM AS BEING, YOU KNOW...

YEAH. THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE WHO I'VE
NEVER THOUGHT OF AS BEING ROMANTIC...

LOU AND THE GUY
I'M GOING WITH NOW.

BARBARA, HE'S MARRIED.
I MEAN, REALLY MARRIED.

- I KNOW.
- LOU GRANT.

BELIEVE ME, THERE'S
NOTHING I'D LIKE BETTER...

THAN FOR YOU TO TALK
ME OUT OF IT... PLEASE.

YEAH, RIGHT. LIS...

MR. GRANT HAS BEEN MARRIED
TO EDIE FOR, UH, 25 YEARS.

AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER...
THE WAY PEOPLE USED TO IN MOVIES.

I MEAN, SHE GOES AWAY
FOR A DAY, THE MAN CAN'T EAT.

HE CAN DRINK, BUT HE CAN'T EAT.

HE'S GOT CHILDREN... THREE
DAUGHTERS... GRANDCHILDREN,

AND THERE'S NO WAY THAT
MAN IS GONNA HURT HIS FAMILY.

SO THE ONLY ONE WHO'S GONNA
END UP BEING HURT HERE IS YOU.

TELL ME AGAIN ABOUT
THE GRANDCHILDREN.

LOU GRANT?

WELL, THAT PRETTY MUCH
FINISHES THE BUDGET. MM.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA GIVE
ME MY NEW MOBILE UNIT, HUH?

WE JUST DON'T HAVE
THE MONEY FOR IT, LOU.

HOW ABOUT A MIDGET ON A
MOTOR SCOOTER? [Laughing]

WELL, I GUESS THAT'S IT.

BOY, IT'S BEEN A LONG
DAY. GOOD NIGHT, BARBARA.

OH, BOY, ME TOO. I AM EXHAUSTED.
[Barbara] GOOD NIGHT, MARY.

HOW ABOUT A DRINK? SURE.

WELL, OKAY. MAYBE I'LL JUST,
YOU KNOW, STAY FOR ONE.

NO. NO. NO DRINK FOR HER.

NO DRINK FOR HER. MARY,
GO HOME. GET SOME SLEEP.

MR. GRANT, I'M FINE. REALLY.
I JUST GOT MY SECOND WIND.

MARY, YOU'RE SLEEPY. WE
DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE.

BUT, MR. GRANT, LOOK, I CAN'T GO
AWAY AND LEAVE A MESSY OFFICE.

YOU KNOW ME... OL' "CAN'T
LEAVE A MESSY OFFICE" MARY.

WILL YOU GO HOME?

BARBARA, ARE YOU SURE THAT
YOU DON'T WANT ME TO... STAY?

WELL, UH... UH,
MAYBE YOU SHOULD.

UH, YES, I WOULD
LIKE MARY'S OPINION...

ABOUT STARTING A
NEW LATE-NIGHT NEWS.

OH, YOU MEAN AT 11:00?

OR 10:00, THE WAY
WE DID IN CHICAGO.

WE FOUND THAT OUR
ANCHORMAN HAD AN APPEAL

FOR OLDER PEOPLE, AND
THEY GO TO BED EARLIER.

IN THAT CASE, WE
OUGHTA PUT TED ON AT 8:00.

I REALLY LOVE THAT TIE, LOU.

MM? YES, IT'S
BEAUTIFUL, MR. GRANT.

DID YOU GET IT FOR FATHER'S DAY?

NO. I BOUGHT IT
MYSELF THIS MORNING.

SUDDENLY I FELT THIS
URGE TO BUY A NECKTIE.

I DON'T KNOW WHY. [Chuckles]

MAYBE I WANTED TO
IMPRESS THE BOSS. [Laughing]

- [Sighing] OH.
- LISTEN, IF YOU LIKE
THAT 10:00 NEWS IDEA,

WE COULD STAY AND TALK ABOUT IT A
LITTLE WHILE, LOU, IF YOU'RE NOT TOO TIRED.

NO, I'M BEGINNING TO
FEEL PRETTY GOOD. YEAH.

I FEEL FINE TOO. JUST
FINE. FINE, FINE, FINE.

I WANT YOU TO GO HOME
AND GET SOME SLEEP.

MR. GRANT... YOU KNOW HOW
CRANKY YOU GET WHEN YOU DON'T.

MR. GRANT, I'M NOT SLEEPY.

REALLY, MR. GRANT. IF I GO
HOME NOW, I WON'T SLEEP.

I'LL BE WORRYING ABOUT THIS...

MESS AND-AND THE
NEWS PRESENTATION.

GO HOME. [Exhales] ALL RIGHT.

I'LL GO HOME.

SEE YOU BOTH IN THE
MORNING. MM-HMM.

- BRIGHT AND EARLY.
- GOOD NIGHT, MARY.

GOOD NIGHT, MARY. GOOD NIGHT.

NOW, WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF THIS, LOU?

THIS IS IT? MM-HMM.

MM-HMM. WELL,

I DON'T THINK THAT KIND OF
RATING WOULD WARRANT...

BUT WHY MR. GRANT? WHY CAN'T SHE
SEE THAT SHE IS WASTING HER TIME?

- MAYBE SHE'S NOT.
- OF COURSE SHE IS.

RHODA, THIS IS LOU GRANT
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT. WELL?

BUT IF ANYTHING HAPPENS, I
DON'T WANNA KNOW ABOUT IT.

THAT'S WHERE YOU AND I DIFFER.

IF ANYTHING HAPPENS, I WANNA
HEAR EVERY WORD, EVERY DETAIL.

SO, IF YOU HEAR THAT ANYTHING
HAS HAPPENED... RHODA, GO HOME.

OKAY, I'M GOIN'.

DID YOU TALK TO LOU
ABOUT THIS? NO. I CAN'T.

HE DOESN'T KNOW I KNOW. [Scoffs]

COME TO THINK OF IT, I'M NOT
EVEN SURE THAT HE KNOWS.

SOMEHOW I GOT THE FEELING THAT
TONIGHT HE MAY BE FINDING OUT.

WILL YOU GET OUT?

[Knocking]

RHODA? [Lou] NO. IT'S ME.

MR. GRANT? YEAH.

OH, BOY.

OH, BOY. OH, BOY.
OH, BOY. OH, BOY.

MR. GRANT, ARE YOU
ALL RIGHT? NO, I'M NOT.

WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN
YOUR BOSS SAYS, "I LOVE YOU"?

DID SHE SAY THAT? NO,
BUT SHE'S WARMIN' UP TO IT.

I GOT TO TALK TO SOMEBODY, AND
I CAN'T TALK TO EDIE ABOUT THIS.

WELL, MR. GRANT, I'D
REALLY JUST AS SOON...

YOU NOT TALK TO
ME EITHER ABOUT... IT.

OKAY. UH, NO, COME ON.

TALK TO ME ABOUT IT. OKAY.

IT ALL... IT ALL
HAPPENED SO FAST.

SO FAST.

WE WERE JUST SITTING THERE,
TALKING ABOUT THAT 10:00 NEWS SHOW.

AND THEN THE NEXT THING
I KNEW, OUR EYES MET.

AND THEY KINDA HELD
THERE, YOU KNOW?

MM, YEAH, I KNOW.

AND I... FELT SOMETHING.

UH... [Clears Throat] WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS,

BUT IT SURE WAS UNUSUAL.

AND THEN... THEN... SHE...

SHE... SHE PUT HER
ARMS AROUND ME.

THEY DIDN'T GO ALL
THE WAY AROUND.

LOOK AT THIS.

MAKEUP... ON MY HANDKERCHIEF.

MR. GRANT, ALL SHE
DID WAS HUG YOU, RIGHT?

MM-HMM. WELL, THERE'S
NOTHING TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT.

MARY, SHE WANTS ME.

WHY ME?

WELL, YOU'RE A VERY...

KIND OF SPECIAL PERSON.

YEAH.

[Knocking] COME IN.

- HI THERE.
- GOOD MORNING.

I HAD SOME MORE THOUGHTS
ON THAT LATE-NIGHT NEWS SHOW.

I WAS JUST GOING OVER WHAT
THE COMPETITION DOES AT 10:00.

AND, UM, I THOUGHT IT'D BE
GREAT COUNTERPROGRAMMING TO...

SIT DOWN.

BARBARA. YES?

SIT DOWN.

- ABOUT LAST NIGHT.
- WHAT ABOUT IT?

LOOK, WE BOTH HAD
A LOT TO DRINK AND...

- I WAS DRINKING GINGER ALE.
- HUH?

UH, BARBARA,

I DON'T WANT YOU TO
THINK I WASN'T FLATTERED,

BECAUSE I WAS.

BUT I'VE GOT A WIFE...
AND A MARRIAGE...

AND THREE DAUGHTERS...
SARA, RUTHIE, JANEY.

THEN THERE ARE THE
GRANDKIDS... AMY AND ABBY.

- I UNDERSTAND.
- AND ERIC AND, UH...

THE LITTLE ONE...
WHAT'S HIS NAME?

WAIT. I'LL GET
IT. IT'S OKAY, LOU.

I ALWAYS REMEMBER
HIS NAME. IT'S OKAY.

MATTHEW! THAT'S IT. THE LITTLE
ONE'S NAMED MATTHEW. MATTHEW. YEAH.

WELL, UH, ANYWAY,

IF-IF I'M GONNA HAVE ANY
EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES,

FRANKLY, I'M BETTER OFF BOWLING.

IT'S LESS COMPLICATED.

OKAY, LOU.

I HAVEN'T HAD MUCH CHANCE TO GO OVER
THE PRESENTATION THOROUGHLY, BUT...

YOU KNOW, IT'S...

IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T THINK
YOU'RE GOOD-LOOKING OR ANYTHING.

YOU ARE. I UNDERSTAND.

ANYWAY, UM, ALL
THINGS CONSIDERED,

I THINK WE DID A PRETTY
GOOD JOB LAST NIGHT.

I MEAN, IF I WAS SINGLE AND
MAYBE A YEAR YOUNGER...

LOU, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

NOW, THERE ARE A FEW
ROUGH SPOTS HERE AND THERE.

FOR EXAMPLE...
'CAUSE YOU ARE PRETTY.

LOU, KNOCK IT OFF.

I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU AND MARY
WOULD WORK UP AN ENTIRELY NEW BUDGET...

AND EXPAND ON THOSE IDEAS WE
TALKED ABOUT LAST NIGHT, OKAY?

SURE. THANKS.

- CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?
- SURE.

- YOU REALLY WOULD'VE?
- YEAH.

SON OF A GUN.

[Clears Throat] MARY,
IF ANYBODY WANTS ME,

I'LL BE RISKING MY NECK
COVERING THAT BIG FIRE.

TED, BARBARA'S NOT IN THERE.
SHE LEFT ABOUT FIVE MINUTES AGO.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? WHY'D
YOU LET ME WASTE A GOOD ONE?

WELL, IN THAT CASE, I'LL FLAKE
OUT IN MY DRESSING ROOM.

UH, WAKE ME TWO MINUTES
BEFORE THE SHOW STARTS.

[Mews]