MacGyver (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 8 - Packing Peanuts + Fire - full transcript

It's locked.

What now? Over here, come on.

Look, he's after me,
not you. But, Bozer...

You'll be safer if we
split up. Go get help.

I'm not splitting
up. You need to go.

Bozer. Listen
to me, just listen.

If we don't split up,
we're both gonna die.

(footsteps approaching)

♪ ♪

This is it.

You can do this.



Steady hands.

Clear eyes.

Full of heart.

Can't nobody... Bozer.

Oh! Ah.

Bozer, when I text you,

telling you to come
and see me immediately,

I expect that since
I'm your boss,

that you will come and
see me immediately.

Sorry, Matty. My
phone was on silent.

I was just, uh,

training the robot's
machine learning software.

I was about to win.

ROBOT: On the contrary,



I was two turns away
from successfully

sinking your battleship for
the 137th consecutive time.

No, this time I was
about to... Bozer.

Huh? Focus.

Sorry, Matty.

I'm sending you to a top
secret Clandestine Services

training facility for
additional instruction.

What? She said...

Can it, Tin Man. (powers down)

Am I being punished for
something? New recruit training

is something that everyone at
the Phoenix has to complete,

including lab technicians who
apparently suck at Battleship.

But why would I need to...
You know what? Never mind.

You want to stay locked in
the basement like a mushroom,

talking to an
oversized can opener

for the rest of your life, fine.

I won't let you down, Matty.

You won't have a job if you do.

♪ ♪

GIRL: Go, go!

(child laughing)

MAN: Hey, kiddo.

Hi, Elwood.

Guess I got to work my
way back to Dad, huh?

Let's see how it goes.

A lot warmer than
I expected, huh?

You know? This,
uh, this time of year.

Is it?

Knock, knock.

Seriously?

This is a good one.

Come on.

Who's there?

Cash.

Cash who?

No, thanks. I'll
have some peanuts.

Funny.

Come on.

You always used to
laugh at those jokes.

When I was eight.

You're never too old for
a good knock-knock joke.

I'm not interested in
talking about the weather

or hearing a lame
joke, all right?

Let's just cut to the chase.

What chase?

What, uh...

what do you think
I'm here for, Riley?

The usual. You want to tell me

you've been working on yourself,

that, that you've
seen the light,

that you realize

what a jackass you've
been my entire life,

and now you want
to make things right.

And this time,

this time will be different
than the last time you did this.

And the time before that.

How am I doing so far?

(stammers) I really hope
you didn't come all this way

just to give me a speech

about how worthless
a father you've been.

Trust me, Elwood,
that's old news.

I'm trying to make amends.

It's this program.

Has steps.

That's good, I guess.

So, if you've got any chances
left to give me, you know...

show you that I'm here to stay.

But only if you want me to stay.

CAGE: That software's
deeply flawed.

It's easily fooled when the
subject's an experienced liar.

Maybe I should crack
open the source code

and make some
tweaks. You could, yeah,

but nothing beats the human eye.

Who's the subject?

No one important.

Just some footage I
found in the Phoenix library.

I'm using it to give the
software a little test drive.

You do realize the irony

of trying to lie to
me right now, yeah?

It was worth a shot.

CAGE: So, this is family,

most likely your father.

Can you just help me
figure out if he's lying?

Of course.

Look, words are just words
and mine can't be trusted.

I know this, but...

if you can find it in your heart
to give me another chance...

CAGE: Okay, all I can see here

is a father trying to
get his daughter back.

And for the record,
from what I can see,

he's telling the truth.

Cage.

Don't tell Jack.

Yeah.

JACK: What would you pick?

I don't know.

I guess I would just
stick with my knife.

Oh, dude.

Come on, man.

It's a zombie apocalypse.

That little knife ain't
gonna do nothing.

Come on, now. You
can pick anything.

One thing. What is it?

Yeah, this thing's got me

through a lot of
rough situations.

I'd rather just stick
with what I know.

All right, fine. What would
you choose, then? Light saber.

You have to be clear
about the boundaries...

What? Aladdin's
lamp... CAGE: Hey.

Where's Riley?

No clue.

Thought you said you
were going to get her.

I was. Couldn't find her.

Why are you lying?

I'm not lying.

Fact that you say
you're not lying

is what makes me
think you're lying.

That logic makes no
sense if I'm telling the truth.

Don't Jedi mind trick me.

You just admitted
you're lying, right?

What's Cage lying about?

Uh, where Riley is or something.

I don't know. I'm kind
of confused at this point.

Sorry I'm late.

Hey.

Hey, Jack.

Guys.

If I can have your attention.

Meet Enzo Lemaire.

MacGYVER: Another guy
who doesn't like cameras.

Lemaire is a black
market art dealer

who traffics in stolen art,

but the big issue is what
he does with the profits.

He funnels them to a
group on the terror watch list.

Good-looking and he
creatively finances terrorism.

He sounds like a real catch.

The alphabet agencies have
been chasing this guy for years

with nothing to show for it.

Lemaire is paranoid and careful.

And he does all of his business
through one man, the Pawn.

And who is this Mr. The Pawn?

Is that like his agent or
his manager or something?

No, more like his authenticator.

The Pawn verifies each
piece of art and then selects

what he sends to Lemaire.
Because of this buffer,

Lemaire has been able to
stay hidden for years until now.

We recently obtained
two pieces of intel.

One: a way to contact
the Pawn directly

and two: a way to bait
Lemaire from stepping

out of the shadows.

Turns out Lemaire
has a wish list

of items that he would like
for his personal collection.

We believe that if we
approach the Pawn

with one of these items...

Then this Lemaire dude
will just magically appear.

Very good, Jack. Yes.

And we know where
one of these items is.

Oh, it's The Tower
of Blue Horses.

It's an important piece

in the German
Expressionist movement.

Seriously? What's important
about it? Looks like some guy

just painted a
bunch of horses blue.

Except that "some
guy" is Franz Marc.

Never heard of him.

MATTY: Shocking, Jack.

This painting was recently
found in a basement in Germany

and purchased at
auction for $25 million

by billionaire Todor Janssens.

The painting is now locked
away in his private gallery

at his Belgian estate.

So, since you're
telling us this,

I guess Todor
turned you down cold

when you asked if we
could borrow his Franz Marc?

Correct, and he
also refused to sell it,

which is actually good for us.

The art world is small.

If we showed up out of the blue

with an original Franz Marc,

Lemaire would
definitely be suspicious.

Okay, so if borrow
and beg are out,

guess that leaves
us with one option.

Steal. You going for
the gold star today?

Mac and Jack will
pose as art thieves,

nick the Franz Marc,

and deliver it to the Pawn.

Then we will dry out Lemaire
and finally put him away.

Yeah, Operation Artsy-Fartsy.

I like it. Let's bounce.

WOMAN: Ladies and gentlemen,

I'm your Clandestine
Services training officer,

Cassandra Glover.

Over the next three weeks,

you will all grow to hate me.

And I want you to
understand right now

how deeply I do not care.

I'm not here to be your friend.

I'm not here to be your mommy.

I am here to sharpen
you into a tool

the U.S. government can use.

And everything I do
that makes you hate me

may one day save your life, so
when I tell you to do something,

you do it.

Now, look to your right.

Look to your left.

Your other left.

Now look at me.

By the end of this
course, one or both

of the people next to
you will no longer be here.

They'll wash out,
and they'll never work

for a government agency again.

You will train harder
than you ever have before.

It will not be easy,
it will not be fun.

(amplified machine gunfire)

You tripped over
the tripwire, genius.

You're dead. Again.

♪ 20% skill ♪

♪ 15% concentrated
power of will ♪

♪ Five percent
pleasure, 50% pain ♪

♪ And a hundred percent
reason to remember the name... ♪

GLOVER: While here
you will all live off-campus

under a cover identity.

Anywhere outside this facility,

you are to maintain
this cover always.

No one knows what we do here,

which means, if you screw up,

you will not call 911.

The police cannot help you.

(amplified machine gunfire)

Only I can help you.

You will complete
all assigned work

by the due date.

If you fall behind,

you will be sent packing
with a note to your superiors

detailing all the ways
in which you failed.

My advice...

♪ 15% concentrated
power of will... ♪

♪ Hey... ♪

Do... not... fail.

RILEY (over comm):
Okay, Team America,

just 15 more feet and you're
past the motion sensors.

JACK: Well, this
doesn't feel stupid at all.

MacGYVER: It's
not stupid if it works.

JACK: Well, just 'cause it
works doesn't mean I got to like it.

MacGYVER: The combination
of a large surface area

and slow movement

fools the sensors into
thinking that everything's fine.

JACK: I feel like I'm in the
world's worst ghost costume.

(Jack making ghostly moans)
MacGYVER: Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Okay, guys, just
through that door.

Jack, hold up
your motion blocker

to hide Mac's movement
from the sensor.

JACK: They're
tablecloths, Nancy Drew.

Stop trying to make
this sound cool.

You're sure whoever's
in the control room

can't see them?

I looped all the camera
feeds in the west wing.

As far as the guards
are concerned,

they're looking at a
bunch of empty hallways.

MacGYVER: Okay, we're in.

Hello, horses.

RILEY (over comm): Careful.

Our Belgian
billionaire's alarmed

every piece of artwork in there.

If you don't absolutely have
to touch something, don't!

Jack, don't touch that.

I know how to get past this.

Um, I need your shoelaces
and, uh, and the boot.

"Jack, give me your new boot,
Jack, give me your cell phone."

You know, a "please"
would be nice.

Not like you were raised

by a pack of
wolves or something.

You have zero respect
for my stuff, dude.

Oh, wait, wait, I see what
you're doing, Dr. Jones.

Yeah, I'm with you. Let's do it.

That's it? Yeah.

Man, stealing
modern art is easy.

And, you know, I really think

I'm starting to understand it.

There's more to it than
just hanging a boot on a wall.

Is there really?

Don't play around with it.

Get out your little
red wonder knife,

cut it out of there.

You don't cut an
original Franz Marc.

Why not? Because
it's a Franz Marc.

Oh, so what?

I don't know what color
horses are in Franz's world,

but in Texas, they
damn sure ain't...

(alarm blaring)

What did you just do?

Nothing, I just
sat in this chair.

It's not a chair, it's art.

It's a chair.

It's-It's art. Get out of it.

Fine.

RILEY: Guys, you've got a bunch
of armed guards headed your way.

Since when is a chair art?

Since it was made
in the 18th century.

Oh, so if something's old,
it's just automatically art?

Yes.

I'm a millionaire
two times over.

I got two La-Z-Boys
at the house.

JACK: It probably
makes a better doorstop.

(grunts)

(alarm continues blaring)

(attacking door,
shouting in French)

Hurry up, man. Let's go.

You got it? You got it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who puts an alarm on a chair?

You know, if the
tables were turned,

and you were a little
bit more near my age,

you would have
sat in that chair.

You know, to rest.

Not an original Louis XV.

Since when are you
the chair art expert?

I remember when
you had an old toilet

in your dining room...
You remember that?

It was an antique prototype,
made by Thomas Crapper.

(snickers) I know.
Crapper was a real guy.

Who just happened
to make crappers?

Guys, you're gonna make me
throw up, just get out of there.

So gross.

Okay, take a left at
the end of this hall.

Yeah, take a left's not
really an option there, kiddo.

Right takes you
to the east wing.

I didn't prep those cameras.

Security will be
able to see you.

We have no choice, Riles.

You're just gonna
have to cut the cameras.

Cutting cameras
means cutting comms.

You'll be working in the dark.

I do my best work in the dark.

Gross.

Cutting cameras now. Be quick.

You think Riley's been
acting weird lately?

You want to talk about this now?

She was acting
weird at the briefing,

weird on the plane, weird on
the van ride all the way over here.

Jack, we should stay
focused on the armed guards

trying to kill us, and, uh,
later we can worry about

whether or not
Riley's acting weird.

You know, after we escape.

Hmm. So you're
saying everything's cool?

Ow.

(panting)

You've got some
serious speed there.

I ran a lot in high school.

Track? Mascot.

You learn to run pretty fast
when the swim team spots you

doing the Macarena
in a badger suit.

How about you? Let me guess.

You ran track all through
school, probably won State.

Twice.

Race me to the next
checkpoint, Mr. Badger?

All right.

♪ ♪

(phone chimes)

(camera clicking)

(dog barking)

(alarm blaring) JACK:
Hey, Mac, I don't mean...

Jack, get the door. Use
a chair, just don't sit in it.

Oh, very funny.

Okay, guys, any time now.

You got to get out of there.

Yeah, that's what
we're trying to do.

Oh, yeah.

(guard shouting
indistinctly in distance)

I-I don't mean to...

I don't... I don't mean to beat a
dead tower of blue horses here

or anything, but I
know Riley, man,

and I know when something's
really wrong with her.

You got to help me out here.

Huh? You got to
help me out. Come on.

Okay, it's not the t... (sighs)

You could be right.

But whatever it is, if
Riley hasn't brought it up...

maybe she doesn't
want you to know.

Why wouldn't she
want me to know?

Let me put it this way.
(guards shouting nearby)

You are... the closest
thing she has to a dad.

And there are just some
things you don't tell your dad.

I tell my dad everything.

Tijuana? Except Tijuana.

The point is, Riley
knows where to find you,

and she ain't exactly shy.

So, if she wants your help,

you'll know. (banging on door)

You had to sit in
the chair, didn't you?

JACK: Hey, man. (grunting)

RILEY: Guys, if you hear me,

I've got three more headed
right for you. Uh, Mac, I don't think

that zip line's gonna bear
our weight there, homie.

Oh, it won't. Then how the hell
are we gonna get out of here?

RILEY: Anytime now.

Aim for the pool.

Don't... Chairs
are not art, okay?

They're just not.
They're just chairs.

All you do is sit in them.

(hand dryer whirring) I'm not exactly
sure what the crime is here, Bozer.

It's not illegal to own
surveillance equipment.

BOZER: Fine, but this dude has
high-end surveillance equipment.

Like the kind of stuff we use.

What's a civilian
doing with that?

Well-well, maybe
he's just a weird guy

with a weird hobby, man.

He pulled a gun, Jack.
Is that a hobby, too?

It is, yeah. Some places.

(chuckles): Look, Boze,
from this guy's perspective,

he's standing on
his own property.

When his dog starts barking
like there's an intruder,

he probably thought
someone was there to hurt him.

Every newbie starts
seeing secret agents

lurking in the shadows, man.

Just take a deep breath,
don't get sidetracked,

focus on your training,

and stay out of
trouble, will you?

(knock on door)

Boundaries.

Just got word from the Pawn.
His sources confirmed our claim

about stealing the painting.

So we get a meeting? We did.

Riley just got us a
time and a location.

Barcelona, so wheels up in 20.

Wrap it up in here, girls.

(both chuckle) Well, you
heard the lady. We got to jet.

Okay, no problem.

Good luck in Spain.

Oh... Oh, one more
thing, totally unrelated.

Remember when we
were ten, and we broke into

my uncle's tool shed?
How'd you get through

that giant padlock? That
is not totally unrelated.

I'm not gonna help you break
into some poor guy's garage.

Have fun at training.

Yeah. Stay out of trouble.

(dog barking in distance)

LEANNA: What are you doing?

Uh, uh...

Nothing. I was just, uh...

Wait, what are you doing?

I was up early this morning,

studying for today's
cryptography exam,

when I look out my
window and see you

sneaking out the house.

So you followed me?

More like seized the opportunity

to sharpen my shadowing skills.

Anyway, it's your turn.
What are you doing

in someone's backyard?

It's, uh...

Well, uh... It's a long story.

Any story with some light
B and E is worth a listen.

Okay. The other day,
when we were running,

I saw the guy who lives
here take something

out of a trash can and
move part of the stop sign.

You think it's a dead drop?

Yeah. Which is why
I followed him here.

And I saw surveillance
gear in his garage.

The super high end
stuff the government uses.

Look, I know this guy's up to
something, I just need proof.

And you're here
to get said proof.

Then, I guess we better
hurry before he wakes up.

Guess we better.

Are we in the right garage?

It was right here.

He must've moved it.
That's the only explanation.

Look.

It's hard to argue with that.

Okay, well, if this guy
really is up to something,

then, maybe his close encounter
with you freaked him out,

and he cleared
whatever was in here.

Maybe.

(car alarm beeping)

(whistling)

(man speaking
indistinctly in distance)

I'm sorry. I thought
I was in room 42.

No, Elwood. You're
in the right room.

You just may be
in the wrong town.

Sit.

We're gonna chat.

Okay.

My name is Matty Webber.

I employ your daughter.

Well, it's nice to meet you.

Save it. I'm not
here to make nice.

Riley isn't just an employee.

She's family.

And I need you to
understand just how much

I'm willing to do to
protect my family.

Look, Ms. Webber,
I'm sure Riley's told you

some pretty awful
things about me.

And they're probably all true.

Actually, Riley hasn't told
me a single thing about you.

Because you're
not a part of her life.

(keys jingle)

(sighs)

Yeah, I know that.

But I want to be.

More than anything.

And I'm gonna do whatever
it takes to earn her trust.

Maybe you're telling the
truth, maybe you're not.

Time will tell.

But I promise you this:

if you're here for any reason

other than to try to start a new
relationship with your daughter,

then you will see me again.

And that meeting won't be
nearly as enjoyable as this.

(door opens)

(door closes)

(door chimes jingle)

We have an appointment.

(buzzer sounds)

Whoa... whoa, whoa,
watch the hands there, TSA.

Standard?

You must be the Pawn...

(unzips)

Not much of a talker.

Don't lean on that.

(microscope clicks)

Impressive.

You avoided
damaging the painting

when you removed
it from the frame.

Yeah, well, I'm always careful
when I do that, you know.

Put that down.

Easy with the merch there, pal.

You break it, you bought it.

You know what I mean?

(laughs softly)

What is that thing, anyway?

Just another
verification technique.

The forgers will copy the
final version of a painting,

but they seldom bother

with duplicating
the early sketches

or paintings hidden underneath.

(beeping)

But you, gentlemen,

appear to be in possession
of an authentic Franz Marc.

My employer will be very happy.

MacGYVER: Well, making
him happy is the goal.

We're hoping this is

the beginning of a long
and fruitful relationship.

I, uh, have been authorized
to offer you $7 million.

(laughs)

$7 million?

It just went for 25 at auction.

MacGYVER: But...

we're willing to hand
this over for free.

If we can get a face-to-face
meeting with Lemaire?

(laughing): Well.

The art world

is very small, gentlemen.

And none of my
friends or associates

have ever heard
anything about you

until you...

acquired this painting.

Well, until now, our
operation has serviced

a very small, select
group of clients.

Yeah. Yeah, we just want to
add Lemaire to the guest list.

Know what I'm saying?

Well, I will pass your
proposal along to Mr. Lemaire,

let him decide. Hmm?

We'll be in touch.

Well, that could've gone better.

What are you talking
about? We nailed it.

Totally nailed it.

The Pawn's setting up a
meeting with Lemaire as we speak.

From what I heard,
all we know for certain

is that the Pawn
can't be trusted.

What is it?

Why are you making the
"there's something wrong" face?

Stop the van. JACK: What?

(tires screeching)

Mac. (horn honking)

What's the problem?

CAGE: What's going on?

Whoa, where'd
all their stuff go?

The painting we stole
had a nail hole in the corner

where it was
attached to the frame.

This one does not.

So this is a fake?

Yeah. We just lost
the Franz Marc,

the Pawn,

and our only lead on Lemaire.

You lost the Franz Marc.
That's what you're telling me?

MacGYVER (over phone):
I mean, it was really elegant

in its simplicity. The
real Franz Marc, it goes

into a machine, and then
they show us an X-ray image,

congratulate us
on the authenticity,

then pull out a fake.
It's just sleight of hand,

but at its finest.

Oh. I'm glad you're all
so impressed by their con.

You know what would impress me?

Someone...

Anyone... telling me
how you plan on getting

The Tower of Blue Horses
back and bring down Lemaire.

Well, get this.

I pulled call detail records

from the cell tower closest
to our current location.

I found a single call placed
to a second burner phone.

Time-stamped right after Mac
and Jack walked out with the fake.

That must be the
Pawn calling Lemaire

to report the switch
was a success.

I'd bet good money on it.

Riley, do you think
you can pinpoint

the location of
that second burner?

Already done.

Tracked it to a mall in Hungary.

A mall that was
closed for renovations

in 2008, and never reopened.

Sounds like the perfect
place to store millions of dollars

in stolen art.

GLOVER: Baker, Michelle.

Here.

GLOVER: Bozer, Wilt.

Where's your new BFF?

I don't know, ma'am.

♪ ♪

(computer beeps)

JACK: I thought this
place was abandoned.

It's supposed to be.

Wait a second.

Lemaire isn't just
storing his stolen art here.

He's selling it.
This is an auction.

Good thing about
malls: multiple entrances.

I suggest we find one with
less, uh, guys with guns?

Agreed.

But four people sneaking around

in the parking lot's
a little conspicuous.

I think we should split up.

Riley and I will go left.

And Cage and I
will go the other way.

Keep your comms
hot, and be careful.

What are you doing?
Why are you being weird?

I'm not being weird, you're
being weird. Super weird.

Now, did I do something
to piss you off?

Because if I did something
to upset you, just tell me

and I'll stop doing
it... At least I'll-I'll try.

There's nothing's going on.

All right? You
didn't do anything

to piss me off, I promise.

Perhaps we should
focus on the mission,

hash this out later?

Open comms mean Mac
and I can hear every word.

(quietly): Yeah, but Jack's
gonna tell me about this

at the house later on, so
this saves me time. Shh.

Riley, when have
you ever been shy

about telling me when
you're upset with me?

I'm allowed to have
personal situations

that don't involve you.

Ha. I knew it.

Something-Something's
going on, isn't it?

(sighs) Ah.

Look, I just need to do
this on my own, all right?

Can you, can you let me do that?

Can you trust me to do that?

Riley, you're one of the
most capable people I know,

and I trust that you can handle
anything that comes your way,

but by now I hope you realize

that I am here for you I know.

In whatever capacity
you need me. I know.

I know.

Do you mind? We're kind
of having a moment here.

MAN: Put the gun down.

Oh, hey, fellas.

It's cool, it's cool.

We-we, we worked it out.

(grunts) Again.

(grunts)

Again.

(Jack groans)

PAWN: Enough.

Anything else to say?

(wheezing): Uh-uh. So...

somehow, you managed
to follow me here.

A fatally stupid
mistake on your part,

but still... very impressive.

He had a partner,
male, blond, late 20s.

Find him.

So, looks like you're getting

the deal you offered, after all.

We pay absolutely nothing

for the Franz Marc

and you get to meet my boss.

(door opens)

So, you must be the
great and powerful Lemaire.

Really been wanting
to meet you, man.

Shake your hand, but
I'm a little tied up here.

Drop the charade,

whoever you are.

I know art thieves.

I've cultivated them.

I've trained them.

(laughing): And you
are not one of them.

I don't know, the
little blue ponies

your boys took off me would
say otherwise, smarty-pants.

The time for lies is over.

I would like to hear the truth.

And we can begin
with your real name

and what agency
you are working for.

My name's Kevin Perkins.

I'm wide receiver for
the Dallas Cowboys.

(Jack grunts)

Bozer, where the
hell have you been?

Glover's pissed and you're
about to get kicked out.

Glover can do whatever
she wants to me

after I show her what I found.

What are you talking about?

I followed that guy.

He used the same dead drop
in the trash can on the corner,

but this time he left
something, a flash drive,

and I grabbed it. Look.

LEANNA: That's everyone here.

The whole school.
This drive has intel

on every trainee, every teacher.

This school isn't supposed to
exist, and whoever this guy is,

he knows all about it.

He's IDing operatives
before we're fully trained.

Do you know what
he could do with this?

He could expose every spy
that's ever walked these halls.

We have to get this to Glover.

That's what I'm trying to do.

(gun hammer clicks) I'll
take my flash drive back.

Now.

(grunting)

Look, he's after me,
not you. But, Bozer...

You'll be safer if we
split up. Go get help.

I'm not splitting
up. You need to go.

Bozer... Listen
to me. Just listen.

If we don't split up,
we're both gonna die.

(footsteps approaching)

(gunshot ricochets)

(grunting)

That's excruciating, isn't it?

I hope you know
this can all stop

if you just tell me who you are.

Tell me, can you?

Okay, well, if you want me to
sing, you're gonna have to do

a little bit more
than tickle me, Elmo.

Perhaps your friend here

will be a little
more chatty, huh?

Huh?

Very introverted.

She's very beautiful.

You better think very carefully

about the next thing you do

because if you hurt her,
I swear to God, I will...

(laughing): You'll do what?

You can do nothing.

You will hang there
and watch, most likely.

There is nothing else you can do

but hang there like
a little, whiny dog.

Now tell me what
I want to know...

Now is the time Jack would
ask if you have any brilliant ideas.

Got one. Not
sure if it's brilliant.

Get ready... Things
are gonna happen fast.

(electrical zapping,
Jack yelling)

LEANNA: Hey, baldy!

WIESSLER: That was very brave.

And very dumb.

Where's your boyfriend?

BOZER: Heads up!

Come here.

Did you hit him because
he called me your boyfriend?

(exhales)

(gasps softly)

(booming explosion)

(grunting)

(Jack and Riley grunting)

Good to see you, Mac.

Yeah, you, too.

Hey.

You want to know who I am?

Huh?

I'm the guy who
just broke your nose.

What?

(grunts)

(panting)

Thank you.

Anytime.

Did he hurt you?

Yeah, no, I'm good.

RILEY: Yeah.

Oh, Jack.

Is your leg okay? It will be.

I'll help you. Come
here, come here.

(groaning)

Ooh-hoo-hoo.

Dallas Cowboys?

Ooh. America's Team, baby.

America's Team.

Thanks, Jack. You're welcome.

We have Lemaire in custody,

Franz Marc is back
in our possession,

and we cut off a
terrorist revenue stream.

All in all, I'd say
the mission was a...

Don't do that. Work of art.

Maybe in a Jackson
Pollock kind of way?

Please don't encourage him.

Congrats, but your success
is not the headline here.

What do you mean?
Our favorite lab tech

just uncovered a
massive spy ring.

Wait, Bozer?

Yeah. Karl Wiessler,

disgraced BND operative,

now works for a rogue
private intelligence firm.

Wiessler was hired

to identify undercover
government operatives

while they're still in training.

Thanks to Bozer,
the entire operation

has been completely shut down.

That is awesome. Go, Bozer.
Yeah, I know. Where is he?

We should be popping
champagne with him right now.

Bozer is right where
he should be... in class.

He's still got two
weeks left of training.

Ooh. He's gonna be the most
popular one in school now.

Big man on campus.

Of course he'll have to walk
by that giant bronze statue

they erected of me
there... I'm kind of a legend.

Didn't they kick you out after
the whole septic tank incident?

I'll tell you the same
thing I told my instructor:

I thought it was a
dummy grenade.

And I didn't get kicked
out, I... graduated early.

Does that mean
you even graduated?

JACK: Can we change
the subject, please?

Have you told Jack yet?

Not yet.

But you will.

Yeah.

I just need some time.

Good luck.

♪ ♪

(voices muted)

(Riley clears throat)

I'm glad you decided to
meet me again. Me first.

(sighs): The thing is...

you haven't been my
father for a very long time.

Mm. And there's
someone in my life now

who fills that role...

better than you ever did.

Better than you ever could.

I hope you know how happy I
am that you found that person.

Just... so sad
that it wasn't me.

You're saying all
the right things.

But I need you to understand,

you can't get back what
you threw away years ago.

And you can't take the
place of anyone in my life.

I'm not here to hurt you, Riley,

or to change your
relationships with anybody else.

I just...

want to be a part of your world.

A small part. Any part.

Whatever you're
comfortable with.

♪ ♪

Knock, knock.

(laughs softly)

Really?

Hey, you're not the only
one who can tell a bad joke.

Who's there?

Dwayne.

Dwayne... who?

Dwayne the bathtub
already. I'm "dwowning."

(laughing quietly)

It's really bad. You know,
that is... that's pretty good.

(laughs) I'm gonna
steal that one.

No, please don't. Please don't.

Your turn.

Got it. Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

JACK: Want to hurry this up?

You know how I hate returning

to the scene of the crime.

Relax.

I'm almost done.

(alarm blaring)

What did you do? I
leaned up against the wall.

It's not a wall... it's a 14th
century Giotto di Bondone fresco.

Oh, well, gesundheit.
And it looks like a wall.

I can't have this
argument again.

Well, when's a wall not a wall?

(alarm continues blaring)
Okay, which way is the pool?

Man, sometimes

this job sucks.

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