Looney Tunes Cartoons (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - Grilled Rabbit/Cactus if you Can/Shower Shuffle - full transcript
Detective Elmer Fudd interrogates Bugs about a theft. / Wile E. Coyote's plan to catch Road Runner gets prickly. / Daffy and Porky have shower troubles.
[theme music playing]
[snores]
[coughing]
Abandon ship!
It's the Germans!
Oh, it's you.
[lisping]
Hello, wabbit!
Eh, what's up, Doc?
Don't play dumb.
We both know
what this is about.
Er, tax evasion?
What? No!
-Loitering?
-No.
Oh, murder?
No!
Maybe this will refresh
your memory.
No! No! It's horrible!
So talk! Whaddya see?
[in tough guy voice]
Oh, I'll tell you
what I see.
The ugliest yard I ever had
the misfortune
of laying eyes on.
What! No!
It's my lovely garden.
And do you see
anything missing?
[in normal voice] Hmm.
Gardening skills?
-[glass shatters]
-No!
My carrots!
And you stole 'em. Admit it!
Eh, it wasn't me.
Oh, you're good, wabbit.
A tough nut to crack.
Well, I'm gonna make you talk.
Let's see how long you last
-under this baking hot lamp.
-[sizzling]
Wasting away like a daisy
under a thousand suns.
Parched, burned.
[laughs wickedly]
Quack, quack. Quack, quack.
[barking]
What was that, Doc?
Oh, wabbit!
[metal clangs]
I'm gonna make you admit
you took those carrots.
-[metal clangs]
-I'm sticking to my story, Mac.
[thud]
Well, let's just see how
your story holds up
to my polygraph test.
Your poly-what?
My polygraph machine.
It's a lie detector.
If you lie, this buzzer
will go off, and I'll give
you a thrashing.
State your name for the record.
That's easy.
Bugsworth Bunny.
You know, Mac, that suit
really looks good on you.
[buzzing]
Very funny.
No, I really mean it.
[buzzing]
-Why, a suit really accentuates
your muscles.
-[buzzes]
-I bet the ladies are
all over you.
-[buzzes]
As a matter of fact,
they are.
[buzzing]
[shouting] Enough!
[crashes]
We tried it the easy way.
Now, the hard way.
Um...
-What?
-Oh, nothing. Carry on.
No, tell me, what is it?
It's just, uh,
this is your first time
interrogating, isn't it?
Yeah. Why?
No reason. Go on.
I'm sure you'll do great.
Hmm.
I don't know
what you're thinking, but--
I'm thinking I probably would
have started with
a little good cop, bad cop.
Good cop, bad cop?
It's a little hard to explain
to beginners.
Well, if you're so smart,
why don't you just show me?
I thought you'd never ask!
First, good cop.
All nice and friendly-like.
Here, have some homemade pie.
Oh, goody, pie.
Pie for me. [chuckles]
Mmm-hmm.
And then when
they least expect it,
you give them the bad cop.
[shouting]
Where are the carrots,
you filthy animal?
Now, I'm the bad cop, see?
Aah! Aah!
[crying]
No. Don't cry, Doc.
Here, have some ice cream.
Oh, well--
And that's good cop, bad cop.
Oh! You tricked me again!
You horrible
little carrot thief!
Now, wait a minute, Doc.
I'll talk. I'll talk.
I didn't steal your carrots.
But I saw the guy who did.
He had a real tiny face.
Almost no face, whatsoever.
Puckered up like he just ate
a hot lemon.
Just totally sunken in.
Yeah, yeah, that's it.
Push the nose in
a little more.
[gasps] There he is!
That's the sick freak
who stole your carrots!
[Bugs] Oh!
How could you, Doc?
It was you, all along.
What?
[stammering]
It couldn't be.
It has to be. Look.
Dirt under your nails.
Dirt from the scene
of the crime!
-Mwah!
-But...
But nothing. You were there.
Photos don't lie!
It was you!
[glass shatters]
[yelling]
[imitates chicken clucking
and pig snorting]
-All right. Where was I
on the night of the crime?
-[sizzling]
I better start talking.
[wicked giggling]
Shut up! Spit that pie out
and tell me what happened
to the carrots.
What's on TV?
I don't know!
-Who are you working for?
-What a shame! I sure hope
he cracks the case.
Could I have my pie now?
[theme music playing]
[whirring]
[creaking]
Meep-meep.
[straining]
[upbeat music playing]
[skidding]
[whirring]
[screaming]
[boulder whistling]
Meep-meep.
[birds chirping]
[theme music playing]
[Porky humming]
Time for
a nice relaxing shower.
[squeaking]
[humming]
[sighs]
[electrical buzzing]
[Daffy blowing nose]
Ew!
[flushing]
[Porky screams]
[stuttering] These old pipes
sure are a doozy.
-[flushing]
-[yells]
-[flushing]
-[yells]
What in tarnation?
What's with this thing?
[Porky groaning]
Ugh, disgusting...
Unhygienic!
Ew!
You better shape up,
you hear me!
Sorry about that.
[Daffy gargling]
[Porky choking]
[Daffy choking]
[thuds]
[thudding]
[sighs]
[Daffy screams]
I need a handyman...
[stutters] a plumber.
Hmm?
[pipe squeaking]
[Daffy gargling]
[Porky yells and sighs]
[Daffy screaming]
Finally a little relaxation.
[Daffy yells]
[both yelling]
[both grunting]
[both panting]
'Scuse me, chum,
could ya scrub my back?
Oh, sure thing, pal.
[theme music playing]
[snores]
[coughing]
Abandon ship!
It's the Germans!
Oh, it's you.
[lisping]
Hello, wabbit!
Eh, what's up, Doc?
Don't play dumb.
We both know
what this is about.
Er, tax evasion?
What? No!
-Loitering?
-No.
Oh, murder?
No!
Maybe this will refresh
your memory.
No! No! It's horrible!
So talk! Whaddya see?
[in tough guy voice]
Oh, I'll tell you
what I see.
The ugliest yard I ever had
the misfortune
of laying eyes on.
What! No!
It's my lovely garden.
And do you see
anything missing?
[in normal voice] Hmm.
Gardening skills?
-[glass shatters]
-No!
My carrots!
And you stole 'em. Admit it!
Eh, it wasn't me.
Oh, you're good, wabbit.
A tough nut to crack.
Well, I'm gonna make you talk.
Let's see how long you last
-under this baking hot lamp.
-[sizzling]
Wasting away like a daisy
under a thousand suns.
Parched, burned.
[laughs wickedly]
Quack, quack. Quack, quack.
[barking]
What was that, Doc?
Oh, wabbit!
[metal clangs]
I'm gonna make you admit
you took those carrots.
-[metal clangs]
-I'm sticking to my story, Mac.
[thud]
Well, let's just see how
your story holds up
to my polygraph test.
Your poly-what?
My polygraph machine.
It's a lie detector.
If you lie, this buzzer
will go off, and I'll give
you a thrashing.
State your name for the record.
That's easy.
Bugsworth Bunny.
You know, Mac, that suit
really looks good on you.
[buzzing]
Very funny.
No, I really mean it.
[buzzing]
-Why, a suit really accentuates
your muscles.
-[buzzes]
-I bet the ladies are
all over you.
-[buzzes]
As a matter of fact,
they are.
[buzzing]
[shouting] Enough!
[crashes]
We tried it the easy way.
Now, the hard way.
Um...
-What?
-Oh, nothing. Carry on.
No, tell me, what is it?
It's just, uh,
this is your first time
interrogating, isn't it?
Yeah. Why?
No reason. Go on.
I'm sure you'll do great.
Hmm.
I don't know
what you're thinking, but--
I'm thinking I probably would
have started with
a little good cop, bad cop.
Good cop, bad cop?
It's a little hard to explain
to beginners.
Well, if you're so smart,
why don't you just show me?
I thought you'd never ask!
First, good cop.
All nice and friendly-like.
Here, have some homemade pie.
Oh, goody, pie.
Pie for me. [chuckles]
Mmm-hmm.
And then when
they least expect it,
you give them the bad cop.
[shouting]
Where are the carrots,
you filthy animal?
Now, I'm the bad cop, see?
Aah! Aah!
[crying]
No. Don't cry, Doc.
Here, have some ice cream.
Oh, well--
And that's good cop, bad cop.
Oh! You tricked me again!
You horrible
little carrot thief!
Now, wait a minute, Doc.
I'll talk. I'll talk.
I didn't steal your carrots.
But I saw the guy who did.
He had a real tiny face.
Almost no face, whatsoever.
Puckered up like he just ate
a hot lemon.
Just totally sunken in.
Yeah, yeah, that's it.
Push the nose in
a little more.
[gasps] There he is!
That's the sick freak
who stole your carrots!
[Bugs] Oh!
How could you, Doc?
It was you, all along.
What?
[stammering]
It couldn't be.
It has to be. Look.
Dirt under your nails.
Dirt from the scene
of the crime!
-Mwah!
-But...
But nothing. You were there.
Photos don't lie!
It was you!
[glass shatters]
[yelling]
[imitates chicken clucking
and pig snorting]
-All right. Where was I
on the night of the crime?
-[sizzling]
I better start talking.
[wicked giggling]
Shut up! Spit that pie out
and tell me what happened
to the carrots.
What's on TV?
I don't know!
-Who are you working for?
-What a shame! I sure hope
he cracks the case.
Could I have my pie now?
[theme music playing]
[whirring]
[creaking]
Meep-meep.
[straining]
[upbeat music playing]
[skidding]
[whirring]
[screaming]
[boulder whistling]
Meep-meep.
[birds chirping]
[theme music playing]
[Porky humming]
Time for
a nice relaxing shower.
[squeaking]
[humming]
[sighs]
[electrical buzzing]
[Daffy blowing nose]
Ew!
[flushing]
[Porky screams]
[stuttering] These old pipes
sure are a doozy.
-[flushing]
-[yells]
-[flushing]
-[yells]
What in tarnation?
What's with this thing?
[Porky groaning]
Ugh, disgusting...
Unhygienic!
Ew!
You better shape up,
you hear me!
Sorry about that.
[Daffy gargling]
[Porky choking]
[Daffy choking]
[thuds]
[thudding]
[sighs]
[Daffy screams]
I need a handyman...
[stutters] a plumber.
Hmm?
[pipe squeaking]
[Daffy gargling]
[Porky yells and sighs]
[Daffy screaming]
Finally a little relaxation.
[Daffy yells]
[both yelling]
[both grunting]
[both panting]
'Scuse me, chum,
could ya scrub my back?
Oh, sure thing, pal.
[theme music playing]