Legends of Tomorrow (2016–…): Season 4, Episode 3 - Dancing Queen - full transcript

Previously on
"Legends of Tomorrow"...

Hello.

Mallus wasn't the only
prisoner to escape.

And now there's magic.

Oh, my God.

An unknown number of
dangerous magical beings

got spat out across the timeline

and now must be sent to hell.

Going somewhere, Raymond?

You think it's Nora.

And if the Time Bureau finds
her first, she's going to tell



them you're the one
who helped her escape.

Ma'am,
your crown jewels are here.

There's absolutely
no reason to worry.

All is in order.

Excellent.

I shall wear them out so my
people can adore their queen.

Yes, of course, ma'am.

Will you be waving from
the north balcony or the south?

I was thinking something
a little more intimate.

Synced & corrected by MaxPayne
== https://subscene.com ==

Wow. Red beans and rice
didn't miss Her Majesty.

Now I understand

how Mr. Mix-a-Lot
got his knighthood.

- Ha ha.
- Sir, Sir



Guys, guys, a little
professionalism, please.

What kind of ripple effect
are we really

looking at here, Nate?

Okay. Right now, the queen

gets institutionalized,

the British monarchy fails,

and England descends into chaos.

Anarchy in the UK.

Which is weird
but... paranormal?

Well, something freaky

is definitely at
the heart of this.

Our magic-tracking device
detected a massive spike.

All right, then we got a live one.

Punk rock London.
Nate, you ready?

Um, well, Ava asked me to
stick around and help launch

the magic operations here.

We need to establish
procedure, protocols,

command structure.

So... desk job.

Nate Heywood, cubicle guy.

Sad little plant on his desk.
Really?

It's prestigious, Sara.

And then when everything's
up and running

I come back to the Waverider.

Fine.

Cool kids are off
to the Jolly Old.

- Ha.
- This is very sleek.

Ah, handles all
your messaging and data,

keeps accurate time in any era,
and counts your steps,

which, to me, is a little
overrated...

And it also contains
the air totem.

- Thanks, Ray.
- I love it.

Well, you're actually the one
I should be thanking.

I feel like you're the only
one I can talk to

about this whole Nora thing.

Secret's safe with me.

Doing bad things
for good reasons

is practically our
mission statement.

Even Amaya did it.

Yeah, but this is kind of
complicated.

The others can handle
complicated.

Maybe.

And then there were five.

Shorter bathroom lines.

Yeah, but no one to watch
Patrick Swayze movies with.

Nate will be back soon.

In the meantime,
we need to go back

before the monarchy
goes anarchy.

Never thought I'd
get to meet the Queen.

Not gonna happen.

Too risky.

And besides, she's not the one

setting off Ray's magic-o-meter.

The Queen's
favorite new band is...

The Smell.

"The Smell"?

Never heard of them,
and I know of every rubbish

punk band there is in London.

That's because they didn't
exist in this timeline.

Gideon?

The Queen's cheeky jig launched

The Smell's rise to stardom.

They were known
as much for their music

as for a series of improbable
anti-establishment pranks.

All with a magical signature.

Okay, so we're looking
for someone in the band.

We could be dealing
with demonic possession,

mind control, illusion,

or maybe just the
run-of-the-mill royal dementia.

Hold on a minute.

There's your
magic man right there.

Obsessed with riches,
given to mischief.

That Irishman there
is a leprechaun.

S-sorry. Are you being
serious or racist?

Both, love.

Why is the weasel
running the show?

If you've got a problem
with me, pie-head,

why don't you just say?

I got a problem with you.

I'm running it, and I say

we need to get close
to that band,

which shouldn't be a problem

because everybody left
on this ship is a punk.

Except for haircut.

He hasn't broken
a rule in his life.

Yep. Not a single rule.

The Hole... cradle of punk rock

and the stickiest floor
in the British Isles.

- Sounds lovely.
- You kids have fun.

I'll have a bottle of hand
sanitizer when you come back.

Ah, you got to love that sound.

What?

- The music...
- It's the dog's bollocks.

Sorry, I can't hear you
over the terrible music.

We're The Smell, and
you're a bunch of mingers.

And we'll be back
when we feel like it.

All right, guys,
here's our chance.

Somebody's got to slip backstage

and get in with the band.

Yeah, leave it to me.

I used to play here
with Mucous Membrane.

I know my way around.

And besides,
you're all bloody Yanks.

- Not you.
- Why not?

I don't like him.

Always perfidious Albion, is it?

Never trust a Brit.

Something like that.

Guys, really, we don't
have time for this.

Somehow Mister Rory
here hasn't realized

that if he's going
to play with fire,

he's going to get burned.

Don't.

Fight!

Oi! You lot!

- Thanks for the lift, mate.
- Get us out of here!

- Come on!
- Go! Let's go!

Oh, let me out, I'm gonna puke.

- Don't let the suit fool you.
- Our man's a punk.

He drove on the wrong side of
the road the whole way here.

- I did?
- Nice.

See you around, mate.

All right, Sara,
I found their hideout.

Heading back to the Waverider.

No, Ray, you are our
guy on the inside.

Look, loud music
makes my nose bleed.

I am not a punk.

- Well, you are now.
- You stay with that band.

Ray? Ray, you there?

Ah, you're pressing
the button too hard.

Oh, right, yeah,
it's my first time.

Listen, mate,
there's an old trick

for unmasking leprechauns.

You spill a bunch of grain
in front of them on the floor,

and they're compelled
to count every kernel.

- Really? That sounds bizarre.
- That's not true.

Is that true?

That's a stupid plan.

Have you got
a better one, big man?

I don't do magic tricks.

Oh, great,
so the plan is no plan.

- Is that your idea?
- Enough! Both of you.

- You know what?
- It is 1977 in London Town.

I'm going to enjoy the sights.

Good luck with your
magic problem.

Did you guys just
make Constantine leave?

We'll get back to you, Ray.

- Not your finest work, bud.
- He's gonna get us killed.

You just don't like guys
with ties.

- That's right.
- It's like a little flag

hanging from someone's neck,
saying, "I'm a liar."

Look, I'll have
Zari follow him, all right?

But in the meantime,
you and I need to help Ray

find this magical creature
so we can send it to hell

before this whole
team falls apart.

- How's it going?
- Good

Great.

All right.
This should be all of it.

These protocols were developed
by Rip and myself

over the last six years.

- I did the drawings.
- Thank you, Gary.

So your job is to just update
all of this

for our new
magical fugitives, okay?

You got it, boss.

And as we say
at the Time Bureau,

the adventure is in the details.

- Hmm.
- Have fun.

You okay?

Um, I'm good, I'm good.

It's just... I know you guys do
things differently here

I just didn't know it was
so protocol-centric.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Look, I know you're used
to zooming around

in a time machine
with all your best friends,

shooting from the hip
and saving history.

Always.

But you know, the Bureau
is not all protocols.

I'm listening.

Come with.

Buckle up Nate,
it's Taco Monday.

- Instead of Taco Tuesday?
- Oh, we dare to defy.

- Whoa.
- Taco delivery.

Are you Mr. Green?

Oh. Name's Gary.

Mr. Green's in the conservatory
with the lead pipe.

Sorry. Bad joke.

- No, that was great.
- Um, yeah.

My name's Mona, by the way,
just... kind of like Mona Lisa

without the Lisa,
so it's just Mona.

Cool.

- Time Bureau? Huh.
- Is that what this place is?

You know, they just
never tell us.

What's a Time Bureau?

Um, you know, like,
daylight savings

and time zones
and stuff like that?

We're in charge of that.

- Okay. Bye.
- Bye.

Oh, it's actually just one...

- Oh...
- One per person.

Okay. Bye.

Okay.
Shh. Got it.

Yeah.

What, did we forget
something in the van?

No, I...

Seeing as I drove you
guys and you didn't pay me,

I thought maybe I could
hang out with you blokes.

Down with the monarchy, right?

I didn't catch your name.

Ray... ge.

Rayge?

- Yep, Rayge...
- That's what they call me,

on account of all
my various rages

against, um, the machine.

Well, I'd like to see
some rage, Rayge.

I'm Charlie.
Come on in.

Guys, do you
remember our driver?

Well, he goes by the name Rayge,

because of his wicked rages.

- Yeah?
- About what?

Oh...

Disco music, right?

The Queen, obviously.

Doing chores
in a timely fashion.

We hate disco, too.

- Yeah. Hate disco.
- Hate it.

I had to move
from New York just to get away

from tight trousers
and platform shoes.

Do you know how hard
it is to walk in those?

Right, let's hear a rage, then.

Ah, go on.

- Uh, at this hour?
- No, I don't like to force them.

You know, I just let them
come naturally.

But it'll happen.

What about you guys?
You know? What makes you tick?

- We're The Smell.
- We're a band.

What more is there to say.

Uh, we're a bit
more than that, Declan.

We're a movement.
We're gonna shock the system.

Wake up all the drones.

Present company included.

Oh!

Sorry, the rice... everywhere.

Sorry.
You see that, Declan?

What?

The rice. The grains
of rice... they're everywhere.

Sorry if you feel the urge

to have to pick up
every single piece.

Mate, are you trying
the leprechaun test on me?

Do you know how hurtful
you're being right now?

Deeply.

Declan's a bit touchy
about being ginger.

- You're all right, Rayge.
- Well, Rayge has got to leave.

We've got to plan
Operation Mum's Bum.

- Mum's Bum.
- Mum's Bum?

Hey, that sounds fun.
I could get into that.

Well, we could use a driver.

Can we trust him?

Well, there's only
one way to find out.

So that's the big highlight?

Eating tacos one day
before the rest of America?

- Yeah.
- Hmm.

Oh, hey. There's a blip
on the magic-o-meter.

It's from
the Pleistocene period.

Clear your schedule.

We've got a report to write.

Or... or... or...

Or we can handle this ourselves.

Without approval?

That sounds dangerous.

You've got two, but I'm sort of
down to my last nipple.

Gary, Ava hired me to
optimize this department, okay?

And I can't do that waiting
three days for approval.

And we can be time bros.

What?

We can be time bros.

- Time bros?
- Yeah.

- Me and you?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, but...

We can reheat your tacos later.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

- Yeah, let's go. Okay.
- This way.

- Okay, here we are.
- Uh, where are we?

St. James's Park,
next to Buckingham Palace.

St. James's Park, you say.

All right, Ray, we're listening.

The Queen's royal corgis
are taking

their afternoon constitutional.

You're gonna nab one
of those little yippers

And bring him back to us.

We're not gonna hurt
the dog, are we?

No. We're gonna
hurt the Queen.

She treats her dogs
to beef Wellington

while poor people are starving.

It's time to
expose her hypocrisy.

- Okay, yeah. No problem.
- Dogs love me.

- Yes, problem.
- They're the Queen's dogs.

They're gonna be guarded.

Question... will the dogs
be heavily guarded?

Well, that's your problem.

It's time to see
how far you'll go.

If you got a rage stored up,
now's the time.

Ray, we can hear you gulping

through the comms.

Do we really have to do this?

I mean, we know that Declan
is not a leprechaun.

Well, your machine says
one of them is magical,

so our job is to find 'em
and get it gone.

You're gonna have to do
this the old-fashioned way.

Corgi-napping?

Gaining their trust
and betraying them.

We'll help you out
with the corgis.

- QB or wet work?
- QB.

Ray, Rory is going to walk
you through this one.

Easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy.

Oh, I see them.

Let's go, pups.

Up and at 'em, Sparky.

You see that bench
in front of you?

- Yeah.
- Sit on it.

Okay.

All right, Ray.

I feel like
I should do something,

like maybe a distraction.

Just wait.

This would go a lot faster

if you just do
your thing, Gordon.

Can we just nick
his van already?

- That's why we're here, innit?
- Give him a minute.

- Mick, you were right.
- It's just the dog walker now.

Go and ask for the corgi.

Ah, excuse me, sir.

I don't know if this
is royal etiquette,

but, uh, if it may
please the Crown...

May I borrow one
of those corgis?

Just take him.

Oh. There are those famous
British manners I've heard of.

Thank you.

Good choice.

How long do you think the
poor lad is going to last

in the clink?

Blimey.

My word, that young man
stole a royal corgi.

- He did it.
- He bloody did it.

Go on, roll up, Declan.

Go, go, go, go, go!

We start off the hour
with an update

of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth's

beloved corgi, Sparky.

Reported missing
earlier this afternoon,

he has finally been
found behind bars

at the South West London
Animal Rescue for Dogs.

From the looks of it, the pooch

has fallen in with a bad crowd.

Well, at least someone from
Buckingham Palace

has glimpsed the real world.

Rayge, Rayge, Rayge!

To the table!

Oh! Snacks, I'm famished.

It'll only hurt
for a minute, love.

- Hurt?
- A tattoo.

Yeah, we all have 'em.

Get 'em after our first prank.

It's a Smell tradition.

Once you get one,
you're one of us, mate.

Oh, that needle's been
sterilized, right?

- See, Charlie, told ya.
- He's a narc.

No, he just doesn't get it.

This isn't a tattoo,
it's a statement.

That ink says you won't
swallow the crap

they force down our throats.

Sometimes you have to do
bad things for good reasons.

So what do you say?

You in?

Yeah.

I'm in.

- Give me the tattoo.
- Yeah.

Now that you're
officially one of us,

the corgi was just for a laugh.

We're gonna make the Queen hand
over her precious jewels.

Yeah. Just one
question... how?

- Leave that part to me.
- I'll work my magic.

Another pint?

Yeah, I'd love one.

You should probably have

something in your
stomach with this one.

Aren't you kind
looking after me?

I try my best.

Did he tell you he's a dark soul

cursed to walk the world alone?

Something like that.

I'll be right back.

Thanks, love.

How the bloody hell
did you find me

up here in Liverpool, eh?

Sara had me install
a tracker in your comm.

Ah.

No one trusts old Johnny Boy.

Can't say I blame you lot.

Yeah, she had a hunch
your baser instincts

would pull you off mission.

Oh, she'd be the one to
bloody know, wouldn't she?

- Here you are, love.
- Thanks.

Just give me a shout
if you want a water.

Will do.

That brooding, anti-hero crap

must be a real
panty dropper, huh?

You tell her
you have four roommates

and sleep on the couch?

- No, I didn't.
- She's my mum.

I'm really wishing I had
not said "panty dropper."

Yep.

Ah, feels so good to be
back in the field.

Feel that cold Pleistocene
breeze in our hair.

Only thing is I do feel a
little naked

without a clever costume on.

Oh, I'm sort of off
of costumes right now.

Oh, because of
your John Cos-play.

What's going on
with you two anyway?

Well, he dropped me,
which sucks.

I mean, you know.

Why would you say that?

Oh, there's no shame in it.

You know, I just used to think
of you as Amaya's arm candy.

So it's nice to know

you're more than just
the guy Amaya dumped.

She didn't dump me... we broke
up to save the timeline.

Yeah, Constantine
let me down easy, too.

Said it was about the balance
of good and evil.

Wait, did she dump me?

Well, all I know is she started

a family with another guy
real fast.

You tell me.

Oh, but hey, hey,
you get back out there.

Meet some new people.
Change up your scenery a bit.

Hide.

Yeah, hide
if it heals your heart better.

- Shut up.
- Hide.

- Quitting time.
- No, shut that off.

You're gonna get us killed.

If we don't get
back to the office,

Director Sharpe
is going to kill us.

She hates overtime.

- You're kidding.
- No.

- On three.
- Yes.

- One, two...
- Two...

Three, go.

Gary, go!

Psst. It's me, Ray.

Look straight ahead.

Talk straight
into your newspaper.

No one will suspect a thing.

What do you got on them?

Gilly loves monkeys,

Ian's first language
was Yiddish,

and Declan, his nose
crinkles when he smiles,

it's actually pretty cute.

I don't want
to date them, Haircut.

Just tell me which one
of them I'll have to off.

Well, it appears that Charlie
is our mystery... or fugitive.

Good.

We'll nab her and
send her to hell.

Hell? What?

Look, all she is guilty
of is questionable hygiene,

playing bad music,
and pulling a couple pranks.

- We started this mess.
- We got to take care of it.

All right, well,
just give me some time

to figure out what her powers
are before we move on her.

You've got until
the weasel gets back.

What the hell is that
on your arm?

It's my tattoo.

It's a corgi with a mohawk.

You've lost it, Haircut.

You finally lost it.

It's Rayge, mate.

Were you and your mom close?

Just met her 20 minutes ago.

Died in childbirth.

- Two for two.
- Sorry.

My dad used
to call me "Killer."

Never let me forget what I did.

- Mm. Father of the year.
- Hmm.

Wouldn't guess that
to look at him, would you?

You didn't just happen to run
into your parents, did you?

I've ruined a lot of lives,
and that bastard

is just the first one
to call me out on it.

Listen, if want to wallow
in self-pity,

the Waverider has got
a lot of rooms for that.

I'm partial
to the kitchen myself.

Oh, I'm not here
to wallow, love.

I'm here to fix it.

Give him the old
Manchester mangler.

- What?
- Back-alley vasectomy.

Back-alley vas...

No, John, you can't...

Oh, what happened?

Ball kick paradox... you can't
kick your own dad in the junk

because you'd erase yourself
from the timeline,

which means there
would be no one

to kick your dad in the junk.

Bloody hell I can't.

Toss off, you legless wanker.

Tommy! Tommy,
are you all right?

Get the hell out of my pub.

I never want to see
your face again.

You won't.

Another cracking
Constantine family reunion.

Look, I get it.

There's a lot of things
I wish I could change.

But you can't mess
with your past.

Time travel 101.

Oh, it's not just my mum.

There are others I've hurt.

My past...

is coming for me.

What do you mean?

- You know what?
- Forget it.

Ray will be needing
us now, won't he?

- Hello, punk friends.
- Anyone seen Charlie?

We know what you've been up to.

You do? Of course you do,
I'm a terrible liar.

Shut it, Rayge.

- If that is your real name.
- Which I'm pretty sure it's not.

You said you left New York
to escape the disco scene.

Then explain this?

Mamma Mia.

"Mystery disco band leaves
the audience saying,

'Thank you for the music.'"

Can you even name a punk song?

Well... I...

I told you idiots
we couldn't trust him.

- He's a narc.
- Yeah. Disco narc.

Look, can we just
talk about this calmly?

Calmly?

Is this Rayge chap
ever gonna have a rage or not?

I think we should glue
sequins all over him

and string him up
like a disco ball at the Roxy.

Shut it!

Listen to yourselves.

You lot sound like
brainwashed pigs.

So what, the bloke
fancies a bit of disco?

Gilly used to be a nun.
Ian was a mime.

I've done a stint in the lockup.

Declan's not even Irish.

I thought
it sounded more street.

- We've all got a past.
- And it is just that... a past.

I don't care who
you were before.

Whoever you want to be now...
That's what matters.

Did you put butter in the
coffee machine again, Gary?

- Yes.
- Hey, Ava.

- Oh, hey.
- Happy Tuesday.

How was your evening?

- Actually, it was nice.
- What about you?

You ready to get back out there?

Gary told me you guys wrapped up

yesterday's mission
without a hitch.

I am very impressed.

I look forward to
reading the report.

Good job.

We wrapped it up?

- It wrapped itself up.
- The blip is gone.

What do you mean it's gone?

- Don't overthink it, Nate.
- Take the win.

Oh, I got you something
to commemorate

our first mission together
as time bros.

It's an exotic plant
to spruce up your work space.

Looks good.

Mixtape.

If you're gonna be in the band,

you should be able to
at least name one punk song.

- Cool.
- Thank you.

And thank you for earlier.

Oh, sometimes the others think

they're the damn punk police.

I have to tell you something.

My name is not really Rayge.

In fact,
it's nothing anger-related.

It's just Ray.

- Just Ray?
- Yeah.

I like that.

So, Just Ray, what
happened to your old crew?

Well, Sara met
a special someone,

and they're trying
to make it work.

- Oh, that will kill a band.
- Mm.

My best friend,
Nate, he has a desk job.

And, Amaya... well, she's gone.

I actually really miss her.

She was kind of
our moral compass.

Helped us do the right thing

when it wasn't always easy
to do the right thing.

I never knew disco
could get so barmy.

Well, I guess the way we did it,

yeah, it did get pretty barmy.

So, um, how long
were you locked up?

Long enough to know
I ain't ever going back.

What happened?

Small-minded people got scared.

Turned to law and order
to make themselves feel big.

Prison seems extreme
for a little bit of mischief.

I wasn't sent away
for stealing corgis.

You sure you can handle
the truth, Just Ray"?

Yeah, try me.

Whoa.

This doesn't freak you out?

No.

Such rapid molecular
transformation is...

To quote an old friend...
Astonishing.

How do you choose who to be
when you can be anybody?

Just saw this mug on a
toothpaste ad on the tube.

I liked her smile.

Huh.

Wow. Must be strange
to completely change.

It is. That's why I have to
hold tight to what I believe...

Strong drinks, loud music,
and screwing the system.

Otherwise I'd lose myself.

You're a pretty cool lady...

or man...

or whatever you want to be.

I wish the humans who threw
me in the slammer

felt that way.

They just saw a magical
creature and panicked.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, don't be.

You're one of the good ones,
Just Ray.

Sara, I figured it out.

- All right, Ray.
- What are we dealing with?

She's a shapeshifter.

She doesn't kidnap the Queen.
She becomes the Queen.

I knew it.

You definitely said leprechaun.

So I have an idea.

What if I just ask her to stop
impersonating the Queen?

History goes back
to the way it was,

and we don't have
to send her to hell.

Ray, so far
we've learned that unicorns

are homicidal maniacs

and fairy godmothers
are psychopaths.

And they're supposed
to be the nice ones.

And these
shapeshifting bastards...

They put the rest to shame.

We're talking killing sprees,
world wars, you name it.

Yeah, but she's
not doing any of that.

- She's manipulating you.
- Don't fall for it, mate.

- Too late.
- He's got a tattoo.

Oh, please let it be
a tramp stamp.

She's not hurting anyone.

- Sit tight, Haircut.
- We'll work this out.

- Thank you, Mick.
- Maybe we could...

He's in too deep.

For once I agree with you.

Ray has no bloody idea
what he's dealing with.

Ray has been doing
this a long time.

He can handle himself.

Sara, if this thing gets
loose, there is no stopping it.

Trust me.

Zari, what do you think?

Has the shapeshifter
gotten to Ray?

Yeah.

All right, then,
squad save the Queen.

That's not the plan.

Do you trust me?

- Of course.
- You're my friend.

- We got to go.
- What? Why?

Because my friends
don't trust me.

- Ray?
- We just want to talk.

So your disco mates
think I'll come quietly.

Who are you really?

- Look, Declan was right.
- I am a narc.

I'm a magic narc.

I was sent here to capture
you and take you in, but...

You ain't sending
me back to prison.

I'm not gonna do it.

Haircut!

Then what are you gonna do?

You told me that you wanted
to shock people

and wake them up.

Well, that's what
I'm gonna do... to my own team.

You asked me who I really am?

I'm a punk.

Come on, Ray, open the door.

Or we burn it down.

Ah. Lunch is here.

Yes.

Hey, I have an idea
for you guys.

- Who guys?
- You guys. The Time Bureau.

Oh.

Sorry, uh, that was supposed
to be top secret.

Oh, no worries,
because I was thinking,

you know how time zones
go up and down?

Well, what about sideways?

Sideways time zones.
Huh? Like across?

So you wouldn't have to
change your clock when took...

A solo road trip across America!

- That's genius.
- Thanks!

What is happening?

Sorry I have to do this.

And have a nice day.

Okay, you got a sandwich.

I got a sandwich.

Pro tip... Bureau pays for lunch
so make sure you eat enough

so you're not hungry again
until tomorrow.

You really do know
all the boring tricks.

- I can see you're in a funk.
- Is this still about Amaya?

Lay it on the Gar-Bear.
It's okay to cry.

In fact...

it's encouraged.

Gary, where did
you get that plant?

It's from our
first mission together.

I wanted it to have
a special meaning for us.

Gary?

Gary, it's magical.

It is?

Gary, stapler.

Today we ride! Hyah!

Well, no sign of Ray
or the creature, Captain.

Sara? Sara?

Hmm. Maybe you should have
put a tracker in her comm.

What the hell, Ray?

All right, come on.

Sara, Charlie decked me.

Oh, no.

No.

Sara? Sara?

Mick.

Oh, no.

Stop.

Don't hurt my friends.

Your friends are drones.

No, they're better than that.

I'm not taking the chance.

No way I'm going back to prison.

Atom suit... disassemble.

Dr. Palmer voice
authenticated.

- Guess you're a drone, too.
- That's enough.

Zari.

Great. Now let's
send this beast to hell.

Wait.

Hell? What the hell?

Guys, come on, look...

let's think about this,
all right?

She is not evil.

She stole your suit
and tried to kill us, Ray.

That's the ballsiest thing
you've ever done, Haircut.

She's only doing what any one
of you would have done

if you were cornered.

We let her out, this is on us.

The portal is open, now send
the monster through.

I'll show you what
a real monster looks like.

Like this.

Like someone who'd
rather do what's easy...

than figure out what's right.

Someone who'd send
an innocent to hell.

Don't fall for
its bloody parlor tricks.

Ray said your team's
moral compass is missing.

Can you send her to hell?

Zari, you're too smart to
fall for this bloody creature.

Now send it through.

I can't keep
the portal open forever.

No, I can't do it.

All right, we're gonna
figure this out on the ship.

- Fine.
- But I'm not letting

a shapeshifter
on the bloody ship.

What did you do to me, you ass?

It's a lobotomy of sorts.

Your shapeshifting days
are over, sweetheart.

No!

Come on, you cowards!

Come on down here.

We can't just leave
her locked in there forever.

You are on thin ice in terms
of what we can and cannot do.

Those punks were
a bad influence on you.

Oh, well, maybe you just
don't know as much about me

as you think you do.

You were an Eagle Scout,
former CEO of Palmer Tech.

Your favorite musical is
"Singing in the Rain."

You're allergic to cats
and Grodd,

and you were knighted
by Queen Guinevere

Sir Raymond of the Palms.

- Okay, so you know a lot.
- Yeah.

But you don't know
that I was the man

who helped Nora Dark
escape the Time Bureau.

You what?

She's not going to
sleep with you, Haircut.

That is not why I did it.

I just believe
she can be a better person.

Maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe she's a terrible,
horrible monster.

But I believe she should be
given the chance to find out.

Everyone else on this ship
has been given a second chance.

Why doesn't she get one?

Look, you better
not be wrong about her.

But right now we need to deal
with our current captive.

She cannot stay on the ship.

Yeah, especially
now with Amaya's face.

It's frickin' creepy.

You broke her,
you fix her, weasel.

Make her not Amaya again.

Spell doesn't work
like that, Womble.

I took away her power
to transform.

It's like clipping
an angel's wings.

You can't exactly unclip them.

Whoo!

That was one surprisingly
strong little plant.

Surprisingly full of goo.

I like what you've
done with the place.

Sort of a little
office of horrors theme.

Nate showed the plant
who's boss, Captain Lance.

Oh, yeah?

Although the plant did
get in a lot of punches.

Okay, Gar-Gar.

All right, let's leave a little
something to the imagination.

Speaking of, you should
probably change your shirt

before Ava gets back.

I can see where your nipple was.

And the handshake.

Aw.

You already found
a new time bro.

He's growing on me.

Okay, but really, when are
you coming back to the ship?

There's a situation

that I could really use
your input on.

When I took
this job at the Time Bureau,

I thought I was doing it
for my dad

or even maybe
a little bit for Ava.

But, um, the truth is, I was
trying to avoid the Waverider.

Why?

Because every room
I went into on that ship,

I was hoping she'd be there.

- Amaya.
- Yeah.

But I'm over it.

Amaya is no longer
on the Waverider.

That's it.

I'm sorry, you wanted to talk
about something?

Um, no, it can... it'll wait.

Maybe a little Bureau time
is exactly what you need.

So I think
you should stay here...

because I like
to watch you grow.

- Mm. Thank you, Sara.
- Yeah.

Hi.

Uh, wow.

So enough chitchat.
Dinner? Drinks?

Should we just get
straight to it?

Whoa, whoa, what did I say
about professional boundaries.

Sorry.

I mean, look at this place.

Can you please tell me...

How do you keep five Legends
on a leash at once?

Very loosely,

because sometimes we pull you
in the right direction.

Hey, you got a minute?

I just wanted to say...
About the pub...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Listen, if you're here to have
some weepy, heart-to-heart,

end-of-the-mission hug fest
where you tell me

that my problems
are your problems

and that happiness
is just one friend away

and all that bollocks,
don't bother, yeah?

Hey, you don't know me.

I wouldn't do that.
That would be lame.

Yeah, it would.

So why are you here?

I wanted to give you this
surveillance photo

I took of you and your mom.

Thank you...

you know, for not doing any
of that stuff.

- Yeah.
- Anytime.

I hate cops.

I am well aware of that, Mick.

Well, today we
nearly became cops.

Yeah, but we didn't.

- No.
- Thanks to you, Rayge.

- Aw.
- Thanks, Mick.

All right, are you two plonkers

just gonna stand there
and stare at me,

or is one of you gonna
poor me a bloody pint?

- She definitely isn't Amaya.
- Ahh!

No.

But I do like her.