Mapleworth Murders (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - Killer Voices: Part I - full transcript
What the heck?
Well, I have good news.
You don't have any bats in the cave.
And, also, I have a surprise for you.
I made you some muesli.
Oh, all right.
It might be dog kibble because I sat
on my glasses and I flattened them.
What time is it?
It's 5:00.
Why did you wake me up so early?
It's 5:00 in the afternoon.
Yeah. I usually wake up about 7.
Well, enough of the silliness.
Eat your breakfast-dinner.
Is this the surprise?
No. I'm taking you to a concert tonight.
- Who?
- You have to guess.
- Post Malone?
- Who?
- SZA?
- What?
- Dolly Parton.
- I wish.
- Lizzo.
- You do it and you'll clean it up.
I am taking you to see
my favorite family singing group.
Hold on to your ducking hat,
because we are going to see BBPS.
The Brothers BcBillan Plus Sisters.
And I even bought the tickets
on my fancy new cellular phone.
Yeah, you did, you baller.
Why don't we ask some of your new
school friends to come with us tonight?
Nah. I just like hanging out, us time.
Who the hell is that?
This is my new handywoman-man.
Her name is Junie. She's been here all day
working on my bush and knockers.
I spent the day trimming
her hydrangea bush
and polishing her door knockers.
And listen, when I come back tomorrow,
I'm gonna...
Oh, my.
Oh, my earring.
Thank you, Junie.
This is dog kibble by the way.
Junie.
You know this place used
to be called the Money Shot,
and they had a great commercial.
Where the whores are tricky
And the floors are sticky
Money shot
Oh, look at this.
It's my agent, Jerry.
He just always calls
at the most inopportune times.
I love him, but he's a pain in my ass.
Hello, Abigail.
Jerry, you're FaceTiming me
and not a profile pic.
You look well.
- How's the new book coming?
- Poor connection.
You know, because you're off the clock.
Hi, what do I have to get you?
I would like a perky red,
and I'll have a ream of shrimp
and a beret, medium rare.
I'll have the salad and Skittles
and a soda.
I'm so excited about this group.
Have you ever seen them before?
No. But I have seen beaver crap
roll off a car hood, so:
same diff.
Well, I hope they play all my favorites.
And I hope they drive their tour bus
into a gulch.
People in this town
really don't hold back, and I like it.
So, what sort of music is this?
It's like a gospel cult-pop.
They've been touring as a family
since childhood,
and they're as inseparable
as their harmonies.
Oh, that sounds nice.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't an only child.
Well, your father is pretty foxy,
so I'm sure there are others out there.
- What?
- Abigail.
Hey, Abigail.
- Oh, great.
- Abigail.
Gilbert's here.
- Smile like you're glad to see him.
- Hi!
Wow, I've never seen him
without his cop uniform.
He's really leaning
into that turtleneck-vest combo.
He looks very hot.
Temperature-wise, obviously.
Here's your shit.
Thank you.
You know, I aspired
to be a professional singer.
When I was in my 20s,
I sang with the local philharmonic.
And when I was on my final note,
a moth flew into my windpipe,
and I coughed for nearly an hour.
Since then, I've been terrified
to sing in public.
But that moth came out three days later
in my stool, and it was still alive.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage
the Brothers BcBillan Plus Sisters.
There's a feeling when it's right
When you're reeling and it's tight
It's that sweet spot
It's that cute cot
We call it family
We're a wham bam family
We're attached at the hip-hop
Making music that won't stop
- It's that perfect note
- Perfect note
- It's that billy goat
- Billy goat
We call it family
We're a wham bam family
We're a wham bam family
They sound so good.
Am I high and forgot?
I'm high on BBPS.
Hey, you know, Bran, you're
the best brother a guy could beg for.
Thanks, pal. I love you so much
it's hurts like a coronary event.
- Hey, what about your sisters?
- Hey, what about your sisters?
You boys are the cutest.
We wished we weren't related.
Yeah, things would be so different
because you're so cute.
They love each other to death.
It's so cute.
You're stealing the show.
You piece of shit.
- You ate my fucking sandwich.
- Go to hell, piece of shit.
Hey, no family is perfect, right?
True.
We came out of the same mama tunnel
We came out of the same daddy dream
Raving like puppies
That's a-yippin' and a'yappin'
Fighting over church and dolls
And sweet ice cream
It's just sibling
Sibling jive-alry
- Go, Brody!
- Go, Brody!
Go, Brody! Go, Brody! Go, Brody!
Go, Brody! Go, Brody!
Go, Brody!
Go, Broda! Go, Broda! Go, Broda!
Go, Broda! Go, Broda! Go, Broda!
Go, Brenda! Go, Brenda! Go, Brenda!
Who's Brenda? Who's Brenda?
- Go, Brenda!
- Oh, Brenda!
Go, Brenda! Go, Brenda! Go, Brenda!
Go, Brenda! Go, Brenda! Go, Brenda!
Go, Bran! Go, Bran! Go, Bran!
Go, Bran! Go, Bran! Go, Bran!
- Whoa, oh, no, Bran - Get it.
- Get it.
- Stop, Bran.
Sibling jive-alry
Oh, my God.
Come on, Bran.
Come on, Bran.
Come on, Bran. Get up, man.
Bran, come on.
Bran.
What's he... What's he doing?
Bran?
He's dead!
Oh, no!
Well, I have good news.
You don't have any bats in the cave.
And, also, I have a surprise for you.
I made you some muesli.
Oh, all right.
It might be dog kibble because I sat
on my glasses and I flattened them.
What time is it?
It's 5:00.
Why did you wake me up so early?
It's 5:00 in the afternoon.
Yeah. I usually wake up about 7.
Well, enough of the silliness.
Eat your breakfast-dinner.
Is this the surprise?
No. I'm taking you to a concert tonight.
- Who?
- You have to guess.
- Post Malone?
- Who?
- SZA?
- What?
- Dolly Parton.
- I wish.
- Lizzo.
- You do it and you'll clean it up.
I am taking you to see
my favorite family singing group.
Hold on to your ducking hat,
because we are going to see BBPS.
The Brothers BcBillan Plus Sisters.
And I even bought the tickets
on my fancy new cellular phone.
Yeah, you did, you baller.
Why don't we ask some of your new
school friends to come with us tonight?
Nah. I just like hanging out, us time.
Who the hell is that?
This is my new handywoman-man.
Her name is Junie. She's been here all day
working on my bush and knockers.
I spent the day trimming
her hydrangea bush
and polishing her door knockers.
And listen, when I come back tomorrow,
I'm gonna...
Oh, my.
Oh, my earring.
Thank you, Junie.
This is dog kibble by the way.
Junie.
You know this place used
to be called the Money Shot,
and they had a great commercial.
Where the whores are tricky
And the floors are sticky
Money shot
Oh, look at this.
It's my agent, Jerry.
He just always calls
at the most inopportune times.
I love him, but he's a pain in my ass.
Hello, Abigail.
Jerry, you're FaceTiming me
and not a profile pic.
You look well.
- How's the new book coming?
- Poor connection.
You know, because you're off the clock.
Hi, what do I have to get you?
I would like a perky red,
and I'll have a ream of shrimp
and a beret, medium rare.
I'll have the salad and Skittles
and a soda.
I'm so excited about this group.
Have you ever seen them before?
No. But I have seen beaver crap
roll off a car hood, so:
same diff.
Well, I hope they play all my favorites.
And I hope they drive their tour bus
into a gulch.
People in this town
really don't hold back, and I like it.
So, what sort of music is this?
It's like a gospel cult-pop.
They've been touring as a family
since childhood,
and they're as inseparable
as their harmonies.
Oh, that sounds nice.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't an only child.
Well, your father is pretty foxy,
so I'm sure there are others out there.
- What?
- Abigail.
Hey, Abigail.
- Oh, great.
- Abigail.
Gilbert's here.
- Smile like you're glad to see him.
- Hi!
Wow, I've never seen him
without his cop uniform.
He's really leaning
into that turtleneck-vest combo.
He looks very hot.
Temperature-wise, obviously.
Here's your shit.
Thank you.
You know, I aspired
to be a professional singer.
When I was in my 20s,
I sang with the local philharmonic.
And when I was on my final note,
a moth flew into my windpipe,
and I coughed for nearly an hour.
Since then, I've been terrified
to sing in public.
But that moth came out three days later
in my stool, and it was still alive.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage
the Brothers BcBillan Plus Sisters.
There's a feeling when it's right
When you're reeling and it's tight
It's that sweet spot
It's that cute cot
We call it family
We're a wham bam family
We're attached at the hip-hop
Making music that won't stop
- It's that perfect note
- Perfect note
- It's that billy goat
- Billy goat
We call it family
We're a wham bam family
We're a wham bam family
They sound so good.
Am I high and forgot?
I'm high on BBPS.
Hey, you know, Bran, you're
the best brother a guy could beg for.
Thanks, pal. I love you so much
it's hurts like a coronary event.
- Hey, what about your sisters?
- Hey, what about your sisters?
You boys are the cutest.
We wished we weren't related.
Yeah, things would be so different
because you're so cute.
They love each other to death.
It's so cute.
You're stealing the show.
You piece of shit.
- You ate my fucking sandwich.
- Go to hell, piece of shit.
Hey, no family is perfect, right?
True.
We came out of the same mama tunnel
We came out of the same daddy dream
Raving like puppies
That's a-yippin' and a'yappin'
Fighting over church and dolls
And sweet ice cream
It's just sibling
Sibling jive-alry
- Go, Brody!
- Go, Brody!
Go, Brody! Go, Brody! Go, Brody!
Go, Brody! Go, Brody!
Go, Brody!
Go, Broda! Go, Broda! Go, Broda!
Go, Broda! Go, Broda! Go, Broda!
Go, Brenda! Go, Brenda! Go, Brenda!
Who's Brenda? Who's Brenda?
- Go, Brenda!
- Oh, Brenda!
Go, Brenda! Go, Brenda! Go, Brenda!
Go, Brenda! Go, Brenda! Go, Brenda!
Go, Bran! Go, Bran! Go, Bran!
Go, Bran! Go, Bran! Go, Bran!
- Whoa, oh, no, Bran - Get it.
- Get it.
- Stop, Bran.
Sibling jive-alry
Oh, my God.
Come on, Bran.
Come on, Bran.
Come on, Bran. Get up, man.
Bran, come on.
Bran.
What's he... What's he doing?
Bran?
He's dead!
Oh, no!