Looney Tunes Cartoons (2019–…): Season 2, Episode 9 - Basketbugs/A Skate of Confusion! - full transcript
[theme music playing]
[thumping footsteps
approaching]
Let's ball!
[all gasp] Dunk Ellington!
[whimpering]
[whimpering]
[grunts] Dunk!
-[vocalizing]
-[blade shearing]
Hey, what's this?
All right, who's the wise guy
throwing his orange ball
in my rabbit hole?
If I ever catch the lousy,
good-for-nothing clown
that destroyed my--
[gulps]
[nervously]
Well, hello there,
big fella.
It appears your ball
somehow accidentally
bounced into my bathroom.
That's no way to treat
an adorable, cute,
little rabbit like me.
Well, you leave me no choice
but to retaliate
in brutal fashion
and leave you
begging for mercy.
And I will, too.
Say, nice pair of kicks
you got there, Doc.
Are those those new,
limited-edition
streetball specials?
[whistles]
[coughs]
You must've paid
a pretty penny
for those bad boys.
Basketball, you and me,
one on one, now!
You want to play
a game of basketball
with little old me?
That's right. First one to...
[mumbles incoherently]
21 wins.
Well, gee whiz, Doc,
I really don't know
how to play basketball.
Let's see now, uh,
is this how you do it?
[scoffs, laughs mockingly]
I think I'm getting it.
Hey, this is kind of fun.
Whoops!
Whoa!
[snarls]
Well, what do you know?
I just scored
a three pointer.
[whispering] Don't look
now, Doc,
but, uh, confidentially,
[shouts] I'm winning!
And with very
little effort, too.
[growls]
[ball bouncing]
[explosion]
Now, uh, let's see, Mac,
so far, I've scored
five points
and you
have a big, fat zero.
Gimme that!
Let me show you
how it's done.
-[grunting]
-[honking]
-Huh?
-Well, don't just stand there,
ya maroon, shoot it!
Shoot it! Shoot the ball!
You're wide open!
[grunts]
Wha...
Well, looks like
that's another easy
three points for me, Doc.
Ooh, he's so salty!
[grunts]
All right, let's see you
get past this.
Whaddya got? Whaddya got?
Gasp!
-[whistle blows]
-[Bugs] Well, hiya, folks!
it's a beautiful day here
at the basketball court,
and so far, Bugs Bunny
is in the lead.
But we'll see if
Dunk can make a comeback
to even out the score.
I must say, Dunk Ellington
is looking in top form!
Mmm-hmm. Mmm!
Looks like Dunk
is showing off
his exceptional
ball-handling skills.
What's this?
He's turning around and heading
in the other direction.
Now, he's stopping,
sitting down
and dragging his butt
on the ground
like a dog with worms.
Now he's dribbling the ball
with his face.
Dribbling his face
with the ball!
Dribbling like a dope
on the ball!
He's hot tonight, folks.
He's on fire.
-[exclaims]
-Dunk is on fire.
He's taking out his wallet
and flushing all his money
down the toilet!
His entire life savings
down the toilet!
He's pulling down
his shorts...
Oh, my gosh!
He's wearing diapers, folks.
Diapers!
Extra-large, baby boy diapers!
Diapers! Oh, the humanity!
-Oh, the humiliation!
-[whimpers]
-But wait!
-[gasps]
Even this embarrassing display
doesn't stop him
from scoring points
for Bugs Bunny?
10... 12... 15... 18...
Twenty. Twenty points
for Bugs Bunny!
What will make him
snap out of this insanity,
folks? Maybe this?
[growls]
Get a load of this guy.
[mock growls, laughs]
Two, four, six, eight,
ten, twelve, fourteen,
sixteen, eighteen, twenty...
-Where'd the ball go?
-[Bugs whistles]
Yoo-hoo! Dunk!
Dunky baby.
Only one more point
and I win.
[screams]
Not in my house.
[screams]
Exciting game,
isn't it, folks?
No more Mr. Nice Dunk.
[grunts]
[huffing rapidly]
[growls]
[reading]
Ain't I a stinker?
Uh-oh.
[Dunk screaming]
[grunts, groans]
-Hurray for Bugs Bunny!
-[audience cheering]
Three cheers for the winner,
Bugs Bunny,
basketball champion
of the world!
Good game, rabbit.
How about a handshake?
Well, I never took him
for a good sportsman,
but I guess people
really can change.
Put 'er there, Doc.
Good game.
[grunts, laughs menacingly]
Say, Doc,
what are you doing?
So unsportsmanlike,
I can't breathe!
This shows an enormous
lack of character.
[gasps, gags]
[exclaims, whimpers]
[exclaims] Bugs?
Get 'em off me,
get 'em off me!
[screams]
Well, they don't call me
"Bugs" for nothing.
[theme music playing]
Oh, boy, I can't wait
to show you
ice skating, Cicero.
It's gonna be fu-f-f-,
it's, it's gonna f-fu...
it's gonna be a good time.
[groans] Ice skating
sounds boring.
B-b-boring? [laughs]
Now, now, Cicero, ice skating
is as f-f-fun as you make it.
Why, b-b-back in my day,
when I was knee-high to
a g-ggrasshop, g-g-grasshop,
a dung beetle...
-[chainsaw buzzing]
-...I skated so well,
I got a gold trophy.
-[buzzing]
-Practice makes perfect,
and all that.
After that ch-ch-championship,
we all went home
and r-r-roasted
m-mmarshmallows,
and G-Grand Pappy
drank too much eggnog
and fell asl-l-
fell asl-l-l...
he conked out.
[sighs]
Good times.
Oh well, b-better
get my sk-skates on
and get b-b-b...
Huh?
C-C-Cicero!
W-w-what are you up to?
T-take these off
b-b-before someone
g-g-gets hurt!
Sorry, Uncle Porky.
Let me untie those for you.
-Thank you.
-[buzzing]
C-C-Cicero!
Have fun, Uncle Porky!
[screaming]
Whaddya know...
It is as fun
as you make it!
[Porky] L-l-look out!!
[all] Yay!
Whoa!
[rock music playing]
[wolf whistle]
[screams, laughs nervously]
[screams]
[screams]
[screams]
[exclaims, grunts]
[sighs] F-f-finally f-f-free.
Now, w-where is that
n-n-no good nephew of mine
so I can g-g-give him
a stern t-t-t--
[screams]
[chainsaws sputtering]
[sighs] Oh, good.
[breathes in deeply, blows]
Actually, it is
a p-p-pretty lovely view
from up heeeeeeeeere!
[screams]
[grunts]
Whoa! Now that
was skating, Uncle Porky!
[screams exasperatedly]
Cicero!
D-d-do you have any idea
wh-what you could've--
[dog] There he is!
It's the pig
who jumped Homicide Hill!
That was the most
amazing thing I've seen
in my entire life.
Oh, well...
[laughs sheepishly]
It was n-n-nothing really.
So, what are you
gonna do with your
million-dollar prize check?
M-m-m-million dollar
prize check?
Wow! B-boy...I'll p-probably
spend a w-weekend
in the b-Bahamas...
G-go on a date
with a S-Swedish supermodel...
And once I'm bored
with that, I'll...
[screams]
Wow! I've never
actually seen anyone
cut a cheque before.
That's my Uncle Porky
for you.
Always causing trouble.
[Porky screaming]
[shatters]
[theme music playing]
[thumping footsteps
approaching]
Let's ball!
[all gasp] Dunk Ellington!
[whimpering]
[whimpering]
[grunts] Dunk!
-[vocalizing]
-[blade shearing]
Hey, what's this?
All right, who's the wise guy
throwing his orange ball
in my rabbit hole?
If I ever catch the lousy,
good-for-nothing clown
that destroyed my--
[gulps]
[nervously]
Well, hello there,
big fella.
It appears your ball
somehow accidentally
bounced into my bathroom.
That's no way to treat
an adorable, cute,
little rabbit like me.
Well, you leave me no choice
but to retaliate
in brutal fashion
and leave you
begging for mercy.
And I will, too.
Say, nice pair of kicks
you got there, Doc.
Are those those new,
limited-edition
streetball specials?
[whistles]
[coughs]
You must've paid
a pretty penny
for those bad boys.
Basketball, you and me,
one on one, now!
You want to play
a game of basketball
with little old me?
That's right. First one to...
[mumbles incoherently]
21 wins.
Well, gee whiz, Doc,
I really don't know
how to play basketball.
Let's see now, uh,
is this how you do it?
[scoffs, laughs mockingly]
I think I'm getting it.
Hey, this is kind of fun.
Whoops!
Whoa!
[snarls]
Well, what do you know?
I just scored
a three pointer.
[whispering] Don't look
now, Doc,
but, uh, confidentially,
[shouts] I'm winning!
And with very
little effort, too.
[growls]
[ball bouncing]
[explosion]
Now, uh, let's see, Mac,
so far, I've scored
five points
and you
have a big, fat zero.
Gimme that!
Let me show you
how it's done.
-[grunting]
-[honking]
-Huh?
-Well, don't just stand there,
ya maroon, shoot it!
Shoot it! Shoot the ball!
You're wide open!
[grunts]
Wha...
Well, looks like
that's another easy
three points for me, Doc.
Ooh, he's so salty!
[grunts]
All right, let's see you
get past this.
Whaddya got? Whaddya got?
Gasp!
-[whistle blows]
-[Bugs] Well, hiya, folks!
it's a beautiful day here
at the basketball court,
and so far, Bugs Bunny
is in the lead.
But we'll see if
Dunk can make a comeback
to even out the score.
I must say, Dunk Ellington
is looking in top form!
Mmm-hmm. Mmm!
Looks like Dunk
is showing off
his exceptional
ball-handling skills.
What's this?
He's turning around and heading
in the other direction.
Now, he's stopping,
sitting down
and dragging his butt
on the ground
like a dog with worms.
Now he's dribbling the ball
with his face.
Dribbling his face
with the ball!
Dribbling like a dope
on the ball!
He's hot tonight, folks.
He's on fire.
-[exclaims]
-Dunk is on fire.
He's taking out his wallet
and flushing all his money
down the toilet!
His entire life savings
down the toilet!
He's pulling down
his shorts...
Oh, my gosh!
He's wearing diapers, folks.
Diapers!
Extra-large, baby boy diapers!
Diapers! Oh, the humanity!
-Oh, the humiliation!
-[whimpers]
-But wait!
-[gasps]
Even this embarrassing display
doesn't stop him
from scoring points
for Bugs Bunny?
10... 12... 15... 18...
Twenty. Twenty points
for Bugs Bunny!
What will make him
snap out of this insanity,
folks? Maybe this?
[growls]
Get a load of this guy.
[mock growls, laughs]
Two, four, six, eight,
ten, twelve, fourteen,
sixteen, eighteen, twenty...
-Where'd the ball go?
-[Bugs whistles]
Yoo-hoo! Dunk!
Dunky baby.
Only one more point
and I win.
[screams]
Not in my house.
[screams]
Exciting game,
isn't it, folks?
No more Mr. Nice Dunk.
[grunts]
[huffing rapidly]
[growls]
[reading]
Ain't I a stinker?
Uh-oh.
[Dunk screaming]
[grunts, groans]
-Hurray for Bugs Bunny!
-[audience cheering]
Three cheers for the winner,
Bugs Bunny,
basketball champion
of the world!
Good game, rabbit.
How about a handshake?
Well, I never took him
for a good sportsman,
but I guess people
really can change.
Put 'er there, Doc.
Good game.
[grunts, laughs menacingly]
Say, Doc,
what are you doing?
So unsportsmanlike,
I can't breathe!
This shows an enormous
lack of character.
[gasps, gags]
[exclaims, whimpers]
[exclaims] Bugs?
Get 'em off me,
get 'em off me!
[screams]
Well, they don't call me
"Bugs" for nothing.
[theme music playing]
Oh, boy, I can't wait
to show you
ice skating, Cicero.
It's gonna be fu-f-f-,
it's, it's gonna f-fu...
it's gonna be a good time.
[groans] Ice skating
sounds boring.
B-b-boring? [laughs]
Now, now, Cicero, ice skating
is as f-f-fun as you make it.
Why, b-b-back in my day,
when I was knee-high to
a g-ggrasshop, g-g-grasshop,
a dung beetle...
-[chainsaw buzzing]
-...I skated so well,
I got a gold trophy.
-[buzzing]
-Practice makes perfect,
and all that.
After that ch-ch-championship,
we all went home
and r-r-roasted
m-mmarshmallows,
and G-Grand Pappy
drank too much eggnog
and fell asl-l-
fell asl-l-l...
he conked out.
[sighs]
Good times.
Oh well, b-better
get my sk-skates on
and get b-b-b...
Huh?
C-C-Cicero!
W-w-what are you up to?
T-take these off
b-b-before someone
g-g-gets hurt!
Sorry, Uncle Porky.
Let me untie those for you.
-Thank you.
-[buzzing]
C-C-Cicero!
Have fun, Uncle Porky!
[screaming]
Whaddya know...
It is as fun
as you make it!
[Porky] L-l-look out!!
[all] Yay!
Whoa!
[rock music playing]
[wolf whistle]
[screams, laughs nervously]
[screams]
[screams]
[screams]
[exclaims, grunts]
[sighs] F-f-finally f-f-free.
Now, w-where is that
n-n-no good nephew of mine
so I can g-g-give him
a stern t-t-t--
[screams]
[chainsaws sputtering]
[sighs] Oh, good.
[breathes in deeply, blows]
Actually, it is
a p-p-pretty lovely view
from up heeeeeeeeere!
[screams]
[grunts]
Whoa! Now that
was skating, Uncle Porky!
[screams exasperatedly]
Cicero!
D-d-do you have any idea
wh-what you could've--
[dog] There he is!
It's the pig
who jumped Homicide Hill!
That was the most
amazing thing I've seen
in my entire life.
Oh, well...
[laughs sheepishly]
It was n-n-nothing really.
So, what are you
gonna do with your
million-dollar prize check?
M-m-m-million dollar
prize check?
Wow! B-boy...I'll p-probably
spend a w-weekend
in the b-Bahamas...
G-go on a date
with a S-Swedish supermodel...
And once I'm bored
with that, I'll...
[screams]
Wow! I've never
actually seen anyone
cut a cheque before.
That's my Uncle Porky
for you.
Always causing trouble.
[Porky screaming]
[shatters]
[theme music playing]