Living Single (1993–1998): Season 2, Episode 2 - I Love This Game - full transcript

Khadijah is challenged to a rematch by her school basketball rival when she accuses Khadijah of cheating to get an MVP trophy.

No, this is my
first time online.

Who have you met so far?

No good makin' that up.

Synclaire, if you're gonna
answer those voices in your head

don't do it out loud.

Khadijah, did you know we
could use Flavor's computer

to go online and chat with
people from across the country?

Synclaire, did you know
there's an unemployment line

where you can chat
with out of work people

from across the city?

Now, where's that letter
I asked you to type?



Be right back.

D‐e‐ar, s‐s‐ir.

How is it that you could
type so fast with that computer

but you can't do
anything with that?

Baffling, isn't it?

♪ We are living single ♪

♪ Ooh in a 90's kinda world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ What ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪

♪ With my home girl standing
to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue, we
tight like glue ♪

♪ Check, check, check it out
check, check, check it out ♪



♪ What you want?
No free position ♪

♪ Ahhh ♪

Khadijah James.

Please don't let that
be Denise Hatcher.

Damn. It's Denise Hatcher.

So who's your friend?

Remember that city all‐star
team I played on in high school.

Denise was on it too.

Must have been
some clerical error.

Hm, it was the 11 best
basketball players in the city.

And Khadijah.

So this is like a reunion.

Why are you here?

Page 48 of your
so called magazine.

"But the nail in the coffin of
Brooklyn Hues Lady BlueKnights

"is their hotheaded
coach, Denise Hatcher

whose leadership will
land the team in last place."

I don't make these predictions,
my sportswriter does.

And she based it on
your team's record.

Nothing personal.

It's always been personal
with you, Khadijah.

Even in high school,
whenever our teams met

you were always trying to
prove you were my equal.

I think I proved that one when
I won the all‐star MVP trophy.

Ooh, good one.

You know, if I were you, I
wouldn't brag about that trophy.

As hard as you
cheated to get it.

Please. You tried to steal
my pass when I was about

to make the game‐winning basket.

Oh, I tried to steal your pass?

Did I stutter?

Look, Denise, you
always been a sore loser

and you'll always be second
best to Khadijah "All‐Chain" James.

Kink‐kink.

Why don't we play a
little one on one to see

if I can handle your
game. Small Chain.

Winner takes home that
MVP trophy... you stole.

Oh, Nise, I don't have time to
entertain ridiculous challenges

from old rivals who
need their ego stroked.

I'm a busy woman.

Yes, yes, I can see you've
been very busy workin' out.

When and where?

I'll reserve the old gym
for Sunday at three.

Bam!

See you, Sunday.

Bam.

And you can order your
airline tickets... just like that.

Oh, my. Now, Kyle, your online
name is Chocolate Thunder.

Well, Chocolate Lover
and Chocolate Desire

were already taken.

I'm sure Simple Simon was free.

So is Yaking Unemployed
Shrew, care to log on.

Didn't think so.

Anyway, Synclaire

say I want today's
stock market report.

First, I access
prodigious business forum

then I access the
stock market forum

I press this this
this and then... voila.

‐ Today's stock
market report. ‐ Yes.

Or you could just turn
to the financial section.

And voila.

Hey, what is wrong
with the phone?

It's hooked up to
the computer there.

Thanks to chocolate blunder.

Kyle, I've been calling
here for the last five minutes.

If I hadn't run into Scooter,
I would've to lug those bags

all the way here
from the corner.

She was hailing a
cab when I saw her.

Whoa! Hey, babe.

Mwah!

Did you find the trophy?

No, it's somewhere
in one of these closets.

I thought you said the trophy
was your treasured keepsake.

That's why I keep it tucked
away and wrapped up in a sock.

Look, the point is, Denise
and I have been playing ball

against each other
since 9th grade.

From the start she thought she
was like God's gift to the game.

Well, I'm here to
tell you she's not.

Calls herself a finesse player.

Big mess player
is what I call her.

So I take it
there's no love lost.

Well, see things got kinda
ugly when Khadijah and Denise

were put on the same
all‐star team together.

Remember, Scooter? Okay, the
team was down by a point, right.

And Denise and Khadijah were
under the basket right near me

in my killer cheerleader
outfit with a midriff sweater.

‐ And the killer skirt
with‐‐ ‐ Ahem. Ahem.

Okay, anyway, uh, Becky Johnson,
tiny Becky Johnson throws up

an alley‐oop and Khadijah
and Denise both go for it.

Yeah, you're right. That's
when you stepped on her foot.

I did not step on her foot,
she stepped in front of my pass.

Yeah, that‐that's
right. I'm sorry.

I mean she stepped
in front of your pass

and... wedged a foot
underneath yours.

'Yo, Small Chain.'

Is that Denise?

She's outside, dribbling.

'Hope you raise up
to the game, Khadijah.'

'And not just that
stupid look on your face.'

I'm gonna bring this,
so you could look at it

before I put it back
in my display case.

'Incoming.'

"Warning, this is a basketball

"in the wrong hands it becomes..

A brick."

All this taunting
and name calling.

Two people and no religion

except for winning,
winning, winning.

God, I miss the courtroom.

Alright, babes, you got it.
Come on. Come on. You got it.

‐ Unh! ‐ Oh!

Yeah!

You blocked three shots
in a row. My girl has game.

Well, now that I got you all
warmed up, I can play for real.

Thanks for going
easy on me, Obie.

Oh, I think you left yo‐your
long over there, man.

You know, I've never been
more ready for anything in my life.

I'm gonna win.

Heads up.

I'm gonna lose.

I'm telling you man, it
was like the girl had wings.

Denise bounced the
ball off the backboard

got her own rebound, somewhere
like, oh, let's just say here.

Right and..

Of course, a light fixture here
wouldn't really make much sense.

Now will it?

Nice try, Overton, but I think

Denise jumped a
little higher than that.

It's like she can see
straight through to your soul.

The girl was
unbelievable. Like this..

So I said, "Look how short I'm."

I can't reach all
the way up there."

Alright, I called Overton
just to see how practice went.

And it ain't too late for
you to fake an injury.

Fake an injury?
Please. That's weak.

Khadijah, as soon
as the ball is tossed up

just give that girl
elbow to the jaw.

Oh, Max, please, later
for your pillow talk, huh.

Ack. Ew.

Look, you are all wasting your
breath 'cause I'm not playing.

What?

Khadijah, you're not
thinkin' about quittin'?

I ain't thinkin' about it,
I'm committed to the idea.

Khadijah, that is
just stinkin' thinkin'.

I want you to lift
your chin and win.

Yeah, I gotta agree with
my little Maya Angelou here.

‐ Come on, girl. You can't
quit. ‐ Please, can and should.

You need to put this
petty sandbox feud behind.

For my favorite girl,
on and off the court.

‐ Thank you, ba‐‐. ‐
She doesn't deserve these.

‐ She's quittin'. ‐
Give me my flowers.

What's this about
you backin' out?

Well, Scoot, she's afraid
she's gonna get waxed

just 'cause she's
goin' up against

the female Michael Jordan.

And I can't really
argue with that.

Oh, Khadijah, come on,
you're a young black woman

with a college degree,
running your own business.

You dismiss the odds every day.

Now, this game is no different.

You really think I can win?

Well, my granddaddy used
to say there are no longshots.

Odds are always 50‐50,
either you win or you don't.

Wait‐wait. Isn't this
the same granddaddy

who used to always lose his
tax refund plan in numbers.

Not always, Kyle.

Grandpa Wakefield may have
been a dreamer, but he paid off once.

And I'd expect you to remember

since you were the direct
beneficiary of said winnings.

What are you talking
about, Overton?

Well, I'll tell you.

You remember the time you
mama locked her beer room

so you couldn't go to her
purse to steal ice cream money

and I bought you that bon pop.

Well, that 10 cents was
courtesy of Grandpa Wakefield.

The dreamer.

Okay, anyway, Khadijah

if you beat Denise you
can hold it over her head

for the rest of your life.

Much the same way that I
would never let Kyle forget

that he stole money
from his mama's purse.

I was five.

It'd be kinda nice to shut
her up once and for all.

Get her to admit that
I earned that trophy.

To laugh in the face of
that no‐coachin' flagpole.

Alright, Khadijah, first you're
playin' then you're not playin'

I've invited all my
online computer friends.

Is there gonna be a game or not?

You tell 'em to come
'cause I'm playin'.

Yeah! Alright! Alright! Yes!

Oh, yeah! Alright, um‐hm.

‐ Big turnout. ‐ Yeah.

Yeah, those are my online
friends I've been chatting with.

Now that we're here, we've
got nothing to say to each other.

‐ Aren't you Branford
Marsalis? ‐ Yeah.

‐ I'm with the online
group. ‐ Me too.

Really? Well, my handle
is Buckshot LeFonque.

‐ Buckshot
LeFonque. ‐ That's it.

My handle is Synclaire James.

‐ Really? What's your real
name? ‐ Synclaire James.

Branford Marsalis, Kyle
Barker, fan. Where's Wayne?

He's right behind me in the
jazz section at any record store.

Denise Hatcher.

Do I know you?

Regine, Regine Hunter.
Oh, you remember.

Your boyfriend dumped you so
he could take me to your prom.

But what you probably don't
know is that I stood him up anyway.

Enjoy the game.

'Alright, alright, alright.'

'Yeah.'

Alright, this is 15 minutes
one‐on‐one basketball.

'Winner takes that
trophy. Good luck to you.'

'Come on. Come on.'

Go Khadijah. Go
Khadijah. Go Khadijah.

Oh, Khadijah. Oh, Khadijah.

Alright. Get back. Come on.

That's alright. That's alright,
baby. That's alright. Come on.

Come on, come on, come on.

This is it, baby. Wear it
out. Come on. You got it.

Ah, Scooter, you got to
just give it up, give it up.

Time out.

Yes! Yes. Alright.

Look here, Khadijah.

I can't think of a
single thing to say.

I've been watching,
your girl, Denise

she can't dribble to her left.

Now, you force her to
the left, game is yours.

Okay. To the left.

Wait a minute, you're gonna
need some more help than that.

Come on y'all, let's pray.

Lord, please give
Khadijah some skills.

For she humiliate not only
herself but those who love her

and are seen daily in
public with her. Amen.

Amen.

Hey, remember, she
can't go to her left.

Okay, left.

‐ 'That's right.' ‐ You ready?

Ha!

Ah!

Aah!

Yes!

Look, Khadijah, why
don't we just call it a day?

You're... you're
ready to forfeit?

I'm trying to do you a favor,
you can barely stand up.

Look, Denise, I will play
you on one leg if I have to.

See, basketball is your life
and I haven't played in years.

So the way I see it,
if I score one basket.

I'll leave here with
my self‐respect.

Hmm, well, guess I'm
gonna have to take the trophy

and that too.

It's shut out time.

Well, if you think that you
could swing it then bring it.

Huh.

Uh‐uh. Uh‐uh.

See ya.

You know what, you can
block as many shots as you want

you still don't have any points.

You know, Denise,
you shouldn't dribble it..

I knew you could do it.
I knew you could do it.

‐ I knew you could do it. ‐
You knew I could do what?

Lose technically,
but win spiritually.

So, uh, Kadijah.

Hand it over, come.

Go ahead, take it. But
it still has my name on it.

Hmm. Not anymore.

Bam!

But you know what, Khadijah.

You showed a lot
of heart out there.

You get much respect.

Alright, so admit it.

I earned that trophy
in high school.

To be honest, I wedged
my foot under yours

and you still made the shot.

And you deserve to be the MVP.

Hear that? No need
to dwell in the past.

I'll just write about it in
my next issue of Flavor.

Well, if you do

uh, make sure you print a
picture of me holding this.

I'll get my cartoonist
on it right away.

Come on, y'all. Let's celebrate.

Yeah!

Ooh, ooh. Ooh! Oh.

I'm comin', baby.

It hurts.

Ah! Yeah!

Mwah!

Hey!

Bring the ladder back!

Help!

Whoo‐hoo!

♪ Ahhh ♪