Looking (2014–2015): Season 1, Episode 4 - Looking for $220/Hour - full transcript

- Oh my God, you hate it.
- I don't hate it.

But you don't think

I can see the horrible
faces you're making?

What? This my normal,
everyday face.

I can't control
the way I look.

No, it's crap, isn't it?

No, but maybe if it
was fully rendered.

No, I'm canceling
the presentation.

No no no no.
Don't cancel the presentation.

We can figure something out.

No, it's shit enough that I
made you come in on a Sunday.



You didn't make me come in.

I offered.
I'm happy to help.

On what seems like a gay national
holiday by the sounds of it.

It's more leather
than gay, but yeah.

I mean, it's just the name,
"Folsom Street Fair,"

it just sounds... organic,

like you would get
vegetables,

cake and knitted goods.

You could take your
grandmother there

- for a nice day out.
- Oh, no.

You can't take
your grandmother,

unless you want to...

See her on a Catherine wheel
being electrocuted.

I'm not kidding.



- Oh my God.
- Yeah.

It's true.

So what about you?
Are you into all this

leather, whip, chain
paraphernalia?

- Ooh, men on hooks?
- Not your thing?

No, although I do
kind of have...

- See that guy over there?
- Oh my.

I've got a soft spot for,
you know, the old men

who masturbate
in the ass-less chaps.

And I bet you've got
a pair of ass-less chaps

in the back of your
wardrobe somewhere.

Maybe I do and maybe...

I do.

You're a mystery,
Patrick Murray.

What about you?

Do you want to
be down there?

- Down there?
- Yeah.

- Now?
- Yeah.

No.

So how long have
you been together?

Uh, nearly two years.

Wow, two years.

Is that the longest you've
ever been in a relationship?

Yup.

Doing this job
and having a relationship

is hard.

Work takes over.

And you have to find someone
who understands what you do.

Hmm.
That's not easy to find.

Nope.

And he doesn't
have a problem

with the fact that...

You know, you're here
and he's in Seattle?

Yeah. He cares, but what
are we supposed to do?

My work's here.
His work's there.

Okay, long-distance
relationships are so hard.

Hmm.

You kind of get used
to someone not being around.

And when they are around,
you...

Have to get used to them
all over again.

I guess I've just never
been in the experience

where I had a distance
relationship and had to...

- Sorry.
- No, that's okay.

Get out.

- Okay, that's kind of weird.
- Oh wow.

Speak of the devil.

Hey. How are you?

Good.
Hang on a second.

Here.
I got you.

Hang on.

Oh God.
That was cool.

- Wow, smooth.
- Hey.

Sorry, no I was...
Stuck in a... chair.

Yeah.

Calm down!

Don't be. It's fine.
It's absolutely fine.

Okay.

Sorry, Patrick.
Jon's just arrived at the airport.

Oh, I didn't know
he was in town.

Yeah, he's got
an interview in the morning

and then he's flying back
to Seattle first thing.

- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.

But I thought he was
getting a car

and he thought I was
picking him up.

So now he's sat
in the back of a taxi...

Incredibly pissed off.

Oh no, is he...
Is he gonna come here?

No.

He's gone home
to the apartment.

I just need to settle him in

and I'll be back in, what,
an hour or something.

Are you hungry?
Can I bring something back for you?

Oh, no no no.
Don't be silly.

You should not
come back here.

Just stay.
Be with your boyfriend.

I'll be fine.
Seriously.

Okay, well...

You know what?
I'm canceling the presentation.

Uh, no no.
Don't do that.

Let me... let me see
what I can do first here.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Cheers, Patrick.

Cheers.

It's getting better.

- Hey.
- Yo, what's up girl?

Why aren't you
meeting us today?

I'm just working.

- Is that Patrick?
- Yeah.

- Hi, Doris.
- He says, "what's good, mommy?"

Yo, tell Kevin you
don't work on Sundays.

Kevin's not here.

He's busy
with his boyfriend.

Hold up. You're like
two blocks away.

Come meet us for lunch.

Patrick, get your ass
down here, so I can spank it.

- And spank mine.
- Folsom! Whoo!

- Spank mine!
- Are you wasted?

- Spank it. Spank me!
- No, that's gross.

Spank me, Patrick.

Please don't leave
me here alone with them.

- Okay okay okay.
- Oh my God.

I thought Dom was gonna
come and meet you guys.

No, he's M.I.A.

Frank's at band practice,
so you got to come.

Have lunch with us.

You never know. You could meet the
love of your life here today.

Folsom! Whoo!

I doubt that very much.

- Hey!
- Hey.

- There he is all alive.
- Oh my God, is he there?

Awesome.

Let's get you
leathered up, yeah?

I don't even
know what this is.

Is it a fake anus?

Why would anybody
even want a fake anus?

Frank would look seriously
fucking hot in this.

I wish I could wear it.
No one's stopping you.

No, I'm saying I wish
I was one of those people

who could wear something like
that and not give a shit.

Hey, come on.
I will if you will.

- What?!
- I'm wearing this.

- No, you're not.
- Yes.

- No, no way.
- It's happening.

I am not wearing leather
in public. Not today.

What are you talking about?
Patrick, you so should.

You would look so fine
all leathered up.

- Yeah, but very gay, so...
- Oh, fuck you. That's not why.

No, it's just, normally, leather
makes me very sweaty, but...

Yeah, keep telling
yourself that.

Don't wear your shirt
underneath it.

Take your shirt off.
You look like my...

My Uncle themas
from Reno.

No, it's good.
It's like it's leather casual.

No, seriously,
take your shirt off.

And hurry up about it.
I got to be somewhere at 1:00.

You think I should
scotchgard it

in case I get
ejaculated on?

- Probably should.
- Where are we going?

Take off your shirt
and I'll tell you.

I am not taking off
my shirt. No.

Okay, where the fuck is Dom?

It's just got buttons.

May I help you?

Uh, yeah, I'm here
to see the owner.

That's me, um, George Fisher.
And you're...?

Oh, I'm Dom.

Sorry, I... I, uh...

I might be looking
for somebody else.

White man? Handsome?

Looks younger
than me, but isn't?

Yeah. Is he here?

Lynn!

- Hey.
- Lynn, this is Dom.

He thinks
you're handsome.

I see you've
met George.

Yeah, I thought
you were the owner.

Co-owner.
George is my partner.

Oh, are you two
partners?

He's single.

Thank you, George.

So I was just
in the neighborhood

and wondering if...

Are you free for lunch?

He's free.

Apparently, I'm free.

Where are we going?
You'll see when we get there.

Okay, well, hurry up because
I got to get back to work.

Oh, yeah, back to your...
Yeah.

Dotcom billionaire
butt-buddy.

Stop saying that.
He's just my boss.

With ears you want to pull
when you face-fuck him.

Ugh, come on.
He's got a boyfriend...

Who he's with right now
and probably having sex with.

Yeah, I bet you're not
jealous about that at all.

I'm not.

You're jealous because
I'm finally happy

and fulfilled at work.

I'm happy
at work too, you know.

I thought you got fired.

What, you got a new job?

Here.

Oh no.

Come on, you promised me.

- Don't become a rent-boy.
- Sorry.

Hey, CJ.

Agust?n.

I'm from
the coffee shop.

Hey, man.

Just didn't recognize you without
that frosting in your beard.

You must say that
to all the boys.

Oh, this is Patrick.

- What's up, Patrick?
- Hello.

So can we...
Can we talk for a sec?

Uh, can I get you a beer?

You can buy me lunch.

You got any cash
on you?

- What?
- Please.

He is... where would
you like to go?

You know, I've always
loved to cook,

and my dad was
an amazing cook

and actually
had a restaurant.

It was in this gnarly,
old gas station off the I-5,

but it was the best peri-peri
chicken you've ever had.

What? The best what?

Peri-peri... chicken.

I don't think I've even
ever heard that word

said before
much less eat it.

- Really?
- Yeah.

It's Portuguese chicken.
It's really delicious.

Okay, so authentic
Portuguese food...

In a gas station
off I-5?

Yeah. What?

It was a great,
fucking, place.

- Okay.
- It was just the wrong location.

Yeah, you think?

And he was kinda shit
at keeping his books.

You know?

And when he got sick,
I mean, I was 17.

So I didn't know anything
about running a restaurant.

Well, you do now.

There's still a few things
I don't understand,

like how does anyone
in this town

afford to open a new one?

- And yet they keep doing it.
- Yeah.

Which is actually why I
wanted to take you to lunch.

Not to ask you
for money or anything.

Relax.

No, it's just, you know,
you've done this before.

You opened buds
and then the wine shop.

So this...

This isn't a date?

Uh, oh shit.

Um...
No, no, I mean, you know,

we meet in a steam room,
naked.

And then you show up
at my flower shop and...

Yeah, no, of course.
I'm really sorry.

I should have said something.
I... I... I...

I'm messing with you.

- Are you?
- Yeah.

Tell me about your place.

I'm just hoping it's not
anywhere near the I-5.

So what do most people want
when they hire you?

It's a long list, man.

Uh, some just want
to see me naked.

Some just want to fuck.

I have this one client.

He likes to hang out
and watch tv...

Oh, that's kind of sweet.

While I jerk him off
and call him a faggot.

Okay, that's not so sweet.

People just want
me to do the things

that they're too shit-scared
to ask for in their normal life.

So you actually
know these guys

better than
anybody else does.

I guess.

I know part of them.

Like a therapist.
I just fuck people for a living.

This bratwurst
is unbelievable.

- You have to try this.
- Oh no, he can't. He's a vegetarian.

- Oh my God, that's so good.
- Hmm, right?

- God, what'd you just do?
- What?

It's not that
I can't eat meat.

I just choose not to.

Since when is
that the rule?

Since always.

What? Why are you
on my case about it?

So what is it
that you two want

that you can't ask
each other?

- Oh us? Are you kidding?
- We don't... we're not...

- We're not.
- No.

- We just went to college together.
- Yeah, actually,

look, I'm actually...
I'm doing a project.

I'm an artist.

I was hoping that maybe
you and I could do something.

Are you sure you don't
just want to fuck me?

Look, no offense,
but I get a lot of artists

who say that they
want to work with me.

Really, they all just
want to fuck me,

which is fine.
So why waste time pretending, right?

Yeah, right.

No, this is...
This is legit.

I promise.

Just so you know,
my rate's $220 an hour

whether we fuck
or not, cool?

You do realize you just
hired a prostitute, right?

His name is CJ, Patrick.

And sex workers
are people too.

No, I get that and
he seemed like a nice guy,

but I'm starting to get
a little worried about you.

Yeah, so am I. Where the fuck
are the fucking port-a-potties?

I mean, you and Frank
just moved in together,

and now you're
having three-ways,

and hiring prostitutes,
and eating meat?

I can't believe
that happened?

Okay, yeah,
the meat was a mistake.

A mistake I am
now paying for.

What?

How far away is your office?
Why?

'Cause if I have
to wait in this line,

I'm going to ruin
my cutoffs.

Are you serious?
Okay, come with me.

Let's go.
This way.

This way, this way,
this way, this way.

Excuse us.
Where're you going?

I think I'm about
to shit myself.

Can you mince your words
a little bit more?

Sorry, coming through.

I met George when he and his friend
Brian were selling geraniums

and some skunky weed out of
an old panhandle victorian.

- That sounds awesome.
- Yeah.

Well, being the nice
hippy fags that they were,

they wanted to
open a flower shop.

Of course.

I happened to be a
loan officer at the time.

But, I mean,
they had nothing.

They had no track record.

But you gave them
the loan anyway.

No, I threw them
out of my office.

Then a month later...

I ask Brian
to move in with me.

Six months later,
we open the flower shop.

So you're saying

I need to start dating
loan officers?

No no.

I'm saying that
the restaurant business

is like any other business.

It has less to do with
how smart or talented

or experience you are...
Not that that hurts, right?

But more to do
with who you know.

Well, fuck.

I mean, I don't know
anyone who, you know,

- has half a million dollars.
- Ah.

Do you?

I know some people.

- Where am I going? Where am I going?
- Through here, come.

Wow.
It's kind of hip.

Nice.

Hey, you didn't say
they made "Naval Destroyer."

Oh man!

Oh, don't tell me you're
a 40-year-old career bartender

who's also
into video games?

Oh my God, Hugo,
how are you still single?

Oh, man, play with me.
No, I'm not...

- I don't want to play video games.
- Come on.

That's so...
Play with... why?

Are you okay in there?

Does it smell like I'm okay?

I'm trying to breath
through my mouth.

You know this is God's
punishment, right?

- For what?
- For hiring a hooker.

You know, if God exists,

I hope she has
better things to do

than give people
the explosive shits.

Can you...

Can you give me like...
Like a coke or something?

My stomach is very
unhappy right now.

Okay.

I'll meet you out there.

Yeah.
Oof.

So tell me about
this project.

Is it about rent-boys?

- No, it's about CJ.
- What's the difference?

Well, it's about him.

I just... I just want
to follow him around.

You know?
Shoot some video,

see what happens.

I really... I just...
I can't overthink it.

You know?
I just got to do it.

You gonna watch him
fuck people?

Maybe.

Whew, I don't know.

If I was paying
someone for sex,

I don't think I'd
want you in the corner

with your crayons
and sketch pad.

I think it needs
to be more about

how he makes people feel.

He did have something,
that guy,

but it could have
just been the jock strap.

You know, if anything,

it really is more about
intimacy than sex.

Oh, come on.

I don't think jerking off
some random guy on a sofa

has much to do
with intimacy.

Of course it does.

It's all about
how paying someone

allows you
to truly be yourself.

No, that is a fantasy.

Intimacy is me in that
bathroom, smelling your shit.

Oh my God, what do you
know about intimacy?

You've had like one boyfriend
your entire life?

Well, that's just because I
haven't met the right person yet

and I don't want
to compromise.

You don't...

Patrick, all you do
is compromise.

- That's not true.
- Yeah, it is true.

You're doing it right now.

You're basically, what,

having a fantasy relationship
with your boss.

Oh, come on.
I am not having

a fantasy relationship
with my boss.

Yeah, you are. Oh yeah.

And the real fucked up
thing about it

is you get to flirt
with him at work

and then he gets to
go home to his boyfriend.

I'm sorry.

I'm being horrible.

Must be the meat.

Thanks for lunch.

- My pleasure.
- I really enjoyed myself.

Yeah, me too.

So what are you
doing tonight?

Wait, let me
cook for you.

I'll come to your place.
We won't talk business, I promise.

It'll be fun, just you and
me and a little peri-peri.

What are you doing?

You're not
interested in me.

Remember.

No, I just...

You know, I want you
to taste my chicken.

Look, what...

Just put a...
Business plan together

and I'll take a look
at it, okay?

Okay, I'll drop it off
next week.

Well, take your time.
There's no rush.

There is actually.
I'm turning 40

in a couple of weeks.

I'll look forward to
reading your proposal.

Good.

Great.

- Ohh, get off me. Get off me.
- Take it.

How do I get
him to move backwards?

- Take it.
- Ugh, God, he's fucking me.

I can't...

Oh, uh-oh.

Wow, Hugo.

Yup.
I'm impressed.

I can't believe you're beating her.
Please, tell me...

- Tell me how I can kill him.
- Kill that fucker.

- Hello.
- Impossible. Yeah.

Uh, hi.

Hello,
friends of Patrick.

How's it going?
Hey.

Everybody,
this is Kevin my boss.

Oh.
Oh, this is the famous Kevin.

- Am I?
- Um, this is Doris.

We're just heading out.
We're just heading out. Hello.

- Hello, Doris. Hey.
- Actually,

we're going to the stud later
if you want to join.

Kevin, you should bring
your... uh, well, I...

I think we got our work cut
out, but cheers. Yeah.

Have fun.
Yeah, have fun.

Okay.
I'm Hugo, by the way.

- Hi, Hugo.
- It's a great game.

Thank you very much.
I'm almost done with it.

I'm at 10-2. Yeah.
Hugo!

- Bye, have fun.
- I got to go.

- Bye.
- Bye.

I see you made it
to folsom, after all.

Yes.
Got yourself a nice top too.

Listen, I was...
I'm sorry.

I was just grabbing lunch

and then I ran
into those guys.

We ended up getting sucked
into the leather vortex.

It's fine.

Jon wanted to
get some sleep

before his
interview tomorrow,

so I thought...

Um...

Should we get back?

Cool.

It's so tough
to make a troll sexy.

But you fucking did it.

That is the... hands down...

The sexiest troll
I've ever seen.

See, I was obsessed
with giving him beefy pecs.

I can tell.

Those are some...

Those are some huge titties.
Jesus. Look at that.

Nice, good choice.

- Bravo.
- Thank you so much.

See, that's why I like talking
to you about this stuff.

You appreciate
the finer points.

Thank you.
I appreciate that.

I appreciate
you appreciating it.

Oh God.

Are you hungry?

Um, I don't know.

It's... I mean,
we could get takeout

if you fancy something.

Can we...
Can we get fried chicken?

Please, please,
can we get fried chicken?

I'm just not allowed
it at home.

Jon refuses flat out.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Anything fried, basically.

Um, you know,
I'm not really...

I'm not hungry.

Do you think that we're
actually gonna finish

this tonight,
in all reality?

- I mean...
- Um...

Hmm, no, probably not.

So we should probably cancel
the presentation tomorrow.

Because, I mean, if that's
the case, you know,

then I might go,
if it's all right with you.

I just... you know,

if we're not gonna
get anywhere with this.

Mm-hmm.

Cool.

Okay, then I will see you
bright and early.

- See you tomorrow.
- Okay.

Careful getting home.
It's kind of crazy out there.

Yeah, I don't want
to get fisted.

No.

Yeah, don't forget that.

I'll take my
little friend here.

- See you.
- See you, Patrick.

On an open-mic night...

Ladies and gentlemen,

Honey Mahogany.

Hey.
Hey.

Hey.

- Where's Kevin?
- I left him at the office.

Wow. Good for you.

- Thank you.
- Hmm?

- For me?
- Yeah.

All right.

Oh my God.

Look at you fucking
folsom queens.

Yes!
All right, how was it?

Incredible.
I saw my first pussy ring.

Oh, tell me everything.
How was CJ?

CJ? Uh, he's great.
He's in.

Um... totally awesome!
That's amazing.

Hey, wait wait wait.
How did you get him?

Um, he's just into it.
He likes the idea.

- What's up, Jesse?
- Hi, Agust?n.

Hey, how was band practice?

I think we're gonna be playing

- the new stuff at the rickshaw thing.
- Fuck yeah.

Rock and roll.

- Hey, Frankie.
- Look at you.

- Look at you, lady.
- You're so gorgeous.

I could cut your face.

Oh my God, I should
douse you in gasoline.

- Burn me.
- Ready to burn.

All right, what are we doing?
Are we here to talk

or are we here to dance?

We're here to dance.

How come you're
not dancing?

You see that guy
over there in the tank top?

Yeah.

That's Richie.

That's Richie?

Mm-hmm.

- Well, he's fucking hot.
- I know.

So why don't you
go talk to him?

I can't. He never
responded to my texts.

- So it's weird.
- Oh, that's weird.

Perseverance.
Go fetch.

Go fetch.

Hey.

Hey.

New look?

Uh, yeah.

I like it.

- Really?
- Yeah, looks good.

Thank you.

So, uh...

How've you been?

Yeah, I've been all right.

You know, um, still cut.

Look, that wasn't me
the other night.

I'm not...

What you...

What you thought
that I was...

Trying to go for,

I'm not looking
for that kind of thing.

Can you hear me in here?
It's really loud.

I can hear you.

So should I shut up
and go away?