Loudermilk (2017–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except for Me and My Monkey - full transcript
Loudermilk rallies the group.
I'm Sam Loudermilk,
and I am super-duper excited
about getting you
on the road to sobriety.
Right now, she's having
trouble with her daughter.
I have a feeling that
your brand of help
may be exactly
what she needs.
You want to drink
and drug yourself
to an early grave, great.
You're doing great.
That's my number.
You want help, call it.
I need help.
And a place to stay.
That ain't happening.
As your sponsor
and your only friend,
you really make it hard
for people to like you.
I'm Allison.
I just moved into 2C.
Sam, 2B...
Or not 2B.
Show that you can be
a good guy,
you'll win some points
with Allison.
You think?
Yeah.
Where the hell is Loudermilk?
Oh, I'm in charge.
You ran out of second chances
five chances ago!
Don't bother
coming back here!
Loudermilk is no longer
your group leader.
Please welcome
Garret Mason-Burke.
Great evening,
everybrainy!
Where's Ben?
Ben's moved on.
Uh, who are you again?
I'm Carl,
Allison's boyfriend.
Your boyfriend
is a coward.
'Cause he's got you moving
near him,
but he doesn't have you
moving in with him.
♪♪
When you know it's time to make a change,
we have a place for you...
Hideaway Hills.
A calm, inviting place,
where you can get back
to being the you
you used to be.
Hideaway Hills.
Our drug-and-alcohol
treatment programs
are start-of-the-art,
designed to take the pain
out of healing.
Contact us
about payment plans,
because your recovery
is worth it.
Payment plans.
Find yourself
at Hideaway Hills.
Stop looking for the answers.
Let us find them for you.
Hideaway Hills.
What a load of horseshit.
♪♪
What can I get you?
I'd like a large coffee.
Okay, so hot coffee?
Hot coffee.
Okay. Room for cream?
Totally leave room for cream.
Why are you talking
like that?
Why are you
talking like that?
Because this is my voice.
This is my voice.
No, it's not.
I heard you talking
a minute ago.
I know you don't talk
like that.Neither do you,
because nobody
actually talks like this.
You choose
to talk like this,
and today
I chose to talk like this.
Pretty fucking annoying,
isn't it?
Why you so rude, man?
Just stop doing that.
I can't help it.
This is my voice.
No, it's not.
It's an affectation
that annoying teenagers
and rich people use to sound
like they don't give a shit,
except you work
in a coffee shop,
so I know
you're not rich,
and you don't look
like a teenager.
Unless you're
Eunice Kennedy Shriver,
knock it off.
So just 'cause
I talk like this
means I don't give a shit?
And what exactly am I supposed
to not give a shit about?
That's an excellent question
to ask yourself
in your actual voice.
Excuse me, some of us
would like to order.
Fuck everybody.
You're a total dick, man.
There! There you go.
Good.
You're talking.
Wow.
♪♪
Hey.
Hey.
Good turn out.
I was expecting to see just
Mugsy and Claire again.
Sorry, man.
We would've come earlier,
but we just didn't think
it was true
that you were
running a meeting out of
a record-store closet.
Well, I'm glad
you're here now.
How's everybody doing?
Eh. All right.
Wow. I'm... I'm...
I have chills from that wave
of excitement coming at me.
Don't forget, you guys came
and found me, all right?
So, somebody.
Please, anybody.
I'll go.
Except Claire.
Mugsy and I
have been listening
to her shit for a month.
Somebody, speak up.
Come on.
Go for it.
Are you serious?
What? I thought you got it
all out last week.
Don't you remember?
Your mom was
cheating on your dad
with the neighbor back
when you were still a lesbian.
I wasn't a lesbian.
All right, I'm sorry.
I... I... I didn't mean
lesbian per se.
I mean when
you and your lesbian
professor were, uh,
getting it on,
lesbo-style.
That doesn't
make us lesbians.
We were experimenting.
No, Marie Curie
was experimenting.
You were having gay sex,
not advancing science.
Isn't it ironical
that we're having
this conversation
in a closet?
Wait, so both of y'all
weren't lesbians?
Well, that can't be
good sex.
I mean, both of y'all
wouldn't know what
you were doing, right?
Yeah, it could be good sex
because you're working
with your own equipment.
So it takes all
the guesswork out.
Mmm-hmm.
Was it just great?
All right, I said I don't want
to spend the whole meeting
talking about Claire.
Now, seriously,
who has something to say?
I... Okay,
I have something,
but it's not necessarily
related to my issues.
Everything is related
to your issues.
Okay, h-here,
I always wondered why this guy
wouldn't change his name...
Dick Butkus.
Dick "butt kiss"?
Yeah, okay, you got it.
Why... Why do you care
if he changed his name?
I don't care.
Y-you just said
you wanted somebody
other than Claire to talk.
Dick Butkus?
Man, he had to know people
were gonna have fun with that.
He should've called himself
Richard, at least.
I don't think "butt" meant
the same thing back then.
Used to be a cigarette,
so maybe he didn't know.
Maybe he didn't care.
The guy was 6'3", 280 pounds,
could punch people
through walls.
Or maybe that's why he got
so tough, because he had to.
That doesn't make
any sense.
I mean, just because
you get picked on
doesn't mean
you're gonna grow big.
Otherwise, New Guy
would be protecting
Tom Brady's blind side.
Wonder how that mouse turd
is doing over at the church.
Okay, guys, who's up for
a little giddiness today?
Oh, one vote for giddiness
from this guy.
Make that two.
What exactly do you mean
by "giddiness"?
I mean fun, Cloud.
Fun.
I got to tell you guys,
these...
These meetings
have gotten to be
a real bummer for me.
It's all, "My kids
hate me this,"
"My brother got decapitated
in a logging accident that."
It was his own fault.
He... He should've been
wearing his harness.
Okay, doomsday.
Let it go.
These things happen.
People get their heads
chopped off.
Look, why don't we dial up
the old positivity end
of that magnet and turn
those frowns the other way?
Upside down?
Sure, whatever.
Who wants to put a little
smileage on their face car?
Hmm?
Okay, I'll go.
Cisco!
Excelente,baby.
Give it to me.
From the top.
Give it to me.
I didn't see that one coming.
Just means there's more of me
to go around, fellas.
Right?
Cloud, you okay?
Guys, it's... It's okay to
share a little sunshine,
you know?
It's fi... Gu...
I didn't mean
to burn their retinas, right?
You know
looking into the sun,
it's not good.
It hurts.
But that pain,
that's where the growth...
Springeth from.
Scientists call it
photo-senses.
I don't know
if you knew that.
You guys are doing
a buddy break?
Just a quick buddy break,
all right?
Just stay in a group
if you could.
That'd be great.
Appreciate it.
Thank you.
Oh, oh, okay, guess
I'll start.
Uh, I think you started
last time, right?
- Uh... W-Well...
- Well, yeah, but...
Oh.
I should...
I should grab this.
Uh, let's take five, okay?
Hello?
No, now's the perfect time.
No, not doing anything.
So, here's the takeaway,
all right?
You can't go on skirting
your issues.
You got to tackle them head on
like Dick Butkus did,
but you got
to know what they are.
Why would somebody who has
the power to change something
about themselves not do it?
Okay, okay,
Mugsy actually does
have a point,
because that's... That's what
we're trying to do in here.
We're trying to
change ourselves in a way
that makes our lives better,
which would be easier to do
if we weren't constantly
being interrupted
without the fucking courtesy
of a knock.
Oh, sorry, am I interrupting
your meeting with my business?
Really?
What?
We sell coffee here,
you know.
Yeah, but this coffee
doesn't taste like it
came out of a morgue drain.
Congratulations.
You're the only place
in Seattle with bad coffee.
Be cool, Loudermilk.
I'm only letting you use
this storage room
out of the goodness
of my heart.
Wasn't your lunch break
over like 10 minutes ago?
Can you really put
a time limit on recovery?
When you've only been
working here a week?
Yeah.
Get back on the floor.
Knock, knock.
You don't have to say
"knock, knock."
You can just knock.
Oh, right.
Yes?
I'll be heading out.
Already?
Yep.
Almost no one's
here, anyway.
What do you mean
almost no one?
If there's even one person
here who needs help...
It's just New Guy.
Oh.
Yeah, and you know what
it's like trying to talk
to him, right?
All right, I'll see you
Thursday, then.
Well, that's what I wanted
to talk to you about.
I have great news.
My work here is done.
What are you talking about
your work is done?
Well, the group has been
making fantastic strides.
Righteous path.
I just don't think
they need me anymore.
I'm not sure that's
actually the case.
I've been worried
about Cutter.
I think perhaps he needs
some one-on-one time.
Oh, we had one-on-one time
and a great conversation.
He told me that he was
never gonna come to
one of these meetings
ever again in his life.
So, you're leaving.
It's been a real pleasure,
but yes.
Onwards and upwards.
Are you kidding me?
I wish I was, but it's like
that song, "Brandy."
"But he always told
the truth.
Lord, he was an honest man,
and Brandy does her best
to understand."
So I'm Brandy?
Yes, and I am
the honest man.
Ah, but he had made it
clear he couldn't stay
because no harbor
was his home.
You said
you'd be docking here
for a year.
Mmm, I think you're mistaken.
Think that's a different song.
It's probably
"Ride Captain Ride," maybe.
Just leave.
Okay.
Oh, I have this for you.
Oh, yeah, have this.
This is my sharing scepter.
Holding that
allows the person
to access
his innermost thoughts.
Fuck you.
See? It worked.
Is Garret coming back?
No.
Well, I still have some stuff
I need to get off my chest.
Can I talk to you?
No.
Well, I feel at liberty
to say that's not
very good priesting.
God, I miss the days
when priests
could beat
the hell out of people.
Uh, I'm right here.
I can hear you.
Throwing change again?
Got a hole in my pocket.
Pathetic.
You know, you're really good
at convincing others
to face
their issues head-on.
How can you go around
giving that kind of advice
when you've been
ducking Allison
for nearly a month?
I'm not ducking Allison.
We just haven't been able
to connect.
Wait, you haven't
talked to her
since you boned her?
Really?
That's not cool, Loudermilk.
You know,
facing your problems
is the first step
to looking in a mirror.
Where'd you hear that?
Uh, page 16.
Oh, look at
Miss Torn Leggings,
the everything-but-fashion
expert.
What's that look called,
Corpse Bride?
Of course you'd turn
that back on me.
That's a classic example
of deflecting.
Page 22.
Look, I got a lot going on,
okay?
My ex-best friend just ran off
with my ex-wife.
I'm not looking to get into
something right away.
Jesus Christ.
Um, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, what are you doing?
No. Geez.
Loudermilk wants
to talk to you.
You can thank me later.
Yes?
Hello.
Hello.
You're not Allison.
That's right.
Are you a friend
of Allison's?
Who?
What are you doing
in there?
Cooking dinner.
Where's Allison?
I don't know Allison.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Do you live here now?
I do.
I'm Lee Fong.
Like
the Elton John song?
Okay.
How long
have you been here?
Wait here.
I'll get my papers.
No, no, no.
Just... I wanted...
H-how long since you moved
into the apartment?
A week ago.
Uh, do you have any idea
where the last tenant
moved to?
No, but
I know it was in hurry.
They left
a record player.
It was a piece of shit,
though.
Uh, can I get that
record player?
We have
a wonderful work of art...
A 1962 painting done
by Joan Neary.
This is a two-owner painting,
originally commissioned by
William Beauchene
of Newport, Rhode Island.
We are starting the bidding
at $22,000.
Loudermilk...
Hey.
...what are you
doing here?
Thinking about investing
in some art.
We have $23,000.
Yeah, I heard
you might have a good deal
on a Dana Schut.
What do you think I'm doing
here? I'm here to see you.
Please,
just keep it down.
Hey, if you wanted
to talk to me,
you could've done it
somewhere that's not my job.
Well, I'm not much
of a planner.
I'm more of
a seat-of-the-pants guy
and all that, you know?
So, how are you?
I thought that was fun
the other...
Month?
It's been a month.
It's a month
and two days.
I don't forget
anniversaries.
Okay, what do you want?
You left this.
Lee Fong... I...
Why'd you move?
Me? What about you?
You disappeared.
I was just giving you
some space.
Yeah, I called you five times.
You never called me back.
The phone
is very impersonal,
and I prefer a direct
face-to-face like this.
This isn't a good time
for me, Loudermilk.
This is a bad time
for everybody.
This Trump shit's a nightmare?
Okay, just stop it.
Can you ever be fucking real?
I thought our connection
was pretty real.
Yeah, I did, too, you know,
for a day or two,
but I was wrong.
I mean, I-I should be thanking
you for staying away.
It gave me time to think
about what I really need.
Which is?
Something solid...
A life with Carl.
Dr. Choke?
Come on.
I hate that guy.
Yeah, well, I love him.
Don't give me
that love bullshit.
If you would've loved him,
then...
Then we wouldn't have had
what we had.
Okay, w-well,
what did we have?
Well, you remember.
You were there.
I mean, I don't know
if it would've turned into
something more,
but you can't deny that...
That there was something
between us.
We were both in a bad way.
You were clearly upset
with what happened with Ben
and I wasn't sure if I wanted
to move in with Carl,
and you just seemed so...
Vulnerable.
Vulnerable?
So it was a pity fuck?
Loudermilk...
That's not a no.
Allison, I know
I should've come earlier,
but I'm here now.
Well...
It's too late,
and that'sa pity.
♪♪
♪ Green leaves are turning
and the wind's picking up
♪ Autumn reminds me
of old-fashioned stuff
♪ Out of the window
are-a green gazing eyes... ♪
So, how'd it go?
Well, I talked to Allison.
And?
She moved out.
What do you mean?
She... She moved out.
She doesn't live here
anymore.
Weird. So where
did you talk to her?
Work.
You went to her job?
That's a little psycho.
So what did you say?
I told her I was gonna shoot
President Reagan for her.
What... What does it matter?
It's over.
She's back with that
clown the doctor.
You believe that?
No way.
She's back
with the doctor?
How fucking shallow
is that?
What kind of a woman
goes with the man
who has the money,
the security,
the looks, the future,
instead of going
with the change-throwing
floor cleaner
who runs a rehab
in a record-store closet?
Look, I'm not a doctor,
but I-I-I'm...
I-I got some shit
going on.
I'm a critic with
an impeccable reputation.
I'm a published author,
for Christ sakes.
Huh?
I'm somebody-ish.
Used to be.
What?
Well, you haven't written
anything in, like, years.
So?
I could if I wanted.
Well, then do it.
Yeah, no,
it's not that easy, Claire.
Sure it is.
What's that thing they say?
Write what you know?
So, what do you know?
Well, I know music,
but I...
When I was writing
those books,
I was fucking in it.
I was drinking all the time.
I was fucked up.
I-I-I-I can't
go back there.
So you're worried that you'll
start drinking if you write
or that your writing
won't be very good
because you're not drinking.
I mean,
it might be better.
We don't know what sober
Loudermilk is capable of.
It could be amazing.
It could be, like,
the best book ever.
You could win a Grammy.
Pulitzer.
There you go.
Now you're talking.
I think you're
onto something, Claire.
This is one of those
moments, okay?
This is one of those moments
in life where you wake up,
and you don't get a lot
of these moments,
all right,
and this is one.
This is an opportunity.
I have an opportunity here.
Instead of just being
in recovery,
I have an opportunity
to actually recover, right,
and I can because
I'm a writer.
Yeah.
I know how to do this.
I just got to do it.
Huh?
And I will, because I-I-I...
Because I am sober.
I'm clearer.
I have my shit together.
I-I-I-I'm...
I'm organized.
Have you seen
my fucking computer?
♪♪
Yeah, I need a break.
♪ The sidewalk bends
where your house ends
♪ Like the neighborhood
is on its knees ♪Oh, shit.
I mean,
obviously some exceptions...
Hold on.
Hello?
Claire, it's me.
Uh, where are you?
Uh, I-I'm jamming.
I got a really good
writing flow going,
and, uh, I'm not gonna be
at the meeting tonight.
Are you serious?
People are waiting for you.
Well, you take this one.
You've been reading the book,
so you've got it.
What? I-I-I don't know
how to...
And I'm gonna be late tonight,
I think,
'cause I've got some,
you know, unfinished business
and stuff.
Uh-oh. You're not gonna try
talking to Allison again
tonight, are you?
No, no.
You think I should?
No!
Right. Me, too.
You already got
your answer, man.
Don't go back
and get hurt again.
Who... Who's hurt?
I'm not hurt.
You're repeating destructive behavior.
That is not good.
That's on page...
Hello?
♪♪
Hey, it's Allison.
I'm not here right now,
but leave a message
and I'll call you back.
Hey, it's me.
Uh, listen,
I know
my timing's not perfect,
but whose is, okay?
I'm... I'm calling 'cause
I'm trying to open up to you
and see
if we can fix this thing.
I see that you have
a lot going on,
'cause I'm standing outside
watching you
while you ignore my call.
You know what?
Forget it.
I-I think I'm...
I'm done with you for good.
Okay? For good.
All right, fuck it.
I'm coming in.
Hey.
Hey.
You've been drinking tonight?
You a cop?
No.
Then go fuck yourself.
What's that in your hand?
The fuck, bro?
No, no, no.
Hey, I-I'm saving your life,
possibly,
and don't call me "bro."
Give me my keys back,
you douchebag.
Bro's good.
No. Sorry.
I'm not gonna let you drive
your truck head-on
into a minivan
and kill a whole family.
What truck?
Isn't that your truck?
Fuck no.
I'm on the motorcycle.
Are you an organ donor?
Yeah.
Knock yourself out.
Where'd she go?
So, it's like they say.
When you got shit
in your mustache,
the whole world smells bad.
Or terrific.
"That's a good share.
How is everyone feeling
about their recovery tonight?"
Thank you, Claire-bot.
Uh, you mind
if I take over?
Please.
All right, this, uh...
It was a good turnout tonight.
I'm sorry I'm late.
I-I had some shit
to deal with.
Then I got an interesting
text from Garret.
About?
You know how
we've been talking about
the importance of change
when something's
not working for ya?
- Mmm-hmm.
- Okay.
It's just as important to keep
doing the things
that are working for ya.
This, in here,
this is not working,
all right?
We got to go back
to what was working.
We got a lot of people
in here.
We got people out there that,
God help them,
they need stability.
So what are you saying?
I'm saying let's get the band
back together
and go back to the church.
Yeah.
Fuck yeah.
Right?
I'll get my van.
Yeah, yeah, we'll...
We'll scoop everybody up.
Let's do this.
Let's hop in my van
and scoop everybody up.
I don't care if it takes
all night,
'cause we're gonna be
in the van.
I call shotgun!
Or...
Instead of going
in your stank-ass van,
we could just
text everybody.
Let's text everybody.
- Hey!
- All right.
You look like you could
use a friend, friend.
Yeah, I guess.
I can tell you're
a free thinker,
and I'm not trying to sell you
anything, except friendship.
Friendship.
Okay. What... What...
What do I do?
Do I shave my head?
Or do... Where do I get
a shirt like that?
Oh, sorry.
One... One second.
I-I'm sorry...
Sorry Mr. Manson.
I-I-I... Some other time,
thank you.
♪♪
You people got a lot of nerve
coming back here.
Hey, Padre, can I get
the bathroom key?
Don't "padre" me.
We need our room back.
And since it looks like
nobody's using it...
Nobody's using it because
you abandoned the group.
And then you stuck me
with that imbecile,
who I let
bring his cat in.
I can't get the piss smell
out of the carpet.
Wait a minute.
I stuck you?
He wouldn't exist
except for you, Loudermilk.
This isn't Loudermilk
or you, Father.
This is about us.
We need this.
If I let you have
the room back... If...
I'm doing it for them,
not for you, Loudermilk.
Here's
what's gonna happen.
Nothing.
You will show up
and leave on time.
You will keep
your voices down.
There will be no smoking,
no shirking of your duties,
and no one will be referred
to as "bingo bitches."
The profanity
will be kept in the room
and to a minimum,
because if you slip up
one time, just one time,
I swear I will
burn this church down
and join a satanic cult
before any one of you
sets foot in this place again.
So we're in, yeah?
Yeah, we're in.
All right.
And, uh, maybe just write all
that other stuff down for me,
'cause I, uh...
Can I get the keys?
Yeah.
Lock up when you're done.
Thanks, Mike.
Seriously, I'm touching
cotton here.
Thank you.
♪♪
♪♪
And, of course, you'll have
pool privileges year-round.
So, what do you think?
Well, I think
this place is gonna put
some smileage
on my face car.
Hey, do you guys
do heart hugs here?
♪ How 'bout we just
sing forever?
♪ Bring your hands
close together, baby
♪ Ah, baby
♪ Ah-ah-ah
♪ When you talk
they call you liar
♪ Sure don't know
Join the choir, baby
♪ Ah, baby
♪ Ah-ah-ah
♪ Silent movies
make more money
♪ So how 'bout
we make more money, girl?
♪ Say whoa, whoa, girl
♪ When you dance
they call you funny
♪ So how 'bout
we get real funny, girl?
♪ Say whoa, whoa, girl
♪ Oh, oh-oh
♪♪
♪♪
and I am super-duper excited
about getting you
on the road to sobriety.
Right now, she's having
trouble with her daughter.
I have a feeling that
your brand of help
may be exactly
what she needs.
You want to drink
and drug yourself
to an early grave, great.
You're doing great.
That's my number.
You want help, call it.
I need help.
And a place to stay.
That ain't happening.
As your sponsor
and your only friend,
you really make it hard
for people to like you.
I'm Allison.
I just moved into 2C.
Sam, 2B...
Or not 2B.
Show that you can be
a good guy,
you'll win some points
with Allison.
You think?
Yeah.
Where the hell is Loudermilk?
Oh, I'm in charge.
You ran out of second chances
five chances ago!
Don't bother
coming back here!
Loudermilk is no longer
your group leader.
Please welcome
Garret Mason-Burke.
Great evening,
everybrainy!
Where's Ben?
Ben's moved on.
Uh, who are you again?
I'm Carl,
Allison's boyfriend.
Your boyfriend
is a coward.
'Cause he's got you moving
near him,
but he doesn't have you
moving in with him.
♪♪
When you know it's time to make a change,
we have a place for you...
Hideaway Hills.
A calm, inviting place,
where you can get back
to being the you
you used to be.
Hideaway Hills.
Our drug-and-alcohol
treatment programs
are start-of-the-art,
designed to take the pain
out of healing.
Contact us
about payment plans,
because your recovery
is worth it.
Payment plans.
Find yourself
at Hideaway Hills.
Stop looking for the answers.
Let us find them for you.
Hideaway Hills.
What a load of horseshit.
♪♪
What can I get you?
I'd like a large coffee.
Okay, so hot coffee?
Hot coffee.
Okay. Room for cream?
Totally leave room for cream.
Why are you talking
like that?
Why are you
talking like that?
Because this is my voice.
This is my voice.
No, it's not.
I heard you talking
a minute ago.
I know you don't talk
like that.Neither do you,
because nobody
actually talks like this.
You choose
to talk like this,
and today
I chose to talk like this.
Pretty fucking annoying,
isn't it?
Why you so rude, man?
Just stop doing that.
I can't help it.
This is my voice.
No, it's not.
It's an affectation
that annoying teenagers
and rich people use to sound
like they don't give a shit,
except you work
in a coffee shop,
so I know
you're not rich,
and you don't look
like a teenager.
Unless you're
Eunice Kennedy Shriver,
knock it off.
So just 'cause
I talk like this
means I don't give a shit?
And what exactly am I supposed
to not give a shit about?
That's an excellent question
to ask yourself
in your actual voice.
Excuse me, some of us
would like to order.
Fuck everybody.
You're a total dick, man.
There! There you go.
Good.
You're talking.
Wow.
♪♪
Hey.
Hey.
Good turn out.
I was expecting to see just
Mugsy and Claire again.
Sorry, man.
We would've come earlier,
but we just didn't think
it was true
that you were
running a meeting out of
a record-store closet.
Well, I'm glad
you're here now.
How's everybody doing?
Eh. All right.
Wow. I'm... I'm...
I have chills from that wave
of excitement coming at me.
Don't forget, you guys came
and found me, all right?
So, somebody.
Please, anybody.
I'll go.
Except Claire.
Mugsy and I
have been listening
to her shit for a month.
Somebody, speak up.
Come on.
Go for it.
Are you serious?
What? I thought you got it
all out last week.
Don't you remember?
Your mom was
cheating on your dad
with the neighbor back
when you were still a lesbian.
I wasn't a lesbian.
All right, I'm sorry.
I... I... I didn't mean
lesbian per se.
I mean when
you and your lesbian
professor were, uh,
getting it on,
lesbo-style.
That doesn't
make us lesbians.
We were experimenting.
No, Marie Curie
was experimenting.
You were having gay sex,
not advancing science.
Isn't it ironical
that we're having
this conversation
in a closet?
Wait, so both of y'all
weren't lesbians?
Well, that can't be
good sex.
I mean, both of y'all
wouldn't know what
you were doing, right?
Yeah, it could be good sex
because you're working
with your own equipment.
So it takes all
the guesswork out.
Mmm-hmm.
Was it just great?
All right, I said I don't want
to spend the whole meeting
talking about Claire.
Now, seriously,
who has something to say?
I... Okay,
I have something,
but it's not necessarily
related to my issues.
Everything is related
to your issues.
Okay, h-here,
I always wondered why this guy
wouldn't change his name...
Dick Butkus.
Dick "butt kiss"?
Yeah, okay, you got it.
Why... Why do you care
if he changed his name?
I don't care.
Y-you just said
you wanted somebody
other than Claire to talk.
Dick Butkus?
Man, he had to know people
were gonna have fun with that.
He should've called himself
Richard, at least.
I don't think "butt" meant
the same thing back then.
Used to be a cigarette,
so maybe he didn't know.
Maybe he didn't care.
The guy was 6'3", 280 pounds,
could punch people
through walls.
Or maybe that's why he got
so tough, because he had to.
That doesn't make
any sense.
I mean, just because
you get picked on
doesn't mean
you're gonna grow big.
Otherwise, New Guy
would be protecting
Tom Brady's blind side.
Wonder how that mouse turd
is doing over at the church.
Okay, guys, who's up for
a little giddiness today?
Oh, one vote for giddiness
from this guy.
Make that two.
What exactly do you mean
by "giddiness"?
I mean fun, Cloud.
Fun.
I got to tell you guys,
these...
These meetings
have gotten to be
a real bummer for me.
It's all, "My kids
hate me this,"
"My brother got decapitated
in a logging accident that."
It was his own fault.
He... He should've been
wearing his harness.
Okay, doomsday.
Let it go.
These things happen.
People get their heads
chopped off.
Look, why don't we dial up
the old positivity end
of that magnet and turn
those frowns the other way?
Upside down?
Sure, whatever.
Who wants to put a little
smileage on their face car?
Hmm?
Okay, I'll go.
Cisco!
Excelente,baby.
Give it to me.
From the top.
Give it to me.
I didn't see that one coming.
Just means there's more of me
to go around, fellas.
Right?
Cloud, you okay?
Guys, it's... It's okay to
share a little sunshine,
you know?
It's fi... Gu...
I didn't mean
to burn their retinas, right?
You know
looking into the sun,
it's not good.
It hurts.
But that pain,
that's where the growth...
Springeth from.
Scientists call it
photo-senses.
I don't know
if you knew that.
You guys are doing
a buddy break?
Just a quick buddy break,
all right?
Just stay in a group
if you could.
That'd be great.
Appreciate it.
Thank you.
Oh, oh, okay, guess
I'll start.
Uh, I think you started
last time, right?
- Uh... W-Well...
- Well, yeah, but...
Oh.
I should...
I should grab this.
Uh, let's take five, okay?
Hello?
No, now's the perfect time.
No, not doing anything.
So, here's the takeaway,
all right?
You can't go on skirting
your issues.
You got to tackle them head on
like Dick Butkus did,
but you got
to know what they are.
Why would somebody who has
the power to change something
about themselves not do it?
Okay, okay,
Mugsy actually does
have a point,
because that's... That's what
we're trying to do in here.
We're trying to
change ourselves in a way
that makes our lives better,
which would be easier to do
if we weren't constantly
being interrupted
without the fucking courtesy
of a knock.
Oh, sorry, am I interrupting
your meeting with my business?
Really?
What?
We sell coffee here,
you know.
Yeah, but this coffee
doesn't taste like it
came out of a morgue drain.
Congratulations.
You're the only place
in Seattle with bad coffee.
Be cool, Loudermilk.
I'm only letting you use
this storage room
out of the goodness
of my heart.
Wasn't your lunch break
over like 10 minutes ago?
Can you really put
a time limit on recovery?
When you've only been
working here a week?
Yeah.
Get back on the floor.
Knock, knock.
You don't have to say
"knock, knock."
You can just knock.
Oh, right.
Yes?
I'll be heading out.
Already?
Yep.
Almost no one's
here, anyway.
What do you mean
almost no one?
If there's even one person
here who needs help...
It's just New Guy.
Oh.
Yeah, and you know what
it's like trying to talk
to him, right?
All right, I'll see you
Thursday, then.
Well, that's what I wanted
to talk to you about.
I have great news.
My work here is done.
What are you talking about
your work is done?
Well, the group has been
making fantastic strides.
Righteous path.
I just don't think
they need me anymore.
I'm not sure that's
actually the case.
I've been worried
about Cutter.
I think perhaps he needs
some one-on-one time.
Oh, we had one-on-one time
and a great conversation.
He told me that he was
never gonna come to
one of these meetings
ever again in his life.
So, you're leaving.
It's been a real pleasure,
but yes.
Onwards and upwards.
Are you kidding me?
I wish I was, but it's like
that song, "Brandy."
"But he always told
the truth.
Lord, he was an honest man,
and Brandy does her best
to understand."
So I'm Brandy?
Yes, and I am
the honest man.
Ah, but he had made it
clear he couldn't stay
because no harbor
was his home.
You said
you'd be docking here
for a year.
Mmm, I think you're mistaken.
Think that's a different song.
It's probably
"Ride Captain Ride," maybe.
Just leave.
Okay.
Oh, I have this for you.
Oh, yeah, have this.
This is my sharing scepter.
Holding that
allows the person
to access
his innermost thoughts.
Fuck you.
See? It worked.
Is Garret coming back?
No.
Well, I still have some stuff
I need to get off my chest.
Can I talk to you?
No.
Well, I feel at liberty
to say that's not
very good priesting.
God, I miss the days
when priests
could beat
the hell out of people.
Uh, I'm right here.
I can hear you.
Throwing change again?
Got a hole in my pocket.
Pathetic.
You know, you're really good
at convincing others
to face
their issues head-on.
How can you go around
giving that kind of advice
when you've been
ducking Allison
for nearly a month?
I'm not ducking Allison.
We just haven't been able
to connect.
Wait, you haven't
talked to her
since you boned her?
Really?
That's not cool, Loudermilk.
You know,
facing your problems
is the first step
to looking in a mirror.
Where'd you hear that?
Uh, page 16.
Oh, look at
Miss Torn Leggings,
the everything-but-fashion
expert.
What's that look called,
Corpse Bride?
Of course you'd turn
that back on me.
That's a classic example
of deflecting.
Page 22.
Look, I got a lot going on,
okay?
My ex-best friend just ran off
with my ex-wife.
I'm not looking to get into
something right away.
Jesus Christ.
Um, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, what are you doing?
No. Geez.
Loudermilk wants
to talk to you.
You can thank me later.
Yes?
Hello.
Hello.
You're not Allison.
That's right.
Are you a friend
of Allison's?
Who?
What are you doing
in there?
Cooking dinner.
Where's Allison?
I don't know Allison.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Do you live here now?
I do.
I'm Lee Fong.
Like
the Elton John song?
Okay.
How long
have you been here?
Wait here.
I'll get my papers.
No, no, no.
Just... I wanted...
H-how long since you moved
into the apartment?
A week ago.
Uh, do you have any idea
where the last tenant
moved to?
No, but
I know it was in hurry.
They left
a record player.
It was a piece of shit,
though.
Uh, can I get that
record player?
We have
a wonderful work of art...
A 1962 painting done
by Joan Neary.
This is a two-owner painting,
originally commissioned by
William Beauchene
of Newport, Rhode Island.
We are starting the bidding
at $22,000.
Loudermilk...
Hey.
...what are you
doing here?
Thinking about investing
in some art.
We have $23,000.
Yeah, I heard
you might have a good deal
on a Dana Schut.
What do you think I'm doing
here? I'm here to see you.
Please,
just keep it down.
Hey, if you wanted
to talk to me,
you could've done it
somewhere that's not my job.
Well, I'm not much
of a planner.
I'm more of
a seat-of-the-pants guy
and all that, you know?
So, how are you?
I thought that was fun
the other...
Month?
It's been a month.
It's a month
and two days.
I don't forget
anniversaries.
Okay, what do you want?
You left this.
Lee Fong... I...
Why'd you move?
Me? What about you?
You disappeared.
I was just giving you
some space.
Yeah, I called you five times.
You never called me back.
The phone
is very impersonal,
and I prefer a direct
face-to-face like this.
This isn't a good time
for me, Loudermilk.
This is a bad time
for everybody.
This Trump shit's a nightmare?
Okay, just stop it.
Can you ever be fucking real?
I thought our connection
was pretty real.
Yeah, I did, too, you know,
for a day or two,
but I was wrong.
I mean, I-I should be thanking
you for staying away.
It gave me time to think
about what I really need.
Which is?
Something solid...
A life with Carl.
Dr. Choke?
Come on.
I hate that guy.
Yeah, well, I love him.
Don't give me
that love bullshit.
If you would've loved him,
then...
Then we wouldn't have had
what we had.
Okay, w-well,
what did we have?
Well, you remember.
You were there.
I mean, I don't know
if it would've turned into
something more,
but you can't deny that...
That there was something
between us.
We were both in a bad way.
You were clearly upset
with what happened with Ben
and I wasn't sure if I wanted
to move in with Carl,
and you just seemed so...
Vulnerable.
Vulnerable?
So it was a pity fuck?
Loudermilk...
That's not a no.
Allison, I know
I should've come earlier,
but I'm here now.
Well...
It's too late,
and that'sa pity.
♪♪
♪ Green leaves are turning
and the wind's picking up
♪ Autumn reminds me
of old-fashioned stuff
♪ Out of the window
are-a green gazing eyes... ♪
So, how'd it go?
Well, I talked to Allison.
And?
She moved out.
What do you mean?
She... She moved out.
She doesn't live here
anymore.
Weird. So where
did you talk to her?
Work.
You went to her job?
That's a little psycho.
So what did you say?
I told her I was gonna shoot
President Reagan for her.
What... What does it matter?
It's over.
She's back with that
clown the doctor.
You believe that?
No way.
She's back
with the doctor?
How fucking shallow
is that?
What kind of a woman
goes with the man
who has the money,
the security,
the looks, the future,
instead of going
with the change-throwing
floor cleaner
who runs a rehab
in a record-store closet?
Look, I'm not a doctor,
but I-I-I'm...
I-I got some shit
going on.
I'm a critic with
an impeccable reputation.
I'm a published author,
for Christ sakes.
Huh?
I'm somebody-ish.
Used to be.
What?
Well, you haven't written
anything in, like, years.
So?
I could if I wanted.
Well, then do it.
Yeah, no,
it's not that easy, Claire.
Sure it is.
What's that thing they say?
Write what you know?
So, what do you know?
Well, I know music,
but I...
When I was writing
those books,
I was fucking in it.
I was drinking all the time.
I was fucked up.
I-I-I-I can't
go back there.
So you're worried that you'll
start drinking if you write
or that your writing
won't be very good
because you're not drinking.
I mean,
it might be better.
We don't know what sober
Loudermilk is capable of.
It could be amazing.
It could be, like,
the best book ever.
You could win a Grammy.
Pulitzer.
There you go.
Now you're talking.
I think you're
onto something, Claire.
This is one of those
moments, okay?
This is one of those moments
in life where you wake up,
and you don't get a lot
of these moments,
all right,
and this is one.
This is an opportunity.
I have an opportunity here.
Instead of just being
in recovery,
I have an opportunity
to actually recover, right,
and I can because
I'm a writer.
Yeah.
I know how to do this.
I just got to do it.
Huh?
And I will, because I-I-I...
Because I am sober.
I'm clearer.
I have my shit together.
I-I-I-I'm...
I'm organized.
Have you seen
my fucking computer?
♪♪
Yeah, I need a break.
♪ The sidewalk bends
where your house ends
♪ Like the neighborhood
is on its knees ♪Oh, shit.
I mean,
obviously some exceptions...
Hold on.
Hello?
Claire, it's me.
Uh, where are you?
Uh, I-I'm jamming.
I got a really good
writing flow going,
and, uh, I'm not gonna be
at the meeting tonight.
Are you serious?
People are waiting for you.
Well, you take this one.
You've been reading the book,
so you've got it.
What? I-I-I don't know
how to...
And I'm gonna be late tonight,
I think,
'cause I've got some,
you know, unfinished business
and stuff.
Uh-oh. You're not gonna try
talking to Allison again
tonight, are you?
No, no.
You think I should?
No!
Right. Me, too.
You already got
your answer, man.
Don't go back
and get hurt again.
Who... Who's hurt?
I'm not hurt.
You're repeating destructive behavior.
That is not good.
That's on page...
Hello?
♪♪
Hey, it's Allison.
I'm not here right now,
but leave a message
and I'll call you back.
Hey, it's me.
Uh, listen,
I know
my timing's not perfect,
but whose is, okay?
I'm... I'm calling 'cause
I'm trying to open up to you
and see
if we can fix this thing.
I see that you have
a lot going on,
'cause I'm standing outside
watching you
while you ignore my call.
You know what?
Forget it.
I-I think I'm...
I'm done with you for good.
Okay? For good.
All right, fuck it.
I'm coming in.
Hey.
Hey.
You've been drinking tonight?
You a cop?
No.
Then go fuck yourself.
What's that in your hand?
The fuck, bro?
No, no, no.
Hey, I-I'm saving your life,
possibly,
and don't call me "bro."
Give me my keys back,
you douchebag.
Bro's good.
No. Sorry.
I'm not gonna let you drive
your truck head-on
into a minivan
and kill a whole family.
What truck?
Isn't that your truck?
Fuck no.
I'm on the motorcycle.
Are you an organ donor?
Yeah.
Knock yourself out.
Where'd she go?
So, it's like they say.
When you got shit
in your mustache,
the whole world smells bad.
Or terrific.
"That's a good share.
How is everyone feeling
about their recovery tonight?"
Thank you, Claire-bot.
Uh, you mind
if I take over?
Please.
All right, this, uh...
It was a good turnout tonight.
I'm sorry I'm late.
I-I had some shit
to deal with.
Then I got an interesting
text from Garret.
About?
You know how
we've been talking about
the importance of change
when something's
not working for ya?
- Mmm-hmm.
- Okay.
It's just as important to keep
doing the things
that are working for ya.
This, in here,
this is not working,
all right?
We got to go back
to what was working.
We got a lot of people
in here.
We got people out there that,
God help them,
they need stability.
So what are you saying?
I'm saying let's get the band
back together
and go back to the church.
Yeah.
Fuck yeah.
Right?
I'll get my van.
Yeah, yeah, we'll...
We'll scoop everybody up.
Let's do this.
Let's hop in my van
and scoop everybody up.
I don't care if it takes
all night,
'cause we're gonna be
in the van.
I call shotgun!
Or...
Instead of going
in your stank-ass van,
we could just
text everybody.
Let's text everybody.
- Hey!
- All right.
You look like you could
use a friend, friend.
Yeah, I guess.
I can tell you're
a free thinker,
and I'm not trying to sell you
anything, except friendship.
Friendship.
Okay. What... What...
What do I do?
Do I shave my head?
Or do... Where do I get
a shirt like that?
Oh, sorry.
One... One second.
I-I'm sorry...
Sorry Mr. Manson.
I-I-I... Some other time,
thank you.
♪♪
You people got a lot of nerve
coming back here.
Hey, Padre, can I get
the bathroom key?
Don't "padre" me.
We need our room back.
And since it looks like
nobody's using it...
Nobody's using it because
you abandoned the group.
And then you stuck me
with that imbecile,
who I let
bring his cat in.
I can't get the piss smell
out of the carpet.
Wait a minute.
I stuck you?
He wouldn't exist
except for you, Loudermilk.
This isn't Loudermilk
or you, Father.
This is about us.
We need this.
If I let you have
the room back... If...
I'm doing it for them,
not for you, Loudermilk.
Here's
what's gonna happen.
Nothing.
You will show up
and leave on time.
You will keep
your voices down.
There will be no smoking,
no shirking of your duties,
and no one will be referred
to as "bingo bitches."
The profanity
will be kept in the room
and to a minimum,
because if you slip up
one time, just one time,
I swear I will
burn this church down
and join a satanic cult
before any one of you
sets foot in this place again.
So we're in, yeah?
Yeah, we're in.
All right.
And, uh, maybe just write all
that other stuff down for me,
'cause I, uh...
Can I get the keys?
Yeah.
Lock up when you're done.
Thanks, Mike.
Seriously, I'm touching
cotton here.
Thank you.
♪♪
♪♪
And, of course, you'll have
pool privileges year-round.
So, what do you think?
Well, I think
this place is gonna put
some smileage
on my face car.
Hey, do you guys
do heart hugs here?
♪ How 'bout we just
sing forever?
♪ Bring your hands
close together, baby
♪ Ah, baby
♪ Ah-ah-ah
♪ When you talk
they call you liar
♪ Sure don't know
Join the choir, baby
♪ Ah, baby
♪ Ah-ah-ah
♪ Silent movies
make more money
♪ So how 'bout
we make more money, girl?
♪ Say whoa, whoa, girl
♪ When you dance
they call you funny
♪ So how 'bout
we get real funny, girl?
♪ Say whoa, whoa, girl
♪ Oh, oh-oh
♪♪
♪♪