Magic for Humans (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Guilt Trip - full transcript
Oh, the guilt. Justin talks to moms about lying for a living. Later, he conducts an eyewitness experiment and amazes detention-stricken students.
[Justin] And it's a beautiful day for it.
Bottle fishing.
- That's it.
- What are you going to catch in there?
Phones.
- Okay. -Wanna see?
- Wanna check it out? -Yeah.
Okay.
Cap is screwed on tight?
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Let's see if I can get a good toss.
That's key.
- Nice.
- That's good.
- Hold on to that. Don't let go.
- Right.
Take out your phones.
I'll use yours. Turn your volume up.
- Get ready to call her.
- All right.
- Volume's up.
- Okay. Lock it. Give me your phone.
[woman gasps]
Call her.
- Call her. I got to feel it.
- [phone dialing]
There we go. Yes. Got it. Yeah.
- Calling?
- Yeah.
- No way.
- [phone ringing]
No way.
Dude, you're right there.
- Show the camera the phone face.
- It says "Carissa".
- Jesus.
- There she is.
Hello? I literally was like,
"There goes my **** phone."
You watch these specials, you're like,
"Obviously they have to cut
between when they do their magic off..."
you know.
I literally don't understand.
Just, literally, the splash was there.
Like, I want a replay.
I have a question. You have a decision
to make. I can either crack it open,
and give your phone back, or I can leave
it and you live the rest of your life
with this amazing relic you'll pass on
to your children and grandchildren,
who will forever tell the story of the day
Justin Willman put your phone in a bottle.
Beautiful.
Behold.
The floating silver orb
that defies gravity.
How does he do it?
Is he a witch? No, it's a soup ladle.
Up my sleeve.
Should I feel guilty I was able
to amaze you with such a simple gag?
No!
But do I?
Yes.
Guilt is a fickle emotion.
For example, I love animals.
And yet I eat meat.
Should I feel guilty? Yes!
But do I?
No.
It's messed up.
I want to understand guilt.
'Cause all I know
is I'd do anything to avoid it.
We are open for business.
Bacon!
Get your bacon here! 25 cents!
Five seconds rule. Bacon!
- You don't eat bacon? No?
- I'm Jewish.
L'chaim. Would you like some bacon, sir?
- Yeah, I want some.
- Awesome.
How are you?
You saw that flair I just did.
- You're a bacon lover?
- I do like bacon.
Wait, actually, before you take a bite.
Come here. We have another thing
on special offer today.
What?
This is vegan bacon.
- It's only $5 per slice.
- Okay.
I want to offer that to you
before you eat that.
I don't want you to have that guilt
hanging over your head.
Well, I've...
I'm not interested in paying $5 a slice
for vegan bacon
with a chance
of not actually enjoying that.
Even if I remind you
that came from an animal?
- Yeah, I believe you.
- But you don't feel guilty?
- No, because it's going to taste good.
- Since it's already dead and...
- Like, I can't see the actual shape of it.
- True.
- So if you were able to see the shape?
- It would be a no-go.
Would you feel guilty... I'm just curious.
What if I showed you a picture of the...
pig you're holding right now?
Does that change anything?
Okay, I guess it's kind of wrong.
If I introduced you to the orphan
who no longer has a mother,
would that change anything?
Meet the orphan.
Oh! Whoa!
Whoa!
If I introduced the orphan who no longer
has a mother, would that change anything?
Meet the orphan.
Oh no!
- No!
- Here she is.
Come say hi to Mama.
- Hello!
- There's your mama.
He's holding your mama.
Can I pet him?
He's so cute.
- Where did he come from?
- From the pig you're holding.
No.
I'm sorry. I can't do it now.
I can't eat this now. I can't.
- Still want that?
- No.
- Stick with the bacon?
- Stick with the bacon.
Even though you met Kevin?
- No shame, huh?
- No.
I would take that.
- You would?
- Yeah.
- Would you like a bite?
- Can I try this vegan thing?
It's $25 a slice now.
Yeah, it's just... The demand went up.
Take it. Go for it.
It's kind of dry, actually.
I literally need water.
[Justin]
Is guilt a good thing... or a bad thing?
To find out, I sat down
with the world's leading experts on guilt:
- Moms.
- Tell me what I need to know about guilt.
- Guilt is fabulous.
- Tell me more.
- It's a way of getting what you need.
- Which culture, do you think...
is the most proficient at using guilt?
Italians.
Jewish.
- We're like kissing cousins.
- Yes.
My mother had it down. I have it down.
And I'm telling you,
a lot of it is unspoken.
- Oh, exactly. It's just a dead stare.
- You are shunned.
Show me the look.
You guys are good.
I... kind of have this burden of guilt
that I carry around.
My job is I'm a magician.
I'm lying left and right, like constantly.
I've got really good at it,
and I feel bad about it.
[Justin] To illustrate my point,
I showed them a classic of magic.
I had them pick a card,
sign it,
then I shuffled it in the deck,
only to have it somehow reappear
inside a balloon.
Right. That's the one.
They were impressed. And then...
It was all a lie.
It was all a series of lies.
I showed them exactly how I did it.
I false shuffled the card to the top.
I palmed it off.
Then I held it
on the outside of the balloon
so when the balloon popped, it looked like
it was inside the whole time.
Using a clear balloon
to provide the mothers clarity.
If you can lie this easily to your mother
about this, what else do you lie about?
See, that is the question.
I was actually lying this whole time
about how the trick worked.
That's not even
how the trick works, because...
In fact, how the trick works, how could I
just massage the card, and make it...
melt...
- Wow.
- ..right in?
- Bravo.
- Wow.
- Just like that.
- Wow. That's impressive.
So I was lying even about being honest
about my lying.
So, I guess the question is...
- what do I do?
- That's okay. We forgive you!
- Yeah?
- It's your job.
You're making a good living,
making people happy. We're good.
Be well, make lots of money,
have grandchildren...
I like it.
- I'm Justin.
- Hi, I'm Kate.
Hi, Kate. You're on Trick Questions.
I'm gonna show you a trick,
- then I'm gonna ask you a question.
- Okay.
- Ready to play?
- Yes.
- What is this?
- An X-Acto knife.
It's an X-Acto knife. A utility knife.
I'm going to take it out.
It's very... very dangerous.
And sharp.
Oh, that's not a good idea.
Sorry.
The question is, if Ginger Spice
hadn't left the Spice Girls,
think they'd still be
cranking out the hits?
Yeah.
[Justin] When I was in high school,
nothing would upset my mom more
than when I'd get detention.
And that happened a lot
'cause I was a rebel.
To absolve myself of that lingering guilt,
I'm going to teach the next generation
how to avoid getting caught
in the first place.
What's up, misfits?
- Hey.
- I'm Mr. Willman.
And this is your detention...
avoidance seminar.
You ever been in one of those before?
- No.
- Do I look comfortable right now
- sitting on the edge of the desk?
- No.
But do I look cool?
- No.
- No.
So you're all here because you've been
in detention before?
Has anyone got in trouble
for not taking notes in class?
- Always.
- Do you have your notebook?
- Yeah.
- Can I see?
- See for yourself.
- Pass it here.
Okay, so it's not the not taking notes
that's a problem, right?
It's the getting caught not taking notes.
So here's another life hack for you guys.
If you get busted... doodling...
all you need to do is shut the notebook
and be like, "[clears throat]
no, I swear I was taking notes."
- And you can flip through it again...
- What?
- ..and be in good shape.
- What?
Here, check it out.
Seriously?
- Good luck on your SATs.
- Let me see it. Oh, my gosh.
Anyone been busted for chewing gum?
Wanna know how to avoid getting in trouble
for having gum in school?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Here's what you do.
You just got to... be a decent drawer...
It's gum.
Not bad.
Not impressed?
- All right...
- Yeah.
Seriously? What?
You get a gum! You get a gum!
Come on. Coolest substitute teacher ever?
That's how you get gum into school.
Big problem, though, happens if you get
caught chewing your gum, yes?
- Yeah.
- Here's what you do.
Just give it a little...
stretch.
- Rewrapped.
- I just...
- Just pop it back in the box.
- I didn't blink that entire time, and...
I'm...
I feel I'm confusing you
more than enlightening you.
How can I help you avoid more punishment? -I got
busted for passing notes. - I have a way to help you.
I'm going to have you recreate a note
that you might be writing to your friend.
- Okay?
- Okay.
-Who was this friend?
- Her name is Ashley.
- Ashley. So write Ashley a note.
- That's my code name.
- Okay.
"Ash. You free tonight?"
Now, this is obviously an example
of a very urgent piece of communication
that could not wait.
Tear it off. Fold it up
like you'd pass it to Ashley.
The smaller it is,
the harder it is for a teacher to see.
- That's real small though. Go for it.
- Yeah.
Then on the outside, maybe however you'd
initial it, so she knows it's for her.
- Good.
- She knows it's for her.
I like it. Re-cap that marker.
Check this out.
K for Kendall.
A for Ashley.
- Was the note about this size?
- Yeah.
And you got busted.
Because it's against the rules
to pass a note. However...
it's not against the rules
to pass a fruit.
Right? So here's what you do.
No way.
You pass the orange to Ashley...
and then Ashley takes the orange...
and she just...
slices it open...
to give herself a little... tasty snack.
- What?
- No way.
No way.
If you'll just take it.
- No way.
- Hold it. Pull it out.
Unfold it. Oh, my gosh.
In detention, if you do the crime,
you do the time.
But in the real world,
you can end up doing the time
whether you're guilty or not.
Eyewitness testimony. It is often
considered the best form of evidence
in a criminal case.
However, faulty eyewitness testimony
has led to more wrongful convictions
than any other kind of evidence.
Maybe that's because things...
aren't always as they appear.
Let me show you just how unreliable
people's eyes can be.
I rented this cafe,
I hid a bunch of cameras,
and I hired this actress,
to help us create a crime
for someone to witness.
I really need to use the restroom.
Can you watch my stuff?
Thanks a lot. Thank you.
- No problem.
- Thanks a lot. Appreciate it so much.
- I'll be right back. It's all right, okay?
- My god, what about your purse?
- It's all right.
- Take your purse.
Gotta go!
That's me. Now, watch closely.
The camera will not cut away.
How you doing?
Oh, my g--
****
- Oh, my god!
- I'm calling the police.
- What's going on?
- I'm calling the police.
Oh, my god.
Hi.
Yeah, I'm on the corner
of Lucretia and Echo Park.
I didn't even see who it...
Yeah, there was a...
Her purse and her...
Oh, my god.
Everything okay?
What's wrong?
And that's me again.
Will she notice?
This lady was sitting here
and she told me to watch her stuff,
and somebody grabbed her purse!
- Just now?
- Yeah.
Let's try that one more time...
but faster.
- Anyone sitting here?
- Yeah.
There's a cop.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Someone just took a purse
and went through the back here.
- Just now?
- Yeah.
Now let's find out just how reliable
these eyewitnesses are.
- Did you see what he looked like?
- Not really.
It's a.. Caucasian guy.
It was a man,
he was wearing a black hoodie.
Okay, we're looking for a white male,
black hoodie.
- Any identifying characteristics on it?
- No.
- Any graphics?
- Black, with a smiley face on the back.
- A yellow happy face? On the front?
- Yeah.
- How old did you say he was?
- Definitely younger.
- Twenties?
- That's good.
- Mid-thirties.
- Mid-thirties? Okay.
- The guy was fast.
- Like a leopard fast, or like a bear?
I don't know!
- Uh, handsome?
- I don't think so.
- Did you get a glance at the glutes?
- His glutes?
What did you see most identifiably?
The face?
Yeah, just the face.
Now the real question. Would they accuse
the wrong guy if given the chance?
Would you say that's the gentleman
who took the purse?
Have him turn back, give me a profile.
- Is that the sweatshirt he was wearing?
- Yeah.
I don't know.
She described him as a snake.
Ask him to re-enact as if he was a serpent
snatching the purse.
This would save a court appearance.
Would you say 100% that's the guy?
- That's him.
- That's the guy?
Would you say that's the guy, 100%?
- Yeah.
- I mean, I think so.
On a scale of one to ten?
- Yeah, a ten.
- Ten?
So, would you say
we have the right guy here?
- Yes.
- Put him in the cruiser for me.
We got a positive ID.
- Tell me again, what's your name?
- Oh, my god.
- I need to file the report.
- I don't want to go to court!
100% you won't have to go
to court. You know why?
- Why?
- On a day like this...
- 'Cause you're on a TV show.
- What?
I'm actually not a police officer.
I'm a magician.
I'm going-- What?
- You know the craziest part?
- What's the craziest part?
I'm the one who took the purse.
That's what I said!
I don't want no part in this!
I'm the good cop and the bad guy.
And you're fantastic.
I'm Justin. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Good!
How's it going, guys?
This is called Trick Questions,
where I show you a magic trick.
You watch really carefully
when I show you the trick,
- 'cause I'm gonna ask you a question.
- Okay.
Can I borrow a key?
All right. Yeah, sure.
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah.
It's shiny. Cool.
- Can I use your headphones? Yeah.
- Here you go, man.
Okay.
Here I go. Watch.
Key. Headphones.
Headphones. Key.
Okay.
That checks out.
What?
So here's the question.
Do you use pornography?
I make pornography.
Guilt: weighs you down, gnaws at you.
But to get rid of it,
all you got to do is apologize.
But what if you don't have the words?
I can help.
Hi, guys.
- Hi.
- How's it going?
- Good.
- Ever feel guilty about something?
Guilt's weird. It's got magical
properties, but not in a good way,
in that it kind of weighs us down, and
you can make it disappear just like that.
Sometimes with a heartfelt apology.
I'm wondering if either of you
have anything you feel guilty about
to the other person?
I may have something.
You looked at him like, "I hope he says
he has something." You got something?
- Definitely.
- You do?
- I'm going to give these to you.
- Okay.
- But they're not for you to keep.
- Okay.
- And I've brought a card.
- Okay.
Hold out your left hand.
Hold that for a second. Okay.
- I'm excited to hear. What's the thing?
- Yeah, I'm so scared.
- When we first met in fourth grade...
- Oh, yes.
When we first met, I sat excitedly
on the hammock next to her,
it flipped over,
and I kicked her in the face.
- I'm here to help.
- Thank you.
- Give her the flowers.
- I'm so sorry.
Thank you.
Why don't you open up the envelope
and give her the card?
Whatever this says, I mean it.
- "Sorry I kicked you in the face."
- Oh, my god!
Are you serious?
What? This is...
I forgive you, but also, what?
- I'm very amazed right now.
- This is crazy!
Hold this. All right.
What's something... even a little
petty thing, that you feel bad about?
Go ahead.
I feel bad she's been eating chicken wings
with her fingers.
- She had to cut it.
- I know.
I'm a germophobe so I don't like...
- using my fingers to eat.
- Uh-huh.
- She cut her chicken wings with her knife.
- It was...
You feel bad about this?
I don't eat meat so I can't enjoy it
like that, you know.
- So...
- Okay, so earlier today I wrote...
an apology card.
- Open it up.
- Okay.
- Oh, it's, like, sealed.
- Yeah, I licked it good!
- Wow!
- He's like an envelope licker.
Oh, my god!
Wait, how did you do that?
- That's so good.
- I don't get it!
- Read it out.
- It says, "I'm sorry you can't enjoy
finger lickin' good chicken
with your fingers. Heart. Heart."
That's so crazy!
- You're good.
- Now give her the flowers. Give her--
It's okay.
Wait. What is it you feel bad about?
That I wasn't there when her grandma died.
Oh... That you weren't there when her
grandmother died? Is that recent?
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry to hear that.
What's it say?
Oh...
"I regret not being there
when your grandma passed. I'm sorry."
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Maybe guilt is just the feeling
of needing forgiveness.
We want the animals to forgive us
for eating them.
We want the Earth to forgive us
for trashing the place.
And we want our moms to forgive us
for not calling more often.
Because deep down...
we're all good people.
We want to be kind...
honest...
fair.
And whenever we stray from that path...
guilt is always there to let us know.
Thanks, guilt.
[dog whines]
Don't worry, it's vegan.
♪ I'm sorry ♪
♪ I'm sorry ♪
♪ For all the things I do ♪
It must be hard being a magician's mother.
What would you tell your friends? I mean--
♪ I'm sorry ♪
♪ So sorry ♪
♪ Forgive me, please, my dear ♪
♪ Sorry ♪
Bottle fishing.
- That's it.
- What are you going to catch in there?
Phones.
- Okay. -Wanna see?
- Wanna check it out? -Yeah.
Okay.
Cap is screwed on tight?
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Let's see if I can get a good toss.
That's key.
- Nice.
- That's good.
- Hold on to that. Don't let go.
- Right.
Take out your phones.
I'll use yours. Turn your volume up.
- Get ready to call her.
- All right.
- Volume's up.
- Okay. Lock it. Give me your phone.
[woman gasps]
Call her.
- Call her. I got to feel it.
- [phone dialing]
There we go. Yes. Got it. Yeah.
- Calling?
- Yeah.
- No way.
- [phone ringing]
No way.
Dude, you're right there.
- Show the camera the phone face.
- It says "Carissa".
- Jesus.
- There she is.
Hello? I literally was like,
"There goes my **** phone."
You watch these specials, you're like,
"Obviously they have to cut
between when they do their magic off..."
you know.
I literally don't understand.
Just, literally, the splash was there.
Like, I want a replay.
I have a question. You have a decision
to make. I can either crack it open,
and give your phone back, or I can leave
it and you live the rest of your life
with this amazing relic you'll pass on
to your children and grandchildren,
who will forever tell the story of the day
Justin Willman put your phone in a bottle.
Beautiful.
Behold.
The floating silver orb
that defies gravity.
How does he do it?
Is he a witch? No, it's a soup ladle.
Up my sleeve.
Should I feel guilty I was able
to amaze you with such a simple gag?
No!
But do I?
Yes.
Guilt is a fickle emotion.
For example, I love animals.
And yet I eat meat.
Should I feel guilty? Yes!
But do I?
No.
It's messed up.
I want to understand guilt.
'Cause all I know
is I'd do anything to avoid it.
We are open for business.
Bacon!
Get your bacon here! 25 cents!
Five seconds rule. Bacon!
- You don't eat bacon? No?
- I'm Jewish.
L'chaim. Would you like some bacon, sir?
- Yeah, I want some.
- Awesome.
How are you?
You saw that flair I just did.
- You're a bacon lover?
- I do like bacon.
Wait, actually, before you take a bite.
Come here. We have another thing
on special offer today.
What?
This is vegan bacon.
- It's only $5 per slice.
- Okay.
I want to offer that to you
before you eat that.
I don't want you to have that guilt
hanging over your head.
Well, I've...
I'm not interested in paying $5 a slice
for vegan bacon
with a chance
of not actually enjoying that.
Even if I remind you
that came from an animal?
- Yeah, I believe you.
- But you don't feel guilty?
- No, because it's going to taste good.
- Since it's already dead and...
- Like, I can't see the actual shape of it.
- True.
- So if you were able to see the shape?
- It would be a no-go.
Would you feel guilty... I'm just curious.
What if I showed you a picture of the...
pig you're holding right now?
Does that change anything?
Okay, I guess it's kind of wrong.
If I introduced you to the orphan
who no longer has a mother,
would that change anything?
Meet the orphan.
Oh! Whoa!
Whoa!
If I introduced the orphan who no longer
has a mother, would that change anything?
Meet the orphan.
Oh no!
- No!
- Here she is.
Come say hi to Mama.
- Hello!
- There's your mama.
He's holding your mama.
Can I pet him?
He's so cute.
- Where did he come from?
- From the pig you're holding.
No.
I'm sorry. I can't do it now.
I can't eat this now. I can't.
- Still want that?
- No.
- Stick with the bacon?
- Stick with the bacon.
Even though you met Kevin?
- No shame, huh?
- No.
I would take that.
- You would?
- Yeah.
- Would you like a bite?
- Can I try this vegan thing?
It's $25 a slice now.
Yeah, it's just... The demand went up.
Take it. Go for it.
It's kind of dry, actually.
I literally need water.
[Justin]
Is guilt a good thing... or a bad thing?
To find out, I sat down
with the world's leading experts on guilt:
- Moms.
- Tell me what I need to know about guilt.
- Guilt is fabulous.
- Tell me more.
- It's a way of getting what you need.
- Which culture, do you think...
is the most proficient at using guilt?
Italians.
Jewish.
- We're like kissing cousins.
- Yes.
My mother had it down. I have it down.
And I'm telling you,
a lot of it is unspoken.
- Oh, exactly. It's just a dead stare.
- You are shunned.
Show me the look.
You guys are good.
I... kind of have this burden of guilt
that I carry around.
My job is I'm a magician.
I'm lying left and right, like constantly.
I've got really good at it,
and I feel bad about it.
[Justin] To illustrate my point,
I showed them a classic of magic.
I had them pick a card,
sign it,
then I shuffled it in the deck,
only to have it somehow reappear
inside a balloon.
Right. That's the one.
They were impressed. And then...
It was all a lie.
It was all a series of lies.
I showed them exactly how I did it.
I false shuffled the card to the top.
I palmed it off.
Then I held it
on the outside of the balloon
so when the balloon popped, it looked like
it was inside the whole time.
Using a clear balloon
to provide the mothers clarity.
If you can lie this easily to your mother
about this, what else do you lie about?
See, that is the question.
I was actually lying this whole time
about how the trick worked.
That's not even
how the trick works, because...
In fact, how the trick works, how could I
just massage the card, and make it...
melt...
- Wow.
- ..right in?
- Bravo.
- Wow.
- Just like that.
- Wow. That's impressive.
So I was lying even about being honest
about my lying.
So, I guess the question is...
- what do I do?
- That's okay. We forgive you!
- Yeah?
- It's your job.
You're making a good living,
making people happy. We're good.
Be well, make lots of money,
have grandchildren...
I like it.
- I'm Justin.
- Hi, I'm Kate.
Hi, Kate. You're on Trick Questions.
I'm gonna show you a trick,
- then I'm gonna ask you a question.
- Okay.
- Ready to play?
- Yes.
- What is this?
- An X-Acto knife.
It's an X-Acto knife. A utility knife.
I'm going to take it out.
It's very... very dangerous.
And sharp.
Oh, that's not a good idea.
Sorry.
The question is, if Ginger Spice
hadn't left the Spice Girls,
think they'd still be
cranking out the hits?
Yeah.
[Justin] When I was in high school,
nothing would upset my mom more
than when I'd get detention.
And that happened a lot
'cause I was a rebel.
To absolve myself of that lingering guilt,
I'm going to teach the next generation
how to avoid getting caught
in the first place.
What's up, misfits?
- Hey.
- I'm Mr. Willman.
And this is your detention...
avoidance seminar.
You ever been in one of those before?
- No.
- Do I look comfortable right now
- sitting on the edge of the desk?
- No.
But do I look cool?
- No.
- No.
So you're all here because you've been
in detention before?
Has anyone got in trouble
for not taking notes in class?
- Always.
- Do you have your notebook?
- Yeah.
- Can I see?
- See for yourself.
- Pass it here.
Okay, so it's not the not taking notes
that's a problem, right?
It's the getting caught not taking notes.
So here's another life hack for you guys.
If you get busted... doodling...
all you need to do is shut the notebook
and be like, "[clears throat]
no, I swear I was taking notes."
- And you can flip through it again...
- What?
- ..and be in good shape.
- What?
Here, check it out.
Seriously?
- Good luck on your SATs.
- Let me see it. Oh, my gosh.
Anyone been busted for chewing gum?
Wanna know how to avoid getting in trouble
for having gum in school?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Here's what you do.
You just got to... be a decent drawer...
It's gum.
Not bad.
Not impressed?
- All right...
- Yeah.
Seriously? What?
You get a gum! You get a gum!
Come on. Coolest substitute teacher ever?
That's how you get gum into school.
Big problem, though, happens if you get
caught chewing your gum, yes?
- Yeah.
- Here's what you do.
Just give it a little...
stretch.
- Rewrapped.
- I just...
- Just pop it back in the box.
- I didn't blink that entire time, and...
I'm...
I feel I'm confusing you
more than enlightening you.
How can I help you avoid more punishment? -I got
busted for passing notes. - I have a way to help you.
I'm going to have you recreate a note
that you might be writing to your friend.
- Okay?
- Okay.
-Who was this friend?
- Her name is Ashley.
- Ashley. So write Ashley a note.
- That's my code name.
- Okay.
"Ash. You free tonight?"
Now, this is obviously an example
of a very urgent piece of communication
that could not wait.
Tear it off. Fold it up
like you'd pass it to Ashley.
The smaller it is,
the harder it is for a teacher to see.
- That's real small though. Go for it.
- Yeah.
Then on the outside, maybe however you'd
initial it, so she knows it's for her.
- Good.
- She knows it's for her.
I like it. Re-cap that marker.
Check this out.
K for Kendall.
A for Ashley.
- Was the note about this size?
- Yeah.
And you got busted.
Because it's against the rules
to pass a note. However...
it's not against the rules
to pass a fruit.
Right? So here's what you do.
No way.
You pass the orange to Ashley...
and then Ashley takes the orange...
and she just...
slices it open...
to give herself a little... tasty snack.
- What?
- No way.
No way.
If you'll just take it.
- No way.
- Hold it. Pull it out.
Unfold it. Oh, my gosh.
In detention, if you do the crime,
you do the time.
But in the real world,
you can end up doing the time
whether you're guilty or not.
Eyewitness testimony. It is often
considered the best form of evidence
in a criminal case.
However, faulty eyewitness testimony
has led to more wrongful convictions
than any other kind of evidence.
Maybe that's because things...
aren't always as they appear.
Let me show you just how unreliable
people's eyes can be.
I rented this cafe,
I hid a bunch of cameras,
and I hired this actress,
to help us create a crime
for someone to witness.
I really need to use the restroom.
Can you watch my stuff?
Thanks a lot. Thank you.
- No problem.
- Thanks a lot. Appreciate it so much.
- I'll be right back. It's all right, okay?
- My god, what about your purse?
- It's all right.
- Take your purse.
Gotta go!
That's me. Now, watch closely.
The camera will not cut away.
How you doing?
Oh, my g--
****
- Oh, my god!
- I'm calling the police.
- What's going on?
- I'm calling the police.
Oh, my god.
Hi.
Yeah, I'm on the corner
of Lucretia and Echo Park.
I didn't even see who it...
Yeah, there was a...
Her purse and her...
Oh, my god.
Everything okay?
What's wrong?
And that's me again.
Will she notice?
This lady was sitting here
and she told me to watch her stuff,
and somebody grabbed her purse!
- Just now?
- Yeah.
Let's try that one more time...
but faster.
- Anyone sitting here?
- Yeah.
There's a cop.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Someone just took a purse
and went through the back here.
- Just now?
- Yeah.
Now let's find out just how reliable
these eyewitnesses are.
- Did you see what he looked like?
- Not really.
It's a.. Caucasian guy.
It was a man,
he was wearing a black hoodie.
Okay, we're looking for a white male,
black hoodie.
- Any identifying characteristics on it?
- No.
- Any graphics?
- Black, with a smiley face on the back.
- A yellow happy face? On the front?
- Yeah.
- How old did you say he was?
- Definitely younger.
- Twenties?
- That's good.
- Mid-thirties.
- Mid-thirties? Okay.
- The guy was fast.
- Like a leopard fast, or like a bear?
I don't know!
- Uh, handsome?
- I don't think so.
- Did you get a glance at the glutes?
- His glutes?
What did you see most identifiably?
The face?
Yeah, just the face.
Now the real question. Would they accuse
the wrong guy if given the chance?
Would you say that's the gentleman
who took the purse?
Have him turn back, give me a profile.
- Is that the sweatshirt he was wearing?
- Yeah.
I don't know.
She described him as a snake.
Ask him to re-enact as if he was a serpent
snatching the purse.
This would save a court appearance.
Would you say 100% that's the guy?
- That's him.
- That's the guy?
Would you say that's the guy, 100%?
- Yeah.
- I mean, I think so.
On a scale of one to ten?
- Yeah, a ten.
- Ten?
So, would you say
we have the right guy here?
- Yes.
- Put him in the cruiser for me.
We got a positive ID.
- Tell me again, what's your name?
- Oh, my god.
- I need to file the report.
- I don't want to go to court!
100% you won't have to go
to court. You know why?
- Why?
- On a day like this...
- 'Cause you're on a TV show.
- What?
I'm actually not a police officer.
I'm a magician.
I'm going-- What?
- You know the craziest part?
- What's the craziest part?
I'm the one who took the purse.
That's what I said!
I don't want no part in this!
I'm the good cop and the bad guy.
And you're fantastic.
I'm Justin. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Good!
How's it going, guys?
This is called Trick Questions,
where I show you a magic trick.
You watch really carefully
when I show you the trick,
- 'cause I'm gonna ask you a question.
- Okay.
Can I borrow a key?
All right. Yeah, sure.
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah.
It's shiny. Cool.
- Can I use your headphones? Yeah.
- Here you go, man.
Okay.
Here I go. Watch.
Key. Headphones.
Headphones. Key.
Okay.
That checks out.
What?
So here's the question.
Do you use pornography?
I make pornography.
Guilt: weighs you down, gnaws at you.
But to get rid of it,
all you got to do is apologize.
But what if you don't have the words?
I can help.
Hi, guys.
- Hi.
- How's it going?
- Good.
- Ever feel guilty about something?
Guilt's weird. It's got magical
properties, but not in a good way,
in that it kind of weighs us down, and
you can make it disappear just like that.
Sometimes with a heartfelt apology.
I'm wondering if either of you
have anything you feel guilty about
to the other person?
I may have something.
You looked at him like, "I hope he says
he has something." You got something?
- Definitely.
- You do?
- I'm going to give these to you.
- Okay.
- But they're not for you to keep.
- Okay.
- And I've brought a card.
- Okay.
Hold out your left hand.
Hold that for a second. Okay.
- I'm excited to hear. What's the thing?
- Yeah, I'm so scared.
- When we first met in fourth grade...
- Oh, yes.
When we first met, I sat excitedly
on the hammock next to her,
it flipped over,
and I kicked her in the face.
- I'm here to help.
- Thank you.
- Give her the flowers.
- I'm so sorry.
Thank you.
Why don't you open up the envelope
and give her the card?
Whatever this says, I mean it.
- "Sorry I kicked you in the face."
- Oh, my god!
Are you serious?
What? This is...
I forgive you, but also, what?
- I'm very amazed right now.
- This is crazy!
Hold this. All right.
What's something... even a little
petty thing, that you feel bad about?
Go ahead.
I feel bad she's been eating chicken wings
with her fingers.
- She had to cut it.
- I know.
I'm a germophobe so I don't like...
- using my fingers to eat.
- Uh-huh.
- She cut her chicken wings with her knife.
- It was...
You feel bad about this?
I don't eat meat so I can't enjoy it
like that, you know.
- So...
- Okay, so earlier today I wrote...
an apology card.
- Open it up.
- Okay.
- Oh, it's, like, sealed.
- Yeah, I licked it good!
- Wow!
- He's like an envelope licker.
Oh, my god!
Wait, how did you do that?
- That's so good.
- I don't get it!
- Read it out.
- It says, "I'm sorry you can't enjoy
finger lickin' good chicken
with your fingers. Heart. Heart."
That's so crazy!
- You're good.
- Now give her the flowers. Give her--
It's okay.
Wait. What is it you feel bad about?
That I wasn't there when her grandma died.
Oh... That you weren't there when her
grandmother died? Is that recent?
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry to hear that.
What's it say?
Oh...
"I regret not being there
when your grandma passed. I'm sorry."
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Maybe guilt is just the feeling
of needing forgiveness.
We want the animals to forgive us
for eating them.
We want the Earth to forgive us
for trashing the place.
And we want our moms to forgive us
for not calling more often.
Because deep down...
we're all good people.
We want to be kind...
honest...
fair.
And whenever we stray from that path...
guilt is always there to let us know.
Thanks, guilt.
[dog whines]
Don't worry, it's vegan.
♪ I'm sorry ♪
♪ I'm sorry ♪
♪ For all the things I do ♪
It must be hard being a magician's mother.
What would you tell your friends? I mean--
♪ I'm sorry ♪
♪ So sorry ♪
♪ Forgive me, please, my dear ♪
♪ Sorry ♪