MacGyver (1985–1992): Season 1, Episode 16 - Every Time She Smiles - full transcript

The first time I
got to ride on a merry-go-round,

I was about six or seven.

I'd never seen anything like it.

It was a kind of magic.

Go to a merry-go-round
anywhere in the world,

And you can see the
same look in the kids' eyes.

It's magic.

It's a shame we
have to grow up...

And lose it.

And I learned something
up in the Swiss alps.

I just shouldn't go skiing
without a parachute.



Kind of busted up my vacation...

And my hand.

So, when I got
offered a free trip

to beautiful
Bulgaria, I grabbed it.

All I had to do
was a little errand.

No sweat.

You should try the
Gregory mykel endgame.

Do you know it?

I used to know him.

Knight to king's bishop three.

Protect your queen's right.

It is most important.

Usually is.

Think I'll just mail
this postcard home.



Make a nice souvenir
from my vacation.

We have risked our
lives for what you have.

Checkmate.

Guess you got me.

Thanks for the game.

Tell Dr. Mykel my move
is bishop to knight five.

I'll do that.

I've learned a lot.

American?

Yeah.

Oh, you don't
know how good it is

to see someone from back home.

They're all foreigners here.

Foreigners?

Sure. Just look around.

I haven't spoken to an
American in over a month.

You know, I thought it was
going to be a trip staying here,

but believe me, it's not,

especially since I don't
speak the language.

I'm penny Parker.

You can remember
that 'cause it's got

the same letter at
the front of each name.

That's important
theatrically, you know.

Oh, yeah?

Sure. Just think of it...

Farah fawcett, Tina
Turner, Marilyn Monroe...

Penny Parker.

Yeah! You catch on quick.

MacGyver.

Did you break your hand?

Does it hurt? Oh, it must.

I've never broken anything.

It's getting better.

Well, that's good. Pleased
to meet you, MacGyver.

Penny Parker's not
my real name, of course.

I had it changed when
I started modeling.

Really hasn't hurt my
dancing career, either.

That's originally why

I came over here...
To dance, I mean.

You here on business?

My troupe left last
month, but I just couldn't.

I met this man. He was unreal.

I mean, just to look
at this man was to die.

I had to stay.

Oh, it was awesome

for the first couple weeks,
but then it got kind of...

Difficult?

Yeah. I mean, he was like
my mother or something.

I couldn't go anywhere

or do anything
without him along.

I mean, I like a
strong man. I really do.

So, anyway, we had this talk.

Well, actually, it was
more of a disagreement.

Well, really, it
was kind of a fight,

and I went blasting
off, and so...

So it's over.

I guess.

You know, you're very sensitive

to pick that right up.

Uh-oh.

What?

You all right?

Sure. Um, just hold
my place in line.

You didn't even say good-bye.

Good-bye.

Would you give us some room?

How can I make you reconsider?

I'm sorry. You can't.

Penny,

I love you to distraction.

Oh, really.

And just yesterday morning,
you were ready to kill me

Just because I smiled
at that nice young officer.

Penny, when you smile at a man,

it is already the
beginning of the end.

For the man, I mean.

Well, I'm certainly not
going to give up smiling

just so you won't get upset.

Very well.

I can't hold you
against your will,

but if you insist on going,

I must ask you to give me back

the things I gave you.

You mean the jewelry?

Shh, penny, not so loud.

Well, you gave them to me.

Well, on a temporary basis,

and certainly not
as a farewell gift.

Penny, I must have them back.

That isn't fair.

Where did you put them?

Get him!

Wait!

I know you're not
going to believe this,

but I haven't the slightest idea

where those came from.

You're right. I
don't believe you.

Wait a minute. Why not?

It's the truth.

Get him!

What are you doing here?!

This is for women!

Glad you guys showed up.

Handcuff them together
and bring their things.

Ciao!

I'm sorry.

Mm-hmm.

Are you mad at me?

Why would I be mad at you?

Well, you missed your plane.

Right.

And they took your luggage.

- Yeah.
- And they think you stole the jewels.

Yeah, that's right.

And they have your passport.

I almost forgot that one.

Well, see, then you
should be mad at me.

All right, I'm mad at you.

You really didn't
have to tell me that.

You're right. I'm sorry.

I had to put the
jewelry in your pocket.

I had no choice.

Well, he gave it to me,

and I was just taking it along,

and besides, it's not
worth all that much.

How do you know that?

Well, because a guy
with some government job

who's got a shoe
box for an apartment

wouldn't give me real jewelry

Unless it wasn't real, right?

If that's true, why
is still holding us

Now that he has it back?

Penny Parker, you're
holding something back.

It was just one ring.

How much could it be worth?

If he'd asked me nicely,

I would've given it back to him,

but he had to go and
show up at the airport

with all those policemen
and make me look

- like some kind of criminal or something.
- Hold it. Wait a minute.

Fine. Why my pocket?

Well, you were the
closest one around.

All right.

Why... why hide it?

Oh, I knew he'd try
to take them from me.

He always does when
he gets mad at me.

What are you looking for?

I'm looking for a
way out of here.

Well, why? You
didn't do anything.

They'll probably
let you go soon.

Oh, maybe, but I can't
afford to take that chance.

Besides, they've got
something of mine.

I want it back.

So, we're both in the same fix.

Grab that chair.

Well, why don't
I get two chairs,

and then we can both sit?

It's not for sitting.

Never mind the chair.

Excuse me.

Hey, that's good. Cheap walls.

We'll just poke our
way right out of here.

It's a baggage conveyor belt.

But there's no way I can just
poke through this chicken wire.

Damn!

It was a nice thought, though.

All right, bend these out.

We're going to make
'em into a figure-eight.

Well, what are you going
to do with a figure eight?

You ever been to a rodeo?

Sort of.

I was queen of the
future farmers once...

Later, later.

All right. Good.

Now I know why
you asked about the rodeo.

You're going to lasso
the conveyor belt.

I sure am going to try.

Let's go.

What are you doing?

I've got to have my purse.

It's just like the
ride at Disneyland.

Will you keep your head down?

Economy class.

Well, that was fun.

Now what?

Good question.

Darned good question.

Taxi!

Correct. I want both
their descriptions sent

to all border posts and
police patrols immediately.

They have escaped custody

and are to be considered
enemies of the state.

Ah, stepan.

At ease.

Well, uh, if it's
about the girl, uncle,

I can explain.

Oh, yes, that's,
uh, penny Parker,

the night club dancer.

What is a little
interesting to me

is why, after all the
women you have known,

You were trying to prevent
this one from going home.

Well, she's a very
special woman, uncle,

and I gave her some
of mother's jewelry,

just to wear.

You did what?

I gave her some of
mother's jewelry, just to wear.

Mother said you gave it to her

And that it was just
paste, so I figured...

That paste is
worth 700,000 leva!

What?

The jewels you loaned out
to this bubble-headed girl

are part of the crown jewels of
the German house of Hanover.

Well, how did you get them?

It is unimportant

how I got them.

Who has them now?

I do. All but a ring,
but I'll get it back, uncle.

I promise.

You had better.

They are part of our security

which is already in jeopardy.

Our security?

I am confused, uncle.

I will try to unconfuse you.

Some documents were
stolen from this office

And then returned.

We must assume the underground

has them copied on microfilm.

The documents reveal the numbers

of the Swiss bank accounts

of some of us in
this department.

This job pays almost nothing

and demands our blood.

Just to live, it is necessary

to skim a little here and there.

And the jewelry is
part of the skimming.

A small part, yes.

A small part?

700,000 leva!

I can see where that
could be embarrassing.

It could be fatal...
For both of us.

But I have done nothing.

I'm innocent.

Perhaps...

But unfortunately,
your name appears

on one of those
Swiss bank accounts...

Number 1-7-7-9, to be precise.

They'll send us to Siberia.

Not if we recover the microfilm

which is the only
evidence against us.

You have been monitoring
the underground, have you not?

Yes. We identified

a man named burak.

He may be a contact man.

He spends his days
playing chess in the park.

I let him run, hoping
he'd lead us to the others.

Pull him in.

Persuade him to tell
us what he knows.

What if he won't talk?

He must talk, stepan.

If he does not, you
can forget about Siberia.

It's going to be a
cigarette and a blindfold

in the courtyard downstairs.

He must be made to talk.

You don't mean torture?

I mean whatever is necessary.

You know, I never
could learn to play chess.

Psst!

Come.

You are supposed to
be out of the country.

What happened? Oh, who is she?

She's a very close friend.

Hi, I'm penny...

The militia are hunting you.

Yeah, could I borrow
one of your earrings?

Sure.

- Now-now, we...
- Hey!

I'll get you another one.

Where is the microfilm?

Safe.

And where is safe?

It's with a friend of hers.

Fortunately, he doesn't
know what he has.

This friend... Does
he have a name?

Stepan. Stepan frolov.

Major stepan
frolov, state security?

Nephew of general petrovich?

Yeah, that's him.

You said some guy
with a government job.

Figures.

Can I keep these for a souvenir?

Why does frolov want her?

He gave her some
kind of jewelry,

and now he wants it back.

This jewelry...
Can I see it please?

Frolov will do anything
to get this back.

Oh, come on, it can't
be worth that much.

It's worth a fortune.

It is part of the treasure

That his uncle
looted from the state.

How do you know that?

It was evidence in
the documents we got

from his office safe.

You mean stepan gave
me jewelry his uncle stole?

And uncle wants it
kept secret, right?

That and many other secrets.

It is all on the microfilm we
placed in your hands today.

Holy cow!

Can you hide her
till I get it back?

You are a spy!

Just a couple of
hours. That's all I need.

I do know a place. Follow me.

Are you really a spy?

I'm just doing a
favor for a friend.

Now, follow me, but stay behind.

There they are!

Go! Go!

Get them!

Stop them!

There, on the carousel!

It's hopeless. They've got us.

Not yet, they don't.

To get the brass ring,

they've got to get on
the merry-go-round.

Halt!

Why aren't we hiding?

We are.

Oh, you mean like
nobody would think

Of looking for us
right here in the open?

That's the idea.

Oh. Okay, that's it...
Stepan's apartment.

He only has three rooms.

I dated a regional
supervisor once.

You could've put
stepan's whole apartment

in his living room,

but it was really too big.

Stepan's is kind
of, you know, cozy.

He had all these great records.

Wait a minute.
What about security?

Oh. Well, only government
officials live there.

I've seen two or three
militiamen walking around.

Oh, and there's a
guardhouse on the corner.

Wonderful.

All right.

I want you to stay here
until I come back, okay?

Well, why his apartment?

I mean, maybe our
stuff's at his office.

Penny, think about it.

Those jewels could
put him into a work farm

for the rest of his life.

Now, I'm not sure,
but chances are

he'd want to keep them
away from headquarters.

At least that's what
I'm counting on.

Wow. I bet old general
petrovich is petrified.

Yeah.

Um, MacGyver...

You are coming back
for me, aren't you?

I mean, you're not just going

to get your stuff
and bug out on me?

No, I wouldn't do that.

I didn't really think you would.

I just have this habit
of trusting people.

Well, sometimes, I
think it's a mistake.

Penny... you say what you
think and you do what you say.

That's not such a
bad policy in my book.

Maybe.

Sometimes, you can get hurt.

Well, no one became a great
woman living in a vacuum.

Am I a great woman?

You got all the makings.

That's the nicest thing
anybody ever said to me.

Well, you're the nicest
person I've ever said it to.

That's for good luck.

We need all the luck we can get.

You are wasting my time
with this stupid attitude of yours.

I want answers.

Your name is Anton burak.
A widower, no children.

But you do have a sister, marta,

With a husband
and three children.

They are safe in a place where
even you cannot find them.

So, do what you will.

I will tell you nothing.

They are living in the mountains

At the home of a
Shepherd named patinoff.

This is a picture
of your sister,

and, of course, the children.

These were taken yesterday.

The nine-year-old,

he looks like he is a
good soccer player.

Maybe not with broken legs.

And here...

Stop.

The man came to
me with the password.

Then he came back with the girl.

Name? Description?

American.

Very pretty.

He called her "penny."

I, I don't know her family name.

I... I don't know
the man's name.

It is not important, Mr. Burak,

Because I think my nephew does.

Is that right, major?

His name is MacGyver.

So, she has been
using you, stepan.

She must be an American agent.

I cannot believe this.

The microfilm must be among
the things you took from her.

Where are they?

In my apartment.

Well, get it! Now!

And, stepan,

if you should happen to run

into this MacGyver again...

Shoot him.

Yes, uncle.

Bouncin' around
Bulgaria with penny Parker

reminded me of playin' dominoes.

With every move,
something else might fall.

But the thing is it
all started so simply.

In for the chess game,
out with the information.

And now here I
am scaling the wall

of a heavily guarded
government building,

and breaking into the apartment

Of a major in the secret police.

Simple, right?

I'll tell ya what's simple: Me.

For gettin' into that first
conversation with penny Parker.

But what else could I do?

I mean, a guy
just can't be rude.

I mean, how was I to
know... How was I to know?

My postcard.

I think my luck's
starting to change.

MacGyver?

Hey, are you in there?
It's okay. It's me, penny.

Let me in.

What are you doing here?

Well, I'm sorry,
but the place kept...

Shh!

Filling up with the soldiers,

and they were comin' over to
my table and buyin' me drinks.

So I came here.

How did you get
out of the place?

Well, I went to the ladies' room

and climbed out the window.

Of course you did.

Why do I ask those questions?

Well, I figured I'd
better come over here

or how else would you find me?

And you know what else?

Right next to the place
was this cute little shop

that had the cutest
little dress in the window.

Wait a minute!

Shh.

How'd you get into the building?

Well, I came in the
front door downstairs.

The doorman knows me.

Oh, and you had to sneak in

so nobody would
know you were here.

And now I've...

It's okay. It's all right.

Wow!

Well, did you find what
you were looking for?

Yes, I found what
I'm looking for.

Everything but the passports.

Now let's get out of here
before your friend comes home.

Oh, he never gets
home till real late.

Good.

Usually.

Right.

Come on.

I was hoping we
wouldn't find you.

I could be shot for
even thinking this.

And I could
be shot for just being here.

So, it's time to start
finding a way out.

Now... shall we talk
about your American friend

And the whereabouts of my ring?

Yeah. It wasn't
even yours. Stolen.

Involved in a whole
bunch of really illegal stuff!

Oh, penny, how did we
get ourselves into all this?

My sentiments exactly.

Kitchen chemistry has got
to be the way to go here.

See? There you go again.
You and all your...

My recipe
calls for a deep cooking pot,

a dash of pest control,

four measured
cups of soap flakes,

All garnished with tile
cleaner and left to steep.

If you don't watch out,

You're gonna be
just like your uncle.

My uncle was smart enough

to figure out that
you are a spy.

I mean, it was all
perfectly simple.

Well, suddenly
spying and stealing

and jewelry and, uh...

I wasn't spying.

What do you call it?

Now what I need
is a time delay fuse.

A healthy ladle of
lard will do for starters.

Covered with a single
layer of newspaper.

Sprinkled with crystal
of oven cleaner.

And all left to marinate

Under a soft flow
of natural gas.

So I do want the ring back

and I also want your
accomplice, Mr. MacGyver.

He's not my accomplice.

There's no use to lie, penny.

I know about him. You used me.

The two of you were
working together as spies.

I'm not a spy!

We met for the first
time at the airport.

I was just standing in line.

If that is true, he has
nothing to fear from us

And neither do you.

You can speak out
freely. Where is he?

Right here.

Mr. MacGyver, I commend you.

May I take this as a surrender?

Uh... not just yet.

Look outside the window.

Give up?

Sort of.

The building is surrounded.

Well, I certainly would hope so,

Or you wouldn't
be doin' your job.

Then you must also know
that there is no escape for you.

It's over.

The information that
was passed on to you...

I take that now, please.

No, I don't think so.

I'm not a man who likes
violence, Mr. MacGyver.

That's great. Neither do I.

Move away, penny.

What are you gonna do?

Well, the cliché thing
to be done here is

For him to blow my kneecaps off.

If necessary.

Are you both crazy?

Come on, frolov, let her go.

She told you the truth.

And capturing me,
an enemy of the state,

oughta be enough, right?

What have you done?

Burnt the roast!

Oh!

Sorry.

Penny, grab a bathrobe.

We'll mingle with the tenants.

A bathrobe.

I thought I said a bathrobe.

This is the nicest one I have.

There's stepan's car.

I'm gonna have to hot-wire it.

Maybe not.

It was on the dresser.

Amazing!

They will certainly
try to make it

to the Greek border.

I have alerted our
border stations.

They have a full
description of both fugitives.

And your car, sir.

Good, but not good enough.

Now, with the
gasoline they have,

They should run out
somewhere in that area.

Now, I want men stationed

out of sight at every
gasoline station

In that circle.

Then, I want our people
to search every farm tract

from here to here,

Especially the turnoffs
to the main highway.

Understood?

Yes, sir.

There is no way they
can get through now, sir.

There is always a way.

We just have to make certain

they won't find it.

You know, it's so
beautiful up here.

So peaceful.

Yeah, just like in
a storybook, right?

You know, I really like you.

You understand me.

We're on the same wavelength.

Well, that worries me.

It also worries me

that we're running
on an empty gas tank.

Well, why don't we
just get some more?

Oh, sure, sure.

We can just drive right
on into a gas station

in the middle of the night

and ask 'em to
fill up a kgb car.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, I know where
we might get some.

I'm all ears.

Car two, have you
reached the western sector yet?

We are almost
at the checkpoint, sir.

Good. Make sure
you have enough men.

I don't want them
to slip through.

I'm heading east.

I have an idea I
want to check out.

Penny...

There's no gas can in there.

Well, gee, that's where
it was the last time.

Nice duds.

It's all I could find.

Uh, miss Parker,

whose place is this, anyway?

Stepan's uncle.

Stepan used to bring
me here on weekends.

We'd ride motorcycles
in the hills, and...

Wait a minute!

I remember now!

About the gas.

The can was almost empty,

so stepan took
it down to get it...

refilled.

I'm sorry.

No problem, no problem.

Everyone forgets something

Once in a while.

You're sweet, but I...

Wait a minute!

There's that machine, uh,
that they used to plow with.

A tractor?

Yeah!

They keep it in the shed
on the other side of the hill.

Don't tractors run on gas?

They've been known to.

Uh, penny, penny,
penny, penny, penny,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Look, you're terrific.

I mean, you're really great.

But I'll go, all right?

But, MacGyver!

No, no, no, no, I insist.

It's my duty as...

Oh, swell!

You're not gonna
shoot us, are you?

Shoot you? Why?

For stealing my car?
Destroying my career?

Collaborating with a spy?
Stealing state secrets?

Oh, come on, stepan!

You and I both know this has
nothing to do with state secrets.

We will not discuss the nature

of the things missing.

The main thing
is, I've found you.

Yeah, by the way,
how did you find us?

I estimated how far the
gas in my car would take you.

And this place was within range.

I took a chance that
penny would remember it.

I did.

Stepan, we had a nice time.

And I don't think very much

Of the way you're
using it against me!

For the first time in my life,

I am thinking like
a professional.

By what, defending
corruption in your government?

Nice.

I have no choice.

I don't think that's quite true.

It's a matter of
conscience, Steve.

You do have one
of those, don't you?

I thought he did. Once.

And here's the ring
you wanted so badly!

And whatever you
think, I'm not a spy.

I wouldn't even
know how to do it.

Penny!

Believe me, all I ever wanted
was to keep you with me.

Well, then why don't
you let her go, Steve?

In fact, why don't
you let us both go?

Are you crazy?

It's been rumored.

I must ask you to
give me the microfilm.

I would do as he asks.

You have done well, stepan.

Much better than I had thought.

Now finish the job.

Sir?

Kill them.

What?

But why?

Because I am compromised
as long as they live.

You know, stepan,

I think you're a part
of that compromise.

No good, Mr. MacGyver.

Stepan has only to gain
by my favor and my position.

He poses no threat to me.

But, penny, she's done nothing.

I believe that now.

It is not what she has done,

it is what she knows, stepan.

Success always has its price.

I want no witnesses, uncle.

Where are your men?

Good.

Already beginning to
think like a bureaucrat.

They're at the crossroads.

They have orders to wait
there for ten minutes, then come.

At which time, we will tell them

it was necessary
to shoot these spies,

who tried to escape.

Smart. That's real smart.

Yes, he is.

He's always been real smart.

Stepan!

Nice shot, Steve!

Oh, stepan,

You're wonderful!

Uh, kids,

hate to break this up,

but we do still have to
get past the general's men.

Let's take the general's car.

All right.

I grew up not far from here.

There is a small road that
leads around the main highway.

They'll never see us.

You're really coming with us?

Actually I can even pay our way.

I have Swiss bank
account number 1-7-7-9.

Let's hope you
live long enough to spend it.

They escaped in my
car. Did you see that?

They can only be heading
for the border. Quickly!

We've got company.

You think this thing can
outrun that command car?

I don't think so.

I was afraid of that.

Penny... I want you
to take this wheel.

Drop it in behind
that truck up there.

You ready?

Wow! It's like a real
spy thing, isn't it?

What're you gonna do?

Just get as close to
that truck as you can.

All right!

Gosh, this is just
like the movies!

Now, the only way I saw to
keep us ahead of this game

was to work up some
kind of highway hazard.

That's where the hose comes I.

You see, diesel exhaust

is loaded with hydrocarbons.

Now, if you mix
hydrocarbons with water,

you get what scientists
call immiscible liquid.

Immiscible... that means
water and oil don't mix.

Go faster!

All right, come on!

We're coming, MacGyver!

Now, this hydrocarbon and
water thing I've explained

is a fact, but
in order to get it

to work right, I needed
enough diesel oil

floating on top of
enough water to penetrate.

'Course, one never
knows unless one tries.

Just look at us, will ya?

Aren't we something?

You did great!

I can't believe I did it!

Okay, under this fence,
we should be in Greece.

All right, let's go.

Howdy.

Do you wish to enter Greece?

I was kind of hoping
we were already there.

Passports, please.

You know, somehow I knew
you were gonna ask that.

Constantine!

Is it you?

Penny...

Penny Parker?

- Hi!

Penny Parker!

Every time she smiles.

We should've known.