Living Single (1993–1998): Season 2, Episode 3 - They've Gotta Have It - full transcript
Oh, look.
"To the beautiful Synclaire."
Signed, "Guess who?"
Oh, I wonder who they're from.
Who do you know that
likes you and is that corny?
Overton. Oh, but Overton
never likes to send flowers.
He says, "Things should not
die so that our love may live."
Still waters run deep.
You know what? I know
it's not Bobby Dougan.
We gonna hear
about Bobby Dougan.
He was my sixth
grade secret admirer.
He signed all of his
notes "Your secret admirer
Bobby Dougan."
It could be someone who works
at the dry cleaners, you know?
Someone who likes
your silk teddies.
Gives you unclaimed items.
Romances you for two
weeks and then just..
Up and leaves you for
some model/actress whatever.
It happens.
♪ We are living single ♪
♪ Ooh in a 90's kinda world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ What! ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right! ♪
♪ Whenever this life
gets tough you gotta fight ♪
♪ With my home girls standing
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue and
tight like glue ♪
♪ Check check check it out
check check check it out ♪
♪ What you want?
No free position ♪
♪ Ahhh ♪
Eukay, Max.
Question number nine.
After sex, I feel like,
A‐Cuddling, B‐Talking
or C‐Compulsively
washing my hands.
I'll say D.
Sending him out for snacks
and locking the door behind him.
Oh! Max, you wouldn't
really treat a man like that.
Remember that guy running
down the street with the pink robe
carrying a box of Fig Newtons.
That was one of hers.
Regine. Welcome home.
Oh, cheer up, Regine.
Look what I got.
Isn't it beautiful?
Bad day, huh?
Ugh. Bad would've
been a step up.
Okay. The brother
was fine, but he‐‐.
But he kept checking
himself out in the butter knife.
And‐and of course he
had a lot of money, but‐‐.
But he spent all night talking
about it to your cleavage.
You know what your problem is?
Besides, having an extra
mouth to feed at dinner time?
You choose your men
based on their income.
Oh. Are you suggesting I use
your method of chasing a man
a couple of miles to
see if he has stamina?
You date any man who can
breathe and reach for his wallet
at the same time.
Ooh. Words of wisdom
coming from Kyle's concubine.
Whoa! Okay. Alright now.
Alright yo, yo. Yo, yo, yo.
Only people who pay rent
are allowed to draw blood
in this apartment.
I'll write you a check.
Just black coffee for me.
Any new gifts from
Mr. Guess Who?
A beautiful box of
Swiss chocolates
in a multi‐layered package.
More like a chocolate
condo really, with a..
With a delicious tenant
in every room. Yum. Yum.
So, uh, who is this rascal
who obviously has
excellent taste in women?
Mmm. I'm thinking he's some
romantic and powerful diplomat
who spotted me when I
took the tour of the U. N.
‐ Oh. Really? ‐ Mm.
Or maybe that handsome
movie director that Khadijah
interviewed for the magazine
last week. Could be him.
How nice for you.
Maybe it is just some
inmate who saw your picture
and is doing push‐ups
while chanting your name.
Synclaire.
Synclaire.
'Hey, Regi, you're pretty
handy with a mystery.'
I was wondering what you..
She's on a scent.
Go girl. Sic him, sic him.
I can't believe you guys.
You think I'd go after a man
just because he
has a valid gold card.
You could see that from here?
Gregory Johnson. Card
member since 1987.
Regine, bravo.
Oh, why single out Regine?
Many a woman's head has been
turned by a flashy trick or two.
Some flowers, credit
card, American chocolates
in a Swiss box.
I sense he owns property.
Regine's my kind of woman.
Completely transparent.
I thought your kind of woman
was completely sedated.
Max. Stop throwing
yourself at me.
Stop it.
Just take your ass over there.
You know you can't fight it.
I can't believe you
all think so little of me.
I too have a smidge
of self‐control.
Ah, that is it.
I'm, I'm gonna
prove you all wrong.
Ginger ale, please.
Keep the change. Huh.
Give it up for Regine.
She paid for her own drink.
Thank you.
Overton, what are
you doing, man?
Getting some air.
The calf is going
with you, is she?
Just getting rid of this gift
from Synclaire's secret admirer
before she sees it.
Look man, I understand
you're a little jealous.
‐ But that's not right. ‐ No,
no. You don't understand.
‐ Mr. Guess Who? ‐ 'Mm‐hmm.'
I am he. He is me.
I was just trying to romance
her in my own special way.
By sending her gifts from
some other man. Ooh.
Clearly you revealed
a flaw in my plan.
Mm‐hmm.
I figured, look, I
give her a few gifts
she would guess who and
show me a little appreciation.
Know what I'm saying?
But now she probably
thinks her secret admirer
is some bigshot.
She'll be disappointed
to find out it's just me.
I know I am.
Man, the way she fantasized
about this guy, I felt like
I felt like Clark
Kent listening to
Lois Lane talk about Superman.
But in Superman too Clark
revealed his true identity
to Lois and they hooked up.
Yeah, and while
that was happening
the whole world was destroyed.
Man, I can't tell her now.
If I do that, she'll just laugh
at me the same way you did.
Overton, I'm not laughing
at you man, I'm just..
Laughing at the things you do.
Oh, what a tangled
web I've weaved.
Have weaved.
Woven?
'Hey, Regine.'
Don't you just hate it when
the Foodmart runs out of Advils.
Argh!
Oh, Regine, what's wrong?
Everything. I have
no self‐control.
After we all left the cafe
I tracked down Mr. Gold
Card Gregory Johnson.
How did you find him?
Simple. Scent and Fabric.
I identified his citrus
and sandalwood cologne
and tracked it to Scott
Henry's custom perfumery.
His suit, raw silk twill
undoubtedly Julian of
Paris, the silk twill king.
A quick cross reference
I had his address
and his phone number.
Ooh, you're good.
Listen, I'm trying to track
down my cousins in California.
I think they wear Brut.
They're not on my
side of the family.
Now, you know the
brother was fine, but he‐‐.
But he butter knife, to your
cleavage, blah, blah, blah.
Khadijah, what's my problem?
Which one?
Regine, you only date vain,
pretentious, superficial men.
Rich, though.
It's just not fun anymore.
I'm just, I'm just going
through the motions.
‐ May I offer a
suggestion? ‐ Mm.
Really? Thanks.
When I registered
for night school
I saw a listing for a seminar.
"Finding The You Within."
It's only $400, and the
instructor's this famous doctor
I saw on Oprah.
She made Oprah and Whoopi cry.
‐ For real? ‐ 'Yes.'
Regine, you are a fool if you
spend one dime on that crap.
But if you need help that bad,
for only 200 I'll make you cry.
‐ Shoot. ‐ Khadijah,
please, alright?
If I really want to sit in a
room full of unsatisfied women
yak, yak, yaking
about their problems
I'd stay around
and talk to you all.
I am Dr. Madeline Flaylin
and we are here to live better.
To love better.
To find the you within,
defining ourselves without men.
Welcome back,
ladies. And Dennis.
Fulfill.
Find your life first
if love is to last.
Know yourself. Need yourself.
Love yourself.
Alright, it's time to
stand and deliver.
Who from last week
would like to start us off?
There are no refunds.
So let's get things moving.
'Well, my name is Maxine, and..'
How are we supposed to make
pots up in here without any clay?
Well, well, well, if it isn't
Miss Hornier than thou.
You are in the wrong class.
Gold diggers, promiscuous
is down the hall.
You're calling me promiscuous?
‐ Doctor, question. ‐ Yes.
Is there something
wrong with a woman
who has to have the ceiling
fans removed from her home
because she keeps losing
the heels off of her shoes?
But, doctor, isn't it
worse to be a woman
who thinks of the
Fortune 500 as a to do list?
‐ Back, back, back!
‐ Ladies. Ladies!
Now, this room is supposed
to be a safe haven for women.
And Dennis.
'Now, Maxine and..'
Chiquan.
Maxine and Chiquan
need to realize something.
They're both two sides of
the same dysfunctional coin.
'It's all in my second book.'
"Two Sides Of The
Same Dysfunctional Coin."
Now, Maxine and Chiquan,
let's try a little something.
An exercise that you'll
find in your blue workbooks.
It's called Blue Workbook
Exercise Number Two.
It requires a little
bit of self‐revelation.
Now, Max here told us
all about herself last week.
In fact, we had to stay a
little overtime. Didn't we, max?
Max is what I like
to call a loan shark.
She's borrowed some heavy
grief from a few men in her life
and now she wants to pay
them all back with interest.
Now, Chiquan, as if
that's your real name
I'm guessing that you're
in a special category
I like to call Olympians.
I'm an Olympian.
You go for the gold,
but not your own
because you're too
afraid to compete.
You want a man to
run your race for you.
How do you know that?
It's not an exactly
unusual story, Chiquan.
How many in here are Olympians?
I have a home.
Now, this week I want
you all to date yourselves.
That means no
rendezvous with men.
‐ What? ‐ Uh‐uh, uh‐uh.
The point of this exercise is
to spend time with yourself.
Find yourself.
Need yourself.
Love yourself.
Let's take a five minute break.
Everyone out in the hallway.
We have coffee, cookies
and cassette tapes.
Good luck dating yourself,
Chiquan. You're gonna need it.
Lord knows how
you can afford it.
Oh, Max. Hey, girl.
You got a date finally without
yelling at the car window.
Movie starts in 20 minutes.
Come on, Khadijah, I
wanna get there early.
You know the preview is
always better than the movie.
So, uh, Synclaire
any new thoughts on the
identity of your secret admirer?
As a matter of fact, I haven't
heard from him in two days.
But I've been doing
some detective work.
Look at that headline.
‐ Peace pact in the
Middle East. ‐ Uh‐huh.
My secret admirer dropped out
of sight just when this happened.
See now, I'm no Regine.
But all fingers point to my
guy being the King of Jordan.
Hey. Sorry I'm late.
I was indisposed.
Hey, did you get that
grey hair out your back?
Overton, please.
He had a devil of a time
reaching, even with the tweeze.
Overton.
You'd have thought it'd be
easy. That sucker wasn't alone.
He was back there just pulling..
Oh. What's this?
It's addressed to me.
I bet it's from Mr. Guess Who.
Does it have a royal seal on it?
"My dearest Synclaire
"I've been convicted of a
terrible crime I did not commit.
"I have also contracted
"an extremely
contagious skin fungus."
"Further more, I've been drafted
by the French Foreign Legion."
"I feel this means
goodbye forever."
"Yours truly, Guess Who."
‐ Can you believe it?
‐ Ha ha ha. Just barely.
I'm, uh, really sorry about
your friend, Synclaire.
But he didn't
admire you secretly
half as much as I do publicly.
Aw. That's so sweet, Overton.
But Regine's gonna
be devastated.
Ever since she swore
off men yesterday
she has taken a
real interest in this.
Skin fungus?
It was a nice touch man.
Well, I couldn't
spell psoriasis.
You know, Regine, I'm throwing
a seminar of my own next week.
It's only a thousand bucks.
It's called "My
Roommate's A Fool."
Mock if you must.
But dating myself is going to
make me a much better woman.
Lonely and passively
bitter, but better.
If you say so. Go on, Synclaire.
Regine, I have some bad
news about my secret admirer.
Who cares?
She's in denial.
Alright now, Regine. You
have fun dating yourself.
Have your butt home by 11.
Don't you try anything funny.
Just starting your date?
Mine's over.
Took me all of 12 minutes
to be myself, know myself
love myself.
Quite frankly,
I'm sick of myself.
Well, I'm having a lovely time.
Candlelight, nice
dinner, chocolate.
And later on, I might
read a book with myself
or play dominoes with
myself or call up a radio station
and dedicate a song to myself.
Well, lookee here.
I'm taking my date up town.
You wanna ride shotgun?
You're ridiculous. I
cannot believe you.
You are compromising
everything that we're trying to do
and the whole
point of this seminar.
God, Max. I don't
know about you.
But me, I take my
self‐development very seriously.
I'm only going with you because
my date is dragging me along.
We're waiting.
So she brings this dress
in big pit stains and all
thinking I'll take it back
'cause it has the tags on it.
I said to her, pretty
to look at, nice to hold.
Once you make it
stink, sister, it's sold.
Doesn't she know if
you're gonna return
you've to wear dress shields?
I'm saying.
Oh, this is sad.
The best Saturday
night I've had in months.
And it's with you.
It just goes to show we don't
need men to have a good time.
You don't have to play the
mind games. We're in charge.
Yo. Two more.
I guess once you look at it
that way this is very liberating.
‐ To the sisterhood. ‐ Yes, yes.
I want a man!
Buy me a drink.
Tell me I'm cute.
I'm hopeless.
Alright, okay.
Now Regine, I
know you're in crisis
but you're also
embarrassing me. Okay?
Thank you.
Listen. There is nothing
wrong with wanting a man.
God put them here for
us. It's a beautiful thing.
But they can't complete us.
We have to do that ourselves.
If you are so well adjusted
why are you even
taking the seminar?
Because as much
as I hate to admit it
you and I are
not that different.
I mean, sure, hey,
I've got it going on.
But, uh, lately my
one night stands
haven't been as fulfilling
as they once were
and I knew I hit bottom
one morning when I woke up
next to a strange
man and it was..
Kyle.
Okay, breathe, breathe, breathe.
Come on, come back, come
back. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I'm sorry. I‐I didn't mean to
make you relive the incident.
The bottom line is, once we give
ourselves the respect we deserve
we empower ourselves to be free.
Free to choose a
man who deserves us
or to march on by ourselves.
Well, miss girl, you
really do know yourself.
I read in Dr. Madeline's
third book.
"Marching On By Ourselves."
Hey, you know what, Max.
I think we're gonna be okay.
I mean, we‐we can do this.
Take tonight. We did...
we did okay without men.
Are you kidding me?
We excelled without them.
'Ladies, Men Overboard
takes great pride in presenting'
'"Police And
Cowboys On Parade."'
Whoo!
Alright!
'Yeah!'
Shake it, shake it, shake it.
'Storing your letters from
Mr. Guess Who, Synclaire?'
'I suppose it's time for me to
put that part of my life away.'
'But you know,
it's a funny thing.
'Funny?'
'Well, yes. I've been thinking.'
'Every time I got something
from my secret admirer'
'you were nearby.'
'So what are you saying?
That I'm your secret admirer?'
'Be serious, Synclaire.'
'Next thing you'd be
telling me, I'm Superman.'
Whoo‐hoo!
♪ Ahhh ♪
"To the beautiful Synclaire."
Signed, "Guess who?"
Oh, I wonder who they're from.
Who do you know that
likes you and is that corny?
Overton. Oh, but Overton
never likes to send flowers.
He says, "Things should not
die so that our love may live."
Still waters run deep.
You know what? I know
it's not Bobby Dougan.
We gonna hear
about Bobby Dougan.
He was my sixth
grade secret admirer.
He signed all of his
notes "Your secret admirer
Bobby Dougan."
It could be someone who works
at the dry cleaners, you know?
Someone who likes
your silk teddies.
Gives you unclaimed items.
Romances you for two
weeks and then just..
Up and leaves you for
some model/actress whatever.
It happens.
♪ We are living single ♪
♪ Ooh in a 90's kinda world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ What! ♪
♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right! ♪
♪ Whenever this life
gets tough you gotta fight ♪
♪ With my home girls standing
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue and
tight like glue ♪
♪ Check check check it out
check check check it out ♪
♪ What you want?
No free position ♪
♪ Ahhh ♪
Eukay, Max.
Question number nine.
After sex, I feel like,
A‐Cuddling, B‐Talking
or C‐Compulsively
washing my hands.
I'll say D.
Sending him out for snacks
and locking the door behind him.
Oh! Max, you wouldn't
really treat a man like that.
Remember that guy running
down the street with the pink robe
carrying a box of Fig Newtons.
That was one of hers.
Regine. Welcome home.
Oh, cheer up, Regine.
Look what I got.
Isn't it beautiful?
Bad day, huh?
Ugh. Bad would've
been a step up.
Okay. The brother
was fine, but he‐‐.
But he kept checking
himself out in the butter knife.
And‐and of course he
had a lot of money, but‐‐.
But he spent all night talking
about it to your cleavage.
You know what your problem is?
Besides, having an extra
mouth to feed at dinner time?
You choose your men
based on their income.
Oh. Are you suggesting I use
your method of chasing a man
a couple of miles to
see if he has stamina?
You date any man who can
breathe and reach for his wallet
at the same time.
Ooh. Words of wisdom
coming from Kyle's concubine.
Whoa! Okay. Alright now.
Alright yo, yo. Yo, yo, yo.
Only people who pay rent
are allowed to draw blood
in this apartment.
I'll write you a check.
Just black coffee for me.
Any new gifts from
Mr. Guess Who?
A beautiful box of
Swiss chocolates
in a multi‐layered package.
More like a chocolate
condo really, with a..
With a delicious tenant
in every room. Yum. Yum.
So, uh, who is this rascal
who obviously has
excellent taste in women?
Mmm. I'm thinking he's some
romantic and powerful diplomat
who spotted me when I
took the tour of the U. N.
‐ Oh. Really? ‐ Mm.
Or maybe that handsome
movie director that Khadijah
interviewed for the magazine
last week. Could be him.
How nice for you.
Maybe it is just some
inmate who saw your picture
and is doing push‐ups
while chanting your name.
Synclaire.
Synclaire.
'Hey, Regi, you're pretty
handy with a mystery.'
I was wondering what you..
She's on a scent.
Go girl. Sic him, sic him.
I can't believe you guys.
You think I'd go after a man
just because he
has a valid gold card.
You could see that from here?
Gregory Johnson. Card
member since 1987.
Regine, bravo.
Oh, why single out Regine?
Many a woman's head has been
turned by a flashy trick or two.
Some flowers, credit
card, American chocolates
in a Swiss box.
I sense he owns property.
Regine's my kind of woman.
Completely transparent.
I thought your kind of woman
was completely sedated.
Max. Stop throwing
yourself at me.
Stop it.
Just take your ass over there.
You know you can't fight it.
I can't believe you
all think so little of me.
I too have a smidge
of self‐control.
Ah, that is it.
I'm, I'm gonna
prove you all wrong.
Ginger ale, please.
Keep the change. Huh.
Give it up for Regine.
She paid for her own drink.
Thank you.
Overton, what are
you doing, man?
Getting some air.
The calf is going
with you, is she?
Just getting rid of this gift
from Synclaire's secret admirer
before she sees it.
Look man, I understand
you're a little jealous.
‐ But that's not right. ‐ No,
no. You don't understand.
‐ Mr. Guess Who? ‐ 'Mm‐hmm.'
I am he. He is me.
I was just trying to romance
her in my own special way.
By sending her gifts from
some other man. Ooh.
Clearly you revealed
a flaw in my plan.
Mm‐hmm.
I figured, look, I
give her a few gifts
she would guess who and
show me a little appreciation.
Know what I'm saying?
But now she probably
thinks her secret admirer
is some bigshot.
She'll be disappointed
to find out it's just me.
I know I am.
Man, the way she fantasized
about this guy, I felt like
I felt like Clark
Kent listening to
Lois Lane talk about Superman.
But in Superman too Clark
revealed his true identity
to Lois and they hooked up.
Yeah, and while
that was happening
the whole world was destroyed.
Man, I can't tell her now.
If I do that, she'll just laugh
at me the same way you did.
Overton, I'm not laughing
at you man, I'm just..
Laughing at the things you do.
Oh, what a tangled
web I've weaved.
Have weaved.
Woven?
'Hey, Regine.'
Don't you just hate it when
the Foodmart runs out of Advils.
Argh!
Oh, Regine, what's wrong?
Everything. I have
no self‐control.
After we all left the cafe
I tracked down Mr. Gold
Card Gregory Johnson.
How did you find him?
Simple. Scent and Fabric.
I identified his citrus
and sandalwood cologne
and tracked it to Scott
Henry's custom perfumery.
His suit, raw silk twill
undoubtedly Julian of
Paris, the silk twill king.
A quick cross reference
I had his address
and his phone number.
Ooh, you're good.
Listen, I'm trying to track
down my cousins in California.
I think they wear Brut.
They're not on my
side of the family.
Now, you know the
brother was fine, but he‐‐.
But he butter knife, to your
cleavage, blah, blah, blah.
Khadijah, what's my problem?
Which one?
Regine, you only date vain,
pretentious, superficial men.
Rich, though.
It's just not fun anymore.
I'm just, I'm just going
through the motions.
‐ May I offer a
suggestion? ‐ Mm.
Really? Thanks.
When I registered
for night school
I saw a listing for a seminar.
"Finding The You Within."
It's only $400, and the
instructor's this famous doctor
I saw on Oprah.
She made Oprah and Whoopi cry.
‐ For real? ‐ 'Yes.'
Regine, you are a fool if you
spend one dime on that crap.
But if you need help that bad,
for only 200 I'll make you cry.
‐ Shoot. ‐ Khadijah,
please, alright?
If I really want to sit in a
room full of unsatisfied women
yak, yak, yaking
about their problems
I'd stay around
and talk to you all.
I am Dr. Madeline Flaylin
and we are here to live better.
To love better.
To find the you within,
defining ourselves without men.
Welcome back,
ladies. And Dennis.
Fulfill.
Find your life first
if love is to last.
Know yourself. Need yourself.
Love yourself.
Alright, it's time to
stand and deliver.
Who from last week
would like to start us off?
There are no refunds.
So let's get things moving.
'Well, my name is Maxine, and..'
How are we supposed to make
pots up in here without any clay?
Well, well, well, if it isn't
Miss Hornier than thou.
You are in the wrong class.
Gold diggers, promiscuous
is down the hall.
You're calling me promiscuous?
‐ Doctor, question. ‐ Yes.
Is there something
wrong with a woman
who has to have the ceiling
fans removed from her home
because she keeps losing
the heels off of her shoes?
But, doctor, isn't it
worse to be a woman
who thinks of the
Fortune 500 as a to do list?
‐ Back, back, back!
‐ Ladies. Ladies!
Now, this room is supposed
to be a safe haven for women.
And Dennis.
'Now, Maxine and..'
Chiquan.
Maxine and Chiquan
need to realize something.
They're both two sides of
the same dysfunctional coin.
'It's all in my second book.'
"Two Sides Of The
Same Dysfunctional Coin."
Now, Maxine and Chiquan,
let's try a little something.
An exercise that you'll
find in your blue workbooks.
It's called Blue Workbook
Exercise Number Two.
It requires a little
bit of self‐revelation.
Now, Max here told us
all about herself last week.
In fact, we had to stay a
little overtime. Didn't we, max?
Max is what I like
to call a loan shark.
She's borrowed some heavy
grief from a few men in her life
and now she wants to pay
them all back with interest.
Now, Chiquan, as if
that's your real name
I'm guessing that you're
in a special category
I like to call Olympians.
I'm an Olympian.
You go for the gold,
but not your own
because you're too
afraid to compete.
You want a man to
run your race for you.
How do you know that?
It's not an exactly
unusual story, Chiquan.
How many in here are Olympians?
I have a home.
Now, this week I want
you all to date yourselves.
That means no
rendezvous with men.
‐ What? ‐ Uh‐uh, uh‐uh.
The point of this exercise is
to spend time with yourself.
Find yourself.
Need yourself.
Love yourself.
Let's take a five minute break.
Everyone out in the hallway.
We have coffee, cookies
and cassette tapes.
Good luck dating yourself,
Chiquan. You're gonna need it.
Lord knows how
you can afford it.
Oh, Max. Hey, girl.
You got a date finally without
yelling at the car window.
Movie starts in 20 minutes.
Come on, Khadijah, I
wanna get there early.
You know the preview is
always better than the movie.
So, uh, Synclaire
any new thoughts on the
identity of your secret admirer?
As a matter of fact, I haven't
heard from him in two days.
But I've been doing
some detective work.
Look at that headline.
‐ Peace pact in the
Middle East. ‐ Uh‐huh.
My secret admirer dropped out
of sight just when this happened.
See now, I'm no Regine.
But all fingers point to my
guy being the King of Jordan.
Hey. Sorry I'm late.
I was indisposed.
Hey, did you get that
grey hair out your back?
Overton, please.
He had a devil of a time
reaching, even with the tweeze.
Overton.
You'd have thought it'd be
easy. That sucker wasn't alone.
He was back there just pulling..
Oh. What's this?
It's addressed to me.
I bet it's from Mr. Guess Who.
Does it have a royal seal on it?
"My dearest Synclaire
"I've been convicted of a
terrible crime I did not commit.
"I have also contracted
"an extremely
contagious skin fungus."
"Further more, I've been drafted
by the French Foreign Legion."
"I feel this means
goodbye forever."
"Yours truly, Guess Who."
‐ Can you believe it?
‐ Ha ha ha. Just barely.
I'm, uh, really sorry about
your friend, Synclaire.
But he didn't
admire you secretly
half as much as I do publicly.
Aw. That's so sweet, Overton.
But Regine's gonna
be devastated.
Ever since she swore
off men yesterday
she has taken a
real interest in this.
Skin fungus?
It was a nice touch man.
Well, I couldn't
spell psoriasis.
You know, Regine, I'm throwing
a seminar of my own next week.
It's only a thousand bucks.
It's called "My
Roommate's A Fool."
Mock if you must.
But dating myself is going to
make me a much better woman.
Lonely and passively
bitter, but better.
If you say so. Go on, Synclaire.
Regine, I have some bad
news about my secret admirer.
Who cares?
She's in denial.
Alright now, Regine. You
have fun dating yourself.
Have your butt home by 11.
Don't you try anything funny.
Just starting your date?
Mine's over.
Took me all of 12 minutes
to be myself, know myself
love myself.
Quite frankly,
I'm sick of myself.
Well, I'm having a lovely time.
Candlelight, nice
dinner, chocolate.
And later on, I might
read a book with myself
or play dominoes with
myself or call up a radio station
and dedicate a song to myself.
Well, lookee here.
I'm taking my date up town.
You wanna ride shotgun?
You're ridiculous. I
cannot believe you.
You are compromising
everything that we're trying to do
and the whole
point of this seminar.
God, Max. I don't
know about you.
But me, I take my
self‐development very seriously.
I'm only going with you because
my date is dragging me along.
We're waiting.
So she brings this dress
in big pit stains and all
thinking I'll take it back
'cause it has the tags on it.
I said to her, pretty
to look at, nice to hold.
Once you make it
stink, sister, it's sold.
Doesn't she know if
you're gonna return
you've to wear dress shields?
I'm saying.
Oh, this is sad.
The best Saturday
night I've had in months.
And it's with you.
It just goes to show we don't
need men to have a good time.
You don't have to play the
mind games. We're in charge.
Yo. Two more.
I guess once you look at it
that way this is very liberating.
‐ To the sisterhood. ‐ Yes, yes.
I want a man!
Buy me a drink.
Tell me I'm cute.
I'm hopeless.
Alright, okay.
Now Regine, I
know you're in crisis
but you're also
embarrassing me. Okay?
Thank you.
Listen. There is nothing
wrong with wanting a man.
God put them here for
us. It's a beautiful thing.
But they can't complete us.
We have to do that ourselves.
If you are so well adjusted
why are you even
taking the seminar?
Because as much
as I hate to admit it
you and I are
not that different.
I mean, sure, hey,
I've got it going on.
But, uh, lately my
one night stands
haven't been as fulfilling
as they once were
and I knew I hit bottom
one morning when I woke up
next to a strange
man and it was..
Kyle.
Okay, breathe, breathe, breathe.
Come on, come back, come
back. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I'm sorry. I‐I didn't mean to
make you relive the incident.
The bottom line is, once we give
ourselves the respect we deserve
we empower ourselves to be free.
Free to choose a
man who deserves us
or to march on by ourselves.
Well, miss girl, you
really do know yourself.
I read in Dr. Madeline's
third book.
"Marching On By Ourselves."
Hey, you know what, Max.
I think we're gonna be okay.
I mean, we‐we can do this.
Take tonight. We did...
we did okay without men.
Are you kidding me?
We excelled without them.
'Ladies, Men Overboard
takes great pride in presenting'
'"Police And
Cowboys On Parade."'
Whoo!
Alright!
'Yeah!'
Shake it, shake it, shake it.
'Storing your letters from
Mr. Guess Who, Synclaire?'
'I suppose it's time for me to
put that part of my life away.'
'But you know,
it's a funny thing.
'Funny?'
'Well, yes. I've been thinking.'
'Every time I got something
from my secret admirer'
'you were nearby.'
'So what are you saying?
That I'm your secret admirer?'
'Be serious, Synclaire.'
'Next thing you'd be
telling me, I'm Superman.'
Whoo‐hoo!
♪ Ahhh ♪