Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963): Season 6, Episode 14 - The Party Spoiler - full transcript

Starring...

and...

Hey, Mom, are you home?

Hey, Mom?

Hey Mom's in here.

Hey, Mom.

Wally, my name's not Hey Mom.

Look, would you bring
those things for me?

Well, sure.

Hey, I got a list of the guys

that are coming to the
party here Saturday night.



Party?

Hey, Mom?

Hey, Mom?

It's not Hey Mom.

Besides, we're talking.

I think you know most of
the guys on the list, Mom.

Wally, I didn't know
anything about a party.

Well, sure you do.

The other night I asked you

if I could have a
party here sometime,

and you and Dad said yes.

And this Saturday
night is sometime.

When was this?

Don't you remember, Mom?



Well, you were on the telephone

and Dad was watching
a football game on TV,

and Wally asked you.

And we said yes?

Well, sure. It's okay, isn't it?

Yes, I guess so.

Hey, that's great, Mom.

Hi, dear.

Oh, hi.

Honey, do you remember
giving Wally permission

to have a party here?

A party?

No, I know nothing
about a party.

When did this come up?

Well, Wally said he
asked us the other day

when you were watching a
football game on television

and I was on the phone.

And we said yes?

Evidently.

Here's the guest list.

Well, all right, but
I think next time

we better get it
in writing, huh?

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Wally. How did
it go at school today?

Pretty good.

Hey, I already got 16
guys invited to the party.

16?

Well, at least it's a start.

I'm going to get on
the phone right now

and see if I can get ahold
of some of the guys I missed.

What about the refreshments?

I have to know just
how much to plan on?

Well, why don't you just figure

on how much food
and stuff you'd need

if you were throwing
a party for adults,

and then double it.

Well, that's okay with me, Mike,

but Alan says we got to do
what Gilbert says we got to do.

Yeah, what did he
say we ought to do?

Yeah, but what he
says we ought to do

isn't necessarily what
Denny says we ought to do.

No kidding?

I thought he wanted to
do what I wanted to do.

No fooling? He
said we ought to do

what the other guy
said we ought to do?

Come on, Beaver. Get
off the phone, will you?

Just a minute.

What's the matter
with you, Wally?

Me and Mike are
trying to figure out

what we're going to do with
that three-day holiday next month.

Give me that phone.

Hello, Mike?

Hey, look, Beaver
will call you back

in a little while, okay?

Okay.

Boy, Wally.

Wait till the next time you get

one of your creepy
girlfriends on the telephone.

I'm going to hang
up right on her face.

Look, you weren't
saying anything to Mike.

I got to get ahold of
the guys. It's important.

Hello, Ronny?

Hey, this is Wally Cleaver.

Look, I'm going to have

a party over at my
house Saturday night.

I thought you might
want to come, you know.

Well, sure, you
have to wear a tie.

Yeah, yeah, and shoes, too.

You'll come anyway, huh?

Okay, well, then I'll
see you about 7:00.

Yeah, good. Bye.

Hey, Wally, I was just
thinking it would be kind of fun...

Beaver, will you get out of
here and quit pestering me?

Well, yeah, I know, but...

Look, beat it, will you?

You're just bothering me.

Hello, Hank.

Hey, this is Wally Cleaver.

Look, I kind of might
have a bunch of the guys

over to the house Saturday
night for a little party.

Uh, Mom?

Mom?

Hmm?

Well, some of the guys
are trying to figure out

what we ought to do

over that three-day
holiday next month.

I think we ought
to go to the lake,

but Denny says we ought to do

what Gilbert says
we ought to do.

But Alan says we ought to do
what Whitey says we ought to do.

What do you think
we ought to do?

Assorted nuts and potato chips.

Uh, Mom, I asked you what
you think we ought to do.

Well, that sounds fine, Beaver.

Sugar.

Uh, Mom?

Beaver, look, I'm trying
to concentrate on things

I'm going to need
for Wally's party.

Oh, I know, Mom, but...

Honey, don't you have some
homework or something?

Yes, Mom.

And don't bother your brother

'cause he has a lot to do, too.

Yes, Mom.

All right, good,
about 7:00 then, huh?

Okay, I'll see you.

Oh, hey, Beav, here, you
can use the phone now.

Thanks, Wally.

- Oh, Wally?
- Yeah?

Your party's sounding
like a lot of fun,

but if any of the
girls ask me to dance,

there's nothing doing.

Well, don't worry. Nobody's
going to ask you to dance.

No?

Well, how could they?
You're not going to be there.

- Hi, Dad.
- Hi, Beav.

What's in the box?

Oh, it's a punch
bowl for Wally's party.

Hey, Dad... Uh, Beaver, not now.

I want to take this
out to the kitchen

and talk to your mother
about Wally's party.

Wally, I thought
I'd put all the food

on the dining room table,

and then your guests
can help themselves.

Oh, that sounds great, Mom.

Say, there was... There
was just one thing though.

On Saturday night,

I guess you guys will
be home and everything,

and well, I was just thinking...

We'll be upstairs in our
room the entire evening.

So you can stop worrying
about any old folks

cramping your style, okay?

Yeah, well, it
wasn't exactly that,

but Dad, you won't
keep coming downstairs

and seeing if you left
your pipe in the living room

and stuff like that, will you?

Only if the trip
seems justified.

I don't think we'll have
any problems there.

Oh, Wally,

there's just one other
thing. About Beaver...

Oh, we don't have to worry
about the Beaver, Mom.

I already told him
he's not coming.

Oh, Wally, you didn't
hurt his feelings, did you?

Oh, gee, no.

I just told him in a nice way
that I wanted him to get lost.

- Hey, Beav.
- Hi, Gilbert.

Hey, run out and
I'll heave you one.

The old pro fades back...

I don't feel like running now.

Golly, Beav, what's the matter?

It's a gyp.

Yeah?

Yeah, my brother
Wally's having a party,

and I wasn't invited.

They don't even know I'm alive.

Yeah, I know how it is.

I've got an older sister,
and she gets all the breaks.

Yeah, I wish I hadn't
waited so long to get born.

Boy, did I get even
with my sister last week.

How?

Well, she's always kicking
me out of the living room

when her boyfriend comes over

so they can sit on the sofa
and look goofy at each other.

Yeah?

So I went down to the magic shop

and got one of
those rubber snakes.

While they were sitting
there, I threw it in front of them.

Did it work?

Well, when I did it, I
thought both of them

were going to leap
out of the window.

Golly.

And then my sister
started crying and trembling,

so her boyfriend put
his arm around her.

And then my father
came in and caught him,

and he started raising heck.

And then my mother came in

and started
yelling at my father.

Boy, it worked out pretty good.

Hey, you know, Beav,

I bet you could go
down to the magic shop.

You sure could find
some real neat trick stuff

to wreck Wally's party with.

But I don't want to
wreck Wally's party.

You don't? After what a
rat brother he's been to you?

Well, he hasn't
exactly been a rat.

Did he invite you to his party?

- Well, no.
- He's a rat.

You wouldn't really
be wrecking the party.

All you got to do is get

some of that
trick stuff they got

like that plastic ice
cube with the bug in it.

That you could put
in the punch bowl.

Yeah.

Yeah, and you could get
some slices of rubber cheese

to put in the sandwiches

and some candy
with soap in the middle

to mix in with the real candy.

Hey, that would be
kind of fun at that.

Yeah, and you could be
upstairs laughing your head off.

Okay, Beav?

Well, sure, why not?

Great idea, huh, Beav?

Yeah, this is a great idea.

I got this at the
magic shop, too.

Uh, Wally, your mother
and I are going to go down

and get the ice
cream and cake now.

Oh, okay.

Boy, thanks a lot, Mom.

Everything sure is shaping
up great for the party.

You're welcome, Wally.

Look, we've been thinking,

and we feel that you should
invite Beaver to your party.

Aw, gee, Mom.

Well, Wally, we've
been sort of ignoring him.

I think you could at
least extend the invitation.

Yeah, but a little kid

hanging around a
bunch of grown-ups...

Grown-ups?

Adults like Eddie and Lumpy.

Wally, we'd
appreciate it very much

if you'd invite your brother.

Well, okay. Okay, I'll ask him.

Well, fine.

He'll probably just come
down, have some refreshments,

and go right back
up to his room.

We'll see you after, Wally.

Yeah, good-bye.

Put the plastic ice
cube in the punch bowl.

Hey, wait a minute.
I can't put it in now.

I'll wait till there's some
real punch and ice in it.

Get the pieces of rubber cheese.

Mix the fake stuff
in real good, Beav.

Boy, wait till those big guys
bite into these soapy centers.

Yeah, I hope it's Eddie Haskell.

Then when he starts
foaming at the mouth,

maybe they'll call
the dog catcher.

Hey, what about
this blinker thing?

Oh, that we put in
the plug of the lamp,

and it makes it go on and off.

Yeah.

Hey, instead of that,

let's put it in the
record player.

Beav, you're a genius.

Then when they start dancing,
the music will go on and off.

Yeah, boy, those big guys

will dance even nuttier
than they usually do.

Oh, it's about time. Where
have you been all day?

What do you want to know for?

If you're going to be
that way about it, forget it.

Forget what?

I was going to ask you

if you wanted to come
to the party tonight.

Were you, Wally?
Were you really?

Well, that's what
I just said, isn't it?

Well, gee, I kind
of got to thinking

that you didn't want me around.

Yeah, well, I guess I probably
should've invited you sooner,

but I kind of forgot.

That's okay, Wally.

I don't have far to go anyway.

Thanks for inviting me.

Oh, that's okay. You don't have

to stick around long
if you don't want to.

You can just grab some
refreshments and then scram.

Well, sure, I'll just get
some refreshments...

Uh-oh.

What's the matter now?

Uh, nothing, but I just thought
of something I have to do.

I'll see you, Wally.

Beaver?

Yes, Dad?

Beaver, please stay away

from the refreshments
until the others get here.

Oh, yes, sir.

Did you talk to Wally?

Yeah, Dad, he
invited me to his party.

Well, good, let's get upstairs
and get cleaned up then.

Hey, you know, Beav,
if you expect to be ready

for the party tonight,
you better hurry up.

Yeah, Wally.

Hey, look, there's
just one request

I have to make of you tonight.

What's that?

Just try and not
act like a little kid

and do goofy stuff, will you?

Oh, Wally, your mother and I

would like to see you
in our room a minute.

Your guests will be
coming any time now,

and there's some things
we want to talk to you about.

Oh, okay, Dad.

I'll get it, Mom.

Would you like me to put
your sweater in the closet.

Oh, no, thank you.
I think I'll keep it on.

Hey, where's the bank, Lionel?

Never mind that.
Where's the grub?

Oh, stop it. We just got here.

Well, come on in, guys.

Yeah, let's get
this party started.

Oh, well, I thought I
heard someone out here.

Why aren't you downstairs
at the party, Beaver?

Everybody's arrived.

Yeah, well, I guess I should be.

Well, sure, you should be.

Your brother was nice
enough to invite you.

Now, you get on down there
and get in on some of the fun.

Yeah, get in on some of the fun.

Would you like a
piece of candy, Helen?

Oh, thank you, Lumpy.

Mmm, yummy candy.

You gals kill me.

Fancy, fancy.

Mmm, yummy candy.

Oh, you're a scream, Lumpy.

Hey, he's not kidding.

Lump, what's wrong?

Where did you make this
stuff? The chemistry lab?

Hey, Beav. Hey, you're
just the guy I wanted to see.

Look, would you
go in the kitchen

and get the other
platter of sandwiches?

Look, Wally, I... Okay, Wally.

Hey, Duncan Hines,

get your grubby little
paws off the food.

You want me to report
you to the Board of Heath?

I know, b-b-but Wally wanted
me to take them in there.

Get lost.

We don't allow bus boys
in the main dining room.

Very funny, Leroy. Very funny.

What are you talking about?

Those retreads you're
serving for sandwiches,

if you work it right,
one sandwich can last

for three parties and
a couple of picnics.

What are you driving at?

Look, Clyde, I...

- Hiya, gorgeous.
- Hello.

- Come on, gorgeous.
- Lumpy.

May I draw thee a cup of nectar

from yon punch
bowl, fair damsel?

She doesn't want any.

Oh, but I'd love some, Lumpy.

Oh, sure she does.

Here we are.

Come on, Eddie. Lay off.

Oh, why don't you go
cover your radiator?

Oh, sorry, sonny.

Here we are, golden nectar
for the beautiful princess.

Phooey.

Compliments of
your prince charming,

Edward Haskell.

Thank you, sir.

Aah!

So much for cruising the Congo.

Let's see what else is on.

I thought I heard a scream.

It was probably Dorothy Lamour

when they passed those
crocodiles in the river.

Ward, you don't think
it's time to go down

and look for your pipe, do you?

And be a snoop?

I know what you mean.

How about sending
me down to look for it?

Ward, when you were Wally's
age and you had a party,

how did your folks
handle the situation?

Uh, my father went
down and got his pipe.

Look, I'm telling you.

I don't know how
this got in there.

Oh, of course you don't.

Well, how about you, Eddie?

This is just the kind
of trick you'd pull.

Oh, sure, sure, I did it.

I'm the kind of guy

that puts rubber cheese
in my own sandwich.

Hey, you guys, look what I found

crawling up the drapes
in the living room.

Oh, isn't this fun?

When are you going to pass out

the paper hats and
the toy balloons?

Let's play Ring
Around the Rosie.

Look, let's start the music

and dance or something, okay?

Oh, that sounds like fun.

Maybe he's got "The
Teddy Bears' Picnic."

Don't you think it's
kind of quiet downstairs?

You know, I was just
thinking the same thing myself.

I feel like a U-2 plane.

♪♪

♪♪

How in the world can anyone
dance to that kind of music?

It's probably something
new... The Hesitation Twist.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Why don't you go
to beddy-bye, junior,

and let the party grow up?

Quit clowning around, Wally.

Wally, I had no idea
you were so juvenile.

Where are you getting all
these clever ideas, Wally?

You been watching

Kiddies' House
Party on TV again?

It's not Wally's fault.

I'm the guy who
did all this stuff.

You, you little creep?

So you're the one who
put the gags around here.

That's what's happening.

Hey, look, Beav,
what's the big idea, huh?

I don't know, Wally.
I guess I just...

You know what I'd do if I had

a little squirt brother like
you? I'd take him out...

Okay, so he did it.

Let's forget it and
get on with the party.

Sure, someone
fix the record player

so we can dance.

It's a trick gadget in the plug.

Wally, can I see
you for a minute?

Yeah, I guess so.

Excuse me a minute.

All right, what do you want now?

I just wanted to say that,

well, I wasn't trying
to wreck your party.

Oh, yeah? Well, I'd hate
to think what would happen

if you were trying.

Yeah, well, I admit I put
all that trick stuff out there,

but I know now it was a mistake.

You know something, Beaver?

The only mistake around here

was me inviting you to my party.

Ward, I don't like
this whole business.

You know those boys
haven't spoken to each other

since last night?

Don't you think you ought
to say something to them?

Well, dear, what do
you want me to say?

"Come on, fellas, let's
show some brotherly love

before I take a strap to you"?

No, but I think it's terrible.

You know, they went through
breakfast, lunch, and dinner

without saying a word.

Oh, no. Tonight at dinner,

Wally ask Beaver to
pass him the butter.

Yes, and Beaver kicked
him under the table.

I wasn't looking at you.

I just wanted to
see what time it was.

Well, I wasn't
looking at you, either.

Wally?

Look, I told you I don't
want you talking to me.

You know, Beaver, you're
really a miserable guy.

I told you to cut that out.

I wasn't talking to you. I
was just talking to myself.

Is there any law against that?

Boy, Beaver,

any guy who would
mess up his brother's party

is really a big rat.

But don't forget

it was sort of the
big brother's fault

for not inviting you
in the first place.

Well, look, Beaver,
I didn't know

you were going
to get so shook up

if I didn't ask you.

I thought you weren't
going to talk to me.

Oh, yeah.

Well, as long as I've
already started talking to you,

I guess there's no
sense in stopping now.

Yeah, well, I guess you're right

'cause I'm getting
kind of lonely

talking to myself.

But Wally, how would
you feel if you had a brother

and he had a party

and everybody made
a big fuss over him

and told you to
get out of the way?

You'd get pretty sore, too.

Yeah, well, I suppose I would.

Wally, I'm sorry I
messed up your party.

Okay, okay, but you don't
have to get mushy about it.

Oh, I'm not,

but couldn't we at
least shake on it?

Yeah, I guess we could.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA