Lost in Oz (2015–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pilot - full transcript

Rise and shine, kiddo.

I'm up.

The bus'll be here in 20.

Some help here, Toto.


Sell out.

I'm serious, Dorothy.
I can't take you to school today.

I'm on it, Mom.
I fixed it up last night...

No. No machines, no shortcuts.

Just keep it simple today.


I need to fix that.

Yes. Later.

Now, get to school.

Ugh! Mom!

Bye, Dorothy. Love you.

Love you, too.

Right there.




I'm gonna miss the bus.




What is this?

There's nothing in here.


Yeah. I'm trying.

"You must actually say 'Go Forth.'"



Toto, get back here.

What up, Kanzaniacs!

Hey, it's another beautiful
morning out there.

Oh, this just in. Storm watch.

You're still home? Dorothy.

The house is flying!


Ahh! I found this book!

Tell me you didn't say "Go Forth"?

Mom, what's happening?

Of course, you did. How could you not.

Okay, listen. Where's the book?

- Okay, I got it.
- Find the map.


- Found it!
- Good. Now, listen carefully.

When you land in Emerald City...

Tell me how to make it stop.

You can't stop it, Dorothy.

You are going to Oz.

Oz? What is Oz?

Listen to me. Use the map,

find the Yellow Brick Line,

and take it to 41st and Infinity.

- What are you talking about?
- You can do this, Dorothy.

Do what?

I am in a tornado.

Get back to me, Dorothy.

Yellow Line. 41st and Infinity.

Find your way home!


I know it's been a long time,

but I really need your help.


Come on, Toto.

Freeze right there!


Bureau of Magic.

You're coming with me.


Wait. How did you...

How did we...

Weren't you just...

You just flew into Emerald City

on an unauthorized
inter-kingdom tornado.

Where'd you get the magic?

I don't know anything about magic.

All I want is to take my home back home.

Open your eyes, Futz!

Uh, it's Fitz, sir.

Uh, sorry.

Hey, what is that?

That's how we got here.

No way!

I haven't seen one of
these since I was a kid.

There used to be so
much magic around here

they'd use it to jazz up lunch boxes,

jean jackets, scrap books like this.

You know, this would be worth
something in good condition.

Can it still get me home?

And here I thought you
were a criminal mastermind.

Inter-kingdom travel

requires a combination of every
magical element on the periodic table.

Mm, this one's empty.

So I need every magical element.

Wait, what's a magical element?

Quit getting her hopes up.

We're in the middle of the worst

magic crime wave in eons.

Oh, there's always magic out there,

if you know where to look.

Enjoy Emerald City, Miss Gale.

Or at least get used to it.

You're not goin' anywhere.


We are not in Kansas anymore.

Okay, find the Yellow Brick Line.

Now what?

Oh, now you strike me as an expert

when it comes to magic.

Um, excuse me.

Woo, woo, slow down there.

I'm not gonna bite.

See? No teeth.

I thought there was a magic crisis?

That's right, you are very observative.

Supply is down and
business is up, up, up,

making it a true stoke of luck
that you found me when you did.

What do they do?

Ooh, future, past, present.

Taller, shorter, meaner, nicer.

That right there is a
genuine echo jar...

...from the hills of Quadling Country.

Which one makes you bug off?

Ah-ha! A cynic. I welcome the challenge.

Keep an amphibian honest and
you keep the industry honest.

Real magic doesn't need batteries.

Well, how about you keep that and uh...

we just keep
this to ourselves.

You can't just listen to anyone
on the street here, Dorothy.

Whoa. How do you know my name?

Your mom called my mom,

and then my mom totally
jacked my entire day,

and made me come look for you.


found you.

Wait, our moms know each other?

I was supposed to take the
Yellow Line to an address.

Yeah. Mine.

Try to keep up, Dorothy.

Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig...

Wait. You're taking me to school?

No, I should be finding my way home.

Okay, one:

my life doesn't start and stop for you.

Go. Do whatever you want to do.

I was told to find you,
not restrain you.

- And three...
- Ahh!

Uh, anyone else breathe fire
that I should be aware of?

Hey, West, who's your friend?

I don't vouch for her.

Don't worry, Toto. I'll get us home.

Where's home?

Um, Kansas.

Whoa. Sounds exotic.

I've never met anyone from Kansas.

- I'm Ojo.
- I'm Dorothy.

That's Toto.

So, what do you eat in Kansas?

- Corn.
- That's messed up.

My neighbors are corn.

So, Ojo, if there's, like,
this huge magic shortage,

then how is West doing that?

My magic could take on any one of yours

in a fair fight.

There are over 100 different
known magical elements in Oz.

And I need one of each to get home.

Tell me everything you know.

Okay. On the outer levels,
you have your basic gases,

plasmas, metals, non-metals,
dark matter, doesn't matter, and so on.

There's magic you're born with...

You wish you were born with it.

And then there are top shelf elements.

hyper-gravitationals, telekinetics,

the kind of magic you just can't
pick up at the corner alchemist.

And then there's Ozonium.

The rarest magic in Oz.

Awesome. Where do I get that?

You know, Dorothy,
there are way worse places

to be stuck for the rest of your life.

Man, she's pretty upset, huh?

It's physically impossible to not smile

when you eat the kaplooeylooey fruit.

My entire life has been uprooted,

but I'm sure a piece of fruit...

Thanks, West.

You're welcome.

Look out!


Toto, no!

Let... me... go!

Toto. Drop him.


I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

Does it hurt?

No. But it's terribly inconvenient.

If you'd just hold still I can fix it.

I've lost a leg before,
I'll find another.

Please, help me.

I know how to find the missing magic.

They're coming.


What are you doing?

Just stay cool.

Some help here, Toto.

Meet me back here tonight

when the sun dips below the Lookout.

And bring the box.

Magic to the people!

What box?

It's a whistle lock.

Yeah, right. It's a total knockoff.


Whoa. What is it?

It can't be.

It's impossible.

But then again,
I've never seen it in person.

Hello? What do you guys
think it is? Or isn't?


You mean the center of the
periodic table Ozonium?

Impossible to get Ozonium?

The biggest step in
getting me home Ozonium?

You still have your Ozzopotomus?

Don't judge, Munchkin.

You're a Munchkin?

I'm big for my age.

- Nothing happened.
- Dorothy!


Please tell me that was real magic.

Um, yeah, that's the
real deal, all right.

This changes everything.


- Hey!
- I don't know about you two,

but I'm just fine not
having a box full of magic

that has started more than one war.

That's my ticket home.

Pucker up and whistle, Munchkin.


A witch could witch her entire life,

and never see more than
a grain of Ozonium.

And I've got a whole box.

The monkeys were after that box.

We keep it, they're coming after us.

Those monkeys have no idea who we are.


Help me!

Hold on, West. We'll find you.

We'll never find her.

Then we need to find that doll.

You lost it!

That box is the key to everything.

I left it with you to keep it safe.

Well, the monkeys took it,
and they took our friend.

So where is West?

Where is West. This is
bigger than your friend!

We're talking about all the
missing magic of Emerald City.

And he is the only one who
knows where to find it.

You were gonna use the Ozonium

to bring the Lookout back to life.

That was the plan,

until somebody's dog ripped off my leg!

A statue knows where the magic is?

It's not a statue.

That is the guardian of Emerald City.

The Lookout sees everything.

When the crooked magician
stole his magic,

and turned him to stone,

there was no one left to protect us.



Let. Me. Down!


You're sure he knows where to find West?

We don't call him the
Lookout for nothing.

Let's hope one's enough.

I'd like to see those witches

gang up on me now.

Not bad.


Not bad at all.

You're a natural.

Here. Let me show you something.

- Dude.
- Right?

You know, we could make a good team.

With my resources and your raw talent,

we can do some serious damage.

The Lookout!



We need to work on your focus.




Go after your friend. We'll cover you.




Toto! Don't let go.



What are all these
statues doing down here?

They aren't statues.

Their magic was stolen.
They were turned to stone.

Just like the Lookout.

We just found the missing
magic of Emerald City.


You woke the Lookout?

The only one who could find me.

Do you have any idea how hard it is

to get a decent secret lair around here?

And I tried to help you.

- Fitz?
- You know this guy?

That's what I get for
being nice to a tourist.

Let's go, West.


I hope you get home, Dorothy.

You don't belong here.

Oh, they're not going anywhere.

Though I'll hardly get any
magic out of a Munchkin,

and a Dorothy.


This isn't me.

I won't let you do this.

You can't turn them into statues.

Oh, can't I? Excuse me.

Does anyone here think that I
can't turn them into statues?


Anyone?! What?

You got nothin' to say
because you don't talk!

Pucker up and whistle, Ojo.

Because you're statues.

- Because I turned you into...
- Let me guess.

- What?
- Statues?

Let's see what magic
I can get out of you!


Hold on, Toto.


Three of you, but only two crystals.

Oh, that's right.

You're not magic.

But your friends sure were.

Look at this Ozonium.

West had some serious witch potential.

I think I'll...

keep it in my new box.

You're right, Futz. I'm not magic.

And neither is this.



Good luck getting home now!

All that magic.

Dorothy, come on.

Let's get out of here.


I guess I lost myself
there for a minute.

Found you.

Magic to the people!

Hey, West!

Look at this.

That's my mom.

And that must be your mom.

Yeah, that's her all right.

But who's that?

Wait a second.

She looks exactly like her.

That's Glinda the Good.

If anyone can get you home, she can.

So let's go find Glinda.