MacGyver (1985–1992): Season 1, Episode 18 - Ugly Duckling - full transcript

Okay, hold it right there.

- Let's check out the merchandise.
- All right.

Let's see if we got
what we paid for, huh?

Looks like a missile to me.

All right!

Overhead! Watch it!

Inside!

That's great.
Okay, I'll see you.

Excuse me.

Yeah, what's happening?

Do it, man, do it!



Oh, yeah.

Yeah! Yeah...

Yeah.

It was great, man.

Professor Willis,

This drink is from
that man right there.

My favorite drink.

You remembered, Mac.

Who's he with now?

Get the car.

Tell Hank we may have
another one to deal with.

Okay.

Mac, the answer is no.

You don't even
know what I want yet.



Sure I do.

You want the answer
to the glitch I discovered

in the army's snake-eye
missile's guidance system.

Or how to fix it, correct?

That's part of it.

And they sent you to me

Because they figure you
have some pull with me.

Don't I?

Yeah, you do.

Professor, "they" said

You had one of your students
work on the problem with you.

Just like we did when
you were in my classes.

Well, yeah, but I don't
remember ever breaking in

To the defense
department's computer.

Now, that was innocent
eagerness, Mac.

Kate saw the problem,
went for the solution.

Now, you do remember

Having that passion to
find solutions, don't you?

Yes, sir, I guess I do.

She's a bona fide genius, Mac.

Mm. But she's
also still just a kid.

My people just want
to talk to her, professor.

Now, I will not
give them anything

until I get their word of
honor they'll leave her alone.

Yes, that's what I remember
about you, professor.

The student always came first.

Well,

good ones like
Kate... They are rare.

Then there's macgyvers
who have to have

their brains rattled
every now and then

just to make sure
they're still in tune.

Yes, sir.

Well, the best brain
rattler was always

listening to you howl
away on a saxophone.

Merely an indulgence
just to regenerate the mind.

Uh-huh.

Go ahead, arrange it.

Arrange a meeting.

When I get assurances
from everyone

that there will not be any
nastiness, then we'll talk

about turning over the
answers to the guidance system.

Here you are.

Oh, thank you.

I want to go to his concert.

Oh, yeah, definitely.

Hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Get into the car!

Hey, what do you
think you're doing?

- Grab the old goat.
- Hey.

Hey!

What?

Get down.

Give me that!

Get in the car! Let's hit it!

Yeah, right!

Professor.

You all right?

You think they
didn't like my music?

- I'll get an ambulance.

No. No, don't bother.

No. "'Tis not so deep as a well,

"nor so wide as a church door,

But 'Tis enough, t'will serve."

Yes, sir.

But you have one
of the finest minds

I have ever encountered.

Young man,

I expect you to... to...

He was the
toughest professor I ever had,

And everybody loved him.

I'm sorry, Mac.

I know how much he meant to you.

Listen, are you sure

that they just
meant to grab him?

That gunshot was an accident?

Yeah, I'm positive.

Pete, how important
was that system

he was working on?

It was meant as an upgrade
for the old snake-eye missile.

Extended range, variable
use, pinpoint accuracy.

Well, now the snake-eye is
a surface-to-air heat-seeker.

You tellin' me this system
makes it programmable?

Surface to any target?

Listen, with that
new guidance system,

you tell it to take
out a building,

it'll ask you which floor

And what room.

Oh my god.

Why?

Many of these things in surplus?

Too many.

It's a real commodity
among the third world nations.

The people in the
arms black market

are ripping each other off

for their stockpiles.

There have been some rumors

of underworld hijackings.

Well, that actually
kind of makes sense.

With the professor's new
system, the value would triple.

Yeah.

Gives you some idea of why
they tried to snatch him up.

Exactly, and now
with Willis dead...

They could go after the student.

Yeah.

Mac, where are you going?

Well, I'm gonna find her.

That kid could be
in a lot of trouble.

She already is. The office
of defense intelligence

wants to put their hands on her

For breaking into
their computer system.

Oh, terrific.

And we all know what
wonderful people they are.

Mac, now, you're not
cooking around with some idea

about getting in
their way, are you?

Pete, I owe it to
professor Willis.

He wanted this girl
protected, and I'm gonna do it.

Now, wait a minute.

So, best of luck.

I'm a phone call
away if you need me...

I know all that, Pete. Thanks.

Stay out of trouble.

Keep expenses down.

Come back alive.

Took the words
right out of my mouth.

So, where
do we go from here?

Seems everybody in town knew

the professor was working
on that guidance system

with one of his students.

If we can find that student,
we may have our answer.

You got a name?

I'll do what needs doin'.

Nothing useful.

But I have another edge.

His name is MacGyver.

He's one of the
government's top bloodhounds.

I've seen this guy.

He was with the professor.

Good.

Find him...

And we may have the student.

I loved him, too.

This was my desk
here in the corner.

There's a heater back there.

I'm no dummy.

Yeah?

Yeah, for two years.

I spent some of the
best times of my life

right here in this classroom

with professor Willis.

Me, too.

I got a feeling I
was a little older

than you, though, Kate.

You are Kate, aren't you?

How do you know?

He mentioned you last night.

You were with him when...

Yeah.

You were waiting here
for me, weren't you?

I was hopin', yeah.

For what?

We got to talk, Kate.

About that project

you and the professor
were working on.

I got to go.

I'll give you a lift.

Why?

I like hanging out
with friendly people.

Let me get that for you.

You built these satellite map?

Yeah.

Telesat five?

Navsat, westar five?

You follow all the
communications satellites,

know their positions?

I do okay. So what?

Kate, why are you so
rude to Mr. MacGyver?

I think it has something to do

With defense mechanisms,
Mrs. Lafferty... hers.

Is all of this in
honor of something?

Oh, you bet it is.

In order for you to
help solve the problem

with the guidance
system, you had to break

into a top secret computer net

just chock full of
classified information.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong,

But in this country, I
think that's a no-no.

Is that true?

Take it easy, mom.

The man is overreacting.

What to they think
I'm going to do,

tell it to the Russians
or something?

Look, will you
just knock that chip

Off your shoulder for a second?

Just listen to me.

- The government's a little
embarrassed -

By your antics.

Office of defense
intelligence, ma'am.

Is your daughter at home?

What's this all about?

Who are you?

Name's MacGyver.

Are you a relative or something?

Something.

Come in.

They're legit. O.D.I.

Are you Kate Lafferty?

Now, just what do
you want with her?

We just want to have a little
chat with her, ma'am, downtown.

You guys got a charge?

No, not yet. We
just want to talk.

You push it, we'll
get a warrant.

Darling, I think you better go.

They-they just want
to ask a few questions.

No! I'm not going
to go anywhere!

Take it easy, Kate.

I think your mom's right.

You should go with 'em.

But don't worry,
we'll get you out.

When will she be back?

Well, that all depends
on her, ma'am.

It could be she'll
be out right away.

Then again, it might
be quite some time.

Let's go, Kate.

All right,
Kate, let's try it again.

Why don't we start with
how you gained access

To the snake-eye project?

Maybe we ought
to get me a lawyer

before we start
talking about anything.

Now, look, kid, this
is not an inquisition.

- You're not charged.
- Not yet.

All we want are a
few serious answers

to a few serious questions.

I have nothing to say.

Now, look... you want to
cooperate here and now,

or do you want to look at
some heavy conspiracy charges

And explain them to a judge?

Okay.

What do you want?

To start with, I want to know

How you broke through the
computer security system.

All right.

I'll show you.

Can I use your computer?

Be my guest.

Password?

It'll save time.

Lippencott.

"Data inventory..."

"Pershing, Phoenix, hawk..."

Hmm, "sidewinder...

Harpoon..." yeah. Snake-eye.

Okay, now I got to get
into the sub-program.

Aw, come on, Pete,

she broke security
to help professor Willis

help the United States
government solve a problem.

It's not like she was selling
the Pentagon to gorbachev.

I know, Mac, but
it's not exactly like

she stole an apple
off a pushcart, either.

All right, all right...
But I'm telling you,

Kate is not going
to tell them one thing

about the guidance system or
anything else, for that matter,

Until they stop treating
her like qaddafi's hit man.

Mac, you are probably
reading the girl right, but I...

Pete...

I'll make a deal with you.

I don't think
I like the sound of that,

But I'm listening.

I'll get both answers for us,

Providing you get
the o.D.I. Off her back.

How she accessed their computer

and what the fix on that
guidance system was.

Mac, I don't know

if I can keep my end of it.

Well, I'm not sure I
can swing my end,

But I'm willing to
give it my best shot.

How 'bout you?

Agreed.

All right, Pete.

We're in.

Great. Just like that.

I can't
believe it... we have got

To tighten security.

New access codes
for the whole program.

Thanks a lot, kid.

How long is this going to take?

It took me three weeks
the first time to break in.

Cool down.

Oh, terrific.

Are you getting anything yet?

Right now.

What's going on here?

I don't know.

This is crazy.
It's going berserk!

Hey!

- Come on.

What's all this?

Hey, that's the fire alarm!

I'm getting interference.

Call maintenance.

I'll get right on it.

What the
hell's going on here?

All right,
just take-take it easy.

The emergency generator'll
kick in in a second.

Stop worrying.

The missiles will be
delivered as promised.

The delivery is not
what concerns me.

Oh?

There's an ugly
rumor going around

That, uh, the missile's
guidance system doesn't work.

It doesn't... but it will.

That's not good
enough, Mr. Hatcher.

My people want a demonstration

Just to be sure.

There was nothing in our
deal about a demonstration.

No demonstration, no money.

What do you want us to hit?

I haven't decided yet,

But I'll think up something...

Imaginative.

Hey, what are you doing in here?

I could ask you the same thing.

I thought you were
being detained.

Well, they thought so, too.

They started threatening
all sorts of dumb things.

I think they thought I
was some kind of dodo.

So I left.

How'd you manage that?

I screwed up their
environmental control system.

Oh.

Why didn't you just
give 'em the answers?

'Cause...

They've got no right

to treat me like a criminal.

And because I want some
answers, too, about professor Willis.

I don't see anybody
doing anything

about trying to
find his murderers.

- It's being done.
- Yeah, by who?

Friends of mine.
They'll find the killers.

You're sure?

I guarantee it.

But in the meantime,
why don't you help them

fix this guidance system?

I mean, the answer
is in here, isn't it?

Sure... but you'll never get in.

That's what you're
trying to do, isn't it,

break in?

Yes.

You're trying to break in using

these passwords?

Too easy?

It's not my style.

What's your style?

That's your problem.

I'm sure you can solve it.

Is what your mom said true:

You don't have any friends?

Who needs 'em?

All they do is tease me
about being an egghead.

Kind of hurts, huh?

What do you know about it?

Look, I'm not pretty, and
the boys that do notice me...

They run like rabbits
when they find out

I'm smarter than they are.

So you just decided
to go it alone, is that it?

What is this, some
kind of shrink session?

All right, all right.

There is a password, right?

Sure.

But you're not even close.

You know, you're a very
pretty girl when you smile.

Give me a break, will you?

I'm not!

And you know it.
Everybody knows it. I know it.

I'm nowhere even close
to being pretty. I'm...

I'm...

That's mean.

Boy, you are not seeing
who you really are, Kate.

You're wrong!

I know who I am and what I am,

and you do, too. Look!

That's your password...

And I don't happen to
believe it for a second.

Well, it's the truth.

I'm ugly, and I'm weird,

and I don't even care if
anybody likes me or not!

You are not ugly.

And will you please stop
putting yourself down?

You are special, Kate.

And it's not so
bad to be special.

You just have to learn to
feel good about it, that's all.

Well, I don't, okay?

Here, make the copy.

The file name is "guidance",
with a pgm extension.

"Guidance".

Shh. Come on, Kate.

All right.

Let's go.

Whoops!

Storeroom, quick!

Pull this out and plug it in.

Sound oscillator?

Yeah, I'm gonna give
them a royal pain in the ear.

Here, protect your ears.

There!

Right!

MacGyver, stop! The plug!

Mac, stop! The plug!

Hold it!

Well, it was a good idea.

Turn around.

You know, you and I should talk.

What do you say we...

They
say sleep is relaxing.

Well, not all the Tim.

It's become apparent that
Kate and I think a lot alike.

And if that's the case, I gotta
believe she's left me a clue.

Duckling...

Boy, she's good.

Sar-sat, 243 megahertz.

Very good.

Yeah, faa?

This is MacGyver.

Uh, dxs. ID number x-c 4479.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, I got this little problem,

And I think your sar-sat
satellite can help me with it.

Yeah, right.

Signal's probably coming
from a portable radio

modified to a transceiver
on 243 megahertz.

Okay, I need you to scan
the western United States.

You will?

What can I say?

You guys are terrific.

I haven't got time to
play games, young lady.

I will find out about
the guidance system.

Sodium pentathol.

Your choice.

With or without.

Be sensible.

Tell Mr. Walker what to do.

One of the great things
about satellite navigation

is that they can pinpoint a
location down to 100 yards.

Problem is,
they still can't tell

who's liable to
be waiting there.

So where's
this baby gonna go?

Anyplace between
Canada and the Mexican border.

Get the missile in place.

You're gonna use it here,

in the United States?

Just a little test to make sure

everything works
the way it should.

When do I get to go?

After the test.

Lock her up!

Move it!

Come on! Get!

Couple hours and you'll be okay.

Kate!

MacGyver!

Don't touch that bar, it's hot!

Hey, nice job.

Real nice.

Sure, but I'm gonna get
fried trying to squeeze through.

All right, hang on.

Spray cans use hydrocarbons.

Ought to cool the bars down.

Stand back.

They were gonna
give me sodium pentathol

and they made me fix
the guidance system.

I had no choice.

That truck I saw leaving

had a tarp on it.

Was the missile under that?

Yes, only they don't
know the target yet.

The head honcho said he
would radio the coordinates

as soon as he got them.

So they're staying
in touch by radio, eh?

I guess.

This is all my fault, isn't it?

I mean, if I hadn't broken
into that stupid com...

- Hey...
- I never did anything like this before.

Believe me. I only did it
to help professor Willis.

Look, everybody makes
mistakes once in a while.

The trick is learning
to live with it.

Like we all do.

Even if you are special.

MacGyver?

Yeah?

You're the first real...

What?

Forget it.

Friend?

I guess.

I am honored.

Now you're making fun of me.

No way!

Friendship is something
I don't take lightly.

It's too hard to come by.

You mean it?

Yes, ma'am.

Why are we stopping?

The more time we take
the further away they get.

Yeah, but they are staying
in contact by radio, right?

Yeah.

Come on, Kate,
if you don't get it,

You're not as smart
as I think you are.

I'll get it, I'll get it.

Triangulation, right?

Good girl.

We can use the
radio in the Jeep.

And the one in your pocket.

And we can use the
coils from the speakers.

And the battery
from the Jeep for one.

Oh, no, the battery is dead.

I had it on the whole
time for sar-sat.

Oh...

All right...

We'll use the acid
from the cactus.

It's got electrolytes,
and we've got

Two different kinds
of wire from the Jeep.

So we have power for the radio!

And we'll use our
watches and the sun...

To get the direction.

- Is right!
- Great!

All for one...

And one for all!

I can't believe you said that.

The liquid in the cactus'll
give us a low-level current.

That ought to be all we need.

Eagle to nest, eagle to nest.

I'm in position. Over.

Nest to
eagle, stand by.

Be with you in a minute.

Everything's ready.

All we need are the
coordinates. Over.

These loops'll form
a directional antenna.

Excellent.

Our antennas will form
two points of the triangle.

The third point
is where they are.

That's right.

And if we're lucky,
we'll pick up their voices.

Not yet.

I'll read you the data.

We got 'em!

Yeah, but do we
have 'em in time?

Waiting for this to come in...

Sounds like they're
getting ready to fire.

- Give me a preliminary...
- Listen, point your watch

To the north, and
align the antenna with it.

So we can calibrate
directionally.

Yes, ma'am.

Prepare
launch sequence.

You compensated
with radian, eagle?

I'm compensated.

Circuitry check in progress.

Any anomalies?

Zero, zero.

They're coming in at 2:00.

- Mine's comin' in at 11:00.

And where they cross
is where the missile is.

Last check,
eagle. Stand by.

Well, I trust the baby is well?

She is.

She's been checked
and rechecked.

All we need now
are the coordinates.

Then she'll be off
like a hungry vulture.

Program the
guidance control to...

37 degrees, 47 minutes north,

122 degrees, 30 minutes west.

122 degrees, 30 minutes west.

Somewhere in the
south bay, isn't it?

Very good, Mr. Hatcher.

What's the specific target?

The Clinton narrows bridge.

I contacted the
buyers and told 'em

they'd be hearing
about the demonstration

around 1:30 this afternoon.

Traffic count is lowest then.

Have a good day.

Did you get that?

Got it.

Why's he want to take out
the Clinton narrows bridge?

It's part of
the marketing plan.

It'll get a lot of press.

Customers will see

that they've got a good product.

- Roger, nest.
- They're going to take out

The Clinton narrows bridge!

Proceeding with launch
sequence as instructed.

Eagle out.

Yeah, in 27 minutes.

Oh, my god.

What?

The south bay marathon's today.

There'll be thousands
of runners on that bridge.

How do you know that?

Because I've run it twice.

MacGyver, there's got to
be something we can do.

Yeah.

The question is what and how.

Larkin, come here.

If we could get our
hands on that shotgun...

Nah, it's a little too
wide open down there.

I've never had much
use for guns anyway.

Well, then what
are we going to do?

We're going
to assess the problem,

then come up with a solution.

That's usually how it's done.

Yes, if you have enough time...

And we've only got 12 minutes.

You know, maybe that
shotgun could be useful.

Harness a little of the
power from the sun,

heat it up a tad.

If we had a harness.

What do you think a Jeep's got?

Energy.

Yeah.

We can use the headlight
as a parabolic mirror.

And we got the
side view mirrors...

To beam it in.

We could use the
lens from the binoculars

to modify the
curvature of the reflector

To give it a little
more distance.

Yeah, but we
still have to get closer.

But we got a plan. Let's go.

Nest to eagle.

This is eagle.
Go ahead, nest.

I'm indicating six
minutes to launch.

You in sync?

We're all set. Ready to go.

I want the countdown on
the radio to confirm launch.

You got it.

We're going to use
the parabolic mirror

as a solar collector
and focus the sunlight

through the binocular
lens and position over it.

Concentrating it.

Yeah. Now, it comes off the sun

at about 6,000
degrees centigrade.

It'll still be plenty hot
by the time we bounce it.

Can you aim accurately
with a flat mirror?

I'll check it out.

It looks about right.

Just have to position

our collector now.

We're getting a beam!

The trick is to heat
up the ejector port...

Then the shell inside.

The gun oil's already smoking.

When that powder gets hot
enough, it's going to blow.

Exactly...

And hopefully take
the gas tank with it.

All right!

I can't believe this worked!

Come on, it worked!

Are they dead?

No, they're just
out for a while.

That was close.

Another two minutes, this
thing would've been airborne.

Nest to eagle.

Why haven't you
started countdown?

Eagle, do you copy? I
don't hear your countdown.

Nest to eagle, if you're having

trouble, I'll fly
the second bird.

Over.

Commencing countdown.

Larkin, is that you?

Continuing countdown from 20,

19, 18, 17...

You're not Larkin.

Nice try, whoever you are.

Elevate the missile.

Yes, sir.

Can he fire this thing
by remote control?

No, but he doesn't have to.

He's gonna fire
the other missile.

All right, settle down.
Don't give up yet.

Listen, how well do you
know that guidance system?

Well, to start
with, it overrides

The surface-to-air
configuration.

Uh, so without it, it
becomes a heat seeker?

Yes, exactly. That's the
way it was originally designed.

All we have to do is get it

within a half a mile
of the other target.

Right. I think we can vector
into that kind of window.

You can, and it will blow
'em both to smithereens!

Provided we fire it within
seconds of their launch.

Go to work.

Come on, Kate.

Gotta move!

If I could just
pop this chip out.

Five, four, three, two, one!

- Got it!
- Stand clear.

Come on, Kate.

MacGyver!

We did it!

Yeah. I'd say.

Me, too.

Les... listen, I'll be
right back, okay?

Go ahead.

Excuse me.

Hi.

I see some changes
have been made.

Yeah, sorta, I guess.

You look great.

Yeah? Thank you.

Listen, I wanted to tell you.

They busted hatcher
and his friends

- and the wacko that was behind the whole thing.
- Good.

Yeah. And the defense
department's gonna be clamoring

for your services right
around graduation time.

I got a feeling they're
gonna spring for your own lab.

Oh, that's pretty
all right, that's good.

So, why don't you introduce him?

He's shy, especially
around strangers.

But get him alone in a lab...

- Can he compute!
- Figures.

Thanks for everything.

You bet.

Well...

Will I see you again?

You can count on it.

I will.

Okay.

Whoo!

Come on, les. Let's dance.

All right!

Your dancing is great.

♪ ♪