Living Single (1993–1998): Season 1, Episode 6 - Great Expectations - full transcript
'I know I slept
with your brother.'
'But I'm sorry, Brad.
It just happened.'
'So did Pearl Harbor,
Monica.' So did Pearl Harbor.'
Synclaire, what are
doing watching that junk?
Shh, that's Brad.
His wife slept with his
brother at the same time
his sister was killed
in a car accident.
They're looking for a
replacement surrogate
and they've got the baby on ice.
Really?
'And what about the, the baby?'
Girl, you should
see me. I looked‐‐
‐ Shh! ‐ What's going on?
'Brad, maybe this isn't
a good time to tell you'
'but your brother's
had a sex change'
'and I'm a lesbian.'
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
You know that's.. Ain't nothin'
Later today on "Oprah."
Lonely woman
who waste their lives
watching television.
♪ Check check check it out
check check check it out ♪
♪ What you want?
No free position ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Yes we're living
the single life yeah ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh and in a
'90s kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up what? ♪
♪ Keep your head
up that's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪
♪ With my homegirls standing
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ And in a '90s kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Haaaa ♪
Do you think when they order
American takeout in China
they have trouble using forks?
Synclaire, you ask
us that every week.
That's 'cause you
never answer me.
Well, looks like we gotta
make choice this week.
That "Barnaby Jones" from
last Saturday wraps up tonight.
And there's a fire sale on
the home shopping channel.
‐ Ooh! ‐ 'Oh, and
on what's happening.'
"Rewound, Auditions
For The Gong Show."
‐ Hand me the remote,
please. ‐ No, no, no, no.
I'm not going out like that.
I'm not gonna sit here and
watch you get all worked up
over chubby brother in a beret.
Like you have somethin'
better to do. Hmph.
That's not the point.
Every Saturday, Synclaire asks
about those damn chopsticks
and you sit here studying
that TV guide like it's "Playgirl."
Well, you have your
fun, I have mine, okay?
This is pathetic.
I mean, no dates,
no plans, no men.
We gotta get out.
I don't live here. I am out.
I'm talking about getting
in the mix, mackin'.
You know I'm sayin'?
Gettin' in with some men.
Not just hanging
out with the girls.
We can invite some boys over.
I need a real man.
And real men ain't just gonna
come knocking at our door.
What's everybody staring at?
You wouldn't even understand.
So what are you guys up to?
Well, it's Saturday night.
We're here for Chinese
food and "Barnaby" Part II.
Don't get too comfortable.
We're about to
get up out of here.
Let's go to the movies.
You can't mack at the
movies. It's too dark.
‐ Oh, what about jazz club?
‐ Nah. I hate the saxophone.
Sounds like a man begging.
Like you'd know.
Hey, what about Coney Island?
Sure, I haven't been
mugged in a while.
You women are so indecisive.
Men, on the other hand
move with a swift and
deliberate purpose.
Goes back to prehistoric times
when we men were the hunters
and you women did
what we told you to.
And you liked it.
What?
Well, the brother got guts.
You gotta give him that.
‐ Whoo! I am exhausted.
‐ Hard day at work?
Clearance sale at Wig World.
Regine, help. You're always
hooked onto something.
Tell us what's going on tonight.
Well, if you're very,
very nice to me
I could get you on the
guest list tonight at Club Zina.
‐ Zina? ‐ My
friend Ty is the DJ.
I heard that place is
the bomb. I'm down.
I don't know. The
Club Zina's tired.
There's nothing but a
bunch of brothers there
with beepers and gold teeth
talking about "Babe, I'd like"
to put you on a plate and
sop you up with a biscuit."
Well, if I had a nickel
for every time I
heard Kyle say that.
Coney Island means
corn dogs for all.
Are you all comin' or not?
Well, you can count us in.
Alright, but I can only
bring three people.
Well, Max says she's not going
and Synclaire's
got corn dog fever.
So that leaves two tickets.
One for me and Overton.
Wait a minute.
You mean if we go,
Kyle gets dissed?
Suddenly I feel like dancing.
♪ Go go yes uh uh ♪
You know, you are colder
than your bed at night.
But that's okay.
I don't need you
to get into a club.
Kyle Barker has more
juice than Minute Maid.
Yeah, Overton
Jones has more pull
than the elastic on
a fat lady's drawer.
Let's go.
Alright, so it's on.
We are going to
Club Zina tonight.
‐ 'That's right.' ‐ Yo!
I gotta go and
pick out some hair.
Hurry up, Regine. We gotta
roll all the way out to Manhattan.
I've got men to meet.
Well, I guarantee you if
there are any brothers there
with gold teeth,
they'll be all yours truly
the gold‐tooth magnet.
You remember that
Public Enemy concert?
I couldn't shake
Flava Flav for a week.
Yeah, but you got a fat clock
medallion out of it, didn't you?
Anybody seen my ponytail? I
wanna have that whip action.
Well, ain't none of us gonna
get no action if you don't hurry up.
Alright, alright.
So what do you
think of this outfit?
‐ That's the one.
‐ I couldn't curve.
‐ Looks good. ‐ I better change.
Honestly, I don't know anybody
that puts that much
effort into getting ready.
♪ I am everything ♪
♪ Everything is me ♪
Damn, I'm a good‐lookin' man.
'Come on, Kyle, quit
hoggin' up the bathroom.'
Perfection takes
time, my brother.
Hey, what's all
this stuff anyway?
Grooming aids for
a man of the '90s.
You should always start
with a mild astringent.
It removes excess
oils from the skin.
Yeah, it also takes
price tags off a new tool.
I'm assuming.
The kid is definitely not
comin' home alone tonight.
Ah, shall I break out
the guest toothbrush, sir?
No, tonight I'm looking
for the kind of woman
that brings her own.
‐ Bow‐wow. ‐ Bow‐wow.
But, hey, you are
a true romantic.
Damn, man, is that you?
Yeah, you like it?
It's my new cologne, Pogo.
Smells like Polo
but at a mere
fraction of the cost.
Brother, nobody's gonna
smell as cheap as you tonight.
Synclaire, what are you doing?
I'm putting on my
fragrance. Want some?
No, thanks. I'll take mine
straight out of the bottle.
You know,
Khadijah, if I ever get
these control top drawers on..
This could be a lot of fun.
Word up, it's been a while
since we've been out clubbin'.
And for freakshoot
I'm gonna make
the most out of this.
Remember how we used to
give fake names to the guys
who would try to talk to us?
I was Alexus.
I was Dominique, right?
Ooh, tonight I'll be Shaquan.
Yes!
That suits me, yes.
Alright, alright, alright.
I am ready to go.
I got this slammin'
outfit on and my ponytail.
You know what I'm sayin'?
Whip that. That's
what I'm sayin'.
Oh, we all look good tonight.
Yes!
♪ She's a brick house ♪
♪ Dum dum dum dum ♪
♪ Dum dum dum dum ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ She's mighty mighty
just lettin' it all hang out ♪
♪ She's a brick house ♪
♪ Dum dum dum dum ♪
♪ Oh come on ♪
♪ How can she lose with
what things she use? ♪
♪ 36‐24‐36 ♪
♪ Ow what a winning hand ♪
‐ Smooches. ‐
Hey, Mr. Minute Maid.
How long you've been outside?
For your information,
we just got here.
An hour ago.
I look too good
to wait that long.
Well, good luck gettin' in.
That doorman's a brick
wall with an attitude.
Regine! Hey, what's happenin'?
Smooches.
‐ You guys, come on in.
‐ Thanks, baby. Come on.
Hey, what's up, ladies?
‐ Hi. ‐ Hey.
Oh. Where do you
think you're going?
‐ Well, we're with them.
‐ Uh‐huh. Not anymore.
I am ready to mack.
Unh‐unh. If there is
anything left to mack
after I'm seen in my
one‐of‐a‐kind creation.
Oh, yes.
My dress is definitely
making a statement.
Well, that dress over there
is sayin' the same thing.
You will excuse me, won't you?
Come on, let's get a table.
Looks like they're all full.
Hey, there's a booth over
there with only one guy in it.
You start somethin', I
know we could take him.
You don't mind if
we sit here, do you?
Please do.
Hm.
Girl, I've been waitin'
on you all night.
I know.
The name's Goldie.
You wanna guess why?
‐ Because of your
gold tooth. ‐ Nope.
But that makes sense too.
‐ So what's your
name? ‐ Shaquan.
‐ Hey, hey‐‐ ‐ Shut
up. Shaquan Jackson.
Any relation to La Toya?
‐ Khadijah, get up. ‐ Hey.
Hey, Kyle, Overton,
how did you get in?
Oh, baby, I just used
my juice, my pull, my‐‐.
Foot in the back door. Yeah.
Excuse us.
Now that we're here,
let's make up for lost time.
Here's the plan.
We work as a team.
Lookit, man, I'm tryin'
to get with Synclaire.
Why I got to hang out with you?
Who scuffed his new snakeskin
shoes getting you in here?
Oh, man, that things ain't real.
It's beside the point. And
keep your voice down.
♪ Kyle got old cheap
shoes he's wearing.. ♪
Can you just work with
me for 15 minutes, alright?
Oh, yo, yo, yo, two
honeys at 12 o'clock.
‐ Right. ‐ You
take the ugly one.
Which one is the ugly one?
The one that says no. Ahh.
No, baby. Maybe later, okay?
But, Khadijah, he was cute.
He had on makeup.
What about that guy who
wanted to buy you a drink?
He needed some makeup.
Boy, are you picky?
Synclaire, there
is an art to mackin'.
You can't just be
nice to every loser
that wants to tell
you his life story.
So the funny thing is, right
the cop forgot to read
me my rights, okay?
So here I am ready
to put you on a plate
and sop you up with a biscuit.
Khadijah, get up!
Yo, yo, yo, yo,
Shaquan, are you thirsty?
'Cause Goldie is.
I'll be right back.
Yeah, don't rush.
Oh, girl, I'm sorry.
Go home right now.
And then, and put that
dress in some cold water.
No, no, no, baby.
Maybe later, okay?
What was wrong with him?
His breath got here five
minutes before he did.
Believe me, when the
right guy comes along
mother will be mackin'.
Just pray he don't
have a gold tooth.
Whoa! My ears is burnin'.
I brought you a little
somethin' somethin'.
‐ Ooh, a 40. ‐ Better
than that, baby, two.
Now wait a minute. I
drank out of one of these.
Well, what difference
does it make?
Max, girl, you didn't
introduce me to your man.
I thought you said your
name was Shaquan.
Well, Max is my nickname.
‐ Can I call you that? ‐ No.
Oh. Now you're trying
to play hard to get.
I see. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
That's a very nice
dress you got on.
And it's popular too.
There's a blond over
there got one on just like it.
You will excuse me, won't you?
Shaquan, you ain't
drinking this, right?
You know, your eyes
have been speaking to me
from across the room.
And you didn't
understand go away?
Man, that's the best
no I heard all night.
Hey, yo, man, your time is up.
I'm going to dance
with Synclaire.
Cold water, girl.
Take it right on out.
Whoo! Mmm, girl.
You got to excuse me.
That eight ball just
rollin' right through me.
Thank God for weak bladders.
I'll check you all
out later, okay?
Good music, huh?
Good music to dance to.
It's good when two people dance.
No pressure, no commitment,
just two people dancing.
Synclaire, do you wanna dance?
Oh, that's very sweet of you,
Khadijah, but no, thank you.
Not me, Rico Suave over here.
Oh, well, I'd love to, Overton
but‐but‐but I'm not really
good at dancing in public.
I mean, ever since
the Pump went out.
But the dance is
too complicated.
Oh, exactly. Oh.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
Like, like that
cabbage patch thing.
Yes. And then that snake thing.
This‐this is the saddest
thing I have ever seen.
Two rhythmless people talking
about how they can't dance.
Where are the men?
Well, I am happy to report
that now my dress is
officially an exclusive.
Regine, I thought you said
this place had it going on?
I don't care if we got
in free. I want a refund.
The music is weak.
The men are whack.
Khadijah.
Khadijah, now you
cannot expect fun
to just come running up to you.
Unless of course,
you're me and you're not.
So why don't I introduce
you to some friends of mine?
Please, anybody you know
is definitely not
right for Khadijah.
Regine, looking good.
I'm glad to see you and
your friends got in okay.
Thanks.
Introduce me to him, Regine.
Introduce me to him.
Now why would I introduce
you to somebody that‐‐.
Hi, I'm Khadijah
and you would be?
Oh, I'm, I'm Ty. I'm the DJ.
I was just telling Regine here
that the music in
here is bumpin'.
Oh, cool, you see
when I mix, I like
to think of it like
creating a whole
new song, you know.
In fact, why don't you come up
and let me show
you how it's done?
I suppose I could.
Don't wait up. Mack on.
So would you like to
go for a ride in my BMW?
Sure. You could
drive me to my jet.
Shaquan.
Girl, where the
hell have you been?
I've been looking all over
for you. Now come on.
Yeah, well, go, go look outside.
Yo, hold up.
That brother owe me 15 cent.
Look, don't you be stupid
and leave without giving
me your phone number.
Yo, Piggy. Yo, Piggy.
What about my money?
Why me?
Why do I always get
stuck with the cling‐on
who doesn't have a clue?
Every time I go out, I meet
up with the same type of guy.
How do you like
a change of pace?
Yeah, that's it. You got it.
‐ I got it. ‐ Yeah.
I got it.
Wait, I lost it.
No, wait. I got it back
now. I got it back now.
Go, Synclaire. Go, Synclaire.
Don't talk. I'll lose it.
See, the beats, the
beats are slammin'.
But you notice they never
write lyrics the way they used to.
Yeah, they don't write
about love anymore.
It's all about sex.
That's why I stopped singing.
‐ Oh, you sing? ‐
Well, back in the day.
Well, here. I've got a mic.
I couldn't.
That one.
Well..
One, two, check.
One.
♪ At first I was
afraid I was petrified ♪
♪ Just thinking I could never
live without you by my side ♪
♪ And oh I spent
so many nights ♪
♪ Just thinking how
you did me wrong ♪
♪ But I grew strong ♪
♪ And I learned
how to get along ♪
♪ So now you're back ♪
♪ From outer space ♪
♪ I just walked in
to find you here ♪
♪ With that sad
look upon your face ♪
♪ I should have
changed that stupid lock ♪
♪ I should have made
you leave your key ♪
♪ If I had known
for just one second ♪
♪ You'd be back to bother me ♪
♪ Go on now go ♪
♪ Walk out the door ♪
♪ Just turn around now ♪
♪ 'Cause you aren't
welcome anymore ♪
♪ Ain't you the one who tried
to break me with desire? ♪
♪ Did you think I'd crumble? ♪
♪ Did you think I'd
lay down and die? ♪
♪ Oh no not I ♪
♪ I will survive ♪
♪ For as long as I know how
to love I know I'll be alive ♪
♪ I've got all my life to live ♪
♪ And I've got all
my love to give ♪
♪ And I'll survive ha ♪
♪ I will survive ♪
♪ Hey hey ♪
♪ Come on then oh oh ♪
♪ Plug it up ooh ow ♪
♪ I'm okay ooh ♪
♪ Yeah come on get down now ♪
♪ Get loose now ♪
♪ Ooh ooh ooh aah aah ow ♪
♪ Just one second you'd
be back to bother me ♪
♪ Go on now go ♪
♪ Oh now go ♪
♪ Walk out the door ♪
♪ Walk out the door ♪
Whoo! My game was up tonight!
Yes! You tore it up, girl.
I haven't had this much fun
since Grammy
James' 88th birthday.
Okay.
'Word.'
Grammy was kicking, wasn't she?
Two hundred and twelve dollars
and eighty seven cents of dress
shot to hell.
Pfft.
She's just salty 'cause
she didn't hook up
with anybody like I did.
You did alright for yourself.
Did you get the digits?
No, I gave him my number.
‐ Oh! ‐ 'Big mistake.'
Even I know that.
Yeah, right, you know.
By giving that man your number,
you're putting him in control.
You're gonna be
sitting by that phone
jumpin' every time it rings.
And if you don't have his number
and he doesn't call,
you can't call him
every night at 3:00 in
the morning for a week.
That will teach you.
Please, he will call me.
Well, Maxine, I can't believe
you gave Goldie your number.
I thought you said
you didn't like him.
I gave him a number,
alright. Just wasn't mine.
Yo, Shaquan, telephone.
Goldie?
No, this is Shaquan's
sister, Sawuda.
'Ring.'
'Come on, Ty, make that call.'
'Well, the phone works.'
'Ring! Damn it, ring!'
'You're buggin'.'
'I gotta get out of here.'
with your brother.'
'But I'm sorry, Brad.
It just happened.'
'So did Pearl Harbor,
Monica.' So did Pearl Harbor.'
Synclaire, what are
doing watching that junk?
Shh, that's Brad.
His wife slept with his
brother at the same time
his sister was killed
in a car accident.
They're looking for a
replacement surrogate
and they've got the baby on ice.
Really?
'And what about the, the baby?'
Girl, you should
see me. I looked‐‐
‐ Shh! ‐ What's going on?
'Brad, maybe this isn't
a good time to tell you'
'but your brother's
had a sex change'
'and I'm a lesbian.'
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
You know that's.. Ain't nothin'
Later today on "Oprah."
Lonely woman
who waste their lives
watching television.
♪ Check check check it out
check check check it out ♪
♪ What you want?
No free position ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Yes we're living
the single life yeah ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh and in a
'90s kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Keep your head up what? ♪
♪ Keep your head
up that's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪
♪ With my homegirls standing
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue it's
tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ And in a '90s kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Haaaa ♪
Do you think when they order
American takeout in China
they have trouble using forks?
Synclaire, you ask
us that every week.
That's 'cause you
never answer me.
Well, looks like we gotta
make choice this week.
That "Barnaby Jones" from
last Saturday wraps up tonight.
And there's a fire sale on
the home shopping channel.
‐ Ooh! ‐ 'Oh, and
on what's happening.'
"Rewound, Auditions
For The Gong Show."
‐ Hand me the remote,
please. ‐ No, no, no, no.
I'm not going out like that.
I'm not gonna sit here and
watch you get all worked up
over chubby brother in a beret.
Like you have somethin'
better to do. Hmph.
That's not the point.
Every Saturday, Synclaire asks
about those damn chopsticks
and you sit here studying
that TV guide like it's "Playgirl."
Well, you have your
fun, I have mine, okay?
This is pathetic.
I mean, no dates,
no plans, no men.
We gotta get out.
I don't live here. I am out.
I'm talking about getting
in the mix, mackin'.
You know I'm sayin'?
Gettin' in with some men.
Not just hanging
out with the girls.
We can invite some boys over.
I need a real man.
And real men ain't just gonna
come knocking at our door.
What's everybody staring at?
You wouldn't even understand.
So what are you guys up to?
Well, it's Saturday night.
We're here for Chinese
food and "Barnaby" Part II.
Don't get too comfortable.
We're about to
get up out of here.
Let's go to the movies.
You can't mack at the
movies. It's too dark.
‐ Oh, what about jazz club?
‐ Nah. I hate the saxophone.
Sounds like a man begging.
Like you'd know.
Hey, what about Coney Island?
Sure, I haven't been
mugged in a while.
You women are so indecisive.
Men, on the other hand
move with a swift and
deliberate purpose.
Goes back to prehistoric times
when we men were the hunters
and you women did
what we told you to.
And you liked it.
What?
Well, the brother got guts.
You gotta give him that.
‐ Whoo! I am exhausted.
‐ Hard day at work?
Clearance sale at Wig World.
Regine, help. You're always
hooked onto something.
Tell us what's going on tonight.
Well, if you're very,
very nice to me
I could get you on the
guest list tonight at Club Zina.
‐ Zina? ‐ My
friend Ty is the DJ.
I heard that place is
the bomb. I'm down.
I don't know. The
Club Zina's tired.
There's nothing but a
bunch of brothers there
with beepers and gold teeth
talking about "Babe, I'd like"
to put you on a plate and
sop you up with a biscuit."
Well, if I had a nickel
for every time I
heard Kyle say that.
Coney Island means
corn dogs for all.
Are you all comin' or not?
Well, you can count us in.
Alright, but I can only
bring three people.
Well, Max says she's not going
and Synclaire's
got corn dog fever.
So that leaves two tickets.
One for me and Overton.
Wait a minute.
You mean if we go,
Kyle gets dissed?
Suddenly I feel like dancing.
♪ Go go yes uh uh ♪
You know, you are colder
than your bed at night.
But that's okay.
I don't need you
to get into a club.
Kyle Barker has more
juice than Minute Maid.
Yeah, Overton
Jones has more pull
than the elastic on
a fat lady's drawer.
Let's go.
Alright, so it's on.
We are going to
Club Zina tonight.
‐ 'That's right.' ‐ Yo!
I gotta go and
pick out some hair.
Hurry up, Regine. We gotta
roll all the way out to Manhattan.
I've got men to meet.
Well, I guarantee you if
there are any brothers there
with gold teeth,
they'll be all yours truly
the gold‐tooth magnet.
You remember that
Public Enemy concert?
I couldn't shake
Flava Flav for a week.
Yeah, but you got a fat clock
medallion out of it, didn't you?
Anybody seen my ponytail? I
wanna have that whip action.
Well, ain't none of us gonna
get no action if you don't hurry up.
Alright, alright.
So what do you
think of this outfit?
‐ That's the one.
‐ I couldn't curve.
‐ Looks good. ‐ I better change.
Honestly, I don't know anybody
that puts that much
effort into getting ready.
♪ I am everything ♪
♪ Everything is me ♪
Damn, I'm a good‐lookin' man.
'Come on, Kyle, quit
hoggin' up the bathroom.'
Perfection takes
time, my brother.
Hey, what's all
this stuff anyway?
Grooming aids for
a man of the '90s.
You should always start
with a mild astringent.
It removes excess
oils from the skin.
Yeah, it also takes
price tags off a new tool.
I'm assuming.
The kid is definitely not
comin' home alone tonight.
Ah, shall I break out
the guest toothbrush, sir?
No, tonight I'm looking
for the kind of woman
that brings her own.
‐ Bow‐wow. ‐ Bow‐wow.
But, hey, you are
a true romantic.
Damn, man, is that you?
Yeah, you like it?
It's my new cologne, Pogo.
Smells like Polo
but at a mere
fraction of the cost.
Brother, nobody's gonna
smell as cheap as you tonight.
Synclaire, what are you doing?
I'm putting on my
fragrance. Want some?
No, thanks. I'll take mine
straight out of the bottle.
You know,
Khadijah, if I ever get
these control top drawers on..
This could be a lot of fun.
Word up, it's been a while
since we've been out clubbin'.
And for freakshoot
I'm gonna make
the most out of this.
Remember how we used to
give fake names to the guys
who would try to talk to us?
I was Alexus.
I was Dominique, right?
Ooh, tonight I'll be Shaquan.
Yes!
That suits me, yes.
Alright, alright, alright.
I am ready to go.
I got this slammin'
outfit on and my ponytail.
You know what I'm sayin'?
Whip that. That's
what I'm sayin'.
Oh, we all look good tonight.
Yes!
♪ She's a brick house ♪
♪ Dum dum dum dum ♪
♪ Dum dum dum dum ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ She's mighty mighty
just lettin' it all hang out ♪
♪ She's a brick house ♪
♪ Dum dum dum dum ♪
♪ Oh come on ♪
♪ How can she lose with
what things she use? ♪
♪ 36‐24‐36 ♪
♪ Ow what a winning hand ♪
‐ Smooches. ‐
Hey, Mr. Minute Maid.
How long you've been outside?
For your information,
we just got here.
An hour ago.
I look too good
to wait that long.
Well, good luck gettin' in.
That doorman's a brick
wall with an attitude.
Regine! Hey, what's happenin'?
Smooches.
‐ You guys, come on in.
‐ Thanks, baby. Come on.
Hey, what's up, ladies?
‐ Hi. ‐ Hey.
Oh. Where do you
think you're going?
‐ Well, we're with them.
‐ Uh‐huh. Not anymore.
I am ready to mack.
Unh‐unh. If there is
anything left to mack
after I'm seen in my
one‐of‐a‐kind creation.
Oh, yes.
My dress is definitely
making a statement.
Well, that dress over there
is sayin' the same thing.
You will excuse me, won't you?
Come on, let's get a table.
Looks like they're all full.
Hey, there's a booth over
there with only one guy in it.
You start somethin', I
know we could take him.
You don't mind if
we sit here, do you?
Please do.
Hm.
Girl, I've been waitin'
on you all night.
I know.
The name's Goldie.
You wanna guess why?
‐ Because of your
gold tooth. ‐ Nope.
But that makes sense too.
‐ So what's your
name? ‐ Shaquan.
‐ Hey, hey‐‐ ‐ Shut
up. Shaquan Jackson.
Any relation to La Toya?
‐ Khadijah, get up. ‐ Hey.
Hey, Kyle, Overton,
how did you get in?
Oh, baby, I just used
my juice, my pull, my‐‐.
Foot in the back door. Yeah.
Excuse us.
Now that we're here,
let's make up for lost time.
Here's the plan.
We work as a team.
Lookit, man, I'm tryin'
to get with Synclaire.
Why I got to hang out with you?
Who scuffed his new snakeskin
shoes getting you in here?
Oh, man, that things ain't real.
It's beside the point. And
keep your voice down.
♪ Kyle got old cheap
shoes he's wearing.. ♪
Can you just work with
me for 15 minutes, alright?
Oh, yo, yo, yo, two
honeys at 12 o'clock.
‐ Right. ‐ You
take the ugly one.
Which one is the ugly one?
The one that says no. Ahh.
No, baby. Maybe later, okay?
But, Khadijah, he was cute.
He had on makeup.
What about that guy who
wanted to buy you a drink?
He needed some makeup.
Boy, are you picky?
Synclaire, there
is an art to mackin'.
You can't just be
nice to every loser
that wants to tell
you his life story.
So the funny thing is, right
the cop forgot to read
me my rights, okay?
So here I am ready
to put you on a plate
and sop you up with a biscuit.
Khadijah, get up!
Yo, yo, yo, yo,
Shaquan, are you thirsty?
'Cause Goldie is.
I'll be right back.
Yeah, don't rush.
Oh, girl, I'm sorry.
Go home right now.
And then, and put that
dress in some cold water.
No, no, no, baby.
Maybe later, okay?
What was wrong with him?
His breath got here five
minutes before he did.
Believe me, when the
right guy comes along
mother will be mackin'.
Just pray he don't
have a gold tooth.
Whoa! My ears is burnin'.
I brought you a little
somethin' somethin'.
‐ Ooh, a 40. ‐ Better
than that, baby, two.
Now wait a minute. I
drank out of one of these.
Well, what difference
does it make?
Max, girl, you didn't
introduce me to your man.
I thought you said your
name was Shaquan.
Well, Max is my nickname.
‐ Can I call you that? ‐ No.
Oh. Now you're trying
to play hard to get.
I see. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
That's a very nice
dress you got on.
And it's popular too.
There's a blond over
there got one on just like it.
You will excuse me, won't you?
Shaquan, you ain't
drinking this, right?
You know, your eyes
have been speaking to me
from across the room.
And you didn't
understand go away?
Man, that's the best
no I heard all night.
Hey, yo, man, your time is up.
I'm going to dance
with Synclaire.
Cold water, girl.
Take it right on out.
Whoo! Mmm, girl.
You got to excuse me.
That eight ball just
rollin' right through me.
Thank God for weak bladders.
I'll check you all
out later, okay?
Good music, huh?
Good music to dance to.
It's good when two people dance.
No pressure, no commitment,
just two people dancing.
Synclaire, do you wanna dance?
Oh, that's very sweet of you,
Khadijah, but no, thank you.
Not me, Rico Suave over here.
Oh, well, I'd love to, Overton
but‐but‐but I'm not really
good at dancing in public.
I mean, ever since
the Pump went out.
But the dance is
too complicated.
Oh, exactly. Oh.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
Like, like that
cabbage patch thing.
Yes. And then that snake thing.
This‐this is the saddest
thing I have ever seen.
Two rhythmless people talking
about how they can't dance.
Where are the men?
Well, I am happy to report
that now my dress is
officially an exclusive.
Regine, I thought you said
this place had it going on?
I don't care if we got
in free. I want a refund.
The music is weak.
The men are whack.
Khadijah.
Khadijah, now you
cannot expect fun
to just come running up to you.
Unless of course,
you're me and you're not.
So why don't I introduce
you to some friends of mine?
Please, anybody you know
is definitely not
right for Khadijah.
Regine, looking good.
I'm glad to see you and
your friends got in okay.
Thanks.
Introduce me to him, Regine.
Introduce me to him.
Now why would I introduce
you to somebody that‐‐.
Hi, I'm Khadijah
and you would be?
Oh, I'm, I'm Ty. I'm the DJ.
I was just telling Regine here
that the music in
here is bumpin'.
Oh, cool, you see
when I mix, I like
to think of it like
creating a whole
new song, you know.
In fact, why don't you come up
and let me show
you how it's done?
I suppose I could.
Don't wait up. Mack on.
So would you like to
go for a ride in my BMW?
Sure. You could
drive me to my jet.
Shaquan.
Girl, where the
hell have you been?
I've been looking all over
for you. Now come on.
Yeah, well, go, go look outside.
Yo, hold up.
That brother owe me 15 cent.
Look, don't you be stupid
and leave without giving
me your phone number.
Yo, Piggy. Yo, Piggy.
What about my money?
Why me?
Why do I always get
stuck with the cling‐on
who doesn't have a clue?
Every time I go out, I meet
up with the same type of guy.
How do you like
a change of pace?
Yeah, that's it. You got it.
‐ I got it. ‐ Yeah.
I got it.
Wait, I lost it.
No, wait. I got it back
now. I got it back now.
Go, Synclaire. Go, Synclaire.
Don't talk. I'll lose it.
See, the beats, the
beats are slammin'.
But you notice they never
write lyrics the way they used to.
Yeah, they don't write
about love anymore.
It's all about sex.
That's why I stopped singing.
‐ Oh, you sing? ‐
Well, back in the day.
Well, here. I've got a mic.
I couldn't.
That one.
Well..
One, two, check.
One.
♪ At first I was
afraid I was petrified ♪
♪ Just thinking I could never
live without you by my side ♪
♪ And oh I spent
so many nights ♪
♪ Just thinking how
you did me wrong ♪
♪ But I grew strong ♪
♪ And I learned
how to get along ♪
♪ So now you're back ♪
♪ From outer space ♪
♪ I just walked in
to find you here ♪
♪ With that sad
look upon your face ♪
♪ I should have
changed that stupid lock ♪
♪ I should have made
you leave your key ♪
♪ If I had known
for just one second ♪
♪ You'd be back to bother me ♪
♪ Go on now go ♪
♪ Walk out the door ♪
♪ Just turn around now ♪
♪ 'Cause you aren't
welcome anymore ♪
♪ Ain't you the one who tried
to break me with desire? ♪
♪ Did you think I'd crumble? ♪
♪ Did you think I'd
lay down and die? ♪
♪ Oh no not I ♪
♪ I will survive ♪
♪ For as long as I know how
to love I know I'll be alive ♪
♪ I've got all my life to live ♪
♪ And I've got all
my love to give ♪
♪ And I'll survive ha ♪
♪ I will survive ♪
♪ Hey hey ♪
♪ Come on then oh oh ♪
♪ Plug it up ooh ow ♪
♪ I'm okay ooh ♪
♪ Yeah come on get down now ♪
♪ Get loose now ♪
♪ Ooh ooh ooh aah aah ow ♪
♪ Just one second you'd
be back to bother me ♪
♪ Go on now go ♪
♪ Oh now go ♪
♪ Walk out the door ♪
♪ Walk out the door ♪
Whoo! My game was up tonight!
Yes! You tore it up, girl.
I haven't had this much fun
since Grammy
James' 88th birthday.
Okay.
'Word.'
Grammy was kicking, wasn't she?
Two hundred and twelve dollars
and eighty seven cents of dress
shot to hell.
Pfft.
She's just salty 'cause
she didn't hook up
with anybody like I did.
You did alright for yourself.
Did you get the digits?
No, I gave him my number.
‐ Oh! ‐ 'Big mistake.'
Even I know that.
Yeah, right, you know.
By giving that man your number,
you're putting him in control.
You're gonna be
sitting by that phone
jumpin' every time it rings.
And if you don't have his number
and he doesn't call,
you can't call him
every night at 3:00 in
the morning for a week.
That will teach you.
Please, he will call me.
Well, Maxine, I can't believe
you gave Goldie your number.
I thought you said
you didn't like him.
I gave him a number,
alright. Just wasn't mine.
Yo, Shaquan, telephone.
Goldie?
No, this is Shaquan's
sister, Sawuda.
'Ring.'
'Come on, Ty, make that call.'
'Well, the phone works.'
'Ring! Damn it, ring!'
'You're buggin'.'
'I gotta get out of here.'