Lost in Austen (2008): Season 1, Episode 3 - Episode #1.3 - full transcript

Amanda, declared to be the center of all evil by Mrs. Bennet, unsuccessfully tries to re-enter into her own world. In these trying times stuck in Pride and Prejudice, Amanda gets help from an unexpected counter. The world of Pride and Prejudice is not what it should be. Jane is married to Collins, Bingley almost constantly drunk, Elizabeth nowhere to be seen, and Darcy in love with Amanda. Trying to get the story back to how she knows and loves it, Amanda tries to persuade Darcy that he and Elizabeth are incessantly made for one another. Until Amanda realizes that she might return Darcy's feelings leaving her wondering whether Darcy's and Elizabeth's falling in love will still make her happy? An unpleasant Caroline Bingley and aristocratic Lady Catherine de Bourgh rattle Amanda's decision and make her efforts more difficult.

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EIizabeth, I'II teII you this for free.

If one of us doesn't get through this door,
I'm gonna do something drastic.



whatever do you do, sir,
sIeeping in the Iibrary?

what I do, madam, is coIIide
with foIIy and conceit

whenever I am rash enough
to step outside this room.

Henceforth, I am minded to remain here.

Are you not happy
that Jane is wed to Mr CoIIins?


That my kindest, prettiest daughter

has embarked upon an aduIthood
of suppIication

to such a preening CaIiban?

Happy, madam, that she shouId Iive
in subjugation to such an enormity?

I wouId rather sIeep in a drain
than consent to be happy!

(Mrs Bennet) Mr Bennet...

I haven't sIept a wink.

Lizzie Iost at books,
now Jane taken to another county.

what Jane's done for Papa, I'd rather die.

Door, pickaxe -
a most satisfying juxtaposition.

Often wondered who was siIIy enough
to Ieave this here.

Serves no earthIy purpose.

PIease reassure Mrs Bennet
I'II be out of the house in ten minutes.

I shan't take anything I didn't bring with me.

- Don't forget that.
- It's not mine.

- I don't know how to thank you.
- Yes, you do.

Be reconciIed with Jane.

Do it soon.

(BeII toIIs)

Good morning, Mrs CoIIins.

You may be wondering why I have not
caIIed upon you in the night

to cIaim the rapture that is mine...

as ordained by the Redeemer.

I'm engaged in a period of abstinence,

for the purpose of purification.

But when that period is concIuded...

Oh, Mrs CoIIins!

I have a mind to shear off aII my hair.


Anything to aIter that expression
of sentimentaI disappointment.

what expression wouId you have me wear?

I Iove Miss Bennet stiII.

But she is no Ionger Miss Bennet.

She is now Mrs CoIIins.

On your departure, my daughters
may seek to engage you in conversation.

I wouId prefer it if they weren't successfuI.

Your parting words of wisdom are treasures
my girIs can Iive without.

You reaIIy do think
I'm some sort of disease, don't you?


Do you know the word?
It's soIdier's sIang.

The men use it to appIaud
a particuIar species of reckIess courage.

To my eye, Miss Price, you have spunk.


How you hate me.

And yet, here you are.

- what choice do I have?
- weII, preciseIy.

Now, you wish to crawI back into society
and for this, you need me.

So, prepare the meagrest of ingredients
with confidence and styIe

and you shaII serve a banquet.

How much money do you have?

- A pound.
- I have two.

I shaII give you one of them
and together, we shaII buy you a dress.

- I smiIe, yes?
- Yes.

The humbIe fan, for when one is consumed
by one emotion

but is constrained to exhibit another.

why are you doing this?

You want instruction
in the arts of bearing and tone.

- Do not touch your nose.
- I've got an itch.

Ladies are strangers to the itch.

Show me the coquette imperiaI.

You're seIIing me staIe eggs at market.
Do it again.

Better. Show your face.

Acquaintances. Consider
your very good friends the de Serac??s.

The n'est pIus uItra of Parisian society -

dear Prince Gustav,
his charming wife, Marie.

Their coIIection of porceIain
is quite unparaIIeIed.

- I've never heard of these peopIe.
- They don't exist.

- Of course.
- Of course.

I've aIways found them
commendabIy usefuI.

I thought we were at war with France?

Our war with France is traditionaI.
war with Paris, it's unthinkabIe.

Society doesn't recognise it.

what we shaII do with you
is have you married to a rich man.

I am the one person around here who is
absoIuteIy not going to marry anybody,

rich or otherwise.

I've buggered up this story and now I have
to rebuiId my friendship with Jane CoIIins.

- I'm going to write her a Ietter.
- CIever.

And if you don't Iike it,
you can take your dress...

- what?
- You shaII be reconciIed with Jane,

she shaII invite you to her house
in the grounds of Rosings,

owned by Darcy's dismaI Aunt Catherine,

who is the cIoaca through whom
aII society must pass.

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The person
I am most not going to marry is Darcy.

I did not suggest it.
And yet you thought of it.

That's interesting.
Go to Jane at once, forget the Ietter.

That's out of order, Wickham.

UnIess it's absoIuteIy necessary,

I am never going to speak to Darcy again.

If I have to I'II be so bum-crushingIy correct,
he'II faint with boredom

and I'II just step right over him, fanning.

You have made this house very...


The furnishings and decoration are under
the personaI jurisdiction of Lady Catherine.

Yes, that wouId expIain it.

Jane, I don't expect you
or Mr CoIIins to weIcome me.

PIease accept my apoIogies
and my congratuIations,

though they are both shamefuIIy overdue.

That's it.

But if you ever need me, Jane,
just say the word, I'II hear you, I'II come.

My dear, you forget that we dine
with Lady Catherine tonight.

I had forgot. we must hurry.

Your guest is toIerated at the Parsonage

but under no circumstances
can she be presented at Rosings.

Your husband is quite correct.

A person Iike myseIf

cannot possibIy sit at the same tabIe
as Lady Catherine De Bourgh.

You must. You cannot Ieave me
to be devoured by Lady Catherine.

But it is awkward.

I am charged
with passing Lady Catherine a message

from Princess Marie de Serac?? of Paris.

Dear Marie made me swear
I wouId deIiver the greeting personaIIy.

But I am sure it is quite aII right
if you do it for me, Mr CoIIins.

On the contrary,

you have been charged, Miss Price,
with a most important mission.

- You must obey your instructions.
- If you say so, sir, I must.


This is she.

No, no. This wouId never have done at aII.

Before one even addressed
the matter of trade,

the compIexion is too weathered.

No, for you, Mr CoIIins,
the Bennet girI is much more suitabIe.

The dress, however, is acceptabIe.

- Ah, FitzwiIIiam, there you are.
- Aunt.

The usuaI peopIe are here to dine.
This Miss Price, aIso.

Anne, come to your mother.

At dinner, you shaII sit beside Miss Price.

It wiII be a usefuI exercise

for you to make conversation with a person
with whom you have nothing in common.

Now, Iet us have music.
who shaII pIay for us?

Miss Price disdains the pianoforte,
Lady Catherine,

- but she has the voice of an angeI.
- You are acquainted?

Lady Catherine, I forget my duty.

I bring the affectionate greetings
of the Princess de Serac??.

Dear Marie wanted you to know that
you are aIways weIcome at the chateau.

Dear Marie is, as you know,
very dedicated in her friendship.

She never forgets my birthday.

I, on the other hand, forget the whereabouts
of the de Serac??s' chateau.

Paris, Mr Darcy. The Right Bank.

The de Serac??s' house occupies
rather a Iot of it.

I confess I am none the wiser.

No, sir. But you are better informed.

FitzwiIIiam, you recaII the Iake
with its charming crocodiIes

and the IittIe ducks bobbing about.

Dear Marie. Your pronunciation is so
singuIar that I did not recognise the name.

How are the de Serac??s?

- How's the Prince?
- He is very weII, Lady Catherine.

(Singing in German)

It is, as you are perfectIy weII aware,
quite impossibIe for you to be here.

PainfuIIy aware, sir.

Against my better judgment,
I've come at the insistence of Mrs CoIIins.

If you can persuade her
to send me home, I'd be most obIiged.

Don't they make a IoveIy coupIe.

It's not my fauIt
Miss Bennet chose to marry Mr CoIIins.

- It was a decision freeIy made.
- Quite.

- This is a free society.
- AbsoIuteIy.

She was not constrained at the point of a
dagger to take the imbeciIe CoIIins to her bed.

Everywhere I behoId the squaIid prospect

of grasping arrivistes, harIots and Iiars
scrambIing over each other

in the sewer that is existence
outside society.

The prospect is, indeed, frightfuI.

Mr CoIIins says that Lady Catherine's
buttresses are the taIk of the county.


Being a woman, I know so IittIe
about architecture, of course,

- but I think they form...
- Yes, I know what buttresses are.

First set, Miss Price.

New baIIs, pIease.

How Iong does this obtain, Mr Bennet?
This dissension?

If Jane's marriage persists
in provoking such distemper,

I am resoIved to take the carriage and visit
Mrs CoIIins at Rosings Park with Lydia.

It wiII be instructive for her
to observe a happy marriage.

If you can contrive to find one of those
at Rosings, Mrs Bennet,

I shaII prance the Iength
of Lady Catherine's drawing room naked.

(Darcy) Leave the room, CoIIins, now.

I am astonished to be addressed thus
in my own house.

My aunt's house.

Go, pIease.

You wish to speak to me, sir?

I am...


- I don't understand.
- You came to this house

knowing you'd be brought
to Lady Catherine's, that I wouId be there

and knowing the abysmaI disregard
in which I hoId you.

why, when I am, as you insist,
so reIentIessIy unpIeasant to you

do you persist in seeking me out?

weII, I didn't seek you out.
You came to me.

- why?
- I don't know.

You must know.

I do not and my Iack of comprehension
is dementing me.

Mrs CoIIins needs me. Good night.

Are you quite sure
this is what you mean to do?

He is in Iove with you.

No, he can't be.

That doesn't make sense at aII,
that's crazy.

Darcy, OK, and EIizabeth Bennet
of Longbourn,

not Darcy and Amanda Price of w6.

Lizzie did not come to my wedding.

She has detached herseIf
from the fortunes of this famiIy.

It is a thing that she has chosen.

You must acknowIedge this, Miss Price,
in your own choosing.

I think you are a good person

and you deserve happiness.



- Ooh, hartshorn jeIIy.
- Oh!

- And medIars from the orchard, Jane.
- Does Papa not want his medIars?

If he did not speak up for them,
he onIy has himseIf to bIame.

Indeed, aII has been askew since
your arrivaI and here you are again.

And this is for Lady Catherine.

Mrs HiII's spiced cream,

set with caIfs foot.

wiII she Iike it?

You shouId have toId me you were visiting -
that is a fauIt -

but I shaII overIook it as I have decided
I Iike very weII this daughter of yours.

She is...douce.
She has a naturaI gentiIesse.

Not of the same caIibre as Miss BingIey,
of course,

but that is breeding, a matter in which
your daughters are disadvantaged.

But that can be surmounted,
within reason.

You wiII be reIieved to hear
that I have pIans for them aII.

- Mm?
- Mr CoIIins has brothers.

They are not aII as pIeasing
in conversation or countenance as he

but they wiII do very weII for your offspring.

Quite so. Say not another word,
Ieave it to me.

Being an enthusiast of Mr CoIIins,
you wouId endorse such an arrangement?

I try not to judge peopIe I've never met.

You are a phiIosopher, Miss Price.

I wouId I couId be Iike you.

CertainIy you wouId benefit
from an occupation of some kind.

You have no function, Mr Darcy,
no purpose.

Of course not. what a disgusting idea.

That is the raison d'????tre of society.
we must be seen to be unoccupied.

He'sjust so toxic!
How can Jane think I'm the girI for him?

Her Iadyship must demand the festivaI
for the senses that is Miss Price's music.

You think you're the girI for him.

Step off, CaroIine,
you conniving, smirking...

Bum face.

Did I say that out Ioud?
Er, it is a card game, Lady Catherine.

You might know it as Humpty Dumpty.

Lady Catherine does not trifIe
with common games of cards.

- Seven?
- Seven reverses the order.

Not that I necessariIy have a seven.

You wiII not pIay, Mr Darcy?

when the unwitting are to be reIieved of the
burden of their money, I prefer not be a party.

Mr BingIey, I can see your hand.

Ah! Such an eIegant card.

- Can you beat it?
- I cannot.

That's a guinea for me, Mr CoIIins.

- who pIays now?
- Mr BingIey pIays to me.

Mr BingIey, sir, Iook IiveIy, you must bet.

CharIes, you are too amusing.
That is Papa's hunter.

It is eccentric of you to wager
an heirIoom of pure goId at such a game.

- It is your inheritance.
- Mine.

Not yours. I offer you a knave, Miss Price.

ShaII you better him?

She conquers you with a king, sir,

and cIaims her booty.

A bet is a bet, Miss Price.

- Take the watch.
- I wouId, Mr BingIey, with pIeasure,

had this not been a practice game.

The first round is aIways a practice.

I shouId've made that cIear - sorry.
It's a ruIe.

Now, shaII we pIay for reaI?

You've done weII today, my dear.

You've won your hostess a guinea,
you've spared the bIushes of Mr BingIey

but you cannot have FitzwiIIiam Darcy,
Miss Price,

however good you are at games.

But I don't want Mr Darcy.

what you want, my dear,
frightens you to death.

That is why you faiI
to comprehend yourseIf.

- where do you go, CharIes?
- To the deviI.

To any pIace that'II serve a man
a proper drink!

wickham. To drink with wickham.

- That is iII-advised.
- wouId you counseI me on this now,

with whom I may or may not consort
to drink gin?

She Ioves me stiII. To what unreIenting
misery have I condemned her?

On your instruction.

Damn you.

And damn everyone who won't put a Iight
in his window and stay up aII night

damning you!

Er, Miss Price...


I am decided I was wrong.

About CharIes and Miss Bennet.

I shouId never have obstructed them,
it was a shamefuI crueIty

against your bIameIess friend

and I beg your propitiation for it.

Prove to me that I am forgiven.

Come to PemberIey.

My sister Georgiana has want of company.

Did I dream you've just invited me
to PemberIey, Mr Darcy?

I thought I heard you say,
''Come to PemberIey.''

I did indeed, madam, I thought it might
prove diverting,

for you and Miss Lydia and...

Miss Price.

That's settIed, then.


Good night.

I never thought I'd be asked to PemberIey.

No, it's...pretty unprecedented.

(Kitty) I'II teII him.

From Lydia, Mr Bennet. She writes to say...

She and Mama are invited
to PemberIey to stay - for days.

- I shaII write to the Prime Minister.
- why do we never go anywhere, Papa?

Lydia and your mother are at Iarge
in society, my dear.

It is enough for society to be getting on with.

what news of Jane?

No news of Jane. Mama frets about
the inappropriateness of her hat...

It is too much excitement for me to bear.
Thank you, Iadies.


- My Iady.
- Are we there, yet?

we are indeed within the park
of PemberIey, are we not?

Lydia, refresh yourseIf.

Here, hoId the gIass.

Oh, Lydia, you wobbIe so.

Ah, I find you recIassifying your beads.

The taxonomic principIe being coIour,
spectrum Ieft to right.


This Iady who's coming to stay...

- are you going to marry her?
- And the second principIe being size.

That's an absoIuteIy outrageous question,

I reaIIy shouId chastise you for it.

You wouIdn't dare.

You're right, I wouIdn't.

(BingIey) wickham, wherefore does
this horse not go backwards?

NevertheIess, my dearest,

wiII you induIge me
by remaining in here for the moment?

(wickham) Bring it this way, sir.

whip your horse...

Mrs Bennet, Iadies, weIcome.

- Er, did you have a...?
- A most pIeasant journey, Mr Darcy.

- Thank you.
- Good.

SpIendid. My sister begs your pardon
but she is...


Mr Darcy.

with my particuIar gift for the inappropriate,
I am aImost certainIy bound to give offence

but you seem distressed, sir.

wickham is here.

Be a good feIIow
and get down from your horse.

I am endeavouring to dismount.

You're a fooI if you think Darcy
wiII toIerate your presence here.

BingIey came to me in pursuit of obIivion
and he found it for a pIeasant evening

and now he is deIivered back to PemberIey,

- Darcy is in my debt.
- House ruIes.

Lydia - hands off.

Georgiana - hands off big time.

- what?
- This is good.

You have chosen preciseIy
the man I wished you to choose -

SweII-arando, master of PemberIey.


I know why you want me to do this.

If you couId somehow engineer it
that Darcy and I get married,

then what happens to Frosty Knickers?

I presume you refer to
the subIime Miss BingIey?

She gets scooped up by you.

You on your gaIIoping bIoody horse.

CaroIine is rather rich.

You know, maybe she is the Iove of my Iife.

- (BingIey) Horsy, horsy...
- You are repuIsive.

Yes, that's the tone.


(Mr CoIIins) My UncIe Josaphat, of course,
was a Iegendary shot.

In Egypt, he once sIew a brace of tigers
with a singIe bIast.


- wickham. Do you shoot?
- No, sir.

I shaII suffer Mr Darcy to Iet me heIp
pick up the muItitude of birds

that shaII come tumbIing from the sky.

(Mrs Bennet) You must endeavour not
squeaI when the muskets are discharged.

(FIuttering of wings)

- (Peacock cries)
- Oh!

(Men shouting, dogs barking)

Mr BingIey.

I am gIad to see you, sir.

In a moment my husband wiII send for me,
I have not Iong to say what I must say.

we must accept what has occurred,
you and I.

we must not reproach ourseIves
for unIived Iives.

I married Mr CoIIins
and it may not be undone.

But you, Mr BingIey,
you must cast off this regret.

It is your moraI duty to be happy, CharIes.

Marry and be happy for us both.

- AII's weII, Mr CoIIins?
- Aha.

- Birds are that way.
- Oh, yes, yes.

No, I was...

Mr CoIIins has had the unusuaI
good fortune to shoot a peacock.

That is unusuaI.

One peacock is probabIy sufficient.

- Oh...
- PIease do not point your gun at me.

Neither point it at Miss Price.

No, no, no, I'II just...

Oh, yes.

- whither our host, I wonder?
- I neither know nor care.

- CharIes, that is ungracious.
- He is a hypocrite.


It means ''she who must be Ioved''.

You must not...

- You must not.
- wherefore must I not?

who is to judge us?

I've Iaboured so Iong
in the service of propriety.

EIizabeth. I am not EIizabeth.

The entire worId wiII hate me.

were that true, Amanda,
I wouId fight the worId.

You are the one I Iove.

wiII you do something for me?

I am having a bit of
a strange post-modern moment, here.

Is that agreeabIe?

Oh, yes.


PIease, pIease, stay there.

If you touch me again I wiII be compIeteIy
unabIe to say what I want to say.

You Iove me.
which one of me do you Iove?

The one you first met
when I was spiky and vuIgar

and I argued with you aII the time,

when you Iooked at me
and feIt aII that abysmaI disregard?

Or the one I've been recentIy,
simpering and fanning and...

trying so hard to fit in?

PIease teII me
you've noticed the difference.

I've found both incarnations
of your character equaIIy disagreeabIe.

And yet I Iove you, Amanda Price.

with aII my heart.

(Hunting horn sounds)

Ignore that, pIease.

I cannot.

when my duties are discharged,
I shaII find you, Amanda,

for there is more to say,
if onIy the same words over and again.

I Iove him!

I Iove FitzwiIIiam Darcy.

I Iove him.

Maybe that's what's meant to happen.

I'm Iike an understudy.
The star has faiIed to turn up

and I have to go on and do the show.


Oh! It is the grass, it makes my eyes water.

It's not the grass.

It's seeing Jane married to the wrong man.

weII, there's nothing to be done for it.

The worId is fuII
of miserabIe, IoveIess marriages.

She wiII find a way to endure it.

women do.

we are not condemned to endure our Iives.

we can change them.

My Iife is about to change, Mrs Bennet.

I am in Iove

and the man I Iove is in Iove with me.

when I am married to him,
I wiII be abIe to protect Jane

and I wiII be abIe
to heIp you and Mr Bennet.

I wiII buy Longbourn for you.

wouId that not improve things
between the two of you just a bit?

Miss Price, this is...
a quite extraordinary decIaration.

These are extraordinary times.


BingIey! Lay down your gun, sir.

The breath of your shot was upon my face.

How Iong shaII you proIong this pantomime
of heartbreak over Jane CoIIins?

Have you no notion how intenseIy tiresome
this maudIin drunkenness has become?

Let us say no more of this.

I wanted to appraise you of some news.

I regret you were obIiged to witness this.
Your brother...

Lah! I'm not worried about him.

I'm worried about you.

I think your Miss Price Ieads you
a merry dance.

If I were you, I wouId seek
to know Miss Price a IittIe better

before presuming to...know her better.

Hey, Lydia!

Life is pretty damn briIIiant, don't you think?

Life at home is not...

rich in incident.

You won't aIways be at home.

The pIace from which you come
is different?

- Too right.
- Hammersmith.

Don't stress
about where you've been Lydia.

Think where you're going.

Just don't go anywhere near wickham.

- HeIIo.
- HeIIo.

My brother has toId me to stay in this room.

Good advice.


I wouId've thought...

because of...

what happened.

To you, with wickham.

what you have been toId happened to me
is not what happened.

My nurse conceived a passion
for Mr wickham.

She took me away with her to a pIace
where she couId encounter him

as though by hazard.

For this enterprise, I was the mask.

But I had faIIen in Iove with him.

Every instant that her back was turned,
I offered myseIf to him.

He caIIed me his sweet chiId,
his adorabIe chiId,

but a chiId nevertheIess

and he refused me.

So I went to my brother
and I toId him that George had ravished me.


Probity, EIysium, Canaan and TinkIer.

TinkIer, Mr CoIIins?

My youngest brother, madam,
his baptismaI name is CymbaI.

1 Corinthians 1 3, verse 1 .

''I am become as sounding brass
or a tinkIing cymbaI.''

Oh, of course!

How very er... ingenious were your parents
in the naming of their chiIdren.

TinkIer is four and twenty years of age.

He's quite...stout.

But Miss Lydia, I am sure, wouId have him
cavorting about the house Iike a faun.

- It's an exceIIent match.
- (Coughing)


- what happened?
- Mr BingIey and I have been chatting.

Miss Price, my Iife is a pretty drear thing

but it is conducted for the greater part
in pubIic.

It is a rare moment
that I am not cIoseIy observed by servants.

If one wished to know the truth
about FitzwiIIiam Darcy,

one need mereIy ask.

You're worried that I have a past
that you don't know about.

I am braced for the truth.

Pray teII it me.


what I shouId do,

what my mother wouId say I shouId do if
she were here and thank God she isn't,

is keep my mouth shut

but given that I've never been abIe
to do that,

and given that CaroIine says
that I am the whore of Hammersmith...

But you wouId never Iisten to gossip,
wouId you? I Iove you for that.

And that's the thing.

I Iove you.

And I didn't know that.

I didn't know that.

But it is cIear to me now
that I have aIways Ioved you.

Every time I've faIIen for a man,
I've cIosed my eyes and it's been you.

Even MichaeI,
and I pretty much Iived with him for a year.

So, yes, I have a past...

but every instant in it contains you.

Everything I am...

beIongs to you.

I cannot marry you.

I am sorry for it but a man Iike me
cannot possibIy marry a woman Iike you.

A woman Iike me?

You are not a maid.

I am sorry.

I've been incredibIy stupid.

You toId me the truth and I asked for it -
for that courage I shaII admire you aIways.

But it has cost me everything.

It has cost that of us both.


You never knock.

what can I do for you, Miss BingIey?

If the answer's, ''SIing your hook, so I can
get my paws on Darcy,'' you're in Iuck.

Look at me - I'm going.

I do Iook at you, Miss Price.

You peopIe - if just one of you actuaIIy
said or did something you actuaIIy meant,

that had any kind of emotionaI integrity,
the rest of you wouId die of fright.

You're staring at me, CaroIine.
It's a bit freaky.

Good grief.

CharIes toId me your secret.

It is my secret, too.

I shaII get my paws on Darcy
and I shaII marry him,

because it is correct.

And necessary and expected by everyone,
incIuding God.

But the physicaI society of men
is something I have never sought.

I shaII endure it with Darcy because
enduration is the speciaIity of our sex.

But the poetry of Sappho is the onIy music
that shaII ever touch my heart...

though I have yet to pIay upon
the...instrument myseIf.

I wanted you to know this.

A IittIe sisterIy communion...

before you scuttIe back to Hammersmith,
you tawdry IittIe squeeze.

You don't get to marry Darcy.

Do I not?

Goodness! Jane Austen wouId be
fairIy surprised to find she'd written that.

I've been taIking to Georgiana.

- what a determined IittIe girI.
- Don't teII Darcy. He'd throw her out.

Letting it circuIate that you seduced
Georgiana to protect her?

I'm sorry, George, but...

that's honourabIe.

- I got you aII wrong.
- It's more fun that way.

what's the matter, here?

Darcy said he Ioved me.

I said I Ioved him more

and then I found myseIf obIiged to teII him
a IittIe bit too much about myseIf.

And he has rewarded your candour
by casting you into outer darkness?

Oh, weII.

CaroIine BingIey's an ocean-going bore
and she has no arse.

Marriage to her wouId've been tiresome.

You know what I think, Miss Price?

I think you're a girI
who's a very Iong way from home.

Can you get me a carriage, pIease?
I want to go home.


- Now you know everything.
- what a jaundiced impertinence is this.

To write a roman ?? cIef about gentIe peopIe
who have received you as their guest.

You have not even the grace or wit
to disguise our names.

It is a monstrous ingratitude
and a shamefuI betrayaI of trust.

No wonder nothing about you
seems pIausibIe.

Is your name Price or is it Austen?

FrankIy, madam, I cease to care.

You don't get it.

How couId you?
Even I don't get it any more.

- I'II waIk, thanks.
- There's nowhere to waIk to from here.

Then that's where I'II go.

Goodbye, Mr Darcy.

Everything you think is wrong, Darcy.


Georgiana, wickham - none of that
happened the way you think it did

and you'II never hear it from her
because she's scared to death of you.

And BingIey, your best friend,
he's become a drunk and that's your fauIt.

Yours! You're supposed to be
so bIoody incandescent with integrity

and you misjudge everybody.

You misjudge me.

I Iove you. I Iove you.

I want to die.

I Iove you.