Libre De Reir (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Amor Canero (Prison Love) - full transcript

The inmates bring in their first homework assignment: five things they hate. Comedian Coco Celis visits the class and gives feedback. Conjugal visits, love, marriage and breakups are at the core of several stand-up routines. While...

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
This workshop teaches you
how to share everything you see

from a comedic point of view.

The key is learning
how to laugh at your own tragedies

and not the other way around.

Tragedies make for great comedic material

because human beings have discovered

that laughter
is much more effective than crying.

So, when you write something
that hurts you, or hurts the world,

and you externalize it
and turn it into comedy, you relax.

It no longer weighs on you,
you can see it differently.

That's why comedy is so cathartic.

The differences in age
and the length of sentences are key

because some haven't been out in a while.

So, I feel it's going to be complicated.


Toughen up!




-How long have you been married?
-23 years.

-No way!
-I only lasted three years.

-Three years?
-With both of them.


-Damn! This just got interesting!
-In what country did that happen?

Well done, Aída!

Aída was like, "I married,
divorced, and remarried."

Yeah, but you deserve someone loyal.

My other half
must be waiting for me outside.

But you know what I don't like?
Living with someone.

-Of course.

Yeah, I don't...

-Hello, girls! I saw that!
-Hey, it's the teacher!

-How are you doing?

I have a surprise for you today.


His name is Coco Celis
and he's a great comedian.

His style of comedy
is completely different from mine,

and I brought him here
because it's important for you to see

how different comedic minds work.

Everyone has their own style.
Everyone sees things differently.

He may see a joke where I didn't,

or he may find something funny
that I didn't and vice versa.

So, Coco's gonna sit over there.


Do you always wear your...

Yes. They don't allow caps
or hats in prison.

-That's so stupid.

Yeah, but how did you pull it off?
Because they tell us, "Take that off!"

He's not a criminal,
so that's the difference.

-That's why they let him do it.
-A tiny difference...

Are you really not a criminal?

-No, but... Well, I am...
-His jokes kill.

-...but I haven't been caught.

I'm really excited.


I've never been inside a prison before
and it's very intense.

I will never forget this, ever.

Today, you'll be reading
your homework aloud,

"Five things that you hate."
Then, I'll give you feedback

on how to turn what you just read
into comedic material.

Obviously, I hate being here.

But the thing I hate the most

is the hygiene measures
created during the pandemic.

They said, "No more conjugal visits."

I mean, locked up,
no conjugals, no doing the deed,

what are we going to do? God, kill me now!

And then, after eight long months,
they say conjugal visits are allowed,

but only for one night.

I mean, one night
is not enough for anything, dude!

You get there and are like,
"I'm ready! Hurry, go!"

So, you think, "Okay, we have four hours."

"Hurry up! Eat something and drink water,
so you come back to life." Right?

But that's not the worst part.

This is all at 7:00 a.m.
Not even the morning news is that early.

-At 7:00 a.m. you hear, "Get up."
-That's so sad.

So I asked the guard, "Why at 7:00 a.m.?"

And what they said was that COVID,

after spending a certain number of hours
with someone, is contagious.

I'm Alejandra, thank you very much.

Here I am, all sad with no visitors...

I needed a boyfriend.

So a friend tells me,

"No. You have to experience
a prison romance."

"Listen, I have a buddy
next door in the penitentiary.

"He'll be at the slide
and you can peek through the handrail.

"You can communicate in sign language."

I said, "Okay."

And it turns out that communicating
in sign language takes forever.

Like three hours. Because doing...

"Hello," took around three hours.

I'm Aída, thank you.

You did very well, you just went too fast.

I mean, your relationship was going well.
You were doing well, until one day...

-You should add that.
-"Until one day..."

Like, "It was going well, until one day,
a bee stung me and I started...

"And the guy thought
I was cussing at him..."

-I'll add that.
-"...and so he dumped me."

The women are really funny.
They are all very funny.

It's like, women embrace
their emotions more,

it's easier for them to process them.

Who wants to be a mom?

I'm 44 years old
and I have a two-year-old daughter.

I wanted to get pregnant,

but you know how medicine is,
it will help you or fuck you.

So... my husband is in a federal prison,

but I still had the goal
of getting pregnant.

So, your partner's in...

Federal prison.

How did you do it, then?

A conjugal visit.

-Can you leave?
-Let him ask.

But... How do I say it?
How are babies made?

In prison,
you meet people through letters.

You can be with someone for years
and never meet.

You form a bond, but that's it.

-You only know their voice.

You could meet him when you get married.

He can send photos, right?

-You can't.

-In the letters.
-No. Photos aren't allowed.

-You can get in trouble for that.
-Because letters are forbidden.


Letters are forbidden?

-It's considered jailbreak.

-Really? It's like forbidden love.
-How do you send them?

Friends who have conjugal visits.
"Are you going to the penitentiary?"

I'd give the letter to you.
You hide it and take it.

-That way...
-Or she could memorize it and tell him.

-You can't do that!

And then you'd say it wrong, right?

One last question, because I'm curious.

-Enough, you gossip!
-Go ahead!

How long were you pen pals?

-Me? Two years.

-Who has that kind of time? Well, you.
-I was 24.

-Seven years as pen pals? And...
-But I've had a lot of pen pals.

-Yes, of course.

They all ask, "What do you look like?"

So I'd say, "I'm like Fiona,
just not as green." Right?

I mean, I've got curves.

I've always been straightforward,

-because you could lie.

I could say, "I look like Jennifer Lopez."

But he liked it,
so he sent a photo and I thought,

"This guy's cute,
he's trying to trick me."

He had blue eyes,
so I thought he was from Michoacán.

"I bet he's lying
and he's with the Michoacán cartel."

Because they also lie about their crimes,
so you have to investigate things,

then ask your friends
if he gets visitors and stuff like that.

So, I took a chance.

But he was no fool,
because when I went to the penitentiary,

he hid and said,
"If she's ugly, I won't come out."

-What a jerk!

But when he saw me, he said,
"She's chunky, but okay. I'll go for it."

-My God!
-"She didn't lie."

-Besides, he had a type, right?

And I like guys who are,
as we call them here, "scruffy."


-Yes, rough.

And here, we call preppy guys "pancakes."


And I ended up
with a pancake instead of a scruffy guy.

Why "pancakes?"

-Because they're soft.
-They're soft and cute, like pancakes.

-Yes, and they tempt you.

-Yes, that's right.
-My boyfriend is like that.

-Well, moving on from gossip...

-That was some juicy gossip.
-He asked.

-Can I come back just to gossip?


Today, we talked a lot about love.

Regardless of context,
people look for love wherever they are.

The fact that they're in here

and are still looking
to find love is amazing.

Because, I mean,
it's easier if you're a lesbian.

But if you're not, trying to find
someone out there is impressive.

And they do it. I mean, I have friends
who cry because they can't find a partner.

It's like, dude, I've lived it.
If you really want it, you find it.

If people in prison can do it, so can you.

I had no idea how far people would go

to figure it out and use their creativity
to find a partner.

Right? We take it for granted out there,

but in here,
it appears to be a very strong need.



For homework, I had to write five things
I hate about myself,

and well, I have like 25 here,
and I didn't have to think too hard.

First of all, I hate being gay. Sorry.

And I hate it mostly because of the taboo
and the social labels that come with it.

It took me almost 17 years
to accept who I am.

That fear of, "What will my family say?

"What will my dad say?
What will my mom say?

"What will God say?" Right?

I hate hypocrisy.
Like, "Hi, girl," then, "This ugly fag."

Whatever, let them lie.

Actually, I shot my ex-husband
and he still has the bullet in his ass.

-I'm sorry, you shot him?
-Yes, because he cheated on me.

It's true, dude!

It was really hard
having to dress like a man all the time

and having short hair.
I love having long hair.

Not being able to wear a dress,
high heels, or lipstick.

My real name is Alfonso,
that's what my parents named me.

He was born like that.


-With that inclination.
-We just didn't realize it.

I never imagined he had that inclination

because he was very flirty
with the ladies.

-But when he was 16, he...
-It was before that.

I'm a stylist and image consultant.
I have a certificate.

I worked in Satélite,
but they wouldn't let me dress as a woman.

They said, "You're a good stylist,
but you're not good for the salon's image.

"Thank you for all your work."

So, I dressed as a woman
and stood on a corner,

and I was getting in and out of cars,
and making money,

so I thought, "This is what I'll do."

When I saw her prostituting herself...
My God...

I said, "Alfonso, think. Don't be a fool."

"I'm not Alfonso! I'm Leslie!"

"I'll call you Leslie
when you've earned it.

"In the meantime I won't,
because you're being stupid."

He's going to officially change his name.

Yes, he's changing everything.
I said, "Do whatever you want."

As long as
you don't change parents, it's okay.

And the fifth thing I hate
is my stupidity.

Why my stupidity?

Because it landed me in jail,

and fucked up my kidney,
my intestines, and my blood pressure.

It also cost me many opportunities.

And now, I've also lost five years
and four months of my life.

That's why I hate my stupidity.

Damn, the LGBT group...

I didn't expect so much drama.

I don't expect anybody
to say something funny on the first day.

At most, the people who can improvise
may tell a joke or two,

but I don't expect much drama.

With the five things they hated,

they were all like, "Okay,
let's start with my childhood."

And it's like, "Dude, hold on."

I have a girlfriend.


I talk to her every day...

... using an ancient artifact
called "the payphone."

It's more practical than WhatsApp,
and you only need one finger.

If you hang up by slamming it,
it's like sending a poop emoji.

Look, I think it's funny
you still get visits

from the same girlfriend
you had outside so many years ago.

I kind of have my doubts about her.

No. You should trust me.

-How long have you been together?
-Almost 12 years.

All right, that's cool.

-You've been here...
-11 years.

-And how many do you...
-Wow! That's hilarious, dude!

-Explore it.
-He doesn't think so, Coco!

No. I mean, it is funny, but...

You must be great in bed.

I'd rather leave that label
for someone else.

But are you allowed conjugal visits?

How was it? "I don't know
what you're talking about."

You can talk about how long
you've been together but apart.

-Like, the advantages it has?

Like, maybe the secret is
not seeing each other as much.

And that's when you, and everybody,
can point out the differences

between the outside and here.
"You have cellphones and WhatsApp,

"but in here, it's still 1980
and we have payphones."

-"On the bright side,

"if I get mad at her,
I can slam the phone, which you can't do.

-"The downside is I don't get pictures."

Our world is being destroyed
by our mindset.

I analyze things a lot.
I watch a lot of TV.

I was looking at my phone,
which is why I was punished by the way.

But fortunately, thanks to that tool,
I met a great woman, who is now my girl,

and we get along great.

She's a super woman.
I don't mind bragging.

-Hello, how are you, you beautiful,

cute, lovely woman? What are you doing?

Hi, honey. I'm just resting a bit.

-Did you sleep well?
-How do you think,

after the way you shook me yesterday?

Good, honey. Thank God. And you?

Excellent, darling.

Well, I woke up today
loving you even more.

Oh, yes. Lovely lady.
Me too and you know it.

I downloaded the Facebook app
and I decided to find a girl.

I'm not into men, I'm heterosexual.

And finding a woman here,
with all the inmates, is problematic.

From the start,
I would tell them, "I'm in prison."

Millions told me, "Goodbye.
Take care, you fucking kidnapper, creep."

And then, well... I met my girl.

I deleted my Facebook
and I focused on her.

We've been together for almost a year.
She's a great person, she's an angel.

I'm a lawyer and my goal...


...from the bottom of my heart,
is to get Jesús, who is my partner,

out of prison. And I'll succeed.

My children don't know about him.

It's complicated because the people
I've told about my relationship with him,

they got scared
and even stopped talking to me.

So, I decided I wouldn't tell anybody
until Jesús was out,

then I won't need to tell them
that he was in prison.

On my first date with Jesús,
I got his record to go through,

and see if he was being honest.

We had a great connection,
great chemistry. It was really great.

In spite of where he is,
Jesús has been a better partner

than all my exes.
And they should know, because it's true.

Later on, I met my third wife.

She's a curvy girl.
She falls under the "thick" category.

Having a big girl at home
means you get double the pleasure.

First, when you come,
and then when they get off you,

because you can finally breathe.

But the real advantage
of having a big wife at home

is that they warm you up when you're cold
and they cast shade when it's sunny.

My name's Juan Carlos,
also known as Carlín.

Thanks for listening.

The guys are always like,
"Man, I don't know. I'm sorry I was rude."

I mean, I know how rude they are,
so they don't have to pretend.

That's also the reason
why I swear around them a lot

and joke a bit more, so they can relax.

One of the things...

...I hate about myself
is my substance use. Right?

If it were up to me,
I wouldn't take any medication,

but I have to take them, because
otherwise I'd go brain-dead. Right?


This is levetiracetam.
It's for epileptic seizures.

I used to be in Block 8.

I used to run
and tell my friend Honda here,

"Honda, I'm feeling sick."
Then I'd get all spastic.

So he'd say, "Grab Chucky!
He's lost his marbles!"

And I'd tell him afterwards, angry,

"They're yelling things at me."
"Don't listen to them,

"just tell them
you're a better break-dancer."

The one who surprised me the most
was Orlando,

because he dared to talk about epilepsy.

He surprised me, but actually,

everybody was very consistent
with their personalities.

I hope I do well. I want to do my best,

I want to get something out of this,
either personally or spiritually, maybe.

Besides becoming a better person,
I want to learn something.

Creating comedy is serious business.

I find it really hard to make jokes.

I really think my life is funny sometimes,

but writing it down is very hard.

I have to write things down,
because I can't be spontaneous.

You know why?
Because I'm concerned about the technique,

the steps we have to follow,
and that inhibits me a bit.

Since I'm worried about that,
I don't let the ideas flow.

My biggest challenge is my suffering,

because I will have to revisit my pain

and I was in a very bad place.
But now, I'll turn that into comedy.

When I give this workshop,
I forget that it's a painful process.

The hardest part
is knowing where to guide them.

The first exercise is always more generic.
They still don't think like comedians.

They don't have a structure.
So, I try to structure them there,

and in the second exercise
we get to see if they listened.

So, I hope they did.

It's going to be difficult,
but I have faith.


This class will be different.

These words are derogatory.

Contrary to popular belief,
I didn't get HIV because I'm gay.

I got it because I'm a slut.

I'm a bit of a clown.

-What did you do before?

-You say.

Listen to me, asshole!

That's when it all went to shit,
because he kept interrupting.