Look (2010): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript

(electronic interference)

(white noise)

(electronic interference)

(upbeat music)

♪ Can I be your friend ♪

♪ Mr. Alien ♪

♪ Can I join your team ♪

♪ Have a space ship dream ♪

♪ Hey, you know me ♪

♪ I'm just tending ♪

♪ To the median flowers ♪



♪ That double my hours ♪

♪ I just get holidays off ♪

♪ Though I'm thinking ♪

♪ Of the old Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ And all of the power ♪

♪ It takes to like our lives ♪

♪ Cause no time to lose ♪

♪ When you're on the booze ♪

♪ Cause your little mind ♪

♪ Explodes like a cantaloupe dropped ♪

♪ From a skyscraper ♪

(guitar strumming drowns out singing)

♪ I'm just tending ♪

♪ To the median flowers ♪



♪ That double my hours ♪

♪ I just get holidays off ♪

♪ So I'm thinking ♪

♪ Of the old Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ And all of the power ♪

♪ It takes to like our lives ♪

(glass smashing)

- God dammit, Carl!

What the fuck, man?

I'm sorry, man.

- It's okay.

No problem.

It's all right.

No big deal.

- Get him another jar of pickles, man.

- Like it's my fault.

- Yeah, it's your fault.

You're dancing around and bumped into him.

Get him another jar of pickles!

Shit.

- Hey, I really love that song.

Did you write that?

- I write all my own songs.

- Cool.

Well, someday I'm gonna be able to say

that I bought a jar of pickles

from you when you're
a big rockstar, right?

Can I hear your music anywhere online?

Are you on iTunes or anything like that?

(jar bangs)

- It's not on iTunes yet.

It's on MySpace.

- Cool.

Here you go.

Keep the change.

Oh, when you need a lawyer,
you give me a call, okay?

- Okay.

- Great to meet you.

- Hey, you too, man.

- Good luck.

- Thanks.
- All right, take care.

Sounds really good.

- Thanks.

- All right.

Take it easy.

(door beeps)

- You are such an asshole, man.

What the fuck am I paying you for?

Clean up that shit, Carl.

- You could afford to
pay me more, you know.

(glass clinking)

I mean, you're rich!

- Would I still be working
in this fucking shit hole

if I was rich?

(glass clinking)

What the fuck are you
doing out there, man?

Sweep it into a pile!

You're making it all worse!

It's not that fucking hard, man.

That reward money, man.

That shit is gone.

Half of it went to tax right away.

Then I had to pay my debts.

(electronic interference)

Oh, man, here we go with this shit again.

(electronic interference)

(creepy music)

- I've got a weird like moldy
detergent smell about me.

There we go.

- Finally.

Fucking power company, man.

(wheels squeaking)

(door beeping)

(wheels squeaking)

Oh, shit.

No, man!

No!

No more free handouts.

- Yes, we have no bananas.

- Come on man, go.

Go!

(sighing)

God dammit!

This is the last time, man.

- You know, you're just encouraging
him to keep coming back.

- Have some fucking compassion, Carl.

The motherfucker's down and out.

Look, take this.

Come on.

Now vamoose!

And...

No!

(spitting)

(dry heaving)

(spitting)

(wheels squeaking)

- Thank you, sir!

Come again anytime.

There's no way I'm cleaning that up.

(school bells ringing)

(indistinct chatter)

(electronic music)

♪ Patterns of life ♪

♪ Goes round and round ♪

♪ Rose all fort ♪

♪ And love found ♪

♪ My head's a little bit in outer space ♪

♪ All I see is your face ♪

♪ I waste my life ♪

(electronic music)

♪ Patterns of life ♪

♪ Goes round and round ♪

♪ Rose all fort ♪

♪ And love found ♪

♪ My head's a little bit in outer space ♪

♪ All I see is your face ♪

♪ I waste my life ♪

(electronic music)

♪ I waste my life ♪

♪ And you don't care ♪

(electronic music)

♪ Patterns of life ♪

♪ goes round and round ♪

(electronic music)

♪ I waste my life ♪

(laughs)

♪ I waste my life ♪

♪ And I don't care ♪

♪ I waste my life ♪

(electronic music)

(Hannah laughs)

- Something funny, Hannah?

I assume the only reason
you're texting in class

is because you're finished with your test?

- That's right, Miss Crane.

All done.

- [Miss Crane] Well then bring it to me.

(cell phone buzzing)

(chair squeaking)

- Miss Patrick, can I go pee?

(paper rustles)

- I think I have my period.

Can I please go to the bathroom?

- Okay.

(upbeat hip hop music)

- Can you believe that fucking
fat hog Miss Crane, eh!

- She needs a crane just
to get off the toilet.

- Can you imagine being that fat?

Like, I think if she sat on me,

she might kill me or something.

Her ass is the size of Wyoming,

unlike this tight little apple.

- Hannah, just become a porn star already

(slapping)

and get it over with.

(air blowing)

- Did I tell you who I was
going out with tonight?

- Terrence.

- How did you know that?

- You told me, moron.

- I did?

- Yep.

- Whatever.

I'm totally gonna fuck him.

I've never been with a brother before.

How was that, too big?

- Hannah, that's disgusting.

- What?

I heard they all have
hepatitis of the cock.

You should be with Shane Debellow.

- I don't want your sloppy seconds,

especially after I just
saw that heinous picture

of your baby maker.

Sloppy joes, anyone?

- Okay, all we ever did was kiss one time.

- My hair's like a frizz ball.

(phone keys beeping)

What are you doing?

- I'm accidentally sexting
Shane my new self portrait.

Oops!

Am I distributing child pornography?

(laughs)

Naughty me!

- Oh, my God.

- You're gonna be doing description,

example, and complex functions.

(cell phone buzzing)

You're covering even
more complex functions

and multipliers and
complex polynomials, okay?

- Holy shit!

- Remember that.

You're gonna have to know this stuff,

so make sure you have that handout.

Shane, is there something you'd like

to share with the class?

- No.

- Thank you.

So remember polynomials...

- You guys would make the cutest couple.

You're both just so smiley.

- Are you kidding me?

You just sent him a
picture of your vagina.

Sounds like you should
be going out with him.

- Okay, I am so over Shane Debellow,

but he's a good starter boyfriend.

You wanna go shopping after school?

- I can't.

I got play rehearsal.

- Fuck play rehearsal.

That's so lame.

- Fuck the play?

Yeah, like you'd be fine if I
was all, "Fuck ballet class."

- Then why don't we just go right now?

- You mean ditch?

- Yeah!

We'd go get massages, do some shopping,

be back by seventh period, bitch.

- You are a bad influence on me.

- And you love it.

(both giggling)

♪ New sneakers ♪

♪ Ipod speakers ♪

♪ Walkers, tweeters, hookers, skeezers ♪

♪ Kilos, ounces, condos, houses ♪

♪ Girlfriends, spouses,
plasma screen, couches ♪

♪ Bitches, business, taxes, exes ♪

♪ Spend them, breakfast, beemer, lexus ♪

♪ Vans, nike, misfits, wifey ♪

♪ Nobody spend money like me ♪

♪ Oh, my God ♪

♪ Here we go ♪

♪ Thousands on a stereo ♪

♪ Plane tickets to Tokyo ♪

♪ And Rio de Janeiro ♪

♪ Private jet, exotic pets ♪

♪ European erotic sex ♪

♪ Prada, Gucci, gotta check ♪

♪ Sushi from the finest chefs ♪

♪ Super glam, find a beach ♪

♪ You can tan, follow me ♪

♪ Drop your top ♪

♪ Let's take a pic ♪

♪ Scoop DeVille, drop the beat ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ I make your trunk all rattly ♪

(coughing)

♪ Your neighbors be all mad at me ♪

♪ I'm rolling with the roof off ♪

♪ Listening to Snoop Dog ♪

(laughing)

♪ Throwing veggies like confetti ♪

♪ Acting like douche ball ♪

- Did you see his face?

Oh, shit.

- I'm blown.

- Another fucking day right here.

- [Hannah] Popping off in here!

- [Hannah's Friend] Is my lip gloss cool?

- I wonder if there's like
penis flavored or something?

- Ew!

- Fuck, they're always grape.

I swear to God, every time.

- Shut up!

People are staring at you.
- Can they think

of a worse flavor than grape?

- Take it from me, you're so
lucky you don't have kids.

You're not married, are you?

- No.

(wax strip ripping)

- Ow!

Good, stay that way.

You know, when I was single,

all I wanted to do was get married.

You know, it's so drummed into our heads

ever since we're little girls.

You know, find a prince
charming and get married!

I don't know what the hell I was thinking.

- It can't be all bad.

How old are your boys now?

- Oh, Balthazar's seven and Orfie's five.

- Cute!

(wax strip ripping)

- Ow!

I don't get me wrong, you know.

Mine are good boys, and I
love them and everything.

It's just sometimes I
just wanna return them

just for a little while, you know?

Orfie's my baby, and he's
a little angel by himself,

but you put the two of them
together and it's bedlam.

I know a mother's not supposed
to say anything like this,

but I swear to God, if it was just Orfie,

things would be so much easier.

Balthazar is his father's son exactly.

I mean they even look identical,

and they're both stubborn,
sarcastic, and boring.

That's another thing.

You know, when I married
Leonard, I married him

because I thought he was stable.

You know, God knows I had been

with enough broke musicians in my life.

And he was responsible.

He could give me some security in my life.

All the stuff that looks good on paper,

but let me tell you something,

he is as boring as a textbook.

- When you need a lawyer,
you give me a call, okay?

(wax strip ripping)

- Ay!

- All done.

- Oh, my God.

- As smooth as a baby's behind.

Ah, Paige, you are a wizard with that wax!

- All right, Stella,
I'll see you out front.

- Thank you!

(sniffing)

Ah.

(sniffing)

Ay.

- Ah!

- I'm like, "Are you in me?"

I mean you can't fucking tell.

It's all the same thing.

You can't do anything
about it, I know but...

(oriental music)

- Scared to check my messages.

I was like is he gonna be going off on me?

I don't know what's going on with him.

The fuck is this?

Ew!

Ew!

Oh, my God!

What the fuck?

I don't know.

It was a booger or something.

Oh, my God.

Girl, so big.

(upbeat music)

♪ Uzi does it, Uzi does it ♪

♪ Uzi does it, take it slow ♪

♪ Uzi does it, Uzi does it ♪

♪ Uzi does it, hit the floor ♪

♪ Uzi does it, Uzi does it ♪

♪ Uzi does it, take it slow ♪

♪ Uzi does it, Uzi does it, Uzi does it ♪

♪ Yo my shit never jam ♪

♪ That's my jam ♪

♪ Never jam ♪

♪ That's my jam ♪

♪ Never jam ♪

♪ That's my jam ♪

♪ Never jam ♪

♪ Yo my shit never jam ♪

♪ That's my jam ♪

♪ Never jams ♪

♪ That's my jam ♪

♪ Never jams ♪

♪ That's my jam ♪

♪ Never jams ♪

♪ My Uzi weighs a ton ♪

♪ I got the coolest one ♪

♪ I ain't the toughest ♪

♪ But I know just how to use my gun ♪

♪ My Uzi weighs a ton ♪

♪ I got the coolest one ♪

♪ I ain't the toughest ♪

♪ But I know just how to use my gun ♪

♪ Just punch motherfuckers ♪

♪ This ain't rap ♪

♪ It's some other ♪

♪ This ain't rap ♪

♪ This some other ♪

♪ This ain't rap ♪

♪ This some other ♪

♪ The other burning rubbers ♪

♪ Girl your mother ♪

♪ Would be sick and woozy ♪

♪ If she knew I taught
her little daughter ♪

♪ How to grip an Uzi ♪

♪ I got that massive shit ♪

♪ Big old Iraq ass clips ♪

♪ Laid out ♪

(music fades out)

- Ma, ha.

- [Camera Man] We're live in 10, Dan.

- Oh, how am I doing?

Am I even?

(sniffs)

Any bats in the cave?

- [Camera Man] Immaculate as usual.

And...

Five, four, three...

- Hey, thanks, Pepper!

The Rolling Blackouts,
one of my favorite groups.

They had a string of top
40 hits back in the 1960s.

Great beat, easy to dance to.

Good evening, everybody.

Dan the weatherman!

Hey, instead of being
cooped up in the studio,

we're coming to you live
from beautiful downtown.

Now, it's a gorgeous night tonight,

but don't be lulled into
a false sense of security

because guess what, folks?

That's right, the Santa Ana
Winds are making a comeback.

(blowing)

Yes, those pesky, dry offshore winds

that are the result of a
build up of air pressure

in the high altitude Great
Basin between the Sierra Nevadas

and the beautiful Rocky Mountains.

Hey, interesting foot note.

There are more suicides in the southland

during the Santa Ana Winds than
any other time of the year.

So if you're feeling a little
blue, a little depressed,

please phone a friend or
call the suicide hotline.

Hey, let's get a check
of the week's weather.

See what we have in store for us.

Now, those dry drainage
winds are gonna be with us...

- Hey, forecast pain, bitch!

(popping)

- Jesus Christ, oh!

(rewinding)

Hey, let's get a check
of the week's weather

to see what we have in store for us.

Now those dry drainage winds...

(motor humming)

- It's forecast pain, bitch!

(popping)

- Jesus Christ!

(tires screeching)

- [Man] Yeah, that's fucking perfect!

- I've been shot!

- [Camera Man] Jesus!

- Oh, oh, my God!

Oh, my God, I'm bleeding.

Call 911!

- [Camera Man] It's just paint man.

- It's what?

- [Camera Man] Paint balls.

- Paint balls?

What the...

Well, did you get the
license plate numbers?

Is it on the camera?

God damn, cut.

Go to black!

(beeping)

♪ Fat pussy, big nipples ♪

♪ Love the way your body jiggles ♪

♪ Waiting on you, massage and candy ♪

♪ Got me fiending, the more you hand me ♪

♪ Seduce me, I'm hot and bothered ♪

♪ Your juiciness makes my mouth water ♪

♪ Like chicks, loop holes ♪

♪ Four X, walters ♪

♪ Tight water chest, got
a stretched out halter ♪

♪ Girl, you thicker than the most ♪

♪ Just working like a pro ♪

♪ I'm addicted ♪

♪ Can I ride you ♪

♪ I'll treat you like a goddess ♪

♪ Queen to those romantic kings ♪

♪ Cause I wanna get that prize from you ♪

♪ You like them real, real bitches ♪

♪ You know you wanna hit this ♪

♪ So won't you come and get this ♪

♪ Big pussy, it's on your wishlist ♪

♪ Oh, boy, just keep on moving ♪

♪ Don't stop, just do it, do it ♪

♪ Look down and watch me shake it ♪

- Hi.

- Hey!

- Andy!

- What's up, Brianne?

Yeah.

- Where have you been?

- I've been around.

- Yeah?

Haven't been here.

- I know, that's why I'm here now.

- Oh.

♪ Fucking bitches ain't shit ♪

♪ You better jump on the chance ♪

♪ You wanna roll with a pimp ♪

♪ Got bottles of Cris ♪

♪ And a pound dope ♪

♪ XP, let's now tempt me ♪

♪ Is you ready to go? ♪

- Andy!

- Come on, come on.

- I'm serious!

- I'll give you 40 extra
bucks if you touch me.

- Uh.

- All right, hear me out,
professional to professional,

I'll give you a hundred
dollars for a quick suck.

- I have a boyfriend.

- So?

What he doesn't know can't hurt him.

Come on, I'll be really quick.

I'm ready to pop right now.
- Andy!

I am not a hooker.

- I know you're not a hooker.

I know, it'll just be
like a one time thing.

All right?

Come on, we'll blame it on the whiskey.

I won't even remember
it happened tomorrow.

Come on!

(cell phone ringing)

Ah, fuck, shit!

Fuck!

(cell phone ringing)

Ah, fuck.

It's the president.

I'll call him back later.

Ah!

(spitting)

♪ Ain't no telling what tonight might go ♪

♪ Will I ever ♪

- Get the fuck out of the lady's room.

- Give me my fucking cut before Jordan

and have your ho ass thrown out of here.

Don't give me that shit.

I saw how much he paid you!

- Hey, honey, yeah, I'm
just leaving work now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's been a crazy night.

Yeah, no, I'm sorry I missed your call.

Pick up what?

(rewinding)

(motor humming)

(door beeping)

- Record guys dot listen
to songs on MySpace.

They go to live shows.

- How do you know what record guys do?

- Look, I don't care
how much self promotion

you do on the internet.

There's no substitute
for a good old fashioned

rock and roll show.

I mean it gets the adrenaline pumping.

Those are the things you
invite record people to.

- He's right about that, Willy.

It would be great to
invite some record execs

to some live gigs.

- Yeah, great, but where?

Just the diapers?

- No, I'll take a Buick
and a bald eagle, too.

Of course just the diapers!

That's why I brought just the
diapers up to the counter.

- Five 99.

- Asshole.

(cash register opening)

(receipt printing)

(bell ringing)

(bell ringing)

- What a dick!

(bell ringing)

- Should tell that guy to fuck off, man.

- Ah, right here.

- Right here what?

- Right here, you hold the
rock and roll show right here.

- In the store?

- I think it'd be kinda cool.

I mean it might get you some attention.

(door beeping)

- I think it's a stupid idea, man.

- Actually, I think that's
kind of a cool idea.

(door beeping)

- Yeah?

Yeah, maybe.

Yeah, yeah, I'm into it, man.

Let's fucking do it!

- Yeah!

- Wait, when I say it, it's a stupid idea.

She likes the idea and it's kinda cool.

You're pathetic.

(bell ringing)

Just remember it was my idea.

All right, I gotta go.

I gotta go see a man about a dog.

I'll see you later, gator.

(door beeping)

- You're gonna be rich and famous, really.

(kissing)

You're gonna be rich and famous.

(popping)

- Fuck!

Fuck you, yeah!

Fuck!

Fuck!

What the fuck!

(rewinding)

Later, gator.

(door beeping)

(paint ball men talking over each other)

- [Man] Hi, excuse me.

Hey, can you tell me where
Wilshire Boulevard is?

- Yeah, I think it's...

- [Man] Oh, yeah?

(popping)

- Fuck you!

(tires screeching)

Fuck you, yeah!

(laughing)

- [Man] Bitch!

(door beeping)

- What the fuck

is wrong with people?

People...

People...

People...

People...

(vacuum running)

- Put that there.

(yawning)

(heels clomping)

(zippering)

(heels clomping)

Hey, honey, it's me.

Don't wake up.

Sorry it's so late.

I just had to get that
report off to Tokyo tonight.

Anyway, hope you and the
dogs found something to eat.

Getting into the elevator.

I'll see you in a few.

Love you.

(creepy music)

(doors opening)

(heels clomping)

(woman screaming)

(banging)

- Ow!

(woman screaming)

Do you wanna get killed?

- No!

- Do you wanna get killed?

- No, no, no!

- Then shut the fuck up!

- Okay.

- Or else I'll put this
thing in your fucking throat.

- Okay, calm down.

- Get your fucking skirt.

Get down!

(woman screaming)

Open them!

(woman screaming)

(snoring)

(upbeat music)

♪ Can I be your friend ♪

♪ Mr. Alien ♪

♪ Can I join your team ♪

♪ Have a space ship dream ♪

♪ Hey, you know me ♪

♪ I'm just tending ♪

♪ To the median flowers ♪

♪ That double my hours ♪

♪ Just get holidays off ♪

♪ So I'm thinking ♪

♪ Of the old Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ And all of the power ♪

♪ It takes to like our lives ♪

♪ Fax your resume ♪

♪ To their office today ♪

♪ They might cast you in ♪

(music fades out)

(accordion fanfare)