Life with Lucy (1986): Season 1, Episode 4 - Lucy Gets Her Wires Crossed - full transcript
(theme music playing)
♪ Every day I'm better
than I ever was before ♪
♪ Every day I'm loving,
living more and more ♪
♪ Every day holds keys
to possibilities galore ♪
♪ Every day is better than before ♪
♪ How you feel depends on who you are ♪
♪ Who you are depends on what you do ♪
♪ What you do is mostly up to you ♪
♪ It's true ♪
I You can make a better you I
♪ Every day is a new world
that I'm eager to explore ♪
♪ Every day opportunity
knocks at my door ♪
♪ Every day I'm loving,
living more and more and more ♪
♪ And every day is better than ♪
♪ Keep on saying, "Yes, I can" ♪
♪ And every day is better than before ♪
(music playing)
(both scream)
I think I bent my wonton.
What are you doing up
in the middle of the night, anyway?
Oh, well, I had a hard time sleeping.
I'm worried about the business.
Oh, come on now.
I guess we have been losing
some customers
since Hardware Heaven
opened up their new branch.
Is that what's keeping you up?
No. No, no, no.
I was worried somebody would finish
my broccoli and goat cheese casserole.
Trust me. It would have
stayed there all winter.
You know, Curtis,
you really don't have to worry.
M&B Hardware
can stand a little competition.
Even from a big chain.
- You really think so?
- Absolutely.
And always remember,
we're in this together.
You have got me for a business partner.
Oh, Lord.
Hi. We didn't know
anybody else was up.
Oh, what are you doing up, son?
Well, I'm too worried to sleep.
And I can't sleep because he can't sleep.
So what are you worried about, Ted?
Well, there are 40,000 first-year
law students in the United States,
and we are all graduating
at the same time.
Now, how am I ever gonna find a job?
I read in the paper that 72%
of all law students
flunk the bar exams.
- That's good.
- Right.
No, wait a minute. That's bad.
What if I flunk?
No way.
You are the smartest man
in the whole McGibbon family.
Well...
What's going on?
Becky, what are you doing up?
I can't sleep.
Oh, what's the matter, sweetheart?
Patty and I had a fight.
I'm not gonna speak to her
for a hundred million years.
Well, by that time,
you'll have a lot to catch up on.
Trust me, Becky,
you and Patty will make up.
- You sure?
- Positive.
Best friends fight all the time.
Boy, you and Grandpa
must really be best friends.
(Lucy laughs)
Hey. It's party time!
Kevin, you too?
It's 1:30 in the morning.
I can't sleep.
So what are you worried about?
I'm worried "Miami Vice" will be cancelled
before I'm old enough to watch it.
Well, as long as we're all up, let's eat.
Oh, thank you. All right.
Oh, this looks good. Mm.
Mm, what is it?
My science project.
I'm learning to grow mold.
Things are sure slow around here.
Yeah.
Our business died
and went to Hardware Heaven.
Oh, um...
- Can I help you?
- Can I help you, madam?
Welcome to M&B,
home of all your hardware needs.
Today we have a special,
a two-for-one sale.
You buy any two items, and I,
for one, will be thrilled.
Two... for one...
thrilled...
Mrs. B.
Uh, what can I do for you, madam?
I'd, uh, I'd like a flyswatter.
One flyswatter coming right up.
There you are.
- How much is that?
-$1.65.
Oh, I can get that at Hardware Heaven
for 99 cents.
Oh. Well, maybe so, but...
will they take the time
to show you how to use it?
I don't think so.
No, of course not.
(fly buzzing)
Oh, you're in luck.
There's our demonstration fly now.
Demonstration fly?
Yes. Yes, he just works for us.
Yes.
Ah. Ah-ha.
(laughs)
(buzzing stops)
(buzzing starts)
(buzzing stops)
(buzzing starts)
-(buzzing stops)
- Ah-ha!
I'm going to Hardware Heaven.
Ooh!
Attention, everyone.
Our troubles are over.
I have in this box
a surefire sales promotion.
I knew you wouldn't let us down, Curtis.
What brilliant idea
have you come up with?
Promotional potholders.
There we are.
One side, our name, on the other,
"When your home repair problem
is too hot to handle"!
L, um, I hate to burst your bubble,
Curtis,
but I haven't seen promotional potholders
since Wendell Willkie ran for President.
I liked Willkie.
(imitates siren)
Customer at 4:00.
Hey, that looks like
Fred Dunlap the TV star.
- Oh, yeah.
- Good morning, everybody.
Both:
May I help you, Mr. Dunlap?
Freeze!
I will take care of Mr. Dunlap.
Good morning, sir.
What can I do for you today?
Well, sir, uh, I have a problem
with my dish spritzer.
You see, there's a kink
in the whatchamacallit,
and every time I turn it on,
instead of spritzing out the front,
it sort of goes like...
out the side.
You know what I mean?
Uh...
Uh, allow me. Uh, allow me.
Does it go...
or is it spritzing and...
at the same time?
Well, no, it's spritzing and going...
yes.
Oh, well, you're lucky
you've got a little spritz left.
He has some left.
Uh, sometimes-- sometimes the...
...turns into...
How do I fix it?
Uh...
Allow me.
Obviously,
you need a replacement hose.
I would suggest nylon
and a few number-three clamps.
I'll get them for you, sir.
Okay, thank you. You know,
if I had to call a plumber,
it would cost me a fortune.
Oh, yes.
I'll cut the hose for you, Mr. McGibbon.
Of course you will.
You know, Mr. Dunlap,
I just love your TV show.
"Wake-Up Pasadena."
It's my favorite program.
Must be exciting
to be a talk show host.
- Well, it is. It is. But it's hard work.
- Yeah.
You know, I do five shows a week.
- No.
- Yes.
Sometimes I don't know
where my next guest is coming from.
- Oh, really.
- Mm-hmm. Yes.
- Oh.
- Here you are, Mr. Dunlap.
I wrote out a few simple instructions
as to installing the new hose.
You should have it fixed in,
oh, ten minutes tops.
Thank you very much, sir.
I don't know what I'd do without you.
- You know, you are a regular Mr. Fix-It.
- Thank you.
Curtis McGibbon is Mr. Fix-It.
What?
Here is your next guest
for "Wake-Up Pasadena."
Mr. Fix-It.
You know, that's not a bad idea.
It's a great idea.
Oh, I don't think I'm TV material.
Although, a great many people say I have
a strong resemblance to Mr. Whipple.
I like it. I mean, it's folksy.
Oh, yeah. Mr. McGibbon's
as folksy as you can get.
He sure is.
Okay, let's do it.
I'm gonna talk to my producer.
We'll set it up for next week.
How about that?
Oh, wonderful.
And would you just
charge this, please?
Of course. Yes, indeed.
- Oh, how great.
- Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
How about that?
Congratulations, Mr. McGibbon.
Oh, now everybody will know
what M&B has to offer
that Hardware Heaven doesn't--
personal service.
We are going to be great on TV.
By George, I can see it now.
We're gonna--
What do you mean "we"?
Well, I just assumed that I was
gonna be on television with you.
Assume this.
Over my dead body.
Why can't I be on TV?
Because when it comes to home repair,
you are a total
and complete incompetent.
You'll mess things up
and make a fool out of me.
Well, aside from that.
Curtis, please, look.
It's not for me.
It's for our grandchildren.
Would you deny little Kevin and Becky
the thrill of seeing
their grandmother on television?
Just look at those sad little eyes.
They seem to be saying,
"Let Grandma be on television."
Funny.
In my pictures of Kevin and Becky,
their sad little eyes seem to be saying,
"Tell Grandma to buzz off."
Can you believe
the cost of groceries nowadays?
Mom, what are you doing
with Curtis' old chair?
Well...
Curtis will not let me
go on television with him
because he says I don't know anything
about making home repairs.
Well, this ought to show him.
Well, he's getting the mail.
He'll be right in.
Good.
- Curtis?
- Yeah?
I fixed your lounge chair.
Oh, you did, did you?
Yes, I did, did l.
Now, look.
See? Takes a load off your feet.
Takes a load off your mind.
Now for a little relaxing vibration.
Uh...
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa.
Mom, are you all right?
Yeah.
I never felt so relaxed in my life.
Lucille, your fate is sealed.
You are not going on television with me.
Well, you tried, Mom.
Yeah.
A lot of good it did me.
A lot of good it did me.
Mom, can I get you anything?
You want a cup of herb tea or something?
Herb who?
Tea.
No, thank you.
All right.
I'll just sit here
all by myself.
Nobody needs me, nobody wants me.
Nobody's listening.
They're all out of pathetic range.
-Becky!
-No!
Come on, Becky, please!
Forget it. No way.
Kevin.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
What's the matter?
Oh, nothing.
(sighs)
What's the matter with you?
Oh, nothing.
(sighs)
Oh, come on, Kevin.
Obviously something's wrong.
Becky and Patty
won't let me play with them.
Oh, why won't you let Kevin
play with you?
Because he doesn't know
how to play Kids Trivia.
He just gets in the way
and makes a mess.
Oh, now, darling, darling.
Kevin needs an older sister
to teach him things.
Just because he can't do something,
that doesn't mean that you're
going to exclude him.
But you said Grandma
can't be on TV with you
because she doesn't know anything
about home repairs
and she'll make a mess.
Oh, well, yeah.
That has nothing to do
with what...
So?
So you're not being fair either,
are you?
Answer the girl.
Uh, uh, well, no, I'm-- I'm...
not being fair either.
Okay, Kevin. You can play with us.
Yippee!
Well?
All right, Lucille.
You can be on television with me.
Yippee!
- Way to go, Grandma!
- Yeah!
Way to go, Kevin. Yeah! Boy.
- Here you go, Mom.
- Thank you, dear.
Is that what you're gonna fix
on television today, Grandpa?
Yes, indeed, Becky.
That's the one.
Grandpa gave your dad and me
that as a wedding gift.
(laughs)
And they got married anyway.
- Grandma?
- Hmm.
When you go on television today,
will you say hello
to Kevin and me?
- Well...
- Yeah!
I'd love to, but I think
that's against the rules.
Okay. I understand.
I'll tell you what. Why don't we make up
a secret signal that means hello?
That way I can say hello to you and Kevin
and nobody else
in the whole world will know.
I got it. Do this, Grandma.
Kids.
Well, now,
that's really a good idea, Kevin,
but maybe we should try something
that's a little more secret.
Why don't we do what Carol Burnett does
when she says hello to her grandmother?
She just does this. She pulls on her ear.
Wow, that's awesome.
Awesome.
Yeah.
Okay, don't forget now.
That's what I'll be doing for you.
Hey, it's getting late.
Shouldn't you guys be going?
- Yeah.
- Curtis: Oh, yes.
Curtis:
Show time.
Don't forget to smile, Dad.
Oh, no, no, I won't.
I'll be looking bright and chipper.
Hey, hey, hey, you're forgetting
your tools and everything.
I am Mr. Fix-It.
You are the assistant.
All right, here we go.
In five, four, three, two...
Okay, welcome back to "Wake-Up Pasadena."
Now, today our first guest
is going to come out
and he's gonna tell us
how to repair things ourselves
and save ourselves a bundle.
You'll see.
Welcome, please, Mr. Fix-It.
Well, hi there, Mr. Fix-It.
- Hello, Ferd.
- Fred.
Fred.
And, uh, is this the lovely Mrs. Fix-It?
Actually, I'm his business partner
Lucy Barker.
I'm the "B" in M&B Hardware.
That's M&B Hardware,
7207 Hill St.,
Pasadena, California, 911--
- We get the idea, Mrs. Barker.
- O6.
Well, what are you
going to show us today, Mr. Fix-It?
With a few simple repairs,
this lamp could easily be put
into working order.
I see.
Now, what do we have to do to it.
Oh, well, we have to replace
the broken switch.
Mm-hmm.
And glue this part back
onto the lamp itself.
All-- All you need
are a few simple tools.
First a screwdriver.
Uh, the screwdriver.
And-- And then of course a new switch.
The new switch.
And, finally, the strongest adhesive
on the market,
wacky glue.
The wacky glue.
Give me that.
This is all very interesting,
but we're running a little late.
Do you think we could move it along?
Oh, yes. You go on
to the next step, Mr. Fix-It.
Your trusty assistant will fix--
I'll fix the switch.
Oh, uh, uh... all right.
Now, we'll, uh, we'll check the plug
to see if there are any frayed wires.
No frayed wires on that. This is fine.
Now it is time to repair
the lamp itself.
If my assistant
would apply the wacky glue...
- Right.
- Yes.
Uh, and for proper adhesion,
it is important to put glue
on both pieces.
Right, right, right.
- But, please, be conservative.
- Yes, sir.
You may not believe this, but the most
common mistake people make
is to use too much glue.
Yeah, that's right.
And that is sloppy, sloppy, sloppy.
Yes, sir. Don't be sloppy.
So, Mrs. Barker, why don't you, uh,
tell us a little bit about yourself?
Uh, well, I...
(laughs)
I have a lovely daughter Margo
and a lovely son-in-law Ted
and two lovely grandchildren,
Becky and Kevin.
Oh.
- Hi, Grandma!
- Hi, Mrs. B!
Well, Mr. Fix-It, that--
that looks pretty good, I must say.
Oh, yes, indeed. Yes.
The instant wacky glue makes contact,
it's impossible to pry it loose.
Well, that looks as good as new.
Which wasn't too good to begin with.
What are you doing?
Glued my fingers to my ear.
Why?
"Why?"
I put too much on.
I just wiped it off like that.
Oh, all right.
Well, let me help you.
Ow! Let go.
I can't let go.
I'm stuck too!
Well, Mr. Fix-It, I wanna thank you
very much for being here today.
This was a great pleasure.
It really was.
And you too, Mrs. Barker.
This was just wonderful.
Okay? l..
Well, what do you know?
It looks like we're stuck.
Yeah, I guess that's why
they call it wacky glue, huh, Fred?
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Here. Here.
Let me give you a hand.
Here, let's get that...
Uh-oh.
I'll tell you what let's do.
Why don't we just move over to the couch,
and maybe we can introduce
our next segment.
Good idea.
Uh, now, now, now, now, wait--
wait, wait, wait a second.
We didn't show them
that the lamp works.
No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait.
This segment is over.
Not yet, it isn't.
Now, this is important.
I want everyone to know
that at M&B Hardware,
the job gets done.
Uh, plug in the lamp, Mr. Fix-It.
Oh. Here we are.
Yes...
(music plays)
Lucy: Now, uh, don't-- don't--
don't forget, folks,
if this happens to you,
if this happens to you, you can get
new fuses at M&B Hardware--
7207 Hill St.,
Pasadena, California, 91106.
(music playing)
(theme song playing)
♪ Every day I'm better
than I ever was before ♪
♪ Every day I'm loving,
living more and more ♪
♪ Every day holds keys
to possibilities galore ♪
♪ Every day is better than before ♪
♪ How you feel depends on who you are ♪
♪ Who you are depends on what you do ♪
♪ What you do is mostly up to you ♪
♪ It's true ♪
I You can make a better you I
♪ Every day is a new world
that I'm eager to explore ♪
♪ Every day opportunity
knocks at my door ♪
♪ Every day I'm loving,
living more and more and more ♪
♪ And every day is better than ♪
♪ Keep on saying, "Yes, I can" ♪
♪ And every day is better than before ♪
(music playing)
(both scream)
I think I bent my wonton.
What are you doing up
in the middle of the night, anyway?
Oh, well, I had a hard time sleeping.
I'm worried about the business.
Oh, come on now.
I guess we have been losing
some customers
since Hardware Heaven
opened up their new branch.
Is that what's keeping you up?
No. No, no, no.
I was worried somebody would finish
my broccoli and goat cheese casserole.
Trust me. It would have
stayed there all winter.
You know, Curtis,
you really don't have to worry.
M&B Hardware
can stand a little competition.
Even from a big chain.
- You really think so?
- Absolutely.
And always remember,
we're in this together.
You have got me for a business partner.
Oh, Lord.
Hi. We didn't know
anybody else was up.
Oh, what are you doing up, son?
Well, I'm too worried to sleep.
And I can't sleep because he can't sleep.
So what are you worried about, Ted?
Well, there are 40,000 first-year
law students in the United States,
and we are all graduating
at the same time.
Now, how am I ever gonna find a job?
I read in the paper that 72%
of all law students
flunk the bar exams.
- That's good.
- Right.
No, wait a minute. That's bad.
What if I flunk?
No way.
You are the smartest man
in the whole McGibbon family.
Well...
What's going on?
Becky, what are you doing up?
I can't sleep.
Oh, what's the matter, sweetheart?
Patty and I had a fight.
I'm not gonna speak to her
for a hundred million years.
Well, by that time,
you'll have a lot to catch up on.
Trust me, Becky,
you and Patty will make up.
- You sure?
- Positive.
Best friends fight all the time.
Boy, you and Grandpa
must really be best friends.
(Lucy laughs)
Hey. It's party time!
Kevin, you too?
It's 1:30 in the morning.
I can't sleep.
So what are you worried about?
I'm worried "Miami Vice" will be cancelled
before I'm old enough to watch it.
Well, as long as we're all up, let's eat.
Oh, thank you. All right.
Oh, this looks good. Mm.
Mm, what is it?
My science project.
I'm learning to grow mold.
Things are sure slow around here.
Yeah.
Our business died
and went to Hardware Heaven.
Oh, um...
- Can I help you?
- Can I help you, madam?
Welcome to M&B,
home of all your hardware needs.
Today we have a special,
a two-for-one sale.
You buy any two items, and I,
for one, will be thrilled.
Two... for one...
thrilled...
Mrs. B.
Uh, what can I do for you, madam?
I'd, uh, I'd like a flyswatter.
One flyswatter coming right up.
There you are.
- How much is that?
-$1.65.
Oh, I can get that at Hardware Heaven
for 99 cents.
Oh. Well, maybe so, but...
will they take the time
to show you how to use it?
I don't think so.
No, of course not.
(fly buzzing)
Oh, you're in luck.
There's our demonstration fly now.
Demonstration fly?
Yes. Yes, he just works for us.
Yes.
Ah. Ah-ha.
(laughs)
(buzzing stops)
(buzzing starts)
(buzzing stops)
(buzzing starts)
-(buzzing stops)
- Ah-ha!
I'm going to Hardware Heaven.
Ooh!
Attention, everyone.
Our troubles are over.
I have in this box
a surefire sales promotion.
I knew you wouldn't let us down, Curtis.
What brilliant idea
have you come up with?
Promotional potholders.
There we are.
One side, our name, on the other,
"When your home repair problem
is too hot to handle"!
L, um, I hate to burst your bubble,
Curtis,
but I haven't seen promotional potholders
since Wendell Willkie ran for President.
I liked Willkie.
(imitates siren)
Customer at 4:00.
Hey, that looks like
Fred Dunlap the TV star.
- Oh, yeah.
- Good morning, everybody.
Both:
May I help you, Mr. Dunlap?
Freeze!
I will take care of Mr. Dunlap.
Good morning, sir.
What can I do for you today?
Well, sir, uh, I have a problem
with my dish spritzer.
You see, there's a kink
in the whatchamacallit,
and every time I turn it on,
instead of spritzing out the front,
it sort of goes like...
out the side.
You know what I mean?
Uh...
Uh, allow me. Uh, allow me.
Does it go...
or is it spritzing and...
at the same time?
Well, no, it's spritzing and going...
yes.
Oh, well, you're lucky
you've got a little spritz left.
He has some left.
Uh, sometimes-- sometimes the...
...turns into...
How do I fix it?
Uh...
Allow me.
Obviously,
you need a replacement hose.
I would suggest nylon
and a few number-three clamps.
I'll get them for you, sir.
Okay, thank you. You know,
if I had to call a plumber,
it would cost me a fortune.
Oh, yes.
I'll cut the hose for you, Mr. McGibbon.
Of course you will.
You know, Mr. Dunlap,
I just love your TV show.
"Wake-Up Pasadena."
It's my favorite program.
Must be exciting
to be a talk show host.
- Well, it is. It is. But it's hard work.
- Yeah.
You know, I do five shows a week.
- No.
- Yes.
Sometimes I don't know
where my next guest is coming from.
- Oh, really.
- Mm-hmm. Yes.
- Oh.
- Here you are, Mr. Dunlap.
I wrote out a few simple instructions
as to installing the new hose.
You should have it fixed in,
oh, ten minutes tops.
Thank you very much, sir.
I don't know what I'd do without you.
- You know, you are a regular Mr. Fix-It.
- Thank you.
Curtis McGibbon is Mr. Fix-It.
What?
Here is your next guest
for "Wake-Up Pasadena."
Mr. Fix-It.
You know, that's not a bad idea.
It's a great idea.
Oh, I don't think I'm TV material.
Although, a great many people say I have
a strong resemblance to Mr. Whipple.
I like it. I mean, it's folksy.
Oh, yeah. Mr. McGibbon's
as folksy as you can get.
He sure is.
Okay, let's do it.
I'm gonna talk to my producer.
We'll set it up for next week.
How about that?
Oh, wonderful.
And would you just
charge this, please?
Of course. Yes, indeed.
- Oh, how great.
- Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
How about that?
Congratulations, Mr. McGibbon.
Oh, now everybody will know
what M&B has to offer
that Hardware Heaven doesn't--
personal service.
We are going to be great on TV.
By George, I can see it now.
We're gonna--
What do you mean "we"?
Well, I just assumed that I was
gonna be on television with you.
Assume this.
Over my dead body.
Why can't I be on TV?
Because when it comes to home repair,
you are a total
and complete incompetent.
You'll mess things up
and make a fool out of me.
Well, aside from that.
Curtis, please, look.
It's not for me.
It's for our grandchildren.
Would you deny little Kevin and Becky
the thrill of seeing
their grandmother on television?
Just look at those sad little eyes.
They seem to be saying,
"Let Grandma be on television."
Funny.
In my pictures of Kevin and Becky,
their sad little eyes seem to be saying,
"Tell Grandma to buzz off."
Can you believe
the cost of groceries nowadays?
Mom, what are you doing
with Curtis' old chair?
Well...
Curtis will not let me
go on television with him
because he says I don't know anything
about making home repairs.
Well, this ought to show him.
Well, he's getting the mail.
He'll be right in.
Good.
- Curtis?
- Yeah?
I fixed your lounge chair.
Oh, you did, did you?
Yes, I did, did l.
Now, look.
See? Takes a load off your feet.
Takes a load off your mind.
Now for a little relaxing vibration.
Uh...
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa.
Mom, are you all right?
Yeah.
I never felt so relaxed in my life.
Lucille, your fate is sealed.
You are not going on television with me.
Well, you tried, Mom.
Yeah.
A lot of good it did me.
A lot of good it did me.
Mom, can I get you anything?
You want a cup of herb tea or something?
Herb who?
Tea.
No, thank you.
All right.
I'll just sit here
all by myself.
Nobody needs me, nobody wants me.
Nobody's listening.
They're all out of pathetic range.
-Becky!
-No!
Come on, Becky, please!
Forget it. No way.
Kevin.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
What's the matter?
Oh, nothing.
(sighs)
What's the matter with you?
Oh, nothing.
(sighs)
Oh, come on, Kevin.
Obviously something's wrong.
Becky and Patty
won't let me play with them.
Oh, why won't you let Kevin
play with you?
Because he doesn't know
how to play Kids Trivia.
He just gets in the way
and makes a mess.
Oh, now, darling, darling.
Kevin needs an older sister
to teach him things.
Just because he can't do something,
that doesn't mean that you're
going to exclude him.
But you said Grandma
can't be on TV with you
because she doesn't know anything
about home repairs
and she'll make a mess.
Oh, well, yeah.
That has nothing to do
with what...
So?
So you're not being fair either,
are you?
Answer the girl.
Uh, uh, well, no, I'm-- I'm...
not being fair either.
Okay, Kevin. You can play with us.
Yippee!
Well?
All right, Lucille.
You can be on television with me.
Yippee!
- Way to go, Grandma!
- Yeah!
Way to go, Kevin. Yeah! Boy.
- Here you go, Mom.
- Thank you, dear.
Is that what you're gonna fix
on television today, Grandpa?
Yes, indeed, Becky.
That's the one.
Grandpa gave your dad and me
that as a wedding gift.
(laughs)
And they got married anyway.
- Grandma?
- Hmm.
When you go on television today,
will you say hello
to Kevin and me?
- Well...
- Yeah!
I'd love to, but I think
that's against the rules.
Okay. I understand.
I'll tell you what. Why don't we make up
a secret signal that means hello?
That way I can say hello to you and Kevin
and nobody else
in the whole world will know.
I got it. Do this, Grandma.
Kids.
Well, now,
that's really a good idea, Kevin,
but maybe we should try something
that's a little more secret.
Why don't we do what Carol Burnett does
when she says hello to her grandmother?
She just does this. She pulls on her ear.
Wow, that's awesome.
Awesome.
Yeah.
Okay, don't forget now.
That's what I'll be doing for you.
Hey, it's getting late.
Shouldn't you guys be going?
- Yeah.
- Curtis: Oh, yes.
Curtis:
Show time.
Don't forget to smile, Dad.
Oh, no, no, I won't.
I'll be looking bright and chipper.
Hey, hey, hey, you're forgetting
your tools and everything.
I am Mr. Fix-It.
You are the assistant.
All right, here we go.
In five, four, three, two...
Okay, welcome back to "Wake-Up Pasadena."
Now, today our first guest
is going to come out
and he's gonna tell us
how to repair things ourselves
and save ourselves a bundle.
You'll see.
Welcome, please, Mr. Fix-It.
Well, hi there, Mr. Fix-It.
- Hello, Ferd.
- Fred.
Fred.
And, uh, is this the lovely Mrs. Fix-It?
Actually, I'm his business partner
Lucy Barker.
I'm the "B" in M&B Hardware.
That's M&B Hardware,
7207 Hill St.,
Pasadena, California, 911--
- We get the idea, Mrs. Barker.
- O6.
Well, what are you
going to show us today, Mr. Fix-It?
With a few simple repairs,
this lamp could easily be put
into working order.
I see.
Now, what do we have to do to it.
Oh, well, we have to replace
the broken switch.
Mm-hmm.
And glue this part back
onto the lamp itself.
All-- All you need
are a few simple tools.
First a screwdriver.
Uh, the screwdriver.
And-- And then of course a new switch.
The new switch.
And, finally, the strongest adhesive
on the market,
wacky glue.
The wacky glue.
Give me that.
This is all very interesting,
but we're running a little late.
Do you think we could move it along?
Oh, yes. You go on
to the next step, Mr. Fix-It.
Your trusty assistant will fix--
I'll fix the switch.
Oh, uh, uh... all right.
Now, we'll, uh, we'll check the plug
to see if there are any frayed wires.
No frayed wires on that. This is fine.
Now it is time to repair
the lamp itself.
If my assistant
would apply the wacky glue...
- Right.
- Yes.
Uh, and for proper adhesion,
it is important to put glue
on both pieces.
Right, right, right.
- But, please, be conservative.
- Yes, sir.
You may not believe this, but the most
common mistake people make
is to use too much glue.
Yeah, that's right.
And that is sloppy, sloppy, sloppy.
Yes, sir. Don't be sloppy.
So, Mrs. Barker, why don't you, uh,
tell us a little bit about yourself?
Uh, well, I...
(laughs)
I have a lovely daughter Margo
and a lovely son-in-law Ted
and two lovely grandchildren,
Becky and Kevin.
Oh.
- Hi, Grandma!
- Hi, Mrs. B!
Well, Mr. Fix-It, that--
that looks pretty good, I must say.
Oh, yes, indeed. Yes.
The instant wacky glue makes contact,
it's impossible to pry it loose.
Well, that looks as good as new.
Which wasn't too good to begin with.
What are you doing?
Glued my fingers to my ear.
Why?
"Why?"
I put too much on.
I just wiped it off like that.
Oh, all right.
Well, let me help you.
Ow! Let go.
I can't let go.
I'm stuck too!
Well, Mr. Fix-It, I wanna thank you
very much for being here today.
This was a great pleasure.
It really was.
And you too, Mrs. Barker.
This was just wonderful.
Okay? l..
Well, what do you know?
It looks like we're stuck.
Yeah, I guess that's why
they call it wacky glue, huh, Fred?
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Here. Here.
Let me give you a hand.
Here, let's get that...
Uh-oh.
I'll tell you what let's do.
Why don't we just move over to the couch,
and maybe we can introduce
our next segment.
Good idea.
Uh, now, now, now, now, wait--
wait, wait, wait a second.
We didn't show them
that the lamp works.
No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait.
This segment is over.
Not yet, it isn't.
Now, this is important.
I want everyone to know
that at M&B Hardware,
the job gets done.
Uh, plug in the lamp, Mr. Fix-It.
Oh. Here we are.
Yes...
(music plays)
Lucy: Now, uh, don't-- don't--
don't forget, folks,
if this happens to you,
if this happens to you, you can get
new fuses at M&B Hardware--
7207 Hill St.,
Pasadena, California, 91106.
(music playing)
(theme song playing)