MacGyver (1985–1992): Season 2, Episode 14 - Birth Day - full transcript

MacGyver: There is
a pretty simple reason

why fishermen get up
at the crack of dawn...

That's when the fish get up,

but even when I'm
not going fishing,

I like to drive across the
city that early in the morning

when there's no one else around.

You can really
feel the silence...

Most of the time.

Hi.

How about ten bucks'
worth on pump number three?

Please.



Nice day, huh?

What's so nice about it?

Right.

Yeow!

Yeah.

Nice day.

( Car pulling up )

Elaine's car's out front.

What's she doing here?

She's been here all night, man.

Acting a little bent, too.

Something's working
on her in a bad way.

Honey?

I went home and you were gone.



You had me worried.

I had you worried.

It's 6:00 A.M., Andrew.

You weren't here.

You weren't home.

Well, you know, i-i,
I'm a night person. I...

Oh, I couldn't sleep,
so I went for a drive.

Just like I usually do.

That's all.

How's the little fella doing?

You know, I'd
have to say it's true

What I've heard about an
expectant mother's glow.

You have never
looked more beautiful.

Sweetheart, what's
bothering you?

I don't like to see my
girl feeling this way.

I thought I knew you.

I've spent all night trying
to understand, but I can't.

I mean, I could have
almost accepted it

If you had an
affair or something.

I mean, I know I'm
not exactly a centerfold.

Elaine...

I-I thought we were a team.

I thought you loved me.

( Crying )

I know it's all my fault
for being so naive.

Now, now let's just calm down.

What's this all about?

It's about this halfway
house, Andrew.

It's about the
ex-cons living here.

You know what it's about.

You used me.

Hey, you're not
gonna believe this,

but, uh, somebody left
a beer bottle out there.

You're blaming me.

Oh, no, no, no, I just wanted
to buy an extra tire from you

so I didn't have
to use my spare.

You think it's my fault
'cause the bottle's out there.

No, no, really. I just
want to buy another...

You know, that's what's
wrong with the world today, man.

Everybody's blaming

Everybody for everything.

Hey, you know something?

That spare'll work just fine.

I can remember your enthusiasm
about forming this house, about

All of the convicts
we could rehabilitate.

What lies.

I don't know what
you are talking about.

I really don't.

Now, you're confused and
I want to help you on this.

I know about your deal with
the soledad brotherhood, Andrew.

I found the documents...
Forged documents

recommending early parole,

altered documents

falsifying required
drug testing.

My god.

You've virtually created

Your own private criminal army.

Elaine, I can explain...

Oh, come on.

Can you deny the,

The illegal weapons?

The drug sales? The robberies?

God knows what else.

At least have the
courtesy to cut the act!

It's all right here.

Okay... time to be honest.

Now you know,

but you don't have
to worry about it

Because they can't force you
to testify against your husband.

They won't have to force me.

Elaine, Elaine.

You're just as
much a part of this

as I am. No, no,

you married an ex-con.

You got the grants.
You formed the house.

Nobody's gonna
believe that you weren't in

on this from the beginning.

- They'll believe it.
- Yeah?

And what will your rich,

Beverly Hills friends say?

You'll look like a fool.

I am a fool.

Bye, Andrew.

Elaine.

I can't let you
leave with those.

You don't have
anything to say about it.

It's over, all of it.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

It is over.

You're insane.

You give me no choice.

( Door slams )

Elaine?

Elaine!

Elaine!

What the hell happened?

- She's gonna blow the whistle.
- What?

Andrew: She knows everything.

She's even got proof.
We gotta stop her.

Man, you can't go
anywhere right now.

- We'll get her -
Mitch, get down here.

Andrew: Don't you
understand? The documents.

You have to get the documents.

Take it easy. We will.

Find something to patch him up.

We got some business.

I'll be all right.
I'm all right.

What do you want
us to do with her?

What do you think?

What about your kid?

Don't you understand?

If she gets away, we
are all going down!

Now, move. Move.

Let's go.

Where do you think she went?

Relax. How far can a pregnant
woman get without a car?

You two go on
foot and we'll drive.

( Jeep starting )

Help! Help me!

Please.

You about to have a baby?

No!

There she is.

No, I'm about to be murdered.

Get in.

Do you know who's following us?

Friends of my husband.

Any reason why?

I'm having a girl
and he wanted a son.

Could you step on it, please?

What are you doing?

Gonna charter a
boat for your friends.

( Yells )

Come on.

Something tells me I finally met

The right man at the right time.

MacGyver: I wouldn't be so sure.

I'd say we're trapped.

I'd say we're dead.

Elaine: Why aren't
they following us?

They will be soon enough.

We're stuck.

Get out the back.

( Angry grunt )

Better call harryman.

Okay.

MacGyver: We can't
go back, we can't

go forward.

How do we get out?

We don't.

We get in.

( Grunts )

( Phone rings )

Hello.

It's Karl.

We lost 'em down by the
old factory at the wharf.

"Them"?

She jumped into some guy's Jeep.

Find them.

Let's go.

Now what?

Try to find another
way out of here.

Elaine: You make
it sound so easy.

No reason why it can't be.

Let's see if we can
find an open door

- on the other side of the building.
- Are you kidding?

I mean, with my
luck, we'll be stuck

- In this place all day.
- Come on.

Have a little
faith; We'll make it.

( Elaine gasps )

( Exhales )

You okay?

I'm having the time of my life.

No, I meant the baby.

I just felt a little
kick. We're okay.

I suppose I could've
tested this ramp

before I drove over it, huh?

And they talk about
women drivers.

Oh, sorry, it's
just that I'm having

the worst day of my life.

( Loud bang )

And maybe the last day.

Come on.

( Loud bang, glass shattering )

There's got to be an exit.

( Grunts )

Karl: Well, there's the Jeep.

They couldn't
have gotten too far.

Let's split up.

You know, we've been running
all over the place together,

- and I still don't know your name.
- Elaine... harryman.

MacGyver. Does that have
something to do with why we're running?

Believe me, you don't
want to get involved in this.

I think I already am.

My husband's an ex-convict.

- We met two years ago in the penitentiary.
- Oh, yeah?

Soledad. He was a prisoner
and I was a social worker,

and we fell in love.

Or at least I fell in love.

What happened?

I had this dream about
establishing a halfway house.

He said he wanted to
help, and I believed him.

While he was in prison?

No.

I petitioned for
his early release,

drafted the Grant requests,

And within a year, the
program was a reality.

Now I find out he used me,

Turned the halfway house
into a crime syndicate.

And what's in that
briefcase is your proof, huh?

Andrew made a deal
with a prison gang,

the soledad brotherhood.

He forged their early paroles...

And made a fool out of me.

Come on.

I can't believe the
way we came in here

is the only way out.

What shall we do?

( Door slides open in distance )

( Whispers ): Shh. Let's go.

( Gasps ): Oh!

What? What's the matter?

I don't suppose
you know anything

about delivering a baby?

I didn't think so.

I don't think right now's

such a good time for
that to be happening.

( Groans, pants )

Tell that to this kid.

( Quietly ): Not now!

The contractions just stopped.

Well-behaved kid.

( Metallic squeaking echoes )

Come on.

Right there.

( Water dripping )

( Groans ): Oh!

♪ ♪

Excuse me.

( Gunshot )

( Whispers ): Come on.

Karl, please!

I don't got a choice.

Yes, you do.

Remember the talks we
had when you first got out?

You had such big dreams.

Hey... I ain't going
back to soledad.

You have a chance
to turn your life around.

Don't let my husband
take that away from you.

Just hand over the briefcase.

( Grunts )

Sorry about that.

( Muffled grunts )

All right, I want you
guys to just sit tight.

I'll give a call to
your parole officers.

What's the matter?

My water just broke.

Your wa... your
water just broke?

The stork's
coming in a lear jet.

You're not gonna
have it now, are you?

It's gonna be okay. Relax.

I really should get
you to a hospital.

( Gasps )

I'm not going anywhere,

at least not until
these contractions stop.

Besides, this is a fitting place

for Andrew's
child to be born in.

He's your child, too.

If you would've met
me a few weeks ago,

you would've met the
happiest woman in the world.

I wanted this baby
more than anything.

Now I'm giving
it up for adoption.

( Exhales )

It kicked me.

Maybe he's trying
to tell you something.

Come on, come on, answer!

( Phone ringing )

( Ringing continues )

Damn it!

How many men we got upstairs?

Half a dozen or so. Why?

'Cause I haven't heard
from Eric and Karl.

Get 'em ready, just in case.

( Exhales )

( Sharp exhalation )

( Slow exhalation )

What're you doing?

Exercises.

I started with pushups,
but they didn't work,

so I went right to breathing.

Oh, funny.

It was a little joke,
MacGyver. Loosen up.

That's easy for you to say...
I'm about to deliver a baby.

I don't know, you might
be off the hook here.

Say that again.

I don't know, these labor
pains seem to come and go.

My hormones feel like
the ringling brothers circus.

( Gasps, exhales )

( Sighs ): Oh...

it's trying to fool me into
a false sense of security,

just like its father did.

A tiny criminal mind
already at work here.

Maybe he just wants
some of your attention.

He doesn't have
anybody else in this world.

Yeah, well, neither do I.

I have parents and everything.

I even have a brother.

But I was always the
black sheep, you know?

Not quite good-looking enough,

always crusading
for the less fortunate

When I should have been
dining with the joneses.

My life's the old cliché... them
giving me money instead of love.

I'm all alone out there.

He's all alone in there.

Sounds like the two of you
got something in common.

Where are you going?

To get the two of you some
transportation out of here.

Maybe we can help.
What do you say? Huh?

All right.

Do you believe
in fate, MacGyver?

Well, I do... whenever
I do anything good,

it turns out bad, and whenever

I do anything bad,
it turns out worse.

I think we've been pretty
lucky to come as far as we have.

Things could be worse.

Aah! Ow!

You were saying?

Just crank the wheel, please.

( Mechanical whirring )

- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I will be

As soon as I get the
two of you to the hospital.

I can't wait to see how
you'll get us out of this pit.

( Starts engine )

Me, too.

♪ ♪

Do you really think
this is going to work?

Well, I think if you
try hard enough

and make the
best of a situation,

The situation won't
get the best of you.

Boy, I'd rather have you
around than Dr. Spock any day.

Besides, it's
decided to take a nap.

I hope he takes a long one.

You keep calling it a "he."

What makes you so
sure it's gonna be a boy?

Just a hunch.

( Starts engine )

( Tires squeal )

Yeah.

( Grunts ): Ya...

Did you recognize him?

My husband.

Makes a great first
impression, doesn't he?

Yeah.

( Tires squealing )

Something tells me he's
got a faster car than we do.

Guess who bought it for him.

( Starter motor grinding )

( Engine starts )

Are you sure about this?

Yeah. We need a lift.

You said everything
was going to turn out fine.

Well, I'm sure trying.

I'm sorry.

This isn't your fault.

If it wasn't for me,

you could run right out of here.

If it wasn't for this baby, I
could run right out of here.

Listen, what do you
say we stick together

And get all of us
out of here, huh?

Help.

In here. Get us out.

Help!

Won't he just come
up in the elevator?

Nah, it won't work

when the doors are open.

I think the only way

We're going to get out
of here is in this Jeep.

How do we do that?
Fly it out a window?

If that's what it takes.

Aren't we taking this
positive thinking a little far?

That guy with her
isn't normal, man.

Guess what? Neither are you.

Elaine: Any ideas?

Yeah, maybe.

Those straps
look like they'll fit.

It's the weight
I'm worried about.

They'll support us.

Positive thinking. I'm trying.

All right, you get on
that phone and call Mitch.

Have him get everybody down
here and surround this perimeter.

Nobody gets out.
Do you understand?

All right, I'm going up.

You stay here in case
they come back down.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

MacGyver!

We're right back
where we started.

We're still trapped.

Only on the outside.

We're not going back in there?

Yeah, I think we are.

They're in the alley.

( Gunshots )

( Tires squealing )

Boy, I sure will be glad
to get out of this place.

We may have to
postpone that for a while.

Elaine: Oh no.

Oh yes.

Where are we going?

That door up there.

Elaine: We don't have
time to stop and open it.

Who said anything
about stopping?

What, are you nuts?!

After them. After them.

Why are we stopping here?

We'll never outrun them,

But we might be able to buy
some time with a little camouflage.

Duck down.

Better stay down.

Are you ever wrong
about anything?

Never.

Well, once. Maybe twice.

Once is all it takes
to ruin your life.

You're sure? You're
absolutely positive?

They didn't come past here.

I can't believe the man in
that car is the man I married.

He told me he loved me
more than anything in the world.

He made me feel like
I was worth something.

You don't need him
to feel like that, do you?

Let's face it, MacGyver,

I'm about as boring and
generic as they come.

I would feel right at home

dressed in a plain
brown wrapper.

( Chuckles )

What?

Oh, I, I just had this
image of you dressed in a...

grocery bag,
that's all. I'm sorry.

They'd have to double bag me.

You're way too
good for that guy.

You know that.

Believe it.

You two backtrack
through this place on foot.

You get back to the front gate.

You two, stay here.

This should keep them
from spotting you for a while.

You just never give up, do you?

No, ma'am, I don't.

The whole place is surrounded.

Yeah, but I've got a plan.

We're going to have to signal
somebody on the outside.

How are you going to do that?

I haven't figured that out yet.

Great.

Maybe one of those old
boats have got a flare gun in it.

MacGyver, just in case

We don't get to breathe in
the smog tomorrow, I'd just...

Hey, there's no forecast
for smog tomorrow.

We're both going to
be around to enjoy it.

We will?

Uh...

Yeah, we have to.

I haven't gotten
to go fishing yet.

♪ ♪

( Grunts )

Not bad, MacGyver.

Eh.

But we've got
bigger fish to catch.

Listen, you're going to have to
be as quiet as you possibly can.

I'll come back for you.

I promise.

( Engine revs )

♪ ♪

Good thing about boats,

some of the stuff you find on
them work just as well on land

as they do on sea.

Finding a flare gun
would've been nice,

But signal flags
are almost as good.

Each flag has a
different pattern

which stands for
a different letter.

I could say a whole
lot with these flags,

but just one word
came to mind...

Help.

Now I just had
to figure out a way

To get someone
to see these flags...

The right someone.

Sailboats have sails.

What I needed was
the bag they came in.

It was just the ticket to
get my message across,

Or rather up.

The next step was
finding something

to get it high
enough to be seen,

and I wasn't about to be pick.

Desperation tends to
make one sort of flexible.

Industrial gases.

One of those tanks
might do the trick.

Yo!

Of all the gases
available to me,

the only one that
would lift the sail bag

was in this tank...

( Air hisses briefly )

Or this tank.

( Gas hisses )

I still had one problem, though,

But that water might
help me solve it.

Helium molecules are
the smallest of all gases.

They'd slip through
the sail bag weave

like smoke through
a window screen.

By soaking the bag,

the surface tension of the water

could plug up the
holes in the fabric.

One helium balloon coming up.

Oh...

( Breathes hard )

Oh.

( Seagulls cawing )

( Groans ): Oh.

Oh, hurry, MacGyver.

Oh...

( Panting )

( Hissing )

( Groans ): Oh.

Oh. Oh.

MacGyver: I knew
harryman's boys would see

The balloon and the flags.

I'd have to deal with that.

But I hoped someone
else would see 'em, too.

Someone who could
figure out what they meant.

What the...

You guys stay here.

( Engine revving )

- Aah.
- ( Grunts )

( Thudding )

( Moaning )

( Clattering )

( Gulls cawing )

( Clinking )

( Sighs )

Ooh.

( Moaning )

( Moaning and panting )

( Garbled radio transmission )

Look at the balloon
and flag on the factory.

Must be some kids

Monkeying around.

( Garbled radio transmission )

Hand me the binoculars.

( Over radio ): Unit
one 11, stand by.

16 xray, three two, go ahead.

No kids put that together.

Call headquarters.

Have 'em roll some backup.

Those signal flags say
somebody needs help.

How do you know that?

Four years in the Navy

is how I know that.

Call 'em.

Five-Adam-16,
five-Adam-16 reporting...

( Moaning )

Sorry to have to do this.

I really am.

( Exhales )

No, you're not.

( Panting )

It took me too long to
realize, but I know now

you're incapable
of feeling sorry

for anything you've done.

Bleeding hearts.

You're all the same.

Did you really
think I was capable

of falling for someone like you?

Yes, I did.

I guess because I
needed to believe it.

But you know what?

( Panting )

You're the loser, not me.

I know that now.

So go ahead and do
whatever you have to do.

Whatever you say.

MacGyver: I
wouldn't if I were you.

Oh.

( Thud )

( Grunting )

( Grunting )

( Grunting, blow landing )

( Grunts )

How are you doing?

Terrific.

Oh!

( Panting )

What? Now?

Now.

Huh?

( Garbled radio transmission )

How is she?

Both mother and
daughter are doing fine.

Daughter?

She had a girl?

Elaine wants to see you.

( Seagulls cawing )

( Cooing )

Hi.

Well, you see,
she didn't exactly

Turn out to be the monster
you thought she'd be.

I know.

That's what scares me.

( Cooing )

Oh.

I-I suppose I could keep
her on-on a trial basis.

You know, for a week or two?

Yeah.

A lot of people do that.

( Cooing )