MacGyver (1985–1992): Season 1, Episode 3 - Thief of Budapest - full transcript
MacGyver sneaks in a Middle Eastern tribal leader's camp to return a priceless thoroughbred, the theft of which was fared to start a tribal war which might sparkle a big one, is cornered, wins the duel unarmed on horseback and is picked up with the precious mount; that story ends well right there. Just back, Mac is personally asked to receive confidential information from fellow secret agent Nikolaj Grodsky in then communist Hungary's capital Budapast. He catches gypsy girl Jana picking his knife from his pocket, only to find after he lets her go she struck again already. The thief picked Nikolaj's pocket too, unnoticed, just before he's terminally hit by a car when running for Russian agent Kossov, who searches the corps in vain for his watch but sees Mac and Jana on traffic camera recordings and orders both brought in, helped by Hungarian police inspector Jan Messic. When Mac finds Jana, she tells him in tears to fear for her family as she already passed the watch to her brother Bruno; once they find Bruno and the others in Borza political prison, Mac springs them free in his surprising explosive way, only to hear the watch was already sold to gypsy fence Reena, who lets him take it when Kossov and Messic arrive. The four gypsies asks Mac to take them to America, so it's a hot race to the Austrian border...
There was a time
when about the worst thing
you could say about a man
Was that he was a horse thief.
In some places,
that's still true today,
particularly when the
horse that gets stolen
Belongs to a king.
And it's considered to be
maybe the most
expensive horse alive.
When's it's a tribal
leader who does the stealing,
You've got the
makings of a small war.
And 'cause small wars have a way
of becoming big ones,
it saves a lot of trouble
if the horse gets back
to where it belongs.
No!
Don't shoot!
You'll hit the horse!
Typical.
Just when you're getting ahead,
somebody always
changes the odds.
Halt!
He is mine.
You know, we could
go back to your place
And talk about this.
Nah, didn't think so.
Hyah!
Kill him!
I'm with you, pal.
I hate heights.
You know,
my life is like a rubber ball.
No sooner do I get
the horse returned,
and I bounce right into
another assignment.
Intelligence agents are
a very cautious bunch.
Take nicolai
grodsky, for example,
an old buddy of mine.
He's got some top
secret information,
and, like any good agent,
he'll only hand it over
to someone he trusts,
in this case, me.
And that's just fine.
I get to visit Budapest again.
And having a big road
rally in town is like a bonus.
Sorry.
Hey!
No!
Good opening move.
Nice fast dip, good carry.
On a scale of one
to ten, ten being best,
give you about a
six, maybe a seven,
But you looked
down at your hand.
That's a cardinal no-no!
You gypsy?
No, not that I know of.
Why?
'Cause it takes a
gypsy to catch a gypsy.
You look American.
Want a guide?
Jana is the best.
I don't think I'll be
needing no guide.
I've been here quite
a few times before.
Thank you.
Okay, then I sell you a
special gypsy blessing.
Keep you safe.
Sell? You wanna
sell me something?
- I just caught you...
- Okay, okay.
For free.
'Cause you caught me.
That's right.
- Taught me a lesson.
- Uh-huh.
For free.
All right!
Go in safety.
Find what you seek.
Thank you, jana.
That was very nice.
She did it again!
He has been
walking around for three hours.
Grodsky
is a cautious man.
Not surprising
in a double agent,
which is why
Moscow wants pictures
of whomever he contacts.
The watch looks very valuable.
Valuable?
It contains the name
of a dozen key kgb
agents in england.
We want the watch and
grodsky and his contacts.
Yo, grods!
MacGyver!
I didn't expect you, old friend.
Yeah, kind of a
surprise to me, too.
A pleasant one, I might add.
How are you doing, Nicki?
With you as my
contact now, perfect.
I have the names in
my watch, but not here.
The cafe Mozart, remember?
Keep taping!
Whoo!
Here's your newspaper, sir.
Oh, thank you.
Grodsky!
Nicolai grodsky!
Is he all right?
He is dead!
The American
he spoke to at
the trash barrel...
Where is he?
That's him!
Yo, grods!
Freeze.
Now close up.
Now fast-forward until...
there.
Here's your newspaper, sir.
Tighter.
The watch.
Uh-huh.
I want that girl.
And the man.
Both, inspector.
Well, I will try, but
it may be difficult.
Inspector messic, I am Russian,
you are Hungarian.
But I'm sure we are
comrades in socialist reality.
Please, comrade kossov,
my government has
given me instructions.
I am at your disposal.
We will run this
man's photograph
through the border control,
through all the hotels,
The banks, the railways,
the airport authorities.
We will find him.
And have you checked the girl?
A gypsy.
Budapest has gypsies
like a dog has fleas.
They have no
papers, no addresses.
They change their names...
Inspector messic,
Ivan, I love Budapest...
Good food, excellent
wine, charming women.
But if I do not retrieve
grodsky's watch,
I will return to
Moscow in disgrace.
An ugly, cold city.
And if I am cold,
you could freeze to death.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
Luck to you, sir.
May your beauty increase,
if that were possible, ma'am.
Thank you.
Hi.
I'm in the market for
a Swiss army knife.
Jana!
Don't
worry about jana.
She can vanish like a
shadow in the sunshine.
All right. Okay. I've got it.
Right here.
Thank you very much.
Now I want the watch.
Gypsies don't need a watch.
They don't tell time.
Jana, don't mess with me.
It's worth a lot, huh?
A very good friend of mine
was killed for that watch.
What do you think?
Okay, MacGyver,
I'll get your watch.
"Get"?
You will get me the watch?
I gave it to my brother, Bruno.
All right, let's go talk
to your brother, Bruno.
Police!
Hey...
Bruno!
Let me go!
My brother! My brother!
They killed your friend?
Yeah.
So what are they
gonna do to my family?
Nice place.
Boaza prison, a place
for political people.
I don't understand, MacGyver.
My family's not bad.
Why would they bring
them to a special prison?
Is it the watch?
I'm afraid so, honey.
Saint dismas.
Patron Saint of thieves.
Hope he's working today.
Today he has to work extra hard.
They confess to everything...
And nothing.
They tell a lie
and lie about lying.
They're gypsies.
They're trying
to protect the girl.
Eh, she's family.
But the American...
MacGyver.
We have a name and a picture
While he has the watch.
So, we hold them here in boaza,
and we'll continue to look
for the American and the girl.
I assume suitable pressure
Will be applied to this scum.
I don't like that,
comrade major.
I will do what I must
to get the watch back.
I'm not a sadist.
I'm a realist.
24 hours. No more.
Then, my way.
Shh. Hush.
You want a drink, gypsy?
Ah, gypsies, they're
like mongrel dogs.
It's a public service
when you kill one.
Why do they hate us?
Some people are scared
Of anybody who runs free.
Don't worry, jana.
We'll figure a way
to get them out.
Jana, you say the supply truck
gets here about 5:00?
Yeah, MacGyver.
But... but they search
it before it goes out.
They'd be stupid not to.
MacGyver,
this doesn't make
any sense to me.
Think of it as a
light bulb sandwich
And hope they swallow it.
Truck should be here any minute.
Let's go!
Excuse me, guys.
My mom
had a chili recipe
That would just about
blow your socks off.
Shake of this, pinch of
that, and just let it cook.
I changed the
ingredients a little...
Salt, sugar, weed killer.
I wouldn't want to eat it,
but the end result should be...
Dynamite.
Jana thought you might
want to get out of here.
You American?
From the street corner.
Name's MacGyver.
How do you arrange this leaving?
Well, I've got some plans.
You guys just hang
tough, all right?
Okay, guys, get crazy.
Ah, get off my foot, you...!
Back to work! Back!
Chili
should nearly be cooked.
Time to wrap this thing up.
It's an escape plan!
Jana, let's go!
Okay,
you guys, settle down.
Now, where's my watch?
I sold it.
You sold it?!
The man who
said life is just a bowl of cherries
had it wrong.
It's a bowl of
Hungarian goulash...
Hot and sticky.
And I'm not that hungry.
Hi.
Am I too late for happy hour?
Jana's
brother sold the watch
To another gypsy, a
fence named reena.
Trendy little joint
she's got here.
I see the beautiful
people just stopped in
To have a quick
cocktail before the ballet.
Evening, gents.
I'm looking for a, uh...
for reena.
Reena?
That is a nice name.
What is yours?
MacGyver.
What do you want,
MacGyver?
Well, now, that's
kind of personal...
And important, too.
Then we are truly interested.
Where do you come from and why?
What exactly is your
business with reena?
Well, now, you seem to
be asking more questions
than I'm willing to
answer at the moment.
Boys, boys... let's talk.
See, I'm just kind
of a peace-loving guy
like the rest of you.
I like a good time.
Let's not be ridiculous.
Now that I have your
undivided attention...
MacGyver,
I am reena.
Why don't we talk?
Okay.
Excuse me.
You know, I really
don't drink too much.
Virtuous or suspicious?
- Habit.
No matter. To your
health, MacGyver...
which would be
in considerable risk
if I sent you back downstairs.
Yeah, is there a
back way out of here?
Of course. Several... But
you have to earn them.
Which brings us to business.
You are American.
What are you
selling, blue jeans?
Buying... watches.
Uh-huh. Digital or spring-wound?
Old-fashioned.
It's a family heirloom.
Yeah, I know. I know the
family that sold it to you.
Those stinking gypsy wharf rats.
If their hides were
worth the trouble,
I'd have them gutted,
skinned and used as rugs.
I thought you were a gypsy, too.
I am. Takes one to know one.
And how do you
know them, MacGyver?
Oh, call it luck.
I know exactly what you mean.
Now... tell me why this is worth
so much to you.
You're okay, reena.
I think I'm going to have
to be honest with you.
Never say that to a
gypsy. It makes us nervous.
Okay.
The watch carries information.
I want it, your police want it,
The Russians want it
bad enough to kill for it.
You're telling the truth.
That your lie detector?
Gypsy magic... and, like most
gypsy magic, a cheat, but nice.
You said information.
You mean political? What kind?
Let me show you.
Yeah.
Names...
Of some of their people.
Who spy on
some of your people.
Yeah, something like that.
What are you offering, MacGyver?
Well, reena, I don't
have a lot of cash on me.
Do you take plastic?
I don't deal in credit.
You can't afford to
buy it, MacGyver...
So it's a gift.
I owe you one.
Taxi!
Come on!
Hurry up! The police
are right behind us.
- Got it.
- Yeah.
MacGyver!
So you owe us for
helping you, right?
Jana...
It's only that we
like you, MacGyver.
We want to go with you.
Where?
America! America!
Right, right.
The u. S. Of a.
Clint Eastwood. Coca-Cola.
Jana...
Girls just wanna have fun.
Please.
Oh, no...
Can you get mechanics'
overalls for the whole family?
Like a shoot. Why?
'Cause we're going to have
to get across the border fast.
That rally at boot park's
got all kinds of racing cars,
And I figure we're going
to have to borrow a few.
You know what I mean?
I think tamasz is going to
be unhappy about his taxi.
It's okay. We'll be in america.
All right, you all
know what to do?
- Yes.
- Let's go!
A credit card can
usually get you out of a jam.
I'm hoping this will create one.
So, what did he say?
They found that
gypsy taxi in boot park.
And MacGyver?
Make the assumption.
You may save yourself
those cold winters
in Moscow, comrade.
Let's go!
All mobile
units, close pursuit!
What is wrong with
the traffic signals?
That will do no good.
I'm right behind them.
Motorcycle police.
They got through the
traffic jam, MacGyver.
Hang on.
We're just going to have to go
where they can't for now.
Why are all the
lights against us?!
Inspector, can't
you go any faster?
It's delicious!
We can't go this way, MacGyver!
Into the horvath building?
Connect with two
underground garages?
St. dismas,
St. dismas, St. dismas!
Whoa!
Rock and roll.
Is this what you wanted it for?
Not exactly.
Get some duct tape
out of my pocket.
Okay.
We are closing in.
Now,
take the police radio
and tape it to your transistor.
Heading to intercept.
They've already
crossed half the city.
They are heading for St. Ivan's.
Inspector messic here.
All units, all units seal off
The church of St. Ivan.
Is this okay, MacGyver?
Yeah, not bad.
Now, if we can get that
up on something tall,
we can blow out
police radios for a mile.
That's unbearable!
What is... What's going on?
Can't you turn that off?
Is that your tall building?
It's the best I could do.
It's terrific!
Inspector messic here.
Messic here.
Can you read me?
This is inspector messic.
Aah!
They're heading for the border.
I sure hope your
cousin's gotten to the gate in time.
No! They're in Austria!
We can't afford
a major incident.
Thank you, comrade major.
MacGyver!
I'll remember him.
You got it!
All right!
MacGyver, how can I...?
How can we...?
Ah, come on,
there's nothing to it.
It'll take a couple of
days to get you processed,
But you're on your way.
Whoo, we're free!
You're leaving us now?
Well, yeah, honey, I have to.
Hey...
Here.
But you need it.
Now, come on, you earned it.
Jana, you don't have to do this.
You earned it.
Come here.
when about the worst thing
you could say about a man
Was that he was a horse thief.
In some places,
that's still true today,
particularly when the
horse that gets stolen
Belongs to a king.
And it's considered to be
maybe the most
expensive horse alive.
When's it's a tribal
leader who does the stealing,
You've got the
makings of a small war.
And 'cause small wars have a way
of becoming big ones,
it saves a lot of trouble
if the horse gets back
to where it belongs.
No!
Don't shoot!
You'll hit the horse!
Typical.
Just when you're getting ahead,
somebody always
changes the odds.
Halt!
He is mine.
You know, we could
go back to your place
And talk about this.
Nah, didn't think so.
Hyah!
Kill him!
I'm with you, pal.
I hate heights.
You know,
my life is like a rubber ball.
No sooner do I get
the horse returned,
and I bounce right into
another assignment.
Intelligence agents are
a very cautious bunch.
Take nicolai
grodsky, for example,
an old buddy of mine.
He's got some top
secret information,
and, like any good agent,
he'll only hand it over
to someone he trusts,
in this case, me.
And that's just fine.
I get to visit Budapest again.
And having a big road
rally in town is like a bonus.
Sorry.
Hey!
No!
Good opening move.
Nice fast dip, good carry.
On a scale of one
to ten, ten being best,
give you about a
six, maybe a seven,
But you looked
down at your hand.
That's a cardinal no-no!
You gypsy?
No, not that I know of.
Why?
'Cause it takes a
gypsy to catch a gypsy.
You look American.
Want a guide?
Jana is the best.
I don't think I'll be
needing no guide.
I've been here quite
a few times before.
Thank you.
Okay, then I sell you a
special gypsy blessing.
Keep you safe.
Sell? You wanna
sell me something?
- I just caught you...
- Okay, okay.
For free.
'Cause you caught me.
That's right.
- Taught me a lesson.
- Uh-huh.
For free.
All right!
Go in safety.
Find what you seek.
Thank you, jana.
That was very nice.
She did it again!
He has been
walking around for three hours.
Grodsky
is a cautious man.
Not surprising
in a double agent,
which is why
Moscow wants pictures
of whomever he contacts.
The watch looks very valuable.
Valuable?
It contains the name
of a dozen key kgb
agents in england.
We want the watch and
grodsky and his contacts.
Yo, grods!
MacGyver!
I didn't expect you, old friend.
Yeah, kind of a
surprise to me, too.
A pleasant one, I might add.
How are you doing, Nicki?
With you as my
contact now, perfect.
I have the names in
my watch, but not here.
The cafe Mozart, remember?
Keep taping!
Whoo!
Here's your newspaper, sir.
Oh, thank you.
Grodsky!
Nicolai grodsky!
Is he all right?
He is dead!
The American
he spoke to at
the trash barrel...
Where is he?
That's him!
Yo, grods!
Freeze.
Now close up.
Now fast-forward until...
there.
Here's your newspaper, sir.
Tighter.
The watch.
Uh-huh.
I want that girl.
And the man.
Both, inspector.
Well, I will try, but
it may be difficult.
Inspector messic, I am Russian,
you are Hungarian.
But I'm sure we are
comrades in socialist reality.
Please, comrade kossov,
my government has
given me instructions.
I am at your disposal.
We will run this
man's photograph
through the border control,
through all the hotels,
The banks, the railways,
the airport authorities.
We will find him.
And have you checked the girl?
A gypsy.
Budapest has gypsies
like a dog has fleas.
They have no
papers, no addresses.
They change their names...
Inspector messic,
Ivan, I love Budapest...
Good food, excellent
wine, charming women.
But if I do not retrieve
grodsky's watch,
I will return to
Moscow in disgrace.
An ugly, cold city.
And if I am cold,
you could freeze to death.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
Luck to you, sir.
May your beauty increase,
if that were possible, ma'am.
Thank you.
Hi.
I'm in the market for
a Swiss army knife.
Jana!
Don't
worry about jana.
She can vanish like a
shadow in the sunshine.
All right. Okay. I've got it.
Right here.
Thank you very much.
Now I want the watch.
Gypsies don't need a watch.
They don't tell time.
Jana, don't mess with me.
It's worth a lot, huh?
A very good friend of mine
was killed for that watch.
What do you think?
Okay, MacGyver,
I'll get your watch.
"Get"?
You will get me the watch?
I gave it to my brother, Bruno.
All right, let's go talk
to your brother, Bruno.
Police!
Hey...
Bruno!
Let me go!
My brother! My brother!
They killed your friend?
Yeah.
So what are they
gonna do to my family?
Nice place.
Boaza prison, a place
for political people.
I don't understand, MacGyver.
My family's not bad.
Why would they bring
them to a special prison?
Is it the watch?
I'm afraid so, honey.
Saint dismas.
Patron Saint of thieves.
Hope he's working today.
Today he has to work extra hard.
They confess to everything...
And nothing.
They tell a lie
and lie about lying.
They're gypsies.
They're trying
to protect the girl.
Eh, she's family.
But the American...
MacGyver.
We have a name and a picture
While he has the watch.
So, we hold them here in boaza,
and we'll continue to look
for the American and the girl.
I assume suitable pressure
Will be applied to this scum.
I don't like that,
comrade major.
I will do what I must
to get the watch back.
I'm not a sadist.
I'm a realist.
24 hours. No more.
Then, my way.
Shh. Hush.
You want a drink, gypsy?
Ah, gypsies, they're
like mongrel dogs.
It's a public service
when you kill one.
Why do they hate us?
Some people are scared
Of anybody who runs free.
Don't worry, jana.
We'll figure a way
to get them out.
Jana, you say the supply truck
gets here about 5:00?
Yeah, MacGyver.
But... but they search
it before it goes out.
They'd be stupid not to.
MacGyver,
this doesn't make
any sense to me.
Think of it as a
light bulb sandwich
And hope they swallow it.
Truck should be here any minute.
Let's go!
Excuse me, guys.
My mom
had a chili recipe
That would just about
blow your socks off.
Shake of this, pinch of
that, and just let it cook.
I changed the
ingredients a little...
Salt, sugar, weed killer.
I wouldn't want to eat it,
but the end result should be...
Dynamite.
Jana thought you might
want to get out of here.
You American?
From the street corner.
Name's MacGyver.
How do you arrange this leaving?
Well, I've got some plans.
You guys just hang
tough, all right?
Okay, guys, get crazy.
Ah, get off my foot, you...!
Back to work! Back!
Chili
should nearly be cooked.
Time to wrap this thing up.
It's an escape plan!
Jana, let's go!
Okay,
you guys, settle down.
Now, where's my watch?
I sold it.
You sold it?!
The man who
said life is just a bowl of cherries
had it wrong.
It's a bowl of
Hungarian goulash...
Hot and sticky.
And I'm not that hungry.
Hi.
Am I too late for happy hour?
Jana's
brother sold the watch
To another gypsy, a
fence named reena.
Trendy little joint
she's got here.
I see the beautiful
people just stopped in
To have a quick
cocktail before the ballet.
Evening, gents.
I'm looking for a, uh...
for reena.
Reena?
That is a nice name.
What is yours?
MacGyver.
What do you want,
MacGyver?
Well, now, that's
kind of personal...
And important, too.
Then we are truly interested.
Where do you come from and why?
What exactly is your
business with reena?
Well, now, you seem to
be asking more questions
than I'm willing to
answer at the moment.
Boys, boys... let's talk.
See, I'm just kind
of a peace-loving guy
like the rest of you.
I like a good time.
Let's not be ridiculous.
Now that I have your
undivided attention...
MacGyver,
I am reena.
Why don't we talk?
Okay.
Excuse me.
You know, I really
don't drink too much.
Virtuous or suspicious?
- Habit.
No matter. To your
health, MacGyver...
which would be
in considerable risk
if I sent you back downstairs.
Yeah, is there a
back way out of here?
Of course. Several... But
you have to earn them.
Which brings us to business.
You are American.
What are you
selling, blue jeans?
Buying... watches.
Uh-huh. Digital or spring-wound?
Old-fashioned.
It's a family heirloom.
Yeah, I know. I know the
family that sold it to you.
Those stinking gypsy wharf rats.
If their hides were
worth the trouble,
I'd have them gutted,
skinned and used as rugs.
I thought you were a gypsy, too.
I am. Takes one to know one.
And how do you
know them, MacGyver?
Oh, call it luck.
I know exactly what you mean.
Now... tell me why this is worth
so much to you.
You're okay, reena.
I think I'm going to have
to be honest with you.
Never say that to a
gypsy. It makes us nervous.
Okay.
The watch carries information.
I want it, your police want it,
The Russians want it
bad enough to kill for it.
You're telling the truth.
That your lie detector?
Gypsy magic... and, like most
gypsy magic, a cheat, but nice.
You said information.
You mean political? What kind?
Let me show you.
Yeah.
Names...
Of some of their people.
Who spy on
some of your people.
Yeah, something like that.
What are you offering, MacGyver?
Well, reena, I don't
have a lot of cash on me.
Do you take plastic?
I don't deal in credit.
You can't afford to
buy it, MacGyver...
So it's a gift.
I owe you one.
Taxi!
Come on!
Hurry up! The police
are right behind us.
- Got it.
- Yeah.
MacGyver!
So you owe us for
helping you, right?
Jana...
It's only that we
like you, MacGyver.
We want to go with you.
Where?
America! America!
Right, right.
The u. S. Of a.
Clint Eastwood. Coca-Cola.
Jana...
Girls just wanna have fun.
Please.
Oh, no...
Can you get mechanics'
overalls for the whole family?
Like a shoot. Why?
'Cause we're going to have
to get across the border fast.
That rally at boot park's
got all kinds of racing cars,
And I figure we're going
to have to borrow a few.
You know what I mean?
I think tamasz is going to
be unhappy about his taxi.
It's okay. We'll be in america.
All right, you all
know what to do?
- Yes.
- Let's go!
A credit card can
usually get you out of a jam.
I'm hoping this will create one.
So, what did he say?
They found that
gypsy taxi in boot park.
And MacGyver?
Make the assumption.
You may save yourself
those cold winters
in Moscow, comrade.
Let's go!
All mobile
units, close pursuit!
What is wrong with
the traffic signals?
That will do no good.
I'm right behind them.
Motorcycle police.
They got through the
traffic jam, MacGyver.
Hang on.
We're just going to have to go
where they can't for now.
Why are all the
lights against us?!
Inspector, can't
you go any faster?
It's delicious!
We can't go this way, MacGyver!
Into the horvath building?
Connect with two
underground garages?
St. dismas,
St. dismas, St. dismas!
Whoa!
Rock and roll.
Is this what you wanted it for?
Not exactly.
Get some duct tape
out of my pocket.
Okay.
We are closing in.
Now,
take the police radio
and tape it to your transistor.
Heading to intercept.
They've already
crossed half the city.
They are heading for St. Ivan's.
Inspector messic here.
All units, all units seal off
The church of St. Ivan.
Is this okay, MacGyver?
Yeah, not bad.
Now, if we can get that
up on something tall,
we can blow out
police radios for a mile.
That's unbearable!
What is... What's going on?
Can't you turn that off?
Is that your tall building?
It's the best I could do.
It's terrific!
Inspector messic here.
Messic here.
Can you read me?
This is inspector messic.
Aah!
They're heading for the border.
I sure hope your
cousin's gotten to the gate in time.
No! They're in Austria!
We can't afford
a major incident.
Thank you, comrade major.
MacGyver!
I'll remember him.
You got it!
All right!
MacGyver, how can I...?
How can we...?
Ah, come on,
there's nothing to it.
It'll take a couple of
days to get you processed,
But you're on your way.
Whoo, we're free!
You're leaving us now?
Well, yeah, honey, I have to.
Hey...
Here.
But you need it.
Now, come on, you earned it.
Jana, you don't have to do this.
You earned it.
Come here.