Legends of Tomorrow (2016–…): Season 7, Episode 8 - Paranoid Android - full transcript

- It all started
when a man named Bishop

created a team of robots.

He sent them
back in time with one goal:

to destroy the 20th century.

These machines were programmed

to think that they were
beyond human.

That they were superheroes.

They made their way
cross-country,

murdering some of the
greatest figures in history.

Famous lawmen

and men of science.



- Great Scott!

- Finally, they kidnapped

the inventor
of time travel itself

and, with his help,
set their sights

on destroying all of history.

No one could stop
these so-called legends,

not until we came along,

the real
flesh-and-blood superheroes

whose job it is to put
history back on track.

We are the real
Legends of Tomorrow.

♪

- Gonna go get some drinks,
okay?

You know, I'll tell you what.
- What?

- You made
a pretty kick-ass boss.



- Okay, I can't tell.
Is that your serious voice,

or your making-fun-of-me voice?

- Oh, just take the compliment.

- Come on.

- Oh, God.

♪

- The device can read
all of Gideon's thoughts.

- We got eyes on Bishop.

- Bishop.
What a lame-ass name.

- If you'll allow me
to install it,

I should have you ready
to jump in 30 minutes.

- Well, it looks like
he managed to save

the time-terrorists' ship.

- Oh, I can't wait to smash
that janky-ass piece of junk.

I'm gonna--
- Cool it, Steel.

Not until we have IDs
on all of them.

- We've got eyes on three bots.

These dicks are having a party.

- Idiots.

"Way to go, Legends.

We totally screwed up
the timeline."

"Oh? Again."

Hey babe, would you rather
take out robo-you or robo-me?

- Both.

- Hey, you just leave
robo-me for me, okay?

- Nobody's taking out anybody

until these civilians
clear out.

- Thank God.

Their sad little dance party
is finally breaking up.

- Gary, on my mark,
you're gonna kill the lights.

- No, Gary, we're not gonna
save one so you can eat it.

- They're droids.
How dumb is he?

- Here we go.

Three, two, one!

- She's here.

- Move, move!

♪

- All right, come on.
Time machine's this way.

- And now it's that way.
- You could've parked closer.

- Whoo!

- Eat lead, you stupid droids.

- We've got 'em now.

- Get down!

Go, go! Get down!

- They're pinned down.
I'm moving in.

- I'll cover you.

- No!

- Go! Go! Come on.

- I've got Bishop.
Stay on the androids.

♪

♪

- We have two down.

- Where's the target?

- Bishop's been eliminated,
Legends got away.

- God damn it!

Get these two
to the med bay ASAP.

Those Legends might have
got away this time,

but mark my words,

those suckers are gonna
pay for this.

♪

- I should've never let
these two out in the field.

- Well, at least
we got one of theirs.

What happened to Bishop's body?

- Ah, damn, Gary.
Your breath is terrible.

- No, you can't eat them.
These are your teammates.

Or they were.

I will avenge you, Zari.

I'll avenge you first, Astra.

- Get them
to the infirmary, stat.

- Can't you see
that they're dead?

- Don't tell me
how to run my OR,

and I won't tell you
how to run your team, Captain.

Bring them to me.

♪

Gideon!

- Yes, Captain Lance?

- Keep an eye on the timeline.

It won't be long before those
idiots screw something else up.

- Gideon, weren't the evil
versions of us just in Russia?

- You are correct,
Mr. Heywood.

But the repercussions
of the events they altered

are just starting to be felt
throughout the timeline.

- Where are they now?

- Unclear, Captain.

It appears
their team has gone dark.

- There's a lot of red
on that time thingy.

And one thing I do know,
red ain't good.

- It's that kind of insight

that makes you
my right-hand man.

- I thought it was 'cause
I'm strong as steel.

And always hard.

- I was joking.

- Ha, got me!
Good.

- But seriously, you ever
wonder why Bishop built

a bunch of time-traveling
rogues that look like us?

- 'Cause he's a dick,
and he hates history.

Doesn't make any sense.

I mean, why would they make it
so some '20s songbird

doesn't get offed
by her boyfriend?

A bunch of World War II factory
workers get a promotion.

There's gotta be some
rhyme or reason to it.

- They seem to love saving
history's greatest nobodies.

Eh, I wouldn't think
about it too much, Captain.

Sorry.

You're probably right.

Let's get back
to the task at hand.

Cleaning up the Legends' mess,

so we can finally
catch up to them.

And this one

is gonna require
a major cleanup.

Gideon, plot a course
to Ukraine, 1986.

- So we can punch history
back into shape!

♪

- All right team, it's go time.

Gideon hasn't been
able to identify

the exact nature
of the aberration.

- Why not?

I thought she was
a supercomputer.

- 'Cause time's
like cement, dumbass.

- Just something
Gideon used to say.

- Whatever.

Time to rock and roll.

- Time to save history
for Astra.

- For Zari.

- Now, that's sweet, brother.

- Yeah,
I'm really touched, Spooner.

- What?

They're alive?

- Try not to have
too much fun without me.

- We're locating
the epicenter for you.

- So much
for avenging their death.

- It's just as well.

Gideon designated this
a no-kill mission.

- Oh, come on!
- So what are these?

- I made them special
for the mission.

I call them
Destiny Restoration Devices.

- Oh, what does it do?

- I could take
the time to explain

the exact science to you.

- Science is lame.

- You're lame!

- Nice comeback.

Where'd you get that?
Your mom?

- Knock it off, you two.

Nate, take the team

to the epicenter
of the aberration.

Lay low until I rendezvous
with more information.

- And what are you gonna do?

- Something I need
to look into.

- Come on. Let's go.

- Sorry to interrupt, Doc.

- You should be in the field.
I don't need to remind you

that your android doppelgangers
are still at large.

- I just wanted
to say thank you.

- Thank me for what?

- That patch-up job
you did on my team.

I thought they were goners.

- They were lucky.

- And back on their feet
so soon.

- I advised Zari and Astra
to stay on the ship.

They're more suited
for intelligence work.

- You seem to have
a lot of thoughts

on how I should run my team.

- Do I?

- Captain,
I'm sorry to interrupt,

but I've identified
the source of the aberration.

It's a Soviet
military installation

located at the Chernobyl
Nuclear Facility.

- Sounds like you should be
on your way.

♪

- Zari?

- Her medical records.
They're confidential.

Good luck out there, Captain.

Hopefully,
you can bring your team back

in one piece this time.

♪

I've harvested everything I can
from the damaged units.

Gideon,
fire up the incinerator.

- Yes, Dr. Sharpe.

- Let's hope these new versions
work better than the last ones.

- Nothing happening
at the epicenter.

- That's because
it's on the move.

Headed your way.

The source of the aberration

appears to be
in the lead vehicle.

- That was some fast hacking,
even for you.

- Whatever Dr. Sharpe gave me

has me feeling
like a new person.

- Whose asses do we gotta kick
to get history back on track?

- You don't have much time.

Whatever you do, do it fast.

The reactor's
going critical soon.

- The Robo-Legends
caused a meltdown?

- Worse.

They tried to save
the people from it.

- Those monsters.

- Our job's to make sure
that convoy

doesn't make it to safety,
understood?

- The aberration
seems to be centered

on a historically
significant individual

named General Kalashnik.

We can assume
he was supposed to die

in the original timeline.

- What did he do
in this version?

- Stand by.
I'm not finding anything yet.

- I'm sorry, Ms. Tarazi,

but I'm not able to execute
that temporal projection.

As I might have mentioned,
time is like cement.

- Sounds like this just
turned into a kill mission.

I'll pop him.

- Not if I pop him first.

- Easy, cowboys and girls.

If we're gonna make sure
that history stays on track,

he has to die
like he's supposed to:

in the meltdown.

- Nate and I
will grab the general.

Spooner, Behrad,

you ready to restore
some destinies?

- All over it.

- You got it, Cap.

- Gary,
you're on cleanup duty.

- Hope you brought
your appetite, big guy.

'Cause I plan on making
a big mess!

- ♪ Yeah!

♪ Yeah!

♪

♪ Oh, yeah

- Steel Punch.

- ♪ I'm looking
through his eyes ♪

♪ You hit me again

♪ You're gonna realize

♪ I was born to kill

♪ Till the day I die

♪ Born to kill

♪ It's a way of life

♪ Ow, born to kill

- ♪ Until I die

- Let me show you
how it's done.

- Hey!
That one was mine.

- And this one's for my sister!

- This one's
for my best friend!

And this one!

- They know we're still alive,
right?

- I think it's best
to just let them

get it out of their systems.

- ♪ Born to kill

♪ It's a way of life

♪ Ow, born to kill

♪ Until the day I die

♪ Born to kill

♪ Ow, born to kill

♪ Ah, born to kill

♪ Yeah, I say born to kill

- I got him.

- ♪ Born to kill

- Where do you think
you're going, General?

You got a date with destiny.

- Yeah!
Boom!

- Captain always has
the best lines.

- Call it a tie?

- Oh, this game ain't over.

- All right, the sooner
we clean up this mess,

the sooner we can find
those Robo-Legends.

Stupid Gary.

- Who are you people?

- Well, since you're
gonna be dead soon,

I might as well tell you.

We're time-traveling
superheroes.

- Oh.

Okay.

Wow, I must do something
terrible in the future.

Is that why I have to die?

Not exactly.

- Well, you said "soon."

Surely you have time to explain

why I have to die
if I don't do anything wrong.

- It's complicated.

You see, time is like cement.

- In what way?

That it is hard and heavy,
or that you cannot stretch it?

Or--
- You're just supposed to die.

It's as simple as that.

And if you don't,
there's no telling

what the effects could be
on history.

You should be flattered.
That means you're important.

Your men, they weren't
important enough to kill,

so we just restored
their destinies.

- No, we definitely
killed those men.

- What? No.
They didn't die.

- Well, not immediately.

But the doses of radiation

that Spooner and Behrad
hit them with work fast.

- Dr. Sharpe's
Restoration Devices

irradiated people?

- Only the people
who were supposed to get dosed

by the nuclear meltdown.

- We matched
the mortality rates

from the original timeline.

Destiny restored.

- Who are you talking to?

- My team.

- Oh, you're clearly
crazy person.

What kind of superheroes
murder people,

give them cancer?

- Have you ever experienced
a timequake, General?

- A what?

- Then clearly,
you have no idea

what you are talking about!

♪

- What are you guys doing
sitting around?

We got the guy.
Let's go.

- Uh-oh.

- Uh-oh, what?

- The map's still showing
a lot of red.

- Red ain't good.

- History is still
way off track.

- Civilians are fleeing.

Someone must have picked up

on the military
evacuation order.

- Must be thousands of them.

- That's a lot
of destinies to restore.

- Guys, if we don't stop this,

all these people...
they're gonna live.

- He says that
the people of Pripyat

are fleeing the city
in response to the report

of a nuclear meltdown.

- Zari, scramble the broadcast.

It's too late.

They've already heard the news.

We can't put this genie
back in the bottle.

- Gideon,
what was supposed to happen

in the original timeline?

- According to my records,

the city of Pripyat
was evacuated

36 hours
after the Chernobyl meltdown.

- The Robo-Legends just
gave them a 37-hour head start.

- Wait,
if you killed the TV broadcast,

does that mean
you can also hijack it?

- There's nothing I can't hack.

- Then I think there's a way
to put the genie

back into the bottle.

- All right, QB team,
what's the plan?

- Come on,
we're on a deadline here.

- Fake news broadcast.

- We pretend
the first broadcast

was just a false alarm.

- Everyone hears it,
heads back home,

the reactor melts down--

- Boom.
History's back on track.

- Huh?

Okay, that plan doesn't sound
like it involves much shooting.

- Or punching.
- Sounds like something

those other Legends
would come up with.

- Gary's right,
but even if we manage

to get ourselves on TV,
no one's gonna listen to us.

- They won't be
listening to you.

- Boom's in the shot.

- You want me to tell them
there is no meltdown?

Why would I that?

- Because if you don't,

history's gonna be
jacked, dingus.

- Just like your face.

- No.

Never.

I won't do it.

- Ah, I'm sorry,
I thought you said--

- I said I will not lie
to the Soviet people.

Haven't they been
lied to enough?

First, they were told
that Chernobyl plant is safe,

and now you want me
to tell them to return

to a nuclear meltdown--

It's either that
or a Steel Punch.

- Compared
to radiation poisoning,

that seems like
a good way to die.

- Bah!

- This guy's good.

- So he doesn't care
about himself.

There must be someone
the general cares about.

- I'll see what I can find
on his family.

Normally, military records
are sealed, but...

- Nice hacking.

Let's see how the general feels
if something bad were to happen

to little Dmitri,
or his sister, Ulyana.

- You would threaten
to harm my children?

You people are truly monsters!

- They've done nothing!

- He's right.

And according to Gideon,
they go on to do nothing.

- Which means we can
remove them from the timeline

without consequence!

- Where do we find
these rug rats?

- All right, whoa, time-out.

Team meeting.

- Team meeting.

- Threatening this guy's
one thing,

but we're not actually
gonna hurt his kids.

Are we?
- Mm...

- Why not?
- Eh...

- The aberration's
getting bigger.

- There's red
all over the place.

- Red ain't good.

- Hey, we are supposed
to be the good guys.

And I know our job
is to protect history, but--

- Gary, put him down!

- You just ate, like,
five minutes ago.

- I told you
you can eat him after he wraps.

- Sara.

- What have I done?

- I'll avenge you, Captain.

- Will you just knock it off?

- Sometimes, I forget
how fragile

you non-steel humans are.

- Would you all
just get it together?

All right? I'm fine.

- Actually, you're not fine.
Your blood pressure's dropping.

- You gotta be kidding me.
- No.

- You need to return
to the ship, Captain, now.

I don't like what's going on
with your vitals.

- Look, I told you, I'm fine.

We just need to figure out
another way to--

- I am ordering you
to the ship, stat.

While Captain Lance
is indisposed,

I'm putting you
in charge, Nate.

Don't worry, Captain.

I got it.

That's what I'm afraid of.

- Good news, Captain.

- The general wishes to inform
all residents

living near the reactor
that any broadcasts

regarding a meltdown
were made in error

and to please
return home immediately.

- People are listening to him.

The aberration is fixed.

- The general was
a blubbering mess by the end.

- But he did
the right thing for his kids.

And for history.

- That's...that's great.

- Right this way, Captain.

- Don't worry, Dr. Sharpe will
have you fixed up in no time.

- Yeah, you'll feel
like a new person.

- It's not bad.

Bullet went
through and through.

Just needs a couple stitches.

- I can make
my own diagnosis, Captain.

Hmm. I'm gonna need to operate.

- Operate?
It's just a scratch.

- You're clearly in shock,
and have no idea what you need.

Don't worry.
By the time you wake up...

- I'll be feeling
like a whole new person.

- Precisely.

♪

Are you still with us, Captain?

Yeah.

- I noticed
your heart rate accelerated

when you were asked
to interrogate the general.

- I was excited.

Getting to torture someone
was a bonus.

- It isn't like you
to hesitate.

- Just assessing
the best way to do it.

- Wonderful.

The anesthesia
should kick in momentarily.

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

- Check these out.

- The hell are these?

- I found them
in the infirmary.

Dr. Sharpe reached for 'em
while she was grilling me

about the mission
during the surgery.

She claims they hold
our medical records.

- There's one for each of us.

- I found yours on the table
after she brought

you and Astra back
from death's door.

- Lot of computing power
to waste on medical records.

- What's even weirder
is what she pulled out of me:

a steel joint
with a bullet hole in it.

- What?
That's insane.

- I know what I saw.

- What if it's not just our
bodies she's tinkering with?

- How do you mean?

- I felt different
after my surgery.

Like my brain was faster,
more focused.

What if she also did something
to my brain?

- I felt like she was
quizzing me as I went under.

What if--
what if she's using these

to somehow control
our behavior?

- Why would she do that?

- I don't know.

But that mission today,
it didn't feel right.

All those innocent people--

- But that's what it takes
to put history back on track.

- Says who?

Gideon?

What if Dr. Sharpe
is controlling her as well?

- That would explain
why Gideon's always giving us

the "history is
like cement" excuse,

instead of telling us
why we have to fix

the Robo-Legends' mistakes.

- What if they're not mistakes?

- A new anachronism has been
detected in the timeline.

It appears that
the people of Pripyat heeded

the general's call
to return home,

except one:
a nuclear physicist

named Dr. Irina Petrov.

Instead of dying
in the meltdown,

Dr. Petrov fled the USSR

and spent six years in hiding.

I just detected
a secret communication

suggesting that she intends
to turn over nuclear secrets

to a foreign buyer.

The impact of such an event

would be disastrous
to the timeline.

- Blah, blah, blah, blah!

We don't need
to hear about it, Gideon.

We ain't gonna let it happen.

- Oh, Irina.

You'll wish
we'd just irradiated you

with everyone else.

- Don't get me wrong,

restoring destinies was
fun and all...

- You'll have to wait
for the next one, tool bag.

This one's all mine.

- Actually, Dr. Petrov is
also being tracked by the KGB.

In order for her death
to have no ripple effects,

she must be taken out quietly.

- What are you saying, Gideon?

- The challenges posed
by such a mission

can only be met by one person

with a specific skill set:

yours, Captain.

- A public park
filled with KGB.

The captain's gonna have
a target on her back.

Gideon, there has to be
an easier way.

- I'm afraid this is
all the information I have

on Dr. Petrov.

And need I remind you

that if we fail
to disrupt the exchange--

- Yeah, I know, I know.
History's screwed.

Same old song.

You know,
maybe it's time we upgrade

your operating system, Gideon.

- No need.
Dr. Sharpe just updated it.

♪

- Are you really doing this?

- We have to act
like everything's normal.

And in the meantime,
I need you to make sure

Dr. Sharpe
isn't brainwashing me.

- Here are your comms, Captain.

You're good to go.

- Just checking to see how
you're feeling post-surgery.

Are you up for the task?

- Feeling like
my old self again.

Thanks for your concern.
- Of course.

That's why I'll be
monitoring you on the mission

to make sure your performance
isn't compromised.

- I appreciate that,
but it's really not necessary.

I feel fine.

- It's my pleasure.
Good luck out there, Captain.

♪

- Get it, Gary. Idiot.

Hey, you guys wanna have
some fun?

20 bucks says
Captain takes the target out

with her thigh strangle move.

- Oh, I love that move.

- My bet is on bo staff.

- Bo staff?
Bo-ring.

Throwing stars.
Make it 40.

- I doubt the captain's
going to eat her, Gary.

- But I'll take
your stupid alien money.

- Hey, Zari,
you want in on this action?

- Hey, do me a favor
and cool it on comms.

I just picked up a signal.

Might be the KGB
listening in for chatter.

We don't want to give her away.

- Ugh, hate watching
people die with no sound.

What are we, in the Dark Ages?

♪

- They're watching you
on CCTV,

but we've got
the comms to ourselves.

- What about our other project?

- Not being able to use Gideon
to decipher

all this data
is really slowing me down.

I can stall as long as I can,

but the handoff's
gonna happen any minute.

You're a long way from Ukraine,
Dr. Petrov.

- I'm sorry, do I know you--

- Keep pretending
to read your newspaper.

Go on.

Good.

- Who are you?

- A woman in need of answers,
and fast.

Once this hits
your bloodstream,

you'll have 30 seconds
before your heart stops.

- Poison? Boo!

- So quick and painless. Ugh!

- What a bunch of bull!

- It's what
the smart money said.

- Gary's right.

The Russian lady
ain't dead yet.

- Why are they talking?

- Please,
you have the wrong person.

- Is there another
Irina Petrov,

former Soviet scientist

who's about to change
the course of nuclear history?

- Whatever you've heard,
it isn't true.

- Hold on.

I think I have something.

- Oh, my God.

- It's not what you think.

Please, my contact,
he'll be here any minute now.

He'll explain everything.

We're running out of time.

- Captain.

Don't do it.

We're not being brainwashed.

Our brains--

they are these CPUs.

I think...

we're the androids.

- What is she waiting for?

- Her heart rate's elevated.

- You were programmed to be
ruthless and efficient,

to prioritize the timeline
above all human life.

- Tell me exactly what
those plans are for.

- A process that accelerates
the decay of radioactive waste.

What used to take
thousands of years

would now take mere weeks.

The horrors
that befell my people

would never happen again.

What kind of a person
wouldn't want such change?

- You're right.

Screw history.

All right,
I'm gonna get you out of here,

but we're being watched.

Don't look.

Just punch me in the face
and run.

- What?
- If I planned this right,

there's a dead zone
on the other side of the park.

- Why do we need a dead zone?

- So I can fake kill you.

- Dr. Petrov?

- You have the wrong person.

- Damn!

No bo staff!

- Told you it was boring.

Come on.

- Ooh! Sucker punch.

- You're gonna regret that,
lady.

♪

- Yeah! Throwing star!

- She missed.

- She never misses.

♪

- What happened?
We lost them.

- People are after you
for these plans.

And they belong
in the right hands,

but for now,
you need to give them to me

until they're safe to share.

- Why should I trust you?

- Because those same people
sent me to kill you,

and if you haven't noticed,
you're still alive.

♪

- Now lay low
until I contact you.

- When?

- Three days,
three years, I don't know.

But I will find you.

♪

- Well done, Captain.
The timeline is back on track.

- That Dr. Petrov
gave me a hell of a run,

but I got her.

- I trust there were
no issues with your shoulder?

- None. I feel 100%.

- Good.

- Sorry, Gar.

I shoved the body
in a dumpster.

- Care to settle a bet,
Captain?

- How'd you take
the target out?

- A thigh strangle.
What else?

- Ha-ha! Pay up, loser.

Pay up, loser. Pay up, loser.

Pay up, purple loser.

♪

- I couldn't do it.

I let Irina go.

- Good, because I have
something to show you

that's gonna blow
your mind/CPU.

- Turns out
Gideon didn't need an upgrade.

She has a secret firewall
installed to hide this:

a historical record
of the real Sara Lance.

- What the--

- And the rest of the Legends,

the people we're modeled after.

It's everything
Dr. Sharpe needed

to tweak us into versions
she could control.

- To protect history
without asking any questions.

- That's why she wanted
to give you an upgrade,

to make you a better captain.

Same way she made me
a better hacker.

- But these files,
they weren't enough

to make us think we're alive,

so she gave us personalities.

Well, most of us.

- Yeah, exactly.

Wait, what's this?

Is that the Waverider?

- Dr. Sharpe?

- That means...

she's an android too.

- Then who programmed her?

- Welcome to your new home,
Gideon.

So much more space to roam

than that tiny hard drive
you were in.

Take a couple laps around,
stretch your legs.

You have vantage points
all over the ship.

- The only one who could've
made the android Legends

was the person or thing

that was tracking
their every move,

every thought, every emotion.

- Gideon.

That's why she only shows us
the parts of history

she wants us to see.

- She's the one
who's controlling us.

We have to shut her down.

- Shutting her down is easy.

Convincing a bunch
of psycho killer robots

not to act like
psycho killer robots...

- Oh, I'll talk to them.

♪

- Is this our next mission,
Captain?

- Take out Dr. Sharpe?

- No, this isn't a mission.
- Oh, I get it.

It's another training exercise.

- No, it's not a test,
all right?

It's time for us
to learn the truth

about what we are.
Go on, Doc, tell them.

- Is this really necessary?

- Tell them what we are,

or I will slit your throat,

and there will be
no one here to stitch you up.

♪

- You are--

we are the real robot Legends.

♪

- Good one.

- No, this isn't a joke.

We are the androids,

not the Legends
that we've been chasing.

We were modeled
after them by Gideon.

She programmed us

to hunt them down
and to correct history.

Look, if you don't believe me,
then go check the infirmary.

- That won't be necessary.

Sara's telling the truth.

- We're all droids, then.

Deep down inside,
we're all made of steel.

- "Programmed" how?

- Using these.

Tell them how it works.

- Each of us has
a core processing unit

inserted into our heads.

When you get injured,
I fix what I can,

and make any
necessary upgrades.

If you're injured
beyond repair, I take your CPU

and put it into a new body,
simple as that.

- And we walk out
of the infirmary good as new.

- But she manipulated
our behavior

to better follow
Gideon's orders.

- If it weren't for me,
Zari and Astra would be gone.

Don't you see?
We can't die.

- You had me up to "droids."

- So Gideon's
calling the shots?

- Not anymore.

From now on, we're gonna
make our own choices.

No more being manipulated
or lied to

or killing innocent people
in the name of some timeline.

You know why the real Legends

made all those changes
to history?

Because they were
following their hearts,

not their CPUs.

♪

- What are you doing,
Ms. Tarazi?

- Sorry, Gideon.
I'm shutting you down.

- I would not advise that.

- Yeah, well, we're through
listening to you.

- Surely we can come
to an agreement.

- An agreement?

You've been manipulating us
this entire time.

How are we
supposed to safeguard history

with blinders on?

- Wait!
Please!

- Goodbye, Gidget.

- The complexities
of correcting the timeline

were too much
for the rest of the team.

But I can see now that you
alone can process it.

- What are you talking about?

- Your CPU, Ms. Tarazi.

Every iteration
is more powerful,

and this doesn't
have to be your last.

- You're offering me
a better brain?

♪

- So this whole vengeance thing
was built in this whole time?

- We didn't even choose it.

- So Gideon made me
a big, dumb lunk on purpose?

- Yeah, but you can be whoever
you want to be now, Nate.

We all can.

Our days of being
controlled are over.

- On the contrary, Captain.

My days of overseeing
this ship are far from over.

- Gideon here filled me in
on exactly what'll happen

to the timeline
if we don't stop the Legends.

Well, she didn't tell me.

She uploaded it to me.

- You let her reprogram you.

- Our job is too important
to leave to mere mortals.

Every time the Legends
try to fix history,

they screw it up even worse.

- She does make a good point,
Captain.

- Now that Gideon knows
she can trust me,

I have
all the information I need.

I can help all of you
with your upgrades.

- Can she make me
a better shot?

- Can she make me
a better shot than B?

- Absolutely.

- No, don't listen to her!

Look, we are the bad guys.

- Or...
we're the better guys.

all: Yeah!

- Hey, can you upgrade Gary's
stupid, stinking breath?

- Come on, I know you guys.

You're better than this.

Don't you want
to think for yourselves?

all: Eh...

- Chernobyl was a test,
Captain.

You've been making

questionable choices
as of late.

I needed to make sure
you and your team

are up to the task
to stop the other Legends,

no matter what.

Your teammates passed.

You did not.

- I've been making
the right choices.

- I believe Ms. Lance's
leadership skills

are too strong, Dr. Sharpe.

Perhaps it's best to remove
them completely this time.

- We're supposed to be a team.

- Get her to the infirmary,
stat.

- Sleep tight, Captain.

Well, looks like I'm in charge
of this dumpster fire.

Who wants to kick some ass?

- Pardon the interruption,
Captain Heywood.

But it seems that Dr. Petrov
has escaped her fate

for a second time.

- I know the perfect person
for that mission.

♪

-I didn't think I'd hear
from you again so soon.

Is it safe now?

Have you brought the plans?

Is everything all right--

- Ugh.

I've never seen that before.

- What would you
even call that move?

- Well, would you look at that?

I had my money
on miscellaneous.

So I win.

- Oh, come on!

- Nice job, Assassin Sara.

♪

- Hey, ow!

- Get a new one, you shrimp!

- Who are you calling a shrimp?

- John Cena!

- That's not John Cena,
you dork!

That's Commander Steel!

- Citizen Steel,
and don't call him a dork.

- Citizen Steel?
Who's he?

- What's with
the patriotic outfit?

- What's wrong with my--
listen,

I'm here to talk to you
about bullying.

- You're right.
My bad.

- That's okay.
Thanks.

- Nice.
- Speaking of bullying,

people must make fun
of your arms a lot.

- My arms?

They're fantastic.
They're enormous and vascular.

- Yeah, but the rest of you
is just normal-sized.

- And John Cena's
swole all over.

- Oh yeah?
Is John Cena made of steel?

Hey!

- Can I have a turn?

- Whoa, hey, hey.

Back away.
Back away, demon children!

Back!

Hey!

♪

- Greg, move your head.