MacGyver (1985–1992): Season 3, Episode 14 - The Odd Triple - full transcript

MacGyver: Three
and a half weeks,

two continents, five
countries, one island,

About 9,000 miles,
and I was wasted.

Right now, I was looking forward

to miles and miles of
nothing happening...

Except sleep.

♪ Welcome home! ♪

No!

Aw, the man's
overcome with emotion.

No, just overcome.

It's nice to be back,
it's great to see you,



but I need to get
some sleep. Now.

Oh, not so fast, kemo sabe,

I have fantastic news.

I don't want to hear it, Jack.

I just want to sleep.

So, good-bye, Jack.

Go home, Jack.

Uh, actually, this is home.

Temporarily.

A reversal of fortune,

a pileup of evil coincidences.

I knew you wouldn't
mind, so I sort of moved in.

Lucky I did too,
because old buddy,

best pal, we have
hit the jackpot.



I taped this with
my own Lily whites,

from the 11:00 news.

Jack, the answer is no.

No rescue missions,
no buried treasure,

no sunken gold,
no oil Wells. No!

You're right, MacGyver.

You're a practical man.

That's why you're
gonna love this.

Jack, I don't want to
see anything. Please.

I just taped the high points.

And here they are...
The lupescu jewels.

Emeralds, rubies, diamonds.

The most famous
relics of a royal family,

and purchased earlier today

At the Warwick
auction for $32 million.

The reported buyer

is one of the world's
wealthiest women, Elena iturbe,

heiress to a shipping fortune,

and alleged to be the
mysterious purchaser

Of these fabulous treasures.

( Static )

( Music playing )

( Gunshots )

What!? No!

Oh, I just taped
over some old movie.

My classic western collection!

Oh, sorry.

( Dramatic groan )

but forget the past,
because, my boy,

we have a future.

With those royal jewels? No!

Of course, no.

Never mind small things.

We have a future
with Ms. Elena iturbe.

Mac, she flew in
just for that auction,

Used some petty cash
to buy those pretties.

The pilot and co-pilot of
her private jet went south.

I don't want to hear this.

MacGyver, I checked
it out at the airport.

Kosher, a-okay.

The plane's there;
We're signed up.

What about her flight crew?

Lost, strayed,
stolen... who cares?

We, old buddy, are on.

Jack, I just got
off an airplane.

No!

It's more than a job.

It's an opportunity.

Listen, I talked to her

about starting an airline...

Small at first, growing,

With me building
it into something.

Air Dalton.

Yeah. It's my dream, Mac.

It's all I ever
wanted in the world.

Jack...

I know I've pulled you into
lots of hassles and hustles.

You bailed me out; I owe you.

But our friendship's
worth something.

The iturbe money is real.

The lady is real.

It's legit.

( Knock at door )

Oh!

Oh... it's her.

Oh, come on.

Come with me.

Just one fun trip to

( In French accent
): Toulon, France.

Excuse me.

Hello, Ms. Iturbe.

Captain Dalton.

- Come right in.
- Thank you.

Ah, and you must be MacGyver.

Elena iturbe.

It's a pleasure.

What a charming place you
have here, captain Dalton.

Dalton: Glad you like it.

Uh, we're ready to
leave; I filed a flight plan.

Good.

Uh, Ms. Iturbe, about this...

I'm most happy to have
you aboard, MacGyver.

Captain Dalton has told
me a great deal about you.

I'm all packed.

I'll get the plane warmed up.

Good.

Miss iturbe, I'm Simon Warwick,

and it's a privilege
to meet you in person.

Thank you.

I imagine you wish
to see my identity.

Hardly necessary.

Do you have everything prepared?

Of course.

Your attorneys have
approved the contract of sale.

It's not their money,
nor their jewels.

May I see them, please?

Yes. Quite correct.

Designed for a queen.

Fitting for a Princess.

Thank you.

Good-bye, Mr. Warwick.

Can I help you with that?

The jewels? They're not heavy.

Beautiful, but not heavy.

Did you see them on television?

Oh, yeah.

And what did you think?

I think it's kind
of a flashy way

Of telling people you're rich.

Ah. You don't approve?

Probably just jealous.

Ready for immediate take-off.

Good.

Stop!

Thieves!

Get out of here, Jack!

( Gunshots )

That's my boy.

Dalton: Up, up, and away.

Oh, you were both marvelous!

I have a radiophone in my cabin.

I'll notify the authorities.

Dalton, MacGyver... thank you.

Air Dalton lives, huh?!

Dalton is asleep.

Well, it's my shift;
He might as well.

He trusts you.

And you trust him.

That was obvious from the
way you two worked together

To handle those thieves.

Especially in defense of a woman

of whom you... you
don't really approve.

Now, what gave you that idea?

Oh, you made it quite clear.

And Dalton told me about you.

Apparently, you would
rather give $32 million

to medical research.

Yeah. But then,

that's probably why
you own the plane

And I'm just flying it.

We'll be landing in a few hours.

What then?

Oh, I shall probably
go into my wine cellar

and choose a bottle of

truly exceptional champagne,

and sit on my terrace

and congratulate
myself on my acquisition.

What are you going
to do with those jewels?

Wear them.

Exhibit them.

Sell them for a profit...
Anything I choose.

You would probably give
them to a campaign for hunger.

Yeah.

And save a few lives?

For what... six months, a year,

until they breed
more starving children

and the money runs
out... And then what?

Then you'd have
bought another year.

You can do a lot in a year.

As you said... it is my money.

You know, my
grandfather used to say,

"if you're afraid of the
answer, don't ask the question."

Notify me when we make
the landing approach.

I've arranged to be met.

Yes, ma'am.

There she is... toulon, France.

Better ask miss iturbe
if she needs any help.

Hi. Just thought
I'd let you know

we'll be landing in
about five minutes.

Iturbe: Good.

I've arranged to be met.

I'm anxious to avoid the press,

which will be waiting for me

Like a pack of wolves.

Man: Hello?

Uh, Robert, it's
Elena iturbe here.

We are landing in toulon now.

Very good.

The helicopter will be
there in five minutes.

Merci.

( Tires skidding )

Take the plane to the
terminal, and check it in.

Then go to the metropole hotel,

And I will contact you there.

Will do.

Here they come.

I anticipate
champagne, flashbulbs,

and with any luck,
local beauty queens

panting after my highly
trained pilot's body.

Bonjour!

I guess you're expecting us.

Yes, we were.

You are under arrest.

Excuse me, but do
you know who we are?

Yes. Two American thieves.

And I am inspector Andres.

And where is the woman?

Elena iturbe?

No, Mr. MacGyver.

Miss iturbe... the
real Elena iturbe...

Has been discovered
in her hotel suite

in your country,

bound and gagged,
with her real flight crew,

Her passport and papers
stolen by your accomplice.

Where is she?

Where are the jewels?

Hey, wait. Hold it.

Momentito, s'il vous plaît.

Ms. Iturbe hired us.

And if you're trying
to run some hustle...

MacGyver: Jack...

Shush.

Inspector, what Jack means is,

we were under the impression

That the woman we were
working for was Ms. Iturbe.

You expect me to believe that?

Yeah!

You used a woman who
resembled miss iturbe

To commit a brilliant robbery.

My congratulations.

Look, with all due respect,

Maybe if we talked
to your superior...

This is my investigation.

Ah.

When I recover the
lupescu jewels, I can expect

a promotion, perhaps a medal.

And I have no intention
of sharing this opportunity.

Then as an American citizen, I
demand a call to my embassy.

There are no Americans here.

Only prisoners.

Man: They are truly stunning.

You did a fantastic job, liane.

Or should I call you... Elena?

Thank god that's over,

but it was almost a disaster.

I had to hire a pair of pilots

at one day's notice.

What do you mean?

Well, the two idiots you hired

didn't even show up.

I apologize, liane.

How did you find replacements?

I used my contacts.

I found a Jack Dalton.

He flew the U.S. Mexican
border, a bit of smuggling,

but nothing serious.

He had his papers
and his passport,

and, uh, he was hungry.

Resourceful.

And his co-pilot?

He brought in a
friend, uh, MacGyver.

A sort of soldier
of fortune, I gather.

I'll check them out.

But what about the buyers?

Coming in later today.

Bulging with cash.

And ready to bid.

Well, how much do
you think we'll get?

( Chuckles )

A lot.

Listen to me!

Would thieves
file a flight plan?

( Phone rings )

Show him in immediately.

You can explain
from the beginning

to Mr. Brosz,

miss iturbe's head of security.

Oh, that's excellent.

All he has to do
is listen to reason.

So, these are the
men who attacked us

when we tried to
retrieve the jewels, hmm?

Andres: You even eluded
miss iturbe's security

at the airport.

I see. I see.

No, it was a big
misunderstanding.

We thought you...

Andres: Enough!

Take them to the
interrogation center.

( Door closes )

Inspector, miss iturbe

is a very influential
and gracious lady.

She's only interested
in recovering the jewels,

not in any methods you
may find it necessary to take.

Do we understand each other?

Completely.

Morning, Helen.

Morning.

I've been hoping to
hear from MacGyver.

- Has he called in yet?
- Not since I've been in.

Oh, but there's a message
blinking on your private line.

And, uh, no, I didn't listen in.

Thanks a lot.

( Tape rewinding )

( Beep )

MacGyver ( On
machine ): Hi, Pete.

Listen, I'm calling
kind of early,

but I wanted to make
sure you got this.

So do me a favor, will you?

Sit down.

Thanks.

Uh, Pete, something came up,

and I, uh...

Well, I sort of
took off with Jack.

Dalton?!

Pete, sit down.

- This is completely legitimate.
- Dalton is nothing but trouble.

I know you're going to say,
"Dalton's nothing but trouble,"

but this is really
important to him.

We've hired on to
ferry Ms. Elena iturbe

back to toulon,
France, in her private jet.

Jack needed a co-pilot,
and I was kind of elected.

I didn't figure you'd miss
me, and it's just a quick trip.

- I'll be back by tomorrow night...
- What?!

So don't worry.

And it's a real
big shot for Jack.

This is his big chance.

After this,

- Dalton airlines will take off, -
MacGyver, what are you involved in?

- And I don't want you to get all shook up. Just relax.
- ( Dial tone )

( Sighs )

Dalton.

Dalton!

Helen!

Yes, sir?

Get me on the
first available flight

for toulon, France.

Yes, sir.

Dalton!

( Grunts )

( Dalton gasps )

She looked the part.

She had Elena iturbe's passport.

Why wouldn't we believe her?

Be quiet, stupidity
irritates me.

I have three dozen
men out searching

For your female accomplice.

But I'm not going
to waste the time.

You are going to lead me to her.

Do you know what this is?

Sure, that's electrical
shock torture.

Put a bunch of voltage
through a human body.

It's usually against
the law, isn't it?

It is also very painful.

You burn internally.

Sometimes bones
break in convulsions.

Not pleasant.

No, no, no! You
can't, I mean, it's crazy!

Torture's illegal, uh, uh...

I can't stand pain.

What do you want me to say?

What do you want me to say?

The truth is, he
conned me into it!

You gutless,
whining little wimp!

( Both yelling )

Now!

- Care to dance?
- No, thanks.

( Laughs )

( Opens door )

( Door closes )

Taxi!

( Grunts )

So how do we get
out of this country?

We don't.

We're officially crooks until
we square with the police,

which means we should
get a line on those jewels.

MacGyver... we're
wanted criminals,

we just broke out
of a torture chamber

by slugging an
inspector of police

and the head of security

for the richest
woman in the universe.

We've got no choice.

Either we're innocent,
or we're dead.

There's a third way.

This place has got to
be full of resourceful folk

who don't like les cops.

Maybe we could hire some help.

What, local crooks?

And stay on the wanted list?

Forget it.

MacGyver, we don't
know the territory.

We don't know this
con-woman's real name.

We don't know where she...

What?

Your light just went on. Give.

Well, the police have
already eliminated

a whole bunch of territory,

And we know a couple
of things they don't.

Like she took off in a chopper,

and she's probably in
Sweden or north Africa?

No, it's not likely.

That chopper took off

and reached us
at the runway here

in exactly five minutes.

You figure airspeed
of 120 miles per,

it came a little
less than ten miles.

Which means it took off

from... along this line.

Okay, it's not Sweden,

but it's still a
lot of territory.

Yeah.

But we know it came
in south by southwest,

so we trace back
north by northeast.

It intersects...

here.

There's a church

and a winery.

Liane: Oh, I shall probably
go into my wine cellar

And choose a bottle of
truly exceptional champagne.

( To himself ): Winery.

What is it?

"I'll go to the cellars

"and choose a fine
bottle of champagne

and congratulate myself."

Here. She's got to be here.

Looks like at least two
armed guards on duty.

Okay, so I guess

knocking on the
front door is out.

( Sighs )

Let's try this way.

( Fence rattles )

Take a look.

Dalton: Alarm system?

There might be more.

This guy's kind of nervous

For a lousy 32 mil in hot ice.

Let's go one at a time,

And be careful.

( Gasps )

Oh, no! No, rabbit.

Stay, stay, wait!

Ah, stop.

Stay.

No, back!

Get back!

Stay.

Oh, you...

( Alarm ringing )

Stop right there!

( Ringing continues )

MacGyver, I presume.

Search for the
other one... Dalton.

Who, Jack?

Jack's long gone.

He's gone for help.

We'll see about that.

Go.

- Let's go...
- Get him inside.

You owe me one.

Mr. Russell, welcome.

This is my
associate, liane auber.

Pleasure.

Your deception was very clever.

Thank you.

Would you care
to step inside, sir?

Look, inspector, I came here
because I know MacGyver.

I'm a friend of his.

And he's no thief.

Somehow, he's been framed.

The evidence is
overwhelming, Mr. Thornton.

Besides, we are not certain
of either criminal's identity.

They had no passports.

Well, the descriptions
you have match MacGyver

and Dalton perfectly.

They're criminals, Mr. Thornton.

My advice is that you
return to the United States.

Not until I see
them with a lawyer.

When we capture these criminals,

we shall have to
establish identities.

Question them.

It might be months
before they are allowed

to see an attorney.

We'll see about that.

Mr. Thornton...

Look, I know who you are,

But this is a criminal
case in my jurisdiction.

Any interference,
political or otherwise,

And I'll have you
deported immediately.

Is that clear?

Oh, yes.

Very.

Thank you for your courtesy.

MacGyver!

How did he find us?

And where is Dalton?

Two excellent questions.

He knows.

I think we shall
cut some answers

out of our Mr. MacGyver.

What are you talking about?

Torture.

He's talking about torture.

No.

We had an agreement.

The iturbe woman...

She loses money,
she can afford to lose,

but nobody gets hurt,
and nobody gets killed.

- I like that.
- Quiet.

Or what?

You'll blow his head off?

No.

Let me make myself
absolutely clear.

There is to be no killing.

I will not stand for it.

You won't?

So we just pack up and leave?

No, liane.

I'm content here.

I'm a respectable landowner
with a staff that's loyal.

I only have two
small areas of risk.

Our Mr. MacGyver here,

and now you.

I'm your partner.

I think I just bought you out.

Nothing else to say?

Would talking be of any use?

No.

When my auction is over,

we will finish this.

Good-bye... liane.

Position rené at
the top of the stairs.

I want no one to come down here.

Immediately, monsieur donnay.

All right, I was stupid.

For coming to my rescue?

I kind of appreciate
that, actually.

Hmm. Nevertheless, stupid.

( Sighs ): Look, we're not dead.

We've got some time to
figure a way out of here,

And Jack will be back.

Liane: Oh, Dalton?

He's an ex-smuggler
with the ethics of a weasel.

Yeah.

But he's still my friend.

So donnay called
you liane, is it?

Liane auber.

Mm.

I believe in honesty...

At least when I'm
contemplating my own death.

Look, we're gonna
get out of here.

Oh. With some help
from your friend Jack?

I doubt it.

You know I suppose
I can understand that.

Your friend plans to kill you.

My friend plans to save me.

Dalton: Look, I'll...

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'll write you a personal check.

It's drawn on an American bank.

It's better than cash.

All yours for one little job.

Help a friend of mine out of
a minor misunderstanding.

No.

All right, I'll tell you what.

I'll throw in a cash
bonus afterthe job.

Man: Why don't we do it?

Are you crazy? Let's go.

( Sighs )

Hey!

Mon ami.

My friend.

Can I talk to you?

Sure.

( Grunts )

Mr. Brizard, welcome.

Thank you.

Do come inside.

MacGyver?

What are you doing?

( Grunting )

If I can get my hands wet,
maybe I can wiggle out of this.

Oh.

( Sighs )

Oh.

Aah!

Thank you.

You're welcome. Let's go.

But we are still

Prisoners locked in.

We better work on it.

There is a man

with a gun guarding that door.

Maybe we should
consider a different way out.

That door is steel.

It is cross-braced
and double locked.

I never said it was
gonna be easy.

( Grunting )

Could you help me?

( Both grunting )

( Gulls cawing )

Thornton: 3,500.

- 4,000.
- ( Grunts )

45, 5,000, right?

Anytime.

You?!

( Grunts )

You had me slugged!

No, as a matter
of fact, I didn't,

but, uh, it's not a bad thought.

What I did was put out a
reward to have you brought in.

Oh, I'm touched.

Matter of fact, I'm bruised.

Don't tell me.

You're a secret
mediterranean crime boss.

No, what I am is a guy

With a few
connections in this area.

I used to run a
d.X.S. Operation here.

And you know what you are?

Trouble.

Now where is MacGyver?

Well...

Uh...

Actually, he's, uh...

He's being held prisoner.

Prisoner?!

I knew it. I knew it!

Jack, having you as
a friend is a little bit

Like owning a pet disease.

Why Pete, old pal, you
trying to hint you're upset?

Upset?! Why would I be upset?

Because you've done it again?

One more time, you
have conned MacGyver

into bailing you
out of something.

And now he's the
one who's deep-sixed.

Probably in a bed of quicksand.

Actually, it's a winery.

He's there with
the lupescu jewels.

A place called the
domaine donnay

right out of town.

I know the place.

Domaine donnay?

All right.

Now we're getting someplace.

We'd already learned that
the diamonds were up for sale,

and that three heavyweight
buyers are coming

into toulon to bid on them.

What we couldn't
find out was where

The whole thing
was gonna take place.

All you had to do was ask.

It makes for logic, Peter.

The buyers cross the
border with legitimate papers,

As wine merchants.

Can you find them?

It might be difficult.

Money's no object.

Jack!

In that case,

two of them have already
checked out of their hotels.

You didn't tell me that.

You didn't mention

that money was no object.

( Sighs )

the third buyer is
one August bauman

from Munich, staying at

the hotel toulonaise.

Suite 317.

( Knock at door )

Yeah, yeah.

Who is it?

Thornton ( With accent ):
Assistant manager herr bauman.

A case of wine
has arrived for you

from monsieur donnay.

Oh?

You must be a very close
friend of monsieur donnay, huh?

Actually, I have never met him,

But, uh, we are to do
business together, huh?

Champagne?

Only the best for you.

( Laughter )

- ( Glass shattering )
- Oh! Oh.

Here it is.

"Herr August bauman."

Oh, boy.

He's due at domaine
donnay in less than an hour.

No problem, we can
get there in 20 minutes.

Yeah, and do what?

Well, bust in, find
Mac, you know.

Thornton: How many
guards were there?

Uh... I saw... five.

Yeah, five.

Figure more.

No, we can't break in,
we've got to get in, somehow.

We've got to sneak in.

Disguised as what?

Mother Theresa and a leper?

Sorry.

No.

I go in.

As herr August bauman.

The third buyer.

Great thought.

Except I'm the one
that has to do it.

This needs style,
Pete, finesse, a certain,

je ne sais quoi.

What it needs is someone
the girl hasn't seen,

hasn't described
and can't recognize.

And someone the police
won't shoot on sight.

Yeah, but...

You're right.

I'll go in as a chauffeur.

What's the plan?

All right.

I play bauman.

I get us past their security.

Oh, my god.

I'm gonna have to trust you.

Thornton: I'll keep the
bidding going as long as I can.

Your job is to find MacGyver
and get him out of there.

Dalton: Gotcha.

Herr donnay?

Bauman.

Shall we get down to business?

Certainly.

This way.

Gentlemen...

Herr August bauman.

You are late.

I don't know you.

This is Mr. David Russell,
Mr. Jacques brizard.

How very interesting.

I prefer that we
waste no more time.

So?

Very well.

Gentlemen, this way.

Johann,

You will remain here.

Are you certain this will work?

Nope. But when you
release gas under pressure,

You're using one of the
basic laws of physics.

For every action,

there's an equal
and opposite reaction.

But what about this thing?

It must weigh, what,
1,000 kilograms?

Yeah, you're right.

Better haul over
another nitrogen cylinder.

We need all the
reaction we can get.

But what is the
point of all this?

There are four
armed men outside.

Maybe no point at all.

But if Jack's coming
at 'em from the outside,

I want to make sure things
are equal on the inside.

You really think he will come?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Donnay: Straight
ahead, if you will,

for our little auction.

Here?

12-inch thick stone walls.

One door.

No security risk, gentlemen.

To protect

these.

The terms... cash.

They are truly beautiful.

Uh-huh.

Delivery guaranteed.

How?

You will receive
a shipment of wine

Through the normal
legal channels.

Concealed inside... the jewels.

Undetectable.

Very efficient.

Gut.

One last point.

The bidding... U.S. dollars.

Commencing, ten million.

Robert, see to it

That herr bauman's
man is comfortable.

Gentlemen...

Monsieur... What are you doing?

I have $25 million in cash.

( Chuckling ): Makes me nervous.

$25 million?

Ja.

Don't worry.

We have complete security.

An alarm system,

and armed men on patrol.

Security? Ha!

Your boss told my boss

that you had a
break-in earlier today.

We caught him.

He is under guard
down in the wine cellar.

In the wine cellar?

Mm-hmm.

Down there?

Good, that makes me feel better.

( Quietly ): Have you ever
seen $25 million in cash?

Never.

Show me.

( Coughing )

$12 million.

$12 million five.

Thirteen.

$15 million.

Seventeen.

That's ridiculous.

Oh? Then they are mine?

No. $18 million.

Ah! I am out of it.

$20 million.

Gentlemen... take your time.

Think about herr bauman's bid.

Oh, yes.

Take all the time you like.

Georges.

Wake up!

( Cocks gun )

( Cocking gun )

Excusez-moi, s'il vous plaît,

ou est la toilette?

All right, we have to knock off

these valves, simultaneous...

( Creaking )

( Footsteps approaching )

( Whispering ): Come on.

Hey!

I should have knocked.

Jack, i'm glad it's you.

MacGyver! And the ever-lovely

Elena iturbe, or whatever.

Oh, it's nice to see you again.

She's with us, Jack.

She's agreed to
testify against donnay.

Let's get a move on before
somebody checks on us.

Never fear, old buddy.

Pete's with donnay at this
moment, buying us time.

- Pete?
- Yeah, he heard

We got our tails in a
crack, he came a-running.

He's playing one of the
buyers at donnay's auction.

I was just supposed to find you.

Which I did. Brilliantly.

In god's name, can we go?

( Yelling )

( Gunshots )

( Bolt locking )

Where'd he go?

He must have gone to tell
donnay Pete's an impostor.

Well, then, let's use this
thing to get out of here.

And leave Pete here?

No way. Where's this auction?

In the wine tasting room...

The other side of that wall.

Give me a hand.

( Grunting )

Easy...

$22,500,000.

This is insane.

I'm finished.

Going... going... gone.

He's not bauman; He's a fake.

He came with the
other one... Dalton.

Relax, gentlemen.

Dalton?

I locked him in

with MacGyver and the girl.

They are not going anywhere.

Well... I guess this means

You're not going to
sell me the jewels. So...

Very amusing.

Russell: I don't think so.

Kill him now, and let's
get on with business.

Yes.

I agree.

Good-bye, Mr... Bauman.

You know, gentlemen...

I don't think you
really want to do this.

Especially not in
front of witnesses.

But sir, we are all
accomplices here.

Yeah, I hadn't actually
thought of it that way.

Well, certainly going to make
a mess of the jewels, aren't we?

Yes.

We wouldn't want your blood

Splattered all over
the jewels, would we?

All right, that's it.

I hope this will work.

Yeah, me too; Stand back.

On three. One, two,

three!

Go!

Now, Robert.

( Yelling )

Let's go!

Stop!

Well, sorry to bust
in on you like this.

( Chuckling ): What kept you?

Hey, are we great, or what?

What a team.

And since we're
already all here together,

I heard about this
sunken treasure.

$50 million in Nazi gold.

You see, the ship was
torpedoed right up the coast,

and the gold was lost.

All we got to do

is get a diving bell and
three bathing suits, and...