Life with Lucy (1986): Season 1, Episode 3 - Love Among the Two-by Fours - full transcript

(theme music playing)

♪ Every day I'm better
than I ever was before ♪

♪ Every day I'm loving,
living more and more ♪

♪ Every day holds keys
to possibilities galore ♪

♪ Every day is better than before ♪

♪ How you feel depends on who you are ♪

♪ Who you are depends on what you do ♪

♪ What you do is mostly up to you ♪

♪ It's true ♪

I You can make a better you I

♪ Every day is a new world
that I'm eager to explore ♪



♪ Every day opportunity
knocks at my door ♪

♪ Every day I'm loving,
living more and more and more ♪

♪ And every day is better than ♪

♪ Keep on saying, "Yes, I can" ♪

♪ And every day is better than before ♪

(sneezes)

Captain Kirk! Captain Kirk,
it's Scotty here.

Captain, the Hardwareship Enterprise-

it's losing power!

Well, I'm trying as hard as I can,
Captain!

I'm going to warp speed now.

(trilling)

Earth to Leonard. Mayday, mayday.

You're about to fly through a black hole,
straight into the unemployment office.



Curtis: Will you two settle down?

The president of the Beechwood
Construction Company

is due here at any minute.

We must prove to him

that we are reliable,
level-headed businessmen.

- We'll get the contract.
- I hope so.

That man is building 250 houses,

each with two bathrooms.

Do you know what that means?

Yes! No waiting in line in the morning.

-(Leonard laughing)
- Please, please, this is serious.

If we supply those plumbing fixtures,
do you know what?

I may become the bathroom king
of Pasadena.

(bell dings)

Hello, I'm Ben Matthews.
Beechwood Construction Company.

Hello, Mr. Matthews!

It is a deep pleasure and a joy
to see you this morning, sir.

Oh, I'm happy to meet you.
Happy, happy, happy!

Well, thank you very much.

Usually the only one that's glad
to see me is my dog.

(chuckles)

If you let him, he'll lick your face.

(clears throat)

Oh, allow me to present
my very capable assistant,

Mr. Leonard Stoner.

Mr. Matthews, I--

Nice to meet you, sir.

- Are you all right?
- Of course he's all right.

And if you don't like clumsy people,
I'll fire him.

Goofy!

Lucy? Lucy Everett?

I'm Lucy Barker now, but it's still me.

Oh, I can't believe it.
It's been how many years?

Oh!

Ben is a friend of mine from high school.

We called him Goofy because
he had an overbite.

And his ears drooped.

And he walked like this.

He was the cutest boy I ever saw.

Ah, Lucy was more than just a friend.

She was my first love,
and I've never forgotten her.

Oh, she's hard to forget.

(chuckles)

Lord knows I've tried.

Ben and I met a high school dance

when he asked me to do
the Big Apple, remember?

That's right. It was that same night
I asked you to go steady.

Aw.

Yeah, we were together every day
for the next year.

And then my family moved to the East Coast
and I never saw her again.

That's such a sad story--
star-crossed lovers.

Yeah.

Goofy and Juliet.

Well, if the reunion is over,

could we get started
on the plumbing contract, eh?

Oh, for goodness sake, Curtis,

there are some things in life
more important than hardware.

- Only oxygen.
- Oh...

So, what have you been up to
all these years?

Well, I live in Beverly Hills,
I'm a widower,

I, uh... I have three
beautiful grandchildren.

Really? I have grandchildren too.

Have you got pictures?

Well, now,
you wanna see wallet size,

3.by-1 Os,

or their faces on T-shirts?

Isn't it revolting, the way she's drooling
over that man?

No, but if Mrs. B and Mr. Matthews
hit it off,

that might give us the edge
on getting that plumbing contract.

Oh-ho! Look at those sweet
little lovebirds!

Lucy, why don't the two of us
have dinner tonight

and just talk over old times, huh?

Oh, tonight? No, no.
I couldn't possibly.

L-- I have some work to do
around the store.

My good woman, there are more
things in life than hardware.

And one of them is...

amore!

Hi, Grandma!

Hi, sweetheart.

Will you do Grandma a favor?

Come here. Come around in front
of the ironing board

and kneel down facing that way.

And put your--
Kneel down, get comfy.

Now put your hands up here like this

and hold the ironing board
up for Grandma.

Okay, thank you.

Boy, do I hate housework.

Well! Thanks, anyway.

What's all this?

Oh, well, I can't decide what to wear
on my date tonight

so I just thought I'd iron
everything I own.

Calm down, Mom.

Wear that new dress you bought--
it's perfect.

Well!

Getting ready for our date, are we?

You're coming too?

Mom's a little nervous.

I'm a lot nervous.

This is my first date
since your father passed away.

You know that I've forgotten how to act?

Oh, well, if it's any help, Mom,

I read in a magazine that men don't like
women who talk about themselves.

That's right. They like women
who talk about hardware.

Put that in your purse.

It might turn him on.

(chuckles)

Oh, boy.

Romance just oozes from that man.

- Hi.
- Hi, there.

- Grandma, I can't believe it!
- What?

In a half hour, you're going to be
on a date with a real live man!

All right, that's it, I'm not going.

I'm gonna call him and tell him
I have yellow fever.

Oh, no, no, no, no.
You are going, Mom.

- Oh, no, I'm not.
- Ah, ah, ah.

You're going and you're going
to have a good time.

From what you've told us,
Ben is a terrific guy.

Yeah.

Ben is very special to me, but...

You know he was the first boy
I ever kissed?

Oh... I remember the first boy
I ever kissed.

Of course you do.

Randy Fargo.

Randy Fargo?
You kissed Randy Fargo?

Well, yeah, but it wasn't very good,
sweetheart.

His lips were all spongy,
like two Twinkies.

Oh. Well.

(whispering)
It was great!

Becky, what are you doing?

Practicing kissing.

You're getting lip prints
all over the mirror.

How else am I gonna know
what I look like to a boy?

Well, how do you look?

A little like Madonna.

But a lot like a fish.

Ha! A very cute little fish.

(chuckles)

Come on, Becky.
Why don't we let Grandma get ready?

Mr. Matthews will be here any minute.

I can't wait to meet him.

Oh.

I still have it.

(doorbell rings)

I'll get it!

Hello, I'm Ben Matthews.

So you're Grandma's main squeeze.

Grandma, your date's here!

This is Lucy's family, all right.

I'm Lucy's daughter, Margo.

And I'm her husband, Ted.
This is our daughter, Becky,

our son, Kevin,
and of course, you've met Dad.

Well, I'm very pleased to meet all of you.

Well, please, my boy,

come in, come in!

Sit down, make yourself comfortable.

Right here, right here, sir.
There you are.

(chuckles)

(clears throat)

So, um...

- Mr. Matthews?
- Mm?

Are you gonna marry Grandma?

Please, Kevin,

you're embarrassing
Mr. Matthews.

You mustn't ask questions like that.

Well?

Well...

You see, Kevin, I really like
your grandma a lot.

But maybe it's just a little soon
to tell, huh?

So why don't you check back
with me after dinner?

Or you could call us
from the restaurant.

Hi!

Hi, there.

Lucy, you look gorgeous.

That dress is a knockout.

Oh, this old thing.

- You look great, Ma.
- Thank you, Ted.

Where are you two lovebirds
going tonight?

Well, I'm taking Lucy to dinner
and dancing,

and then...

then I've got a little surprise for her.

Are you gonna take Grandma...

breakdancing?

(laughs) I don't think so, darling.

I never did get the hang
of breakdancing.

Oh, the dances kids do today
are really silly, aren't they?

- Yeah.
- Ted: Yeah...

why can't they do something dignified,
like we did?

Like the Monkey.

Right! Or the Swim!

Lucy:
I love it! (laughlng)

I love it!

Yeah!

You know, if there was a dumb
dance contest, we'd win.

You kids have no monopoly on dumb dances.

- What do you say, Ben?
- You mean the Big Apple?

Yeah.
I dug up some of our old records.

Uh-oh.

(jazz music plays)

Let's cut a rug.

(song ends)

(family cheers)

Bravo! Good!

What kind of dances did you do,
Grandpa?

When Grandpa was young,
they didn't have dances.

Every Saturday night they'd just squat
around the campfire

and wait for a dinosaur to eat them.

All that beauty...

and funny, too.

We'd better get going.
We've got a 7:00 dinner reservation.

Right.

Oh, well, now,
have a marvelous time.

Yes, a little wine,
a little candlelight.

(chuckles)

A little hardware?

Not too late, now.

Yes, Mother.

Isn't he adorable?
I feel like a kid again.

Oh...

Her first date.

Our little Mom is growing up.

(music plays)

Hey, Tony, the basement floor
is not dry yet.

We better cover this hole
in case it rains.

Good idea.
Give me a hand with this tarp.

All right.

You know, I hear Mr. Matthews has a date
with his high school sweetheart tonight.

I wish I still talked
to my high school sweetheart.

So, what happened?
You lose track of her?

No, I married her.

(laughter)

- Don't you open your eyes.
- No, I won't.

Ah.

- All right.
- Oh! What was that?

- Well--
- Where are we?

Some glamorous open-air cafe?

Uh...

close.

A few steps up here.

Few steps up.

Okay.

Yeah.

-LS that it?
- That's it.

- Okay.
- All right, open your eyes.

Ta-da!

Oh, gosh. Look at this.

And we're the first to arrive.

- You don't remember, do you?
- Remember what?

The night we met-- after the dance,
we went walking in the moonlight,

to a house that my father was building.

Oh, our first date!

Now you have it.

That's the night I fell in love with you,
you know.

Oh... this wood.

This-- this is marvelous.

Marvelous wood--
has great knot holes.

I love wood with knot holes.

And everything seems so strong and nice.

Thank you, Lucy.

- Now, look what I brought.
- What?

Do you remember...

our favorite bubbly?

Ah, yes.

"Chateau de Dr. Pepper."

Well, you just make yourself
comfortable, and I'll set us up.

Okay.

(chuckles)

Comfy?

Yes!

For you.

Thank you.

- Ah.
- To us.

To us.

Ah!

- Vintage.
- Mm.

Now, do you remember that first date,

we pretended we were married.

Yeah.

You were going to be my husband,
the famous racecar driver.

And you were going to be my wife,
the mother of our twelve children.

Twelve?

Well, you know, that might have happened
if my family hadn't moved away.

Huh.

Yeah.

Yeah, I know.
We might have gotten married

and lived in a house
just like this.

Ah, and we would have lived
happily ever after, too.

You know, we still could, Lucy.

I'm available, you're available.

And I'm starting to get
those old feelings again.

Oh, I just can't get over this--
this wood.

My, my,
my, my, my, my, my-

It is so beautiful, this place.

All right,
I've got another surprise for you.

- What?
- This.

(romantic music plays)

Oh, Ben, our song!

It's 2:30 in the morning.

- Where is she?
- Who knows?

Now what are you doing?

I thought maybe they were making out
in the driveway.

Margo,
why are you so uptight about this?

Okay.

I'll admit it, I'm having a little trouble
accepting the idea of my mother dating.

What are you two doing up?

What is going on?

- Oh, Mom's not home yet.
- Oh, well--

Ah-ha!

Mother, it's 2:30 in the morning.

I hope you have a good explanation.

Well, we were dancing in a room
that hadn't been built yet

and we fell through a hole in the floor
and got trapped in a deep pit.

(laughing)

Oh, how many times
have we heard that one?

- We told much better stories than that.
- That's for sure.

Well, I think it's probably time
I'm saying goodnight.

- Goodnight, Ben.
- Goodnight.

I'll call you tomorrow for your decision.

Okay.

-(chuckles)
- Decision?

Decision about what?

Well, if you must know,

Ben asked me to go to San Francisco
with him for the weekend.

Ah! Ha-ha!

Of course she'll go!

- What do you mean?
- Frisco's her kind of town!

- She'd be delighted!
- Get in here!

I'm not sure whether I want to go or not.

Not sure?

One lousy weekend?

You don't even have to have a good time!

- Dad, please.
- Curtis!

This is Mom's business, and she
doesn't have to discuss it with anyone.

- Thank you, dear.
- Except me.

Oh.

What's that you're getting?

You can't have a girl talk without
chocolate chip cookies-- it's a tradition.

Here, take one.

Oh, boy. If this gets around,
my name will be mud

at the Happy Fig Health Food Store.

So, what about Ben?

Are you going to San Francisco?

I like Ben a lot.
He's fun, he's good looking,

and he's so intelligent.

Yeah. What about San Francisco?

And he's a great dancer.

Oh, can that man dance!

Mom, you're avoiding the question.

I know.

I don't know, really, why
I'm making such a big deal out of this.

Nowadays, people go away
for weekends all the time.

So, what's the problem?

Well...

I'm not sure.

But being with Ben tonight
reminded me of all the...

wonderful times that I spent
with your father.

L...

I loved him very much,
you know.

I know.

Even after 35 years,

the romance was still there.

Do you remember when I was 13

and all my girlfriends
were going steady?

Sure, Margo.

Finally, Randy Fargo asked me
to go steady.

Do you remember
what you told me?

Yeah, I told you there was no future
in the name "Margo Fargo."

Yeah, but you also said I could move
at my own speed.

That just because everyone else
was going steady didn't mean I had to.

So...

maybe what I'm feeling is that I'm...

just not ready to share my life
with another man yet.

L-- I need a little more time.

San Francisco will be there next year.

And from the way Ben looks at you,
he'll be there next year, too.

How'd a kid like you get so smart?

I had you for a mom.

Oh.

Well, let's go to bed.

Oh.

Just one more thing.

Come in, Curtis.

You got the plumbing contract.

Whoopee!

(music playing)

(theme music playing)