Love Island (2015–…): Season 7, Episode 44 - Episode 38 - full transcript

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

MUSIC: 'Born Slippy'
by Underworld

IAIN STIRLING:
'Previously... on Love Island...

'Two people headed for home.'

The girl we've chosen
to dump from the island is...

..Abi.

Dale.

'While two new arrivals
hit the villa.'

Hello.

'Tonight...

'..can old flames reignite?'



FAYE: 'I am really hurt.

'It's kind of make or break
for me and Teddy now.'

'And say hello...

'..to the new boy.'

Oh, my God. What the...?!

'After six weeks stuck
in low-budget Majorcan hotel rooms,

'new arrivals Aaron and Priya
are finally waking

'to the smell of freedom.

'And it turns out
freedom smells a lot like

'the overpowering aroma
of seven men's farts.'

Morning, everyone!
Morning, guys!

Whoo!
Morning!

Full of energy.

Abi normally runs straight down,



and then Dale walks down
and gives me shit.

Maybe that's why
it's not that bright.

Cos Dale's teeth aren't shining.
LAUGHTER

Hey!
Hello. I like that on you.

So, how was your sleep?
Yeah, it was all right, man.

It was all right.
I had a nice little dream.

What was your dream?

If you tell your dream,
it'll never come true.

Or is it the other way round?
Some deep shit.

I ain't saying it.
LAUGHTER

Was it about someone in here?
Yeah, it is, innit?

Was it about someone
whose name rhymes with "Day"?

Ha-ha-ha!

What's your POA today, please?

My POA...
Grafting.

Make sure I tread
on a couple of people's toes.

Get a room!

Morning, girls.
Morning, Faye.

How are you feeling
after your date?

Good. He's so fit.
Like, he actually is so sexy.

I was saying last night,
I was talking to him,

and he was talking to me,
and I completely zoned out

on what he was saying cos I was
just thinking, "Oh, you're so fit."

What is Mary drinking
in the mornings?

Iced coffee.
Mm-hm.

Are you gonna
pull him for a chat today,

or are you gonna wait
for him to pull you?

Do you think I should
wait for him to pull me?

No.
Go for it.

Boys like it when girls
stick it on 'em, though.

It's one thing we've learned here -
they love that shit.

True.
They love that.

And you lot
are all practically wifed off,

so that's great,
cos I'm the only option!

LAUGHTER

Hello.
Hello!

Was gonna make us breakfast, but
you've got to stay up here now. Aww!

Ha! Ha! Aw, Aaron!

Aw, Aaron!

I'll have the coffee.

Yeah, Jake made me one,
but I'm still gonna have it.

Oh, thank you so much, Aaron.

Kaz, how are you?

I'm just vibing.

The main thing for me is,
Ty and I aren't split up,

so I spend all day with him anyway,
and I enjoy our time together,

and I'm glad
that we're both still here.

How did you sleep?
I didn't sleep that well.

It's one of those things
you just have to settle into.

Yeah, 100%.
But, yeah, just wanted to catch up.

Yeah. What's your...?

Where's your head at
with everything?

So, I spoke to Teddy, but I think
he's very much closed off

from getting to know people.
Yeah.

Because he's obviously
got a lot with Faye going on.

Sorry to interrupt. There you go.

Oh, thank you so much, Matthew.
Welcome to the house.

Very kind. Thank you.
No problem.

That's the first time
a boy's brought me coffee. Oh!

There's a first for everything, eh?
I appreciate it.

Aw! Good start!
What a start to the day!

Aw! Smile.
Love that.

You look like a Cheshire cat.
Honestly...

small things like this,
like, my heart just melts.

Nah, that's good, man.
That's cute.

That's good.
It's cute.

Matthew, on to you.

So, I'm happy, like. Obviously,
Priya has come in, she's beautiful.

We've got so much in common,
and it's...

I feel like she was
built for me in here.

You know what I mean?
So much in common.

The plan of action today,
talk to Matt more, get to know him.

Yeah.
I find him really attractive.

Would he be your type,
usually, on the outside?

Yeah, definitely, definitely.

Yeah. Nice.
So, what about you?

What about me? I had a date
with Mary and Chloe. Mm-hm.

And they were both really good,
but in different ways.

Like, Mary's was a little bit...

I wouldn't say I was nervous,

but she almost intimidated me
a little bit.

She was looking at me, and I was
thinking, "Wow, you're stunning."

Yeah. I definitely
wanna get to know her,

because I feel like
there's a lot more to her

than I've seen, anyway, so far.

I feel like there's
quite a fiery side to her,

which I find sexy as well.
Yeah.

And then, Chloe,
the date was just super fun.

It was just a proper vibe,
we was laughing.

And I knew it was
kinda gonna be like that.

My plan of action today
is to get my eggs,

put them in
Mary and Chloe's baskets,

and just sit back and watch,
and see which ones hatch first.

'Priya wants a workout,

'so Matt's introducing her
to our sweaty gym.

'Jim's the poor cameraman stuck
behind a two-way mirror every day.

'It's like a bloody sauna in there.'

Shall we start off
with a push-up challenge?

No, you'll beat me,
and my reputation forever is gone.

Also, proper push-ups, triceps.

I feel like you're
taking me to the gym. Let's do it.

I'm into it. I'm into it.
I'm a little bossy.

All right.
OK, you ready?

OK.
Three, two, one...

You're so fast.

HE GRUNTS

No, struggling!

I'm struggling as well.
Are you?

Yeah. No, I'm not.

THEY LAUGH

I let... I let him win.
Yeah, thank God I didn't lose!

How are you finding today, then?
Yeah, good.

I feel like you've adapted
so quickly.

Yeah, I feel like it's hard
to not get on with people.

I'm quite overambitious sometimes.

You are very ambitious,
I've noticed that.

If I want to do something,
I'll just do it.

That's good, though.
Yeah, it's definitely a good thing,

but then, it can be a bad thing
with this kind of situation.

There is definitely some attraction
there. I have to shut my jaw.

It's, like, mouth open,

just, like, admiring
the piece of art that is his body.

You beat me in push-ups.
Tomorrow, we'll do a new challenge.

All right.

How are you feeling today, Faye?
Are you OK?

I'm fine.
I'm OK with that situation,

and then Priya coming in...

It's weird, cos I'm not
talking to him, but I trust him now.

Like, I trust that he probably
wouldn't be interested.

Do you think that you've learned
from that experience?

Would you react differently?
You wouldn't.

I can't say that
I'm never gonna fire up again.

You don't have any regrets
about how you reacted?

Do you wish you'd handled it
differently?

I feel bad. I feel like shit
that I blew up the way that I did.

And I am sorry for what I've done.

There's no excuse for it.

There's no excuse for the way
I just flew out, off the handle,

but I just wanna
move forward with it.

All you can say to Teddy is,
like, a genuine apology for that,

but he also needs to apologise, too.
Yeah.

If anything, it's made me realise,
like, what I wanted.

Definitely, yesterday, if he was
stood there and then he went home,

I would've have been like,
"It's OK, cos I'm off, too."

At the end of the day, I am sorry,

but I never think about future Faye.

Actually, I sabotage her every day
just by being a knob.

'As a fellow footballer, Toby's
spotted the new boy's game plan.

'Clearly, Aaron's going for
an attacking set-up

'with an early press
so he can dispossess Toby,

'and, with any luck, score.'

You wanna come for a chat?
Oh! Sure thing.

Where do you wanna go?
Beanbags?

You can sit really high
on those ones.

Oh! That's hot!
SHE LAUGHS

Burnt my back.
Oh, I'm sorry about that.

Erm... You know...

I can't lie, my head's
not in this conversation right now,

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
TOBY LAUGHS

That's why I went like that to you.

You're rattled, aren't you?
You're rattled.

I can't right now.
TOBY LAUGHS

Ow, get off!
Are you rattled? Are you rattled?

They look good together, no?
I'm not gonna lie.

LAUGHTER

What we're gonna do is...
work with this area,

and your background's
gonna be there,

so I'm gonna take it
this way round, yeah? OK.

So, how am I posing, babe?

You're the influencer,
you tell me how to pose.

If you come...
Oh...

I want you to do this...
to that way.

OK.
Yeah?

Yeah. Ooh...

Oh, you look so peng, I can't cope.

Look at me. Hold that...

Oh, yeah! Oh, Libby!

But, erm... Yeah, just wanted to see
kind of what you're saying,

where your head's at.

Obviously, I know we spoke yesterday
about it and stuff. Yeah.

And, erm... like, I appreciate
the fact that you're obviously,

you know, in something,
but, at the same time,

like, I do still wanna
get to know you and stuff,

cos I think we will get along well,
but, obviously, like,

if you was to say
that you was completely shut off,

then, obviously, it's
a different conversation, innit?

Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.

I feel like you are, like,
my type on paper, 100%.

Like, when you walked in,
I was like, "Oh, LOL, that's funny."

THEY LAUGH
But, like, I'm with Tobes.

I can't see my head turning.
Like, I don't know what it is.

It's probably cos
you've not mugged me off.

LAUGHS: Basically, I've got to be
a prick, and then I have a chance.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Interesting.

Either way,
I still wanna get to know you.

100%. I'm literally
the best person in here.

Don't waste your time.

You were.
You were the best person in here.

Have I been demoted?
Was I number one?

You were...
SHE SQUEALS

I don't know about...
No, let me finish, let me finish.

I'm the winner!
I don't know about...

I don't know about number one.

You was probably in contention,
top three. Fuck off.

I feel like, with me and Chloe,
we get along very well,

the conversation's very easy-going,

but I think she's kinda got
the blinkers on Toby a little bit.

This is winding Toby up as well,
so I'm enjoying it.

SHE LAUGHS

Why, winding him up
cos he knows that I'm your type?

Yeah.
He looks rattled, which is great.

I mean, he's only human,
d'you know what I mean? So...

SHE LAUGHS
..it's to be expected.

Fucking hell, man,
they're playing footsies and that.

LAUGHING: It's not nice
when someone pulls the girl you like

for a chat in front of your face.

It's not nice at all.
Your belly goes a little bit.

It's like... like a...

You know when you're
on a roller-coaster

and then you have that drop?

It's like that.
It's honestly like that,

so your belly just...
You're like, "Oh!"

Just back a little bit more.
Tiny, tiny bit more.

That's it. Ya-a-a-as.

IAIN: 'Oh, good to see the Islanders
taking pictures

'so they have some sort of record
of their time

'on our multi-camera TV show.

'Anyway, while Kaz is snapping,
Aaron's busy grafting.'

Yeah, you're definitely
the person in here, like,

that I just wanna spend time with.

Good. Not in, like, a...
Not in, like, a cringey way.

Yeah. I guess that was kind of...
The perfect...

I guess that was kind of
actually cringey, wasn't it?

THEY LAUGH
But...

But, like... "Not in a cringey way,
but you're the only person..."

Yeah, but... Yeah.
No, that's good.

Like, I just feel like
me and you just vibe together.

Mm-hm.
So...

We'll vibe to get to know
each other more.

No, I'm glad you've come in.
Yeah.

Why don't we just skip this bit

and just decide
how many kids we're gonna have?

SHE LAUGHS
I'm joking! I'm only joking.

I feel like we would have
very cute babies, though.

Yeah, we would, 100%.

'We're getting along really well.'

Obviously, I don't wanna
jump the gun.

Like, this is my third time lucky
now, but...

I'm excited.

You came the minute I was thinking,
"What am I doing here?"

Perfect timing.
Perfect timing.

And I couldn't have been more happy
you picked me on a date last night.

I was like, "Yes!"
Yours felt like a proper date.

Mm-hm. Ours felt like a date
where I was little bit like,

"Oh, shit," like...
Nervous?

Not nervous, but, like,
excited kind of nervous.

Yeah. Cos I've not been on a date
either till last night.

That was your first date?
That was my first date.

I've not been on a date in here.
So you...

I took your date virginity
in Love Island and you took mine?

You did, yeah.
First time for everything.

That's a big thing.
I know.

Hold that.

CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
Nice.

What shall I do?
Shall I put my hands up, shall I...?

Right, hands up. That's quite nice.
Yeah.

CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
SHOUTS: Oh, my God!

IAIN: 'Coming up...

'Faye's feeling the pain.'

I am really hurt.
Like, I am really upset.

IAIN STIRLING: 'Apparently,
poor old sweaty Jim the cameraman's

'been suffering from
a severe case of whiplash.

'No idea why.'

MUSIC: 'Only Me'
by Nathan C, feat. Yola Recoba

# Wish I had the answer

# Been keepin' me up all night
Keepin' me up all night... #

My day has been
an absolute pleasure.

Still some grafting to do tonight,
but the night is young.

Made good impressions all round.
Stop it, guys. Making me blush.

Wonder what's gonna unfold tonight
for you.

Gonna unfold...
I dunno, bro. I dunno.

If I have a conversation,
that's a start.

So, Matt is your current number one?
Yeah, he's in the lead.

Oh, I love that.
Dirty doctor's coming out!

# I'm spendin' time
Thinkin' what we could've been... #

So, I just wanna say thank you
to everyone for making me and Priya

feel so welcome.

To good times,
good vibes and finding wives.

ALL CHEER

# Keepin' me up all night
Keepin' me up all night. #

IAIN STIRLING: 'Medical student
Priya's heading for a flirty chat

'with Matt.

'I can see this ending up in A&E -
"arousal and excitement".'

We have so much in common,
and my whole thing in here is,

like, personality
is number one for me.

And you're obviously
very beautiful.

Oh, thanks!
But your personality is amazing,

and I couldn't speak
highly enough of you.

Oh, that's so kind. Aww!

I'm very much enjoying getting to
know you, and I hope it continues.

Me too, me too. I think...
I'm liking how we're taking this.

Like, slow and steady,
and I feel like I'm obviously,

like, very drawn to you.

And I feel like,
when we stood up there,

I just felt so comfortable,
like, around you.

That's just a really good sign.
That's a really good sign,

because if you're not comfortable
around somebody,

you can't really talk
from the heart.

You can't talk, like,
in an intellectual level as well,

then it doesn't work, like.
That's my experience, you know.

Matt is growing on me massively.

We can have fun in the gym,

but also have those deep,
meaningful conversations.

And, like, you know,
he's ticking both boxes.

'We know Aaron's a footballer,
but what's his preferred position?

'Apparently, lying with his head
at a mad angle on a giant pillow.

'Five minutes like that,
and I'd be calling my chiropractor.'

So, let me ask you a question.
Mm-hm.

You're sitting down at a table
with your friends... Mm-hm.

..all of a sudden,
you see me walk in.

Mm-hm.

We sit on the table opposite you.
OK.

Would you make the first move?
I'm actually...

I actually am quite bad
when people approach me, to be fair.

If I approached you out,
do you think you'd pie me?

No, cos you're fit.

And you would have to come over
with a good line.

If you came over with some dead
chat, I'd be like, "This guy..."

Impossible, impossible.
You would have to be funny.

I could never come over
with dead chat.

Well, then, I wouldn't pie you.

Roles reversed, but in a club, yeah,
would you give me the first move?

Like, would you come over?
If I'm giving you the eye.

If you gave me the eye,
I would give you this one.

SHE LAUGHS

So, if you was like...
I probably wouldn't come over.

If you was like...
HE MOUTHS

..then I'd come over.
All right, OK.

So, you come over,
what would you say to me?

I'd probably just say,

"Oh, you think you're so stush
that you can't come and chat to me?"

That is...
I actually could've guessed that!

THEY LAUGH

If you done that, I would grab
the drink and go like this.

Chuck it in your face.

Imagine that. That'd be so funny.
That'd be so bad.

With Aaron, like, I am giddy.

Like, we're speaking
in a conversation,

and I don't want
the conversation to end.

It feels different.

You gonna make me a coffee? It's
a big thing in here, that, as well.

I know.
The coffee-making is a big thing.

That's why I done it.

I knew the significance of it.
I was stamping down my authority.

Yeah? Saying, "Boom."
You're saying, "I'm here."

You OK?

Oh, we look like one of us
has been on a sun lounger too long,

and the other one
ain't been in the sun at all.

THEY LAUGH

I feel like you always sit here
when you discuss the problems.

Yeah, yeah.
I'm sitting there when I'm...

This could be a problem-solver one,
to be fair.

Tonight is going to be the night
that I apologise to Teddy.

And how are you feeling about that?
You nervous?

Like, I'm not...

It's hard, because I'm nervous.
Yeah. Like, I am nervous...

..cos I know that I done wrong.

Ultimately, I know that I can't
react to situations like that,

and that's not nice
for anyone to see.

For the first time in my life,
I've not been able to run in here.

And it's, like, really scary.

Don't be scared, babe. Oh, my God.

Do not be scared.
Do you know how amazing you are?

You're overcoming so much right now,

and know that
what you're doing right now

is such a big thing for you.

And, literally,
hats off to you for doing it,

because not everybody can.

I can't promise that, like,
that side of me isn't gonna blow...

That there isn't gonna be things
that I blow up about. Yeah.

That's me being...
like, completely honest.

Well, that's fair.

I'm only being like it
because I do really like him.

Like, I am really hurt.
Like, I am really upset.

You should be proud of yourself.

# I just wanted you to say something

# Anything at all
To put my mind at ease

# That you're a good man
After all... #

You can do it. It's fine.
Come on, hon.

Get Teddy back.
Mission Get Teddy Back.

Again!

You ready?
Mm.

Can I steal Teddy, please?
Yes, you can.

Do you wanna stay here?
I'll go to the... We'll go fire pit?

OK.
Can I grab a wine as well?

Oh, yeah, sorry.
I would've got it, but...

No, that's all right.
Give me two minutes.

It's very nerve-wracking, isn't it?

It's kind of make or break
for me and Teddy now,

and I need to have just a normal,
adult, should I say, quiet,

should I also say,
conversation with him.

TEDDY SIGHS

Do they kiss and make up here?

Go on.

Can I say, first and foremost,
like, no beating around the bush,

I am really sorry
for the way I spoke to you.

Mm.
Like, really sorry.

Um, there's no excuse...

..for the way I spoke to you
or how I raised my voice,

and no-one should have someone
speak to them like that.

The biggest thing
I'm always gonna be sorry for,

out of this whole Casa Amor thing,
is that Casa Amor hurt you. Yeah?

I can say that, I can shout that
at the top of a roof.

I know.

Seeing what I saw on screen,
I was hurt.

And, for me...

..to react like that,
I obviously do care about you a lot.

Like, a lot.

Obviously, I would love to show you
that that isn't how I feel,

and I'm not done, and hopefully
be able to start with you

and continue with you
on this journey.

I wouldn't say sorry just to anyone.

Like, I...
"Sorry" rarely leaves my lips.

I know. And realising you're wrong
rarely crosses your mind.

# Never knew that
We'd make it this far... #

It's the... "I'm done" situation,

and "I wanna move forward alone"
situation which kind of...

out of absolutely everything,
hurt me the most.

I'll be honest, it's not gonna be
so easy for me to be like,

"Oh, Faye, let's just..."

I wanna kind of know
that you actually want it.

I do want that step with you.

But obviously it's hard
for me to talk about it now,

but as soon as, like, you say that,

I honestly just went into
self-sabotage mode.

# Tonight, you're a stranger

# Some silhouette

# Just hold me... #

And then it's just, like,
gone back to shit.

# Just hold me... #

They're getting a little bit closer.

# Just hold me

# Just hold me... #

I'm not gonna ask you to, like,
forgive me straight away.

I'm not gonna ask that of you.
Obviously, I want you to.

But if you need to get to know
other people in here

to know where your head is...
No, that's not what I'm saying.

I don't need that.
I don't need that.

What do you think I need?

CHEERING

# Tonight, you're a stranger
Some silhouette

# It's only been a moment
It's only been a lifetime

# But, tonight, you're a stranger
Some silhouette... #

SCREAMING

# But, tonight, you're a stranger
Some silhouette... #

Teddy and Faye!
Teddy and Faye!

Are back together!
CHEERING

# And I can feel it
Coming in the air tonight... #

Ty?
Right?

Can we cuddle tonight?
Can we go daybed?

Yes, darling.

# I can feel it
Coming in the air tonight

# Oh, Lord... #

Oh, I'm so happy for you.

Go down there in lingerie
and see what happens.

Oh, my God, I actually
might do that. Do it. Yeah!

Naughty.

# I've been waiting for this moment
For all my life... #

So, I'm gonna say good night
to everyone, run out...

I'll leave it for a few seconds,
and then I'll run back in.

And then what happens?
"Good night."

TEDDY KISSES AIR
Yeah?

Ted, can you stick to the plan?
I will stick to the plan.

# I can feel it
Coming in the air tonight

# Oh, Lord... #

Night. Where you going?
I'm going bed, why?

You're going doghouse, aren't you?

Yeah?
LAUGHTER

Have a nice sleep!
Oh, Jesus Christ.

You know what, Faye, that set
looks very, very good on you.

Thank you!
You almost look irresistible.

# I can feel it coming

# In the air tonight

# Oh, Lord... #

Good night.

# And I've been waiting
For this moment

# For all my life

# Oh, Lord... #

I'm not fucking leaving!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

CHANTING: Teddy! Teddy! Teddy!
Teddy! Teddy!

Welcome back, Ted!

Why, where are you sleeping?

CHEERING
Teddy-o!

LAUGHTER

# I've been waiting
For this moment

# For all my life

# Oh, Lord... #

# I've been waiting
For this moment

# For all my life

# Oh, Lord. #

# No-one can love me
Better than you... #

'Last night,
Teddy and Faye finally had it out,

'while Toby finally had it out...

'Then he had it in,
then he had it out,

'then he had it in, then...
Well, you get the idea.'

# No-one can love me better than you

# No-one can hurt me
Better than you... #

HE EXHALES

Darling.
SHE GROANS

It's been a while
since we've shared a bed.

I know.

I think we cuddled, like,
the whole way through, didn't we?

Literally, the whole night.
Yeah. Woo-woo!

Morning, morning, rise and shine.
Morning.

How was your first night
out of the Doghouse?

Just beautiful.

Good morning!
Morning! Morning!

Hi, guys.
You're always smiling, in't you?

Yeah. Always smiling and happy,
I like that.

Oh, thank you.
You've gotta, you've gotta smile.

You are just so cute this morning.
Can you go make me a coffee?

I mean, I'm sorry,
but I'm not grovelling.

I really, really want some.

LIPS SMACKING

Whose arse was clapping last night?

HE CLAPS

Oh?
That's what I heard.

And, Toby,
you're very quiet right now.

If it was me,
you'd know it was me, bro.

# No-one can love me
Better than you... #

HE YOWLS

My God.

How was last night?
Yeah, it was good, bro.

She smashed it.
Teddy's back.

"I'm not fucking leaving!"

'After all their ups and downs,

'Jake's delighted to see two
Islanders finally coming together.

'Oh, he means Teddy and Faye!

'I thought he was talking about
Toby and Chloe. My bad.'

You feel good this morning,
a weight off your shoulders,

like you can move forward now.
If she means what she says,

there's no reason why it shouldn't
just be a straight line.

But we all know Faye.

It may not potentially
be as easy as that.

So, yeah, let's see how today goes.

Nice, bro.
I'm happy for the pair of you.

And then, obviously,
she said she will make a coffee,

but that remains to be seen.

Then he gave me a good night kiss,
and then was like,

"I'm not kissing you tonight."
And I was like, "Why?"

And he was like,

"No, like, obviously,
I just want you to, like, realise."

And I was like, "OK. Fine."

So then I was like,
turning back to him,

and then I turned over
and I was like, "What about now?"

THEY LAUGH

I'm really happy this morning.

I mean, he didn't wanna
give me a kiss night,

and I was very annoying
and kept trying to push for a kiss.

But he stuck to his guns.

So I've still got grovelling
I need to do.

Liam!
Liam.

Sleep well?
HE CHUCKLES

Fuck off.
THEY LAUGH

Slept well, bro.
We had a little bit of pillow talk.

Had a nice little kiss.

So the clapping wasn't you?
It wasn't me, clapping cheeks.

Dunno if it was him next door to me,
busting one out.

THEY LAUGH

He's putting it on me!

Smiler, smiler, smiler.
On the daybed, last night.

Do you know what? I'm actually
glad I done it, though.

We fell asleep cuddling,
woke up cuddling.

It was just nice, know what I mean?

So, Kazalicious,
you got to sleep outside last night.

I really, really, really, really,
really, really like Tyler.

Yay!
THEY CHEER

Matt, how you getting on?
How'd you get on last night?

Things with Priya
are going really well.

Every conversation I have with her,
I, like, learn more about her.

I'm like, I don't want
the conversation to stop.

You wanting to lock lips with her?
Are you...?

Yes, I will.
Smoochy smooch.

So, Matthew and I,
obviously early days,

but I think he's gorgeous.
And yesterday, I felt like...

I felt like we were a couple.
Aww!

I'm excited for today. Erm...

Maybe there will be
a bit of touching.

Who knows? Maybe a kiss. Who knows?

POA today - be a good person.

Don't raise your voice.
Stay cool, calm and collected.

Make Teddy happy.
Go make Teddy a coffee.

Go get him fucking coffee now!
Bye, guys!

What's everybody else's
plan of action today?

Snog Liam loads. Snog Liam loads.
Yeah, snog Toby's face off

and not leave him alone.
Put on a sexy bikini. Yeah!

I'm not a coffee person.

I receive coffee.
I don't give coffee.

She doesn't quite have my balls
in her hand yet.

But, you know, we'll probably
get back to that at some point.

LAUGHTER

Cos last night was difficult.
Shh!

Here she is.
Just here to do my errands.

You know, make people happy,
be a good person.

HE LAUGHS

What about you, Aaron?
It's caught me off guard

a little bit,
cos I wasn't expecting to come in,

like, automatically wanna
spend time with someone so much.

I definitely know
that she's the one

that I want to pursue
something with further, so...

Tunnel vision for her, mate.
Good lad.

Turn up the flirt dial
a little bit today.

What this is...
It's service.

I don't know
how often I've gotta do this.

I could get used to it,
tell you that much.

Do you want me to take you bowl,
whilst I'm here?

Do you know what? Yeah, why not.

Anyone else...? No, I'm joking.
No, just yours.

A way to a man's heart
is look after his brothers.

OK, all right. Is that right, yeah?
Oh, yeah.

That was right, yeah.
Can I get an orange juice?

An orange juice?
Yeah. OK, thank you.

Rub some on my back, please.
OK, all right.

Cheers, Faye.
No, guys.

Thank you very much, it's tasty.
Mm-hm.

'As we all know,
it's A-level results day,

'and unlike most people,

'Chloe's over the moon
after receiving an F.'

It's so funny in the room at night,
because there's you and Liam,

me and Toby, and then
there's fucking Liberty and Jake.

Obviously, everyone's
studying for NVQs like a classroom.

It's fucking ridiculous.
SHE LAUGHS

You don't hear us, do you?
We're pretty quiet.

No. I mean, if there's any sort of
bit of sound,

Liam's like, "Shh, shut up."

Really?
He gets really paranoid.

It's Liam! Thought it'd be you!
THEY LAUGH

Have you got a good tutor?

I think, I think he's helped me
pass with flying colours.

To do it really right.

Well, you can put that
on your CV now. Yeah.

Oh, my God. A... in...

Rude things.

THEY LAUGH

Yeah, the exams are quite hard.

LAUGHTER

Where is she? There. I just really
don't want her to turn around.

IAIN: 'I see Aaron's luggage
has finally arrived.

'He was offered a personalised
Love Island suitcase,

'but he wanted something
a bit more classy.

'And now he's gonna dish up
some treats for Mary.'

OK, so that's got sweets.

Anyone want any sweets?
Yeah.

What is the plan?

I'm just gonna get on the daybed.

So, what are we gonna do?

We are gonna do
a sweet treats brunch.

Sugary sweets,
cos she likes sugary sweets.

Yeah. OK.
Fruit.

Put them all in...
Make it look pretty.

Yeah, make it look pretty and nice,
and then I'm gonna take it over.

I'll go distract her.
I'll sit on the counter and block.

You sit and block, and then me
and Toby will do everything up here.

Hello, Mary Quite Contrary.
Hello.

Oh, what's this?
Erm...

Do you put it on?
It's like body glow.

Do you put hummus in a bowl?

You can put that in there,
just like that. Nice.

Nah, that looks sick!

Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.

It's like a birthday cake
with carrots.

I'm gonna... OK, I'm just gonna
let you guys know,

I'm gonna take full credit for this.
This was all me.

Yeah, this was all you.
OK.

Operation Hail Mary is in full flow.

And, like,
we just vibe with each other.

Like, the conversation's
so, like, easy and free-flowing.

We'll wait till you give us
a signal.

OK.
Show us the signal. Erm...

Come on.
LAUGHTER

That type of thing!

Do you know, once,
when I was younger,

I bet my mum £5 that I'd become
the next Hannah Montana.

Really?
I genuinely believed it, as well.

What happened to that dream? Just...
It died a painful death, Lib.

LAUGHTER

I don't know what possessed
my mum and dad,

they bought me a guitar.
Yeah?

But I didn't have guitar lessons.

I used to just sit on my landing,
like, strumming it,

and it was like, "Rawwrm!"
And I'd just sing.

Lib, I think Kaz
wants to chat to you in the kitchen.

Yeah, I'll leave youse two to it.
See you later, Lib.

No problem. See you later, guys.
Me and Lib just got oiled up.

Are you having a nice day?
I'm having a nice day.

It's a nice chilled one today.
Mm.

I feel like I could do with,
like, a little...

a little brunch date, or something.
Yeah?

If we was on the outside,
where would you take me on a date?

I dunno. Maybe, like...

Erm...

OK, go.
Have you got everything?

Dunno, maybe, like, a...
I don't know where's a brunch

where you can do
really nice food and that.

Nice food, but get drunk!

Good afternoon, guys.

Welcome to our sweet treats brunch
for the pair of you.

We heard from a little someone
all your favourite things,

so we prepared this.
LAUGHTER

Here you go, madam.
Thank you!

Sir!
Thank you very much.

Did you do this?

Maybe. Oh, my God, that's so cute!
LAUGHTER

So, we'll leave you to it,
but enjoy!

Thank you, guys!
Thank you!

Aw! That's so cute!

It's nice, isn't it?

I'm sorry, but that is so cute!

Oh, that was so cute, her face!

We're definitely
the funnest couple in here now.

Yeah, 100%.
We definitely are.

You just called us a couple.
You need to slow down.

So, first day, I got a coffee.
The second day, I get a brunch.

I don't know how...
Starting off big!

I don't know how
I'm gonna keep these levels up!

I wondered why
Lib came and sat next to me. Uh?

I was thinking, "Why have you come
and started putting oil on you?"

She was on it,
she needed to distract you.

Did you tell her to come over?
Yeah.

So everyone knew?
Everyone was in on it.

This was a big brownie point.

Big, big brownie points.

100%.

Ooh!
CHEERING

ALL: Yeah!

LAUGHTER

Whay!

This is the nicest thing
anyone's ever done for me.

Surely not!

LAUGHTER

Fuck off, Mills!
LAUGHTER

IAIN STIRLING: 'They say
Rome wasn't built in a day,

'and neither
was the latest challenge.

'By the looks of it,

'they threw this rubbish together
in about five minutes.

'Yes, it's challenge time,

'and this one's going to involve
a clash of complete and utter...

'That's not what I was gonna say.'

CHEERING

# Looking for some hot stuff
Baby, this evening

# I need some hot stuff... #

'First up, it's Jake and his
damsel in distress, Liberty.'

I am Spartan!

'They start
by making a big entrance,

'before removing their togas
through the medium of a sexy strip.'

CHEERING

Whoo!

'The dancing was sexy.'

I was, you know,
getting all hot and sweaty

being a damsel in distress.

'Next, they pick up
a massive globe...'

CHEERING

'..before walking over
a bed of hot lava.

'Use your imaginations.'

LAUGHTER

Jake, come on!

LAUGHTER

Ahh!

JAKE LAUGHS

When he got stuck in the lava,

I thought he was gonna be
stuck in there for days.

Fuck!

Argh! Argh!

I could not get out of it.

Wargh!
JAKE LAUGHS

Get this one out.

All right! Fuck me,
I've got a pair of bollocks!

# Looking for some hot love, baby
This evening... #

It took six lads
to pull two legs off and two arms.

'Finally, our sex gods
will climb Mount Olympus -

'I'm guessing
this is a scaled model -

'by doing as many pull-ups
as they can

'whilst kissing their damsel.'

CHEERING

# I need hot stuff. #

You had no energy by the time
you got to me, did you?

Did I not? I... 16 kisses. 16!

BOYS GRUNT
GIRLS: 15, 16...

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Whey!

Mate! Did you see how hard that was?

That was so hard.
No, I know.

'Are you ready for Teddy and Faye?'

My name is Teddy,
and I'm a son of a god!

CHEERING

The challenge was great.

It was good.
So fit.

CHANTING: Teddy, Teddy, Teddy!

'It was great dancing.'

Yeah. I mean, it got me
a bit hot under the collar.

HE GRUNTS
Go for it!

GIRLS SQUEAL
Yeah!

CHEERING
Get that bum down!

I went through the lava pit
like it was nothing.

I don't know how Jake struggled.

Ready?
Mwah!

ALL: One, two, three, four, five...

Oh, my God. I was like, "Ooh..."

I can't wait to get back in bed
with this one,

but I can't promise
that I won't be graduating, so...

Yeah!
ALL: 15!

CHEERING

You don't even know what it means.

No, I don't. I'm lost.
SHE LAUGHS

Graduating from what?
You don't wanna know.

'Will Mattius Maximus rescue Priya?'

This is Love Island!

HE ROARS,
CHEERING

MATT GRUNTS

Like, Matt is so good-looking.

Like, his body is, like, dreamy.

CHEERING
HE GRUNTS

CHEERING

HE ROARS

Come on!

You've got to give me 20 for a kiss.

ALL: One. Two.

Three. Four...

I was like, I'm not kissing him,
however many times he comes up.

I'm gonna make sure he gives me 20,
and then I'll kiss him.

..19, 20.

CHEERING

Yeah, he's gonna have to put in more
work if he wants an actual kiss.

'Will Aaron be Mary's gladiator?'

I am Aaron, and I'm a sex god.
CHEERING

HE ROARS

Can you reach?

ALL: One, two, three...
Good reps! Good reps, yeah!

CHEERING

'Liam is next, but will
he get the thumbs up from Millie?'

Are you not entertained?
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.

My dancing
was a Tom Jones kind of vibe.

Tom Jones?!

# Sex bomb, sex bomb

# You're my sex bomb... #

# You can give it to me
When I need to come along

# Sex bomb, sex bomb
You're my sex bomb

# Baby, you can turn me on... #

Got across the slurry
very, very easy.

With the world on my shoulders.

CHEERING

Queen Millie Moo...

'Toby's hitting the Colosseum
to battle for Chloe.'

Tobias Aromolaran
from House Aromolaran!

MUSIC: 'Sexy And I Know It'
by LMFAO

That's the biggest sex god
I've ever seen.

Couldn't fancy him more.

# I'm sexy and I know it. #

You know what? I almost dropped
the world and fell into lava.

But you was watching,
so I said, "Nope."

Baby!

ALL COUNTING

'I already fancied him. I didn't
know I could fancy him any more.'

Oh, my God! Fancied you even more.

Toby's got the biggest sword
I've ever seen.

I just can't wait to get my hands
on it. I really wanna use it.

HE GIGGLES

'Finally, Emperor Tyler
is playing for Kaz.'

My name is Tyler,
king of games, leader of men.

Where is my Kaz?

SHE SQUEALS

I was excited for the striptease,
genuinely. I was looking over.

I was like, "Mmm!"

'The liquid thing,
that you can't get your feet out.'

Oh, my God.
Do you know what? It was like that.

'It feels so weird.'

Come on, Ty!

# Waiting for a star to fall...#

Whoo! How many do you want?

No, don't answer that.
LAUGHTER

ALL: One, two, three, four, five...

I thought you'd do seven pull-ups,
or something.

Not because I don't think you can
do more, but I just thought that!

ALL: 20, 21, 22!

CHEERING
Whoo!

Come on!

AS GLADIATOR:
'Are you not entertained?!

NORMAL VOICE:
'Actually, don't answer that.

'But who did the girls rate
as their favourite sex god?'

So, the girls have decided
that the sexiest god is...

Tyler!

CHEERING
Whoo!

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Whoo!

ALL: Whoosh! Whoosh!

CHEERING

# Carry your heart into my arms

# That's where you belong
In my arms, baby, yeah. #

'Hello!

'While the Islanders were away,
a bombshell's arrived at the villa.

'His name's Brett,
he's a PhD student,

'and the reason he only showed up
in episode 44

'is he walked at that speed
all the way from Palma.'

# Head like a cocktail shaker

# Living in a house
Like an old bodega

# Got the odds looking in my favour

# Standing at the bottom
Of a boilermaker... #

This is Love Island!

Ooh! Why are our men so sexy?

# Standing at the bottom
Of a boilermaker. #

Sir Tyler, of Tylerville...

AARON HUMS DRAMATIC MUSIC

..you are now knighted
the Sex God of Love Island.

All hail King Tyler!

ALL: Ooh!
Ooh!

CHLOE: Sit here?
Yeah.

Where do you want to sit? Sit there?
How was your first challenge?

PRIYA: It was really good.
CHLOE SQUEALS

I know. I know.
So do you love Matt?

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

What the fuck?!
Fuck! No way!

What the hell?
Oh, my God.

Who are you?
It's a new boy.

You can come and say hello
if you like.

Yeah!
Oh, my God!

Come on! Oh, my God.
PRIYA SQUEALS

# Cos I was made for this. #

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.